[
 {
  "question": "College students who do not \"play online\" or \"hang out online\" are still subjected to online violence, how to solve this?",
  "description": "I have been threatened by an online \"underground society\" for several days now. Either they block my account or they find people to personally attack me. What confuses me the most is that I still don't know who the other party is, nor do I understand who I have provoked. I am just an ordinary college student in usual times, not involved in any online activities or conflicts. Why did I attract such people? I have reported it to the police, but they ignore it, saying that I haven't suffered any financial loss. However, my QQ account has been blocked, and I am unable to receive class notifications in a timely manner. Additionally, I have been insulted, causing psychological trauma. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, social networking applications",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "~~Give the OP a warm hug. It's sad to hear that the OP has encountered such a situation. The harm caused by the internet is always invisible, but it brings real damage. The OP can try to close these social media accounts first, temporarily stay away from this uncomfortable environment, and make other choices and decisions when we relax. Secondly, since the OP mentioned that they don't like surfing the internet, when considering the reasons for personal social media account and information leakage, the OP may consider whether it is related to people around them. On the other hand, let's see if there are any common elements in these attacks, such as targeting a certain event. Maybe it can help us find the cause.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
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      "start": 0,
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      "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
     },
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      "start": 29,
      "end": 54,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 54,
      "end": 173,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
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      "start": 173,
      "end": 220,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10081
 },
 {
  "question": "It feels very difficult to study before the college entrance examination (gaokao), what should I do?",
  "description": "The college entrance exam is coming soon, but the most important thing is to control your mindset. When I study, I always feel a sense of pain. Even if I don't want to study or do something, there is always a feeling of forcing myself, like a heavy burden. I'm afraid to set goals because I'm afraid I won't achieve them. My mind is not focused on studying. I allow myself to play and relax, not pushing myself too hard, otherwise, I will feel very miserable. I try hard to accept myself but I often feel conflicted. After finishing classes on Saturday, I would play all night and stay up until 2 am just to finish an assignment that my mom pushed me to do. On Sundays, I would sleep until noon and still procrastinate. When I'm playing, I would think about whether I should do my homework, but when I'm studying, I feel really miserable and suppressed. My grades are not high, probably around the passing line for college, with a difference of 20 or 30 points. I still want to do well every time, but I also need to slowly learn to accept myself, which is very painful. When I study, I know that I shouldn't cheat and I need to focus until the end, but I still want to maintain a joyful mood. Why does studying make me feel so painful? Even if it's just one problem that I get wrong or don't know how to do, I feel very uncomfortable. I don't want to do it, but I still feel a sense of pushing myself. It's uncomfortable. It seems like the college entrance exam hasn't made me understand the importance of relaxing and enjoying life. I'm afraid of regretting it.",
  "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello ~ I really understand your feelings, sending you a hug ~ It is normal to feel anxious, restless, and even averse to high-pressure studying before the college entrance examination. In psychology, avoidance conflict is a type of psychological (motivational) conflict proposed by Lewin. It refers to the psychological conflict caused by the individual having both a desire to approach and a desire to avoid the same goal. This kind of conflict is common in daily life because many goals in life are attractive but often require effort. People trapped in this conflict often have a greater tendency to approach the goal when they are far away from it, but as the goal approaches, the tendency to avoid it increases dramatically, surpassing the tendency to approach, and causing people to give up pursuing the goal. When the feeling of avoidance becomes stronger than the motivation to study, you will feel distressed. Upon further reflection, in avoidance conflict, people are very clear about what they want, which is the reason for \"approach\". The real influence on people comes from all the thoughts related to \"avoidance\". For example, your current state, why should you study well, why don't you want to study well, I believe you know them all. Ask yourself: under what circumstances, or when certain conditions are met, can I achieve what I want? Shift your focus to the motivation that will make you study well, and your aversion will decrease. You can think like this, \"Only if I study well now (based on your own study plan), I will achieve what kind of results...\" Best wishes ~",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there, sending you a hug~ 1. \"The college entrance examination (gaokao) is approaching, but the most important thing is to control your mindset,\" as the original poster said. It's true, as the gaokao is not just a written exam, but also a test of students' comprehensive abilities. Many people can perform well in regular exams, but when it comes to important exams, they panic and their mindset becomes unstable, leading to mistakes. It can be seen that the original poster understands the importance of mindset and values it, but doesn't know how to adjust it. 2. \"How should we adjust our mindset and face the gaokao positively?\" \"When I am studying, I always feel a sense of pain. I clearly don't want to study or do anything, but there is always a feeling of forcing myself, like a heavy burden.\" In the current situation of the original poster, their mindset is not good, making studying a heavy burden that weighs them down. Sending you a hug, I have also experienced the same feelings as the original poster. This is because facing the gaokao, the pressure is too great, and our psychology instinctively rejects it and doesn't want to face it. But within the limits of our cognitive abilities, as students, we should strive to study diligently and not relax at all before the exam. These two extremes will put us in a contradictory situation, making us feel that no matter what we do, it's not enough. The original poster may try stopping studying and playing, allowing themselves to calm down and ask themselves what they want. Are their goals too high? Are the expectations from family and teachers too high, making them feel overwhelmed? Go back to the root and find the source of your stress, and appropriately relieve it! 3. \"I am afraid to set goals because I'm afraid of not reaching them.\" For those who have trouble setting goals for themselves, they can seek help from teachers and family to set a realistic and achievable goal. In these remaining ten plus days before the exam, give it your all and work towards that goal. Wholeheartedly strive for your goal, and you will achieve what you desire. 4. \"Make a reasonable schedule and balance work and rest.\" Facing the gaokao, it's also important to exercise and relax. Allow yourself some free time and don't become too tense because of the gaokao. When you play, let go of your distractions and enjoy yourself. When you study, focus your attention and improve efficiency. For the gaokao, give it your all for your own goals. In these remaining ten plus days, plan your revisio\nn for each subject well, focus on studying, and worry less about the future. By doing well in the present, you can have a future. Good luck and best wishes for a successful gaokao!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, 1. Role expectations can be adjusted. As a high school student, many times the roles we play are burdened with excessive societal and familial expectations. This often leads to a distorted self-perception of our roles. A typical example is when we replace our own goals with our roles. At this point, we may believe that we should be able to do most of the questions and think we should be tireless individuals. With such high role expectations, it is easy to bear the bitter fruit of failure. [In the context mentioned, when faced with difficult questions that we cannot solve, we feel suppressed and miserable. But when we haven't persisted in studying for a long time or when we are engaged in other activities, we tend to be distracted. These may all be due to a deviation in self-awareness, substituting others' role expectations for our own self-perception.] 2. Pay attention to grasping the source of motivation switch. Have you noticed? Why do we have an endless supply of motivation for some tasks? For example, when running on a long track, if people cheer and encourage you every few meters, you will have a continuous source of motivation to persevere. But if your loved ones and friends are waiting for you at the finish line on this track that seems never-ending, it would be a distance that feels hopeless at first glance. You might not even have the motivation to take a step. Therefore, as Wang Jianlin said, set yourself a small goal first, such as making a billion dollars. You can also set yourself a small goal. Do you understand? 3. Pay attention to avoiding the compensatory mechanism of goals. Sometimes we all like to set ideals for ourselves, such as becoming the richest person in the future or being the top student in the class. When you have these ideals, you feel a sense of satisfaction. This satisfaction can suppress your current anxieties, and if you don't have anxiety, you will lose a lot of motivation\u2014the most primal motivation. You might have a perception error and believe that you are already the first. Then you will have a lofty feeling. Therefore, many people like to set goals for themselves and write plans. On one hand, this alleviates most of the anxiety but deprives us of enough anxiety to stimulate motivation. Feel free to message me for further discussion. Jiaozhuo Uncle.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Actually, at this time, every candidate is feeling hopeless and confused, just like you. But it's important to stabilize your mentality now. Don't forget what you have learned before, and make up for what you haven't learned yet. The most important thing is to keep yourself happy. A good mindset before the college entrance examination is crucial, and it can even help you perform exceptionally well. Every day, boost your confidence, study when you want to, and relax when you don't feel like studying. Take care of yourself and approach the exam calmly. In summary, mindset is important, so be confident and happy. As for what to do, I have a few suggestions: \n\n1. Psychological suggestion: Suggestion is a psychological phenomenon that can be positive or negative. If you have a bad mood and give yourself negative suggestions, it will only make things worse and make you more irritable. In this case, you should give yourself positive suggestions, remind yourself that this is a normal phenomenon, and believe that the dark clouds will eventually disperse. At the same time, remember the beautiful scenes you have experienced in the past and the things you are proud of to relieve psychological pressure. The famous \"spiritual victory method\" is actually a positive psychological suggestion from the perspective of psychology. It can be very effective in specific periods and situations.\n\n2. Goal transfer: If you feel agitated and unable to concentrate due to a certain matter or person, don't force yourself to work. Instead, watch TV, listen to music, write in your diary, or read a couple of inspiring articles. Don't think that this is a waste of time. In fact, it is \"sharpening the axe will not delay the cutting of firewood.\" Your emotions will quickly be relieved and relaxed, allowing you to better focus on what you need to do.\n\n3. Thought exchange: Psychological studies have shown that everyone has the desire and need to communicate with others. Some people do not want to let others know their worries and are unwilling to talk about their troubles, frustrations, and sadness. This not only does not help solve the problem but also increases their anxiety. Over time, it may even lead to psychological barriers. The correct approach is to find a close friend to communicate and have a heart-to-heart talk. You can also chat with an online friend or talk to a certain item in your home, expressing your feelings and gradually eliminating restlessness.\n\n4. Exercise release: If the first three methods can be considered \"mental therapy,\" then this method is a form of \"physical therapy\" that aims to eliminate restlessness by consuming physical energy. When you feel agitated, you can go for a few laps on the playground, play a game, stretch your muscles, or shout into the distance and sing loudly to relax your whole body. These practices have been proven effective and are in line with the saying \"life lies in movement.\" I hope this can help you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The feelings you are experiencing right now are actually something many students will encounter. As long as we face ourselves and seek help from others, we can \"safely get through\" this. Let me share my story. I was also like this when I started my senior year, under a lot of pressure. I couldn't control my emotions and often broke down. My situation was even worse than yours. Later on, my grades were not ideal either. I eventually found a teacher to talk to and started writing a journal every day. Gradually, my mood improved. Now, in college, I study psychology. In fact, many young people experience significant emotional fluctuations, but we shouldn't pretend to be strong; instead, we should acknowledge our vulnerability. In the current situation, the best way is to find the school's counselor to chat with. Lastly, mental health is also very important. By seeking help bravely, you have already overcome a major hurdle, so expressing your current emotions to a counselor is the best approach.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "From the current situation, the college entrance examination (gaokao) has become a necessary path for most people. Studying is not the only way, but it is also a way. The mindset is the most important. You just need to work hard and leave the rest to fate. I hope my sharing can be of some help to you. Firstly, arrange your study time reasonably to ensure learning efficiency. Learning efficiency and quality are closely related to time, but the efficiency of a fatigue strategy is definitely low. As the college entrance examination approaches, your state of mind is the most important. Proper rest and relaxation will not only not affect learning efficiency, but also improve efficiency and effectiveness. So plan a reasonable study schedule, maintain a pleasant mood, and improve your learning efficiency. Secondly, vary your study methods. Many candidates focus only on doing practice questions, but the more they do, the more they experience \"mental saturation.\" In fact, the closer it gets to the college entrance examination, the more you should return to the textbooks. Therefore, it doesn't hurt to do fewer practice questions and spend more time studying the curriculum standards and exam instructions, as well as reviewing the textbooks. Try changing your approach and organize the knowledge points using mind maps. Find a learning method that suits you and become more familiar with the knowledge points you have already mastered. Lastly, change your study environment. The brain prefers a clean and fresh environment. Before the exam, try not to stay indoors for a long time. As long as the weather permits, go to a school or park with a good outdoor environment and find a suitable study environment. With love and words accompanying you, wishing you all the best.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Actually, at this moment, every candidate is feeling the same way as you, with no end in sight and even feeling lost. But now, it's important to stabilize your mindset. Don't forget what you have learned before and try to catch up on what you haven't learned yet. Your own happiness is the most important thing. The mindset before the college entrance examination is crucial; if it is good, you can even perform exceptionally well. Keep your confidence up every day, study when you feel like it, and don't study when you don't want to. Maintain a good state of mind and approach the exam relaxed and stress-free. In conclusion, the mindset is crucial, be confident, be happy.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Before last year's college entrance examination, I had the same feeling as you. Here, I would like to give you a hug and offer some advice. The best method is to maintain a calm mindset and not overthink or be overly anxious. That's how I comforted my friends. Having the right mindset is crucial before the college entrance examination. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, but also don't have too little. Excessive or insufficient pressure can affect your exam results. I just hope that you can relax your mood, calm your mind, and affirm to yourself that you can succeed in your studies. Try your best to learn and review from the mistaken question sets.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 19126
 },
 {
  "question": "How to break free from the feeling of constantly shifting between jobs, feeling empty inside, and lacking a sense of security?",
  "description": "I have been working for three or four years, but I cannot keep a job for long. Once I become familiar with the work and settle down, I start feeling restless and uneasy every day doing repetitive tasks. After a while, I feel like my life is stagnant, and the thought of having to live like this for a long time makes me feel uncomfortable and scared. The longer I stay, the more I feel tempted to self-harm and even have thoughts of ending my life. Although there are no issues with my work and my bosses approve of me, every time I try to quit, they don't want me to leave and try to persuade me to stay. Even though I am not talkative, because I don't look unattractive and am somewhat obedient, my colleagues were initially willing to approach me. But when they realized I didn't talk much, they became distant. However, when they need help and see that I appear helpless, a few of them will proactively assist me. In the beginning, I would quit jobs after working for six months, but later on, I started feeling overwhelmed after three or four months. One time, when I was feeling miserable for no reason, I cried, but I couldn't explain why when others asked. I managed to hold onto one job for over a year, but after quitting it, I felt a strong desire to end my life. I have never understood the purpose of being alive, and my heart has always felt empty. Even when I have a boyfriend, I never believe that they truly love me, and I always feel like my mom doesn't love me either. I have always felt like there is something separating me from this world, and I constantly feel that my life is hopeless with no prospects for the future.",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, work and study, the meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: Well, I feel that my boyfriend doesn't love me, my mother doesn't love me, I can't get along with my colleagues and boss for a long time, and it seems that I don't have any good friends. There is no mention of other relationships, so I don't know. I always feel like a pitiful little creature, unable to interact with others, and in your mind, all relationships are \"disconnected,\" like a kite with a broken string, it feels really empty. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. I have been working for three or four years, but I can't stay in any job for long. Once I become familiar with the work and settle down, I feel restless and uneasy every day after a while. Life feels stagnant, and thinking that I have to live like this for a long time makes me feel uncomfortable and scared. The longer I stay, the more I feel like self-harming, or even having thoughts of suicide. (I have worked for three or four years, but the work situation has remained constant. Instead of saying I can't stay stable, it's more like I can't. It seems that you are especially afraid of things without vitality, that feeling of life being still, you panic and fear. I'm thinking that someone who resorts to self-harm to \"resist\" this stagnant state must have many unspeakable parts behind it.) 2. Even though there are no problems at work, the bosses acknowledge me, and every time I try to quit, they don't want me to leave and try to persuade me to stay. Although I am not talkative, because I don't look ugly and am a bit cute, colleagues initially are willing to approach me. But when they find out I am not talkative, they become somewhat distant. However, when they really need help, because I look pitiful, a few of them will take the initiative to help me. (My dear, your description is very vivid and objective. No one dislikes you at work, and you don't despise anyone either, but you just \"don't want\" to be intimate with people. Can you really see pity in appearance? Is it about emotional state? Is it because of the many grievances in your heart?) 3. I used to stay in each job for about six months before quitting, but for the later ones, I would start to feel overwhelmed after three or four months. One time when there was nothing serious, I cried with a bad mood, but couldn't explain it to others. In one job, I persisted for over a year, but after quitting, I had the idea of wanting to end my life. (So, after each job collapsed, did you quit after working for a month? Maybe you have been trying your best to persist. You really want to do something long-term, like others, so you tried for over a year, but in the end, it was still \"impossible.\" I know you have been trying hard, perhaps you still don't understand yourself enough? Maybe this problem can be solved? If given the chance, I would be willing to work hard with you.) 4. You have never understood what living is for, and your heart has always been empty. Even with a boyfriend, you don't believe they truly love you, and you still think your mother doesn't love you. You always feel like there is something separating you from this world, and you constantly feel that your life is hopeless, and there's no hope in living. (You are only in your twenties, I don't know how you and your mother used to get along, I believe your feelings are real, at least real in your heart. But do you really understand your mother? Perhaps she also has her own difficulties? There is a misunderstanding between you and your mother. There is indeed a gap between you and the world, but it can be overcome. I believe you also want to resolve this issue, after all, we are not alive to suffer, right? If we don't figure it out, our hearts will always be empty. If you are willing, we can explore together.) Conclusion: Wishing you happiness and joy! I hope you can emerge from the darkness and experience the sunlight soon! If you have any confusion, you can private message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand that you're in a lot of pain. You complain about life while also hating yourself for complaining about it. You're experiencing inner conflicts and feeling torn, but this means that deep down, you have a desire for a radiant life. I hope to help you resolve these inner conflicts and provide assistance. My suggestion is to set goals or find motivation for yourself. The question of the meaning of life is a thought-provoking one, and there is no fixed answer. Each person's answer is different, and only you can provide that answer for yourself. You feel that life is meaningless because you lack motivation. If you find motivation, you will feel more fulfilled. This motivation can be something small or someone special. Seek out the joys in life. The daily grind is the reality for most adults. How can you take a break from the repetitive workday? Watch a movie, have a nice meal, travel, and see the beauty of the world. Many things we haven't experienced yet, many novel things await you. Learn to reconcile with yourself. There's a saying, \"We are born free, yet everywhere we are in chains.\" Don't be afraid to face the challenges and chains of life. It's not possible for everything to go smoothly all the time. Accept love from others and learn to love others as well. Sometimes we can't feel the love from those around us because of our deep-rooted lack of confidence and resistance to love. When we love the world and the people around us, we will discover many beautiful things. I hope you can overcome your troubles and get better soon!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "\"I have been working for three or four years, but I can never stay in a job for long. Once I become familiar with the work and settle down, doing the same repetitive tasks every day, I start feeling restless and uneasy after a while. It feels like my life is stagnant, and I think about how I have to live like this for a long time, which makes me feel uncomfortable and scared. The longer I stay, the more I have thoughts of self-harm and even suicide. After reading this, I feel like you are someone who doesn't like things to stay the same. After a long time in a job, you remember all the processes by heart, and it feels like you know how to do things even with your eyes closed. As a result, you get bored because you can see that the road ahead is the same. My suggestion is to set higher goals and give yourself more challenges. The thoughts of self-harm and suicide come from your dissatisfaction with your current life situation. If these thoughts persist for more than two weeks, I recommend consulting a psychologist. 'I have never understood why I am alive, my heart has always been empty. Even when I have a boyfriend, I never believe that they truly love me, and I always feel like my mother doesn't love me. I always feel like I am separated from this world, and I constantly feel that my life is hopeless, and there is no hope in living.' Wang Xiaobo once said: 'I live in this world, simply hoping to understand some truths and encounter interesting things. If I can achieve that, then my life is a success.' The meaning of being alive is something you give to yourself, and you decide what kind of life you want to have. Maybe you have enclosed yourself too tightly and cannot feel the warmth or coldness of the outside world, or maybe you cannot understand or sense the love from your boyfriend and mother. You can communicate with them and figure out what kind of love you want. Lastly, sending you a hug.\"",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "When I saw this question, all I could think of was, is this not me? And I still hear my dad's voice deep down in my heart, saying, \"Look at what a failure you are! A child with no future will never stick to anything!\" For a while, I even considered it as a standard, but now I just want to spit it out. Those replies like \"you should go out and find interests\" or something, I appreciate their effort but I don't agree. The emotional resonance of this question is really strong for me. If I had the motivation to find hobbies and interests myself, would I still come here to ask? I don't know if you're a brother or sister, based on my personal experience, the first thing you need to do is go to a regular hospital and seek counseling from the psychology department, not the psychiatry department. Take medication as an adjunct therapy for a period of time. Of course, if you no longer have the motivation to take medication, then you should first listen to some courses on increasing internal motivation and self-love. I've been listening for three days and I feel a little better already. First of all, no matter what, do not deny yourself!! Who says changing jobs is wrong!! These are valuable experiences! No experience is wasted! It may be a bit long and illogical, but it's all genuine feelings. Please bear with it. Because for now, this is all I can think of...",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Sorry to ask: Have you sought help from outside? Besides asking questions here. A friend of mine has a similar situation to yours, but you seem to be more severe. Feeling tired and anxious without a reason, increasingly unable to control emotions, and easily giving up on work. By chance, they went to the psychology department, which is actually the psychiatry department. After examination, the doctor recommended medication, antidepressants. Having thoughts of self-harm, feeling suicidal, experiencing prolonged (more than two weeks) persistent low mood and lack of motivation for life, these are signs of depression. Perhaps you are aware, or unaware, but your mind and body may be reaching out for help. You may be surprised, even find it hard to believe, but these are normal feelings. One time, when I accompanied her for a follow-up visit, I was surprised to find that there were many people with similar situations. Fortunately, everyone knew to seek help and prioritize their mental health. Some people can adjust on their own, you can talk to trusted individuals more, take relevant courses on platforms, maintain a regular routine, and exercise more. But if it's already very difficult, feeling unable to do anything, you may just be ill, so seek help from outside. Don't be afraid, it will be difficult, even more painful at first, but we are always here, and you can find help anytime. Keep it up! There will always be someone who loves you in this world.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Through the screen, one can feel the helplessness and despair of the OP, but also sense the surging upward force in their heart: seeking help and changing themselves. This is a great start. Regarding the question you raised, it requires face-to-face communication with a mental health counselor. Go to the psychiatric department of a local tertiary hospital, listen to their advice, and inquire if medication plus counseling is an option.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13649
 },
 {
  "question": "The stress is greater than before, and I tend to overeat and binge late at night. How can I control this?",
  "description": "Recently, I always feel unsatisfied after eating. Even though I order the same amount of food as before, I always feel like eating more, even when I am already full. Especially when I work on my computer late at night, I always feel hungry and often grab snacks to eat. I saw online that excessive stress from studying and working can lead to anxiety, which can then cause binge eating. In recent months, I have been under a lot of pressure from studying and work, more than before. It's possible that it's because of the stress, as eating makes me feel happy, and maybe I unknowingly seek sensory pleasure through binge eating. Now I have gained a significant amount of weight and I dare not eat excessively anymore, but I still feel very hungry. Can you please advise me on what to do?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, control, and binge eating and fasting.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Title, hello, sending you a virtual hug~ After reading your description, it seems that you have been binge eating recently due to excessive stress. You don't want to do it, but you can't stop yourself. Constantly eating may be an attempt to fill the emptiness in your heart. I truly understand your struggle and sadness. Considering your statement, \"I saw online that high levels of stress from studying and work can lead to anxiety, which in turn can cause binge eating,\" this claim has some validity. Perhaps you need to find answers in your own real life. If you feel physically unwell, make sure to seek medical help and don't blindly rely on online diagnoses. After all, those can only represent common symptoms for most people and may not apply to our specific conditions. Based on your description, you have already gained a significant amount of weight, and although you are trying to control your food cravings, you still feel an undeniable hunger. I suggest you refer to a book called \"How to Break Bad Habits\" by a Japanese author named Takeshi Furukawa. His series on self-discipline is well-known internationally. This book aims to change bad habits from the standpoint of mindset and self-awareness. It also encourages readers to write down their bad habits and review them later on. Perhaps you can try various methods and find the most suitable approach for yourself.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3591
 },
 {
  "question": "What are the problems when a wife cannot tolerate her husband avoiding family issues?",
  "description": "My heart is filled with anger, and this anger will consume me. I cannot bear it. I try to talk to him about our marital problems, but he refuses to listen or discuss. When I try to talk about our son, he also avoids the topic. Not only does he avoid it, but he also behaves rudely. Speaking nicely doesn't work, so all my emotions are destroyed, and I am filled with anger, and I start blaming him, and the cycle of arguments begins. When you're in a bad mood and you're feeling distressed, even if you lie at home for a month, he could order takeout for you, but he still refuses to address the conflicts in your marriage. How can problems be solved if we don't talk? In a household, if a husband doesn't even allow his wife to speak, her heart feels repressed and full of complaints. Can we continue living like this? Where do the problems lie between this husband and wife?",
  "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, how are you? The main question here is about the interaction between two people, and communication is really important. Good communication is essential for the harmony of a family. The husband avoids family problems and is unwilling to communicate. The main question is simple, wanting to communicate with the husband and solve the problems as much as possible. But the husband always refuses to communicate and chooses silence and avoidance. Silence and avoidance are a form of psychological abuse, which can make one extremely irritable and feel like talking to a brick wall. Remember to approach every communication with a positive attitude. But in the end, one's emotions reach a climax and make one very angry. Is the husband naturally quiet and reserved, or does he find communication troublesome and prefers not to talk about things? Why does the husband refuse to communicate? Have there been any unresolved conflicts between the two? When two people cannot communicate well, they may need a third party to mediate. This person could be your child or your parents. Just like when two people argue, they need a mediator. This person needs to create an opportunity for you two to communicate privately. The situation you described is very similar to a recent television series I watched about a family. The show is called \"In the Name of the Family\" and has been quite popular lately. In the show, Moon's parents are too dominant, and the father always compromises and avoids problems. Eventually, the mother becomes the one making all the decisions, making the father feel oppressed, and they end up divorcing after Moon becomes an adult. Many people initially thought it was the mother's fault, even their daughter agreed. But later on, Moon pointed out that the father was at fault because he avoided problems. He found them troublesome and relied on the mother to make all the decisions, but the reason for the divorce was because the mother was too dominant. In the end, Moon points out the father's mistake, although the mother also had faults. But because the father avoided problems and evaded trouble, he enabled the current dominance of the mother. While you mentioned some reasons, our interaction with you is not as deep as with your family members. Perhaps your family members can point out the issues between you two and help you correct them promptly, or they can facilitate friendly communication between you and your husband. I hope you don't get too angry about this matter, after all, your health is important, so take care of yourself and find healthy ways to express your emotions.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hug, OP~ I believe there are many people who share the same troubles as you. It's maddening when one partner wants to communicate and the other avoids it! Why can't two people communicate properly? Especially when the wife feels it's necessary to talk, but the husband just doesn't want to. This fills the wife's heart with suppression and complaints. I want to ask, how long has this situation been going on? It's not just a day or two, right? There are so many books out there about communication between couples. This also shows that this problem exists universally. In the book \"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,\" it tells us that with the development of society, it is even more important to remember our differences, our different needs, and the different support we need. This is the first thing I want to tell you. You and your husband are completely different; never demand that your husband communicate with you according to your wishes! Because he is from Mars, and you are from Venus. There are significant physiological differences, so respect the differences between men and women. I personally highly recommend the \"11 Days of Love Communication\" training camp for you. Before, I didn't know that there was so much to learn about communication. Although everyone's problems are different, conflicts seem to be everywhere. Effective methods need to be learned and practiced! I'll share some of my experiences with you, hoping to open a window for you, so that you won't fall into the state of \"he doesn't listen to me\" anymore. I hope it will be helpful to you. The teacher said that conflict is a very intense and angry interaction between two people. The conflicting person really wants to express their own views. Conflict itself is negative feedback. Do you want to blame the other person and let them know how angry you are because they have done many things wrong? Under pressure, do you easily get angry about other things? In fact, it seems that you want your husband to know how inadequate his actions are and how much they have hurt you. But he is easily avoidant and refuses to communicate as a result. When you may just want to express your own pain, he feels like you are blaming him, and in communication, he feels even more invaded, so he refuses to communicate more because of self-protection. Because it feels like your normal communication has been severed. Normal communication should be able to be expressed and accepted in a gentle way. I remind you that when you are trapped in your own emotions, it is difficult to empathize with the other person's feelings. There is a causal loop in communication. His experience may be: when you already have this view of me, it doesn't matter what I say. You can try to pay attention to yourself: does he feel negated by me? Does he feel it's difficult to communicate with me when I'm in an emotional state? What are the reasons for his lack of response? Take a moment to think about these questions. The course talked about an important process in communication: Step 1, how to listen. What did you hear? Or what did you feel? Step 2 is how to analyze and understand. Step 3 is how to organize. Step 4 is how to speak. I just learned about these four steps, and I feel the benefits are profound. I used to rush to express my own opinions and always use phrases like \"but\" or \"what are you doing? Why don't you ...\" which don't sound comfortable to the other person. Sometimes, what matters most is not what you say, but what he receives. After saying so much, I also know that you want to find a solution. At this stage, my advice is for you to speak less, listen more, and then learn some specific methods. I believe you will have a harmonious and harmonious relationship with your spouse. Don't rush to change him, what you can do is change yourself! Wish you all the best!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I seem to see that in such a family, you have been pursuing and the other person has been evading. So, if you stop pursuing, will they stop? If you stop pursuing and start trying to make changes to yourself, will they turn around to look at you? If you let the love in this family flow through self-improvement, do you think they will come closer to you? I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I know that you definitely weren't like this before, so what happened to lead to the current situation? For now, let go of the idea of improving your relationship and ask yourself, if your husband responds, what do you want to say? Do you want to tell them what changes you intend to make, or do you want to tell them what changes they should make? Frankly speaking, if the relationship you're talking about is about wanting the other person to change, the outcome will be as you see it, and your anger will only grow each day because you feel that today's situation is entirely their fault, and you have tried and made efforts, but it's all because they don't respond that it has led to today's situation. If the relationship you're talking about is about making changes yourself, then actually you don't need to say anything, you can attract their attention through your actions. When you're angry, I don't know if what I'm saying will make you even angrier, you may think that I'm being insensitive while standing and speaking, can't an oppressed wife speak at home? Of course, you can say everything you want to say, but if the result is not what you want, do you decide to continue speaking or adjust? Ask yourself the initial intention, at any time, don't let others turn you into a resentful woman, there are other outlets for emotions, you can go elsewhere to find them, of course it's best to find a professional because non-professionals mostly just listen or even stir up trouble, making you even angrier. What do you think? Problems always need to be solved, especially for a woman, if she feels too oppressed in her marriage, her body is prone to symptoms. If two people can face it together, of course, it's perfect, but if you have to face it alone, then try facing it alone, once you have clarity, you will know whether this marriage can be saved or at least it doesn't need to be so painful.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Seeing words as if seeing each other face to face~ From the description, it seems that I can feel the depression and anger in the author's heart through the screen. The current state of the marriage seems to be tense. The author might consider: 1. When did the husband start avoiding? Was it like this from the beginning of the marriage, or did something happen? 2. The author mentioned that they tried to talk to him and discuss the issues in the marriage, but he doesn't listen or talk. Has the author tried to understand the reasons why he doesn't want to talk? Why is there a reluctance to communicate? 3. Have you sincerely expressed your anger, depression, and grievances to him in a calm manner? 4. Besides blaming and arguing, are there other ways? To solve the problems, it may be necessary to identify the obstacles to communication. When the obstacles are removed and communication flows smoothly, the problems can be better resolved~.",
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 },
 {
  "question": "Severe internal conflict can be alleviated through social interaction, desiring a confidant but excluding socializing?",
  "description": "I feel quite contradictory because, in general, I am a quiet and introverted person, but at the same time, I am also lively, outgoing, and a bit talkative. Due to constantly reflecting on myself, my mood is always relatively low, and at its worst, it makes me feel like a walking corpse burned by fire. When I confide in people around me, I find that they can't understand me at all, but I know they are trying their best, after all, my troubles are not ordinary worries. I've found that going out and interacting with different people can alleviate my emotional storms. But fundamentally, I am reluctant to socialize unless there is a specific reason. I usually prefer to go out alone. Socializing depletes my energy, and because I tend to overthink, I have deep thoughts about things, which means when chatting with others, they can't keep up with my topics, and I don't feel like talking. I yearn for someone who can understand me and talk about these issues with me, but in reality, there is no such person. And when it comes to socializing, I'm always serious and don't want to waste time on superficial interactions, although sometimes it can be helpful when my emotions explode. How can I reduce internal conflicts, stop overthinking, and how can I deal with the spiritual hysteria when my emotions explode? How can I lighten the burden in social interactions?",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Your situation is actually very common in our daily life. You are a very gentle person. When you talk about a topic that others can't keep up with, you don't want to talk anymore. It seems like you give off a cold and contemptuous vibe, but that's not the case. It's actually because you're worried that if you argue with them, you might hurt them. But when you talk about a topic that others can't keep up with, it actually proves from a certain point of view that they are inferior to you. And this kind of comparison is a form of harm. In real life, if someone says to me, \"I'm better than you,\" how would I feel? What makes you think you're better than me? I want to prove that I'm even better than them, that I'm superior to them. At least I want to prove that they didn't make me inferior. So how do I prove that I'm better than the other person, or how do I prove that they are not as good as me? Generally, I would compare my strengths to their weaknesses. But in this process of comparison, it's unavoidable to harm the other person. Similarly, when someone tells us they are better than us, why do we feel angry? Because we have been hurt by them. Comparisons always lead to harm. They always prove that one person is right, one person is wrong, one is better than the other. Regardless of the outcome, one side will be hurt. We don't want to harm others, so when we have disagreements with others, we choose not to speak up. We choose to suppress our own thoughts. But this kind of thought is the essence of charm. It's what attracts others to us. Here, what I want to tell everyone is that as long as you unleash your charm, you will inevitably hurt others. You will hurt those who don't have the same charm as you. So when we often demonstrate our charm and hurt others, we feel a great sense of guilt. This guilt makes us feel powerless. Why do we feel powerless? Because when we unleash our charm, we will harm others, but unleashing charm itself is not wrong. So we often don't know where we have offended the other person. But they are angry, so upset, and hurt by us. Let me give a simple example. There is a girl with a very good figure, dressed very fashionably and sexy. She attracts the attention of men and is full of charm. Now, a very conservative girl, dressed very plainly and old-fashioned, often attacks the trendy and sexy girl. Is this very common in our real life? Why does the other person become so aggressive? Because you have hurt them. You fully show your charm, and they feel oppressed by their own lack of charm. They feel envy and jealousy. It is precisely because of this envy and jealousy that they have a strong attack on the other person, because it forms a sharp contrast. Why can they unleash their charm like this, but I can't? Similarly, we often do the same thing. Why can the other person express their thoughts and opinions in a carefree way, while we can't? And then we will attack them. I disdain arguing with them, their level is not enough. But the truth is, I really envy them, even if they say these unproductive things. We don't envy the unproductive things they say, we envy their ability to ultimately unleash their charm, the feeling of freedom. When we have this kind of envy, this kind of feeling, we don't need to suppress it. Envy is envy, jealousy is jealousy. Suppressing it doesn't change the situation. The best thing we can do is to unleash our own charm in our own way. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone's charm is different. So when we face this feeling, the best way is to show our charm to the other person. If someone is handsome, please fully showcase your handsomeness. If someone is talented, let them showcase their talent. But when we show this side, we have to bear the envy, jealousy, and hatred from others. We have to bear the harm we bring to others, such as saying that a handsome person is just a pretty boy, or a talented person is just flashy. Is there anything else? So when we unleash our charm, we have to bear the responsibility we need to bear. We have to bear the envy, jealousy, and hatred from others. There's no way to escape this. Actually, most people who don't have social anxiety are also very charming, but it is precisely because of this charm that they are hurt. But remember, what hurts you is not the strength of others, but their weakness. You shouldn't be hurt like this.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. When humans think, God laughs. * Do more, think less, for a healthier direction. * Only do, without thinking, leads to confusion. * Think while doing, leads to a clear future. * Only think, without doing, is a waste of everything. * Neither think nor do, leads to gradual decline. You can see which category you belong to by following these steps. 2. How to deal with the mental hysteria caused by emotional explosions? Learn to nip the problem in the bud. When people do not engage in activities, they tend to think negatively. This can quickly lead to depression, anxiety, and suffering. So how do you stop this state? Start by engaging in activities. When you find yourself starting to think negatively, take action. As you start doing things, the negative thoughts will fade away, and you will become happier. 3. How to reduce the weight of social interactions? Avoid deliberately seeking social connections. Don't approach social interactions with a strong purpose or ulterior motives, as this represents utilitarianism. When you are too focused on personal gain, it naturally feels burdensome. Be more casual; do what you want and don't do what you don't want. As long as you don't harm others, social interactions won't weigh you down. Thank you for your question, may all the goodness in the world come to you as expected.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Actually, it is normal for different people to have different behaviors in social situations, which is why some people are introverted and others are extroverted. Regardless of which social style, it's important to find what suits you and achieve \"self-consistency\". However, based on your description, it seems difficult for you to find a comfortable way in interpersonal relationships. You may avoid socializing but still crave care and attention. So, it seems that you lack \"social support\". Social support can come from friends or family, from acquaintances or casual acquaintances. In fact, many social interactions and social support are resources that quietly surround us. Sometimes you may think they are not there, but in fact, they need to be \"seen\". Besides social interactions, you can also become a pillar of support for yourself. You mentioned having many thoughts in your mind and experiencing significant internal conflict. However, the internal conflict is your own perception of those thoughts. If you let those thoughts be, and just calmly accept them, it may reduce a lot of internal conflict. I recommend trying the practice of \"mindfulness\". After training for a period of time, it can significantly regulate your emotional state and improve your psychological well-being. I hope this can help you.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, good evening. I'm not sure how old you are, so it's hard to give you specific advice. I'll just share my suggestions. 1. Work or study hard! If you're already working, do a good job and don't stop thinking. Take on a second job or think about how you can earn money faster, more effectively, and more easily within legal limits. Use your work as an opportunity to improve yourself, practice, enhance your communication skills, and learn many things. 2. Read more! Whether you're working or still in school, take the time to read. Take notes and make excerpts while reading, and after finishing a book, write your thoughts on it. Share your ideas, whether in writing or orally. 3. Exercise more. Exercise can make us stronger, happier, and clearer in our thoughts. 4. In the process, you're more likely to meet like-minded friends and solve social problems. Let go of your self-doubt, relax... and I wish you a good night's sleep.",
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  "questionID": 12070
 },
 {
  "question": "In the past few months, why do I want to commit suicide and can't help but cry at night?",
  "description": "A girl often comes to my seat over a small matter and insults me with a group of other girls using very offensive language. Every time, I don't know what to do, so I lower my head, hold back my tears. I have no way out. As time went on, they became increasingly unbearable, using even more derogatory words to insult me. They even got a few people to post on the internet to insult me, and the post received nearly 1000 views. However, everyone just stood by and watched. No one stood up for me. Since then, I have felt different.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! From your message, I gather that you are probably a student who is experiencing verbal abuse and bullying at school due to some minor issues. I feel sorry for you and give you a hug. Here are some suggestions for you: 1. Keeping silent is not a solution to the problem. It will only make the bullies more arrogant. Be brave and inform your teachers and parents, so that the school can intervene and protect you. 2. Internet users are mere spectators and they don't understand the situation or empathize with you. So, don't rely on online friends. Seek help from people around you or find ways to solve the problem yourself. 3. In the future, you should focus on psychological adjustment. You can talk to the school psychologist about how to improve your social skills and protect yourself better once the issue is resolved. I hope this advice can help you. Take care! The world loves you.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 545
 },
 {
  "question": "High school, when encountering a girl who piqued my interest, I hesitated, should I pursue her or not?",
  "description": "In high school, I met a girl who is better than me in many ways, and I have developed a slight crush on her. She took the initiative to add me and play games together, and she even secretly checked my information on my QQ space (there are browsing records). I am not sure if she has the same feelings towards me. We don't know each other very well, so I wonder if this is just a youthful impulse. Should I pursue her?",
  "keywords": "Love, affection",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP, high school is the most beautiful and youthful time for each of us. If you truly like someone, be brave and speak up! Youth is full of passion and courage, so if you love someone, pursue them with determination! However, during this pursuit, I have a few suggestions for you: (1) If you decide to pursue someone, please treat them seriously. I hope your love is sincere and not just a momentary impulse. At least in high school, I hope you can be a devoted and genuine boy. (2) If the girl agrees, treat her well. If she doesn't, please bless her and move on. You can be sad for three days, but not more. After all, you are still in high school, and I hope both of you can focus more on studying. (3) Youth is a time when hormones are raging. I hope your love can be based on true feelings and limited by proper conduct. You are still young, and you can learn and engage in some discreet sexual behaviors, but don't go beyond boundaries. Don't let love become a blade that hurts the other person, as you are both still underage. These are the suggestions I give you as an older sister, and I hope they are helpful to you! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 15561
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do people become less willing to make friends as they grow older?",
  "description": "As individuals grow older, what causes them to be unwilling to make new friends?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Here are my thoughts on your mention of growing up and not wanting to make friends. 1. Unwillingness to leave one's comfort zone. As we grow older, our life patterns become more fixed, and we gradually become accustomed to a more comfortable way of socializing. We become passive in accepting new friends but find it difficult to actively make new connections. Being in a familiar environment every day and dealing with familiar people and things makes us feel safe, but it also cuts off the possibility of meeting new friends. 2. The development and improvement of social networking platforms have virtually satisfied most of our social needs. Nowadays, with just a mobile app, we can chat and communicate with many people. These interactions include sharing common interests, arguing and debating different viewpoints, and even emotional exchanges... almost all of which can be done anonymously through a phone, reducing the need to meet new friends. 3. Past experiences of being hurt lead to self-protection. For example, those who have experienced betrayal or manipulation by friends will be afraid of being hurt again. As a result, they protect themselves and find it difficult to open up to others and accept new friends. 4. The threshold for making friends has become higher. As we grow and mature, we start to choose what kind of friends to make, or rather, we start to consider whether a person is worth making friends with. Our minds subconsciously become information processors, constantly calculating gains and losses. If there are obvious benefits, we will do it; if it is unknown and requires a certain cost, we won't do it.",
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  "questionID": 9823
 },
 {
  "question": "I am a junior government officer in the system, and I feel very hypocritical. How can I adjust myself?",
  "description": "Hello, everyone. I am a social science graduate from a 211 university majoring in sociology. I work as a junior civil servant within the system and consider myself someone who pays attention to society. I have my own anger towards power politics and often criticize them. I admire scholars who advocate for freedom, but I have always had doubts about intellectuals within the system. Although they also criticize and have their own stance and integrity, they are often unable to openly express their anger due to environmental reasons. However, since joining the system last year, I have gained a deeper understanding of some of its operational mechanisms. As a result, I have always felt hypocritical, unable to fully agree with many things, unable to distance myself, and even unable to complain as freely as before. This issue has been greatly troubling to me and seriously affects my sense of self-identity. How can I adjust myself?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I understand your feelings very well. The environment within the system has its own characteristics and many limitations, so you often cannot speak freely and show your true self. Therefore, you may feel hypocritical, suppressed, and frustrated. Let's try to look at and understand all of this from a positive perspective. As social beings, we cannot separate ourselves from the social environment. The social environment consists of various subsystems with different characteristics and styles. Different people choose to work and live in different systems, so they have to accept and adapt to the characteristics and rules of that system. Unlike the business market with high degrees of freedom, this system within the system has a great impact because it involves political power and complex interpersonal relationships. Therefore, we have many limitations and concerns in our words and actions, we need to be cautious and not easily cross the line, otherwise it may disrupt the system and make it difficult for ourselves to survive. Maybe we can't say this is a display of hypocrisy, but rather a way of conforming and adapting. From an individual's perspective, we exist in society and have different \"social roles\" to adapt to different environments and interpersonal relationships. For example, when we work in a company, our role is an employee; when working in the government, our role is a clerk; when studying in school, our role is a student; in the family, our role is a child; when with a partner, our role is their lover... Different social roles require different ways of thinking and behaving to adapt and interact harmoniously with different environments and people. This is a way for individuals to differentiate themselves and adapt to the environment, rather than being hypocritical or suppressing themselves. Different social roles form a complete self. Therefore, you need to understand and accept the objective existence and characteristics of the environment, understand the behavior of others, and accept the existence of your different social roles. You can disagree with others' opinions, you can maintain your own thoughts, but in the way of interpersonal communication and expression, you can be flexible and show some reservation. This is not hypocrisy, but a way of interpersonal communication. In simple terms, it means saying the appropriate things when meeting different people in different situations. This is a skill and ability. Speaking freely does not mean disregarding everything around you and saying whatever you want, even in a general company, there cannot be complete freedom, it also has its own limitations and concerns. You are worried that being unable to speak freely will affect your sense of self-identity, but in fact, self-identity can be obtained not only through this way of expressing oneself freely. While taking your work seriously and completing tasks, gaining recognition from your superiors, and gaining self-confidence and a sense of achievement can also be a way of self-identity. Considering environmental factors, taking other people's feelings into account, speaking appropriately, and being accepted and liked by others can also lead to self-identity. By stepping out of the system's environment, you can develop your own interests and strengths outside of work, which is also a way of self-identity. Getting along harmoniously with family or friends and being loved by them can also lead to self-identity. Writing your unsaid thoughts and opinions as articles (not ranting or speaking ill of others), and publishing them in external media to gain readers' appreciation is also a way of self-identity. There are many ways and channels to improve self-identity, we don't need to be limited by obstacles and limitations in one aspect, otherwise, we are self-limiting and self-suggesting. When you look at everything in a negative attitude, your dissatisfaction and resistance towards it will only increase, and you will become more and more resentful, which will only intensify your discomfort, contradictions, and anger, and it is not conducive to the progress of work and personal growth. Change your focus, adjust your cognition, seek understanding and acceptance, maybe you will change your thoughts about all of this, and make yourself less stifled, suppressed, and uncomfortable. Maybe you can also discover the positive significance and enjoyment of work, and gain a sense of accomplishment and self-identity from your work. Keep it up!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Actually, the root cause of this pain lies in the opposition between the two \"systems\" within our hearts. The ideals of the \"ideal system\" emphasize the melancholy of the existing system even more. The more we yearn for the former, the more we cannot tolerate the latter. At this point, we need to reflect on whether what we believe in is truly what it appears to be. In other words, we need to avoid building our thinking on a sandcastle. We need to constantly raise questions to get closer to the source. We should first determine the existence of the \"ideal system.\" We can ask questions such as: 1. Does it exist? 2. What is it like? What should it be like? What is it actually like? 3. Do I truly understand it? Have I observed it firsthand, rather than just hearsay? 4. Do those who advocate it truly understand it and participate in it, or are they merely distant observers using their imaginations to depict it? 5. Have I personally verified the statements of the aforementioned people? When we can provide clear answers to these questions, we will naturally gain some understanding of the root cause of our pain. As humans, we have a tendency to be unable to see things too close to us, such as ourselves and our immediate environment, but we can easily see things in the distance, such as other people and other places. This characteristic brings us a lot of troubles.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Follow the guidance of the subconscious mind: if expressing yourself makes you uncomfortable, then you should not express yourself. It may be due to the environment or the inappropriate content of your expression. However, do not blame yourself too much. Accept yourself and others. You have your own thoughts, and others have their own as well. Accepting the differences between individuals is also a survival strategy for this moment. Keeping your opinions to yourself is also a valid choice.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 18445
 },
 {
  "question": "Divorced, criticized since childhood, now extremely sensitive and insecure, what should I do?",
  "description": "I feel very insecure and hope to be encouraged, but whenever people see my problems, they always criticize me. I know they mean well, but why can't they say it nicely? I am already feeling very upset and sensitive. In middle and high school, I didn't care about being criticized or insulted. I thought that once I had a good life, I wouldn't have to endure all of this anymore. I have a strong sense of self-esteem, but after entering college, various psychological problems have surfaced. Whenever someone criticizes me, I feel especially uncomfortable and worthless. I feel like nobody likes or loves me, and that I am just a burden to others. I feel like my existence is only to wander around. How can I make my inner self stronger? It is very difficult, and it feels like a thorn is stuck inside my heart, causing a lot of pain.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, and empathetic listening.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Hearing your story, it felt like seeing a reflection of my past self. I, too, grew up in a critical environment where my parents never praised me, no matter if I ranked first in class or won writing awards. They would only tell me not to be proud. Because of this, I developed low self-esteem, became overly concerned about others' opinions of me, and engaged in people-pleasing behaviors. I felt like a bruised apple, unseen and unappreciated. So, I understand the sadness within your heart! Sending you a big hug! However, I consider myself lucky because by chance, I chose to study psychology when I was applying for university. Through my study of psychology, I came to understand the impact of our upbringing on our personal growth. In my professional learning, I continuously explored myself, searching for my most authentic self. It made me realize that each person is an independent individual with their own inherent value. Our worth is never diminished by others' opinions. We need to have a stable and objective self-awareness. So, I would like to offer you the following advice: (1) Engage in self-exploration and have a dialogue with your inner child to discover your true self. Insecurity and caring too much about others' opinions often stem from a lack of self-understanding. Underestimating our own value and ignoring our truest thoughts. Being seen as \"having high self-esteem\" by others is actually a typical manifestation of low self-esteem. Therefore, having an objective understanding of oneself is the first step in solving insecurities. (2) Accept yourself and give positive affirmations and encouragement. In life, we often seek validation from others to confirm and display our value. However, the most confidence we can have comes from self-encouragement. This encouragement is not about blind confidence and arrogance but rather inner humility and restraint. Only when we acknowledge ourselves will we be willing to believe that others also acknowledge us. When we don't trust ourselves, we wear glasses of insecurity, easily subconsciously negating our own worth. Therefore, learn to give yourself positive affirmations and encouragement. (3) Try to find and persist in doing things you enjoy or excel at. Although we are independent individuals, we cannot completely detach ourselves from society and our environment. We can establish connections with the outside world by engaging in activities we enjoy or excel at, releasing our inner child in happiness and freedom. Instead of solely focusing on individual worth, concentrate on the activity itself. These are my analysis and suggestions, hoping they can be helpful to you. Take care!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The questioner must be a child who has been hurt in their childhood. The divorce of parents and the scolding they received from childhood may have left a shadow in their hearts. Perhaps deep down, they hope to receive the care of others, so they want to be encouraged by others, combined with the family situation, there may be a lack of love. In my opinion, the need for encouragement from others may be a desire for redemption. Because the opposite of encouragement is criticism, suppression, and belittlement. Encouragement is important for a person because it can motivate us and stimulate our abilities in our hobbies and interests. But do not be sad because of this. The first thing you need to do is to clarify your thoughts and communicate with your own heart. This can be done through writing, keeping a diary to understand and discover yourself. When writing, there is no need to use expressions that embellish yourself, face yourself and your thoughts truthfully and openly. Use your everyday language to record these, and when you look back, you will often find certain words or the frequent occurrence of the word \"I\". Analyze the meanings of these words on Baidu, perhaps it can help you understand yourself now. Write down what you have always been thinking and what you are currently thinking. Or you can try to recall your experiences from childhood to the present, patiently and truly engage in a recollection. After writing, take a look and you may discover something new and different. Because I think, sometimes what we experience in our life and what we are about to experience are just a kind of practice on our journey. You have such an experience and feel troubled because you need to solve this problem, it will definitely teach you and give you something. Always believe that these are just hopes to allow you to transform and become a better version of yourself. You need the encouragement of others, and when people see your problems, they always criticize you. You should think back, is it possible that these problems need you to correct them? You know they are for your own good, but why can't they express it nicely? Since they are for your own good, why can't they say it nicely? Every person has their own suffering, before that, you don't know what they have experienced. You can think more clearly about these small issues. You can also think more about similar issues when writing. Self-esteem, inferiority, and vanity are all connected. When self-esteem is too strong, it can lead to inferiority in certain things. And inferiority, sometimes it triggers self-esteem. Vanity is a way to compensate for self-esteem. The questioner may have been criticized since childhood, resulting in a lack of confidence. In college, they feel uncomfortable when criticized because the scolding they received since childhood has left a shadow in their hearts. They have been subjected to prolonged blame without understanding and discovering the true potential behind these voices. Therefore, they think they are useless. But is that really the case? Also, we don't need the affirmation and comments from the outside to define ourselves, we are independent individuals! We have our own thoughts and consciousness. What we should do now is to calm down and understand and heal our true selves. Discover and find our own nature. Learn to be tolerant, love and cherish ourselves. Because, it seems that in this world, we are more important to ourselves, love, tolerate, respect, cherish, and understand ourselves. When we completely reconcile with ourselves, we will treat others in the same way. Therefore, it is crucial to love and understand yourself. Find and be true to yourself! You can deeply feel that there are really no people who love and like you in this world. The meaning of a strong inner self: it refers to a person's inner strength, a psychological quality of a person, but also refers to a person's broad-mindedness and a kind of potential, full of hope for the future, and clear goals in life. It also refers to the difference between a person's inner thoughts and external appearance. It means that regardless of being rejected by many people on the outside, they will not be affected by changes in the external environment; their inner self will still adhere to their own views. If we want our inner selves to become strong, we must first find our own beliefs! Belief is the key to our life! It will prevent us from going astray and guide us to grow and progress in our hearts. With its presence, we can maintain our kindness and gentleness in our hearts. And then, a firm belief is equally essential. What kind of person do I want to become? This is the prototype of belief, and the questioner needs to seriously consider these two things. The thorns in your heart cannot be removed, maybe because this issue has been bothering you for a long time and has not been resolved. I believe you must be a kind person. You know that when others scold you, it is for your own good, and you feel that no one likes or loves you, thinking that you are a burden. It may not be easy to become confident, but you can also gradually regain confidence by genuinely helping others in small ways. By giving kindness to others, this energy will be transformed into your own, and you will slowly regain self-confidence. There are also many ways to free yourself from inferiority. Try to be a little kinder to yourself every day, even better. Please understand deeply that inferiority really has a big impact on our growth and development. Maybe you need a breakthrough and reconciliation! Maybe there is something you want to achieve or need to accomplish, waiting for you to overcome your inferiority and do it. Keep going! Every person has unlimited potential, and so do you. Become a little sun that shines for yourself and others. Be the one who protects others! Your guardian spirit has always been there!",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16051
 },
 {
  "question": "Moderate depression, severe anxiety, how to deal with an unreasonable mother?",
  "description": "Every time I express my own opinion which is different from my mother's, she would scold and argue with me. There are frequent disputes in our household, and it feels suffocating staying at home. It is currently summer vacation, and my mother is completely unreasonable. She is from a rural area and only has a primary school education. She often loses her temper and uses filial piety to suppress me.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent-child communication.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Thank you for inviting the host, hello, regarding the issue you raised, as long as it is not in line with my mother's views, she will scold and argue with people. There are often conflicts at home, and it feels suffocating to stay at home. I am currently on summer vacation. My mother is completely unreasonable. She is from the countryside and only has a primary school education. She often loses her temper and uses filial piety to suppress me. Before answering your question, I need you to answer the following questions: 1. Do I really want my mother to understand me? 2. What will I do if my mother continues to misunderstand me, have different opinions, frequently lose her temper, or use filial piety to suppress me? 3. Do I have friends who can understand me? I believe that after you answer these questions, the situation will become much clearer. Everyone hopes to be understood. From your description, I can see that you really hope your mother can understand you, stop losing her temper, and stop using filial piety to suppress you. However, in reality, it is difficult to control this matter. But I believe your mother must love you, although she might not understand you. However, I also believe that you will have other friends who can understand you. Build a better relationship with them. Try to spend more time with like-minded friends and chat with them! Perhaps your mother finds it difficult to understand you in many aspects due to different times and educational levels. She may also have a quick temper and often scolds people when she can't win an argument, using filial piety to suppress you. But I believe she definitely loves you. However, due to generation gap and educational level, your mother may not be someone who can understand you. I suggest trying to spend more time with friends! This is my answer, I hope it can help you! Ending.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear. You mentioned that you are currently experiencing depression and anxiety, and your mother often argues with you, not giving you the care and understanding you hoped for. *Hugs to you* Would you consider seeking treatment at a psychiatric clinic and follow the doctor's advice by actively receiving treatment? Following the doctor's advice, taking medication on time, and attending regular check-ups can help stabilize your mood and are essential for recovery. You mentioned that whenever you express your opinion, it leads to arguments with your mother. If temporarily changing your mother's attitude is difficult, can you try keeping your own opinions to yourself in situations where it is possible to avoid conflicts? As for feeling a bit bored during the summer break at home, can you try going out more to relax and breathe some fresh air? Additionally, do you have any hobbies or interests? Trying to engage in activities you enjoy can help you relax. You can also chat with friends more often to alleviate stress and gain their support. These are just a few suggestions I have. I hope they can be helpful to you. Best wishes!",
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  ],
  "questionID": 17443
 },
 {
  "question": "I really want to put in effort, but I am really tired. What should I do?",
  "description": "I feel like I'm trying so hard, and I am putting in effort, but I am really exhausted. I can't let go because it feels like there's a bottomless abyss ahead of me. I'm just hanging on to the last straw on the edge of a cliff, one careful step away from being pulled down into the darkness below with no chance of return. No one understands the sadness of falling from the pedestal, and all I face are endless responsibilities. I'm really tired, so tired. Every time I try to relax, I am reminded of my duties. I really wish I could be alone, truly feeling like I'm on my own.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, student development.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello. It's not the last straw that breaks the camel's back, but all the straws on its back. When you blame yourself and are criticized by others again and again, you are putting another straw on your own back. From your description, I can sense that you are carrying a huge amount of pressure and burden in your studies. These things make it difficult for you to breathe, and you dare not rest or stop because the cost is too high. Perhaps you are also waiting for a moment when you can let go or collapse. Where do these pressures and burdens come from? Are they from the expectations of your parents from childhood? Do you have strict expectations of yourself? Are you afraid of your grades dropping and being mocked and ridiculed by classmates? Will they really do that, or is it your perception that they will? When you relax, and they criticize you, how do you feel? What actions do you take to face the criticism? Do you think that you have the power to solve the problems that currently plague you in your studies? Take a rest. When you carry a weary body and a lonely soul forward alone, the people around you not only fail to cheer you on and encourage you, but also blame and curse you for taking a rest. Do they truly love you? Or do they love the version of you that performs well and receives praise? They should see that you are very tired. You need to rest and adjust, rather than continuing to compete for something. You can try to communicate and have a serious conversation with the people who make you feel pressured about your current state, expressing your feelings and needs, and fighting for your freedom and the right to grow at your own pace. You are already great. You have made a lot of effort and obediently followed the advice of the adults, but you also need to boldly express your inner thoughts to them. You cannot be forced or exhausted to death. When you exert yourself now, there will be more in the future. Why can't they let you rest for a while? Even if others surpass you, so what? Isn't your happiness and health the most important? They may want you to become the cream of the crop, but they need to respect your own ideals and speed. If you don't want to climb to the top, if you are tired, if you simply don't care about being one of the few at the top, you must firmly convey your thoughts and strive for your freedom. Express your expectations and hope that they can let go and allow you to work hard to achieve what you want, and at your own pace, rather than what they want you to achieve. That is not love; it is a shackle. Best wishes.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16702
 },
 {
  "question": "I want to know who I really am, what I like, and what my dreams are.",
  "description": "I am 15 years old this year and I am studying at a vocational teacher training school. I don't know what major I like, I don't know where to start, and I don't know where to go. I feel lost, I try my best, although sometimes I can't avoid being lazy. I want to break through myself, but I don't know where to start. Sometimes I am full of passion for studying, but it quickly cools down.",
  "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, student development, meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Haha, when I was 15, I was also troubled by this issue. This issue, you see, is a process of understanding oneself. After understanding oneself, it is up to oneself to decide what aspects need improvement, what aspects need repair, and what aspects need enhancement. During that time, I observed myself more, and engaged in various activities to better understand myself based on the feedback I received. For example, reading, relationships, family, all these little things in life are ways for us to understand ourselves. We should also not ignore our thoughts and ideas, perhaps these are our true voices? And as I gradually understood myself, I was able to gradually adjust my mindset and learn some psychological and physiological patterns. In fact, I gradually gained control over myself. I realized that there are only a few fields in the world that I need to understand, and there are certain experiences and paths that everyone must go through in their development. So I gradually became clear about my direction. As for preferences, I also recorded my thoughts and tried to experience and comprehend them in various situations. I discovered that some preferences are just desires, and some preferences are a result of inner deficiencies. I also gradually understood that some preferences should be kept in my heart, and some preferences should be let go gradually. hoping it helps you.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You are studying at a vocational college, so it seems that you started studying early, right? Was it also your parents' decision for you to study this major, not your own choice? So, you may feel confused about not knowing what major you like or which direction to strive for. But you have always been trying your best, wanting to push yourself beyond the limits. This shows that you are a diligent and ambitious child. Who am I? Where do I come from? Where should I go? - These are the most important questions we humans have about life, and it is a lifelong pursuit. I'm glad that you are now beginning to realize and contemplate these questions that are related to the meaning of life. You are now 15 years old, at the stage of starting to understand the world, exploring life, and seeking self-identity. Feeling lost is normal, as it shows that you are contemplating life and seeking change. This is an opportunity for growth. I'm not sure if after this period of studying, you have developed an interest in the major you are currently studying or if you intend to continue developing in this field. Regardless, since you are already studying it, then focus on learning this major well because early childhood education is a promising career path. In addition, you can use your spare time to read more books, explore different professions, understand knowledge from different subjects, and discover the professional fields and directions that interest you. Then gradually pursue in-depth study and experimentation. The present society needs versatile talents, people who possess knowledge in multiple areas and can cross boundaries. At the same time, \"slash youth\" is very popular now, which means a person has multiple skills and can work in different fields. So, it is advantageous to learn more knowledge and acquire more skills while you are young and energetic. When you have been exposed to and understand more things, your horizons will broaden, and you can find the direction you want to develop in, clarify your own value and social position, establish your life goals, and no longer feel confused. With clear goals, you will have the motivation to strive, and a stronger willpower to push yourself in learning. When your knowledge and abilities reach a certain level, you will be able to surpass yourself. This is a process of continuous development. You can also talk to your parents, teachers, and others for guidance and advice. Additionally, you can find a few successful individuals who match your vision of a successful person from your surroundings or society to serve as your \"life mentors\" and learn from their growth experiences. Life is a book that needs to be constantly explored. We all need to keep reading, trying, and moving forward. Stay resilient!",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's a common state that many people experience. It's great to see that at such a young age, you have this kind of introspection. Firstly, regarding the issue of not knowing your preferences, I suggest you take advantage of your youth and try different things. You can start with your hobbies and see what you really enjoy - music, dancing, singing, reading, writing, watching movies, swimming, running, boxing, or anything that interests you at a given moment. Find your passion. Bai Yansong once said that he wouldn't be friends with someone who doesn't have any interests or hobbies. That shows you just how important it is to cultivate your own hobbies and interests. Start with your interests, expand your social circle, and pay attention to how you interact with others. By observing yourself, you can gain a better understanding of who you truly are - your temperament, your criteria for choosing friends, your language expression ability, your social skills, your ability to handle things, and your fears, excitability, and timidity in different situations. All of these are a part of you. Becoming an early childhood education teacher is also a major career choice. You may feel confused about your choice when you haven't explored other careers. I suggest you take on part-time jobs during your school years to gain exposure to different aspects of society and different environments. Of course, it will require you to pay close attention and reflect on the process. I believe that in the near future, you will come to understand your true inner needs.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16623
 },
 {
  "question": "Child, when will you grow up?",
  "description": "Today, the two sisters came to my house to play. I had agreed with them to eat lunch at school and have dinner when they come back. But, when I prepared dinner and placed it at home, they came back and didn't eat. They just sat there reading for an hour. When I realized that they hadn't eaten dinner and it was almost time for them to go to school, I was really about to explode! When I reminded them to hurry up and go to class, they simply refused to eat and went straight to school, saying \"screw you!\" I was so furious with them!",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, student growth, child development",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. Adults always feel both angry and amused when facing children. It's irritating when children don't listen to you, don't do things the way you say, and change their minds after agreeing with you. They just do whatever they want, right? Actually, children have their own thoughts. People go through three stages of rebellion: the first stage is at two or three years old, the second stage I can't remember how old, and then the third stage is around 15 or 16 years old. So he's probably in the second stage, and it's normal for children to go through rebellious periods. Based on your description, I don't think he's being rebellious. He's not intentionally going against you, maybe it's just a habit or he forgot that he promised you something and then remembered it later and did it. However, from what you've described, I think this child is quite well-behaved and good. He has some worthy of praise, at least he loves reading books. I remember when I was young, a relative was praising his child, saying how good he was. He joked and said he wasn't good, but actually he was praising him. He said that his child loves studying and doing homework, and he must finish his homework before he eats. If he doesn't finish his homework, he won't eat. Maybe because of the comparison, my mom discussed with him and said I only do homework after eating, and she thought I was not interested in studying and lazy, only thinking about eating. So comparing them, I feel like they are excellent and I am a bit behind. But it doesn't matter, as long as I finish my homework, when to get up and when to eat doesn't matter. This is a very studious child, and this is his shining point. You need to be good at discovering it. It seems like he just doesn't like to eat, doesn't eat according to what you say, and that's why you got angry. But I think as a parent, you can check with his school and try to think for yourself, why does the child have to do what you say? You can have a discussion or make an agreement with the child, for example, don't say that he can only eat after finishing something. If he agrees, then you can reach an agreement. If he doesn't follow what he promised, you can say that this can also cultivate a habit of keeping promises for children, which will greatly help in future work and life.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 11022
 },
 {
  "question": "Will students with poor college entrance exam grades say that students with good grades will work for them in the future?",
  "description": "I often encounter some high school students who perform poorly in exams but are always full of confidence. They point at their classmates who have excellent grades and say, \"They will all work for me in the future.\" By the way, these children are not so-called rich second-generation or official second-generation.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance, student development",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the question is, will students with poor college entrance exam scores have those with good scores work for them in the future? First of all, having poor exam scores only indicates a lack of academic ability. However, if the student has sufficient entrepreneurial acumen, what they say might become a reality. But often, it is those from top universities (985 universities) who have more entrepreneurial ideas in the information age and more opportunities. Indeed, many people rely on their own abilities to start businesses and have graduates from prestigious schools work for them. We do not deny their certain talents. Entrepreneurs often have to face more hardships and obstacles than those who attend top universities, so their experiences are rich. When they have abundant experience, they may become managers or the like, and then they can command graduates from prestigious schools to apply for jobs as employees. However, this is just a personal opinion: most of the students who make such comments are likely using a compensatory mentality because they cannot achieve high scores in the college entrance exam. They can only use these jokes to \"boost\" their self-confidence. Maybe they do not really have the intention to start a business; they are just using jokes to compensate for their competitive spirit of not being able to score well. Wish you well.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "There may also be ambitious individuals who exist in this way...and acquire a lot of money through opportunism to become wealthy and superior. Of course, these kinds of people are extremely rare. Therefore, it is understandable that some people would desire/admire or even imagine themselves as such individuals. Do we have the right to interfere with others' dreams? In the end, one will find that life has deceived oneself and become resentful towards the world. People, after all, always have to strive for self-improvement, no matter what means they use.",
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  "questionID": 19455
 },
 {
  "question": "How can one experience the joy of learning in university without comparing oneself to others?",
  "description": "I have been focused on studying and chasing grades and rankings. Now that I am in my third year, I realize that my goal in learning has always been to be better than others, without having my own goals. I can only feel my own worth by being superior to everyone around me. No matter what I do, the purpose is just to outperform others. Only in this way can I feel a sense of personal worth and fulfillment. How can I correct this distorted way of thinking? How can I transfer this sense of worth to other things? What should I do to find my own value and fulfillment without relying on comparison and surpassing others?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, self-acceptance",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ From childhood to adulthood, you have studied very hard, chasing after grades and rankings in order to be better than everyone around you. Only then can you possibly feel \"valuable\" and \"deserving of love,\" and experience a sense of superiority and avoid feelings of inferiority. However, the constant pursuit often leaves you physically and mentally exhausted. You can't feel the joy of the pursuit itself, but instead, all your focus is on \"winning.\" You feel constrained, tense, and weary. So, you really want to change this way of thinking, have your own goals, and enjoy the happiness of achieving those goals. Is that right? Your thoughts and beliefs are: \"I haven't achieved enough even if I do well on exams, I still have no worth. I'm only valuable if I outperform others on exams. I'm inherently worthless and undeserving of love, I must prove myself to be excellent in order to be loved by others. I feel very insecure inside, I often deny and attack myself. In order to avoid facing this 'feeling,' I need to pursue 'superiority.' I guess these thought patterns are probably related to your upbringing. Perhaps your parents were too strict or you experienced a lack of feeling loved, so the underlying cause of this belief is likely a lack of security and self-worth. As a result, you've tied your sense of worth to external factors, and your worth is determined by external factors. Saadia's iceberg theory would tell you that you need to explore the underlying expectations and desires and then replace the learned ways through self-satisfaction and self-nurturing. Furthermore, the idea that you have to be better than others to be considered good, is very similar to what Professor Wu said, you only live in a dimension of narcissism. In the \"human nature coordinate system,\" in order to truly enter into real relationships, you need to expand the space of your soul. Only then can you enjoy the pleasure of pursuing goals and experience the feelings of equality and fluidity in relationships. Since you are a junior in college, I recommend that you self-study a few courses to understand yourself and improve self-awareness. Wu Zhihong's audio course \"From Narcissism to True Self-Confidence,\" Fei Cong's audio course \"Self-Nurturing,\" and Adler's \"Inferiority and Transcendence.\" I hope this will be helpful to you.",
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 },
 {
  "question": "I didn't get into high school and I am not allowed to repeat the year. What should I do?",
  "description": "I originally started off quite diligently, but when I saw my classmates having so much fun, I let go of my studying mindset. Sigh, I really don't know what else I can do. I have moderate depression and am currently taking medication.",
  "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, student development.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, apart from taking medication, you must try to relax and learn to resolve negative emotions. Perhaps you can discover interesting things around you or engage in activities that can make you happy. You can also communicate more with your parents or friends and express your thoughts. If you didn't pass the entrance exam for high school and the school doesn't allow you to repeat a year, maybe you can try consulting other schools to see if you can study for an extra year. If the results are not ideal, don't worry or feel anxious. Maybe you can find a vocational school and learn a technical skill or art. Perhaps through everyday things, you can discover your interests and then persist in pursuing them, which may be very helpful to you in the future. at this time, you can set a study plan for yourself and then match it with a reward plan. If you complete the specified study plan, you can receive a reward, which may help motivate you to study. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
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  "questionID": 12876
 },
 {
  "question": "Diagnosed with moderate obsessive-compulsive disorder and mild anxiety, what should I do if it is difficult to regulate?",
  "description": "I am 29 years old this year, and I was diagnosed at the hospital last month. The doctor prescribed me fluvoxamine and duloxetine hydrochloride directly. I couldn't tolerate the side effects of the latter after eating it once, so I stopped taking it. I took fluvoxamine for a week and during that time, I read some books on Morita therapy and gained some insights. I felt that my symptoms improved, so I stopped taking the medication. However, recently my symptoms have started to recur: overall, I feel worried and anxious. I worry that I might lose control and jump off a building. I worry that I might lose control while driving and hit the steering wheel. I worry that something might happen to my family. I worry about gas leakage and poisoning. As a result, I feel very nervous and anxious, and I also easily get irritable. When my wife asks me to do something, I get easily annoyed. The symptoms come and go, and it's also a bit challenging to regulate them. I wonder if there are any similar buddies who could give me some guidance and directions.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, emotional regulation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you a hug and hoping your anxiety and stress can be a little better. From your description, it sounds like your anxiety is quite severe, and you worry excessively about things in life that you can't control. If you're worried about gas leaks, you can have professionals check the pipes and regularly replace them to minimize the risk of any potential issues. It's normal to worry about your family's safety, after all, they are the closest to us, but does excessive worry mean that you don't trust your family to take care of themselves? In reality, it reflects a lack of confidence in yourself. If you're worried about losing control while driving and randomly turning the steering wheel, it also stems from a lack of confidence in yourself. Have you ever done such a thing after driving for so long? Probably not. So please trust yourself to take responsibility for your own and others' safety. The examples you provided are all related to safety. Why are you so concerned about personal safety? Have you experienced a major trauma related to life safety? Ask your parents or try to recall, see if you can find an answer, see what makes you so afraid of losing your life. When worries arise again, tell yourself: It's okay, things are fine now, and you can pay attention to safety. It's normal to feel annoyed when your wife asks you to do something. Look carefully at what makes you feel irritated. Is it the thing itself, or is it your current needs not being met, such as respect, quietness, understanding, etc., that make you feel irritated? Regardless of the diagnosis, don't avoid it, nor deliberately reinforce it. Face it with a calm mind, pay attention to your needs, give yourself care and love, and believe that things will get better. In your daily life, you can read more books on psychology, exercise more, expend your energy, think less, and do more. I believe you will become better! Keep going and take care!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21901
 },
 {
  "question": "18-year-old girl, has never felt a romantic attraction towards men, and inexplicably likes her female desk mate.",
  "description": "Before, I used to think that I just hadn't met a boy I liked. However, in the past two months, I have developed feelings for my female classmate. It's an inexplicable kind of liking, and now I can't even face her. Do I have some psychological problem?",
  "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation, affection.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "At the age of 18, you are still in a period of confusion. When it comes to sexual orientation, you should face it bravely. Your attraction to your female classmate does not necessarily indicate a homosexual tendency, but rather could be due to her shining qualities and maternal aspects. Right now, you should focus on your studies at school. Besides completing daily study plans, you should also read more books related to your major. As for love, as you enter college and gradually enter society, you will meet more people and your thoughts will mature. Only then will love become more genuine.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "That year, I was 18 years old, and I also had a strange feeling towards the girl in our dormitory. She was the captain of our basketball team in class, and since our whole class was female, I thought she was very cool and admired her. I always wanted to be around her and at one point, even questioned if I had a problem or if I was gay. During casual conversations, I would jokingly say things like \"I'm starting to fall in love with you, you're so cool, I really like you.\" Afterwards, I learned from relevant information that I was just admiring her because she seemed perfect to me. I wanted to imitate her. I would advise the original poster to interact more with the opposite sex. If you truly have feelings for the same sex, then face your own feelings and accept them.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "In the stage of our growth, we may observe, imitate, and develop positive feelings towards individuals of the same sex. This is possible and may be part of a psychological construction related to self-identity and gender. This liking could signify a desire to become like them or personify their qualities. It's worth letting ourselves experience and explore what this liking means. What lies behind this liking? In reality, we can develop feelings for many different people, including older individuals, individuals of the same sex, and individuals of the opposite sex, as we progress through different stages of psychological development. Of course, it's also possible that you genuinely like girls. However, that's nothing to be concerned about. Get to know yourself and face it. You may experience different emotions.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Sexual orientation is not something that can determine one's entire life. At your age, boys may not be fully matured yet, unlike older men, so it is normal to gradually have people who like you and people whom you like. My children are in their twenties and they haven't been in a romantic relationship yet. Maybe they haven\u2019t said it, but that's what they have conveyed.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10437
 },
 {
  "question": "When there are too many things happening, I become anxious and don't know what to do.",
  "description": "When there is a lot going on, I become anxious. And when I feel anxious, I play on my phone and can't get things done. Even when I stay at home, my mood is not good because I live with my mom, who tends to complain a lot. I have trouble sleeping and easily become distracted.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, chaos",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the OP. When you have a lot of things to deal with, you need to find a way to solve them one by one. Differentiate and prioritize them, then make a list in order. It's not helpful to avoid them, and sometimes it will make things more complicated. Your anxiety suggests that you know you have to deal with these things, but you can't control yourself, so you chose to escape and play with your phone. I believe that even when you're playing with your phone, your mind is still uneasy. So why not start tackling one thing at a time, regardless of what it is, and make a plan for yourself. Having a plan will give you motivation and make things more organized. Your mom certainly wants the best for you, that's why she nags so much. If she's really going overboard, you can sit down and talk with her. See if you can find a different approach or solution. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Poster, hello! I can understand your state of mind because I went through the same thing two months ago. If you have the means, you can consider living separately from your mother. What consequences would occur if these things were delayed? Some things can only be delayed. Then, find a quiet place and spend one or two hours meditating to resolve your anxiety, relax, and calm down. Then, prioritize and handle each task one by one until they are completed.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20089
 },
 {
  "question": "How can I overcome nervousness and trembling when speaking?",
  "description": "When I was a child, I was very lively, but gradually became more introverted and timid. It was particularly severe during high school. When a teacher asked me a question, I would instantly break into a cold sweat, tremble all over, and my heart would beat so fast that I could hear it. My vision would darken, and my mind would go blank. I couldn't hear what others were saying. It got better in college, but I still easily get nervous and anxious. I also noticed that I not only get nervous when talking to strangers, but also when talking to familiar friends. My face would twitch, and my hands and feet would sweat and tremble slightly. I don't know why this happens, because I don't feel scared at all. What's going on? In fact, in daily life, no one knows about my social anxiety. They just think I'm a bit introverted and become lively when I get to know them. But I'm actually losing control. Now that I'm working, the pressure is particularly high because of this situation. I've been so nervous during job interviews that I couldn't speak and my whole body would shake violently. Because of work, I will have many opportunities to speak in public, and I'm really anxious. What should I do at that time? Are there any temporary relief methods or medications? I once asked a friend to prescribe me some tranquilizers, but they didn't work. It has been over a month now, and during this time, my anxiety has reached its peak. I can't eat or drink, I can't sleep well, and my mood is irritable. I can cry at any moment. It feels terrible... What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, social adaptation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, it's clear that this issue is really troubling you and making you feel very uncomfortable. I don't know why you became introverted and nervous when talking to people, even though you used to be lively as a child. You mentioned that you don't feel scared inside, but you show signs of nervousness and fear, which confuses you. It seems like your anxiety is caused by being nervous when talking to others, and this anxiety in turn makes you even more nervous, creating a vicious cycle. I think it's important to break this cycle. You can try to relax and accept that you may have a strong reaction when talking to others. By accepting yourself, you can reduce your anxiety. When you feel calmer, you can try to communicate with others again. Before speaking, you can also take deep breaths and use positive self-talk, telling yourself that it's just a few words and you can definitely do it, and that it's not as scary as it seems. Your anxiety has been going on for a month, and it feels like you've been through a lot, always on the edge of a breakdown. I'm not sure if the medication your friend gave you didn't work, or if your friend is a professional. Taking medication is one aspect, but counseling is also necessary. If this situation worsens, I believe it's very important to seek professional help. You can go to a hospital or a psychological counseling agency to receive more specialized assistance.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
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     {
      "start": 42,
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     },
     {
      "start": 118,
      "end": 180,
      "type": "Interpretation"
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     {
      "start": 180,
      "end": 290,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
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      "start": 290,
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     },
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      "start": 355,
      "end": 427,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
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    ]
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10746
 },
 {
  "question": "My boyfriend has many female colleagues in his company, and I feel very anxious and uneasy. How can I regulate my emotions?",
  "description": "My boyfriend works as a video director and has to write scripts and shoot videos with models every day. This makes me unhappy, and I always call him when he's shooting videos. At first, he didn't mind, but after a while, he said it was starting to disturb his work. I got angry and started accusing him of not loving me. I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable whenever he talks to or works with other women. I feel like he's being flirtatious or interested in someone else, even though I know it's not true. He's good to me, always answers my calls, and doesn't hesitate to spend money on me. But I just can't trust him. I think highly of myself because I'm attractive, and my boyfriend liked me because of that. Sometimes, when I see how pretty his models are, I feel jealous. I work in sales, and when I have free time, I tend to spend it with my boyfriend. But he's usually busy with work, so I become unreasonable and pick fights. However, if he doesn't answer my calls, I start to feel anxious and break out in a cold sweat. He often scolds me for this, but I still keep seeking him out. As a result, I don't feel like doing anything else; I just want to argue with him and make him appease me. In the beginning, I was more aloof, but as time went on, I realized that I've become more dependent on him. Perhaps I have a strong possessiveness.",
  "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, sense of security, arguments.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: In fact, there is jealousy in love, but once jealousy passes, it is inevitable that your boyfriend will feel that you are being \"petty\". This is not only detrimental to the relationship, but also makes the other person dislike you. I believe you are smart and beautiful, but deep down, you still have insecurity about your boyfriend. This \"fear of loss\" may also make the other person uncomfortable. Let's analyze the problem and hope it will be beneficial to you. Analyzing the issue: 1. Your boyfriend is a video director and writes scripts every day, shoots videos with models, and you are unhappy about it. Every time he shoots a video, you have to call him. At first, he didn't mind, but after a while, he said it was distracting him from his work. (It seems that he loves you, but you are obviously jealous of those models. Maybe deep down, you also have a \"little narcissism\" and think that your boyfriend should revolve around you. But you forget that it's his job. If you love him, you need to trust him and believe in yourself as well.) 2. You get angry and argue with him, saying that he doesn't love you. You don't know why, but you feel uncomfortable whenever he talks to the opposite sex or works with them. You think he is being flirtatious and liking someone else, but you know he isn't. He is good to you. (In the beginning of a relationship, a boyfriend will dote on you, even if you falsely accuse him. But what about after a while? Have you thought about that? Will he still unconditionally tolerate you? Even if nothing happens in the end, you have already suspected him. Girl, you need to cultivate some \"inner strength\". If you are willing, we can work on it together. I can help you.) 3. He always answers your calls and is willing to spend money, but you still don't trust him. You are not bad yourself, it was because you are pretty that your boyfriend likes you. Sometimes when you see those models looking good, you feel jealous. (Yes, that's right. Generally, when surrounded by flowers, how can a leaf not get stained? But this is also testing the depth of your emotions with your boyfriend. Think about it, if he can prioritize work here, it proves that he is an excellent guy. Then you don't have to worry in the future. But if he can't resist temptation, it proves that he doesn't love you enough. What's the use of having such a guy tied to you, right?) 4. You work in business, so when you have nothing to do, you find your boyfriend. But he is busy with work, so every time you become unreasonable. But as soon as he doesn't answer your calls, you become anxious and break into a cold sweat. (Life has many pleasures, other than work and your boyfriend, right? When our attention is focused on one person, many things are magnified and become \"subjective\". Loving someone includes being unreasonable, but it also involves facing things maturely and rationally, right? Instead of focusing on others, it's better to build inner strength. If you are willing, we can work on it together. I can help you.) 5. He often complains, but you still seek him out. The more he becomes impatient, the more you seek him out. You don't want to do anything else, you just want to argue with him and make him appease you. You were initially more aloof, but as you stayed together, you realized you became more dependent on him, maybe because you have strong possessiveness. (You started off being aloof, but what about the reality? You have become dependent on him and possessive. This kind of emotional state is not good. This \"fear of loss\" will drive someone crazy. You lack \"security\", and your sense of security is solely dependent on him. In the long run, both of you will suffocate each other.) Facing the problem: \"My boyfriend has many female coworkers, and I feel very anxious and uneasy. How can I adjust?\" ~~ The grass among a multitude of flowers has a unique charm. Your worries are understandable, but this is your boyfriend's \"work\". He needs to earn money, support you, and spend money on you. If he is not generous in these aspects, do you still love him? Yes, if it's a \"legitimate job\", many girls wouldn't be afraid. You need to trust the boyfriend you have chosen, give him enough space, and make him feel your goodness. At least, be different from other girls in a good way. ~~ Being anxious and uneasy is normal, but how do you adjust? First, you need to trust your boyfriend, so that your mindset is correct. Secondly, you still need to practice and strengthen your \"inner power\". If you can't let go of something like this, then this relationship will inevitably have problems. Unless you want to break up with this guy, then you can continue to do so. Otherwise, trust is built upon respect, and if he is a good guy, he will also respect you. If not, why do you need him? Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you to open up your own realm! I wish you to enjoy love! If you have any confusion, feel free to private message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Do you feel anxious that your boyfriend has many female colleagues in his company? You mentioned that your boyfriend is a video director and he has to write scripts every day and shoot videos with models. This makes you unhappy, and you always feel the need to call him whenever he is shooting a video. Let me ask you, when you think about your boyfriend shooting videos with models, what comes to your mind? Try to be aware of your thought process and discover what kind of life experiences, self-concepts, and automatic thoughts are causing your anxiety. Remember to write down your thoughts and the reasons behind them, such as your interpretation of past events, your perception of current situations, your understanding of yourself, others, and the environment, and your assumptions about future events. Once we understand our thought process, we can examine its truthfulness and rationality, reinterpret the past, present, and future, as well as ourselves, others, and the environment, and replace old thoughts with more realistic and reasonable ones. The specific process is as follows: I feel anxious, what happened? What thoughts come to my mind? Why do I think this way? What are my reasons for thinking this way? How else can I think? How can I think more reasonably? How do I feel after changing my thoughts?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, both of you need to work, but your jobs have different natures, so you may have doubts about each other's actions. Your boyfriend is studying directing and comes into contact with a lot of people. I have some understanding of the directing field, it is very tiring and stressful. You work in business, so you have more free time. Instead of frequently calling, it would be better to go to his workplace and accompany him in his work for a few days. This way, you can get to know the people around him and have a common topic, which will bring you closer and build more trust in each other. Learn more about the excellent qualities your boyfriend has. You said that being pretty is what makes your boyfriend like you, but as a girl, you can't always rely on your looks! If you want to be with your boyfriend in the long run, explore your other interests and hobbies, so your boyfriend can appreciate you more and enhance your inner beauty to better attract him. He is very good to you and patient, but over time, it can turn into unreasonable fussing. This can create distance between you two. I can see that you are quite dependent, and it's common for girls to be more dependent on their partner after starting a relationship. This can also be seen as a sign of love. You need to distinguish between work, life, and emotions, and manage the relationships well to lay a foundation for a long-lasting relationship. Successful men always have an excellent woman by their side, so focus on improving yourself and let your boyfriend appreciate you more. Finally, well... this is just homework, I hope you all can help me out by finding it useful. Thank you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Positive self-suggestion, when experiencing anxiety, give yourself powerful self-suggestions such as \"I can do it\", \"I will definitely succeed\", \"I believe in myself\", etc. Positive self-suggestion can increase confidence and overcome anxiety. Moderate exercise, research shows that exercise can eliminate some chemicals that cause anxiety, relax the mind, and improve mood. When you feel anxious, just go for a run, play sports like basketball or go swimming. Not only will you exercise your body, but it will also effectively alleviate anxiety and give you more energy to do what comes next. Do the things you are most interested in, when people do things they are passionate about, they will fully immerse themselves and enter a state of being absorbed in the activity. Therefore, when you face anxiety, put aside the work at hand and do something you are interested in, such as singing, listening to music, watching TV, playing basketball, etc. When you finish doing these things, your worries and anxiety will have long disappeared. Emotional release is an important way to relieve stress and maintain psychological balance. You can talk to your loved ones or friends about your tension and anxiety to adjust your inner self; or find a suitable place to cry or laugh out loud to release your inner sadness. Music, music can relax people and bring about positive changes in physiological and psychological rhythms. When something makes you feel uneasy or irritated, take a moment to listen to music, you will feel like a gentle breeze brushing through your soul, experiencing incredible comfort and contentment, and your anxiety will evaporate as well.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "\u3010I think I need to assess whether this cognition is problematic or not - it would be better to communicate with my boyfriend about his thoughts on this issue. Possible scenarios: Scenario 1: It could be that my boyfriend doesn't prioritize my looks as much as I think, in which case I might have been worrying unnecessarily; Scenario 2: If my boyfriend really is only interested in my looks, then I need to change my perspective - relying on physical appearance alone will only lead to a decline in love. So, should I continue to depend on my superficial attributes for success or should I rely on other strengths instead?\u3011",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation! Ah, I'm a little worried after reading your message. The way you two are interacting may ruin your close relationship. Your dance steps are currently in a chase-escape pattern. Initially, your boyfriend was doing well by sticking to his own steps, but now he is starting to coordinate with your steps, which is not good. Slowly, the more you chase, the more he runs away, and the more you chase, the more he escapes. Take a moment to reflect on why you feel the need to chase him. Although you are very beautiful, your self-worth hasn't caught up with your appearance. Additionally, I don't know what experiences you've been through that make you see other women as competitors. Stop chasing him, otherwise your boyfriend will walk away.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21063
 },
 {
  "question": "A 16-year-old girl recently gets scared and starts crying when others speak loudly.",
  "description": "I used to have hallucinations during my school days, which affected my learning and social life. I took a year off from school and staying at home felt okay. Recently, for the past month, I have to sleep with the lights on at night. If I turn off the lights, the previous situation reoccurs. In the past two weeks, I have started to become afraid when people speak loudly. I get scared and start crying when I hear loud voices, sometimes I don't even know why. I have also started to fear going out, when someone looks at me, I feel uncomfortable and have a sense of fear, wanting to escape. Sometimes I understand that my dad naturally speaks with a loud voice, but I can't help but cry, I'm really afraid. Whenever I cry, my dad continues to yell at me. The lights I turn on at night are getting brighter and brighter. As soon as it gets dark, I feel like I'm falling into an abyss. What happens during the day turns into nightmares at night. I'm really scared, I want to see a doctor, but my dad thinks I'm not sick. I'm very scared to talk to him now, I don't know what to do. I'm also afraid to share these things with my friends because of some past incidents at school. My mood is also unpredictable, sometimes I suddenly get angry or feel like crying. When my dad asks me what's wrong, I say I don't know, and he yells at me and insults me. It really feels like hell.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, anxious feelings, panic and helplessness.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug. In your situation, it would be better to see a doctor. If your dad doesn't understand, can you talk to your mom or any other trusted adult around you? After all, you've taken a year off from school, so I can't quite understand your father's attitude. He shouldn't be unaware of the help you need. If your father doesn't like the idea of seeing a doctor, would he mind if you seek a counselor? You can tell your dad that you're feeling very distressed and would like to talk to a mental health professional to figure out what's going on with you. This way, the counselor can assess you and, if necessary, have a chat with your father. Do you think this is feasible?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Understood, received. I'm also very afraid of the dark. Sometimes I can't even accept looking at my own shadow. I'm also afraid of arguments, fights, and being harmed by others. I'm afraid of being disliked and scared of crowded places, which makes me feel anxious and nervous. So, I give you a hug, it's not easy. Don't be afraid, take it slow. I used to have a really tense relationship with my parents, crying as soon as we met, and even getting into fights and arguments, I even ran away from home. But I believe in Buddhism, and I realized that I really, really, really love my family. Buddha said: \"Our bodies are received from our parents. We were born from our mother's womb. If our mother did not want to have us, we wouldn't exist. If our father did not want to have us, we wouldn't exist.\" So I am grateful for this connection, thankful for this love that keeps me alive. Parents love their children, otherwise they wouldn't choose you and you wouldn't choose them. So forgive them, embrace your own dark side. Hugs to you, it's not easy. May Buddha have compassion. Let go of anger and resentment, cherish and be grateful for a good relationship with your parents. Wishing you peace and joy.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16892
 },
 {
  "question": "I feel like I can't fully devote myself, should I change jobs?",
  "description": "At the beginning of June, I started a new job in a new company. The working environment is an office, and all my colleagues are male. I have been working for half a month, but I feel like I can't fully engage myself. I feel awkward every day, and I'm not in the right state of mind. I don't feel like talking at work, and sometimes I would inexplicably cry when I come home from work. My body feels heavy, and I feel very lonely. I'm struggling, wondering if I should change jobs or if I have some kind of mental problem. Please give me some advice on what should I do?",
  "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I can really feel the sense of loneliness you are experiencing in your new job. When we change to a new environment, everyone has a lot of difficulties adapting to it, especially if the work environment is fast-paced and communication with colleagues is minimal. And all of your colleagues here are male, so I'm thinking maybe you are a female? Sometimes we say that if a female works in a male-dominated environment, the differences in male and female thinking might make us feel like an outsider in the team. I think it's possible that this group of \"big boys\" and the unfamiliar work environment are making you feel uncomfortable. Mainly because there is a lack of necessary communication and interaction here. I wonder if there will be opportunities to get along with everyone in the workplace and integrate into the collective more quickly. I believe that whether male or female, and regardless of the people in the work environment, we can find ways to find common ground and fit in with the people around us.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ First, give OP a hug. Congratulations on getting a new job. However, you always feel awkward in the office and can't muster up the enthusiasm. You don't know if this job is not suitable for you or if there is something wrong with you. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Is the job not suitable for the OP or is there a problem with the OP's adaptation to the environment? This depends on what factors in this environment make the OP uncomfortable. Is it the job tasks themselves? Or is it the office layout and atmosphere? Or is it because the OP mentioned that there are only male colleagues around, so it feels awkward. If the reason is clear, effective decisions can be made. Otherwise, even if you change jobs, the new job may still have these factors that make the OP uncomfortable, and the OP will still lack enthusiasm. 2. Share your inner feelings and recent work and life difficulties with trusted friends and family. Even if they cannot provide substantive help, speaking these words can serve as a way to vent, reducing the OP's internal anxiety. 3. If this awkward and unadaptable situation seriously affects the OP's personal life and work, the OP can try taking a day or two off and consult with a professional counselor to understand the root cause of the problem, which may lead to a more thorough solution.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19865
 },
 {
  "question": "From yesterday to today, and then to tomorrow, how can we truly grow?",
  "description": "From yesterday to today and then to tomorrow, how do we truly grow? Every day we make efforts, but it seems like something is not quite right. There is no change. It would be fine even with just a little progress, but the results don't seem to be that way. Sometimes I question, is persistence always right?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Persistence is not always the answer, but persisting in doing what is right is always correct. Some things are worth persisting in and learning for a lifetime, such as learning itself, exercising, and taking care of one's own health. We work hard every day, but it seems like there is no change. This is completely normal. Rome wasn't built in a day, and constant effort leads to success. Most of the things we do and the efforts we put in are for gradually improving ourselves and doing things better step by step. If changes were so obvious and fast, there would be no need for persistence. Of course, some things have quicker and more visible feedback. For example, when we were in school, we often had exams and assignments. Our teachers would grade and correct our work, so we could quickly see if we were progressing or regressing in our learning. However, many things in adulthood do not have such immediate feedback. But as long as we work hard and make efforts, there will definitely be progress. Those who say that they cannot achieve something even after making efforts either have chosen the wrong path or simply haven't made enough effort. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4880
 },
 {
  "question": "The younger the inner child is, is it more difficult for them to grow up? Does it mean they are more immature?",
  "description": "Recently, I have been reading books about psychology. I wanted to know if children who are younger are more difficult to grow up, and if it means that they are more immature.",
  "keywords": "Growth, improved personality, self-development, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "We can look at it from a different perspective and see that we have a lot of room to grow. This may be because, for various reasons, our inner child has remained there without growing. Perhaps for him, it was the only choice he could make, and now it is an opportunity for growth. Our lives are like flowers, different flowers bloom in different seasons. They are all beautiful.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
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  ],
  "questionID": 14974
 },
 {
  "question": "I regret it now that I didn't resist and gave in to my boyfriend for the first time.",
  "description": "I am actually a slow warming person and don't really understand emotions. But I have been together with my boyfriend for over 4 months, and after meeting a few times in real life, we no longer have our first time. I feel that we don't understand each other well enough and we are uncertain about the future, so I am feeling very upset now. I have never been in a relationship before. I met my boyfriend online during the pandemic. He pursued me and I thought he was an okay person and suitable for being together. We have met a few times and have daily video contact. We see each other about once a month, go out together, hug, kiss, touch... This should be normal for a boyfriend and girlfriend, although I feel a little uncomfortable, I haven't refused. I am not the type of person who knows how to say no... A few days ago, I went to see him and he asked me to stay at his place and share the same bed... It was also my lack of consideration, I thought he would respect me. That night, he wanted to have sex and was very direct. I expressed three times that I didn't want to, so he didn't continue, but after a while he almost did it again. In the end, he let me go. I thought he wouldn't force me again, but the next day during the daytime... I was lying on bed and in that situation, I didn't know how to refuse, so I asked him to make a promise and then agreed. In the end, I still couldn't stand my ground. He seems to think he did nothing wrong, and afterwards he was still caring and showed a responsible attitude. But I still regret it.",
  "keywords": "Romance, relationship management, sexual behavior.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, each girl hopes that her first time is given to someone who is serious and responsible towards her, a romantic love where both parties are deeply in love. Therefore, when this experience doesn't meet your expectations, it can make you feel restless, embarrassed, disappointed, and even lead to regret, like in your case. This feeling of regret may stem from several reasons: firstly, you still feel uneasy about this relationship and don't fully trust this \"boyfriend\" you met during the pandemic, so you worry about your investment ending up being a loss. Secondly, your internal emotions make you vaguely sense shame. Subconsciously, you feel that if you had listened less to your own feelings, your feelings and desires were wrong. Thirdly, this encounter didn't happen in the ideal romantic way. There may be other reasons as well, which you can explore on your own. Although the other person was somewhat \"forcing\", you chose to stay (in truth, you also had some expectations of the other person's behavior), and you agreed to their further actions, making it a done deal. Being apprehensive and regretful won't change the situation; what matters now is your next choice. Here are a few suggestions for you to consider: firstly, does your current feeling of regret and unease reflect any actual \"danger\"? Is this guy serious about you, what is his character like, how does he handle real-life issues, do you genuinely like this person, and so on? You need to judge these aspects. If the answer is negative, then cut your losses promptly and leave the relationship. If it's affirmative, then you should suppress the feeling of regret because long-term \"regret\" is a form of emotional blackmail towards your partner and can likely affect your present relationship. Secondly, reflect on your emotional beliefs and patterns based on your experience. You actually aren't completely clueless about romantic relationships between men and women, and your reluctance doesn't imply a lack of desire or need. You didn't hold onto your previous guards, accepted the other person's hugs and kisses, and chose to share a bed, which indicates that you had expectations. However, afterwards, you denied these genuine needs, which may be related to the emotional beliefs and patterns formed during your upbringing. It may seem like you have high standards, but your actions send welcoming and encouraging signals to the other person. This pattern may need adjustment, or else you might easily encounter jerks. Thirdly, accept your genuine needs. The physical needs that arise between partners are extremely normal and even intimate physical connections can promote the development of emotional relationships. Enjoy the experiences they bring, as they can be truly wonderful. May you love yourself and find someone who loves you in the right way.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I hope these words can bring you even a little warmth. Dear dear girl, I hope you can experience happiness in this process, instead of constantly dwelling on regret. After all, this is a very open and inclusive environment, and engaging in sexual activities with a loved one is not something to be ashamed of. Whether you are together in the future or not, your worth comes from yourself and not from your \"virginity.\" But what I want to say is that your boyfriend's behavior is unpleasant. Even after you have repeatedly and clearly refused him, he still persists in such behavior, which actually lacks the respect he should have for you. It is best for you to make this point clear to him, express your discomfort, and criticize him, making him realize that his behavior has caused you harm. In future interactions, you must also pay attention to this point and not let him think that your refusal is ineffective and just a facade. In your future life, don't trust others too much. The first priority is to protect yourself and ensure your safety, including practicing safe sex. Don't rely solely on short-term contraceptive methods or abortion procedures, and don't put your hopes entirely on \"he will take responsibility.\" But the past is already gone, so don't dwell on it. You are still an amazing girl, and there is nothing wrong with you because of this. I hope every girl's refusal can be respected and that they can face all of this with composure.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I completely understand how you feel right now because our first time is very precious. Of course, this is also a youthful experience for us. Nowadays, society is very tolerant and open-minded, so we don't need to attach too much importance to this situation. Because sexual activity among adults is also very normal. Sex is also a part of life. However, as women, we must first consider safety issues and pay attention to reasonable contraception. It is crucial not to harm ourselves. I know that you are conflicted and contradictory inside. Every woman may have similar feelings during this period, but the way each person expresses it is different. It is possible that your family is very traditional, so you care a lot about this outcome. In fact, there is no need to worry too much. Some people, not only men but also women, have a fixation on virginity. Men with a fixation on virginity hope to find a wife who is a virgin. Women with a fixation on virginity believe that their first time should be reserved for their future husband. However, in today's open society, this fixation is becoming less and less common, so I believe that in the future, you will face what is happening now with calmness. I hope you can quickly get out of this psychological state and restore a peaceful life. This situation is really not a big problem.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. [Lack of understanding and uncertainty about the future make it difficult] (1) By the time you understand, it may be too late; and who knows what the future holds? Before getting married, couples may not foresee what will happen in the future, some even believe that divorce will never happen, but in reality, it can happen quickly. The future is not within your control. (2) In today's society, it is quite common for couples to have sexual relations, some even engage in sexual activities without being in a committed relationship, and many couples live together before getting married. These are all very common phenomena. 2. [You have daily video contact, kissing, and hugging] Moreover, it is normal to engage in sexual relations. 3. [He asks you to stay at his place] (1) This is a matter of social norms. It is quite obvious that he wants to have sex with you. If you agree to stay at his place, it implies that you consent to have sex with him. It has nothing to do with what you think. (2) If you think he will respect you, then you are not seeing him as a man. He is a normal man, not a eunuch. Moreover, if you agree to stay at his place, he will consider it as your agreement to have sexual relations. All the hesitation and reluctance are just pretense. (3) Don't you know that sharing a room often leads to sexual relations? It's so obvious. Why would you pretend not to know or understand? 4. [Ask him for commitment] This implies that you are not willing to take responsibility for yourself and your actions; you want him to take responsibility for you. Sorry to say, but everyone can only be responsible for themselves. If you want to have a sexual relationship with him, then accept the consequences. What's the big deal?",
    "has_label": false,
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 17017
 },
 {
  "question": "25 years old, too many failures, afraid to face family, feeling that life has lost hope.",
  "description": "At 25 years old, I experienced the exams for the national and provincial civil service positions, but ultimately failed to pass. I have left behind all the time and effort I invested, and now I feel like nothing. Sometimes, I inexplicably feel sad and burst into tears, feeling that life has lost its hope. I feel like I have wasted my life and lost all sense of direction. The current me is like a walking dead.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, work and study.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "You have experienced the national and provincial exams but did not pass. You have invested a lot of time and feel disappointed and even desperate about life. It seems that you have put a lot of effort into the career exams and had high hopes, so the feeling of hopelessness is hard to bear. You were able to devote so much to this exam, showing great perseverance. Although you failed, it proves that this path may not be suitable for you and reminds you to look up and explore other paths and directions. In life, we always strive and fully invest in our goals, but often forget to look around and see that there are many other roads ahead. When you encounter a roadblock on one path, what would you do? Sit there, saddened and reluctant to get up, or try your best to overcome it, or change direction and continue forward? Does the blocked path mean the end of your life? Have you reached the end of your life? Has your life lost its hope? If this path is not viable, why not try another? Just because one path is blocked doesn't mean others cannot be taken. Having the courage to face failure, gracefully turning around, and accepting new challenges is what defines a true hero. A smooth and always successful life does not exist. Each person's life is special and meaningful because it experiences many things, including both success and failure. These experiences form unique and unforgettable life experiences. The hope in life does not lie in how many opportunities for success you can achieve, but in whether you still hold hope and determination when faced with failure and setbacks, and do not give up easily. When encountering failure, we can pause and feel sad, but we should not remain in despair. Reflect on your exam experience, see if there is room for improvement and growth, and then continue to challenge with renewed efforts. Alternatively, explore other good job opportunities that may be suitable for you and determine what further efforts you need to make. The road of life is not yet complete, the challenges are not over, and opportunities and hope lie ahead, as long as you boldly move forward. Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15523
 },
 {
  "question": "Feeling like life is a mess with a baby? Feeling depressed.",
  "description": "After giving birth, I went back to work when the baby was just one month old. Currently, I am teaching students online and taking care of the baby at home with my mother. My mother always likes to criticize me, making me feel like I haven't done anything well and she wants to control everything. For example, I bought a fish for 20 yuan and she said I don't know how to manage the household, which annoys and frustrates me. I feel like I haven't done well in my work and haven't taken good care of the child. I am constantly being quarreled at home and my mental state is on the verge of collapse. Every time I argue with my mother, I just keep quiet and don't want to say anything, sitting on the side and crying. I feel depressed and have had thoughts...sometimes I feel like the sky is falling...",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive mood, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. As a mother, I understand you very well. Taking care of children can be very tiring, especially when you have to work and take care of your child at the same time, while also dealing with your mother. You must be feeling a lot of pressure right now, feeling trapped, frustrated, and anxious. According to your description, having a baby is not the biggest source of your stress, a big part of it is actually because of your mother. She neither understands nor supports your work, nor does she appreciate your efforts in taking care of the child. Instead, she often nitpicks and belittles you, leading to a lot of distress and pressure. Maybe many of these are trivial matters, but when they accumulate, they greatly affect your emotions and cause significant stress that cannot be relieved. It must be said that many older people's beliefs are outdated and we cannot agree with them, but they still insist on their own opinions and impose their will on their children. All of this has deep-rooted reasons and cannot be changed overnight. It can be seen that your mother has always treated you in this way and used this attitude and approach to discipline you, even though you have grown up and become a mother yourself. She still treats you like a child, demanding that you follow her advice and do as she says. And after having a baby, this contradiction and conflict become even more intense. Since we understand that a big part of the problem lies with your mother's inappropriate behavior and that you are not at fault, but currently there is no way to change your mother's attitude and behavior, you can change your own mindset and protect your emotions. If your mother opposes you or argues with you, just let her speak, and ignore her. Do what you want to do. After she finishes speaking and feels relieved and satisfied with her need for control, maybe she will calm down. What you need to do is not argue with her, avoid her, change the subject, or simply nod and comply. Use these methods to try to free yourself from her control and influence and protect your emotions. Because it is impossible for you to win over her and it will only affect your own emotions and increase your distress and pressure. If you feel aggrieved and uncomfortable, I hope you can communicate more with your husband, express your thoughts and feelings to him, and receive his understanding, comfort, and support. It can make you feel that you are not alone in this battle and that you have someone behind you supporting you. Or if you have good friends, you can also contact them more, chat with them more, and relieve your suppressed emotions. If you really cannot tolerate your mother's interference, it would be best to live separately from her, as conflicts are more likely to arise when living under the same roof with elderly people. I wonder if your father-in-law, mother-in-law, or other relatives could take turns to help take care of the children? Or perhaps your family's financial situation can afford to hire a nanny or house cleaner? Or I don't know how old your child is, but is it possible to send them to daycare? If spending some money can help solve these problems and improve your mood, making life more comfortable, I think it is worth it. You have to face both your work and taking care of the child. I suggest you plan your time properly, separate your work time and activities with the child so that you can manage both. I believe that after dealing with your mother's affairs, you will be able to handle both work and taking care of the child better. For the sake of your child, your family, and most importantly, your own life, please don't easily give up. There is a solution to everything, as long as you are willing to speak up, willing to face it, and willing to solve it. Finally, sending you another hug. The world and I love you~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20756
 },
 {
  "question": "There are too many negative emotions, and it's difficult to prevent thoughts about negative emotions from arising spontaneously.",
  "description": "I am 35 years old, male, from Hanzhong. I have been completely bald for ten years. I am always affected by negative emotions. I can't help but think about negative things, such as what someone said to me or did to me, which makes me very angry and these thoughts linger in my mind for a long time. It is affecting my work. What is happening to me?",
  "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Negative emotions and negative events are very common in our lives, and our negative emotions are actually a part of us. We can try to accept our inclinations correctly in order to control our personal emotions and interpersonal relationships. Each of us needs to promptly capture the signals of negative emotions in life. The real source of adjusting emotions lies in cognition, or cognitive improvement. Before cognitive change, the most important thing is to recognize and accept all emotions. Consider emotions as positive indicators that tell you that there are some minor situations in life that need your attention. When negative things come to mind, try to remain aware and not let them last too long. You can choose appropriate ways to release and vent. If you have too many negative emotions and cannot help but think of negative things, for example, a 35-year-old man from Hanzhong who has been completely bald for ten years, affected by negative emotions. For example, being very angry when someone says something to you can last a long time. Negative emotions like anger arise from situations that are just situations. Your cognition may think that these situations are very bad, but in reality, past events have already happened and may not be as bad as they seem. So release and vent, allowing yourself to be aware of spinning for five minutes, and then withdraw in a timely manner. For proper venting of anger over negative emotional events, you can consider reading the book \"The Art of Rest,\" which discusses at great length the resolution of negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, depression, and compulsion, using the RAIN method: Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Non-identification. Our personalities are not fixed, and character can be changed. Emotions are not good or bad, and anger is also a clear signal of needs. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you can think about why? What happened? How can you feel comfortable? Some things may put you in a defensive state, so we must spend some time for self-examination. It is not always a bad thing to maintain a defensive state. In fact, we have many defense mechanisms ourselves. But when you find that you are overly inward and not open and it does not bring any benefits, you need to start being aware of your emotions. The defense of anger arises from dissatisfaction, and most importantly, it makes you feel frustrated and annoyed, disappointed in the outside world, and makes you feel dissatisfied inside, creating many communication problems. The root cause of the problem may be that others \"make you unhappy,\" and there is nothing wrong with individual defense capabilities. We need to constantly check ourselves and not immediately take action based on our emotional feelings. If others are unreasonable, then please become a more tolerant person, express your inner thoughts, and make yourself aware that it is your cognition that influences your emotions. How you think determines how you feel. Think about whether you are too sensitive or very uncomfortable with their actions? Do their words or actions make sense? Try to see what actions you can take to deal with these disharmonious behaviors through a more comprehensive attitude. Try to respond calmly and, if necessary, seek psychological counseling and relief. Also, it is important to replace negative thinking patterns with a more positive mindset when looking at past negative events.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear friend: \n\nUpon hearing about your situation, I believe you are a very sensitive person. Generally, sensitive individuals tend to be very concerned about everything happening around them. At the same time, this can be quite exhausting. In your description, you mentioned that you are bothered by hearing others talk about you. This indicates that you are afraid of not being loved and seek validation from others. This is a reflection that external events mirror your inner thoughts and feelings, and it can be an opportunity to discover and resolve these issues. \n\nFirstly, the world seeks a balance between light and dark, meaning that for every person who loves you, there will inevitably be someone who doesn't. This is the law of balance in the world. Where there is light, there will always be shadows. Therefore, when you encounter someone who does not love you, you should remember that there are people who do, and you shouldn't feel disheartened or focus too much on those who do not love you. \n\nSecondly, set boundaries to separate three things in the world: your own matters, others' matters, and matters of the divine. How others talk about you, how they perceive you, that is their concern, not yours. How you react and what feelings you have is your own responsibility. Therefore, you only need to be accountable for your own feelings and don't need to delve too deeply into what others say about you or why they say it.\n\nThirdly, give mourning to negative things. The best way to let go of negative events is to mourn them. You can say to yourself, \"I'm sorry, forgive me for subjecting you to these things. I know they must have been difficult for you. It's okay, I'm here to love you.\" I understand that nobody wants to encounter negative things, but that's how the world is. Therefore, we need to take responsibility for our own mental well-being, let it go, and avoid accumulating too many unhappy events.\n\nFourthly, clear the dust from your mind. When you interact with many people, you are bound to come into contact with different energies. Each person has their own aura. Because you have to work and socialize in society, it's inevitable that some dust will settle in your mind. That's why we need to regularly cleanse and purify our souls, just like we take a shower every day. You can greet yourself every day and ask, \"How was your day?\" If there are any grievances, speak them out and use the opportunity to comfort yourself and show self-love. In fact, every experience is a call for us to return to our inner selves and take good care of ourselves. We cannot control external factors, we can only control ourselves. Therefore, we need to take responsibility for every feeling we have. Over time, with practice, you will realize that you have accumulated a lot of love within yourself. And this love comes from nobody else but yourself. I hope you comfort yourself and love yourself. \n\nYour friend, Audrey.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader! From your statement, it seems that you may be feeling anxious and unsure of how to deal with your negative emotions. You are a 35-year-old man from Hanzhong. You have been completely bald for ten years, and you are constantly affected by negative emotions. You find yourself involuntarily thinking about negative things, often triggered by things that others say or do, which makes you very angry and affects your work. It's natural for all of us to care about how others perceive us, but we cannot please everyone. When you reflect on these things, it brings about an emotional response and creates a vicious cycle where you keep thinking about it. When we think about these things, we can reduce our focus on our emotions and continue to focus on our work. By reducing our attention, we can reduce the emotional response and maybe help us continue working. You can also try putting a rubber band around your wrist. When you find yourself thinking about something negative, give the rubber band a slight pull, and tell yourself \"stop\". Take a short break and then continue working. In life, we are all influenced by others. We can't change what others say or do, and if it affects us and we can't change them, maybe we can change our perspective on the matter. For example, how they speak and behave is often influenced by their own life experiences and sometimes it's just habitual expression without realizing it might be hurtful to others. Everyone has their own shortcomings, and we should accept them from our hearts as they are part of our lives. Find your own strengths, give yourself positive encouragement, and add color to your life in various ways. I hope the above content can be helpful to you. Take care!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You said you have too many negative emotions and can't help but think of negative things. First, we need to accept our negative emotions and allow them to stay with us for a while, which means embracing our emotions. They at least remind us of what happened, what our thoughts and feelings are about it, what kind of fantasies and fears it triggers in our hearts. Emotions generally consist of two parts, negative emotions and positive emotions. We are used to accepting our positive emotions, but when it comes to negative emotions, we feel afraid and ashamed. This may be because we identify with our parents and have observed their attitudes and actions towards negative emotions since childhood. It may also be influenced by the attitudes of people around us, including teachers and classmates, towards negative emotions, or even the societal reactions to emotions. Regardless of the reasons, we have developed a lack of recognition and acceptance towards negative emotions. Emotions can affect a person's cognitive function, so you often think of negative things. You gave an example: \"For example, when someone says something to me or does something, I get very angry.\" It seems to have formed a vicious cycle that lasts for a long time and affects your daily functioning. You also mentioned that you have been experiencing hair loss for ten years. How does this situation affect you? How do you see yourself? How do you evaluate yourself? Due to limited information and your privacy, I cannot provide further explanation here. I suggest seeking help from a counselor to help you understand your situation, learn to cope with negative emotions, and improve your current situation. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 4490
 },
 {
  "question": "I am a girl, but I have developed feelings for a female classmate, what should I do?",
  "description": "I am a sophomore this year, and I have developed feelings for one of my female friends. We sit together in our dorm and in class, and I pay close attention to everything she does. I can't help but sneak glances at her when she is writing, and when I do, I become embarrassed and my heart beats fast. I didn't realize that this is what liking someone feels like until another boy confessed his feelings to her, and it made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know the boy personally, so my discomfort isn't because I like him. Whenever she tucks her hair behind her ears, my heart beats faster. When she sits next to me, I can't concentrate in class because she's all I can think about. Sometimes when we eat together, and she leans over to talk to me, I become absent-minded. I'm nervous every time I help her rub her back. I've indirectly asked her about her views on homosexuality, and she said she doesn't dislike it. She believes that everyone has the right to choose their own partner or to not choose at all, but she herself is not homosexual. Recently, she caught a cold with a headache and a fever. When she is in pain and tears well up in her eyes, I find it strangely satisfying. I want to see her cry. Am I sick?",
  "keywords": "Love, affection",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~ First, let me give you an encouraging hug. I really understand how you feel. There are two related concepts regarding homosexuality: one is homosexuality, also known as same-sex love or same-sex attraction. It includes both homosexual men and homosexual women, who are individuals that only have romantic and sexual feelings towards people of the same gender. The other concept is same-sex sexual behavior, which refers to engaging in sexual activities with someone of the same gender. Sexual orientation is related to sexual pleasure, but it does not equal to sexual behavior. A heterosexual person may engage in same-sex sexual behavior, and a homosexual person may engage in opposite-sex sexual behavior, under special circumstances. I don't know if you feel attracted to guys. To determine if you are homosexual, you need to observe from multiple perspectives. It cannot be generalized based on a few things. I recommend that you seek help from a school counselor or a professional psychological counselor. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 1275
 },
 {
  "question": "I have been behaving inconsistently and secretly suffered a lot of frustration.",
  "description": "During my time with my former colleague, we used to have meals and chat together after work. Even after I left the job, we continued to stay in touch and share our experiences with blind dates. However, I discovered that her viewpoints were not worthy of learning from as they were often negative and one-sided. She had a very low response rate on WeChat, probably because she was busy. When I invited her to travel, she declined. She also said that she was too thin for a massage. Sometimes, when she had free time, we would talk for hours over voice messages. But overall, I don't need this kind of friend and I keep telling myself not to contact her so frequently. The only acceptable way to spend time with her is to chat and have a meal around her workplace after finishing work. It had been a long time since we last contacted each other, but last night I got really anxious and invited her out. I delayed my bedtime from 7 pm to 12 am. It felt like I was a parent taking her out to eat and have fun. When I think about it, what have I gained from this? It was all for vanity, just because she casually said I didn't need to make plans, and that we could meet after work. Now I'm in the county, but when I think of her words, I invited her. The next day, I regretted it. Why did I take her words to heart and act upon them, even though I had decided to cut ties with her? I don't like trying to please her and fulfill her needs while she often fails to understand mine. I have suffered silently so much because of her casual remarks. She once suggested finding a job that pays 2,000 to 3,000 dollars a month with weekends off, and I quit my job, but she didn't follow through with it.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, empathy",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "#She mentioned finding a job that pays 2-3 thousand with weekends off, but I quit, and she didn't#She might have understood your needs and responded accordingly. This is a way of meeting the other person's needs in interpersonal relationships; this approach is great for establishing an \"intimate\" relationship in the early stages. But over time, you will realize that this conformity is not really doing \"good\" for you, it's just going along with your \"mental\" needs and recognizing your \"needs.\" Essentially, what you need at this stage is a \"person,\" and she happens to \"fit\" that role. In the entire description, the person expressing the \"needs\" is you, and she is only choosing what fits her within the needs you presented. If you don't want to be \"taken advantage of,\" you can handle it well by simply not \"contacting\" her. If you proactively end the relationship, you won't have any of these issues. But the real question is, when you don't \"contact\" her, what will you do? What do you want to do? In contrast to facing \"yourself\" alone after work, you are simply choosing her to \"accompany\" you, right? Can I understand it this way? If you need to communicate, you can leave a message or private message me.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It sounds like she is someone who has clear boundaries in interpersonal relationships, while you don't. Interpersonal boundaries mean that you are you, and we can be together when we need to, but we can also not be together. I can invite you, and you can refuse, I can invite you again, and you can refuse again, and of course, I can also stop inviting you. Simply put, every decision you make can come from your own heart, and you can be very frank without feeling uncomfortable. For example, she can say something, and you can choose to listen or not, but when you choose to listen, you are responsible for your choice. But it feels like your discomfort is saying, \"You should be responsible for my discomfort.\" Take a closer look. After you quit, your contact with each other is limited. Based on your judgment, you think you don't need this friend anymore, but you can desperately look for her, delay your sleep time, and treat her to food and drinks. So you have to ask yourself, what is your inner voice when you do these things? In simple terms, your rationality tells you that you don't need this person, but your inner self drives you to do these things. Why is that? Is the discomfort you mentioned due to your own wilfulness leading to unpleasant experiences? If so, you can try to calm down and have a dialogue with yourself and your inner self to find out what you really think. Obviously, it was unpleasant afterwards, but why are you still so enthusiastic to do it, to respond? If you can't solve it on your own, you can try seeking consultation.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1484
 },
 {
  "question": "How can social anxiety be changed for someone who is unable to fit into a group?",
  "description": "I feel that I cannot fit in with the group and have some symptoms of social anxiety. How can I change myself?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hugs to the topic! Social anxiety disorder is a phenomenon that many people experience. It is a common condition characterized by fear of social interaction and internal fear in crowded places. How can we overcome or improve this state? Firstly, in a larger environment, you don't need to get to know everyone. Try to find one or two friends you are familiar with. Then, you can express yourself through your thoughts to them or those trustworthy people around you, thus expanding your circle. Actively express yourself and believe that there are people waiting for you to actively seek them out, as they are also waiting for someone to approach and talk to them. In daily life, practice interacting and communicating with different people, and gradually you will become courageous and no longer have social anxiety.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you regarding what you mentioned about feeling unable to fit in with a group and having some fear of society. I can relate deeply to that. I have also been told before that I don't fit in. At the time, I felt very uncomfortable psychologically and felt a bit fearful and resistant in crowded situations and didn't know how to communicate with strangers. I don't know the specific details of your situation, but these are some of my experiences and feelings. First of all, every behavior and emotion is not without reason. There are often specific events behind them that have an impact on ourselves. I suggest trying to recall if there were any specific events in your past experiences that gave you negative feelings, and be aware of your thoughts during those events, trying to change your thoughts and look at them from an observer's perspective. Secondly, the impact of the events has already occurred, causing social anxiety. Learn to accept it and think about how you can change. I suggest going out more (to gradually adapt to the social environment), observing how others live and communicate with others, and also discussing with your family and friends how to communicate with others better and fit into a group (learning from others' experiences). Finally, I want to say that actually, everyone inevitably has some fearful feelings, just the degree and object of fear are different. Since the fearful emotions have already arisen, accept them and see what they represent behind them. Not all fearful emotions are bad; they are a human instinct that can protect ourselves and remind us to avoid dangerous situations. These are some of my thoughts, and I hope they can be helpful to you. Don't forget, the world loves you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21642
 },
 {
  "question": "\"Doing assignments or taking tests, afraid of others seeing my answers beside me?\"",
  "description": "I always feel afraid that the person next to me will see my answers or the process of doing the questions when I study and do exercises. Actually, I know that others are also doing their own questions. When two people sit together to do the questions, I will have a headache during the process, whether we are doing the same set of questions or not. It has been going on for a while. While trying to restrain myself from thinking like this and concentrate on doing the questions, it doesn't matter if others see mine. At the same time, I have to do the questions and look at them. My head hurts a lot. How can I solve this? I want to be able to focus on doing my own questions and stop thinking like this. Please, can the teacher help me with this?",
  "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug. When I'm doing a test or solving questions, I also feel afraid of others seeing my answers, although it doesn't seem as pronounced as what you described. The fear of being seen is actually quite normal. We can understand it as a fear of others stealing our hard work or a fear of others seeing our study material and possibly thinking our answers are not well written or full of mistakes. It might just be a way to protect our \"privacy\". So, once you find the underlying reasons behind your behavior, you can make adjustments. You can try to think a few steps further, \"I don't want others to see because...\" At the same time, you can also see if you have similar issues in other aspects of life. For example, do you feel afraid of others watching how you eat when having a meal together? Keep exploring and uncovering the underlying reasons, and you'll be able to improve your behavior. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "First, look for the reasons within yourself and ask yourself how well you communicate with your classmates on a daily basis. Is there mutual interaction? Just like encountering unfamiliar problems that you don't know how to solve, it is only through more exposure that you can find ways to solve them. Step out of your comfort zone in your daily life and try to understand from the perspective of an observer how your classmates feel when facing the situations you encounter. Imagine that it is just helping you control a part of your anxious emotions, and if you want to overcome them, you need to find real-life scenes to experience and break through. Adapt and learn to accept that there are different ways of existence.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16386
 },
 {
  "question": "I have a best friend who is 13 years old, but why do I always feel like we are both homosexual?",
  "description": "I am fourteen years old and we are best friends. The two of us have a very good and intimate relationship. We often feel like hugging each other and it's really hard to be apart. When we meet, we have to stick together and hold hands all the time. Last time when I slept over at her house, we even slept while hugging each other. We like our faces touching and any intimate actions. I suspect that we may be homosexual. Am I right?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP~\u203bWhat is homosexuality? Homosexuality, also known as same-sex love, is one of the sexual orientations. It refers to individuals who only have love and sexual desire for the same sex. Individuals with this sexual orientation are called homosexuals. Same-sex sexual behavior is also common in other animals apart from humans, but it is different from human homosexuality, which is based on higher emotions. This is also a specific manifestation of human diversity. Homosexuality has three distinct meanings: homosexual inclination, homosexual behavior, and homosexual rights movement (or LGBT movement). Sexual orientation can only be determined by oneself through one's own intuition, feelings of attraction, and emotional desires, and others cannot judge it. Generally speaking, sexual orientation does not have a fixed correspondence with sexual behavior. From the perspective of love, different views on love determine whether people prefer to be in a relationship with the same sex or opposite sex. So, whether you are homosexual or not is largely determined by your own emotional orientation. Some homosexuals become aware of their sexual orientation at the age of 12, while some continue to explore their sexual orientation and gradually determine it between the ages of 12 and 16. The vast majority of homosexuals have a clear understanding of their sexual orientation at the age of 20. However, some homosexuals may suddenly realize and firmly believe in their sexual orientation at the age of 40-50. It is also very important to note that homosexuality is not abnormal or a psychological problem. It is a normal expression of human emotions, just like heterosexuality, except that the emotional focus is on people of the same sex. It is essential to recognize this and not let it affect your self-awareness. The above is my analysis and suggestion, hoping it helps you! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13152
 },
 {
  "question": "How can I maintain a relationship with my biological family in a household like mine?",
  "description": "At the age of 21, when I was 19, my father and stepmother had a daughter who is 19 years younger than me. I didn't want to have contact with their family and just wanted to maintain my relationship with my father alone. However, my father would force me to meet with them, even though I didn't want to. He would coerce me by saying that the child is innocent and when I refuse to accept the relationship, he would say that I am not wanted if I don't want to accept it. During arguments, he often accuses me of talking back and considers any questioning of him as defiance. He would yell at me to leave and demand that I give back the keys to the house. When I was younger, he would often say that I was a burden to him and that he only raised me because my mother didn't want me.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Let me summarize the three key points you mentioned: your father used to say that you were a burden when you were a child, which might have made you feel redundant; your father has remarried and has children of his own, and he forces you to accept them, threatening to disown you if you don't, resulting in many conflicts; you still rely on your father emotionally and want to maintain the relationship you had before. I'm being direct, so you need to be prepared: your father has already started a new family, and that's a fact you need to learn to accept. Going back to the way things were with your father is no longer possible. So, if you want to maintain a relationship with your father, you need to find a different way to get along. You're already 21 years old, and I don't know if you're working, but if you are, you can move out to avoid direct conflicts. This will also give you some inner space to accept your current father and your half-sister. Actually, I am very against using the term \"stepmother\" because a mother is only one and irreplaceable, regardless of whether they are biological or step. You can think of your mother's partner as an aunt and not force yourself to accept her as your \"mother\". Your father's forceful approach is wrong. From the sentence \"he only raised you because your mother didn't want you\", it can be inferred that there may be some resentment between your parents. These resentments are between your parents and have nothing to do with you. You have no right to interfere or judge because they are adults and you are not. You can continue to maintain a connection with your mother and not let the resentment between your parents affect you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16682
 },
 {
  "question": "What should I do if my friend does not understand \"first courtesy, then force\" and does not respect others? She's very annoying.",
  "description": "She doesn't know how to respect others. When my hair fell onto the lower bunk, she didn't remind me and instead pulled my hair and blanket before telling me that my hair/blanket fell. I scolded her, saying that she doesn't know the concept of \"peace before war,\" reminding others before taking action. She was criticized but still hasn't changed. I really want to scold her. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts, roommates, classmates.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello. When we don't understand someone's behavior, it's possible that we haven't considered the situation from their perspective. Our own beliefs may seem absurd and laughable to others. From your description, it's clear that you feel annoyed and bothered by your friend's way of \"reminding\" you. You believe that she should have first given you a heads up and then decided whether to use actions to support her words. Your friend's approach is completely the opposite, and even after you've reminded her, she hasn't changed. When your hair or blanket falls onto the lower bunk, it's up to the other person whether they want to remind you or not. And her choice to remind you or pull at it may be an unconscious response, or she may think that this is the only way to make you remember to be more careful next time. Or she may just be teasing you, finding it amusing, like some boys when they were younger, seeing a friend's underwear showing, they wouldn't directly tell him but instead pull his pants down to let him know. The key is to understand the other person's way of behaving and then express your feelings, letting them know that you appreciate their reminder but that the way they did it made you uncomfortable and irritated. Instead of verbally attacking them in a joking manner, which might make them not take it too seriously. Using an accusatory approach won't help them understand your feelings and might even make things worse. So, it's better to have a serious and sincere conversation before you reach a point of anger and frustration. Adjust your own words and actions based on their response. If she says it was well-intentioned, you can start by thanking her and then express that if this kind of well-intentioned behavior makes you unhappy, maybe you don't need her to remind you, or if she does verbally remind you and you don't react, she can lightly touch your hair or blanket afterwards or give a stern look at the bed to let you know, instead of the disrespectful way she is doing it currently. In summary, it's important to consider the other person's approach to problem-solving and their character when you evaluate their behavior. Express your feelings and expectations to them, as this is the key to good communication and maintaining the relationship. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20420
 },
 {
  "question": "Obsessive-compulsive personality, is it treated with medication or through psychological counseling?",
  "description": "I am an excavator operator. After work, even though I turn off the excavator, I constantly worry that it might not be turned off and I run back to check. After confirming that everything is fine, when I walk to the gate of the construction site, I start to worry again if it is turned off. Sometimes this cycle repeats several times, and it's really painful. I am very cautious in doing things, especially when I need to make decisions. I constantly hesitate and feel anxious, making it difficult for me to make decisions quickly.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ \u203b From your description, I understand that you have a compulsive need to check if your vehicle is turned off while at work. Even though you logically know that it is turned off, you are unable to act accordingly. Currently, you are experiencing symptoms of both obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, which are indeed indicative of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Severe OCD behaviors do require medication intervention, but a professional diagnosis of your behavior is necessary to determine the appropriate course of action. Prior to a formal diagnosis or if your condition is not severe, I do not recommend immediate medication treatment. Instead, you can consider seeking psychological counseling first. OCD is a stubborn cognitive disorder and it can be challenging to change one's behavior through personal efforts alone. I suggest finding a counselor who specializes in OCD for psychological intervention, which may be helpful. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Maybe you can try: 1. In the verification process, double-check carefully. When you remember and want to verify again, replay the scene in your mind where you verified carefully earlier so you don't have to go again. 2. Being overly cautious stems from fear of making mistakes. People are not perfect, people are not gods, and others are not as harsh as you imagine. Relax a little and allow yourself to have times when you don't do well. Best wishes! FF.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 6522
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do I always feel angry and even think about dying?",
  "description": "I want to die, I want to commit suicide, I want to be mocked by others, and be physically and verbally abused. Yes, I am used to it.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I'm not sure what happened to make you so unhappy, but sending warm hugs to you. Your message is quite brief, so I'll share some of my thoughts. 1. You mentioned being mocked and verbally abused, and I can sense that you've been greatly hurt and haven't received the respect you deserve. At this point, I suggest seeking help promptly, documenting any incidents, and if necessary, resorting to legal measures to protect your rights. 2. You mentioned getting used to it, which suggests that you've endured this kind of harm more than once, but it's difficult for you to bear, isn't it? When it comes to negative behavior, don't get used to it. Brave and protect yourself. It's normal to feel angry when bullied, but besides anger, it's important to know how to protect yourself. I hope this can be of help to you. Best wishes! The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4727
 },
 {
  "question": "Sometimes, I even feel like a stranger to my ex-boyfriend.",
  "description": "He is always able to understand and tolerate me no matter what I do. Besides being a little frustrating, I also don't understand him at all. Sometimes I even feel like he is a stranger and that he is stubborn and inflexible. Is it my problem? He never talks about his feelings.",
  "keywords": "Love, love management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "After reading your description, I understand your feelings, and I hope my words can bring you a little warmth. First, big hugs to you~ Let's analyze together: You said that Lou Lou can understand and tolerate everything you do. This shows that he loves you very much and loves everything about you. Only someone who truly loves you can be infinitely understanding and tolerant. You also said that you don't understand him at all, sometimes even feeling he is unfamiliar and stubborn, and that he seems inflexible. How long have you been together? If you don't understand each other in a short period of time and even feel unfamiliar, it means that your communication is not enough. You can communicate with each other more and find out the problem. You mentioned that he never talks about his feelings. Does Lou Lou know if he is someone who doesn't talk much? When communicating with him, Lou Lou can guide him to express his feelings. These are my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11980
 },
 {
  "question": "27-year-old man, in the past six months, I feel like my family is trying to create mental illness.",
  "description": "The title is exaggerated. In the past few months, my house has been under renovation, which has made me feel very divided and at a loss in my close relationships. My parents passed away a few years ago, so I expected other family members to help me with the renovation, and they joined in. Some gave me advice, and sometimes they accompanied me to buy things. Because I felt that my girlfriend had never been involved in renovations before, she didn't participate much in the process. The renovation is nearing its end, but I feel very uncomfortable. In their eyes, I am obedient and easy to control. Even though I provided the money, I wasn't able to make many decisions, and my ideas were often rejected. I also don't really like the final result of the renovation. Everyone has different opinions, which makes me feel like there are conflicting voices in my head. Yesterday, my girlfriend complained about not having a say in the renovation, which made me even more conflicted, hence the feeling in the title. Questions: 1. Is it because of my obedient image that they find it easy to control me and disregard my feelings and thoughts? I'm scared of authority figures getting angry, which may be related to my mother's strict upbringing and makes me hesitant to express myself after being denied? 2. Why am I currently feeling divided? I think it may be because I consider everything they say to be important and don't filter it out.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: It seems like the 27-year-old boy has been through a lot. The strictness of his parents during his childhood may have caused him to be unable to do things according to his own wishes or in a rigid manner. When you hope for their help at crucial moments, is it because you trust them? But not being able to make decisions about your own house renovation makes you uncomfortable, right? Let's slowly analyze and understand the problem: 1. The title has an exaggerated element. In the past few months, your house has been undergoing renovation, which makes you feel that your close relationships are divided and you are at a loss. Your parents passed away a few years ago, so you expected other family members to help you, and they joined in. Some helped you with ideas, and some accompanied you in buying things. Because you feel that your girlfriend has no experience in renovations, she basically didn't participate in the process. (After your parents passed away, other family members became closer to you in your mind, so it's understandable to seek help during the renovation. It's because you feel that your girlfriend has no experience in renovations that she didn't participate. I would like to ask, is it because she didn't want to participate or because you didn't invite her to join?) 2. The renovation is nearing completion, but you feel very uncomfortable. Because in their eyes, you are obedient and easily controlled. Even though you are the one paying, many things were not decided by you, and your ideas were rejected by them. The result of the renovation is not to your liking in some areas. (Hmm, I understand. You originally wanted your relatives to help, but it turned out that they took charge instead. It's your own house, and not being able to have a say in the renovation definitely makes you feel uncomfortable. If it were me, I would feel the same way.) 3. Everyone's opinions are not the same, causing you to constantly have conflicting thoughts in your mind. Yesterday, your girlfriend complained about not having a say in the renovation, which made you even more divided, hence the feeling in the title. (With so many relatives giving advice and your girlfriend also complaining, combined with your image of being obedient and easily controlled, you feel torn, hence the feeling of being divided. Let's confront the problems: 1. Is it because my obedient image makes them feel that I am easily controlled, resulting in them disregarding my feelings and thoughts? I am afraid of authority figures and this fear might be related to my mother's strict upbringing, causing me to be reluctant to express myself after being rejected. ~~~ Having an obedient image does give the other person that impression, but I think they also have good intentions, otherwise you wouldn't have turned to them, right? Perhaps in their personalities, it's better to express your thoughts to them candidly. But just because you are afraid of authority, you can't express yourself, so you might have silently endured many things. And this is where the problem lies. 2. Why is there a feeling of division at the moment? I think it might be because I consider all of their words important without filtering them? ~~~ You have thoughts about the various opinions of your relatives, but you have been enduring them for a long time, your girlfriend previously didn't participate, and then blaming you, and your own hidden tolerance, all exploded together, resulting in a feeling of division. Because you don't know whose opinion to listen to. Hmm, you didn't express your true feelings in a timely manner, and you couldn't objectively view the suppression of authority, which led to this feeling. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you fearlessness and soon overcome the darkness in your heart! If you have any specific worries, feel free to message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I will answer your questions directly. 1. The reasons why relatives may not consider your thoughts and feelings are: first, because you expect them to help you, so they give you suggestions and buy things for you, thinking they are helping you. Second, your obedient image may make them think that you are not good at making decisions, so they make decisions for you. Third, each of them has different opinions, which is normal because they don't know what you want and they have different aesthetics, so they each follow their own ideas. 2. Yes, it may be related to your original family, being afraid of authority and anger, forming a behavior pattern of not daring to express yourself after denial. 3. I guess the feeling of split is because your true self and the self you show are inconsistent. You want to do things you like, but you are afraid of others denying and disapproving. You show agreement to others, so they think you are compliant and give you more suggestions and demands, which makes it even more difficult for you to be yourself, creating a vicious cycle. My advice is to start now and establish your own boundaries and a stable core self, and start being yourself. This is a long process that requires getting to know yourself, knowing who you are, believing in yourself, giving yourself support and love. When you have established a stable and strong core self and set up boundaries, you can allow yourself to express yourself authentically and allow others to have different opinions from yours, and then in the end, you can make choices for yourself. This is also a stage I have been through. Now I can truly be myself, allow others to be themselves, allow them to give suggestions, but ultimately choose what I want.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After the death of your parents, other family members have become your support and dependence. You hope that they can provide appropriate help for you. This is an invitation for them to enter your house and make decisions. This involves the issue of the extent of their help. Perhaps you didn't make it clear what specific things you want them to help you with, or maybe they didn't understand your needs and boundaries. They think you lack experience and may make decisions for you based on their own experiences. This has a lot to do with your attitude. If you are certain about what you want, they cannot make decisions for you. Many of your ideas may be rejected by them because of your uncertainty or unwillingness to take responsibility. Often, making decisions means taking full responsibility for the consequences, whether they are good or bad. Furthermore, your family members' help is probably well-intentioned, and they may not realize that you have so much inner turmoil. They suggest things, take you shopping, and genuinely want to help you, not control you, after all, it is you who will live in the house. Therefore, your persistence and certainty are crucial. Your girlfriend's complaints are reasonable. After all, she is the future lady of the house, right? It's only natural for the future lady not to be happy if she cannot have a say about the living environment. Even though she may not understand renovation, her opinion should be sought regarding the use of the house, especially the convenience and functionality of the kitchen, bathroom, and living areas. It's a basic form of respect. Unless you have a serious case of rigid gender roles or she is not the future lady of the house, this matter is quite severe.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: 1. Is it easy for them to control my obedient image, causing them to disregard my feelings and thoughts? It may be related to my mother's strict upbringing, which makes me reluctant to express myself after being denied. - The premise of control is authorization. When you authorize others to control your capital, they naturally have the right to control you. Without authorization, there is no control. If you let other family members handle the decoration, it will definitely be chaotic because they may not be professionals in decoration. Non-professionals will inevitably mess up what professionals should do. Just like if you let a chef cut hair, it will definitely be messy. Conversely, if you let a hairdresser cook, it will also be messy. So what should you do? Let the chef handle the cooking, and let the hairdresser handle the haircutting. There is a saying: \"[Leave] professional matters to professionals.\" Let a professional decoration company handle the decoration. Have a direct discussion with the company to specify how things should be done, and the company will draw a design based on your requirements. After confirming your satisfaction, the decoration process can begin. 2. Why do I currently have a sense of division? I think it may be because I don't filter their words and consider all of them important? - The reason for division is that when encountering a problem, you are unable to solve it and instead create a chain of problems. Instead of focusing on the aftermath, it is better to focus on the preconditions. For example, who created this problem is a precondition. Only by focusing on preconditions can similar problems be avoided in the future.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "One. In Episode 17 of \"A Love Apartment 5,\" Hu Yifei goes on a business trip (her husband Zeng Xiaoxian works in another city) and leaves the finishing work of their marital home to Zhao Haitang. Based solely on a few sketches she made when bored and the preferences of everyone, Zhao Haitang decorates the new house in an incredibly eccentric manner, causing Zeng Xiaoxian to faint in anger. This shows that everyone has different requirements, levels of appreciation, and perspectives on issues. Your relatives may find it practical, grand, and upscale, while you feel it's tacky. You said they \"give me ideas and sometimes go with me to buy things.\" Honestly speaking, weren't they the ones who put in the most effort and did most of the work? While the two of you were leisurely, occasionally checking on the progress, right? If they didn't get any practical benefits from this decoration, and yet willingly did this thankless task, it can only mean that they treat you like family, as loved ones, without expecting anything in return. Your lack of effort, along with your girlfriend's complaints, is really hurtful. Two. If you think that because you contributed money and didn't achieve the ideal result you had in mind, they took advantage of you and controlled and bullied you... Did you have these thoughts before, or did they only arise during the renovation? If you always felt that they were bullying you, why didn't you hire a professional renovation company? Before asking for help from relatives, why didn't you draw \"renderings\" or fully communicate in advance? Write it down on paper? Even if something unsuitable was discovered midway, there was still time to make changes, so why didn't you notice it? And if you did notice, why didn't you insist on your own opinions and correct it in a timely manner? Now that you're unsatisfied and complaining, can it change the established fact? Both of you need to reflect on your own issues during this process in order to truly mature, take responsibility, and be able to deal with things. Three. Your problems: 1. Using the lack of parental help as an excuse for not wanting to do things naturally, but not everyone is born with that ability. However, now there are many ways to learn and understand. My female colleague, after work and on weekends, went to the renovation market to compare and buy materials, searched for renderings online, looked at model houses everywhere, and searched online for what problems she might encounter during renovation and how to solve them and \"avoid pitfalls.\" She made herself into half an expert and her house turned out exactly as she had dreamed. The problems you mentioned: 1. Is my obedient image easy to control for them, causing them to disregard my feelings and thoughts? I'm afraid of authority, which may be related to my mother's strict upbringing, causing me to be unwilling to express myself after being denied? 2. Why do I currently feel a sense of division? I think it might be because I treat everything they say as important. Your lack of ability and your girlfriend's various complaints and nagging, coincidentally, you are also not very satisfied with the house, and you have no power to change it. Nowhere to escape, you can only constantly find an outlet from your own character flaws and complain about the \"imaginary enemy\". But if you were responsible and capable, you wouldn't think like that. Four, solving the problem is key. 1. The two of you probably only had a vague idea of a satisfactory renovation, without any specific plans or arrangements. You just hoped for perfection, but what is perfection? It's not clear. The two of you also may not have reached a consensus on the overall style of each major area and every small corner of the house. 2. If you can't stand it, then let your relatives go home, and that's it. If your financial situation allows, hire a new renovation team and keep renovating until the unsatisfactory aspects are fixed. 3. If your financial situation doesn't allow it, only fix the areas you really can't stand. Both of you can spend time going out to look at model houses, search online for renderings, especially take a look at how Japanese rooms are utilized, organized, and transformed. There's a saying, \"There are no ugly women, only lazy women\", the same applies to home improvement. It depends on whether you have the intention and willingness to work hard. Your own house, redesigned and decorated together by the two of you, will carry your memories in every corner. It will not only enhance the cohesion of your family but also allow you to understand each other better and cultivate a sense of shared responsibility.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the paragraph says: \n\nHello, everyone has a split part. When you want one thing and another at the same time, it becomes difficult to choose. Just like how you may want the help of your relatives, but also want to have your own opinion. How can these two needs be fulfilled? Who gets to live in the house in the end? Who is responsible? If this is the house you and your wife are going to live in, then naturally it should be decorated according to your preferences. Others may give suggestions and then leave, but you and your wife are the ones who need to live there. Are you uncomfortable because the house decoration doesn't meet your expectations, or is it because others haven't considered your opinion? It seems like you want the assistance of your relatives because it feels like they are replacing the role of parents, as if you are being cared for by someone. Does this care have to be realized through decorating the house? Are the suggestions they give what you want? What would happen if you didn't use their suggestions? Do you have any concerns? Who will you be living with in the future? What kind of life do you envision? Which way of interacting do you think is more important? Many dissatisfactions come from one or more unfulfilled expectations. Prioritize these expectations and see which one is more important. Then you may know what to do. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Everyone grows up gradually by doing things. You mentioned that you asked your family for help during the renovation process, and they gave you their advice on certain matters. At the time, you listened to them, but now you feel somewhat dissatisfied. You didn't express your thoughts at the time, but if a similar situation arises again in the future where family members offer their opinions, you should express your own views. This is what you have learned from it. Can you explain the specific feeling of division at the moment? In the future, you can actually learn a lot from this renovation experience, such as being open to others' opinions but ultimately making your own decisions and taking responsibility for the consequences.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18279
 },
 {
  "question": "Why am I becoming more and more indifferent and selfish? I don't even feel sad when a loved one passes away.",
  "description": "When I was young, my parents used to scold me all the time. Unfortunately, in middle school, I experienced a campus violence incident where I was isolated by my dormitory classmates. During this period of campus violence, my parents didn't stop scolding me either. It was very painful every day. Is there something wrong with me psychologically?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear readers! I have the same feeling as you. Due to a lack of love during my childhood and my parents' divorce, I was raised with minimal emotional connection to them. My father passed away last year, and I barely shed a tear. I handled all the funeral arrangements myself, and afterwards, I felt guilty and wondered why I was so emotionally detached. But because of this emotional detachment, I was able to handle my father's affairs rationally (without anyone's help). I even managed to pass the intermediate-level economic exam while my father was seriously ill, without it affecting my mood. His death didn't have much impact on my daily life either. Everyone has their own way of coping with life. It is normal to have a diminished emotional connection to parents due to childhood experiences. However, I still fulfilled my filial duty by seeing him off, and I believe that after my father's passing, he would also want us to live well and not be immersed in emotions. I am still grateful to my parents, but being indifferent to life and death is also a good thing.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Experiencing emotional abuse from parents since childhood can make a child afraid to open the valve of emotional exchange and also afraid to have a need for warm emotions. Over time, emotions become isolated. However, humans are emotional creatures. They need nourishment from emotional communication to feel fulfilled and loved, to feel valued. When you lack this part, you become, as you said, \"increasingly indifferent and selfish,\" and you may not even be able to naturally express sadness when a loved one passes away. This is surely very painful. When you become aware of this problem and begin to question whether it is unhealthy, it is a very positive realization. Improving emotional expression can be dealt with through psychological counseling or slowly opening your heart to trusted individuals in your life, telling them about your pain and grievances. When the pain that you cannot resolve is accepted and dealt with, your heart will gradually become warm. May your life be filled with joy and may you experience the beauty of life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11111
 },
 {
  "question": "Is it a sickness for a 32-year-old woman to have a fear of dating and marriage?",
  "description": "After knowing each other for six months, our parents urged us to meet and discuss marriage. However, we have now realized that neither of us really cares about the other. It has been two weeks since we last saw each other, and the thought of his face only makes me more annoyed. After a deep conversation, we have decided to take a break and calm down. Is it necessary to continue this relationship? Each of my relationships never lasts longer than six months. Am I \"sick\"?",
  "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP~ \u203b I have been with my boyfriend for six months, and under the pressure of our parents, we met each other. We even put marriage on the agenda. But now we realize that neither of us really cares about each other. It's been half a month since we last saw each other, and whenever I think of his face, I feel more and more annoyed. After a deep conversation, we decided to take a temporary break and calm down. Is it necessary to continue? Only you know whether a relationship is worth pursuing or not. Finding the answer to this question is actually simple. Ask yourself, are you happier or unhappier when you're with him? When you're apart, do you miss him or feel relieved? Answer these two questions and you will have the answer in your heart. Older generations believe that as long as two people can have children together, emotions can be nurtured over time. But only we ourselves know whether we should be together or not, just as only we know if a pair of shoes fit or not. Whether to persist or not depends on whether you are willing to compromise or stay true to yourself! \u203b Every relationship lasts no more than half a year. Am I \"sick\"? The length of a relationship cannot be used as a criterion for determining whether one is \"sick\". If you haven't found someone you truly like, it's useless to persist for any longer. When you know that you don't have feelings for each other, it's responsible to break up in a timely manner. So, don't doubt yourself just because your actions don't meet other people's expectations. After all, it's already difficult enough to find someone who genuinely loves you. Why should you make it harder for yourself to please others? Love is yours, just follow your heart! If you get it, you're lucky. If you don't, it's fate! Relationships come and go, as time goes on! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 12228
 },
 {
  "question": "Is it obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) to join numerous groups with similar functions, such as n number of groups?",
  "description": "Joining multiple groups, is it obsessive-compulsive disorder? Need to spend time every day to check. ",
  "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, hypochondria.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a condition where meaningless thoughts or impulses that go against one's own will repeatedly intrude into a patient's daily life. Although patients recognize that these thoughts or impulses originate from within themselves and try to resist them, they are unable to control them. The intense conflict between the thoughts or impulses and the patient's efforts to resist them causes significant anxiety and distress, affecting their learning, work, and interpersonal relationships. Obsessive-compulsive disorder has several characteristics: firstly, the thoughts or impulses come from within the individual, not from the outside world. Secondly, carrying out the actions themselves may be unpleasant, but not carrying them out also feels unpleasant. Lastly, the thoughts or behaviors tend to recur repeatedly. Based on your description of joining many groups and feeling the need to check them every day, it cannot be simply determined whether this is obsessive-compulsive disorder. I am curious to know what specifically bothers or troubles you about joining these groups and checking them daily. Understanding this may help me provide better assistance. Take care.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 12907
 },
 {
  "question": "My boyfriend is worried that I will leave and feels insecure. What should I do?",
  "description": "My boyfriend often worries that I will leave him, to the point where he can't even sleep well. I know this is a sign that he loves me, but how can I alleviate his concerns? I really love my boyfriend, and I buy him nice things or things he might need whenever I see them. I also take care of him a lot in our daily life, and he is also very good to me. However, he has said twice that I am too good to him and it burdens him, feeling like it's all me giving and not him. I know I should restrain myself, but I just want to be good to him. I can't help but want to buy things for him every time. Another possible reason is that I have more male friends than female friends, but they all know that our relationship can only be friends and nothing more, and my boyfriend also believes that my relationship with my friends is pure and completely impossible. As for my ex, I don't have any feelings for him anymore, but occasionally we do have some contact. However, they are all unrelated and trivial matters, like asking him to help me recharge my phone or buy something for me, or just chatting casually. There is absolutely no ambiguity or suggestive language, to the point where it's even more boring and unfamiliar than chatting with friends. Could this have any impact? Should I completely cut off contact with my ex? How can I make my boyfriend believe that I only love him and will not leave him?",
  "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, it's great to have the opportunity to communicate with you! It can be very unsettling for a man to have a lot of male friends and still keep in touch with an ex-boyfriend. Here are a few suggestions: cut off contact with your ex-boyfriend, delegate tasks to your current boyfriend (such as topping up your phone credit or buying things), try to reduce the amount of time spent socializing with friends, and create more shared time between the two of you. By giving your current boyfriend more responsibilities, he will feel more valued and have a stronger sense of presence. This way, he won't constantly feel the pressure of relying on you for everything. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Take care! Public welfare mental health counselor - Xiao Feng.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3168
 },
 {
  "question": "How to heal the wounds of the original family through one's own strength?",
  "description": "The pain brought by the original family always makes me cry uncontrollably when it's quiet at night. After crying, I feel like there's another me, coming out and hugging me, telling me to be strong, to be brave, to become stronger. Then, I continue to live as if nothing happened. And then, one night, I break down and cry again. Rationally, I'm used to hiding, not wanting to expose the pain in my heart to anyone. It feels like it's only burdening others and doesn't have any meaning. What can others do to help? In the end, I can only rely on myself. Ah! Emotionally, I still hope to have someone who can give me unconditional love and support like parents. But that's impossible. So I really want to know how to rely on my own strength to heal this pain.",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Title owner, hello! I sympathize with you and give you a virtual hug. The pain caused by your family of origin always makes you cry uncontrollably in the quiet of the night. It must be very difficult for you! In most people's minds, the family of origin should be a haven, protecting their children from the storms of life. However, for some, the family of origin is the place where children are hurt the most deeply. This pain accompanies you as you move forward, making you feel vulnerable when you were originally strong and courageous. At that time, how much you wished to become strong and be able to cope with the hurts from your family of origin. The harm caused by your family of origin is their own problem, it's not your fault. It may be incorrect parenting by your parents, or perhaps unintentional harm from your family members. These are issues with how they handle their relationships within the family, and they have nothing to do with you. Perhaps when you were young, you were unable to face the hurt, but now that you have grown up, you can embrace yourself, protect yourself, and love yourself in the way that your family of origin did not give you. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Sometimes, we know we have been hurt by our family in some way, but instinctively reject this realization, which leads to isolating ourselves from our true feelings. By practicing self-compassion, you can acknowledge the harm your family of origin has caused to you to some extent and allow yourself to freely experience, process, and accept your emotions and pain. I hope that you can truly grow and flourish amidst the pain from your family of origin, and take care of yourself because you have already become strong!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! First, I want to give you a big hug, you are very brave! Try to be another version of yourself, taking care and protecting yourself. This is the process of continuously empowering oneself. Please continue to love yourself and constantly establish new external emotional motivations. There are three types of parents that can harm children: incompetent parents, controlling parents, and verbally abusive parents. Generally speaking, incompetent parents neglect their responsibilities towards their children and avoid taking responsibility for them. Controlling parents excessively control their children's lives. Verbal abusive parents often use language to belittle their children and make them feel inferior and weak. These parents are often harmful to the growth of their children. In a toxic family system, children blindly obey the family rules, magnify the responsibilities they should bear, and only focus on satisfying the needs of other family members, forgetting about their own inner needs. Therefore, they live a very tiring and painful life. If you want to eliminate the negative influence of your parents and improve your character flaws, you need to learn to vent anger and release sadness. And firmly express your own position, boldly speak out your true thoughts and beliefs. When the situation is serious, you can choose to write a letter or have a face-to-face conversation, bravely confronting your parents. Of course, the trauma caused by the original family is not something that can be resolved overnight. It is like undergoing a surgical procedure, requiring time and patience to recover. Therefore, you need enough time and patience. The process of self-repair is a gradual process. In this process, you will release the power within you, find your inner self, break free from the negative influence of toxic parents, and become the master of your own life!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The pain from one's original family can be deeply heartbreaking, and as you mentioned, it needs one's own strength to overcome this pain. However, it is important to know what specific actions can be taken. 1. Seek help. When feeling overwhelmed, apart from crying alone late at night, you can also seek help from professionals, such as therapists, to gain professional support and companionship. This is not what you worry about as \"burdening others,\" but a fair exchange using the counseling fees you have earned, so ultimately, you are still relying on your own strength. 2. Let go of expectations. You can recognize that there are expectations within yourself, which is a good starting point. Expectations mean placing hope in others, hoping they can meet your expectations and take care of you. Having expectations means still putting yourself in a position of a child or a weak person, and you will not have the strength. Only by feeling despair can you cultivate the genuine will and strength to rely on yourself. 3. Find resources. Children who grew up in unfavorable environments tend to accumulate intense emotions and develop abilities to cope with adverse circumstances. You can observe your own feelings, utilize your own abilities, and based on that, determine your position and direction in work or society, in other words, become an adult first. 4. Build emotional connections. In the process of striving to become an adult, the deep feelings within oneself will become clearer. At this time, you can seek emotional connections with others according to your own emotional needs and the support you can provide. Of course, this connection should also be with an adult. Taking care of each other, nurturing one another, and complementing each other can help you break free from the pain of the original family and become a relatively free version of yourself. Clearly, this process is not easy and requires first enduring the pain. However, it is only by enduring the pain that one can experience the subsequent certainty. Best regards, Mental Health Wang Chunguang.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug the host, seeing that you are feeling very painful because of some things that happened to you in your original family. You must feel a lot of pressure, very tired and sad. In the description, I see that every day after you cry, you feel like there is a self hugging yourself, telling yourself to be brave and continue to strengthen. It seems that you yourself also feel that the crying you is wrong and weak. During the day, you still have to continue to support yourself and keep going. Many things that have already happened, we really can't change them anymore. However, after experiencing those things, it is normal for you to feel sad, upset, and aggrieved. When hugging yourself, maybe you can try to tell yourself from a different perspective that, after experiencing so many sad times, you have been working hard. You can be sad, weak, aggrieved, and cry. The you during the day is already very strong and brave. At least in this time that belongs to you, give yourself a little time to openly be sad and experience these emotions. You should also be able to experience these emotions. Hug yourself. When you can accept your own sadness, perhaps you will have the courage to let go of yourself and dare to show a little bit of vulnerability in front of others, giving them the opportunity to embrace and care for you. However, the influence of the original family can indeed be profound, and it is difficult to make significant changes through a single answer. If you are really too sad...",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Regarding the pain brought to us by our family of origin, it may indeed accompany us for a long time, causing us to cry in the depths of the night. First, I want to say that when you want to cry in the middle of the night, just cry. When you finish crying, hug yourself and tell yourself that it's normal, accept your own vulnerability. Based on your description, you are actually a very strong person. You have been constantly encouraging yourself, which is a very positive aspect of your personality. You need to recognize this and have confidence in yourself. Love is necessary in life. From the moment we are born, the unconditional love we receive from our parents teaches us how to love others. Maybe you lacked love during your childhood, leading to your current craving for love. But do you know what? The love we receive from others does not only come from others, but also from our love for ourselves and the world. Because you love, you receive love. So, let's start by loving yourself, both the strong self during the day and the vulnerable self who cries at night. Go through each day earnestly, cherishing every little moment of life. When you have unconditional love for yourself, you will also surely receive unconditional love from others.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "A very typical problem. The key to the problem is that when faced with difficulties and feeling isolated, one especially hopes to receive reliable help. There is no easy way, but there are comparatively effective methods. As long as you have a stable job and good income, naturally you won't have too many difficulties. If you can't achieve this, you need to thoroughly examine your career and life plans. This is not a problem that can be solved with just a comment, it requires a detailed understanding.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4216
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do you need everything to go as you wish in order to be happy?",
  "description": "No matter what, I hope everything develops the way I want it to, otherwise I will get extremely angry and irritable. Why is this happening? Is it a psychological issue?",
  "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, personality traits, self-development.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "The underlying issue behind this problem is an issue of compulsion or obsessive personality, characterized by control and a lack of security. A person with a controlling nature may exhibit traits of an obsessive personality, which stems from unresolved issues during the anal stage of development. Perhaps during this stage, spouses in their respective families of origin experienced fixation and did not smoothly transition to the next stage, namely the Oedipal stage. As children, individuals are unable to control their bowel movements, so why can't I control you? As adults, they need to exert control over others to achieve psychological balance and achieve \"redemption\" within their inner selves. Blessed be you. I am here, the world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3893
 },
 {
  "question": "A 15-year-old girl feels exhausted and scared of socializing, what should I do?",
  "description": "People around me all dislike me, and I don't have any true friends. I used to crave love and attention from others, but now I just want to be alone, although I do feel lonely sometimes. Before, if someone told me they wanted to work hard with me, I would be pleasantly surprised and willing, since that's what I longed for. But now, I feel a bit moved but also reluctant in my heart. When the teacher looks at me in class, I feel uncomfortable all over, and their gaze makes me want to avoid it. When I see someone I know, I won't take the initiative to greet them, but instead go around them. I don't like standing out (for example, if I go to the cafeteria late, I won't eat because it's awkward to be the only one getting food). I feel so tired living like this. I have thought of suicide and self-harm, but I still have a bit of attachment to the beautiful things in this world, such as good food, beautiful scenery, and books. There's also no emotional connection between me and my parents. It seems like I never tell my parents about anything that happens to me since I was little (I remember when I got hurt, I never said anything, and one time when my dad was riding a bicycle with me, my foot got caught in the spokes and my shoe fell off, but I didn't make a sound. My dad only found out when a passerby told him). Every time I hear someone say they go home and talk to their parents about little and ordinary things, I feel a bit surprised and then very envious. I really feel like life is so painful, and this is not who I want to be (I am so lousy, I don't deserve it). What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, social adaptation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "People around me dislike me and I have no close friends. I used to crave love and attention from others, but now I just want to be alone, even though I sometimes feel lonely. Previously, when people told me they wanted to work hard with me, I would be pleasantly surprised and willing because that's what I desired. But now, I feel a bit touched but also reject the idea. When the teacher looks at me in class, I feel very uncomfortable and their gaze makes me want to hide. When I see someone I know, I don't greet them and I try to avoid them. I don't like standing out (for example, if I go to the cafeteria late, I won't eat because it feels awkward to be the only one getting food). I feel so tired of living, and I have thought about suicide and self-harm, but I still have a slight attachment to the beauty in the world, like good food, beautiful scenery, and books. I don't have much emotional connection with my parents, and it seems like I never share anything with them since I was young (I remember never telling them when I got hurt, and there was a time when my dad was riding a bike with me and my foot got caught in the wheel and my shoe fell off, but I didn't say a word. Later, a passerby told my dad about my lost shoe). Every time I hear someone say they go home and talk to their parents about trivial things, I feel surprised and envious. I feel that life is really difficult, and this is not the person I want to be (I'm so worthless and undeserving). What should I do, dear? You are not alone. Some people seem to have good luck and are happy, as if all good things revolve around them. And some people seem to have a dark cloud hanging over them, no matter where they go, it's always gloomy and they can't be happy. But the experiences of many people tell us that the dark clouds will eventually pass as long as we don't give up. I believe that's how you think too. It's commendable that you are willing to seek help and share your troubles! Now let's piece together your thoughts. First, try to recall when these unpleasant experiences began and at what age you started keeping things from your parents. Have there been any specific events before that? Is it due to physiological or psychological issues that you don't want to communicate with others? You mentioned that you don't have much emotional connection with your parents, and I wonder if this issue has triggered a series of subsequent problems, such as craving love but also fearing it, caring about others' opinions, and enjoying being independent. The parent-child relationship is our first connection in this world, and as individuals, we learn how to connect and communicate with the outside world through this relationship. The importance of the parent-child relationship and our original family cannot be denied. It influences how we see the world and how we identify ourselves. Since I don't have a complete understanding of your situation, I can only offer this analysis. I hope you can first think about what caused you to reject social interaction based on past experiences, try to recall, and maybe you'll find some clues. But regardless of the circumstances, at this moment, I want to tell you not to give up on yourself. Life is still beautiful, just as you mentioned, with good food, beautiful scenery, and books to accompany you, right? May you be well!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20022
 },
 {
  "question": "28-year-old girl, wants to win back her first love boyfriend of six years, but doesn't know what to do?",
  "description": "I met my boyfriend in college, and we were each other's first love. After graduation, I started working while he pursued his master's degree. After he graduated, he joined the army in our hometown as a civilian employee. Both of his parents insisted that I must have a stable job before they would agree to our marriage. My boyfriend fought for a year to take the exam, but he was resistant to this requirement and felt that marrying me just because of my job was not right. As a result, he didn't study well and missed passing the exam by five points. This led to him breaking up with me under pressure. After the breakup, a series of unpleasant issues occurred. His parents and sister didn't really like me, and we were in a long-distance relationship. I didn't consider the practical issues before and didn't communicate well, which resulted in a complete breakup. However, we still have each other's contact information. He told me that he no longer loves me, but I want to try to win him back. It has been over 20 days since our breakup, and we have been together for 6 years. I don't want to give up.",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "~The OP and her boyfriend have been in a relationship for 6 years and they are each other's first love. When they were discussing marriage, his parents insisted that she must have a stable job before they agree to marry, and his parents and sister do not particularly like her. In fact, when it comes to marriage, parents often consider practical issues and it is normal for them to have requirements for the conditions of the woman. I wonder what job the OP is doing now? Is the job stable and how is the compensation? Does the OP like this job? If the OP's original job is good and she also really likes it, but the partner's parents stubbornly require her to have a formal job, I think this is inappropriate. However, if the OP's job is not particularly good and the partner's family hopes that she has a formal job, this can be understood. After being together for 6 years, during which you must have put in a lot of effort, the OP may be very reluctant to give up. But we cannot refuse to let go just because we have put in a lot in the past. What is in the past is already gone, and what is more important to us now is the future. The OP is marrying into another family, and his parents and sister do not particularly like her, and he himself does not like you now either. Even if the OP successfully manages to salvage the relationship, can you really guarantee that your rest of the life will be happy? I hope the OP will carefully consider these practical issues before deciding whether or not to salvage the relationship.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
     {
      "start": 0,
      "end": 62,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 62,
      "end": 143,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 143,
      "end": 236,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 236,
      "end": 311,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 311,
      "end": 371,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 371,
      "end": 399,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     }
    ]
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 9165
 },
 {
  "question": "Is it normal to feel closer to a cousin than to a biological brother?",
  "description": "My younger cousin is very well-behaved. I always want to bring him food, but my younger brother is naughty. Every time I try to teach him to do his homework, he annoys the life out of me. I don't want to bother with him at all. Mom says it's not right for me to be like this... but I'm truly annoyed by my own younger brother.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I actually think that your feelings are normal. You mentioned that your cousin is very well-behaved, while your own younger brother is disobedient and always makes you angry, which is why you don't want to deal with him. In your mom's eyes, you should feel closer to your own younger brother because you have a direct blood relationship. Your relationship with your cousin is only indirect through blood. However, your mom may not understand why you like your cousin more than your own younger brother. Another reason could be that you and your cousin are not together every day, and he is well-behaved and you really like him, so you always want to bring him something delicious when you meet. But you and your own younger brother live and grow up under the same roof. You see each other every day, so it's no longer a big deal. Maybe sometimes your cousin misbehaves, but you don't have the feeling of not wanting to deal with your own younger brother. In the future, you can try to be more patient with your own younger brother and consider the issue from his perspective when teaching him. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18017
 },
 {
  "question": "15-year-old girl, always remembers the teacher she met in junior high school.",
  "description": "In the ninth grade, I encountered a teacher whom I used to communicate with more often. She even selected me to be the class representative. Actually, I have liked her a lot from the beginning, initially just in a pure way. But later, in the second semester of the ninth grade, I found that my liking for her had changed. I started thinking about her all the time and eagerly awaited her classes. I studied the subjects she taught very hard and tried to start conversations with her by asking questions. My grades did improve significantly, but I just hoped that she would pay more attention to me. Initially, she was the homeroom teacher, but later she stopped being one due to certain reasons (she still taught us, but we could only see her in class). The thought of this would make me cry for three days. Gradually, I started to lose sleep thinking about her. I even dreamt about her. I would feel really sour when I saw her having a good relationship with my classmates. Now that I have graduated, I may not see her again. Whenever I think about this, I don't know what to do. I really miss her. I don't know exactly why I like her, but my liking for her is not romantic. I just really want to have a better relationship with her, preferably as friends. I want to see her every day and talk to her every day.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, student growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Interpretation by Wu Feikong: 1. You may have developed an attachment to her. You hope to gain her attention and establish a deeper, more lasting relationship with her. Is that right? 2. Is it because her attention and encouragement give you more strength? Then, has your mother ever shown you this kind of attention and encouragement? Is she like your mother? 3. Have you ever expressed your need for encouragement to your mother in life? If not, you can try expressing your needs. If your mother cannot provide it, then we can encourage ourselves and let classmates encourage us more. 4. If you want to become good friends with her, it is not impossible. Contacting and communicating with her more is not a problem. 5. However, don't let her misunderstand and think that you like her, as she may not accept it. Having an older friend is not a bad thing. However, she has more friends than just you, you should understand this first.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14757
 },
 {
  "question": "26-year-old male, sensitive personality, unable to maintain social connections with others.",
  "description": "26 years old, male, just graduated from graduate school and about to start working. I have a sensitive personality and sometimes in social situations, although I know I should maintain relationships with others, I find it difficult to actively contact people I am not interested in. I can maintain normal conversation when face-to-face, but once we are not together, I gradually stop contacting them and I even feel embarrassed to send a New Year's greeting. Others sometimes describe me as dull, and I understand that in the future, it won't work without extensive social connections. However, I currently feel disconnected from the so-called normal social patterns. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, communication, interpersonal boundaries.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Embrace the author, the inner conflict feels very obvious. I know that without interpersonal relationships, life may become narrower and narrower, but I can't seem to muster interest in many things. How should I make a choice? Firstly, at 26 years old, male, just graduated from graduate school and about to start working. The fact that the author just graduated from graduate school indicates a good social educational background. We have accompanied you through middle school, college, and graduate school. In the text, the author did not mention relationships during other periods, but specifically mentioned how to deal with work after graduation. The author lacks confidence in future choices, and has not planned out future development well. Perhaps the author sets high expectations for their own life and fears not living up to their abilities. How do your parents explain this to you? How do they view society? Has their approach influenced your lack of confidence in the present and future society? Are you aware of it? Secondly, you are a sensitive person. Sometimes in social situations, even though you know you should maintain relationships with others, you just can't muster the enthusiasm to actively reach out to people you are not interested in. Where does your sensitive nature come from? Is it because you can't accept it when others disrespect you? Or do you hope to be noticed in group activities, afraid of being ignored or looked down upon by others? From your text, it seems that you haven't gained much in interpersonal relationships. You rarely invest in others, and without giving, there is no receiving. So you readily accept current social relationships. However, as you soon enter society, you know that without interpersonal relationships, your work and future development may become challenging. This makes you feel troubled and unsure how to handle it. Here are a few suggestions for your reference. 1. Learn to do volunteer work. Generally, people engaged in charitable activities are relatively friendly. In such circles, you can find communication skills and abilities, learn to express your needs, and also understand others' thoughts. 2. Learn to have an altruistic mindset. In life, don't overly emphasize self-interest, as this can easily lead to being abandoned in your circle of friends and being unable to find your place. Consider problems from different perspectives and think beyond your own world, view the world, and understand the world. 3. Learn to greet others. If you used to be aloof or unwilling to send messages, now you can start by sending messages and leaving comments. You can start with people you like the most and slowly build confidence in yourself. Believe in yourself, you will become better and better. Looking forward to it! I'm here, waiting for you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Based on your limited description, I would like to provide you with a preliminary analysis from a self-development perspective in the hope that it can help you. \"At the age of 26, male, just graduated from graduate school, and about to start working.\" You are currently in a transitional phase, moving from campus to the workplace, from an academic and relatively closed social circle to a diverse and complex society. It is precisely because of this growth stage that various pressures have suddenly increased. Therefore, aspects of your personality that you did not consider as problems before, such as \"being sensitive\" and having a \"limited social mode,\" have now caused you anxiety. \"Sometimes, in social situations, even though I know I should maintain relationships with others, I find it difficult to actively contact people I'm not interested in. I can maintain normal conversations when face-to-face with others, but once we are apart, I gradually stop contacting them, and I even feel embarrassed to send a simple New Year's greeting. Others sometimes describe me as distant, and I know that in the future, having broad social connections is necessary. But right now, I feel like I'm out of touch with the so-called normal social mode. What should I do?\" This situation is understandable. To be frank, I don't think your ability to handle interpersonal relationships is a big issue. You can socialize well and handle situations when necessary. However, when faced with people you're not interested in, you reduce the frequency of contact or even stop contacting them. This is partially due to your subconscious desire to narrow down your social circle and maintain genuine friendships with people you are truly interested in and get along with naturally. From the perspective of social psychology, would you prefer to have a broad and superficial network of friends or a smaller but close-knit social circle that gives you a strong sense of belonging? This question is for you to ponder. If you choose the former, you can subconsciously force yourself to stay in stable contact with most people. Engage in more communication and interaction, spend the majority of your free time on maintaining interpersonal relationships, write down or make a note of a plan to keep in touch with people, help yourself organize various social connections, and gain an understanding of the fields of knowledge that your new friends are involved in, thus increasing common topics for conversation. Aside from the high time cost, this task should not present any other difficulties for you. If you choose the latter, then there's no need to change anything. Accept yourself, acknowledge your inner needs, and relax in your interpersonal relationships. Maintain relationships with people using your most genuine and sincere self. Don't be friends with someone just for the sake of personal gain or their social status. Instead, be friends with someone because you are genuinely interested in them, because you agree with their inner world, knowledge, personal qualities, and spiritual values. I believe that if you approach friendships in this way, you will no longer have the confusion you experience today. Lastly, I hope you understand that everyone is unique and has their own life. We don't need to compare ourselves to anyone else, nor do we need to define a so-called \"normal social mode.\" Everyone's social mode and lifestyle habits do not need to be exactly the same. Don't be too hard on yourself or feel anxious. Look at your own situation and accept that you are someone with lower social needs. This is not abnormal; it is simply following your own inner voice. Best of luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Compared to sending generic greetings to acquaintances during holidays, I believe that deep communication is more valuable. What do you think, OP? It is actually difficult and costly to maintain relationships if you are not in the same circle or have no common ground. Your social media may have hundreds or even thousands of friends, but it is impossible for you to message every single person regularly just to maintain that so-called connection, right? What content would you even send? And it's not feasible to meet up with someone every day, especially if you're not interested. So, your situation is actually quite normal. We don't usually keep in touch with people who are not in our circle, and it's even less likely for introverted and sensitive individuals to take the initiative. If you're not interested in someone, there's no need to reach out to them proactively. The most important requirement for social interaction between people is sincerity. I will proactively stay in contact with you if I genuinely like you, and the other person will feel your sincerity. Otherwise, if you approach someone inquiring about their well-being but are actually uninterested, how do you think they would feel? Unless you have a favor to ask of them, then you should handle it professionally, providing enough value to the other person for mutual benefit. Everyone is not foolish. Are they really going to help you wholeheartedly because of a few greetings during the holidays? The key is to have valuable connections with each other. If you can't offer the value others need, then it is an ineffective form of socialization. For example, if you are currently looking for a job and happen to know someone in the industry, you can send them a message saying you need a job and ask if they are available for a meal or if they charge a consultation fee. This is actually establishing a connection, and you are also exchanging corresponding value. If the other person is willing to help, they will naturally agree. These types of connections do not require daily interaction. You can reach out to them when you have a need. Sending trivial greetings every day would just encroach on their time. Finding a fixed circle is also a good way to maintain social relationships. What are your interests, OP? There are book clubs, English corners, churches, various sports clubs, etc., all of which provide regular activities. You can choose to participate in something that interests you, and the people who come will be from various professions. If you go regularly, you will get to know different people and expand your social network. Since it is an activity that you are interested in, there won't be much resistance, making it more suitable for someone who dislikes socializing, like you, OP. So cultivating some personal hobbies will also help with socializing. This way, you will have more topics and connections with others, and you can make plans to attend activities together, increasing interactions and making friends easier. Alternatively, you can enhance your own value and have specific expertise, so that others come to you proactively. For example, my friends who are doctors are always sought after, with people frequently asking them about various health or mental issues. This is when others seek help from you. Everyone has their own way of living. Some are social butterflies, while others are more introverted. Both are normal. The key is to find a way of life that suits you, rather than forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! How to maintain a good surface relationship with people who are not interested? 1. Don't let your feelings show on your face. For people you still need to interact with, of course, you might find them boring or unnecessary, so it's important to control your facial expressions. The first step is to not show that you find it boring. 2. Change your mindset. Occasionally, send a few words of comfort and increase the chances of improving the relationship. Even if you don't maintain contact later on, adding the person's name and wishing them well on holidays will make them feel warm. Life is long, and in the future, you may need their help. If you haven't kept in touch and then ask for help, it will seem insincere. 3. Be more proactive and positive. The most important aspect of interpersonal communication is sincerity and initiative. Occasionally, say hello and talk about things happening in life. That's already enough. If you only speak when you have to in certain situations, people will understand if you're willing or not, and they might say you're indifferent. It's also more sincere to speak privately. For girls, talk about makeup and outfits, for women, talk about children and shopping, and for men, you know what to talk about. Hope this can help you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You said: \"Sometimes in social situations, even though I know I should maintain relationships with others, I just can't muster up the motivation to actively reach out to people I'm personally not interested in.\" Does that mean you look down on these people? In other words, are you able to maintain social relationships well with people you are interested in? There are many successful people who don't enjoy meaningless social interactions as they consider it a waste of time. Or perhaps our levels of thinking are not on the same page. For those who can see through others at a glance, it's really annoying to watch these ordinary people putting on a \"show\" -- pretending to be close to someone they don't actually like, only to talk bad about them behind their back. In countries like China, it's indeed a waste of time to engage in endless small talk, eating and drinking together, pretending to have a close relationship. It serves no purpose other than proving that you have assimilated into the collective. The interaction between colleagues, relatives, and friends is mostly based on the \"success and hero\" mentality. If you don't succeed, even if you give up your dignity to please others, it's still futile. It's better to become a successful person. Even if you're as aloof as an orchid, everyone will still paint a rosy picture for you... In unavoidable social situations, it's better to: 1. Always maintain a smile when meeting people. Not speaking doesn't cause any offense, but will give people a good impression of politeness. 2. Don't hesitate to give sincere compliments. Being genuinely (complimenting specific and objective details, not flattering) will always win people's favor. 3. Listening often speaks louder than a thousand words. 4. Send out greetings and blessings during holidays and simply like posts on social media during regular days.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It is understandable that the OP said they cannot muster the enthusiasm to actively contact people they are not interested in. They can maintain normal conversations in face-to-face situations, but once they are no longer together, they slowly stop contacting each other, to the point that they are even hesitant to send New Year blessings. As for some people they are interested in and others they are not, this comes from the judgment we have in our minds, as we assign meaning and labels to others, leading to our likes and dislikes. Many times, what we see and hear is not the true and complete picture of the situation. Our brains often make assumptions and judgments based on past experiences, all of which stem from our inner projections. There is no absolute good or bad in things themselves; the so-called good or bad is just our subjective judgment and commentary. How you see yourself is what you project outward, and at the same time, it is the reality you create. That is why being in social situations can feel like a fish in water for some people, but for others, it can be painful. So if the OP wants to change this situation, they may need to change their own psychological projections first. So what is projection? Projection is when we transfer our inner thoughts and emotions onto other people or things. If you inwardly believe that you are a friendly person, then the world in your eyes will be full of friendliness, and you will actively show your goodwill to gain everyone's love and favor. On the other hand, if you are filled with a sense of mistrust, when you interact with others, you will always guard yourself and be unable to wholeheartedly love others, and in the end, you will find that no matter where you go, you are easily ignored and disliked by others. So we should actively release our goodwill, such as initiating greetings with others, speaking in a gentle tone, or maintaining a simple smile. These small changes are all ways of showing others our goodwill.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Now it is graduation season, and everyone is busy looking for jobs or taking exams. Compared to meaningless socializing, it is more important to improve one's abilities at this stage. From my friends' posts, I can see that people rarely share updates and there are no gatherings with groups of friends. In a few days, there will be the civil service exams, as well as various teaching exams, so everyone must be quietly preparing. It's considered socializing to not disturb others when they are busy. I just graduated and am facing separation from my classmates, without being able to quickly integrate (this word may not be appropriate, what I mean is that we haven't been in contact for a long time, so suddenly reaching out might not be good, it may take some time). I don't have many high school friends or other friends at home, and I haven't found a job yet. At this time, most of us don't have much social connections, but I don't think it's a big deal, it's pretty normal. Also, one or a few close friends are enough. Adults are no longer teenagers who hang around together all day. Work and being busy are the norm, and socializing and dining together are only occasional, because everyone's free time doesn't always coincide. It's not a problem to have face-to-face socializing as the topic author mentioned. Maybe now there is a bit of loneliness when suddenly no one is talking. Lately, I have been playing games during my free time, and I think it's a way to quickly communicate because being alone at home for a long time is really boring. But if someone asks me to have a conversation, I don't know what to say and I don't feel like talking either. I will consider the socializing aspect after I finish my exams and settle into a stable job. I hope you find a job you love, and socializing can wait. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, 26-year-old male, just graduated from graduate school and about to start working. I am sensitive by nature and sometimes in social situations, I know that I should maintain relationships with others, but I just can't bring myself to actively contact people I'm not interested in. This is actually a phenomenon that most people experience. However, if you ask the question, \"Why should I interact with people I'm not interested in?\" Many people initially fall silent and then begin to reflect on why. In the end, they give an answer that is probably the majority of social needs or, as the author mentioned, \"always feeling wrong and out of touch with the so-called normal social patterns.\" However, are there also people in society who are not so enthusiastic about maintaining social connections? Why can they remain detached despite that? I have two good friends, A and B. Friend A is more introverted. After graduating from university, she found her own interest and returned to her hometown to cultivate a tea plantation. She doesn't place much importance on interpersonal relationships or social success, and the lack of understanding from friends and relatives has not affected her. She has been managing her tea garden day after day for ten years, from the tea garden to the tea society. Friend B, on the other hand, is more extroverted and enjoys socializing. After graduating, she joined a multinational corporation. Over the course of ten years, she has changed several companies, and she would turn to Friend A whenever she encountered troubles. After meeting with Friend A, Friend B's emotions would always calm down in the peaceful atmosphere of the tea garden. Their relationship remains the same, even though they rarely see each other and have different personalities. However, they both possess the same characteristic - they have \"beliefs\" and understand the purpose behind their actions. They know the meaning of their actions and persevere accordingly. For example, socializing is not a necessary activity for Friend A, so she can choose not to socialize. On the other hand, socializing is a natural thing for Friend B, and it fulfills her needs. What does socializing mean to you? Why do you feel the need to proactively contact others? I hope this answer can inspire you! Karen.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16523
 },
 {
  "question": "I am a transgender homosexual, what should I do?",
  "description": "I have been in relationships with both men and women, and later discovered that my biological sex is female, but my gender identity is male. I have romantic feelings for both women and men. (I feel a bit uncomfortable with men physically and in terms of intimacy, but not with women. This includes not having sexual relationships with men.) I want to know what exactly is going on with me and what should I do?",
  "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Because I don't know your specific situation very well, I can only share my general knowledge and experience. Please understand if there are any discrepancies. Based on your situation, it seems that most of it is due to being born into a patriarchal family. Generally, children try to meet their parents' expectations, so they tend to develop more masculine traits. And if you say you dislike the male body or have an aversion to physical contact with men, it may be related to your relationship with your father. Generally, there is a fear and aversion towards fathers among men. This is because for children, fathers represent the typical characteristics of men. How a child perceives their father is likely how they perceive all men. So, if you have fear and aversion towards your father, it is normal to have ambivalent tendencies. It satisfies both the need of your family for men and your repulsion towards men. If this is the case for you, there is no need to worry or pay too much attention. It's okay whether you like men or women. Learn to accept your own and others' differences because diversity is the essence of the world. Besides, you still have many other differences with others. Learn to accept these differences, and that's the secret to becoming more relaxed and happy. When you learn to accept your own differences, you will also learn to accept the differences of your father and other men. Yes, your father can only represent himself. This can help clarify your sexual orientation. At the same time, accept that you are different now from who you were in the past. In the past, you may have had less autonomy and independence, but now you are independent enough to separate yourself from your previous family environment. You can now build a family that you desire. The atmosphere, the foundation, and the logical relationships in this family are all up to you. Finally, sincerely wishing that the different you will have a wonderful and unique life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~\u203bI have been in relationships with both men and women, and later discovered that my biological sex is female but my gender identity is male. I have romantic feelings towards both men and women. (I have some hesitation towards men in terms of physicality and intimacy, but not towards women. This includes not engaging in sexual activities with men.) When the gender identity does not match the biological sex, it is called \"gender dysphoria\" in psychology. For many individuals, their gender is never an issue or a source of conflict in their identity. However, for others, they strongly identify themselves as a member of the opposite gender. They experience great distress because their biological sex does not align with their perceived and felt gender. This distress and conflict are described as gender dysphoria.\u203bThe diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria are as follows: when the following symptoms persist for at least six months, a diagnosis of this disorder can be made: 1. The expressed gender of adolescents and adults with gender dysphoria is clearly incongruent with their assigned sex at birth, as manifested by at least two of the following: (1) The expressed gender is incongruent with primary or secondary sexual characteristics. (2) There is a strong desire to remove primary and/or secondary sexual characteristics due to a complete incongruence with the expressed gender. (3) There is a strong desire to possess the primary and/or secondary sexual characteristics of the opposite gender. (4) There is a strong desire to be of the opposite gender. (5) There is a strong desire to be treated as the opposite gender. (6) There is a strong belief in having the typical feelings and reactions of the opposite gender. (7) This disorder causes significant distress and impairs social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. The separation between an individual's biological sex and their experienced gender is still a relatively novel concept for most people. However, humans are complex beings. As long as we live happily and do not harm society, accepting our own gender is what matters most in life! The important thing in life is to live as ourselves, not as others see us! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 12659
 },
 {
  "question": "I feel like I have a reading disability, what is the problem? How can I improve it?",
  "description": "When I was in school, I would instantly forget the paragraph I just read. I couldn't remember it, nor did I understand it. Sometimes, I couldn't help but read it word by word and try to comprehend the meaning. But even after finishing, I would still forget it. I always wanted to start reading from the beginning again, which was a waste of time. Starting over all the time made my efficiency very low. I want to ask what the problem is and how to improve it.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP. From your description, I can sense that you are a person who pursues perfection. This kind of pursuit is more about caring too much about details, missing the main point, and getting caught up in overthinking. Because I have had similar experiences myself, I can tell you that going back and forth like this shows that you are a person who gets entangled in things that should not be overthought. Not only does it waste time and decrease efficiency, but it also leads to a vicious cycle where you slowly drift further away from your preset goals. In psychology, there is a concept called the \"overlap effect\": in consecutive memory activities, if the things to be remembered are similar, it is unfavorable for memory retention. This is because the repeated appearance of the same content, the same nature, leads to mutual inhibition and interference, resulting in forgetting. When we read too deliberately, our brains cannot digest so much knowledge. Our minds become more and more chaotic, and in the end, we cannot remember anything. Setting reading goals too high, even though we clearly cannot read that fast, also hinders the process of forming memories. My advice: lower your pursuit of results in reading, approach the process of reading with a relaxed mindset, and treat it as enjoying. If it is task-oriented reading that we must do, try not to assimilate, move forward, and try to roughly express the content read earlier in your own words, affirming your reading achievements. Don't deliberately pursue, and sacrifice small gains for big ones. While reading, try to immerse yourself in the reading process in a way that suits your own imagination. In daily life, learn to make decisive choices and solve problems efficiently, cultivating good habits. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Good night~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "How old are you? When you say \"when you were in school\", what do you mean? Does it mean that you are no longer in school, that you have already graduated, or that you have already become an adult? If you are no longer in school, why are you asking this seemingly irrelevant question now? Perhaps that period of memory has left a deep impression on you, making you feel helpless and sad, but due to the circumstances at that time, you did not have the ability and resources to resolve it, so you could only \"temporarily\" let it go. Now, maybe you feel that you have the ability and resources to resolve it. Perhaps you long to have a photographic memory and wish to become \"that kind of person.\" That's why, after many years, you are still seeking answers and methods to solve it. Perhaps in your experience, you can handle everything else with ease, but only \"reading\" makes you feel a bit lost. But your inner self is unwilling and not satisfied. \"Reading\" has unintentionally become your \"unfinished business.\" Whenever you have the opportunity, you seek to express and resolve it. Perhaps you also have other thoughts and concerns... If you really need a definite diagnosis, you should go to the hospital. By asking this question here, we are probably more concerned about the emotions and meanings behind the problem. After saying so much, I'm not sure if I can help you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 2409
 },
 {
  "question": "Every day is full of conflict, suffering from decision-making difficulties, and feeling very distressed.",
  "description": "Everything is cautious and meticulous, it is difficult to make a decision and it is very painful.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Indecisiveness can indeed be very frustrating, and it is normal for everyone to have a little hesitation and lack of decisiveness in making choices. With appropriate adjustments, you can make your decision-making process less painful. First, you should consider choices from a cognitive perspective. I don't know what you are constantly struggling with every day, but in life, about 90% of things you choose are not particularly important. For example, should you wash your face first or brush your teeth first? Or when you go out, should you eat rice or noodles? If you think about it carefully, many things don't really matter how you choose. However, for some more important choices, of course, it is beneficial to be cautious. In those situations, you need to consider your expectations, goals, and how to choose in a way that allows you to achieve your goals faster. The process of making choices involves weighing the pros and cons. Secondly, validate your choices in your life. Try to be courageous in making decisions in small matters. If you're still in a hesitant state, then just randomly choose one. Then see if there will be any significant changes in your life. Through this process, you will cultivate confidence in your own choices because you will realize that the choices you make do not actually have much impact on you.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
     {
      "start": 0,
      "end": 52,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 52,
      "end": 79,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 79,
      "end": 183,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 183,
      "end": 230,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 230,
      "end": 291,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 291,
      "end": 373,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 373,
      "end": 415,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     }
    ]
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 9456
 },
 {
  "question": "Can mental health counselors really achieve \"unconditional positive regard\"?",
  "description": "When we study theoretical knowledge, as a mental health counselor, we should \"unconditionally and positively pay attention\" to the visitors. But in reality, can mental health counselors truly \"unconditionally and positively pay attention\" to the visitors? Can counselors really accept everything from the visitors?",
  "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, venting and listening.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, both he and she have value.\"##Unconditional positive regard includes warmth, care, respect, and a non-judgmental attitude.## We do not advocate expressing unconditional positive regard directly to visitors. Direct expressions may make visitors feel false or inappropriately close. Direct expressions of emotions may also imply that you wish to establish a friendship or romantic relationship with the visitor outside the counselor's role. As human beings, even as professional counselors, we sometimes have negative emotions towards what visitors say. If you claim directly that you will maintain \"unconditional acceptance,\" you are committing to something impossible. You cannot (and will not) always like visitors, and that is normal.##So, how can you indirectly express positive regard, acceptance, and respect to visitors?\u2460 By honoring agreed-upon times, asking visitors how they prefer to be addressed, and remembering to address them as such, and by listening sensitively and empathetically, you establish a relationship characterized by care and respect.\u2461 By allowing visitors to freely discuss themselves in their own natural way, you convey respect and acceptance.\u2462 By demonstrating that you have heard and remembered the specific details of visitors' stories, you convey respect. This typically involves restating, summarizing, and sometimes interpreting.\u2463 By responding sympathetically or empathetically to emotional distress and psychological conflicts, you express concern and acceptance.\u2464 Clinical experience and research show that visitors are often sensitive to counselors' intentions. Therefore, conveying information through accepting or respecting visitors' genuine efforts and desires may be more effective than any technique you can use.##Remember to pay careful attention to what visitors say. Using your intellect, intuition, and empathy to respond to visitors' inner world conveys deep respect, which is the essence of unconditional positive regard. *Reference from \"Counseling and Psychotherapy Techniques\" (4th edition) The above is my suggestion, hope it can be helpful to you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ #Before answering this question, let's understand the definition of unconditional positive regard: it means treating the person without judgment, regardless of their behavior. It is accepting the person as a whole, treating them as you would treat yourself. Treat them sincerely, listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to express their true thoughts, tolerate their unreasonable behavior, respect and value them. Simply put, it is without a critical attitude, without opposing or approving, just accepting and acknowledging. #One point that may confuse you is that you think it might be difficult for counselors to provide \"unconditionally\" positive regard and attention during counseling. However, you should believe that counselors have received professional training, and conditional positive regard does not mean unrestrained praise or indulgence in visitors' behavior. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21957
 },
 {
  "question": "I am still a student, but I feel like I can't control my emotions.",
  "description": "I really want to commit suicide, but now I just want it to be a turning point in my life. I want to control my emotions, but it feels like I can't control them. However, I seem to be able to control myself whether I am at school, with classmates, or with good friends. I have already decided to commit suicide, during the Lunar New Year, on that day. But I don't want to give up my good friends. It was so hard for me to make friends, but I can't control my emotions and I am becoming more and more agitated! It seems like my friends are all very intelligent. However, in elementary school, I already knew how to hide for four years, so how can I not hide in front of some good friends? But I don't want to ignore them, I want to tell them! I'm afraid they will hate me! I'm also afraid they will stop me from committing suicide, because I want to finish a course well during these months, so during my own holiday, I want to have these memories, but I'm also afraid they will stop me and what should I do? So I also want to commit suicide, but I can't control my thoughts and suicidal tendencies, so I decided to give myself a deadline. If they help me, it's fine, but if they don't, I feel like I won't be able to control myself, but well, can one person be good (^O^)/ Maybe my thoughts are just very dark, so I want everyone to help me a little.",
  "keywords": "Growth, personal growth, stress management, self-acceptance",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear questioner, at this moment you are still feeling pain. When we let pain flow through our bodies, it gradually nourishes us, and perhaps in the future, we will gain new strength from it. Also, don't forget that you can take a break, pause for a moment. Time is meant to be experienced, and we still have time. When you're tired, take a rest.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11879
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do we feel pain when we don't receive love?",
  "description": "Why do we feel so much pain when our family doesn't love us? Why should we suffer because others don't love us? How can we stop feeling this pain?",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "#Family doesn't love us#Others don't love us#The pain here is based on a premise: you assume that everyone needs love from others to avoid suffering, and as long as others don't love us, we will experience pain. With this assumption, the people in your proposition lack independence. We believe these truths are self-evident: all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. - Declaration of Independence of the United States. The people in your assumption lack independence, which contradicts the freedom they are entitled to. People naturally seek freedom, and if this so-called \"love\" hinders the development of their freedom, then this kind of \"love\" can be discarded; if one doesn't have the courage to let go and resist it, they will become enslaved to it and lose their freedom, and pain arises from that. The question of how much one should resist this and maintain a balance is something that each individual must contemplate. It also takes time to accept this knowledge. The main point is that as long as you are alive, you will inevitably have interpersonal relationships. As long as in a relationship, the dominant party restricts the other's sense of \"freedom\", then they will experience pain. How to avoid pain? Control your relationships with others, keeping them at a balance that you can accept. When the part you accept exceeds the part that brings you pain, the pain will temporarily disappear. But as soon as you relax even a little, the pain will gain the upper hand. So it is impossible for pain to completely disappear; it is proof that you are alive, and at the same time, it is a part of your life, accompanying you in every growth and reminding you when your relationships are problematic.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP, seeing your question, I just wanted to share my thoughts, not from a psychological perspective. I'd like to start by answering your last question, \"How can we avoid suffering?\" - Love yourself. Everyone should first love themselves. As for the first two questions, if we were to replace our family members with others or people we don't have any connection with, would we still suffer? So, the real reason for suffering is probably when we care about someone who doesn't care about us, and it feels like our emotional investment is not reciprocated. We can't really demand how others should act, but we can control how we act. The only thing we can do is to love ourselves first, so that others might have a chance to love us. I am an assistant to Teacher Ming, and these are just my personal thoughts. I hope they can be of some help to you. Lastly, I'd like to share a message from Teacher Chen: \"After living in cities for a long time, I still long for the tranquility and serenity of the countryside. I love the peaceful time spent reading books and the exhilarating feeling of sweating on the sports field. I also enjoy the sense of accomplishment after finishing a full 40-kilometer marathon. However, after traveling to dozens of countries across Asia and Europe and experiencing various exotic cultures, I realized that my soul belongs in my own home, which is the most beautiful and warm place. Moreover, after witnessing the events of the past and present and experiencing the many aspects of life, I came to realize that the heart is the source of life's motivation and the harbor of rest.\"",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Friend, hello. Humans are social animals, and through communication with each other, they can feel alive. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, there are five needs that humans have, from low to high: physiological needs, safety needs, belonging and love needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. When we cannot receive love, as you mentioned, we will suffer because our need for belonging and love is not satisfied. When our family does not love us, we will lose the care and affection of our loved ones, and the bond with our family will be missing. This will cause a lack of personal feelings, leading to physiological and physical reactions, and thus, we will experience pain. Similarly, if someone we like does not love us back, we will also suffer. It feels just like when a family member passes away, we will feel great pain. So how can we avoid suffering? 1. Establish a connection with loved ones and maintain a friendly relationship with them. If our family does not love us, there must be a reason behind it, and we need to find that reason and make efforts to improve and resolve the situation. If it is strangers who do not love us, we do not need to dwell on whether they love us or not, as strangers are unfamiliar to us. 2. Acceptance and letting go. For relationships and situations that cannot be changed, we need to learn to accept them, recognize them from within, accept the current state, circumstances, and relationships, accept the existence of the other person, and learn to let go of certain things. This way, we can avoid experiencing excessive pain.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. Why does it cause pain when one cannot receive love? I wonder what your understanding of love is. Is it a gaze of attention or a positive affirmation? Is it unconditional or just the right amount of care? Or is it a deep sense of understanding? Firstly, every person has a need to be seen, cared for, and to have a sense of connection. This is the process by which a person forms their own identity. When a person does not receive responses from their surroundings during childhood, or if the responses they receive are mostly disordered looks and reactions, their inner self becomes difficult to stabilize. For example, when a child cries due to stomach cramps, but their mother thinks they are too hot and keeps undressing them. As a result, the child not only experiences stomach pain but also feels colder. Alternatively, the mother herself is in an irritable state. Unable to comfort the baby, she ends up yelling and intimidating the child. Or the mother knows that the child has a stomachache but is too nervous, so every time the child cries, she rushes to the hospital for injections. In all of these situations, the child will struggle to understand their own state and their relationship with the world around them. \n\n2. How can one avoid suffering? The more one fails to receive care from family members, the more they may become attached to their inner desires. However, these people are precisely the ones who lack the ability to give you the right kind of attention. Otherwise, even as you grow older, you would not continue to crave it. So, what should be done? This requires a process. Firstly, in reality, put effort into work and study in your field. Achieve some accomplishments and receive recognition from classmates, colleagues, leaders, and professionals in your industry. This will strengthen your sense of self-assurance. Secondly, learn to take care of yourself first. Buy yourself some things you like and learn to tend to your emotions when you feel down. Learn to say no to requests that make you uncomfortable, and so on. Finally, love and care are mutually given. When you can understand your own needs and take care of yourself, you will slowly gain the ability to take care of others. Initially, it may not be much, but gradually, in your interactions with others, you will feel more accurate and genuine about their needs. Give each other support and care when needed, and you will develop a sense of supportive connection. Best wishes from Zhenyuan Gao of Zhenyuan Psychological Services.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 6378
 },
 {
  "question": "17-year-old male, afraid that his girlfriend's excessive belief in God will turn him into a puppet of others?",
  "description": "A few weeks after starting school, she confessed her feelings to me, and without thinking, I agreed because we had been chatting well before. She is a patient with depression, but I thought it would be fine since I could spend a lot of time with her and support her. And it worked. Slowly, her scars faded, she became more cheerful, and she was willing to see a doctor. Just when I thought everything was going well, reality hit me. A few months ago, a guy with depression came to her art studio. At first, they got along well, and I thought it was good for two people with depression to communicate about their condition. But gradually, I noticed something was off with my girlfriend. She started believing in God, something she had never mentioned to me before. I didn't know how to face her. She started communicating more and more with that guy, who happened to be a Christian. We had many arguments because of him. She referred to him as her confidante. I was already a bit insecure, wanting to possess her exclusively, but it backfired. Slowly, I accepted it. Now, she is getting deeper and deeper into it, and I'm really afraid she will become someone who is controlled by others. I feel lost and don't know what to do.",
  "keywords": "Love, love management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Rather than saying that the OP is afraid of his girlfriend becoming a puppet, it is more accurate to say that he is actually afraid that their differences will grow larger if she adopts a different belief system, possibly leading to a breakup. The OP doesn't want to let his girlfriend go. The OP is still young, but I want to tell you that what is yours is yours, and what is not, forcing it will only bring pain to both parties. The girlfriend is also an independent individual who has the freedom to believe in whatever she wants. In other words, she has the right to do and believe in whatever she wants. Christianity is one of the world's three major religions, and it is not a cult nor is it controlled by others. To a large extent, it is simply a choice of belief for people. Nowadays, many people choose to believe in different religions, which is a personal choice and represents each person's different values. Your girlfriend may be attracted to certain aspects of Christianity, finding it personally meaningful and beneficial to her. As a boyfriend, your role is to respect her, not try to make her give up her beliefs. Constant arguing will only create more distance between you, and she may increasingly feel that the gentle boy is the one who truly understands her. This may indicate that you have different values and could potentially lead to problems in your relationship. Perhaps you ultimately cannot continue together, but this just proves that you are different individuals who may not be able to move forward. In the end, we need to find someone with the same values who we can truly connect with as a partner, otherwise, there will be constant arguments like yours. What you need to do now is to stop arguing, respect each other because this is what she believes in, and you also have your own beliefs. I believe you wouldn't want someone else to refute you. Maybe you can approach it with an open mind and go with your girlfriend to see what exactly is going on. Since you're afraid of her being manipulated, why not go to church or study with her every time? If someone tries to harm her, you can protect her in time. Respecting each other may enable you to continue moving forward.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18409
 },
 {
  "question": "My son is in first grade, and every time he has an exam, I feel anxious and blame myself.",
  "description": "My 7-year-old son is in first grade and he is a very obedient and intelligent child. Whatever I ask him to learn, he learns it well. But the more he listens and learns, the more afraid I am that I won't be able to teach him properly. Next week, there will be final exams again, and I always feel very anxious before every midterm and final exam. Because when I was a child, I had poor grades and I don't know how to tutor him or teach him. I'm afraid that if he doesn't do well, it will be entirely my responsibility. If only I could be like other mothers, who have clear thoughts and patience, I feel sorry for my son!",
  "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, guilt, shame",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. First of all, I believe you are a good and qualified mother, and your son is smart and obedient. You don't have to be anxious about your son's exams. He is only in first grade, and although grades are important, they are currently in the happiest and most carefree stage of childhood. They should not have heavy academic pressure. You should also relax, as grades are not the only measure of ability. From your words, I can tell that your anxiety also stems from your own poor grades when you were young, and you are afraid that your teaching methods may be wrong and will mislead him. You can communicate more with the teacher and ask if your methods are correct. You can also communicate with other parents of other children. You also mentioned that you wish you had the same ideas and patience as other mothers. In fact, everyone has their own strengths. Other mothers may be more patient, but you may have more energy and can play with your child. I think every mother has her own advantages, so you don't have to blame yourself. And other mothers' ideas and patience may also have been developed through practice. They may not have had experience at first, but they gradually learned. Even top chefs cook terrible dishes at the beginning! Some people joke about themselves before getting married, saying \"first marriage, no experience\". You are also a first-time mother, and experience is accumulated over time. Your child is only in first grade now, and you have just started to deal with tutoring and homework. Learning and communicating more will make things better. Don't feel sorry for your son. I think you are already a dedicated mother, and your son must love you very much. You will do even better in the future! Finally, I wish you a happy day and a happy and harmonious family.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18686
 },
 {
  "question": "My child is not doing well in studies and is indifferent about it. What can I change?",
  "description": "My child is not doing well in studies, and I want him to study hard. However, no matter how much I emphasize and reason with him, or even send him to tutoring classes, it seems to be in vain. He still performs poorly in his studies, which makes me anxious and frustrated, while he remains indifferent. I wonder if what I am doing is really helping him to change. It seems that I cannot change him; I feel powerless and helpless. I think I should break free from this cycle and change myself. I should love myself and stop being anxious.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growing up, and communication between children and parents.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello friend, from your narrative, it is evident that you are someone who dares to introspect. This is a great quality and deserves praise. Behind every person's words and actions, there are profound needs. These needs can be explored through self-reflection or in-depth discussions with a mental health counselor. By understanding your own needs, as well as the underlying needs of your child through similar methods, you can help yourself relax and live a more fulfilling life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1676
 },
 {
  "question": "I want to become a mental health counselor, but people around me say there is no future in it. How should I make my choice?",
  "description": "I have received help from a mental health counselor and have a general understanding of the mental health counseling profession. I want to help more people and am considering taking the national psychology professional degree examination to study psychology at Beijing Normal University. However, everyone around me says that there is no future in this field and that the investment does not proportional to the output. But compared to other disciplines, I really like it. How should I choose between my ideals and reality?",
  "keywords": "Occupation, career management, and job search skills.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: Want to become a mental health counselor, but people around you say there is no future? How should you choose? - 1. What others say is their business, and what you do is your business. It's a problem when you treat others' opinions as your own. 2. When you can't make money from counseling, naturally others will say there is no future. When you can make a living from counseling, who would dare to say there is no future in it? So, most of the time, what others say depends on whether you have achieved results. 3. Reality and ideals are not opposed, nor are they either/or, and it doesn't have to be one or the other. The most perfect combination is \"You are in me, and I am in you.\" In other words, pursue ideals in reality, and don't forget reality in ideals.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13126
 },
 {
  "question": "What should be done when wrongly accused by people around you due to mental illness?",
  "description": "Suffering from anxiety disorder and OCD, I often find myself in a state of self-awareness, with my attention constantly distracted by external and anxious matters. I can handle the opinions of people who are unrelated to me, but when it comes to those who care about me, like teachers and relatives, they don't understand my condition. They lecture and criticize me, expressing their disappointment. I can endure all of that, and I can also disregard their expectations. However, there has been a drastic change in their perception of me, and our relationship has become cold. But I can't communicate my situation to them because they don't understand. Even if I try explaining, they will only misunderstand me. Besides, talking about it won't be of any help to my condition, it would only make my life more complicated. So how do I face these indescribable grievances?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! After listening to what you shared, I'm sending you a warm hug. I hope my words can bring you warmth and help. Everyone has their own worries, which may not always be expressed, but everyone has them. When we have a physical illness like a cold or fever, our family and friends care for us because they understand the pain of physical sickness. But when our mental health becomes unwell, others often tell us to \"be strong\" and think that we are weak or not strong enough. Just like when we don't feel well physically, they would tell us to take care of ourselves and rest. However, when we don't feel well mentally, they may think it's normal and that we just have a few days of feeling off. Mental problems may not have visible symptoms like physical illnesses, there might not be any wounds, but the pain they bring is very real. So what should we do to adjust? 1. When we speak out about our mental illness but are not understood, sometimes we hope to talk about our mental illness and seek understanding from our loved ones, but it doesn't go as we wish. We may have good intentions and motives, but they are not understood or even blamed, which can be quite disheartening. But all these grievances are just temporary. We need to learn how to adjust and find ways to release them. We can do something to relax and uplift our mood, such as listening to music or watching movies. 2. In life, if you feel wronged and not understood, you have to digest it yourself. If something makes us feel wronged, we can only process it ourselves. Adjust your mindset and talk to a confidant. Don't let temporary grievances bother you. As long as we face things positively and use the right methods, some things will gradually be understood by others. That's just how life is. Where there are people, there are conflicts, differences in perceptions, and differences in behavior. It's inevitable to experience helplessness and grievances that make us feel wronged. When faced with helplessness and grievances, as long as we adjust our mentality, find the right perspective, and choose the right methods, certain things won't trouble us, and our lives will be filled with sunshine. Take care! The world and I love you.\ufe0f",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "In previous work experiences, I have been maliciously accused several times. When a person is falsely accused and unable to prove their innocence, there is not only an obvious sense of grievance in their emotions, but also a vague sense of shame because they know they are not at fault but still have to endure negative judgments. This to some extent evokes a sense of powerlessness in a person. However, strictly speaking, the situation encountered by the questioner may be more appropriately classified as a misunderstanding. In a false accusation, the accuser knows that you are not at fault but deliberately distorts the truth, while a misunderstanding arises from a lack of sufficient mutual understanding and results in a biased evaluation based on this missing information in the communication process. Compared to false accusations, misunderstandings involve much less subjective malice. Due to differences in personal background and level of cognition, misunderstandings frequently occur; it's just that if the person involved is already feeling low, the emotional impact caused by misunderstandings is often greater. When faced with misunderstandings, individuals can grow by actively communicating to resolve them, or learn to not be disturbed by them and grow. Both paths are viable, but as long as there is still communication with others, misunderstandings will continue to have a chance to occur. What matters is how they are handled.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "#And being wronged by the people around#However, I cannot speak up about my situation to them because they do not understand. Even if I try to explain, they will just misinterpret me. Moreover, speaking up will not help my condition in any way, it will only make my life more complicated. #From these descriptions, can't you speak up to them about your situation because you don't want to or because you don't know how?#Because they don't understand, even if I explain, they will just misinterpret me. #This is an assumption, is it valid? It is not valid. This is a \"fact\" that exists in your mind, not in reality. #Moreover, speaking up will not help my condition in any way, it will only make my life more complicated. #This is also an assumption, same as above. You have assumed various reasons to refuse them to understand you. So naturally, without understanding your situation, they will interpret your actions based on their own \"understanding.\" This is how they \"misinterpret\" your essence. Did you give them a \"chance\" to understand you from the beginning? If you are currently suffering from anxiety and OCD, often in a state of low self-awareness, your attention is always diverted to external and anxious matters, you can only deal with your own life. #If this is your current \"state,\" then haven't you expressed it clearly? So all you need to do is describe your situation to them and see their reaction and how to deal with it. Instead of imagining their behavior according to your understanding, looking at it from the space of your imagination. You continue to judge the reactions of others to you based on your understanding, which is a form of refusing communication. This form is subtle, and it is impossible for untrained individuals to observe the flaws in your thinking behind your behavior. Therefore, when you say they \"misinterpret\" you, you assume that they have the ability to observe your \"state\" and identify it. And then use their own thoughts to understand you. But they can't even take the first step in the process, so the rest of it is simply not valid, right? If you don't know how to communicate with others, we can discuss different ways of communication. And if you haven't noticed the way you think, then I'm also reminding you. Feel free to leave a message or private message if you need to communicate.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "When misunderstandings are inevitable and we are unable to explain, we can try to let others continue to misunderstand and tell ourselves, \"So what?\" However, if other people's misunderstandings become another source of pain or stress for ourselves, then we need to learn to express ourselves. Of course, it doesn't mean expressing to everyone. We can start by trying with the closest people, because their understanding and support can be very helpful for our recovery. When our own strength is only enough to take care of ourselves, of course, we should prioritize taking care of ourselves. This has nothing to do with being selfish or moral coercion. Regardless, when facing illness, it is important to actively seek treatment. Being ill is already difficult, so let's not impose more restrictions on ourselves, what do you think?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP: Reasonable anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder can help us reduce many risks. For example, if you always feel like you haven't closed the window properly, you will go back and check the window to confirm that everything is fine before you can leave with peace of mind. If you did close it, then checking again would be unnecessary; but if you didn't actually close the window, going back would help prevent many risks. There have been times when I have looked everywhere for something, believing that I left my hat in the classroom when I had actually worn it on my head. I ran back to the classroom, searching all over, only to find that I couldn't find it, and felt incredibly upset, thinking that I had actually lost it. Then, when I lowered my head, I realized that the hat had fallen on the ground. Instantly, my heart felt happy again. If you can't even protect and take care of yourself, then don't focus your thoughts and attention on others. When it comes to the opinions of others, you need to distinguish the occasion and the reason. Some people are just joking and not actually trying to hurt you; some people genuinely care about you and want to remind you to improve next time, and they hope you can achieve better academic results; and then there are some people who will always maintain hostility towards you, no matter how well you do, they will never be satisfied. Everyone has their own strengths, OP, so you can spend more time on hobbies that you are interested in. You can channel your anxious mentality into your work, try your best to excel at your job, and strive to improve your academic performance. Because as long as you have achievements and accomplishments, your inner self won't be so melancholic, and you won't feel worried about the future. As for obsessive-compulsive disorder, it involves repetitively doing the same thing. You can set a limit, for example, I will do no more than ten squats and ten sit-ups, and for each set of exercises, I must give myself some time to rest. If you repeat doing a good habit, you will ultimately benefit yourself, but if you repeat doing a bad habit, you will end up suffering.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! It seems that you are in a closed environment, enduring everything around you without being able to fight back or break free. Seeing you like this breaks my heart! Hugs to you, I hope to alleviate some of your grievances and helplessness! You mentioned that you have been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD by a doctor, is that correct? If so, shouldn't your teachers and parents know? If they do know but still don't understand you and instead misinterpret you, resulting in accusations and disappointment, then there must be a misunderstanding between you. The best way to resolve misunderstandings is through effective communication. #I can't talk to them about my situation# Why can't you speak up? The people who care about you the most are the ones who would want to understand you the most. They would be willing to open their hearts and embrace you, if only you don't shut them out. #Because they don't understand, they will only misinterpret me, and besides, talking about it won't help with my condition, it will only make my life more complicated# These are all assumptions you've made because you haven't spoken to them. Why not try telling them and see what happens? The worst result would be what you've described. But there's also a 50% chance that through your disclosure, they will understand your pain and grievances and provide you with the care you desire. How would you know if you don't try? #I don't care about the opinions of people who are not relevant to me, but when it comes to people who care about me, like teachers and relatives, they don't understand my situation and instead lecture me, criticize me, and are disappointed in me. I can bear all of this, and I can ignore their expectations. But their views of me have changed drastically, and our relationship has become distant# Your description indicates that you are still able to face your own problems candidly, but you cannot accept the coldness from the people who care about you the most. I understand this feeling very well. Even if you are in a bad state, a little bit of care from others can warm you, but even a little bit of indifference can hurt you. Yes, you not only need to face yourself bravely but also the care and help from your family and friends. So take action and proactively communicate with them. Your change will also bring about a change in their attitude towards you. Believe that family and friends will always love you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1482
 },
 {
  "question": "How can I tell my mom that I'm no longer a virgin?",
  "description": "I am 29 years old and was born into a relatively conservative family. My mother never gave me sex education during my adolescence, but we had reproductive health classes at school. Later on, I gradually learned about sex through various health-related sources, such as public health accounts. I am currently single and living with my mother. I have had two boyfriends in the past and have engaged in sexual activities, although those relationships did not last. My mother is unaware of my sexual experiences and still believes I am a virgin. A couple of years ago, I discovered a minor health issue and secretly went to the gynecologist without her knowledge. The doctor prescribed medication that needed to be taken internally, and I had to wait for my mother to fall asleep before discreetly administering it, fearing that she might find out. Recently, I noticed another problem with my body and wanted to get a gynecological examination, but I continue to hide it from her. I suddenly feel saddened by the fact that I have to keep even medical visits a secret from my family and administer medication without their knowledge. Furthermore, if I remain single and unmarried, she will continue to believe I am a virgin, which means I will have to continue hiding medical visits from her in the future. This situation is exhausting me emotionally. I want to find an opportunity to confess to my mother that I am no longer a virgin and that I need regular gynecological check-ups, but I don't know how to approach this conversation. I feel very distressed about the situation.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Talking about sex with your mom is like talking heart to heart with her, it means sharing your most intimate matters with someone. Sexual matters are linked to feelings of shame, so if you don't usually have a habit of opening up to your mom, it can be difficult to bring up such explicit topics all of a sudden. Deliberately finding an opportunity to be honest may seem too serious, especially if your mom is usually conservative, and a serious conversation may create an awkward situation for both of you. Sex is a natural part of adult life, it is something that is self-evident and inevitable. In general, parents may judge whether we have tasted the \"forbidden fruit\" based on whether we have had a boyfriend or stayed out all night. Even if they know that we have started having sex, unless harm has been done, most parents probably won't intentionally seek a clear answer, so it may not be necessary to explain everything in detail to them. It is possible that your mom still thinks you are a virgin. On one hand, this is just speculation and you might be worried that she won't accept your premarital sexual experiences, but we don't know for certain whether she knows or accepts it. On the other hand, even if she really does think this way, it doesn't mean that she hopes for it, as she might be concerned that you would miss out on the golden age of experience. Regular gynecological examinations are for all women, not just those who have had sex. It's perfectly fine to go to the doctor openly and honestly, they won't immediately ask about our experiences of sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex. Being single does not conflict with having a sex life, as long as there are safety and maturity conditions, there's nothing wrong with following your feelings. \"Appetite for food, appetite for sex.\" What it means is that it is human nature to enjoy beautiful things. Who can deny that eating food is a natural and wonderful thing? Sex is the same. I hope your troubles will be fewer and your life more beautiful!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Seeing words as if seeing someone face-to-face, I hope these words can bring you even a little warmth. Many people from our parents' generation are still quite conservative and avoid discussing sex. But we all know that this is a very normal thing, and having a certain level of physiological knowledge is actually helpful for ourselves. If you want to have an open conversation with your mother and let her know that you care about her opinion, how should you approach it? I think you can try the following methods: start with news or stories, and pay attention to events caused by a lack of sexual knowledge, such as girls getting pregnant without realizing it due to a lack of sex education or being deceived. Pretend to inadvertently show these stories to your mother and express the importance of spreading sexual knowledge. Indicate subtly without directly mentioning it. Your mother is experienced, and after a few times, she should understand your intentions. Next time you go to the hospital, ask your mother to accompany you as if it's a normal thing, and if your mother asks, speak up naturally; if she doesn't ask, she probably already has an idea. You don't need to deliberately mention that you've grown up and there's no need to clarify everything, but there's also no need to hide it deliberately. Naturally go see a doctor, get check-ups, and your mother will naturally notice. If your mother reacts strongly, be prepared for communication and calmly explain the importance of sex education. Let her know that you have reached adulthood, understand the risks and significance of sexual behavior, and that it won't harm you. Also, don't believe that not being a virgin will have any impact on you. You are still you, and your outstanding qualities will not be denied because you are \"not a virgin.\" I wish you smooth communication with your mother.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ First, let me give you a warm hug, hoping to bring you a little warmth and courage. After reading the description, I feel that you must be feeling very sad and troubled about how to talk to your mother. Don't worry, everything will pass. I hope my sharing can help you a little bit. Matters between the sexes are normal, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. You should not give yourself too much pressure because the situation has already happened, and we still need to move forward. At 29 years old, you are already an adult, and some things ultimately need to be faced by yourself. Don't worry, actually your mom's intentions are good, and she loves us. It is normal to be born into a conservative family, especially for girls. Parents are very afraid of their daughters getting hurt outside. But since it has come to this point, you can think about how to talk to your mom. I believe she will understand you, and your body is your own and needs to be taken care of. If you don't feel well, remember to go to the hospital in time, and if necessary, remember to tell your mom. Don't be afraid, she won't blame you. I hope you can get out of this state as soon as possible. Take care.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Lou Lou, seeing words is like seeing each other, hug hug you. Lou Lou may feel that Momma doesn't understand Lou Lou and may even be sad. But Lou Lou, is Momma really like that? Maybe not. Lou Lou thinks that her family is relatively conservative, so she doesn't dare to talk to Momma about these things. But Mommas have also grown from little girls to mommas, and they have experienced some things. They will understand Lou Lou. In addition, Lou Lou is 29 years old, at this age it is not possible to have never been in a relationship. I think parents have also considered these things. But parents don't bring up these things openly, it's just because parents feel a little embarrassed about talking about these things. After all, for the older generation, they have always avoided talking about sex, but not talking doesn't mean they don't understand, or don't know. Lou Lou is already an adult, and she has the right to make choices about her personal life. Moreover, Lou Lou is sick now, and she really wants Momma to accompany her to the hospital and go see a doctor together, instead of going to the hospital alone behind her parents' backs! But as for whether to tell Momma about this, I have some thoughts to share with Lou Lou: Test Momma Lou Lou may just feel in her heart that her mother would have a hard time accepting these things, but Lou Lou's thoughts do not necessarily reflect reality. So Lou Lou can find relevant movies, watch them together with Momma at home, or watch them alone and then tell Momma about the main character's situation in the movie, and see if Momma can accept it. Find a suitable time to open up with Momma. Generally, this can be done at night, when it's just Momma and you. Then you can tell her that you haven't been feeling well lately, and when Momma asks what happened, you can tell her the real situation. Pay attention to Momma's facial expressions at that time, because it's hard to hide this. But I still think that Momma will understand, because Lou Lou is already grown up and can make her own choices. Send a message after Momma falls asleep Lou Lou may not be able to face Momma and say it face to face, so wait until Momma falls asleep, and then send a private message to Momma about your condition. Focus mainly on the fact that you're sick, and briefly mention the other matter. Actually, Lou Lou, I think you can tell Momma about this, but you can also choose not to. How to go to the hospital or apply medicine is up to you. Sometimes, being too fixated on this isn't good. Lou Lou, being a virgin is nothing to worry about, and Momma will accept it. After all, every woman goes through the transformation from girl to woman, and it's normal. Don't think too much about it. Lastly, I wish Lou Lou all the best!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your description, virtual hug~ Actually, most parents are conservative, and they can sometimes have a hard time accepting premarital sex or any other such matters. People still have a reserved attitude towards the concept of sex, although attitudes have changed a lot now, and it's not like talking about sex is taboo, but a conservative attitude towards sex still dominates among the majority. So it is completely understandable that you have concerns about your mom having these worries, and you don't want to tell her or are afraid to tell her that you are no longer a virgin. The problem lies in how to make your mom accept this fact, and you can also treat yourself better and more conveniently. Actually, gynecological exams are very important for every woman, whether she is a virgin or not, regular gynecological exams are necessary. Actually, there is no need to make a big deal out of this, deliberately finding a very formal occasion to explain it. You can try to handle these things openly and honestly, if your mom asks, just tell her the truth, it's not possible to hide it forever, your mom is someone with life experience, she should understand you. Actually, now many people's attitudes towards sex have started to change, and they have become more open-minded. It's not necessarily true that being a virgin means purity, and being non-virgin doesn't necessarily mean promiscuity. I even think it would be great if you and your mom go for regular gynecological exams together, your mom might also have her own concerns, but she has no opportunity to discuss them with others, she wants to get a gynecological exam herself, but she doesn't have the courage to do so, so this is also an opportunity for you two to communicate. Don't think of this matter as too serious and embarrassing, it's really unnecessary, your mom will always love you, she will understand and care about you, so don't always try to hide it, you can be honest with your mom. Best wishes, dear~\ufe0f\ufe0f.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, Lou Lou. First of all, sending you a virtual hug and comforting you. I can feel your dilemma. Now, let's analyze the root of the problem. It seems that your fear stems from the worry that your mom will be disappointed in you if you tell her about this matter. Next, let's discuss some solutions. 1. Give an example: You can provide an example and then relate it to yourself, using this approach to inform your mom. 2. Write a letter: You can choose to write a letter to your mom to explain the situation. This will show that you value the issue. 3. Have a heart-to-heart conversation: You can also find a time to talk directly with your mom, sharing your true feelings so that she can understand you better. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Wishing you a speedy resolution and take care.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I am puzzled why it is necessary to let your mother know that you have had sexual intercourse. Do you feel that you must be honest? Can't you have privacy? You are already an adult, and whether or not you have sexual intercourse is your own decision. Similarly, if you don't want to say, you have the right not to. Gynecological diseases do not necessarily occur only after having sex. For example, when I was 16 and had irregular periods, my grandmother, who is even more conservative than your mother, took me to see a gynecologist. Many gynecological diseases have no relation to sexual activity. Conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome are caused by the body itself. Inflammation is also related to hygiene habits. You have never discussed these things with your mother, and your mother has not taught you either. And you have not taken the initiative to ask your mother. Based on these observations, you have defined your mother as conservative. Just because your mother does not discuss these things with you does not necessarily mean she is conservative. She may think it is unnecessary and may assume that you will learn it on your own, just like she did. But in fact, your mother is a married woman who has given birth to you, so she has more knowledge and experience about sex than you do. Everything exists only in your mind. It is just your imagination that your mother cannot accept it, and your imagination that you cannot tell your mother that you are not a virgin, and your imagination that your mother would think gynecological diseases are related to sex. All of these are just completed in your inner thoughts and do not represent reality. Regardless of whether you tell your mother or not, you are still her daughter. Do you think that if you tell your mother, she will be disappointed and no longer consider you her daughter? If that's what you truly believe, then it is only your perception and does not represent the truth or your mother's real thoughts.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "In your description, I can see your distress and troubles, and a sense of helplessness. Your distress stems from cognitive issues regarding sexuality. From the history of sexual development, there has been a pervasive \"stigmatization\" of sexuality that has accompanied human progress, which is particularly evident in patriarchal societies. For example: ++sex is dirty, ++genitals are dirty, ++sexual behavior is dirty, ++everything related to sex is bad, ++menstruation is bad, ++virginity is good, non-virginity is impure, ... Now that you are 29 years old and at the age of marriage, unless there are special circumstances, why would you tell your mother about whether you are a virgin? What does \"being honest\" mean? Why do you need to be honest? You have the right to privacy, and it's not a big issue whether you tell or not. If you have a physical illness, you would go see a doctor, just go and see, it's your body and your choice. You have bodily autonomy, the right to privacy, and the right to sexual self-determination. \u03b5 Best wishes to you. I am here, the world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11991
 },
 {
  "question": "26-year-old woman, struggling with setbacks in work and life, how can she save herself?",
  "description": "In the past, I was a girl full of positive fantasies about the future. However, after entering society, like a frog in gradually heated water, my heart slowly lost its resilience. I have encountered many setbacks in my work and life, and I always feel inferior to the kids next door. All these have accumulated a lot of pressure in my heart. Especially in my work, I want to change jobs and change my mindset. But the long-term setbacks have made me question my fundamental personality and work style. I feel like no matter where I go, no matter what job I have, I will make mistakes and not do well. Thinking about this, I really don't know how to change everything. Sometimes, thinking about it, I may have negative thoughts that I have no meaning in this world. Recently, work pressure has been increasing, and every time the pressure increases, I have more thoughts of retreat. At the same time, I blame myself, I blame myself for being too weak. I really wish I could be stronger and more confident. Where did I go wrong, what should I do? Thank you for reading my messy confession. I wish you a happy day.",
  "keywords": "Growing up, self-development, stress management, and the meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Positive fantasizing can bring about many wonders for people, but actively engaging and investing is a different matter. In fact, one can only maintain their high combat power by relying on expectations of the wonders. If the actual results are far from expectations, or the expected rewards are too long in coming, or no one around believes in them, it will wear down one's willpower, affect their judgment, and require increasingly strong resilience to continue. At 26 years old, having entered society, you are no longer a child but a fully capable independent adult. Is there any need to compare yourself with \"the kid next door\"? Comparing adults with children is unreasonable and meaningless. If you say that \"the kid next door\" is around your age, then you are still treating yourself as a child. Although you have grown up, you are not mature enough. If it is your parents who compare you to other children and make you feel inferior, and they pass on this mindset to you, then it is definitely their lack of wisdom, and you should not take it to heart. The meaning of work is not to provide easy happiness for people, but to contribute value to the market and society, while it rewards you with a salary, and if it surpasses that, it will give you a certain sense of achievement. Furthermore, the idea of \"changing jobs for a change of mindset\" is full of fallacies. You will gain a sense of novelty from the change in environment and a three-minute enthusiasm of \"I must do this job well\" in the short term. But we must realize that wherever you go, it can be said with certainty that no job is intended to provide a comfortable bed for good dreams, otherwise why set so many barriers for recruitment, everyone knows how to sleep. Obstacles in work are common, and feeling stressed is natural. Obstacles prompt us to seek breakthroughs, and pressure encourages us to strive for progress. If a job does not make you feel obstacles and pressure, it is like boiling a frog in warm water, comfortable but it will lead to death. Most of the frustrations you endure in the long term are mainly due to your self-doubt, because the external world has always been the way it is, moving at its own pace, and you have not yet adapted to this pace, so you stumble along the way. No one wants to make mistakes, and everyone hopes to do things perfectly and receive praise. Making mistakes can make one uneasy, as if the passing score for the whole life keeps dropping because of continuous mistakes, creating fear and a desire to escape. In order to maintain the score, one refuses to continue competing. But the competition has already begun, and the rules have been set, so we cannot request to withdraw. Therefore, we should strive for steady progress rather than being overly aggressive. In this game, if you lose 3 points in one round, you can make up 3.1 points in the next round. But then you lose 2 points in the following round, and in the next and next round, you make up 2.2 points each time... Overall, there is a net increase of 0.3 points. There are three standards to judge whether the mistakes you make are terrible: one is to see if they cause harm and damage to others, the second is to see if they cause irreparable losses to the organization, and the third is to see if they pose a danger to society. Apart from these, you can rest assured to make mistakes because no one will really notice, and you can accumulate work experience in these trivial errors, learn operational skills from them, and naturally make fewer and fewer mistakes, and become adept at your work. You have no problems, and you are not weak, it is just a common human reaction under setbacks. Just remember this piece of advice: You have to work harder than others to make it look effortless. Wishing you all the best!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Have you ever noticed that when comparing yourself to others, you say, \"I can never surpass the kid next door,\" and feel stressed because of it? This kind of comparison can easily lead to feelings of inferiority, whether consciously or unconsciously. When we compare ourselves to others or our ideal standards, we may feel that we are \"falling short\" or \"lacking abilities.\" This sense of not measuring up or lacking abilities can threaten our perceived value. When we are unable to achieve the goals we set for ourselves, we may feel a sense of loss, which can be referred to as a feeling of inferiority. The self-denial and lack of confidence expressed by the questioner are manifestations of this inferiority complex. The questioner says, \"Long-term setbacks have made me question the fundamental aspects of my character and approach to doing things. I feel that no matter where I go or what job I have, I will always make mistakes and not do well.\" What can be done? Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Don't compare your own weaknesses with other people's strengths. We need to have a correct understanding of ourselves and improve our self-evaluation. We should frequently recall our strengths and examples of successful things we have achieved through hard work. We should be good at recognizing our own strengths, affirming ourselves, and using this to boost our confidence. In addition, we should actively engage in social interactions, feel the joys, angers, sorrows, and delights of others, enrich our life experiences, and express repressed emotions through social interactions. By doing so, we can enhance our courage in life, break free from the quagmire of inferiority, and cultivate friendships and relationships, making our mood more cheerful and our self-confidence restored. When facing setbacks and feeling inadequate, we need to learn to seek help from others and seek social support. Where does social support come from? It may come from your parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, and so on. They can provide you with relevant support. Share what you are currently experiencing with your close family and friends, communicate with them, and seek their guidance and support. Generally speaking, the more social support you receive, the easier it is for you to gain self-confidence.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you a big hug. I can really understand your feelings and sense your pain and anxiety. It can be tough when work and life keep throwing setbacks at you. In this fast-paced society, this kind of experience is very common, and many people go through moments of being hit by reality. The key is to rely on yourself to find relief. \n[Problem Analysis] OP used to be full of fantasies about the future but gradually lost flexibility after starting work, lacking the motivation to change, like a frog in boiling water. Facing setbacks at work and in life, comparing oneself to others adds even more pressure. The cumulative setbacks have caused OP to lose confidence and feel that no matter what job they do, they won't do well, leading to self-doubt. As work pressure continues to increase, the thought of retreating internally becomes stronger. \n[How to Solve It] 1. Change your mindset - setbacks are normal in today's society, where people from different industries face different pressures, and everyone experiences setbacks at times. OP, at 26, is just beginning their life journey, and encountering setbacks is normal. Smooth sailing requires caution. The younger years are a period of life when one needs to endure hardships. Some setbacks, in retrospect, are just small waves in the river of life. These setbacks help us grow. Only by experiencing setbacks do we discover our own flaws and learn how to improve ourselves and enhance our current abilities. Change the mindset when facing setbacks, don't just focus on the negatives, consider it as a necessary road in life. Don't compare yourself to others, just be yourself. OP mentioned always feeling inferior to others, which puts a lot of pressure on themselves. Worries stem from comparisons. We grow up in different environments, with different life goals and aspirations, and there is no need to compare ourselves to others. Maybe others are currently more outstanding than you, but it's only temporary. Everyone has their own shining points. Perhaps someone excels in having a decent job and is proud of it, but you should recognize your own strengths as well. Maybe you excel in interpersonal skills, have a talent for languages, or have mastered other skills. Everyone is unique, there's no need to compare ourselves to others. What we need to do is compare ourselves to our past selves, surpass our previous selves, and become better. Be more confident; you are also outstanding. Due to experiencing too many setbacks, OP has lost confidence and feels that they can't do anything well. However, even the successful individuals we see now have also experienced many setbacks and setbacks cannot be taken as a reflection of one's abilities. Some things are beyond our control and independent of our own abilities. What OP needs to do is cultivate their self-confidence, engage in activities they are good at, and carefully analyze their strengths. When facing setbacks, resolve them in a timely manner. Everyone encounters setbacks; what matters is how we handle them. By resolving them promptly, we prevent them from weighing on our minds. When facing setbacks at work, OP can seek advice from more experienced colleagues and continuously learn from their experiences to avoid similar situations in the future. When facing setbacks in life, analyze the causes in a timely manner and clarify your thoughts to provide references and guidance for future life. I wish OP can quickly overcome their troubles and live a happy and joyful life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the title of your post is \"Hello, see you in words.\" From your words, I can feel your confusion and helplessness. Your problems are: 1) After entering society, the feeling of living a comfortable life has made you lose your enthusiasm for life and your fantasies for the future. 2) Setbacks in life and work have increased your stress, leading to self-doubt. 3) You want to change the current situation by changing jobs, but long-term self-doubt is holding you back. You used to be a very capable and positive girl, but after entering society, the life and job that were not as expected made you start to doubt yourself. After experiencing setbacks, self-doubt deepens a little bit, and you hesitate to change. Hence, every time you encounter setbacks, you start to doubt yourself again, and this cycle repeats itself. To break free from self-doubt and escape the self-doubt trap, first, we need to recognize that it is a problem with our way of thinking. Things are always multifaceted, and we need to view them dialectically, looking at problems from different angles, and setting clear boundaries between problems and ourselves. Do not label ourselves with too many negative labels. To enhance our self-identity, you have too much accumulated negative emotion now, so any small self-confirmation will make you feel touched, happy, and contented, provided that you take action. You can start with the things you are good at or like, or start with your current job, change your mindset from being passive to proactive, and look at your work from a different perspective. Perhaps there will be surprises. Record things that affirm yourself and others every day, anything that makes you happy, whether it is being praised by your leader or complimented by your colleagues for your beautiful clothes today, etc. Then, occasionally go back and read it, and you will find that you are really great. Praise others more, praising others is a positive behavior. It not only brings you closer to others but also makes you feel happy. Others will also be more willing to compliment you, and it will be easier to gain self-confirmation. Learn more, work harder, praise yourself more. The world is diverse, and you are unique, so stop comparing yourself to others, because we are all someone else's child. I hope my answer can help you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, title owner! I feel your distress, and I hope to give you a virtual hug to ease your anxiety. You mentioned that your job stress is overwhelming, and you feel like you can't do anything well. However, the current work pressure is immense, causing you to lose confidence in the future. First, let's analyze your job. Is the work itself challenging, or is it the company environment that makes you uncomfortable? Or perhaps you feel like this job is not what you enjoy and you're just settling for it. There are three possible solutions: if the work itself is challenging, humbly seek advice from colleagues who excel in it and strive to learn quickly so that it becomes less challenging \u2013 hard work is the only way; If the company environment is making you uncomfortable and you believe this job cannot fulfill your ambitions, then it might be time to carefully consider your options. After all, you're still young and shouldn't be afraid. If you have a clear goal of what job you want, go for it \u2013 don't wait until you're older to regret it. If you don't have a clear goal in mind, and you simply don't like your current job, then explore something that interests you. Learn if you don't know how. Of course, it's still important to consider the aspect of earning money and not just chase after passions alone. Don't worry if you think it's too late for you to start learning something new. It's never too late as long as you start \u2013 the best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, the second-best time is now. Even if you believe you don't have any hobbies or interests, if you truly lack direction, look at what your friends or people around you are learning or doing, and try learning from them. Just start and gradually you'll find your own path. You'll never know which way to go if you never start. Once you begin, you can adjust your course along the way until you find the best and most enjoyable path. Don't get anxious; anxiety is the most draining of emotions. Instead, take action. Don't be afraid of making wrong choices; be afraid of not starting at all! Keep going! You're only 26, and as long as you don't see age as a scary thing, it won't hinder you from doing anything. You're only 26, and you have the potential to become anyone you want, as long as you work hard! Keep it up! Best wishes~",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, we are the same age, and I am also going through a period where life, work, studies, family, and myself are all tormenting me. Let's chat briefly. [1] You haven't lost your resilience. Previously, full of hope, now being hit hard, you feel like you have lost your bounce, as if you are being pressed and can't bounce back. But in reality, I think it's just a matter of time before you bounce back. The current pressure, sadness, and even the feeling of being unable to breathe and unable to escape, you should take it as the weight on your own resilience. The heavier the weight, the stronger the bounce will be, it's just that it may take a longer time to adapt. [2] Don't deceive yourself. Firstly, everyone's existence has special significance, which is independent of abilities. Don't measure 'having' or 'not having' with 'can' or 'cannot', as these are two different concepts. Secondly, instead of accepting the result that you haven't done as well as others, think about how you came to this conclusion, what evidence is there, and why some people who didn't do as well as you don't even feel that they have done poorly? Perhaps your own expectations are a bit high, or maybe perfectionism, or caring too much about others' opinions, etc. If you understand these things, you will realize that the results you perceive are actually distorted thoughts, not because you truly haven't done well or are worse than others. [3] Don't be afraid of change. If work is really causing you a lot of stress, you should seriously consider whether this job is truly suitable for your personality and values, and whether it can give you what you want. From my perspective, the reason it becomes a source of stress for you is partly due to your own cognitive factors, and partly a compatibility issue. If it is a job that suits you and you are interested in, you will find it easier to turn stress into motivation. If the stress keeps increasing, there may be some elements that are not suitable, and you might have some kind of aversion to the work. If that's the case, under the premise of rational thinking, you can try to make changes. Don't be afraid. Instead of letting stress consume you and being unwilling to change, it is already remarkable to have the courage to try and seek alternatives. Consider it as giving yourself more opportunities, you can do it. [4] You don't have to be a superhuman, just be yourself. Focus your attention on what is real, what you haven't done and what you haven't obtained doesn't actually exist. Instead, think about what you have done, what you have achieved, and what you have given. Don't always focus on what you haven't done well or what you haven't obtained. Also, pay attention to yourself. How do you feel when you are doing things? How do you feel when certain emotions arise? When do you feel better, and when do you feel not so good, etc.? Work depends on people. Firstly, the person doing the work needs to exist well, and then work can be carried out. Instead of bypassing the person and focusing too much on work, you should first focus on the person doing the work, which is yourself. You don't have to be relentlessly strong, the capacity to endure is limited, and if the weight becomes too heavy, the bounce might disappear. It's normal to want to escape and withdraw when faced with pressure, it doesn't mean you are not strong. You may want to face challenges head-on, but before that, allow yourself some buffer and preparation. I also feel tortured, but gradually, I can coexist with the pressure and sadness. I seem to have found a balance where life, work, and other pressures and torments love-hate each other. I no longer want them to disappear, but instead, I am more accustomed to their company. Even though your experience may be different from mine, I hope you can gradually find a balance that suits you. You are already great. Give yourself more time and space, and it will get better.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, let me summarize your situation for you. \u2460 Actually, changing jobs has two sides to it. Often, if you stick with it for a long time, at least six months, you need to be cautious about changing jobs constantly. If you keep changing jobs, you will constantly have to adapt to work changes, and if you don't do well in your job for a short period of time, your stress will only increase. Objectively speaking, either you can't adapt to the job, or this job has no future. However, the job itself always has stress, and you need to face this stress. Stress cannot be resolved in one go, and at the same time, things cannot be done all at once. The process of work is actually a process of improving abilities and enriching one's personality, because you have to face your own laziness and retreat. These are manifestations of inadequate abilities. Actually, I have a relatively good method, which is to be more pure when working. Work is work, and work is different from life. Life can be emotional, but if you bring emotions into work, you will only become more and more exhausted. When working, you need to find a way to detach yourself from negative emotions. \"This is too difficult, why do I have to do this, I can't do it well, why is the boss like this, why does the leader say that,\" if you care too much about your own feelings, you are not really doing the work, you are fighting with yourself, and you will lose to yourself before you even start. You need to find a way to identify those negative emotions and eliminate them through self-positive suggestions as soon as they appear. \u2461 At the same time, don't label yourself or underestimate yourself. People are not fixed, they can improve little by little through effort and diligence. No one is born knowing how to speak, communicate, walk, or do their job, but they learn eventually. That is human growth. The person who used to be mischievous in class has now become a polite boss. The person who used to have good grades has now become someone who walks on the edge of the law. There is no absolute in anything, and you need to find a way to remove those absolute and unreasonable ideas that restrict your growth and development. Those negative and bad things are limiting you and telling you that you can't do it before you have even tried. How can that work? Besides, those things are not objectively true. Also, the purpose of work is not to compete with others, but to improve your own abilities and to support yourself. All the work you put in is not for others, it's for yourself. I hope you can develop a correct work philosophy and attitude towards life. When you carry the burden and move forward, you can walk more solidly. \u2462 My suggestion for you is to take step by step to establish some short-term and long-term plans. The principle of planning is not to aim too high. If it is far beyond your capabilities, it will discourage your enthusiasm. What are your plans for work today? Prioritize and establish good work habits, methods, and approaches. Improving work is not achieved overnight, it requires long-term accumulation. When your work skills gradually improve, I believe your work will become easier and easier. This is the perspective of someone who has been through it, haha. If you feel happy every day, the world is yours.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug, dear. You remind me of my past self, having changed five jobs in my first year after graduation. Because the jobs were in a foreign place, I became numb to all the setbacks and hardships, without the worries of parents or others' comments. Perhaps my goals became clearer. In fact, anyone who faces consecutive setbacks will feel defeated and their confidence will be shaken. I don't know what you have been through, but I believe the outcome must matter to you and your mental state must be uncomfortable. 26 is the perfect age to accumulate work experience, and being young and full of energy, we refuse to admit defeat. It's really difficult when experience and eagerness are not proportional. Young and inexperienced as we are, we always face difficulties and even feel like we're struggling to survive. But from a different perspective, what do we want? Temporary comfort or permanent calmness and composure. The former relies on luck, while the latter depends on ourselves. It's having a mindset to face problems calmly or the ability to handle them easily when solving them. Climbing to the top in one step is difficult, but as long as we work steadily and accumulate slowly, I believe we can overcome any mountain. Dear, have you tried focusing on doing something? Experience satisfaction in the process and enrich yourself through action. When you feel the satisfaction of being focused, you will ignore the thorns on the road, and one day, you will reach the other side of your dreams.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You mentioned that you have encountered many setbacks in work and life. What specific situations are you referring to? Actually, it is normal to face problems when entering society, and these problems are meant to help us grow. You can only become stronger by solving problems. You mentioned that you feel weak, in what aspects do you see this weakness? Why not start by changing your weakness and daring to face some problems? Give it a try.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13213
 },
 {
  "question": "20-year-old female, has always had social issues, feeling exhausted, wants to help herself, what should she do?",
  "description": "I understand my personality very well. I am introverted and have low self-esteem. I lack a sense of security and have a bit of a paranoid personality. I am also very competitive. I struggle to maintain long-lasting intimate relationships and easily get trapped in my own emotions. I have a slight social anxiety and fear men, which is why I have never dated. It is starting to affect my life, and I want to save myself, but I don't know what to do.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Changing oneself where it is no longer applicable will hinder oneself. Take a moment to think about my previous characteristics and features that are no longer applicable to my current life. Are there any others besides what I have written here? Identify each of these one by one. So what goal do I want to achieve next? Make a plan. This way, there is a starting point and an endpoint, and I know where to begin. Next, adjust, optimize, and change. If I want to immediately achieve the ideal image from the beginning, it will be very difficult. So we can choose a gentle approach. Set many small goals for ourselves, of course, these small goals should ultimately align with the big goal we set. Also, set a time to complete them. When the time is up, check those small goals. It's okay if they are not all achieved, progress is what matters. But every time, approach it with the spirit of completing all the goals. For some aspects that are difficult for me to change, try making a slight adjustment to them that is easy and simple. Adaptation comes first. After adapting, continuously make adjustments, and perhaps gradually overcome those \"tough challenges\". For aspects where I am relatively good, I can try to optimize them even further. Try to strengthen and optimize. The feeling of security needs to be established, and it comes from different aspects. Firstly, one needs to love oneself well. There is a saying in psychology: One must love oneself first in order to be qualified to love others. Therefore, no matter what, I should take good care of myself. The future will get better.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, questioner: I noticed in your question that you have a self-evaluation, which can be difficult even if it comes from others, let alone when it comes from yourself. We can reject others' evaluations, but what about our own? It's like hitting our right hand with our left hand. Before dealing with relationships with others, we need to establish a good relationship with ourselves. I don't know if you will be surprised to hear this. Indeed, if we can't treat ourselves well, how can we expect the world to treat us well? Think about how you talk to yourself when you make mistakes. How do you talk to yourself when you are angry? How do you talk to yourself when you only consider yourself and ignore others? What do you say to yourself when you are not satisfied? After answering these questions, what did you discover? I think there may be a lot of self-blame. Be a little more tolerant to yourself, like a friend. If you have less social interaction due to social anxiety, is it better than making it difficult for yourself? Do you really need a long-lasting relationship if you can't maintain intimate relationships? Why do you need it? What troubles does your self-doubt bring, and what are the benefits? Take a look at the troubles and benefits that each of your perceived flaws brings, and then see if you really need to change. There are always many choices that lead us to become the person we are today. What reasons led you to make such choices?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21092
 },
 {
  "question": "I am lazy in doing things and lack confidence. I really hate myself like this. What can I do?",
  "description": "I am lazy and lack confidence in what I do. I really hate this side of myself. Is there any way to change it?",
  "keywords": "Growth",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your evaluation of yourself as \"lazy, lacking confidence\" and that you \"hate this version of yourself\". First of all, if you change the way you describe yourself, for example, as someone who loves to think and is cautious, would it make you feel better? Because a personality always has its pros and cons, it can indeed cause some troubles, but such a personality also surely brings us some benefits. Secondly, let's talk about change. I believe you must have asked yourself, \"I want to change, but I just can't, why?\" What is hindering you? If the underlying obstacles are not dealt with, change is difficult to happen. It could be a sense of powerlessness, not knowing where to start, or fear of the unknown, etc. Through your thinking and experiences, try to figure out what holds you back when you want to change. Then, as for specific actions for change, if your mind feels overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start, try changing in small aspects. Because changing habits is something that takes a long time to do gradually (except for some symptoms of mental illnesses), so give yourself time and start by doing a simple exercise: push-ups. Start with doing two push-ups every day, gradually increase the amount, and once it becomes a habit, try jogging. At first, don't set your goals too high, take it slowly. Exercise is a great way to boost your energy, motivation, and self-confidence. If you're willing, give it a try, take it slowly, and keep at it. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 22264
 },
 {
  "question": "How to deal with evaluations that are prone to absolute judgments and always black or white?",
  "description": "A 25-year-old man who has been working for 4 years, has been isolating himself since the age of 15. During this time, he had two girlfriends with depressive tendencies, which made him become withdrawn and reluctant to seek help from others. His relationship with his parents is also not very good, and after graduating from college, he has had limited communication with his old friends. In the three years he has been in Shanghai, he feels very lonely and often doesn't know how to seek help. He has not established a clear evaluation system and tends to make absolute judgments, using a black-or-white evaluation approach. He is about to start a new job and hopes to address his faults and better integrate into the new work environment. He has been diagnosed with moderate depression in the hospital, which has persisted for 4 years, with continuous periods of low mood and inability to experience happiness. He finds it difficult to trust others, is suspicious of others, and likes to talk about others behind their backs, leading to poor interpersonal relationships in the workplace and difficulties in carrying out work normally.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, deception and trust, empathy.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "You have recognized that you are experiencing such a situation and actively went to the hospital for a diagnosis, which is currently classified as moderate depression. This means that you may need to take medication first to regulate some physiological changes, mainly to improve your sleep and appetite, as well as alleviate some of the negative emotions related to your black-and-white thinking, which has gradually formed as your inherent thinking pattern throughout your growth process. If you want to change this, you may need to be mentally prepared, as it is a gradual process. If possible, it is recommended that you undergo psychological counseling for a period of time. Through communication with the counselor, your entrenched thoughts can gradually loosen, allowing new and more adaptive ways of thinking to emerge.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4388
 },
 {
  "question": "Easily getting angry over trivial matters! My wife really lacks empathy.",
  "description": "My son brought back breakfast. One portion was doupi, which my wife likes to eat. The other portion was re gan mian, which I don't like. My wife just ate what she liked without considering whether I could stomach the re gan mian. She really lacks compassion.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, post owner. The main problem you are currently facing is that you always get angry over small things and feel that your wife lacks empathy. In the example you mentioned, your son brought breakfast, one portion being doupi, which your wife likes to eat, and the other portion being re gan mian, which you don't like. Your wife ate what she liked without considering whether you could eat the re gan mian. You feel that she really lacks empathy. I wonder if you have clearly expressed that you don't like eating re gan mian and would like to eat something else. If not, it is difficult for others to know your intentions. During the communication process, you should also clearly state your problem (such as not liking re gan mian) and express your true thoughts and suggestions (for example, \"I want to eat...\"). Your frequent anger over small things indicates that there is a long-standing accumulation of emotions deep inside you, and getting angry is not because of this small matter, but rather the need for emotional release. Therefore, you need to learn to actively communicate with the people around you and express your inner feelings. At the same time, you can engage in activities that help relieve emotions and stress, such as exercising or pursuing your hobbies. Finally, I wish you a happy marriage and a smooth life!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14120
 },
 {
  "question": "I have been at home for over a year due to illness. Now that I am starting to look for a job, should I be honest during job interviews?",
  "description": "Last year, I resigned from my job due to illness and went back home to recuperate. Now that I have fully recovered, I need to look for a job. Since I haven't been working for a year, how should I handle it if I am asked during an interview about where I have been in the past year? Should I lie and say that I didn't resign and have been working at the same company for the past two years?",
  "keywords": "Profession, career management, job selection skills, work stress.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, your current dilemma is regarding the company's interview, and you are unsure of how to balance the pros and cons. Should you directly tell the interviewer or keep it hidden? I believe you have already considered the advantages and disadvantages between these two choices, but we still need to think about this issue from more perspectives. [Consider whether the guilt and self-blame that lying may bring will affect your future development. ] If you choose not to disclose, it benefits you in the immediate term as it increases your chances of being hired by the company. This is a clear short-term benefit. However, in the long run, once you choose to keep it hidden, you will have to continue to do so. This state of affairs may become a potential burden on your conscience as you develop within this company. In the process of interacting with others, you would constantly have to pay attention to your words and actions, which would greatly consume your mental energy. Therefore, this is a psychological factor that must be considered. [Consider the \"pros and cons\" of hiding and truthfully telling] If the experience of these past two years of illness does not directly impact your future work development, and the main conflict lies in the fact that this experience may lower the company's rate of hiring you, then you can consider the \"pros and cons\" of these two choices from multiple angles, such as reality, the future, physical health, and mental health. You can consider the following factors: the impact of this experience on your true work ability, whether you have had significant work experience before this. The impact of this experience on interpersonal relationships and whether it will affect how others will perceive you in the future, thereby affecting workplace relationships. The impact of this experience on your self-physical and mental development. Considering whether in the future there may be situations where you may have to inform company personnel about this condition and whether there is a possibility of recurrence of this illness. By considering the above factors, you can weigh how you should make your own choice. In summary, if you disclose the relevant information now, you are resolving the conflict in the present; if you choose to keep the situation hidden, you are postponing the conflict to the future. Which is more significant and which is less significant, please judge based on your own circumstances. I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! From your question, I can sense your dilemma. On one hand, you are worried that if you tell the truth, the employer may not hire you due to lack of work experience or biases towards the illness itself. On the other hand, deep down in your heart, you desire to honestly express your actual situation, as being ill is a factual condition that everyone has to face in life. Plus, no one goes through life without experiencing illness, right? Additionally, it could stem from your upbringing, where lying is seen as hypocrisy and hiding from one's true self. Regardless of the situation, my role in this Q&A is not to make a decision for you, which would give you a sense of relief from an \"external\" decision, instead of your own decision. While that could be a temporary solution, it won't provide you with substantial and essential help for your personal growth. My role here is to help you gain a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of your true thoughts and feelings deep within. Once you understand your true thoughts and feelings, making a decision won't be as difficult. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Setting aside moral judgments, how much do you actually need this job right now? Will it affect your actual living conditions? Will you face more external pressure aside from self-doubt (such as loans or the need to support children or elderly parents)? Regardless of the decision you make, self-acceptance and understanding are crucial. Another important factor is the nature of the job you are seeking and whether your illness has completely recovered. Will it potentially affect your future job performance? Keep in mind that covering up a lie requires telling another lie, which can exhaust you emotionally. Considering all these factors, you could list out the advantages and disadvantages of being open about your situation, as well as the benefits and drawbacks of keeping it hidden. And know where your personal moral boundary lies, which aspect is non-negotiable and the line you cannot cross. Once you clarify all these factors, I believe you will have your own answer. Best wishes, and remember that the world and I love you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I can sense your anxious mood considering your current situation. Being sick is a special circumstance, and it is easy to understand the need to rest at home during that time. However, no matter the reason for needing to lie, once it is discovered, it becomes difficult to regain understanding and acceptance, and there is a high chance of receiving criticism instead. Furthermore, having two sources of pressure simultaneously. One is how to weave a lie and how to justify it once spoken? The other is how to find peace of mind after telling the lie? Whether to tell the truth or not is a matter of whether you want others to see you as a credible buyer or a successful seller, and it tests not only personal style but also morality. Your current doubts arise because you see yourself as a seller, wanting to present yourself in the best possible light to find a good job and sell yourself for a good price, which is understandable from an emotional standpoint. However, from a rational perspective, using the behavior of \"looking better\" to cover up the truth infringes on the rights of relevant individuals to know, and it will mislead others into making choices that do not align with their intentions. If you are truly selling a product, this would be considered deceptive to consumers and should be avoided. The viable solution is to have confidence in your ability to fulfill the job position you want to apply for and that you have made ample preparations for the interview, such as continuing your studies during your recovery, understanding the industry and the company's business scope for the position you are applying for, and having a valuable skill set... Try to showcase all of these aspects as much as possible during the interview. For employers, what you did in the past year is not important anymore; what matters is what value you can bring to them. If you cannot bring value, no matter how impressive your past experiences are, they are useless. If your performance can impress, even just through your appearance, manner of speaking, and behavior aligning with the interviewer's preferences, it will have a strong positive impact. No matter what obstacles you faced in the past, they are not truly barriers. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! As an applicant, it is important to understand why the interviewer is asking such a question. From an HR perspective, they are concerned about the stability of the employee, their ability to perform the job, and how to maximize the company's efficiency (hiring fewer people to do more work). Therefore, the best answer should address these concerns. Additionally, different positions have different requirements for individuals. For example, an accounting position would value integrity, while a salesperson would value communication skills. Therefore, during the interview process, it is important to respond to the question according to the specific requirements of the position. Genuine sincerity should be the main approach, and the question can be answered briefly. It is also helpful to show understanding and knowledge of the company, which will leave a positive impression. It's also important to assure the interviewer that you are prepared and capable of handling the job, or that you can take care of your health (as some positions may be concerned about frequent health issues affecting work progress, for example). The interview is a mutual exchange, a process of communication and understanding. You don't need to share all your personal information in one go. Answer only when asked, and don't offer too much unnecessary information. If asked about your whereabouts over the past year, you can answer truthfully. The subsequent answers should be focused on demonstrating your ability to handle the job. Finally, you can ask the interviewer about the specific requirements of the position, which shows your enthusiasm and proactive nature towards the job (this will impress the interviewer). P.S. I sense that you are nervous and anxious about the interview, and worried about the impact of your past illness on the job. Prepare yourself as best as you can, both professionally and in terms of interview skills. You can make a list and go through it one by one, addressing any concerns you may have. Do what you can do, and leave the rest to the interviewer.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Actually, it depends on whether there are potential risks associated with your illness. For example, mental illness may have a possibility of recurrence, and currently there is still not enough acceptance for mental illnesses, especially in the hiring process where companies try to avoid the risks that employee mental illnesses may bring. Therefore, it is not suitable to be completely honest, especially since you only have one year of work experience and are not highly competitive. If your illness is unlikely to recur, for example, if you have had a bone fracture and it has healed without any impact, you can say that at most we can lower our requirements, start at an entry level and then seek development. If you have certain chronic illnesses, it may not be suitable for you to exert yourself too much or work overtime. For example, if you have liver disease, it is not suitable to stay up late. You need to evaluate yourself and avoid looking for jobs that require staying up late. If you are unsure whether it is suitable, you can mention it to avoid compromising your health after starting the job due to lack of accommodation. However, in the workplace, there are not many opportunities for accommodation, so if one job is not suitable, you can adjust your direction and look for a relatively easier job. Therefore, my personal opinion is that whether to disclose your condition or not depends on the flexibility of your physical condition. Generally speaking, if you have one or two years of work experience, there is not much possibility that HR will conduct a background check, but if they do investigate and find out, explaining afterwards will be meaningless. So during this year, you can honestly say that you did not work, and you can have various reasons, such as participating in learning or exams, feeling unwell in some aspect, or spending time on treatment and having already recovered, etc. As long as it is not an illness that would bring risks to the company, HR is unlikely to pay much attention. They may look into your educational background, the content and performance of the previous year's work, evaluate the match with the current position, match the requirements of the employing department, evaluate stability, developm",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Whether or not to tell the truth depends on the specific situation. Although it is not always friendly to deceive others, we also need to adjust according to the actual circumstances. If our illness is indeed a physical factor, and after a year of treatment, there are no problems and we can provide relevant medical reports without affecting future work and life, and if the company values our personal abilities more during the interview, then in this case, we can be honest. Because both parties are aware of our strengths and weaknesses, communication will be easier. If our issues are psychological, then it becomes more complicated to trace the cause. The company's HR department will also consider this aspect. If they do not conduct background checks and the opportunity is really good and we don't want to miss it, then we can indeed hide some information. Of course, we should still demonstrate our basic skills and existing strengths. If the company's investigation is strict and does not allow any concealment, we can communicate clearly and explain our actual situation, letting the company know our strengths and weaknesses. In fact, companies value work and learning abilities during interviews, so as long as we can demonstrate these abilities, it will be relatively easy to secure a job. However, there may be some challenges in communicating with the HR department, so we need to adjust and analyze based on different situations, letting the other party know our advantages. At the same time, we can also inform them of what we can bring to the company. Therefore, it would be best to understand the background and development direction of the company before the interview, as it will make communication easier. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, you resigned due to illness and went home to recuperate for a year. Although you didn't specify what illness it was, the fact that you needed a year to recuperate indicates that it was not a common illness. At the same time, facing this one-year gap in your work history, you are unsure how to explain it and feel conflicted. Actually, for employers, what they value more is your character, your interpersonal skills, and your abilities, rather than what you did during that year. Even if they ask about it, it is just for general information gathering. Therefore, I believe that instead of focusing on whether to tell the truth or not, it is better to spend your time in the right places. For example, what professional qualities are required for the position you are applying for? What are your strengths and weaknesses, and how can you capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses? At the same time, because you haven't been working for a year, you may lack confidence. You can use the \"grow taller and bigger\" method to boost yourself: take a deep breath, imagine the interviewer sitting across from you, keep looking at them, and then imagine yourself growing taller and bigger like a cartoon character, even breaking through the roof. At this point, you will feel less pressure when looking at the interviewer. A positive mindset will greatly increase your chances of success in the interview! Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3522
 },
 {
  "question": "I have been taking sleeping pills to fall asleep for half a year now, am I addicted to them?",
  "description": "Ever since my parents divorced a year ago, I have been suffering from insomnia. I have been taking sleeping pills for almost half a year, and I am very worried that I might be addicted.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, physical responses, disease diagnosis, abnormal behavior.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I saw that you have been taking sleeping pills for half a year and are worried about getting addicted, which has caused you anxiety and fear. Firstly, you need to know that long-term use of sleeping pills (without a specific time limit) can create a habit and lead to addiction. Over time, your body will develop a tolerance, and when you stop taking them, it can cause serious harm including digestive disorders, decreased appetite, nausea, constipation, bloating, fatigue, dizziness, headaches, and blurred vision. Since you have been taking sleeping pills for half a year, I don't know what reactions you have experienced after stopping them. I suggest you go to the hospital for an examination or consult a doctor. Furthermore, relying on sleeping pills for a long period of time isn't a good solution. The best way is to address the distress in your mind and achieve natural sleep. You are experiencing insomnia due to the stimulus of your parents' divorce, and I don't know how you feel about it. Perhaps you still can't fully accept it in your heart. Parents divorcing is a normal occurrence in society. If a couple is unable to live together due to certain reasons, divorce may be their best choice and a way for them to find happiness. Although I don't know the reasons behind your parents' divorce, I believe it was their own decision. I suggest you find a professional psychologist for one-on-one counseling to express your confusion and distress, and work on resolving them. Learn to view your parents' divorce in a better light and regain happiness and joy for yourself. Additionally, you can make some adjustments, such as exercising and reducing napping during the day to make your body tired, which can help speed up sleep at night. I hope my answer is helpful to you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "If it's not pathological insomnia, such as insomnia caused by illness, I have a simple and rough method to solve it: just don't sleep when you have insomnia. You may think this method is absurd, but it actually works. I used to lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling. When I got bored, I would use my phone to read online novels, play mobile games, sometimes even though my eyelids were fighting, my mind remained clear. Now I rarely have insomnia, often I pick up my phone, and within a few minutes, I fall asleep. Why does not sleeping during insomnia solve the problem? Many people, when they have insomnia, try all sorts of ways to solve the problem of \"how to fall asleep\", but the more they focus on this problem, the harder it becomes to fall asleep. You get what you focus on, the more you lack something, the more you think about it, okay, the vicious cycle begins. Now let's look at the problem of \"insomnia\" from a different perspective: insomnia = inability to sleep = some useful awake time more than others. So, don't sleep, don't lie in bed, get up and make the most of the time you can't sleep. Clean, watch TV shows, scroll through TikTok, shop, tidy up the room, exercise, do things that you don't usually have time to do, even do things that you think are a waste of time, anyway, this time of insomnia feels like stolen, you can spend it freely. If you can't sleep all night, then stay up all night. Eventually, you will fall asleep because your body doesn't allow you to go without sleep for too long. And then your insomnia problem is most likely solved. Based on the brief description provided, I don't know what other impact the divorce of your parents has on you, besides insomnia. I suggest seeking professional psychological counseling to help you get through this difficult time together. Occasionally, a proactive and progressive psychological counselor can make a world of difference. And remember, the world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 267
 },
 {
  "question": "Just give money to your parents, isn't that enough? After all, they raised me this way too, right?",
  "description": "I plan to take care of my parents in their old age by providing them with money. I don't want to communicate with them or engage in any form of exchange. After all, they only provided for me and raised me, so when it's time for me to take care of them in their old age, it should be enough. As for their emotional well-being, I have realized that if I continue to be dependent on them, they will only keep demanding from me as their daughter. They wouldn't dare ask their own son for money to support him. I feel like this should be sufficient. The love I give them is always deemed unnecessary and overlooked. Once they start neglecting me, they resort to moral coercion. Ha, parents are truly for a lifetime. No matter how bad it gets, we can't abandon them. But I will fulfill the responsibilities I owe them, as for the emotional connection, I ask myself honestly, I tried my best, but I failed to establish and maintain a good relationship with my parents. It is truly a regret of my life. I'm so envious of children who have grown up immersed in love. When someone is loved, they are capable of loving others. Unlike me, I used to neglect myself, and now I have to exert great effort to grow the self within me, experiencing internal conflict, seeking redemption. It is a painful and lengthy process, but ultimately there is no love from my parents. It's pathetic and pitiful. However, I won't give up on my personal growth because of this. Suddenly, I have made a decision: I really want to separate myself from them. I don't want to continue compromising and enduring this nonsense.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Of course, you can choose to give them love or not, give them money or not, simply leave them, or selflessly give to them without any regrets. What makes you compromise? Maybe it's the expectation that if you give more, they will see you, appreciate you, thank you, and repay you. Or maybe it's the hope that they will express regret, guilt, or unease towards you. Or perhaps it's something else? Because as humans, our behavioral patterns tend to remain consistent when the external environment doesn't change dramatically. For example, those who have helped others in the past tend to be inclined to lend a hand again, while people who have always kept their distance tend to continue doing so. Therefore, there is a greater possibility that your expectations will be in vain. So, if you let go of your expectations for them, and if you only consider \"taking responsibility for yourself and your own life,\" how should you make your choice? For example, some people may choose \"I will care for them, even though they treat me poorly, because I love them.\" Some may choose \"I will keep my distance from them, and I don't want to be taken advantage of by them anymore.\" Some may choose \"I will fulfill my legal obligation of support, but I will set a clear boundary with them and refuse to give them what I don't want to give.\" I don't know you, but I understand that when you wrote these words, you were very emotional. Maybe you don't need an answer on \"how to treat parents,\" but rather you need to express your grievances. I can understand the painful experience of feeling \"They are my parents, I can't refuse, but I don't really want to agree to them.\" I believe that when you calm down, you will have more space for reflection. You can truly make choices, and you can change your choices continuously. While they are still alive, you have limitless opportunities to change your choices. I just want to tell you, when making choices, try considering it from the perspective of \"taking responsibility for yourself and your own life.\"",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 17586
 },
 {
  "question": "Will someone get depressed because of being bullied and excluded in college and not being able to forget it even after two years of graduation?",
  "description": "24 years old, female, graduated from university two years ago. I can't stop thinking about the constant teasing and tormenting from my dormitory roommate in college. I'm not fluent in speaking and I rarely speak up or argue. No matter what I do, she always suddenly says hurtful things to insult or exclude me. This girl was quite popular in class, which made me feel miserable all the time. I was already very self-conscious and scared of dating or making friends. I always have to be careful in everything I do, like walking on thin ice. Even though we don't keep in touch anymore after graduation, I've been constantly brooding over those incidents during my time in college over the past few months. Those inexplicable exclusion, mocking, and provoking keep haunting me, like a monstrous disturbance in my mind. Sometimes, I even experience auditory hallucinations, hearing those voices again. Whenever I do something with my hands, even though I understand the logic, I can't help but think about it on my own. I'm afraid that I might develop depression because of this.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, feelings of guilt and shame, panic and helplessness.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Give the OP a warm hug. I feel deeply sorry for what the OP has experienced with school bullying in the past and understand the harm caused by these malicious events. I also understand the OP's concerns about whether these current situations may develop into depression in the future, which is an uncertain issue. However, what needs to be affirmed is that if the OP remains in this emotional state for a long time, it will definitely have an impact on their future mental well-being. Therefore, we need to seek timely help from professionals to deal with the bullying that the OP has experienced in the past. The OP should believe that through treatment, there is a high chance of overcoming it and facing it bravely. For now, we can start by looking for some \"protective factors\" in life, such as the love and care from family and friends, and recognizing our own strengths and advantages. We need to empower ourselves first in order to have the strength to face everything.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
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     {
      "start": 143,
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     },
     {
      "start": 207,
      "end": 280,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     }
    ]
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 9363
 },
 {
  "question": "I don't want to be in a romantic relationship right now, but I still think about him. Do I really like him?",
  "description": "Recently, I often happen to run into a guy. Ever since that one eye contact, I've been feeling a bit nervous whenever I see him. Sometimes, when I go to bed at night, I can't help but think about him. Unexpectedly, on Thursday, I ran into him while I was stopping my electric scooter. He stared at me for several seconds, which made me very uncomfortable. However, I didn't go up and talk to him. Initially, I intended to study well, but ever since this week, especially after Thursday, my heart has been feeling unsettled, as if everything is in chaos. I don't know why I'm feeling like this, but I keep thinking about him and it's really annoying. I didn't even want things to develop in that direction, but my mind is even more confused now. I even suspect that it has been a long time since a guy paid such attention to me, which is why my heart is so restless... I really don't want to be in a relationship right now, but I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy...",
  "keywords": "Love, single, affection",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ I want to give you a warm hug~~ When you meet this boy, your heart beats fast and you think about him even in your daily life. Perhaps you have already remembered him, and he has a place in your heart. This may have a little feeling of liking, but it may also make you feel uncomfortable if he stares at you for too long. Plus, it has been a long time since you were looked at by a boy for such a long time, so he is a rather special presence for you now, which may make you more likely to think of him. Moreover, you may meet at a specific time and place every week, and with a high frequency in time and space, it is very likely to create an attraction, but this attraction may not reach the level of liking. If you want to judge whether you like him or not, perhaps you can find an opportunity to talk to him and see if you get nervous; or see if you want to inquire about his news, etc. I hope this can help you! Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15420
 },
 {
  "question": "At the age of 30, the family is harmonious, but work is not going well. Feeling easily angered, it seems that there is a deviation in personality.",
  "description": "I have been working at this company for several years, and I increasingly feel that my personality has become distorted.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ Your family is a safe place for you, providing you with a sense of support. At the same time, you also hope to provide better financial support to your family through your work. However, it seems that your work situation is not particularly satisfactory. You have been with this company for several years, and you must be familiar with your field of work. But now you're facing a difficult situation in your job, and you're not sure when it started or what caused it. What keeps you persevering in this job? If this situation makes you feel uncomfortable, you can consider whether your accumulated experience over the years would allow you to find a more suitable job in the same field. Alternatively, you can try to identify and change the aspects of your current job that make you feel unsatisfied. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19579
 },
 {
  "question": "15. Why am I afraid to express my own thoughts while living with my uncle's family during my study abroad?",
  "description": "Because I am studying abroad, I am living with my uncle and aunt. I dare not communicate with them as they are easily angered, especially the aunt, who shouts and throws things when she gets mad. Our family rarely argues, and even when we do, it is not as intense as this. I was really scared when I first arrived, and they often have arguments. Every time they argue, I feel inexplicably irritated. The aunt is going through menopause and sometimes she scolds me, but it's not like she's purposely picking on me. Each time, I just obediently listen and agree with her. Actually, I am really helpless. These are just trivial matters that can easily be resolved if they were discussed with me. My mom told me that every family has their own habits, and she wants me to blend in. I have a general understanding of everyone's habits, but after living here for such a long time, I feel like they don't really know me well. I feel that it is unfair. Moreover, I feel very restricted and lack freedom here. For instance, if I accidentally put something in the wrong place, the aunt gets angry. But what really annoys me is that when her daughter piles things on the table, she turns a blind eye and says that her daughter is going through puberty and can't be controlled. Last time, she asked me to do chores with her daughter, but in the end, I ended up doing them all by myself. Am I overthinking things? I dare not express my thoughts because I am afraid that even for a trivial matter, I will be scolded again.",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and the process of growing up",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Staying in a family where there are strong emotional expressions and frequent conflicts makes you feel uncomfortable, and there is also a lot of unfair treatment towards you. You feel upset, wronged, and depressed, and these are your true feelings. It is a normal reaction for a person to enter a family or social culture that is completely different from their own. At the same time, you may also feel helpless, enduring in such a terrible environment, seeking help from your mother, but she can only ask you to try to integrate. I think you may have many emotions that cannot be seen or expressed, which intensifies your sense of grievance and suppression. Of course, it is not your mother's fault. Perhaps she can only tell you these things. She also hopes that you can have a better experience as an international student. Perhaps we can reflect on what our expectations and needs are for this host family during our study abroad period. If we can define them clearly, we can differentiate what it can and cannot provide for us. When it truly cannot provide, we can accept it as a fact. Without expectations, there won't be disappointment, and there won't be too many emotions. We can still successfully complete our studies. Of course, this is not easy. You can try to seek more support, such as from peers or family members. Even if they can't change anything, being seen and accepted in terms of your emotions may bring you a different experience. Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It can be seen that you have relatively good living habits; you are also very disciplined. However, the host family you are staying with has relatively chaotic habits, including emotional turmoil, which is why you feel confused. Because this state is so different from what you are used to, I understand your feelings and can see your confusion, distress, and helplessness. I suggest that you don't have to fully assimilate into an environment you don't like; you can distance yourself appropriately and focus on arranging your studies, allowing more time for reading and other activities. Can you accept this suggestion?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16216
 },
 {
  "question": "I bought food for my husband and told him that I made it myself, but he figured it out...",
  "description": "I have been married for two years. My husband and I live in different cities but visit each other on weekends. On Sundays, my husband has classes in my city, so after I finish work, I usually prepare a meal for him. However, yesterday, I didn't feel like cooking after work, so I decided to buy him a meal instead. (I mentioned this because when I first finished work, I told him to cook for himself, but then I felt bad about it.) As a result, when he found out that I didn't cook the meal myself, he felt that I was being dishonest and lying to him. He left, and I feel very upset. Normally, our relationship is good, and any small arguments or misunderstandings are quickly resolved. Yesterday, I didn't want him to leave because for me, his leaving implies divorce and separation. However, he insisted on leaving, saying that he just didn't want to stay today, but would come back tomorrow. I feel very sad and don't know what to do. If he wants a divorce, I can accept it.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, conception of marriage, marriage management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I understand your grievances. It seems unfair that you cook for your husband every day, but when you didn't cook one time, he couldn't understand and turned it into a divorce issue. Let's analyze the problem together. From what I understand, for the past two years, you have taken on the responsibility of cooking dinner voluntarily. After a busy day at work, you rush back home to prepare a carefully crafted meal for your husband. He has taken your cooking for granted, and when you took a small break and bought dinner outside, he got angry and wanted to leave. I noticed that occasionally not wanting to cook and buying food instead is a very normal thing, and it should be a basic empathy that both partners understand each other's exhaustion after a long day. However, you expressed worry and felt bad for not cooking. You also didn't tell him that you bought the food. In your mindset, not cooking would lead to blame and a request for divorce. So, the choice between cooking yourself and ordering takeout made you especially nervous, to the point where you couldn't even tell the truth. Your husband didn't appreciate your efforts over the past two years and focused too much on your occasional mistakes. He criticized you for being dishonest, made you worry and fear, and escalated the situation to mention divorce. Did your husband also take on the responsibility of maintaining the household? By deflecting blame onto you, he always appears to be right. Perhaps in this relationship, it always requires you to accommodate and compromise, which is why you feel aggrieved and angry. Suggestions: 1. Both partners' efforts and enjoyment should be reciprocal. When your partner takes your efforts for granted, you should start examining this relationship and demand that they take on their fair share of responsibility and obligations instead of one party shouldering the burden of maintaining the relationship. Relationship maintenance requires the effort of both parties. 2. Communicate with your husband, enumerate your efforts, and in the future, be honest about any other decisions. If one small mistake is used as leverage to threaten leaving and divorce, it is also important to acknowledge emotional abuse.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
     {
      "start": 0,
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      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 87,
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     },
     {
      "start": 201,
      "end": 286,
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     {
      "start": 286,
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     {
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     {
      "start": 444,
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     },
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      "start": 606,
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    ]
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, after reading your description, I can really understand how you feel. Being in a long-distance marriage within the same city means that you have less time together compared to regular couples. In my opinion, whether you personally cook for him or buy food from outside, it's actually a small matter. Your husband is angry because from his perspective, he may cherish every opportunity to be with you and value it greatly. Therefore, he can immediately notice that the meal wasn't made by you, which is what he expected or understands as an expression of love, one of the ways he expects you to show love. I would recommend you to read the book \"The Five Love Languages.\" The first love language is words of affirmation. The second love language is acts of service. The third love language is quality time. The fourth love language is receiving gifts. The fifth love language is physical touch. Each person has their own unique love language. This determines that in an intimate relationship, both parties may express love in their own way, but the other party may not necessarily receive it. On the other hand, what the other party may expect is a different way of expressing love, which we may not be good at or have been neglecting. This requires us to learn and work hard in our marriage to understand each other in order to achieve a more harmonious and compatible interaction.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Madam, thank you for your response! I understand how you feel right now! It's true, anyone would have emotions in a situation like this! Here's another warm hug for you (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 As for how to solve it, I'll share something my therapist said: \"Whoever is anxious, should adjust; whoever is in pain, should change.\" I understand that you're still caught up in your emotions at the moment. However, since the situation has already happened, the truth is paramount. No matter how much you resist, refuse, or sulk, it won't help. Instead, it will only waste your time and energy. Instead of that, it's better to control your emotions, accept this fact, and cut your losses in a timely manner. Then, you can try to find the \"gold mine\" in this matter! When you lied to your husband this time, your intentions weren't bad. It was just that you \"care\" about how your husband views you. That's also a form of \"love\" for your husband, right! But each of us has a signal \"transmitter\" and a signal \"receiver\"! The signal we \"transmit\" is not important; what others \"receive\" is the most important! The signal you sent out to your husband was \"love\", but what he received was a kind of \"dishonesty\" and \"deception\". It shows that there is a serious problem with \"love language\" communication between you and your husband! Think about it, besides this incident, have there been similar situations where there was a problem with \"love language\" communication between you and your husband? Personally, I believe that once you figure out this issue, the problems between you and your husband will naturally be resolved! One saying goes: \"All phenomena are emptiness, but causality is not empty; actions have consequences, so look within yourself for answers.\" You can't change your husband, so try to change yourself instead! Illuminate yourself, so you can illuminate those around you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! After reading your content, I want to give you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065. Actually, both you and your husband love each other. Firstly, you love your husband very much, otherwise you wouldn't cook for him every Sunday and be so concerned about not cooking for him personally. And your husband also loves you, otherwise he wouldn't be so concerned about you \"lying\" to him. Secondly, there is room for improvement in your intimate relationship. Firstly, your husband is too focused on reasoning and has a low emotional intelligence. Regardless, this comes from your good intentions and your love for him. How can he be so concerned with being \"right\" and arguable? Continuing like this would only result in \"winning the argument but losing the relationship\"! Remember, the movie \"Lost in Thailand\" also said, \"Being reasonable in a relationship is the most unreasonable thing!\" Secondly, you indeed didn't tell him the truth and this made him feel insecure. So, my personal advice for now is to be a little spoiled to your husband and apologize! Even if he gets angry or mad, you can say in a sweet way, \"I'm sorry, dear!\" How about that?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I think there is something worth considering, that is, why can't you just say that you don't want to cook and ask someone to buy food for you? In similar situations, if the person is not your husband but someone else, would you handle it the same way? If so, then you should seriously think about why it is so difficult to tell the truth.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 9219
 },
 {
  "question": "This statement seems difficult to make, it's hard to grasp the boundaries. Should we consider learning interpersonal communication?",
  "description": "Once, I was arguing with someone online about an issue. The other person insisted that what I said was wrong and asked me to read a paragraph they wrote and tell them if I understood it or not. I said I didn't understand, and they wrote another paragraph with the same meaning. Again, I said I didn't understand. They did this a third time with a similar paragraph, and I said I understood, but I was wrong. Afterward, the moderator of the forum deleted several of my posts. If someone keeps forcing you to answer whether you understand or not, and if I answer that I understand and I'm wrong, others might think I actually understand and realize their mistake. Plus, online discussions are supposed to be free, while in real life, some people might resort to violence. On the internet, everyone can express their opinions, and everyone can see and evaluate them. So, online discussions are not only free but also mostly logical. The problem is that in this kind of situation, saying you understand is not okay, but saying you don't understand is also not okay. What should you do? It seems difficult to say this and hard to grasp the right balance.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts and disputes, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "And I was afraid that I didn't understand anything, so whatever the other person said, I immediately denied it without even thinking. I couldn't understand what he was saying, and I didn't know what I should say. I couldn't say that the other person was wrong, and I didn't know what his thinking was. I didn't know what questions to ask. Whatever I said, he would firmly deny it. So here's the question, should we have a humble attitude when talking to others and be open to learning from them? If yes, how should we phrase our words to prevent the other person from pressuring us and making us unable to understand what we are reading?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1656
 },
 {
  "question": "Worrying about unrealistic things, feeling very uneasy, leading to anxiety and depression?",
  "description": "I am a senior student, a girl. Recently, I can't control my thoughts about very bad things. I feel anxious and restless. I can't focus on other things in life and it has greatly affected my studies and daily life. I feel that if the terrible things I think about happen, my life would be ruined. I always try to come up with a solution that I can accept, otherwise I can't do anything and my mood is low. It's like this: my boyfriend and I had a sexual relationship in July this year. Until now in December, it has happened more than ten times. One day, when I was browsing the news, I suddenly saw a report about a guy who used his ex-girlfriend's nude photos or sex videos to threaten her after they broke up. This triggered a lot of associations in my mind. My way of thinking is to always imagine the worst possible outcome of things, so I have to be able to accept the worst result in order to not feel anxious. So I started thinking about whether this kind of thing could happen to me. Firstly, my boyfriend and I haven't taken any videos. Secondly, my boyfriend is not that kind of person, we are very loving towards each other. So it's not possible. But then another thought would pop up in my head, saying, \"What if?\" So I searched a lot on Baidu and found many cases like this. Including celebrities like Cecilia Cheung and Gillian Chung, who have had their nude photos leaked.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, panic helplessness.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hi, you understand this yourself, but you also mentioned that you have a habit of thinking about the worst-case scenario. Take a look at yourself and see if you can accept the worst possible outcome. In other words, it's not that you think this will happen between you and your boyfriend, but rather that you want to give yourself a secure judgment, so that you feel you won't be hurt even if the worst happens. In summary: first, you have a lot of insecurity in your relationship with your boyfriend. Either you don't want to break up, or you're worried about giving yourself to a man who may not marry you in the future. Or you have fears and worries about having a physical relationship, such as getting pregnant. These feelings of insecurity have always been there in your heart, but you don't consciously think about them most of the time. It was not until you saw another even more outrageous situation of insecurity that these feelings were triggered. You want to verify and prove that these insecurities are false, but unfortunately, there is everything on Baidu, and the more you search, the more worried you become. All buried feelings in your heart have been proven. Second, in your growth process, have the teachings of being prepared for the worst, being humble in dealing with others, and doing things properly become deeply ingrained? This makes you instinctively think and act according to this logic when it comes to love. The biggest cost of love itself is that you love, and the greatest gain is also that you love. Other than that, it cannot be measured in terms of benefits and losses. If you always approach relationships in this way, you will easily bear the burden of mental shackles. Because we cannot measure the gains and losses in emotions on a balance, even in cases of breaking up, physical harm, or emotional loss. Because these are all byproducts of emotions. Lastly, perhaps it's your perspective on relationships, or perhaps it's your lack of security in your relationship with your boyfriend that is causing this reflex, and it's getting worse. If our upbringing leaves us with certain patterns of thinking, the first power of adulthood is your power to choose, whether to be bound by it or to be yourself and forge your own path in life. This depends on you. I hope this helps you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the worries of the original poster are something that many people can relate to. However, this issue is causing a lot of anxiety for the original poster, as they are constantly being plagued by these thoughts. The original poster has also noticed that their thinking pattern tends to focus on the worst possible outcomes and make the worst possible assumptions. This makes them feel more anxious and unsettled. It's important to note that everyone's thinking patterns are formed over a long period of time, usually through interactions with their parents during childhood. The original poster should reflect on whether they have ever questioned the validity of this thinking pattern and if it aligns with their true desires. Does every situation really turn out to be the worst-case scenario? Here are some suggestions: 1. Write down the most memorable events from the past years and identify how many of them actually resulted in the worst-case scenario that the original poster had imagined. It's likely that there are very few. 2. Regarding the fear of videos being exposed, since no videos were recorded during their time together, the risk of them being leaked is zero. 3. The possibility of information being leaked by a hotel is beyond their control, but next time they can carefully choose a familiar and secure place. 4. The original poster can discuss their concerns with their boyfriend and let him know about their fears. Perhaps his reassurance and open discussion can help alleviate their anxiety. 5. Is this anxiety about the incident rooted in concerns about their relationship? Are they afraid of losing this sweet intimacy and worried about the possibility of being abandoned after giving themselves fully to someone? Reflect on these feelings. 6. Avoid exposure to negative information as the power of suggestion is significant. When you believe that something will happen, it often does. Therefore, try to avoid contact with such information and find other distractions to focus on.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "#It has happened more than ten times so far in December. One day, while reading the news, I suddenly saw a report about a guy who, after breaking up with his ex-girlfriend, threatened her with nude photos or sex videos that he had taken. This triggered a lot of associations in my mind. My way of thinking is to imagine the worst possible outcome of a situation and to be mentally prepared to accept it, so that I won't feel anxious. I started to imagine if something like this could happen to me.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I think it is not necessary to obsess over the desired outcome. There may be many answers to the choices in life. Often, reality is very different from imagination. Let me give you an example: a popular question. If your mom and good friend both fell into the water at the same time, who would you save first? At this moment, our thinking is often limited to this scenario. We feel compelled to choose between our mom and friend. But are there really no other options? Also, why did they happen to fall in the water at the same time? And which body of water did they fall into? If it's not deep water, maybe they can come up on their own. You see, there are many possible answers to this situation. In fact, this question is a trap for our thinking. Because our thinking is bound to the choice between saving our mom or friend, it is difficult to consider other possibilities. Sometimes, we tend to think about the worst-case scenarios too. No matter how much we think, we might not actually encounter those situations. Many things are endless no matter how much we think about them. Don't get caught up and be too demanding of your thoughts. In the world, there may not be true right or wrong. If you think of a negative outcome, instead of getting yourself into it, you should be glad and say, \"Great! It's not me! How lucky I am!\" There is happiness to be found in every aspect of life. Just like what you said, the negative outcomes you thought of can actually highlight your luck. You should feel happy about it. Because you and your boyfriend have never experienced such situations, right? Keep going and everything will be fine. I hope the asker will accept this!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Zhao Wei and Gillian Chung have both experienced incidents of leaked nude photos or videos. I am now very afraid of breaking up with my boyfriend, and then after the breakup, having such nude photos leaked or videos leaked to all my relatives and friends. I feel like I can't go on living if something like this really happens. But we have never even taken such photos. But my mind keeps thinking about what if someone secretly films me, or if a hidden camera in a hotel captures the whole process and then steals my WeChat account to send it to all my friends, including teachers, parents, and friends. Just thinking about this makes me depressed, unable to be happy, and feeling like my life is over. If I get married to my boyfriend in the future, I won't worry about such things. But if we can't continue and end up breaking up, and then such a thing happens, what should I really do? I can't understand this point, I'm obsessing over this every day, feeling very anxious and depressed, I hope everyone can help me.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1594
 },
 {
  "question": "It has been almost 3 years and I still haven't met his parents. Does my boyfriend really care about our relationship?",
  "description": "I don't know if my boyfriend really cares about me. I feel very troubled by the suggestions made by my family. I don't think he likes me as much as I imagined. Otherwise, why haven't I met his parents after almost three years?",
  "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, it's been almost 3 years and I haven't met his parents yet. I don't know if my boyfriend is serious about our relationship; I feel like he doesn't like me as much as I imagined. In fact, you have already given the answer to your question. - \"I don't know if my boyfriend is serious.\" - \"I feel like he doesn't like me as much as I imagined.\" These statements already indicate your perception, that you think he is not serious. When you believe he is not serious, you can come up with 50 reasons to explain why he isn't. However, when you believe he is serious, you can also come up with 50 reasons. The same reason can be interpreted differently depending on the perspective. For example, there is a couple where the husband drops off and picks up his wife every day. To their colleagues, the husband is a caring husband, and they admire his thoughtfulness. However, from the wife's perspective, this behavior is like being confined; she sees his actions as a form of surveillance, as she believes \"he wants to control me, he doesn't trust me.\" Similarly, even though he hasn't introduced you to his parents in 3 years, it may be perceived by many as lack of seriousness. But is it possible that he thinks you are not ready yet, his parents are not ready yet, and he is looking for an opportunity to bring both sides together in a harmonious and friendly environment? If meeting his parents holds significant meaning for you, then you may still have doubts and conflicts about whether you should continue being with him. If you really meet his parents, there are only two possibilities: either both sides are happy with the meeting, or both sides are unhappy. First, if you meet his parents and both sides are satisfied, will your relationship with your boyfriend improve? Second, if both sides meet and the parents are not satisfied, how will your relationship with your boyfriend change compared to before? Through reflecting on these two questions, you may have a clearer judgment about the future.",
    "has_label": true,
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    ]
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ First, let me give you a warm hug. Actually, in a little over two months, I will also have been with my boyfriend for three years. We haven't met each other's parents either, and honestly, I used to have the same worries. Let's analyze together whether we really like each other. Consider the practical situation. I wonder how old the topic starter and her boyfriend are? Are they at the age where they could consider marriage? If they are indeed at that age and have been together for three years, it is appropriate to consider meeting the parents. They can discuss this with their boyfriend and see what he thinks. If they are still students and haven't reached the stage of considering marriage, my personal suggestion is not to rush into meeting the parents. Some things cannot be solved easily, so they might as well wait until the time is right and let everything happen naturally. I wonder if the boyfriend's family knows about the topic starter's existence? If they do, but they still haven't met, it's possible that the other side hasn't considered it yet. It's evident that the topic starter cares a lot about this relationship and her boyfriend, but she may also be a little afraid that he doesn't like her enough, which is actually quite normal. The suggestions from the family are distressing. I'm not sure what specific advice the topic starter's family gave, but I'm sure it hit a nerve with her. Maybe she is currently feeling conflicted and doesn't know what to do. But at the same time, the topic starter must have her own thoughts, just lacking the courage to face them. She can try to analyze rationally the suggestions from her family and her own true feelings. After all, a three-year relationship must have some foundation to have come this far. Communicate with her boyfriend. Actually, caring for someone is multifaceted. It doesn't necessarily mean that the boyfriend doesn't care about her. It could be that he hasn't thought about it yet or he fears that she's not ready, or maybe he himself isn't ready. It's okay. The topic starter can find a suitable time to talk to her boyfriend about this topic, allowing both sides to understand each other's thoughts. Perhaps the problem will be resolved easily. Finally, I hope the topic starter and her boyfriend will grow old together. Good luck.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, hello. Hi, the questioner here is giving you a hug. After being in a relationship for three years, it feels like the boyfriend is not putting in enough effort. Is it mainly because he doesn't want to introduce you to his parents? The parents' suggestion is causing a lot of distress. After three years of dating, the parents believe it's time to talk about marriage. However, the boyfriend doesn't want to introduce you to his parents. I don't know if the pressure from the family is the reason for wanting to meet the parents and discuss marriage. Maybe the questioner isn't in a hurry to meet the parents themselves. But under the parents' suggestion, there is some pressure and even a feeling that the boyfriend doesn't care about you at all. In three years of dating, the boyfriend hasn't mentioned anything about introducing you to his parents. I don't know if the questioner has brought up the topic of parents in the process of dating, and what was the boyfriend's reaction? Because he doesn't want to introduce you to his parents, do you think the boyfriend doesn't care enough? Or does he generally not show that he cares in everyday life? Under the parents' suggestion, the questioner is also becoming a bit anxious. The questioner still needs to carefully consider whether the boyfriend's lack of care is due to other reasons in the process of their relationship, or if it's mainly because he doesn't want to introduce you to his parents. If you generally have a pleasant time together in your daily life, then the questioner can mention it or take the initiative to suggest meeting his parents and ask for the boyfriend's opinion. Ask the boyfriend why he is unwilling to introduce you to his parents. Maybe he has his own reasons, so communication between the two of you is still necessary. If in any aspect, whether it's meeting the parents or in everyday life, he is generally distant and makes you feel uncared for, then you can consider following the family's suggestion. Observe him more in daily life. Don't immediately reject him, after all, you have been together for three years and there is still some emotional connection. These are my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, original poster! Sending you a big hug. After being in a relationship for three years, if your boyfriend has not introduced you to his parents, does it mean he is not serious about you? First of all, \"being in a relationship for three years\" and \"meeting the parents\" are not necessarily correlated. I have a friend who dated for six years before introducing their parents, because they felt it was the right time to talk about marriage. Have you and your boyfriend discussed your future plans? Have you talked about your desired age for marriage, for example? If he hasn't introduced you to his parents yet, it may simply be because he is not ready. This \"readiness\" could be related to material or psychological factors, or even age. Are you feeling that your boyfriend is not serious about you because he hasn't introduced you to his parents, or is there another reason? However, what you need to understand is that introducing someone to parents is not the only determining factor of seriousness. I have a relative whose son has introduced several girlfriends to their parents, but none of them became a true daughter-in-law. You should reflect on how your boyfriend treats you on a day-to-day basis and whether he shows enough care for you. The matters of the heart are like drinking water - only you can truly know how cold or warm it is. I won't judge too much. Just focus on how you truly feel. You mentioned receiving advice from your family, but I'm curious about what kind of advice it was. Did they think it's time for you to talk about marriage? If so, what do you personally think? Do you feel the pressure from your family to meet his parents, or do you genuinely believe that he is someone worthy of spending your life with? Ultimately, you are the one living your own life, and it is important for you to understand your true thoughts and feelings. I hope this can help you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! If your boyfriend doesn't want you to meet his family and seems indifferent to your relationship, there may be other reasons. 1. His family's economic situation might be average, and he might be afraid that you will look down upon them or their living conditions. He might also fear that you will think less of him, so he hasn't brought it up. 2. He might be a bit clueless about when is the right time to introduce you to his parents. Three years is indeed quite a long time, but perhaps he considers himself still young and thinks it's too early to talk about marriage. For guys, three years might not be that long. 3. He might be uncertain about whether you would want to meet his family. In this case, you can hint at it or ask him about his family on special occasions, like the Double Ninth Festival or the Mid-Autumn Festival, and say that you bought some fruits or mooncakes for them and ask him to pass it on. This way, you can observe whether he wants you to meet his family or not. Trust is crucial in a relationship! I hope you find happiness in the end!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! You mentioned that you have been with your boyfriend for three years, but he hasn't introduced you to his parents yet. You feel that he is not serious about you. First, I wonder if you know about your boyfriend's family situation. If you don't, you can ask him and see if there are any special circumstances that are preventing you from meeting them. If you know that there are no special circumstances but after three years your boyfriend still hasn't mentioned any plans to introduce you to his parents, then it's time to seriously consider the situation. Has your boyfriend ever mentioned any plans to get married? From what you described, it seems that you entered this relationship with the intention of eventually getting married. If your boyfriend doesn't have the same intentions, it means that your future goals are different, and you need to carefully consider whether you want to continue the relationship. If your boyfriend does have intentions of getting married but believes that now is not the right time, you need to determine if his reasons are legitimate. If his reasons are trivial, it shows that he doesn't want to marry you, and you need to think carefully about the relationship. In summary, you need to find out the reasons behind your boyfriend not introducing you to his parents. If those reasons are acceptable to you, then you can consider whether or not to continue the relationship. If those reasons are not acceptable to you, then it's time to leave, even though it's difficult. If he is not serious about you, doesn't love you enough, and doesn't want to marry you, there's no need to waste any more time. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I can feel your complex emotions. You have been with your boyfriend for three years and have not yet met his parents, which makes you feel that he is not serious about you. So, what does meeting his parents mean to you? Do you hope that their approval will confirm your relationship? I don't know the details of your three-year relationship or how you usually interact with each other. Whether he is serious about you does not depend solely on whether he introduces you to his parents, but on the everyday moments you spend together. So, during these three years of being together, have you felt that he is serious about you? Another point is that everyone has a different definition of what it means to be serious about someone. In your case, it seems that your boyfriend introducing you to his parents is a sign of seriousness, but from his perspective, his definition and criteria may be different. You mentioned that you are distressed by your family's advice, but what kind of advice did they give? In reality, your relationship is between the two of you, and only you both know how your feelings have evolved over the past three years and what you have been through together. Some words or advice from your family may be out of concern for you or simply following societal norms. It is up to you to discern and make decisions. Even if he introduces you to his parents, does it really mean he is serious about you? And if he doesn't introduce you to his parents, does it mean he is not serious? Perhaps what you need is a sense of affirmation and validation for your relationship, and it seems that your family is commenting because he hasn't introduced you to his parents. In this situation, your perspective is important. So, how does he treat you? What does meeting his parents mean to you? That is what you need to understand.",
    "has_label": false,
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11563
 },
 {
  "question": "How to resolve conflicts in the dormitory? How to effectively communicate with roommates without putting oneself in a difficult situation?",
  "description": "When I wake up and my roommate is still sleeping, I always try to be very careful and avoid making any noise that might disturb them. But every time I accidentally make a sound, my roommate gets annoyed and even directly points it out, which embarrasses me. However, when my roommate is sleeping, they always make loud noises by eating, laughing, and playing games. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but if I complain even a little, their face immediately becomes unpleasant, making me feel awkward. How can I solve this conflict? How can I talk to my roommate in a good way without making myself uncomfortable?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates, classmates",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! Your description is very clear, and it's obvious that you feel wronged and helpless. Hugs to you, this feeling is definitely uncomfortable and even terrible. If it's causing trouble in your life and studies, it is necessary to take some measures. Let's see what we can do together. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[Timely response is the attitude of interpersonal relationships] \"When you wake up while your roommate is sleeping, you always walk on eggshells, afraid of waking them up. But every time you accidentally make a sound, your roommate becomes impatient and even directly points it out, making you feel embarrassed.\" Baby, you are considerate of others' feelings. But your good intentions are not understood, and instead, when you make a little noise unintentionally, it is discovered and pointed out harshly. How do you usually respond in such situations? If you tolerate it, it may continue to happen in the future; it is better to express yourself, sincerely apologize, and then honestly state that everyone should respect each other and use considerate language when living in a dormitory. This kind of expression requires firmness and gentleness in attitude and meaningful words. Remember, sometimes a timely response is the attitude of interpersonal relationships, and even represents the principle of interpersonal relationships. A good relationship pattern is when everyone feels comfortable. [Resolving awkwardness with humor and honesty is important] \"But when you are sleeping, your roommate always makes loud noises, eats, laughs, plays games, and whether it is intentional or unintentional, if you mutter a few words, their faces immediately turn sour, making you even more embarrassed.\" There are many troublesome people in the dormitory, so awkward situations are inevitable. Resolving awkwardness with humor and honesty is key. When your roommates don't consider your feelings, muttering is meaningless and even insincere. Think about how you feel when you hear someone muttering. Be bold and sincerely say, \"I am tired and want to rest, can everyone please lower their voices a bit, thank you!\" At this time, most of your roommates should not make any noise. If there are still objections, maybe their mood was affected, so just allow them to vent. [Be brave to be yourself, be sensitive in emotions, and be magnanimous in character] Being brave to be yourself is self-protection and also tells others how to communicate and get along with you correctly. There's no need to be aggrieved every time, but of course, we also need to be magnanimous and accept that others are different from us, with different values, ways of getting along, language habits, and even sleeping habits. Seeking common ground while reserving differences is a necessary principle of collective living. Seeking common ground while reserving differences allows us to gain recognition from others and integrate into the collective. Being emotionally sensitive allows us to empathize well with others and be able to promptly consider their feelings, which will earn us recognition from others. ... Love yourself, be yourself, bravely express yourself, and at the same time, it's okay to accept that not everyone likes us, and of course, we don't necessarily have to like everyone. Seek common ground while reserving differences, be emotionally sensitive, and be magnanimous in character. That's what it means to navigate through interpersonal relationships. The sky is blue, you're here, life can be beautiful! The world, I love you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ First of all, sending you a virtual hug~ I have had similar experiences to you, and sometimes I feel like I'm being careful, but I still receive complaints from my roommate. However, when it comes to the noise caused by roommates, they themselves are unaware of it, and occasionally, when I mention it, I get argued with, which is a bit unfair. Living with roommates means accommodating each other's lifestyles. Everyone has different ways of living, so there will be an adjustment period. I think if roommates have opinions about each other, they must bring them up. If you keep your emotions bottled up, not only will you feel uncomfortable, it can easily affect your mood and lead to conflicts with your roommates, making the situation difficult. As for how to express your feelings, we can use a tactful way. For example, you can tell your roommate that your sleep quality hasn't been great lately and it's been hard to focus on studying, so you hope to plan for quiet time after 11 PM where no one can make too much noise. Living with roommates requires compromise because roommates cannot accommodate each other's lifestyles like family members can, so it requires mutual understanding and compromise. It's important not only to bring up the issues but also to collectively come up with a \"peaceful coexistence\" plan. If you have communicated with your roommate, but the problem cannot be resolved, then you may have to consider moving to a different room, as continuing to live together can be uncomfortable. I hope you can have a good conversation with your roommate to resolve the conflicts and not keep the problem to yourself~ I wish you all the best in life~.",
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  "questionID": 19115
 },
 {
  "question": "Excessive saliva OCD, often feeling the need to swallow saliva, is extremely difficult every day. What should I do?",
  "description": "I don't even know how to express these broken things myself. I used to be in a bad state all the time, constantly feeling the need to swallow saliva. It's super embarrassing and I wonder how others feel when they see me like this. Maybe a lot of people wouldn't want me to work with them anymore. Now I just hide at home every day and don't dare to go out. After a while, I read a book about microexpressions, and my whole life fell apart. I always think about other people's embarrassing situations and feel inferior or something. As a result, I avoid looking into other people's eyes and hide from a lot of things. I've been very upset these past few days. I saw someone with a scar on her face, like my aunt. When I saw her, I completely panicked. I don't know what to do. It's really uncomfortable for me to stare at her, and I can see that she's also uncomfortable. But if I don't look at her and she keeps talking to me, it's also not right. What should I do? It's always causing trouble for many people, but I don't know what to do. I have OCD related to saliva, and even when typing, I keep swallowing saliva, which limits my ability to express myself.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear, swallowing saliva is normal... I even Baidu-ed it: a person swallows saliva about 580 times in 24 hours, because even if you don't eat, you still need to constantly swallow the saliva secreted in your mouth. And the frequency of swallowing saliva varies in different situations: when sitting and reading, the frequency of swallowing saliva reaches 37 times per hour; when talking, saliva increases and the frequency of swallowing saliva is even higher. In a lifetime, a person produces 23,600 liters of saliva, enough to fill two Olympic swimming pools. So, while reading your text, searching on Baidu, and typing this paragraph, I specifically counted and swallowed saliva more than ten times. The difference is that I know that swallowing saliva is normal, so I don't focus on the swallowing action at all, and hardly notice it. But you pay special attention to this action, so you keep counting the number of times and being mindful of swallowing. Generally speaking, the occurrence of obsessive-compulsive disorder is related to a lack of inner security in the individual. It seems that you have experienced a lot of stress in work and social situations before, and are afraid of not being liked or being disliked by others. I wonder if you can recall the pressure events that made you start to pay attention to swallowing saliva? That may be your psychological barrier. Find it, resolve it, and your saliva obsession will naturally go away. Another thing is the sound of swallowing saliva. It cannot be heard by others. You can focus and try to listen when someone near you is swallowing saliva (the Adam's apple of men is more prominent and easier to observe). Can you hear the sound? Don't always subjectively imagine that the sound is very loud. If you hear your own swallowing sound loudly, it's because on one hand, you pay special attention to it, and on the other hand, swallowing occurs inside your own body and resonates, so if you listen carefully, anyone's swallowing sound will be loud. But no one will constantly listen right next to our throat, so in reality, others can't hear it. If you can't hear the sound of someone else swallowing saliva, it means that they can't hear yours either. One more thing, according to traditional Chinese medicine, weakness in the spleen and stomach can lead to increased saliva secretion. It is recommended that you see a Chinese medicine practitioner and adjust your body. When your body feels comfortable, and you eat and sleep well, your psychology will naturally be more relaxed.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "***Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a centipede that went out for a stroll. It ran into a frog. The frog asked the centipede: When you walk with so many legs, do you start with your left foot or your right foot? After hearing this, the centipede never knew how to walk again. Why did this happen? Because eating, walking, and even swallowing saliva are all subconscious automatic actions. When you pay attention to them, they cannot function properly. Just imagine, you're walking down the road when you're hungry. On one side is a restroom, on the other side is a restaurant. But you keep focusing on the restroom. Can you solve the problem of your hunger? Just like you mentioned, your uncle has a scar on his face. Everyone has a need for communication, so when they meet your uncle, they happily chat with him and pay attention to what he is saying, that is, they listen attentively. But you, on the other hand, don't do that. You focus on the scar on his face and on whether you should swallow your saliva. As a result, you only experience suffering. So, how do you solve this problem? The solution is to accept and allow yourself to swallow your saliva. Then shift your focus to the conversation with your uncle. At first, you may still feel uncomfortable, noticing yourself swallowing saliva, and even feeling like everyone around you can hear the sound of your saliva. It's okay, allow yourself to make mistakes. Tell yourself that only dead people don't make mistakes. So what if I swallowed my saliva, what's the big deal? Am I going to be sentenced to death? Am I going to be executed by firing squad? Since that's not going to happen, there's nothing to be afraid of, right? The worst outcome is that you feel embarrassed again, but you've been in awkward situations before, so what's one more time? By accepting the worst outcome, you naturally won't be afraid of facing this problem anymore. When you feel that you have saliva, just continue chatting with others, allow yourself to swallow your saliva, and remind yourself to speak up more. Gradually, you will stop focusing on the saliva. If you don't pay attention to it, it will disappear.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I want to talk about the experience I also had with you and Auntie. I even find it a bit inexplicable. When I'm in class and looking at the teacher, I always feel like staring at them makes them uncomfortable. I don't even know where to put my gaze. From this experience, I think that you are a person with a soft heart who can empathize. Everyone pays special attention to things that are different. Otherwise, why is it said that the best respect for disabled people is to treat them as normal people? This also indirectly shows that many people actually pay attention to physical defects. Everyone is imperfect, we all have flaws. When talking to Auntie, being gentle and natural is the best way to show respect to her.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20853
 },
 {
  "question": "I always feel ignored and buried, unhappy. What should I do?",
  "description": "The relationship between my husband and my siblings from my natal family is too good, even surpassing my relationship with them. It should have been a good thing, but I always feel like I am being ignored and overshadowed, which makes me unhappy. It's true that I don't have the same emotional intelligence as my husband and I struggle with social interactions. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, it seems that your husband is a very skilled person in interpersonal relationships. You mentioned that he has high emotional intelligence, so I applaud your husband! Congratulations on finding an emotionally enriched husband! You are unsatisfied and unhappy with your husband's current state. However, upon closer examination, it seems that you are not actually dissatisfied with your husband, but rather with your own inability to handle interpersonal relationships well. Is that right? In fact, if you carefully reflect on it, you must also be a very outstanding person. Otherwise, why would such an exceptional husband be interested in you? The teacher advises you to: look at yourself in the mirror every day and appreciate yourself. Recall your past achievements each day and feel your own worth through those achievements. Rediscover a sense of accomplishment and regain your confidence! Write down something satisfying that happens to you each day and review them from beginning to end every weekend. You will definitely discover that you are an outstanding individual. It's just that your excellence has been overshadowed by your negligence on a daily basis, and your excellence has been drowned out by your dissatisfaction with yourself, right? When your mood improves, you will have a different view and will appreciate and be proud of your husband in every way.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Author, hello~~~ I'm sorry to see your sadness and concerns. Hugs to you~ I can actually feel your unhappiness. In your heart, you see your relatives as your strong support, but you can try to think of this situation in a positive way. If your husband gets along well with your family, it means that he has already integrated into your extended family. He loves not only you but also everything about you. It should make you feel better. I think maybe you are someone who cares a lot about the relationship with your siblings. You have a strong sense of belonging. I suggest you try to accept some of your husband's good qualities. After all, love means expecting the other person to be better. Maybe you are afraid that your spouse is too strong or outstanding, which makes you feel overshadowed. But I believe that family members have a blood connection and a bond of kinship, so you don't need to deliberately prove yourself. They will always love you and their love for you will not decrease because your husband has better emotional intelligence than you. I hope my non-professional advice can help you!",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 7888
 },
 {
  "question": "Just broke up and found out I'm pregnant, should I go ahead with an abortion?",
  "description": "Just broke up half a month ago. We used to live together, but now I find out that I'm pregnant and I don't want to tell him. He wants me to keep the baby and come back to him, but we are both financially incapable of raising a child right now. Ever since I found out about the pregnancy, my mood has been really low, and I can't help but feel sad every night. My body also feels uncomfortable. I've been waiting for his call, hoping that he will come back to me. I don't think it's because I still love him, but because I can't let go of the efforts I put into our previous relationship. After all, it was my first love. Please, can anyone tell me how to move on from this?",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, and maintaining a romantic relationship.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I am currently a pregnant woman. My husband and I got married shortly after we met, it was a flash marriage. We both have stable jobs, but even so, I worry every day about not having enough money to raise a child. Moreover, I have been suffering from severe morning sickness and experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort in my stomach during pregnancy. The monthly check-ups and nutritional supplements alone cost no less than 5000. Despite that, the baby is still small and it has concerned our family members. Furthermore, I had plans to take the postgraduate entrance examination and change jobs before, but now that we have a child, all of my plans have been disrupted. My husband wants me to stay in my current job since it allows me more free time to take care of the child. The family and the child are forcibly erasing my life goals, and I feel that changing the current situation is very, very difficult! So, personally, I think if your relationship is not stable, you have just graduated, and your job is not yet stable, I suggest you not to have a child. Because having a child will make you doubt your life. However, if the other person is well-off and can provide for your needs, and you also long for a life together with him, then go ahead and have a child, it's up to your personal choice, but it's best to ask your parents' opinions as well.",
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  "questionID": 21993
 },
 {
  "question": "Feeling that interpersonal relationships are very complicated, not knowing what to do, and feeling helpless?",
  "description": "Interpersonal relationships have been troubling me for many years. Although I keep trying to persuade myself to be more open-minded, I still get caught up in things when they happen. I am a sensitive person who tends to see things in a simple way. I lack confidence and depend too much on others. I believe that being able to chat and get along well with each other means being good friends. However, in their eyes, I am just a passing acquaintance. It's awkward for me to meet someone again after a disagreement or unpleasant encounter. I can't understand why some people can argue and still be all smiles, only to delete each other afterwards. Isn't that exhausting? I believe that once you consider someone a friend, you should be there for them through thick and thin. But in reality, I am just one of many in her social circle. I often belittle myself and dare not refute their opinions or dislikes, fearing that they will get angry. Interpersonal relationships are not what I imagined. It feels fake and I feel weak and miserable. I don't have any true friends, and it seems like everyone is hiding something and being cautious of each other. It's tiring and negative. I envy those independent individuals and think they are amazing because they can let go and move on. I feel like I have made a mess of myself, trying to please everyone but ending up with a dual personality. I don't know what to do.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I can sense your frustration and helplessness. Sending you a hug! Firstly, based on the description, there are a few points that I can roughly gather from what you want to express. You feel lacking in self-confidence and tend to rely on others. When communicating with others, you tend to position yourself too lowly. You are afraid to contradict others, fearing that they might get angry. You feel that interpersonal relationships are hypocritical and negative. You envy independent individuals and want to change the situation of being a pushover. Secondly, let's explore the reasons behind these feelings. Feeling lacking in self-confidence and relying on others is ultimately because we don't have enough self-assurance. Sometimes, depending on others is not necessarily a bad thing because certain tasks cannot be accomplished solely by ourselves. Regarding positioning ourselves too lowly when communicating with others and being afraid to contradict them, fundamentally, it means that we are considering others' actions from our own perspective. In order to maintain harmonious interpersonal relationships, we must separate our concerns. Our concerns include the opinions we express and our own perspectives, while how others understand our opinions and whether they get angry is their concern. We cannot control or grasp their concerns. What we can do is clearly present our opinions without passing judgments on others. It's important to separate concerns. Lastly, feeling that interpersonal relationships are hypocritical and negative shows that you are seriously contemplating your own interpersonal relationships. Wanting to become an independent person ultimately means desiring to have good interpersonal relationships, where the importance of handling them diminishes, allowing you to come and go freely and adeptly. We must understand one thing: we are destined to be alone, but at the same time, we are social beings. This requires us to learn how to be alone and blend harmoniously into society. So, what should you do? First and foremost, it's crucial to \"find and become your true self.\" Because we all know that it's exhausting to be an actor throughout our lives. Therefore, we must face life sincerely. Being genuine is essential; only sincere friendships can last and allow for sharing joys and sorrows. When you have free time, you can read more domestic and international literature, such as \"Love in the Time of Cholera,\" \"One Hundred Years of Solitude,\" and \"Intimate Relationships.\" Accept both your good and bad sides, as each of us has strengths and weaknesses. Since people are inherently lonely, learn to be alone. Lastly, I hope your life can become happier and more fulfilling. I am \"Finding the Meaning of Life,\" a young individual engaged in heartfelt dialogue. Writing is not easy, so please give me a like. Thank you! Let's progress together!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! We are a group of people constantly improving and perfecting ourselves, and I hope that my past experiences and solutions can help you. I also have similar feelings: sensitive, cautious, and especially concerned about the opinions and feelings of others. A single remark or glance from someone can bother me for days. I feel immature, dependent, and rely heavily on the people around me. I feel like a burden and think poorly of myself. Those days were really tough, living in constant fear and anxiety. But, dear OP, I have good news for you. When you realize this and start making changes, it marks the beginning of self-improvement, and that's something to be happy about! OP, based on what you've said, I feel that the root of the problem lies within yourself, not your surroundings or interpersonal relationships. So, based on your experiences and some of my own, I'd like to give you some practical advice. Let's start with how to boost your self-confidence. Building self-confidence is actually quite simple. I have summarized four points: 1) Dare to challenge things that scare you. Think about things you've wanted to do but were afraid of, and try to overcome your fear. Once you experience it, you'll realize it's not that bad. You can even write down the things you're afraid of and remind yourself when facing them again that you have already been through it before, it's the second time, so there's nothing to fear. 2) Self-confidence comes from abilities. Learn more, as knowledge is power. When you encounter situations that can be solved with the knowledge you've acquired or read about in books, you won't be as afraid. 3) Develop practical skills and cultivate your interests and hobbies. There are many talented and confident people around us who always have a smile on their faces. So, can't we also cultivate our own interests, talents, or hobbies? 4) Communicate with the outside world, understand yourself, and strengthen your self-confidence. I believe you have friends you can confide in, or you can communicate with your parents and family. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. We often focus on ourselves, so it's necessary for you to discover how others see you. Now, let's talk about how to overcome dependence and become independent: 1) Develop independent thinking. The same thing can have many different opinions, so don't easily judge what others say as right or wrong. You must have your own independent thinking, sincerely think about how to handle the situation, and then make a judgment. Develop this habit to become more mature and composed. It's also important to learn how to empathize. 2) Diversify your social circle. Don't always go to the same places, eat the same food, or talk to the same people. Actively seek out new experiences. Many people stick to their comfort zones because it brings a sense of security. However, if you want to think independently, you need to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. 3) Control your emotions. Learn to control your emotions and not let sadness, anger, fear, or jealousy ruin your life. These negative emotions may naturally arise, but you shouldn't let them govern your actions. Train yourself to stay calm and focus on positive things. Pay attention to the beauty around you and write them down in a notebook. After some time, when you look back at the notebook, you'll realize that your life is full of beautiful things. Lastly, let's talk about how to handle complex interpersonal relationships. Based on my own experiences and feelings, it's important to understand that although we all live under the same sky, we are all unique individuals. Not everyone understands or empathizes with our feelings. All we can do is to do our best and stay true to ourselves without compromising unnecessarily. When you feel small and treat others with humility, you often end up being taken for granted. Each of us is a distinct individual with our own ways of living. We have our own interests, hobbies, and temperaments. We don't need to sacrifice our own well-being for the sake of others. Don't let others' comments or actions affect you. Why should you let others hurt you? Isn't it unworthy? You may see how others treat their friends or behave, but perhaps that's just how adults should act - being able to let go, not dwelling on the past, and not fearing the future. It's difficult enough to become the best version of ourselves, so once we have taken care of ourselves, we can then go on to help others. When you can't even manage yourself properly, offering help to others may backfire.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Seeing words is like seeing each other face to face. I hope these words can bring you even a little warmth. Hugs to the sensitive you. In fact, most of the problems in interpersonal relationships come from different understandings of this relationship by both sides. Just like you said, you treat others as good friends, while others only see you as a passing guest. In this way, you, who invest more emotions, will unconsciously be in a disadvantaged position. Don't take friendship too seriously. This doesn't mean that friendship is not important, on the contrary, good friendship can have a profound impact on a person's life. We all hope to have lifelong good friends, but such friends are often rare to come by. So, it is not wrong to say that friends are passing guests in life. The only one who can accompany you throughout your life is yourself. So don't underestimate yourself either. The friendships that require you to sacrifice yourself to maintain are not the friendships that can accompany you for a lifetime. As for you, you should first learn to please yourself, and then please others. Although sometimes it is not easy to be open-minded just by wanting to be, at least you should make efforts to change. For example, bravely speak up when you don't agree with others' ideas, even if it's just a joking remark. Keep telling yourself that \"I am the most important\" to overcome feelings of inferiority. When you become more open and confident, you will naturally attract outstanding friends. I wish you to get rid of the difficulties in interpersonal communication as soon as possible and meet lifelong sincere friends.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "There is a description in \"Liezi: Power Destiny\": Guan Zhong sighed and said, \"When I was young and impoverished, I used to do business with Bao Gongjia, splitting our wealth and mostly keeping it for myself. Bao Shu did not consider me greedy, but knew that I was poor. Once, I advised Bao Shu on a matter and it led to great difficulty, but Bao Shu did not consider me foolish; he knew that there are times of advantage and disadvantage. I served three masters and was expelled by all three, but Bao Shu did not consider me incompetent; he knew that I did not meet the right time. I fought in three battles and retreated three times, but Bao Shu did not consider me cowardly; he knew that I had an elderly mother. Gongzi Jiu was defeated and summoned me to kill him. I was imprisoned and humiliated, but Bao Shu did not consider me worthless; he knew that I did not shy away from small sacrifices and my name did not shine throughout the world. My parents gave me life, and Bao Shu understood me!\" When Guan Zhong was young, due to poverty, he used to do business with Bao Shu Ya, and when they shared their wealth, he would keep most of it for himself. Bao Shu did not consider him greedy, but understood that he was poor. Once, when Guan Zhong advised Bao Shu on a business matter and it led to failure, Bao Shu did not consider him foolish, but understood that success or failure depends on timing... The people who gave me life are my parents, and the person who understands me is Bao Shu. In a relationship with someone, it is not necessary to have too many words. Both sides just need to understand each other. If it is too tiring to open up and share, then naturally it will be too tiring to get along. Each person's life is limited, why waste our already limited life on maintaining superficial relationships?",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Do you think that interpersonal relationships are complex? It could be due to your social circle, but it could also be due to your own reasons. Have you ever thought about this? For example, you should have a principle when it comes to interpersonal relationships. If something doesn't align with your principles, you should stick to not engaging with it. However, if it falls within your principles, there can be some flexibility. Focus on improving yourself first, and then you will have more freedom.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16562
 },
 {
  "question": "Long-Distance Relationship Blocked! These past two days have been really tough, but I don't want to let her control my emotions?",
  "description": "We are in a relationship, she is called NN, four years older than me. We met on a dating app, I have seen her photos, but she has never seen mine. I want to surprise her when we meet in person. Our relationship is very good, she says she doesn't want me to spend money on gifts, so our chats have always been free, except for when I voluntarily send her gifts. I wait for her messages every day until dawn, and she replies to me immediately when she sees them. I am becoming more and more clingy to her. But because it is an online relationship and she sometimes takes a long time to reply, I often become suspicious and start thinking that she may not like me or thinks I am childish. Just three days ago, she said her name is not NN, and asked me to send her a gift to find out her real name. After I sent it, she told me her real name, but I was a little angry at the time and said \"Bye bye NN.\" After hearing that, she didn't talk to me for a whole day, and later said that since I often said goodbye to her, she didn't dare to disturb me anymore and then she blocked me the next day. I have been feeling very upset these past two days, and now I have no other way to contact her. After thinking about it all day today, since it is an online relationship after all, I have decided that I don't want her to control my emotions every day. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, methods of healing.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear OP, when it comes to online relationships, I also think of my two experiences with online dating. The first time was when I was in eighth grade, I met a guy online who was one year older than me. Although I hadn't seen his photo or heard his voice, I couldn't resist chatting with him and was always reminiscing about our conversations after school. But eventually, I deleted him, probably because he said some offensive things or maybe I just got tired of it over time. The second time was when I was in my first year of high school, and I met someone in a group chat. I didn't necessarily have any feelings for him, we just got along well and I naively wanted to be in a relationship, so we got together. However, not long after, probably because he said something that made me angry, I deleted him. Now, thinking back on these experiences, I feel like I was quite innocent at that time. I was genuinely sad when we broke up, but it didn't take long for me to feel better because there were so many other things to focus on in the real world. First of all, let's analyze your current emotions: anger. From your description, it is clear that you were very attached to her and always met her demands. However, her request for a gift before revealing her true name made you feel like your relationship was not genuine, and you saw her as a shallow person, so you felt very angry. Then, her decision to block you made you feel like your efforts were not rewarded, so you feel angry. Reluctant. After she blocked you, you felt very upset, and you also regretted saying goodbye to her multiple times. After all, you spent some time together and you were very attached to this relationship, so it is normal for you to feel this way. Eager to detach yourself from this relationship and return to a normal life. Although you are very attached to this relationship, you know that it is not worth salvaging. You hope to be able to move on from this difficult time as quickly as possible. As someone who has had two painful experiences with online dating, combined with my own experiences, I would like to share some advice. Have you heard of the \"sunk cost\" concept? Sunk costs refer to costs that have already occurred but are unrelated to current decisions, such as time, effort, money, etc. Why do some people find it difficult to cut their losses in life? It is because they have invested too much in the sunk costs and are reluctant to let go, ultimately leading to even greater losses. First of all, you must have the right mindset. The time, effort, and money you spent on that person are already gone. The only thing you can do is quickly detach yourself from this relationship and not let it affect your current decisions. Do not feel any regret. I became addicted to online dating in the past because I had very few friends in real life and my social needs were not being met. I don't know if this is the case for you too. In real life, expanding your social circle, meeting up with friends, even just having a cup of tea or watching a movie, can greatly enhance your social satisfaction. It's a bit funny, but the first person I had an online relationship with was a straight-A student. After I cut off contact with him, I was determined to surpass him and not be worse than him, so I started studying very seriously. As a result, I consistently ranked first in my class. I also read a lot of books outside of school. When you focus on your personal growth and improvement, these things will quickly fade away. You can cultivate and develop your interests and hobbies, such as exercising or reading. I hope my answer is helpful to you!",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ I understand your feelings very well. Hugs to you~ It is clear that you have invested a lot of energy and time in this online relationship, so it is difficult for you to let go. It is painful and hard to accept the result of being blocked by her - this is a normal emotional reaction. In economics, there is a specialized term called \"sunk cost,\" which refers to costs that have been incurred in the past but are unrelated to current decisions. From a decision-making perspective, past costs are only one factor contributing to the current state, and current decisions should consider the potential future costs and benefits, not the past costs. When deciding whether to do something, people not only consider whether it is beneficial to them, but also whether they have already invested in it in the past. We call these irretrievable expenses, such as time, money, and effort, \"sunk costs\". In your online relationship, all the time, energy, and emotions you have invested have become sunk costs that you cannot give up - to some extent, these are the sunk costs. Most economists believe that if people are rational, they should not consider sunk costs when making decisions. This is because if you keep dwelling on these past investments, you won't be able to move on with your life normally, and it isn't worth it. Perhaps you think the other person is a good person and you really like them. From a psychological perspective, this type of liking is related to the projection effect. \"Projection effect\" refers to the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to others. When cognitively and forming impressions of others, people expect others to have similar characteristics as themselves, projecting their own emotions, will, and traits onto others and imposing them, which is a cognitive fallacy of self-reference. In other words, you need to understand that the real person may not be the type you like. What you saw online is actually a filtered version of her in your eyes. Through online chat, our understanding and comprehension of a person are very limited. Perhaps in a sense, her blocking you allows both of you to quickly immerse into real life. Maybe you can meet someone in real life who likes you as much as you like them, without having to rely on the internet to meet someone. Since you have cut off all contact with her, why not take this as an opportunity to start your life anew and bury the experience of knowing her deep in your heart? Shift your focus timely and concentrate on your study and work tasks. You are so wonderful and will definitely meet someone who is truly right for you. Best wishes.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I can sense your anxiety from your description. It seems that you are very concerned about NN, and she has even become an emotional reliance for you. She has also noticed that you have been becoming more dependent on her, which is why she chose to end the relationship. Let me tell you a story about my friend that might sadden you. My friend is a livestreamer, the kind that is packaged by a company. Every word they say, every action they take is trained by the company. This includes how to charm men. She told me before that when livestreaming, she intentionally says not to send gifts, but it's actually a way to indirectly ask for gifts. This trick works particularly well on men. If she wants these men to keep sending her gifts long-term, she has to invest some time and effort into building a connection with them. She has to chat with many different men every day to keep receiving gifts. If she can't continue a conversation with a man, she finds a way to get the last gift and then blocks them, continuing to look for new targets. Basically, she just keeps repeating these actions, and it's all about finding willing participants. Seeing your situation, it feels like you've been played as well. I advise you to give up and face the reality of your life seriously. Good luck.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hi there! Nice to meet you. I hope my response can help you. Based on your description and feedback from other commenters, I think this person NN is not bad and doesn't seem like a scammer. If she blocked you, it might be because she found someone more suitable in real life. After all, you have only been chatting online and it doesn't affect her real life. Or maybe she gradually realized that you two aren't compatible, such as you frequently saying goodbye to her, which made her feel insecure. Another reason could be that you are younger and less emotionally mature compared to her. When she exchanged real names with you before ending the relationship, it could be seen as her seeking some compensation before cutting ties, compensating for her time and emotions (as you made her feel insecure). It's understandable that people often feel emotionally wounded after the end of a relationship. However, what's more important is to reflect on this relationship and learn from the experience, then apply it to the next one. For example, if the woman says she doesn't want you to spend money, it shows that she is considerate. In such cases, you should still give her some gifts to show that you are willing to spend money for her. If she doesn't reply for a long time, there is no need to overthink it. It shows that you care about her, but it also reveals your lack of maturity. Everyone has their own lives, and maybe she was busy and didn't have time to reply or she consciously chose not to reply. That's her choice, and we don't need to dwell on the reasons. It's useless and it affects our own lives. We need to separate emotions, life, and work. For example, she said she doesn't like it when you always say goodbye. From a female perspective, it's likely that this makes her feel insecure, as if you might leave at any moment. So you should reflect on your way of speaking and not just focus on venting your own emotions, but also consider the other person's feelings. What should you do now if you don't want to be controlled by her emotions? As I just mentioned, look back at this relationship, reflect and learn from it. See what lessons and experiences you can take from it, and then become a better person, ready to embrace the next relationship that comes your way. I'm not sure if you are a student or a working professional. If you are a student, focus on your studies. If you are a working professional, work hard. In any case, strive to become a better, more mature, considerate, and gentle person. Many commenters have mentioned the concept of \"sunk cost.\" If you can't let go, it's probably because of that. If you want to make up for those costs as much as possible, you should let every experience enrich your inner self, allowing yourself to grow and mature through each experience. That's what we should focus on in our lives\u2014continuously experiencing and growing, doing things that are worthwhile. I wish you become a better version of yourself, ready to embrace a brighter future with maturity, consideration, and grace. The world and I love you.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there, OP. Hugs to you. I completely understand your current feelings. It's tough for you to handle being blocked in an online relationship, and this issue has been troubling you these past few days. I can sense that you want to move on from this emotional attachment quickly. I hope my answer can help you.\n\n[Problem Analysis] OP, you are in an age-gap relationship with NN, whom you met on a dating app. You have only seen pictures of each other and don't know much about each other's real information. The risk of online relationships lies in not knowing if the information is true and not having a clear understanding of the other person's situation. After chatting for some time, you developed a sense of dependency on the other person. If they didn't reply for a long time, you would create many negative thoughts in your mind. It's clear that you care a lot about NN and completely invested yourself in this relationship to the point of feeling possessive. NN asked you to give her a gift before sharing her real name, and this incident marked the end of your relationship, with NN blocking you. NN telling you her real name made you feel deceived and angry.\n\n[Some Suggestions] Engage in activities you enjoy to shift your focus. You are still immersed in this online relationship and are unable to let go properly due to being too emotionally attached. I suggest you do things you enjoy to divert your attention. Go to the gym, engage in physical activities, let your emotions dissipate with sweat. Go on a trip, explore different local cuisines, let the beauty of nature and unique things heal your soul. Reflect on this online relationship and make a decision. Ask yourself what you expected to gain from this online relationship and what you actually gained. Is this the kind of online relationship you desire? What role did you play in this relationship? How much did you expect and understand about the other person? Have you considered the risks and benefits involved? Summarize this relationship, clarify your true thoughts, and objectively analyze the situation. Make a definitive decision. Understand whether you can accept the risks of online relationships and if you should continue pursuing a new one or make an effort to connect with and get to know people in the real world. Change your mindset and focus on your current life. Remind yourself that online relationships are unpredictable, and you can understand the other person's concealment and deception, considering that the online world is different from reality. Change your mindset, realize the unreliability of online relationships, and avoid similar situations in the future. Concentrate more on your current work and life. There are still many wonderful things around you that you should experience slowly. Don't get stuck in momentary sorrow. Pay attention to your current life and make yourself happier. I wish you the best in overcoming this struggle and returning to your real life.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP! I hope my humble help can assist you. First, let's analyze your situation: Problem: You met a girl who is 4 years younger than you on a dating app, but she blocked you due to some minor conflicts. Analysis: Online relationships indeed have great risks. Firstly, it's unclear how long you've been in this online relationship. From your description, it seems that the girl is not as invested in this online relationship as you are. It appears that you are the one giving her gifts, but it's unknown if she has ever given you any gifts. Perhaps, in the girl's perspective, she hasn't truly entered into a formal romantic relationship with you, thus she easily blocked you. When she says she doesn't want you to spend too much money on her, it might be because she's unsure about her relationship with you and still in the testing stage, not wanting to bear a heavy burden. Actually, your increasing clinginess towards her might be because her quick replies give you a sense of presence and security. Since you haven't had the chance to meet in person, online communication is your only channel to foster emotional connection. To some extent, online relationships are similar to long-distance relationships. Your suspicions and overthinking are normal because you lack a deep connection in the real world. Everything, including emotions, is highly uncertain, so your reactions are understandable. It's normal to feel angry when you find out that Nana is not her real name because you have been communicating emotionally with her under the name Nana, and she has never told you her real name, giving you a sense of deception. This also indicates that the girl is guarded. You often say goodbye to her to catch her attention, seeking a sense of presence and security. However, when you say goodbye too often, it might give her the impression that you're really going to disappear, so she takes the initiative to block you to prevent herself from investing too much emotion and getting hurt later on. Luckily, at least you didn't encounter a scammer. Now you have come to terms with the situation and realize that there may be no chance to contact her again, and you want to break free from the emotional bondage. Good job! Cutting your losses in time will prevent further harm. Methods: 1. Correctly face your current anxious and agitated mindset. After all, it's a kind of online relationship where you invested emotions. So, when it ends suddenly, your emotions have nowhere to go, and you might keep thinking about it and about her. You need to tell yourself that this is normal. Don't deliberately avoid or reject it. At least it proves that although you were emotionally deceived, you haven't lost the ability to love. 2. Distract yourself. When you are in a state of being troubled by this relationship, I hope you can do something else to temporarily immerse your brain in other thoughts. You can listen to music, read books, chat with friends, write a journal, watch movies, take a walk, etc. Don't always let yourself be trapped in sadness or negative emotions. 3. If possible, suggest that after adjusting your mindset, you can continue to interact with other opposite-sex friends. Love will continue, and you can try to have more interactions with opposite-sex friends around you or expand your social circle and make more friends to prepare for your next relationship. Online relationships have many unreliable aspects, so when using social apps, please pay more attention. I wish you a quick recovery from the emotional damage of this relationship.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, first, let me give you a warm hug, because it can be really devastating when someone you've become attached to abandons you. Let's analyze your emotional situation: You met online, the person is four years older than you, and you've only seen their photos. Your relationship is good, and they don't want you to spend money unnecessarily, but they also accept gifts when you offer. They are clingy, often staying up late to chat with you, and if they don't reply to your messages, you start to overthink things. Recently, they only revealed their real name after you gave them a gift, which made you angry. You had an argument, and now they've blocked you, and you have no other means of contact. From the information provided, it appears that you haven't known this girl for very long, and you don't really know her true situation. In this situation, most of your attachment is likely due to having someone to chat with, confide in, and receive gentle reassurances from. It's a naive kind of liking, only your own liking, really. Have you ever asked about her feelings? In this day and age, online relationships are very common, so don't feel ashamed about it. It's perfectly normal. However, even in online relationships, we need to carefully observe the other person and understand their situation before deciding to invest our whole lives in them. The same goes for real-life relationships because that's someone who will accompany you for a lifetime. If you decide to give up, don't dwell on the past. If your feelings are misplaced, my advice is to break it off decisively because prolonged entanglement will only hurt the person who invests the most emotionally. Although you've already invested a lot, being able to cut your losses in a timely manner is a good outcome and a lesson for yourself. If you continue to be entangled, you will lose much more than you have now. Look forward, pay more attention to real life. The internet is a tool that you can use to achieve your goals, but you shouldn't be addicted to it and let it control you. Take advantage of this heartbreak to focus on real life. Call up some friends, play basketball, sweat it out, and release your emotions. Find something you enjoy, set goals, and strive forward. Let me tell you a little secret: earnest guys are especially popular with girls! Your life journey is still long, and you don't need to linger over someone who was just passing through. I'm sure you'll meet a better girl in the future, someone with whom you have mutual feelings, and it will make you much happier than if you were the only one putting in the effort. I hope you can keep going and wish you good luck.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. I hope my answer can provide you with some help. From your words, it seems that you are currently deeply immersed in longing and contradiction. You are unable to grasp certain elusive things and therefore feel deeply helpless. At times, you may even feel controlled by your inner emotional turmoil, is that correct? First, let me give you a hug. Now, let's analyze the problem together and find a solution. You are in an online relationship; the other person does not know what you look like, but you have seen her photos and know her \"fake name\" and current real name. You have stayed up late chatting and have had frequent and enjoyable conversations. She doesn't want you to spend money, but you have bought her gifts. You both have cared for and supported each other, and your affection for each other has been slowly growing. Just as you mentioned, she often replies to your messages instantly, and you feel uneasy when she takes longer to reply. It all sounds like a romance between lovers. However, my dear questioner, is this really love? Or is it just an illusion of love? Undeniably, you have developed affection for each other, but you must understand that this affection is solely based on your interactions through chat and has arisen from the habit of human dependency. Developing affection for someone is a normal occurrence, but it may still lack many aspects necessary for a romantic relationship. In fact, whenever we have a good conversation with someone of the opposite sex, we may mistakenly think we are in love. So, it is crucial for you to understand the difference between affection and liking. You mentioned that she blocked you because she was afraid of making you angry. At the end, this action seems a bit childish for someone four years older than you, don't you think? When you truly like someone, you can't help but disturb them and send them messages, instead of being able to ignore you for half a day because of a single sentence. From your words, it's not very clear about her personality, but one thing is evident: her feelings for you may not be very deep, or she may have significant uncertainties about you as well. There is a saying: \"The person who can easily let you go is not worth remembering.\" What about the person who can easily block you? Surely, you have an answer for that. So, my dear reader, what now? For you, she is just a memory, but you are unwilling to live only in memories. How is it that someone you were chatting with just a few days ago suddenly disappeared? Is it difficult for you to adjust? Of course, that's normal. So, what should you do now? Take a closer look at your relationship and think about it. If you find someone else, you might be able to have amazing conversations and get along well too. Next, if you want to develop a romantic relationship, do you really know her well? Have you had an earnest conversation about your relationship, or are you both just in a state of ambiguity? What is the biggest downside of online relationships? It is that they can bring us many illusions. We subjectively exaggerate our own imagination, unintentionally magnify a sentence from the other person or our own feelings, and even distort their original meaning. We are used to speculating about the other person's thoughts and creating an image of them in our own minds, but the real person may not be like that at all. So now, take a moment to calm down and think: do you really like her a lot? Or is it just affection or habitual dependency? Then, don't force yourself to forget her. That's impossible. Give yourself some time and space and tell yourself: yes, our past was beautiful, and we shared a warm period of time together, but now she has chosen to leave, and she has her own choices, which I can respect. Don't deny the past; it will only make you more miserable. Accept the past and acknowledge the former beauty. We cannot predict change; all we can do is accept it. Then, find something that can distract your attention. Time can heal all wounds; there is nothing that cannot be overcome. If she really likes you, she will come back to find you. Trust me, if someone truly likes a person, they will not be willing to miss the chance with them. If not, that's okay too. Find someone who genuinely likes you, and your future will be even happier! Take it easy, don't rush to forget, and don't reject these emotions. Try to divert your attention, and time will reveal the answers to you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 12885
 },
 {
  "question": "During high school, my family's financial situation declined, and I felt a split within myself. I lived in constant turmoil. How can I change this?",
  "description": "I was a good student since childhood, and my family background was decent. However, during my high school years, my family faced financial difficulties, and I had to study in a different city, feeling very lonely. Gradually, I went from being confident and excellent to extremely lacking in confidence, and my grades declined significantly. I developed depression during those years in high school and lived in pain every day. Now that I'm in university, my situation has improved a lot due to a better environment and interpersonal relationships, and I'm no longer depressed. However, I still often feel divided. Sometimes I am as confident as when I had good grades in my childhood, believing that I am capable of anything. Other times, I am like I was in high school, lacking confidence and thinking that I can't do anything well. I still haven't had a boyfriend until now. Because I feel unworthy of someone who is not excellent, and I feel inferior when someone is excellent. I have now encountered a great opportunity to start a business and have found people who believe in me. However, due to my lack of confidence, I worry that I won't be able to do well. Lately, for several days, I have been unwilling to get up early to work and have been procrastinating. I don't want to continue living like this; I want to surpass myself and return to my original confident self.",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "In high school, my family faced financial difficulties, and I felt a sense of self-division, living in a state of inner conflict. How can I change this? Hello, first of all, I want to express my understanding and sympathy for your situation. I want to give you a big hug and make you feel the warmth of the world. It seems that your lack of confidence stems from the decline in your family's financial situation during high school and the loneliness you experienced while studying away from home. It seems that your family was the source of your confidence, making you feel that your family background was good and therefore gave you confidence. If your confidence was based on your good grades and academic excellence, then you wouldn't become less confident just because of a decline in your family's financial situation. One person's family decline does not represent anything. If someone is confident and excellent, they would not be defeated by such setbacks. So it seems that the root cause of your lack of confidence is the fact that your family's financial situation is not as good as before, which gradually led to your decreased confidence. This means that you are greatly influenced by your environment. Now that you are in college, your family's situation should not be as bad as before, and your interpersonal relationships have improved. Your grades have also improved, and you are no longer depressed. However, you still feel a sense of self-division. Have you not been diagnosed yet? If you feel that there may be some problems in your mind that you have not been able to overcome, rather than experiencing a mental split, then it is mostly because you feel that it has no practical use. Many times, we all like to have fantasies and get immersed in them, feeling that we are excellent, confident, and believe in ourselves. At other times, it becomes a negative mentality, feeling that we are not quite outstanding and lack confidence. You still haven't had a boyfriend until now, and the one post author can tell that you are someone who would rather be alone than settle for less. Less outstanding than you, and fragile as you may be, you feel quite inferior, thinking that you may not be worthy of others. There is no need to be anxious or worried, as this is a common state for many people when it comes to love. However, if everyone has this mentality, then often the sparks of love will not stay by your side. So many times, what we need is courage. You have encountered a good opportunity for entrepreneurship and have encountered people who believe in you, so you should cherish it and work hard to achieve it. You should not worry about not doing well just because of your lack of confidence, because human capabilities are limited. You just need to do your best and that's enough. Your procrastination is just because you are afraid of not doing a good job, but have you considered the possibility that you can do well in this job? Have you given yourself positive psychological suggestions? If you keep thinking in your mind that you can't do it, you will be your own biggest enemy. If you defeat yourself first, then others will see you even less and look down on you. That's why we all hesitate and don't dare to do something, think too much, and worry too much. We need the courage to take a risk, otherwise, we will miss many opportunities. So what you need now is to focus on doing one thing wholeheartedly. There is no reason why you can't do well. It's just that your level of commitment to this matter is not high enough, and instead, you are thinking about the consequences of this matter. That is your biggest obstacle",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP:\nHello! I saw your post where you mentioned that during high school, your family faced financial difficulties and you had to study in a different city all by yourself. You felt lonely and vulnerable, and as a result, your academic performance suffered greatly. You said that during those years, you developed depression. Have you seen a doctor for it? Was it diagnosed by a hospital, or was it based on your own feelings and speculation? Now that you're in college, what year are you in? You mentioned that your situation has improved due to better environment and interpersonal relationships, and you no longer feel depressed. However, you still feel that your self-confidence is not stable enough. Sometimes, you feel invincible, while other times, you fall into a state of low self-esteem. Therefore, I speculate that your experiences during adolescence have had a significant impact on you, possibly even involving some traumatic experiences. Adolescence is already a special period, and most people experience emotional instability during this time. Moreover, you had a major upheaval in your life and lacked strong support, causing you to suffer alone in pain. Currently, your romantic relationships have not developed, but you have come across a good opportunity for entrepreneurship. However, you worry that you won't do well and are reluctant to work early, delaying it. From these descriptions, I sense a feeling of powerlessness. It's possible that you haven't fully recovered from your high school experiences, and the wounds have not healed completely. Now you have to invest more energy in dealing with things, which can indeed be difficult. I don't mean to interfere with your entrepreneurship, but it's commendable for a college student to have ideals and pursuits, while also needing to be realistic. If we need to invest more mental energy in starting another venture outside of academics, then you need more strength and a support system than others to maintain a state of investment. The law of energy conservation applies to both economy and psychological energy, both of which need to be conserved. So, you can start by looking for your own resource system. For example, do you have someone around you who can comfort your emotions? Who can listen to you and encourage you when you feel vulnerable and sad? How is your family situation now? Can your family provide support? I think many people with low self-esteem are people who excessively consume their own energy and constantly demand and expect from themselves, focusing only on taking from themselves, without knowing that they need to replenish their own energy. It's really difficult for oneself! For example, in your situation where your family faced financial difficulties and you had to study in a different city all by yourself, then you got into college and improved your environment and interpersonal relationships. All this is the result of your effort and energy! You're really amazing! I think after experiencing such a painful high school life, it takes some time to recuperate and adjust when entering college. Studying, learning, making friends \u2013 exerting effort and enthusiasm, continuing your future life \u2013 is a great life plan, right? Life lasts decades, not too long nor too short. Look forward with a long-term perspective, broaden your horizons, reflect on the past, and anticipate the future. Regardless of the circumstances, you are in the most beautiful years of your life, aren't you? Enjoy the present, live in the present, love yourself wholeheartedly, and let love overflow. I sincerely wish you success in your studies! Like Ease Psychology.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "[Hug] OP, thank you for sharing your inner confusion. *Firstly, I can understand the mixed and conflicting feelings you described. I have personally experienced such feelings before, feeling confident when things are going well and feeling trapped when facing difficulties. This phenomenon is known as \"bipolar disorder\" in psychology. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have a mental or psychological illness. This is the definition given by Western scholars, and I cannot say for certain at the moment. *Secondly, I noticed that your level of confidence is greatly influenced by your family situation. The changes in your material life have caused alternation between low and high moods. It seems that your inner values and perspective on life are built on a material basis. My suggestion is that no matter what happens, there is always a meaning that events bring to us. Just like your current distress seems to indicate a need for a change in your mindset. As the ancient sages said, \"Be neither elated by material things nor saddened by oneself.\" Let's work together to achieve this state! Stay strong.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 2950
 },
 {
  "question": "How can one let go of the guard against the whole world when kindness is being taken advantage of?",
  "description": "The kindness of others is being perfectly manipulated and used to cause various harm to me.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deceit and trust, empathy, social adaptation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Perhaps what the poster actually needs to do is not completely let go of their guard. We can ensure that we are kind, but we cannot confirm that others are kind to us as well. Maintaining a certain level of self-defense awareness and not completely opening up one's heart before trusting someone is being responsible for oneself. However, it would be better for the poster to describe the specific situation so that a thorough analysis can be made. Sometimes, others may not have intended to harm us and it may not be directed at us. Our trust is something that others need to earn, it depends on what they have done to us, and we choose to open up and help them. Just like if someone is polite to us and often considers things from our perspective, we feel trust and goodwill towards that person, and then we will help them. If someone is very selfish, never knows how to reciprocate, and does not show gratitude, why should we help such a person? Furthermore, helping others should be based on ensuring our own safety and interests first, and then helping others if we have the capacity. Otherwise, aren't we inadvertently harming ourselves as well? Just like the safety demonstration video played on airplanes, adults are supposed to put on their oxygen masks first before helping children in the event of an accident, otherwise both adults and children may encounter unexpected disasters. It is suggested that the poster can first help others within their capabilities, so even if others do not reciprocate, they have not suffered any losses, and it can be regarded as spreading goodwill. Since the incident has already happened, forgiveness may be the only way to find relief. Accepting the imperfections of this world, perhaps everyone has their own difficulties, and it is because of self-preservation that they reluctantly hurt you. We are willing to give love and kindness not because we expect something in return, but because we choose to be a kind person, to bring more goodness to the world, and to give a little warmth to those in need. If, to some extent, we have helped others, even if they don't reciprocate, it is still a good thing.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 759
 },
 {
  "question": "How can college entrance examination students find what they love to do the most?",
  "description": "Now my parents always urge me to take the police academy exam, which I have never considered. I have a slight interest in Chinese language and literature as well as art-related majors. However, my parents believe that with my personality, I am more suitable to become a civil servant. They ask why I would choose to go to a comprehensive university to pursue a civil servant career instead of directly entering the police academy.",
  "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, student development, life's meaning.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You and your parents have some disagreements regarding your college choices. (2) You want to know how to find something you truly enjoy. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) Firstly, there's a saying that \"Choosing the right path is better than achieving high scores\". So, just like the college entrance exam, the choice of college major shouldn't be ignored. It's normal to feel lost and uncertain at the first crossroad in life, and I believe all students are anxiously waiting for their exam results and feeling uncertain. (2) Secondly, you mentioned that you and your parents have different opinions. It seems like your parents understand you well, so they directly recommend you to consider joining the police academy or becoming a civil servant. Parents wouldn't want to harm their children, so their suggestions are reasonable. However, it seems that you do not have a clear understanding of these options, so it's wise to not make blind choices. It appears that you have your own interests as well, so you can try listing the pros and cons of each major on paper, to see which one you lean towards more. (3) Lastly, when choosing college majors, it's important to consider career planning. Therefore, I suggest you take the Holland career test and MIT, as they can help you discover what you truly want. Regarding your parents' suggestions and your own interests, you can also choose to explore further. There is still time, and you can also learn more about majors that suit you based on the test results, without limiting yourself. #The world and I love you, wishing you all the best~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16297
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do people get scolded when they are sick and have a fever?",
  "description": "I recently caught a bad cold and even had a fever. When my family found out, instead of showing concern, they started criticizing me, saying things like it serves me right and asking why I got sick when nobody else did, suggesting that it was my own fault. Why is this happening?",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growth process.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "When you need comfort, care, and support from your family, all you get is blame, ridicule, and criticism. How great must the disparity in your heart be at this time? Why is it that other people's families come to heal, support, comfort, and encourage each other, while my family comes to attack? Why is it so different? The way family members interact with each other is developed through mutual influence. Why does my family have such a pattern, and both sides are involved? Maybe you are just the one who can endure, but why do you keep enduring? Maybe you once used a similar pattern to treat your family, so they learned this pattern. Maybe your family has had this pattern for a long time, but why has no one ever suggested changing it? ... Home is the harbor of the soul. Every person has the responsibility and obligation to strive for adjustment in order to transform their home into a harbor. Because family members who come from blood relationships cannot be changed on the relationship level, and family members who come from marital relationships, even though the relationship can be changed, changing one part affects the whole. Therefore, it is important to make efforts to manage the relationship well. No pattern or relationship requires no effort and can be ideal or perfect. Take care of yourself first, love yourself, then make efforts to adjust, love your family, and manage your home well, so that it becomes a harbor for each other.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
     {
      "start": 0,
      "end": 91,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 91,
      "end": 239,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 239,
      "end": 376,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 376,
      "end": 418,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     }
    ]
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "When you are in need of attention and care, but receive such cold words instead, it's inevitable for anyone to feel sad, wronged, and upset. There could be many reasons for this, from the individual to the family, and it's difficult to speculate just from these few words. What kind of response are you longing for? What happened at that time? However, one thing is certain, until the communication pattern within the family changes, they may not be the best source of comfort when your energy is low due to illness. Are you feeling better from your cold now? How severe is it? Do you have friends around to help take care of you? When you have low energy or are sick like this, how did you usually get through it? Who did you talk to, besides your family, who could listen or offer help? If you can't hold on anymore, don't bear it alone. Look for people around you, and don't be afraid to cause trouble. The relationship between people often starts from trouble and goes back and forth with trouble.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Seeing your experience, I really feel sorry for you! It's hard to believe that your parents would treat you like this, but I will still help you get through this difficult time. Take care of yourself first, go to the pharmacy and buy some cold medicine to treat your symptoms, and drink plenty of hot water, it will help with the cold. Sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents, ask them why they would do this? Try to understand each other and figure out where the problem lies. If your parents are unwilling to communicate with you or even have a bad attitude, be sure to seek help from others, such as teachers, friends, and close friends, and let them help you find a solution! You must not just endure it, otherwise you will always be the one at a disadvantage. I hope this can help you a little! I hope you recover soon.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10110
 },
 {
  "question": "I tried my best to be a good stepmother, but she is still dissatisfied with me.",
  "description": "My mother fell ill, so I resigned and went home to take care of her for a few months. I worked tirelessly to serve her with all my heart, but she was always dissatisfied with me. She even scolded me for three hours in the hospital room. Thinking back to when I was little, she was always like this, frequently hitting and scolding me, saying that I was not as good as other children. I feel very uncomfortable and angry. I cannot rebel because she is a patient, and I have to be understanding and filial. But I am really hurting inside! I want to die, and sometimes I even think about killing her. I am torn between killing myself or killing my mother. Actually, I know I won't kill her; I can only kill myself.",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family members' health.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. It's really difficult and painful for you to quit your job and go home to take care of your mother for several months. You have to endure her blame and abuse, which she has been using to treat you since you were young. Now that she is sick, her emotions will naturally become worse, and she unconsciously takes you as the target to vent her emotions. In such a situation, you still have to take care of her and silently endure the pain without wanting to hurt her, even if it means hurting yourself. You are a kind and filial person. Firstly, you need to realize that the way your mother treats you is her problem, it's her parenting style that is problematic, not yours, and it's not your fault. So you don't need to punish yourself with death because of her mistakes, just to escape from suffering. It's difficult for your mother's personality and behavior to change now. This is her life pattern, but you have your own life, your own path to take, and your own scenery to see. Don't give up because of your mother's setbacks. In our interactions with our families, we have close relationships and many ties, but don't forget that we are all independent individuals with our own life tasks. We need to learn to separate these tasks. When we grow up, we need to differentiate ourselves from our original families and live our own lives. It's our duty to respect and care for our parents, but everyone has their limits. As long as we do our best, that's enough. When you feel wronged or angry, you can talk to other relatives or friends to seek comfort and support, or go out and distract yourself from the environment your mother is in, change your mood, and recharge yourself. Most importantly, you need to take responsibility for your own life, take care of yourself, and not easily give up on yourself or use self-punishment or death as a way to find relief. Your life journey is still long. The world and I love you. Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16343
 },
 {
  "question": "After arguing with my mother, I started self-harming. I want to know what's wrong with me?",
  "description": "Yesterday I had a fight with my mother, it was something that crossed the line, and I don't know if it's helpful for you to know, so I won't talk about it right now. I was very angry and felt very wronged. I used my hands to pinch myself hard, and then for some reason I wanted to get a knife, but the knife in my room was rusted, so I grabbed a pen and stabbed my hand hard. It started to bleed, but at that time I didn't feel any pain. Instead, I had a sense of pride and a desire to continue. I don't know why. Also, I don't know since when but I have this habit of slapping myself whenever I cry, slapping so hard that it hurts. Then I tell myself that if I cry again, it will hurt like this. What's wrong with me? Is this something that everyone experiences?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, violence, self-harm, stress response.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, if you can explain the situation in detail, it would be helpful for us to provide an answer. You feel like it's a matter of reaching a breaking point and you probably don't want to compromise in this regard. However, the problem still needs to be resolved, right? Perhaps the same goes for your mother, if both sides are unwilling to compromise, then it becomes a deadlock. We can't resort to using pens or knives to harm ourselves every time after an argument, can we? Not only does it not solve the problem, but it also causes harm to ourselves. You stab yourself hard with a pen, causing bleeding, but what you feel is not pain, but pride and the desire to continue. I think maybe in your subconscious, you are using this self-harming method to punish yourself, and at the same time, to punish your mother, using physical pain to alleviate the psychological pain. However, this is only temporary, only effective for that fleeting moment, right? After the physical pain subsides, the psychological pain will still not be relieved. So, can you try a better way to alleviate the pain and improve the relationship between you and your mother? For example, you can have a good talk with your mother and communicate about the bottom line issue you mentioned. Maybe your mother is not unreasonable and is capable of communication, maybe she will make some concessions, make some changes. You slap yourself when you cry, you don't allow yourself to show vulnerability, right? But no matter how strong we are, there will always be moments of vulnerability, there will always be moments of helplessness, some things, apart from acceptance and sadness, there is no better way. Crying is not a shameful thing, it is a great way to release emotions. When you slap yourself and tell yourself that crying will hurt, it doesn't help at all. Not allowing yourself to be sad is just suppressing your emotions, and suppressed emotions can still affect you. And when suppressed to a certain extent, you may face greater pain and be easily triggered, bursting out. Cry if you want to, Andy Lau tells us, \"Crying is not a sin.\" Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15296
 },
 {
  "question": "Why can some people live carefree without caring about other people's opinions?",
  "description": "I am particularly envious of those who do not care about others' opinions, express themselves, and live freely. I feel that they are truly being themselves, while I feel like I am dead. I feel like I am being invisibly restrained, even though I have escaped from my parents. I am still afraid of being criticized by the world if I make a mistake. I am cautious in everything I do and live unhappily. How can I live as my admired so-called true self, not caring about others' opinions? It's possible that I am influenced by my family. My parents have a bit of reputation locally and they are particularly concerned about what others say. They also like to criticize and judge everyone around them whom they don't like.",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand your distress. Hugs to you~ The reason for being concerned about others' opinions is essentially a lack of acceptance of your true inner self. Specifically, it means not accepting the part of yourself that is not liked by others or the part that is seen as flawed in their eyes. \"How can I live as my true self, admired and unaffected by others' opinions?\" Awareness is the first step to change, and you have already taken this crucial step, which is fantastic. But I want to tell you that this process requires patience because it is a behavior pattern that has developed over a long time in your original family. In some self-acceptance courses, it is taught that the first step is to become aware of the \"functional self\", which is the self that is expressed in your daily life. Every behavior of this self is aimed at protecting your \"inner self\". For example, you mentioned concern about others' opinions. Why do you care? Can you not care? It might be because when you were young, you made a mistake or received criticism or neglect from your parents when you didn't care about their opinions... these negative responses made you learn to pay attention to their reactions, to care about others' opinions, in order to avoid harming the inner child through negative feedback. Such behavior of the functional self is rooted in self-defense mechanisms. On the other hand, those who are unaffected by others' opinions may have experienced more acceptance and care in the same situations, and their inner child is empowered. The next step is to accept the inner child, which requires someone with equal authority to your parents to allow you to experience the same situations but in a warmer and more appropriate way. Only by going through those experiences again can you achieve healing. You can think of it as having a certain fear within your inner self that now needs to be re-experienced and eliminated through this process. This part requires the involvement of a psychologist or counselor for better results. Take it as a reference~ Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. I especially envy people who live freely and confidently.\n2. I feel like that's what it means to be true to oneself.\n3. I feel like my natural self is being confined, unable to escape from my parents' control.\n4. I'm afraid of making mistakes and being criticized by others.\n5. Being cautious and meticulous in everything I do doesn't make me happy. \nQuestion: How can I live as my true self, the one I admire? How can I stop caring about what others think? Hello friend. Why not start with understanding the basic definition of self-confidence? Self-confidence refers to individuals' assessment of their ability to successfully deal with specific situations. Self-confidence originally describes individuals' natural state of mind in social adaptation, which is the anxious process of trying to grasp the unfamiliar world with their limited experience. Confidence is a positive emotion that comes after success. Professional success, successful interpersonal relationships, and learning knowledge and skills can all provide people with a positive emotional experience, making them feel a sense of value and control. When you feel that you and your surroundings are developing positively, a sense of ease naturally occurs. On the contrary, if you are constantly on guard, cautious, and afraid of making mistakes, your focus is easily placed on negative information. We all have the experience of using familiar experience and anxious awareness to judge the current environment. This is the anxiety inherent in human beings. Regardless of the environment we are in or the achievements we have made, the feeling of anxiety always follows us. It is precisely because of the existence of this anxiety that humans can avoid danger and constantly create new lives. Therefore, anxiety itself has both advantages and disadvantages. For you, the experience of living with your parents has developed a cautious mindset, but there is no need to feel regretful about it. What we can do is inject new experiences of success into our lives. For example, work hard, try to break through yourself in daily matters, such as getting up early to go to work, choosing to sit in the front row at meetings, and participating in a long-awaited new skill training. Expand your social circle and gain new friendships, etc. As mentioned earlier, it is the anxious process of trying to grasp the unfamiliar world with your limited experience. Speak the truth to those around you and to yourself. You can also make a small note: write down what you like, what you don't like, what areas you are good at discussing, and what areas you are unfamiliar with and do not want to explore. After listing them, you can refer to them. Continuously explore and deepen your understanding in the things you like, and temporarily stay away from the things you don't like. When discussing topics in the areas you are good at, try to bring them up with others. If your objective, real, and accurate viewpoint has a certain persuasive power, you will also feel your existence and authenticity from your own expression. These are some insights and suggestions. I hope they can be helpful to you.",
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    "answer_text": "I really want to answer your question because this is something I have been contemplating too. I have always envied those who live freely and don't care about what others think. I want to share my thoughts with you. 1. Criticism: you have actually analyzed some of the reasons already. Your parents are both people who care about others' opinions while also frequently criticizing. We grew up surrounded by our parents' critical gazes, so we have learned to look at ourselves with a critical gaze. We didn't receive enough praise and affirmation when we were young, so we believe that we are not good enough, and other people's opinions only resonate with our own judgments of ourselves, which triggers our sense of identification. 2. Pretense: deep down, we believe that we are not good enough and have to present a good image to others. When someone criticizes us or looks at us differently, we panic and think that we have been exposed. So we hide cautiously and try not to make mistakes, all to maintain a good but false image. We are not carefree because we live in falsehood and fear. 3. Authenticity: what about those who live freely and don't care about others' opinions? I think they are authentic. They have enough inner security and know that they are overall good and safe. Even if they have flaws, there is no danger. Perhaps they received enough affirmation and support when they were young, and even if they didn't do well, they would not face fierce criticism or punishment. Therefore, they dare to connect with the world with their true selves, and they believe in themselves truthfully, directly, and firmly. Think about how terrifying and destructive criticism and punishment from adults are for children. So let's not blame our younger selves for not being brave enough. At that time, we didn't have the strength. But now we have grown up, we are no longer that child, we have the power, and we can face situations that we couldn't face before. So how can we live as someone with a true self? Be more authentic. Accept yourself - enhance your sense of security. 5. Acceptance: accepting your current situation, not trying to disguise yourself, is the basis of living authentically. I have strengths and weaknesses, there are people who like me and people who dislike me, this is all me, and I can see myself for who I am. For example, right now I may not be able to live carefree, but I accept myself and don't anxiously try to change. Even this version of myself is not worthless (in fact, it's already great because I have broken the cycle from my parents and see the person I want to be). 6. Enhancing sense of security: first, give yourself enough affirmation. Some say that a person needs to receive 3,000 compliments in their lifetime to establish enough sense of security and confidence. We affirm ourselves more and accumulate our sense of security. At the same time, we can intentionally open ourselves up little by little and gradually expand our safe zone. See which things we used to be afraid to do but can now try. For example, sharing a slightly immature idea with a close friend or trying a different style of dressing in front of friends. By gradually expanding our safe zone, we can gradually reveal ourselves and gradually live as our true selves.",
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    "answer_text": "Hello, this topic is indeed worth discussing, it's great! I really envy those who don't care about other people's opinions and live their lives freely. To be honest, I also envy those who live carefree lives. They always give off an air of confidence and make people feel comfortable and trusting for some reason. Such people truly live their true selves. From the description, it can be seen that you really envy and long to become such a person. So, how can you live your true self? To enhance self-confidence, a confident person would often choose to be themselves and express themselves. What you need to do is to affirm yourself and not be afraid of how others will judge your actions. You don't have to be overly cautious, you have to believe in yourself and have the courage to do what you want to do in order to stay true to yourself. You are you, an independent individual. Family, especially the way parents conduct themselves, has a great influence on personal growth. It can be seen that you are aware of your parents' personalities and conduct, but you don't want to become like them. So, knowing that you don't want to be like them, you have to change yourself in order to make a breakthrough. Starting with yourself, you might indirectly influence your parents as well, which is great! When your heart is set on something, it's better to become that person yourself rather than envy others. Even if the road ahead is rugged, as long as it is what you want, it's worth persisting. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Those who don't care about other people's opinions are quite rare in life. Most people live according to the eyes of those around them. Those who appear to live freely and carefree, I believe they also have their own worries in their hearts. Everyone has their own difficulties, and what may seem easy on the surface is often just for show. You are someone who seeks inner freedom, but the living environment has made you feel numb. You can't do the things you like, and you can't speak your true thoughts freely. Even at home, there are two \"judges\" constantly watching your words and actions, to see if they fit a certain identity and status. The pressure of always having to be faultless can be truly exhausting and goes against the human longing for freedom. If we weigh gains and losses too heavily, life becomes filled with comparison, judgment, and indifference. I also envy those who don't care about other people's opinions because it means we no longer care about what we gain or lose. We no longer have the burden of constantly worrying. \"Not rejoicing in material things, not feeling sad for oneself\"\u2014not being influenced by the quality of the environment and not feeling sad or happy based on our own performance. Just focus on the present moment. Other people's opinions stay on the outside, while our own inner self is on the inside. \"An egg, when broken from the outside, is food; when broken from the inside, is life.\" Despite the pressure from the external world, in the end, it is up to ourselves to break through obstacles from within and achieve personal growth. Fully accepting oneself, nurturing self-confidence, and affirming oneself\u2014all of these are part of self-development. When our inner self becomes strong, the environment becomes insignificant.",
    "has_label": false,
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! You mentioned that you don't dare to be yourself because of family reasons, and you feel extremely uncomfortable living in fear of embarrassing your parents due to their status. So, do you think that being your true self would be inharmonious with your family? Have you ever been blamed for being yourself or have you imitated your parents? You care a lot about what others think and want to be seen as someone who doesn't make mistakes and seeks approval from others. You don't want to live according to others' perspectives, but rather, live as your true self. Therefore, I recommend you to read the book \"The Courage to be Disliked\". Here are the key points from the book: Firstly, use courage to dominate your life. What truly determines our feelings is not the objective events that happen to us, but rather our subjective perception of those events. Therefore, by changing our perception of things, our lives can undergo a transformative change. Starting from this perspective, Adler developed an alternative theory to explain human behavior, called teleology. According to teleology, our actions are not driven by past experiences, but rather by the goals we currently want to achieve, which leads us to actively choose our present lives. We often think about the methods we can use to solve problems in our lives. However, Adler's teleology tells us that before seeking methods, we should ask ourselves if we truly want to change. The key step is having the courage to take responsibility for our lives and acknowledging that the root of all our problems lies within ourselves. Only by bravely doing so can we change our perception of things and ultimately change our lives. Secondly, use courage to free yourself from interpersonal troubles. The fundamental source of troubles in life lies in our relationships with others, and the key to overcoming these troubles lies in having the courage to change our perception of interpersonal relationships. In daily life, many interpersonal troubles arise from feelings of inferiority and the need for validation. According to Adler, feeling inferior due to a lack of ability is a normal occurrence. The key is to recognize that the fundamental source of all the troubles in life is not our lack of ability, but rather our lack of courage to take responsibility for our lives. By having the courage to acknowledge that all problems originate within ourselves, feelings of inferiority can become a driving force for progress and ultimately lead to success. At the same time, Adler advocates for completely giving up the need for validation. If we constantly seek validation from others, we will ultimately only live in the lives of others, unable to experience the true joy of life. To give up the need for validation, we must have the courage to be disliked, to separate our own life tasks from others' life tasks, and focus on our own tasks without interfering with others'. Thirdly, the source of courage. Courage comes from a sense of self-worth. To experience self-worth, we need to establish a \"community feeling\" and see others as our partners. Through contributing to our partners' well-being, we can experience our own self-worth. To achieve this, we need to do three things: 1) self-acceptance: differentiate between what we can change and what we cannot, accepting what cannot be changed and changing what can be changed; 2) trust in others: building truly deep and meaningful relationships with others requires unconditional trust; 3) contribution to others: many people struggle because they cannot like themselves. By making contributions to others, we can feel our own self-worth, accept ourselves, and learn to like ourselves. Adler emphasizes that self-acceptance, trust in others, and contribution to others are not independent of each other; they are closely linked. Only by simultaneously practicing all three can we establish a strong \"community feeling,\" experience self-worth, and have the courage to change our lives. I also used to live according to others' perspectives, always being submissive and making myself unhappy. Hence, I intentionally found this book to read. The core of this book is to have your own thoughts and let them take the lead. I always think, if I am being myself and have principles and boundaries that do not conflict with my family, why shouldn't I be myself? I hope this can help you. Thank you!",
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   {
    "answer_text": "After carefully reading your vent, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis:\n\n1. \"How can I live as my so-called true self, not caring about what others think?\" Who cares the most about what others think? It's those who pretend to be someone they're not. So, being fake will only lead to a bad outcome. People who are fake never end up well. So, do you want to be fake? If not, then why do you care about what others think?\n\n2. For every thousand readers, there are a thousand Hamlets. No matter how impressive a person is, it's impossible to please everyone. Even the President of the most powerful country in the world, like Trump, has countless people badmouthing him. Calling him a clown, saying he's unreliable. So, are you better than Trump? If someone as impressive as him cared as much about what others think as you do, he probably wouldn't have made it this far.\n\n3. Do what you want to do, and don't do what you don't want to do. The most painful thing in this world is wanting to do something but not doing it, and not wanting to do something but doing it anyway. That's the reason why you're unhappy. So, just be yourself. No one is going to live your life for you. Whether it's bitter or sweet, only you know it in your heart. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Caring about others' opinions is because you want to gain their acceptance, not criticism. This may be related to your parents not fulfilling your need for belonging and being recognized from a young age. If you didn't receive a sense of belonging and importance from your parents during childhood, you will constantly seek someone who can give you that feeling throughout your life. So, you are seeking approval, not criticism, and this internal need makes you particularly concerned about others' opinions. Psychologist Adler said that our past experiences do not determine our current life; what really determines our life is how we view the past. We need to understand that we are the creators of our own destiny. Why do I say that? Because our external destiny is actually driven by our internal consciousness. Whether we lead a successful, happy, and fulfilling life or a failed, miserable, and depressed one can be completely created by our own inner consciousness. So, if you want to live as yourself, you need to first know yourself in order to truly be yourself. Generally speaking, there are two ways to understand oneself: the \"external evaluation system\" and the \"internal evaluation system.\" People who are accustomed to using the external evaluation system not only ignore their own feelings but also consider external evaluations as their own evaluations. Before they do something, they first consider how others will perceive them and whether they can gain others' approval and appreciation. Their motivation comes from the outside world. On the other hand, people who are accustomed to using the internal evaluation system respect their own feelings and do not care about others' evaluations. They listen to the voice within themselves and enjoy the pleasure of doing things. This kind of happiness brings great motivation. Those who live freely and don't care about others' opinions are people who are accustomed to using the internal evaluation system and respect their own feelings. The author envies them, and you can also respect your own inner feelings and be yourself.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16866
 },
 {
  "question": "Am I mentally ill? Or is it the same for everyone?",
  "description": "Today I had a thought. Two leaders were having a conversation and I knew it was wrong to interrupt, but I couldn't control myself and ended up interrupting their conversation. I shared my idea, which turned out to be wrong. I felt extremely embarrassed and slowly withdrew from the situation. I felt so frustrated and even cried uncontrollably this morning. When everyone else left one by one to do a task, I was left alone and felt left behind, so I cried with a feeling of injustice. It's actually because of my personality that people don't want to get close to me, but I can't change myself. Also, when I finished work today, I ran into some colleagues who are about to join me in work. They are young and beautiful, which triggered my feelings of inferiority. Because of my personality, I haven't learned certain technical things, and these new colleagues will probably be better at communication than me. There was one time when a new colleague came before, and when both new and old colleagues left to cook, they left all the work for me, and I couldn't control myself from crying. And every time I cry, I can't control it. After working five days on day shift, various things have been giving me a headache. Things that I have learned in five years, others can learn in just two weeks. I can't control my emotions, whether it's joy, anger, sorrow, or happiness. Am I sick?",
  "keywords": "Occupation, workplace relationships, work stress",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "\u3010Personality with an outer square and an inner circle\u3011 \u3010First\u3011 I can feel that you are currently feeling confused, chaotic, puzzled, helpless, wronged, and sad. I can feel your pain. \u3010Second\u3011 Personality with an outer square and an inner circle: 1. Based on your description, I can confirm that your personality structure is \"outer square and inner circle\". Outwardly, you are straightforward and speak your mind, but inwardly, you have low frequency, feel wronged, struggle with refusal, lack energy, and have low self-esteem. 2. Why did this personality develop? At home, there must have been one or more people, parents or family members, who frequently violated your boundaries, causing you to feel insecure and lose the ability to say no. Outside, because you lacked a sense of security at home, it made you more distrustful of people. Alternatively, in order to gain the sense of security that you lacked at home, you may have tried desperately to please others, thereby lowering your own standards, which made you feel extremely wronged. Or perhaps you have experienced being excluded by a group because for some reason you were seen as different and not accepted by the group, which also made you distrust people within the group and prefer to be alone. You feel that nobody understands you and think that the people around you are not trustworthy, and these thoughts attract people who don't understand you and are not worthy of your trust. \u3010Third\u3011 Rebuilding your own life: 1. Understand that these symptoms are all a result of being treated unkindly, especially by your family. You were too young at that time and couldn't choose your own life or resist the way they treated you. Being straightforward, speaking your mind, feeling inferior, and not fitting in are just symptoms, the problem lies with those symptoms, not you. 2. Accept your current self and forgive yourself. Say to yourself, \"I am someone who doesn't fit in, and I accept myself, I forgive myself. I am someone who speaks my mind, and I accept myself, I forgive myself. Only by accepting your flaws can you avoid projecting them onto others or yourself. Accepted flaws have more space and flexibility for improvement. Accepting your own imperfections and dark side allows you to accept the limitations of others and respect their fate without shame and guilt. Those who are controlled by shame and guilt will never be satisfied with themselves. 3. Say \"yes\" to yourself. Learn to be satisfied with yourself and focus on your strengths. Only those who focus on their own strengths can easily see the strengths of others. 4. Establish an inner voice of compassion. The internal critical voice has controlled your life for many years, which is why you attract people who don't understand you and label you. It is time to stop. When it appears, imagine someone full of compassion for you, saying, \"You have done well, I like you just the way you are.\" Inner strength can resist external criticism. Stop criticizing yourself along with those who criticize you. 5. Establish psychological boundaries and allow yourself to say \"no\". You feel wronged because your true self deep down does not want to do these things. You have the right to refuse, and refusing others is safe. Even if others may react negatively, as long as you remain firm, those who love you will respect your boundaries and maintain balance in the relationship. \u3010Fourth\u3011 Maintain cohesion with the group by respecting, supporting, and trusting each other. Everyone likes people like this. But first, you need to love yourself and know how to love yourself, and then you will gradually understand how to love others because people also like to be loved. Actually, it's not that there's something wrong with you. I think your thinking is very clear. The problem is only the symptoms, and symptoms can be changed. Don't worry too much. Keep going and I wish you well. Namaste!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After reading your description, and seeing your final sentence, where you say you can't control your emotions, actually, this statement reveals your weakness. If you think about it the other way around, you will understand where the problem lies. You are aware of the problem. If you had a friend who couldn't control their emotions, how would you feel? After reading your description, my first instinct is that you desire acceptance and validation. At this point, you need to think about how to be accepted and acknowledged. It is crucial to observe how the people around you, your colleagues, handle their emotions in order to receive affirmation and recognition from others. It is said that there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors, and actually, your teachers are right beside you. Don't let your emotions lead you into a state of self-pity; it is a very unhealthy emotion. This emotional state will lead to a closed and extreme behavior pattern. You can be angry, you can be sad, but you should not indulge in self-pity. Transform your emotional state. You mentioned breaking the dialogue between leaders and immediately began self-doubting. Actually, there is no need for that. There are techniques and methods to properly interject into a conversation between two leaders. If you feel lacking in that area, then you should learn, rather than making judgments based on your emotional preferences. In other words, the two leaders won't get angry with you for interrupting them; they will just think that you lack interpersonal skills. If your leaders know you well, they will understand your behavior. If you want to break out of your current emotional patterns, you have to break out of your current self-pattern and learn to navigate between different perspectives - mine, yours, and his. Try to let go of your fixed patterns and intentionally experience a state of somewhat losing control. If you focus too much on your own emotional state, you will not be able to see others' emotional reactions.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug. Feeling different from others, it seems that I am always excluded and cannot fit into the circle. My coworkers think I am not smart and learn things slowly. I had a similar experience before, but at that time I was in high school and living in a dormitory. Everyone knows that there is a lot of scheming in the world of girls. There was a girl in our dormitory who always managed to be liked by others and easily made others want to be with her and be nice to her. I was really envious. I also wanted to receive care and attention from my roommates, so I tried hard to be good to them, but it seemed like they still couldn't see it. I also have a weaker body, so there are many things I can't do and many things I can't eat, so they think I am different from others. But now I can't seem to remember the specific details anymore. After entering college, I still made many friends and even found part-time work in society. I behaved very politely, and they all praised me. So, you don't have a mental illness, it's just that this environment may not be suitable for you. Right now, you feel very uncomfortable and it seems unbearable, but when all this is over, you will feel like it's no big deal. Take the initiative to change the situation. Slow progress is still progress. If it's not suitable, we can choose to change the environment. I hope you become stronger as you go through these experiences in the future. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "From your confession, it seems that you feel the pain of not being accepted but instead rejected in the workplace environment. And facing these, you think it is because of your personal character that this happens. I believe there is a component of that, but it is by no means the only barrier. You say you cannot change yourself, but in fact, when it comes to the topic of change in this world, it boils down to just four words: want or don't want. If you truly realize the flaws and shortcomings within yourself, and are willing to make efforts to find the root causes of the problems and thus want to change, then I believe you will be able to improve your shortcomings through various means and methods. Therefore, when you say you cannot change, I can understand it as you do not want to change. The workplace is full of competition and stratagems. Everyone who wants to survive in the workplace needs to acquire a wide range of skills. Whether a newcomer or an experienced employee, you need to constantly upgrade your skills in order to secure a place and stand firm in the workplace. From your confession, I feel that you are not very good at refusing in your daily work. That's why so many colleagues, including younger newcomers, can easily pass their work onto you. And when faced with all of this, you can only vent your repressed emotions by silently shedding tears. Over time, you will grow tired of this environment in your heart and find everyone annoying, and in their eyes, you will naturally become the \"nice person\" who can be ordered around by anyone. To solve this problem, you must be willing to exert more effort than others, make yourself stronger, learn more about the business, gain the recognition of your superiors, and thus improve your position within the company. In the workplace, if you say people are superficial, I don't think you're wrong. You haven't shown any value for others to exploit. Who would want to have any connection with you? Therefore, the root of these problems lies within yourself. I hope that you can see the shortcomings in yourself through what may seem like character issues, and become a valuable person through your own efforts.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Let's carefully analyze:\n1) Today, I had a thought while two leaders were in a conversation. I knew it was inappropriate to interrupt, but I couldn't control myself and interrupted their conversation. I shared my idea, which turned out to be wrong, and I felt extremely embarrassed. My response: Stay calm. Everyone hopes to perform well in the workplace, especially in front of leaders. Even though you knew you shouldn't have interrupted, you can say that you acted impulsively without considering the consequences. However, it also shows your courage. I believe that when you expressed your idea, you didn't know it was wrong, so you said it and confirmed it was wrong. This becomes a valuable experience for you. So, don't be discouraged. It's rare to bravely express your thoughts, but you also realized that finding the right timing to speak up and providing more evidence for your ideas would be better. It's not about avoiding making mistakes altogether, but reducing the chances of making mistakes. [Do you see the gains? As long as there are gains, there's no need for remorse!]\n2) Today, I couldn't control myself and cried in the morning. It happened when everyone was called away one by one to do a task, leaving only me behind. I felt left out and cried in frustration. It's actually due to my personality; others don't want to get close to me, but I can't change myself. My response: If you can't change, then don't change. Try accepting yourself as you are now. When you feel wronged, what influences your expression? Do others really not want to get close to you, or is it just a feeling? Have you noticed that if others truly don't want to get close to you, have you really tried to get closer to them?\n3) Today, when I finished work and ran into my colleagues who were about to join me in the job, they were all young and beautiful. My inferiority complex kicked in because of my personality. I haven't learned some technical issues that they already know. Whenever a newcomer arrives, they can articulate things better than me. Once, when a newcomer arrived, everyone went to prepare meals, and I was left to do all the work. I couldn't control myself and cried, and every time I cry, I can't control myself. After working the day shift for five days, various things have given me a headache. I've been working for five years, and others can learn things I know in just two weeks. I can't control all my emotions, joys, sorrows, and joys. Am I sick? My response: Everyone has their own pace. Some people are genuinely faster, while others are slower. Try to accept that you are slower than others, and there are advantages to being slow. It allows you to think more carefully and thoroughly. In other words, consider turning your perceived shortcomings into your strengths. Overall, you indeed have some lack of confidence and feelings of helplessness. It is advisable to seek advice from a counselor. I believe it will be helpful for you!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I really sympathize with your situation, but everything has its causes and effects. Some things accompany us from birth and cannot be changed, but there are also things that we can strive for through later efforts and changes. Let's talk about your problem first: two leaders are having a conversation, and you know you shouldn't interrupt, but you still can't control yourself and do it anyway. But in the end, it turns out that your idea was wrong, so it's very embarrassing. The company is doing a project and everyone else has been called away, leaving only you because of your personality, others don't want to come near you, and you are very distressed. When facing new people, you feel inferior. Because of your personality, your learning speed may not be as fast as others. And others may be better than you in certain aspects, and you don't know what to do. From your description, your personality does indeed tend to be introverted or somewhat taciturn. This doesn't mean you're not good; some things are innate and cannot be categorized as good or bad. Your personality may not be the fastest in terms of learning, but you also have your advantages. Maybe you think more than others and are more reliable in your actions, etc. Therefore, you shouldn't always compare yourself with others' strengths and your own weaknesses, as this can easily make you feel inferior and lose motivation at work. Let me share my own story: I used to work at Foxconn in Chengdu as an external vendor. When I first arrived at the company, I didn't know anything, and for the first half month, I was basically clueless about what I was doing. Maybe it's true that I'm slow at learning! But as long as the seniors entrusted me with tasks, I would gradually take notes and carefully contemplate them afterwards. Slowly, I started to grasp some clues, and gradually began to work independently, seeking advice from the seniors when I didn't understand something. Later on, I even became a team leader, and many of the seniors didn't necessarily know as much as I did, to the point where the boss even tried to keep me when I left the company. But I never thought I was better than the seniors, nor did I think I was superior to them. They had more experience, both in work and in interpersonal relationships, and there were many things I could learn from them. Likewise, during that time in Chengdu, because of leading a team, I learned about how to interact with others and understand how the boss evaluates people from another perspective. Although in today's society, an individual's abilities are crucial, the boss may value the employee's character more. Some people may be very capable and quick learners, but if they don't comply with the boss's management, or demonstrate arrogance, a disregard for others, or try to cut corners, the boss may not like them, and even find them irritating. As for you, although your learning abilities may not be the strongest, you surely have many other strengths, such as being honest and sincere. If not, as a boss, I would never allow you to continue working. Since the boss has decided to keep you, it means you definitely have your own value. And you should find and make the most of your value. As for interrupting the conversation between the bosses, it's definitely inappropriate. Since you've been working for many years, you should know how to interact with the boss. Maybe you wanted to prove yourself too much and couldn't control yourself, turning your cleverness into foolishness. When the bosses are discussing something, even if you know their viewpoints are wrong, you shouldn't directly point it out. It doesn't look good for anyone, and even if your suggestion is right, what can you do about it? What should you do? You can wait until the bosses finish their conversation and then privately talk to your direct supervisor about your suggestions. If your suggestions are feasible, the boss will gladly accept them; if the suggestions are not feasible, it's a private conversation between you and your supervisor, and it won't make both sides feel awkward. As for wanting to prove yourself, talking to the boss privately is also a way of proving yourself. Maybe it won't be very direct, but what you do will be noticed by others, and when the opportunity arises, it will naturally be yours. As for the relationship with your colleagues, I'm not very clear on the exact reasons why you have a bad relationship with them since your description is vague. I don't think it's because of your abilities, because I've seen many people who aren't very strong in their work but still have good relationships with people. Is it because you're too straightforward or for some other reason? Regardless of the reason, we should learn to adapt and change, and these are things that can be changed. Since it's work, we inevitably have to interact with colleagues, and if it becomes too strained, it will also be detrimental to your work. How can you improve the relationship with your colleagues? For example, you can share food with others, tell them your own stories, help them with things within your capabilities, etc. In Chinese society, reciprocity is emphasized \u2013 if you help others, they will also help you; if you respect others, they will do the same. OP's problem is quite common in the workplace, luckily you are aware of your issues and seeking change, which indicates that you are making progress. I hope the above sharing can be helpful to you and I hope OP's work goes smoothly.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "We have all been ordinary employees and certainly know the hardships of frontline staff, so when we have ideas and want to talk to our leaders, it is actually to seek their approval. You also know that interrupting others is impolite, so I think you must have a reason for speaking first. First, you are an impulsive person, and you speak whatever comes to mind. Second, you do not have the habit of drafting, so you feel the need to speak immediately, otherwise you might forget or lose enthusiasm later. In the workplace, you might just be a clumsy person, but it's okay, as long as you don't compare your shortcomings with others' strengths, you are not worthless. Senior colleagues in the workplace have also started as newcomers. When I say newcomer, it is relative to the experienced veterans. Therefore, it is never too late to learn. To get rid of clumsiness, the first thing you must learn is to plan your work. With a plan, you can proceed step by step instead of trying to do everything at once. Secondly, learn to summarize experiences and learn from mistakes. We shouldn't endure injustices in vain; learn from and reflect on them. Thirdly, humbly learn from and consult with colleagues. Regardless of whether they are newcomers or veterans, everyone has their own strengths. Learn from others to compensate for your own weaknesses. Fourth, set some rules for yourself. Before speaking, silently count to seven in your mind. This will reduce impulsive remarks. Fifth, don't label yourself casually. If you believe you are incapable and unable to learn, then you really won't be able to. In fact, as long as you have the desire, there is nothing you can't learn - it's just a matter of degree. Everything is possible for those who are determined.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 16327
 },
 {
  "question": "Clashes within organizations can be particularly draining. What should I do?",
  "description": "On Monday and Wednesday evenings, I have computer classes. On Tuesday and Thursday, I have training at the television station. If I don't have a sick leave tomorrow, I'll have to talk to the counselor to see if they can let me go for an audition at the dubbing society. I also participated in a debate competition. But I'm really in so much pain and agony. The intermediate level computer courses are so difficult, and I've been thinking a lot. I wonder if all these extra activities are all in vain. Will the job interviewer even consider them? On the surface, it seems like I'm quite accomplished, but maybe I'm not. I joined this and that, but my roommate hasn't joined anything and can still attend the television training and evening self-study sessions. Maybe it's better to not join anything and just focus on getting good grades and winning scholarships. I don't want to continue anymore. I just posted a query. I only finished my computer class at 9:30 today, and after coming back home and doing my laundry, I'm here writing. I'm so miserable and I want to have some fun. Goodbye? Why am I participating in the debate competition when I'm so busy? Why? It's just to showcase myself and go back to the glory days of elementary school. It's exhausting, painful, and pressuring. I can't stop. I don't want to do it, but I'm forcing myself. Ah.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, aggression, compulsions, hypochondria.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug OP: OP is a positive and hardworking child. You could spend your days like others, playing games like King of Glory or eating chicken, watching Douyin and Kuaishou videos. But you are different from them; you have your own dreams and hobbies, and you know how to plan your time effectively. This shows that you are disciplined and studying more is not harmful to yourself. I don't know if you have heard Jay Chou's song \"Listen to Mother's Words,\" where others are reading comics, he is learning to draw; while others are playing, he is studying the ABCs of English and catching up with others. It's not just about regular classes but also about studying more in your free time. This will bring you more interest and hobbies to participate in and more experience to handle future work issues in society. Although jobs nowadays value diplomas, no one will want an employee who lacks any working ability, lacks ambition, and avoids responsibilities, playing games all day and evading reality. However, OP does have your own issue: you have too many hobbies you like and want to do everything comprehensively. Instead of putting yourself under intense pressure and failing to handle any of them well, it is better to concentrate on two or three things and give up unnecessary things that don't have a big impact on you, things that you don't have the energy to consider. If you put in a little more effort now, there will be rewards in the future. However, you don't need to fill up your schedule so much. Leave some time to rest, and you will absorb things faster. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it takes time to adjust and strike a balance between work and rest. What you need most is to clarify your development goals, handle problems with focus, and have ambitious aspirations. However, if your goals are too big and you don't break them down into achievable steps, you will easily feel exhausted.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a hug. After reading your question, I feel a little sorry for you. I can tell that you are a very ambitious person who wants to enrich your experiences, increase your knowledge and gain more experience during your university life. But I also can tell that you are under a lot of pressure and feel confused about whether all this effort is worth it. In your question, you mentioned that your roommates are not as hardworking as you. It seems like you are not trying to compete with your roommates, but rather trying to \"regain the glory days of elementary school\". This is why you are pushing yourself so hard. In fact, a person's confidence is not measured by how brilliant they are, nor by how outstanding they are among their peers. True confidence does not come from comparing oneself to others, it is not external, but rather an internal trust and affirmation of oneself. You can try to calm down and ask yourself, what kind of life do you want in the future? No matter how excellent you are, there will always be someone even more excellent than you. Does that mean you have to keep chasing after them? The meaning of life is not about surpassing others, but about experiencing, not about comparing, but about feeling, not about the outcome, but about the process. We must acknowledge that there will always be someone better than us. As long as we do our best within our capabilities, it is valuable and meaningful. So, at this moment, hug yourself and learn to love yourself. Taking care of your emotions and physical well-being is even more important than work and study. Before the college entrance examination, teachers always taught us to score high and get into a good university. In fact, whether your life is happy or not does not depend on your grades, or even your job abilities, but on your ability to love yourself, understand yourself, and accept yourself. I believe you can fall in love with yourself, take care of yourself, and find your own way of life. I hope this helps. Best wishes! Feel free to follow me!",
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  ],
  "questionID": 5221
 },
 {
  "question": "After realizing that you have emotions, what should you do next to avoid becoming irritable?",
  "description": "Because my daughter doesn't listen, she ignores me when I ask her to sit up straight, and she ignores me when I ask her to do more homework. This makes me very angry, and even though I tell her to go to bed early, she still takes her time and doesn't go to bed until 11 o'clock. In the end, I became furious and ended up hitting her with a clothes hanger. I'm thinking about how to calm myself down and not be so irritable when I notice that I have emotions.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your frustration as a mother when you see your child in this state of learning. Your self-awareness is very clear, being able to recognize your own emotions. So, when the emotions arise, you can give yourself three minutes and then communicate with your child. During the communication, you can change the commonly used expressions focused on \"you\" to expressions focused on \"I\", such as what \"I\" see, how \"I\" feel, what \"I\" hope, and if you can do something, \"I\" will be happy for you. Avoid communicating in the midst of emotions, as it often does not solve any problems. Changing the way you express yourself may make it easier for your child to accept. I am an assistant to Teacher Hui Ming, and these are my personal thoughts. I hope they can help you a little. Finally, I would like to share a message from Teacher Chen: After living in the city for a long time, I still long for the tranquility and serenity of the countryside. I enjoy the peaceful moments of reading, as well as the exhilarating feeling of sweating on the field and the satisfaction of finishing a 40-kilometer marathon. However, only after traveling through dozens of countries across Asia and Europe, experiencing various foreign customs, did I realize that my home is the most beautiful and warm haven deep in my soul. And in experiencing the ups and downs of life and reading about the diverse experiences of people, I have come to understand that the inner self is the source of life's motivation and the harbor of rest.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "First of all, you need to realize that you are interfering too much in other people's lives, even if that person is your child. I have seen many dedicated parents who have to explain every single action of their child, afraid that they won't remember and have to repeat it many times. In fact, this excessive care not only fails to cultivate a child's ability to be independent and autonomous but also makes the child resentful. An article years ago praised how foreign children could travel by themselves at the age of eleven or twelve, but even now in China, parents still harp on their children even when they go to a nearby playground. Chinese parents are always afraid of their children making mistakes, but making mistakes is not necessarily a bad thing. When a child makes a mistake and receives punishment, they will reflect and spontaneously correct their behavior to promote their own growth. However, parental reminders, while preventing mistakes, also deprive children of the opportunity to think independently. If she wants to be slow, let her be slow. If she stays up late and lacks energy for class the next day, she will realize that she needs to sleep early. If she doesn't do her homework well, let her face the teacher's scolding a few times. It is better for her to voluntarily ask you to check her homework than for you to supervise her. Sometimes parents need to let go appropriately and let their children grow on their own.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the title party. Hugs to you. From your description \"My daughter misbehaved, so I hit her with a hanger,\" it can be seen that you are frustrated with the issue of educating your daughter. However, since you are seeking help on how to control your emotions, it shows that deep down, you still hope to find better ways to educate your child. Understanding the dangers of anger. Scientific research has shown that harmful substances that are produced in the body during anger can greatly increase, not only posing a threat to conditions like hypertension and cardiovascular diseases but also causing significant harm to mental health. Moreover, your anger may affect your child's mood as well. The well-known \"kicking the cat effect\" explains this phenomenon, which depicts the contagious nature of bad emotions. Strengthen the experience of positive emotions. In psychology, there are many types of positive emotions, including gratitude, satisfaction, happiness, pride, and hope. Positive subjective experiences can elicit positive emotions, which in turn enhance feelings of happiness. Not only you, but your child also needs to cultivate positive emotions. Some methods to foster positive emotions include keeping a gratitude journal, engaging in gratitude contemplation, and expressing gratitude. In our daily lives, we have many things to deal with, and we may experience various emotions throughout the day. Purposefully recording positive emotions can help regulate negative ones. Understand yourself and accept yourself. Based on your description \"My daughter misbehaved, and in a fit of anger, I hit her,\" it can be seen that you tend to be impatient. However, your overreacting behavior may indicate that you are trying hard to correct your daughter's mistakes. I wonder if you were also harshly disciplined in your childhood? Do you believe that violence is the only way to deal with a disobedient child, without considering other better methods? Perhaps you are influenced by a psychological phenomenon called \"transference.\" You are bringing your emotions and experiences from your own childhood into your current life and your child's education. Only by reflecting on yourself, understanding yourself, and accepting yourself at the root, can you reintegrate yourself.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 6220
 },
 {
  "question": "The boss is asking to work overtime, but I don't want to. However, I don't feel comfortable refusing. What should I do?",
  "description": "Today I finished my tasks relatively early and should have left work earlier, but the boss was still busy and there was indeed a lot of work, but it had nothing to do with me. I was just about to ask if there was anything else when she worriedly said that the sign hadn't been hung up and she would be busy again tomorrow and wouldn't have time for it. She asked if I could help hang it up. I really wanted to go home quickly, cook, and wait. But I felt that I had just started and hadn't established myself yet, so it wouldn't be good to refuse. I felt annoyed inside, so I didn't do a good job and the first sign was crooked, haha. The boss said, \"Stick it with glue,\" and I quickly stuck it on. After that, it was easier for me to put them up on the wall. She had no choice but to say, \"You can go now.\" On the way home, I was a little worried and afraid that the boss would be unhappy. Did I go too far?",
  "keywords": "Career, workplace relationships, work pressure, work fatigue.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "It's not excessive at all, really, just a little greedy. Is it necessary to feel unhappy in order to not do a good job? Yes, it is. It's completely normal for someone who sees work as a means of making a living to not do a good job when they are unhappy. And there's nothing wrong with the idea of seeing work as a means of making a living. The only problem is, since you choose not to do the job well, you will naturally have to bear any consequences that come with it. Whether the boss is happy or not depends on her temperament and character, but even if she is not happy, you still have to endure it because it's your choice. It's not excessive at all for occasional episodes of feeling unhappy and not doing a good job. However, if you hope that you can do a poor job and yet expect others to have no opinions of you, that's a little excessive and greedy. Actually, you understand the reasoning and have expressed it clearly. You know that you have just started and haven't found your footing yet, but you are not refusing, you are just not doing a good job. This shows that you understand, but this matter is not important enough for you, so you try to avoid it by messing up instead of saying \"even though I don't want to, I'll still give it a try and stand up for myself after I figure out how the boss is.\" To be accurate, you only tried half-heartedly this time, and this situation is more precarious than directly standing up or persistently half-heartedly trying. Because if this kind of behavior happens frequently, it resembles a term called \"obeying while opposing,\" but your actions are only involving minor emotions and tactics, which is different from the term. The next time you encounter such a situation, it is recommended either to do it properly or directly say that you have something to do at home and need to leave early. Of course, you can continue to half-heartedly try, but you should be clear in your mind: once you make a choice, don't regret it; if you regret it, don't do it next time. The criteria for judging whether this behavior is excessive or not actually lie with your boss. How we perceive it is not important, what matters is how she perceives it.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hey, OP! It's true that overtime is a headache for many working professionals. When it comes to tasks that don't belong to us or additional ones that suddenly come up, it's natural to feel unpleasant emotions. Here are some suggestions I'd like to share with you. First, when faced with work assigned by superiors that we can't refuse, it's important to maintain a positive mindset. If we don't have better options, it's better to do our best to maximize the benefits. This way, we can avoid letting our mood affect our work outcome and generating more negative consequences. Second, effective communication with our supervisors is key. For tasks that truly cannot be completed, we can address the practical difficulties and discuss them with our superiors.",
    "has_label": false,
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  "questionID": 10247
 },
 {
  "question": "15-year-old girl, why has her mood been consistently unstable and prone to breakdowns in the past six months?",
  "description": "Before, I was in good mental health. I used to wake up at five or six in the morning and not feel tired. But in the past six months, I have been extremely sleepy and tired every day. My emotions are easily overwhelmed, and I feel uncomfortable and start crying and trembling involuntarily when triggered. I also engage in self-harming behaviors and have thoughts of suicide.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "At the age of 15, it is almost during the intense pressure of transitioning to high school or in the pressure of high school. From your description, it seems that you used to have very good mental health, waking up at five or six in the morning without feeling tired. But in the past six months, you have been extremely sleepy and tired every day. This paragraph shows that you are extremely exhausted and have not received good coping mechanisms, which can be very distressing emotionally and leave you feeling helpless. So how can you regulate your emotions? Different people have different reactions when they are in a bad mood. Some people choose to eat to relieve their emotions, some people resort to shopping or other means to vent their emotions, and some people cope with their bad mood by sweating through exercise to reduce stress. Exercise can produce substances like dopamine that make people excited. By engaging in appropriate exercise, improving sleep quality, and taking it easy, things will get better.",
    "has_label": false,
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  "questionID": 18929
 },
 {
  "question": "Some issues that I am self-conscious about, unsure of the reasons and methods for improvement?",
  "description": "I realize that I have a lot of problems, but I don't know how to change. 1. I am afraid of conflict and don't know how to deal with it. I am always kind to others, but often encounter people who take advantage of my kindness. I feel stubborn inside, but still want to maintain harmony and avoid conflicts. 2. When playing with children, they often engage in inappropriate behavior, such as fighting over toys or not wanting to leave a toy store. I am afraid of conflicts and annoying the store owners. I don't know how to handle these situations or communicate with others, so I try to avoid them. I don't like this approach because it doesn't set a good example for my children and only involves avoiding conflicts rather than resolving them. 3. In work and life, I seldom seek help. I don't feel deserving of others' assistance. I envy those who openly express their needs and seek help. I am afraid that my needs will be ignored and no one will respond to me. I also fear burdening and troubling others.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, communication, conflicts",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me to answer your question. In the words and lines that you wrote, I can see that you are afraid and nervous when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially conflicts. At the same time, this fear and nervousness make you feel bad, and you think of yourself as weak and dislike this about yourself, right? First of all, I want to validate your feelings. No one likes conflicts. In conflicts, we all feel some fear, even those who seem strong and confrontational still fear being bullied by others, or getting hurt in conflicts. Conflict is a stressful situation with many uncertainties, so when faced with such pressure and uncertainty, some people may choose to take risks, while others choose to avoid. In fact, both are self-protection measures, and there is no good or bad. With this understanding as a basis, I believe it will be easier to deal with conflicts. When encountering an environment that you don't like, choosing to avoid is the best option! As the saying goes, \"the best strategy is to retreat\". This is not a sign of weakness, but rather a wise decision. There's no need for a person to force themselves to stay in an environment they don't like, or to force themselves to get along with people they don't like. If someone violates me and makes me unhappy, I will either fight back, or if I don't have the ability to do so, I choose to ignore them and walk away. This is the power of refusal. By refusing them, I let them know my stance. The way others treat me is often taught by myself. Secondly, when it comes to feeling dissatisfied with yourself for not being able to deal with conflicts, I think you feel frustrated with various situations. You feel incapable when you resist, and powerless when you compromise, right? I think it's important to first understand what you are capable of doing. When you can't resist, choose to distance yourself, and then slowly figure out how to better deal with such situations. When you encounter it again, try again. Take one step forward if possible, or stick to the way you dealt with it before if necessary. What do you think? As for children, I believe you can relax a little. Children have their own ways of coping with the world, and we don't need to intervene in how they relate to the outside world. If they get along well, give them that space. If problems arise, then help them solve them. At least other children won't ignore or attack them just because they don't share a toy. These are all within reasonable range, so why worry? The boss won't fire him just because he's playing with toys, so there's no need to overthink it. We don't need to be responsible for others.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "In fact, when conflict arises in life, it is not necessary to raise your voice and argue aggressively with others. If you are someone who is quiet and gentle, you can certainly have your own way of handling things and solve problems with a more gentle attitude. First, accept that you are a relatively calm, introverted, or sensitive person, and then find a method that suits you. Sensitive people certainly do not want to be caught in conflict because it is a painful experience for them. Those people who are tough may not even consider conflict to be so painful, so it is important to understand yourself and not put yourself in a particularly uncomfortable position. Classify the conflicts: which ones are more important to you and must be fought for, and which ones are relatively unimportant, so you can choose to let go and ignore them in exchange for your own peace of mind. When you mention people who always pick on others, what specific situations are you referring to? If it is something that is not very important to you, such as someone trying to take your seat on the subway, then just let them have it. It's not a big deal whether you get a seat or not, right? This way, you can ensure that you remain in a happy mood and do not get caught up in resentment. If it is something important, like someone complaining to your superior that you didn't do your job well when in fact you did, then you can take the initiative to explain to your superior what work you have been doing. Present your work reports and progress to make your superior realize that you did not make a mistake. You do not need to directly argue with that person, accusing them of slandering you. You only need to do what you can do and clarify your position calmly and logically. The outcome is beyond your control, but you have done what you can. When children fight over toys, you need to realize that you are an adult and in a position of power. You have every right to educate your child if they do something wrong, while the child is actually in a position of weakness. Eventually, they will listen to you. You don't need to adopt an aggressive attitude. Just calmly repeat to the child that it is wrong to fight over toys and that you would not be happy if someone took your toy, right? Try to distract them with other activities and redirect their attention. I don't see anything wrong with that. Children need to be comforted. Of course, in the end, you should patiently but firmly tell them not to take other people's toys. It is inherent in children to play with toys, and it would be concerning if they showed no interest in anything. Perhaps you have set high expectations for yourself? If your child plays with toys in a store for a while, it is acceptable. But if they stay there for a long time and it affects the store's business, you can say to your child, \"Sweetie, you have been playing for a long time. Let's go do something else,\" and describe something else that attracts them to get them to leave. If you can maintain a calm and firm demeanor, even if the child cries and throws a tantrum, they will gradually calm down. As for being afraid to ask for help or fearing rejection, you should tell yourself that you cannot control everything in life, but you can try your best. If you don't ask for help, you are guaranteed to fail, but if you ask for help, you have a 50% chance of success. You are not other people, and maybe others are happy to help you? So, don't make subjective assumptions, as it is unfair to others. Even if someone rejects you, it is not your fault. They may simply have limited ability or be too busy to help you. As long as you seek help with composure and politeness, it is impossible for others to respond with hostility. We live in relationships, so if someone helps you this time, you will definitely help others next time. Everyone benefits mutually, so don't have too much psychological burden. Just because this person does not want or cannot help you does not mean that everyone is the same. Be brave, try something different.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there~ Sigmund Freud once said, \"Any emotion that you suppress (the ones you don't allow yourself to experience, the ones you don't allow yourself to have) will resurface in a more ugly way in the future.\" If we were to reframe the topic of fear of conflict, I would say, \"I'm very afraid of engaging in conflict with others. How can I coexist with this emotion of mine?\" There are countless reasons why people dislike conflict, such as having experienced a lot of conflict within the family, which makes you feel particularly fearful because for you, conflict may mean falling apart or significant loss, or fear. Some people are afraid of conflict because their families have always had high expectations for them, and they are extremely concerned about disappointing others. Therefore, they fear conflict and saying no. If we consider the fear of conflict as a psychological symptom, there may be many different causes. However, regardless of the reason, the most important thing for us, as adults, is whether our definition of ourselves changes when conflict occurs. For example, do we think of ourselves as a bad person because our opinions differ from others, because we have disappointed others, because we can't meet others' expectations, or because we have conflicts with others? Therefore, others may not like me anymore, and therefore, they might leave me... The healthy way to deal with conflict is, on the level of the situation, to negotiate with the other person or the environment. Where did we misunderstand each other? What can I do, and what can't I do? Is there a better way to handle this conflict? At the same time, I won't use this issue to judge myself or change my self-perception. So fundamentally, this issue is about whether I think I am good or not, whether my evaluation of myself is stable. The fear of conflict is just a manifestation that comes to the surface, but the core issue may be whether we can feel stable in ourselves, that we are good and valuable. When this stability is present, external conflicts can be seen for what they are without constantly bringing it back to the matter of self-evaluation. I hope you have the ability to like yourself, to love yourself, and to build a good social support system for yourself. In this system, it can provide you with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. This is particularly important for a person. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I really hope I can help you. You said you are afraid of conflicts and don't know how to deal with them. From another perspective, you are kind-hearted and gentle. You mentioned that you guide children to play with other toys instead of fighting with other children. From another perspective, you are teaching children to avoid conflicts in a reasonable way. You said you don't bother others, but from another perspective, you are strong and independent. When you don't see these as problems, maybe there will be a new solution to the problem. I sincerely want to help you, thank you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Uncertain about your upbringing, all these manifestations revolve around a core issue of lack of confidence and low self-worth. Firstly, fearing conflict may be due to witnessing frequent conflicts between your parents during your early development, or conflicts between your parents and yourself, such as being scolded by them. Secondly, you still care a lot about others' opinions and attitudes towards you and cannot truly be yourself. The third point is that you dare not express your true self and might have strict parents who inhibit you from expressing your normal needs, making you feel inadequate. These manifestations are all related to your early developmental experiences and I don't know what you have been through, or how your parents treated you. If you want to change, I suggest seeking counseling because these issues stem from deep-seated beliefs or values formed during your early experiences, such as the belief that others will hurt me or that the world is unsafe, etc.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I hope you can change yourself a bit. Although the child is still young, they will learn from the words and actions of adults. When faced with a problem, pause and think about how others perceive it, and then shift your perspective to yourself. If the child is grabbing someone else's toy, you can tell them that it is not right to snatch toys. If they want to play, they should ask nicely if they can borrow it instead of grabbing. When you see the child grabbing toys from others, ask yourself why you dislike it and find the reason deep inside your heart. Is it the behavior that you dislike or your own inability to resolve it? Ask yourself several times. You need to break through others' perspectives and face the truth of the matter and the problems you see. In work, it is inevitable that you will need the help of others, just like your current job where the boss cannot do everything alone. If you can't finish it or don't know, don't you also hire workers? Ask yourself why. If you are afraid, you can practice at home with your child. For example, tell them more stories and point out where the child is wrong. Gradually, as you accumulate opinions and experiences, you will become more courageous.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You have become aware of some issues, showing that your self-awareness is quite clear. However, you are unable to find ways to solve these problems, possibly because you were not taught how to resolve conflicts in your early life and the caregivers at home also encouraged you to avoid them. But now you want to improve, and there are actually ways to do so. Firstly, try to confront the conflicts step by step, and you will gradually find solutions. Secondly, seek the help of a counselor and experience conflicts and discover ways to resolve them within the counseling relationship. Of course, this is a long-term process. As you start to change, you will have more and more methods in the future, and you will also grow stronger.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "First, let me give you a big hug. I've had all these problems before, and they still exist to some extent now. Let me tell you about my journey of change. I was also troubled by these issues and was afraid that my state would affect my children, so I finally decided to seek counseling. During the counseling session, I said what I wanted to say, and the counselor reflected back to me what she heard. I was shocked at that moment. It turned out that someone would listen to me and care about what I had to say. Later, the counselor said that I told my tragic story with a smile, and she felt sorry for me. I was deeply moved at that moment and suddenly felt like crying. It turns out that my suffering was not deserved. Later on, of course, there were many other things. In conclusion, I have been doing well, and not many people could do better under the same circumstances. I have done my best within my capabilities. Later, I learned a lot on my own, and now I am much better. However, sometimes different problems still resurface to varying degrees. But I know that I am completely different from the person who used to occasionally think of suicide. I want to tell you that the appearance of problems does not mean that we are not good enough, it just means that we haven't found the solution yet. And I also believe that in your life, you have already done your best within your capabilities. You deserve a big hug from yourself. If you are ready, you can seek help from a counselor. If not, it's also okay to continue striving on your own. Keep going! I hope my answer has been helpful to you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10729
 },
 {
  "question": "Male, I notice that all my college classmates are very good at being crazy and lively, but I'm not. Does this make me feel inferior?",
  "description": "I feel like my roommates are very crazy and loud, while I feel like I am very quiet and incapable. I have a sense of inferiority and feel like I am very pathetic and not manly. I feel so inferior, without dignity in the dormitory, which adds a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am an outlier among other guys and have a strong feeling of inferiority. What should I do? Sometimes when my roommates say something to me, I don't know how to argue back. I feel like I am suffocating, weak, and helpless. I feel like I can't go on anymore, and I'm struggling.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, trauma treatment, counseling and listening.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP, we all grow up in different environments, naturally resulting in different personalities. You belong to the introverted and reserved type of personality, while your roommate is the complete opposite. But neither of you is right or wrong, everyone is fine. Haven't you heard the saying before? It's about finding someone who matches your personality. OP, as someone who is relatively quiet, I believe you also wish to have quiet friends. So you don't need to feel inferior just because you are quiet and others are loud. Being introverted and quiet is not a flaw, it's just your way of living. It can only be said that your lifestyle and your roommate's are different, but neither of you is at fault. You know the saying, \"if two people don't click, don't force it\"? They simply don't understand you, they don't understand your way of life, so no matter how much you explain to them, they won't understand. I believe that one day you will find friends who have similar interests and can talk with you. And when that day comes, you will feel relaxed and comfortable being around them. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5233
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do parents always fail to understand oneself when carrying so many negative emotions?",
  "description": "I am being driven crazy by my parents. They never consider my feelings and only use their own ideas to educate me. They never think from my perspective. Maybe I am currently going through a phase of rebellion, and I often do the opposite of what they want. But I also feel guilty and sometimes feel like I am letting them down. But I have tried my best, really tried my best. Every day, I have to carry a lot of negative emotions. I dare not tell them how difficult it is for me at this age. I often go to bed after 4 o'clock at night, sometimes I can't even sleep. I always think about things, blankly staring and crying. But I have never told them, nor have they considered whether I might have such emotions. I have learned to smoke, drink, and engage in other improper behaviors, but I feel that these things can make me happy, even if it is just temporarily. My mother divorced my father when I was young, and now she has remarried and has a younger sister seven years younger than me. I have never experienced fatherly love from childhood to adulthood. I don't even know what fatherly love is. The relationship between my current father and I is particularly bad. From the time I slowly grew up until now, we have probably only spoken less than twenty sentences to each other...",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "When we are burdened with a lot of negative emotions, there is always a voice in our hearts telling ourselves, \"How I wish someone could understand me.\" So our parents become the first people who should understand us, because since they are our parents, they should understand us. I have also, like you, wished for someone to help me understand myself when I carried negative emotions. I also hoped that my parents could understand. Actually, \"the only person who truly understands you is yourself.\" We hope that our parents can understand us, but in reality, the way they understand you is only based on how they see you. In their eyes, you should be a certain way and should develop in the direction they want. If you have close communication with your parents on a daily basis, then they might immediately sense your needs and adjust accordingly, and vice versa. It is precisely because they have never considered your feelings, and have always used their own idea of education to teach you, without ever thinking from your perspective, that has led to your rebellion and resistance. Because you want to prove that you are right and also want your parents to understand and pay more attention to you. You mentioned that you have learned behaviors such as smoking and drinking as a way to relieve negative emotions, but you don't need to feel guilty because you have tried your best to use the methods you have learned to help yourself. You just haven't found a better way to replace your current behaviors. Even so, it does not erase the fact that you are a good child. Here, hug yourself for striving and moving forward. If your current school has a counseling office, please go there and seek help from a counselor, or seek help from public welfare counseling. In addition, you can try to tell your parents about your current difficulties and struggles. If you are unwilling to share with them, you can also choose a teacher you trust in school and share your current difficulties with them. You can also leave your questions on a platform and solve and heal yourself step by step. Reading psychology books is also a way of self-healing. Or try writing to find inner peace. I hope that the above suggestions can be helpful to you. I believe that you can overcome your current struggles and achieve healing and growth.",
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      "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
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    ]
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your words, I feel a deep sense of heartache. Sending you a comforting hug. We cannot choose who our parents are, but we can choose what kind of children we become. Perhaps it is fate that you are a celestial being sent by heaven to overcome tribulations. Your parents have this personality, and because of their past experiences, they habitually treat you in this way and believe it is \"for your own good.\" Understanding their intention to do good for you may help decrease the conflicts between you. Therefore, you need to quantify their expectations of you. What are the criteria for doing well? These standards should be quantifiable, rather than just based on a feeling. For example, if your grades are not good, what score do they consider to be good? Then you can communicate what kind of support you need to improve your grades. Many communication problems arise from inconsistent standards, and they may not even be aware of what the standards are; they just habitually reject you and criticize you. So, let them clarify their standards, and when everyone can act according to the same set of standards, it becomes more manageable. Therefore, when faced with their negation and criticism, understand that their excessive concern also stems from their dissatisfaction with themselves. They are afraid that you will follow in their footsteps and hope that you can surpass them, albeit in a way that may not be to your liking. So, I also suggest that you redirect the emotions of not understanding them towards pursuing your own ideals and goals. Keep going! The world and I love you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug you. I wonder how old you are right now. When you mentioned rebellion, I think you're probably in your teens, in the period of adolescence. This stage is indeed a time of self-discovery and sensitivity, which is not easy. I don't know if you can try to communicate with your parents about your thoughts and feelings. It seems like you have many psychological needs, such as respect and love. But it's difficult for your parents to fulfill them, and you don't dare to ask for too much, is that right? If your parents cannot give you love due to various reasons, you can give it to yourself. For example, you can try some methods to make yourself happy... but smoking and drinking are not very healthy methods and can harm your body. Maybe you can try some better methods, such as cultivating hobbies like drawing, listening to music, writing, exercising, etc., and release your emotions through them... Try to believe in your choices and pursuits, and you will improve yourself, and then you won't feel guilty towards your parents. If you don't even love yourself, then the child is really pitiful.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "\"In adolescence, there is often conflict with parents, but it can also make one feel ashamed. From this perspective, I believe that the questioner is a kind and responsible person. It is normal for everyone to go through a rebellious phase, and if a child always behaves obediently, then there wouldn't be any difficulties for parents. It is clear that the questioner is reflecting on whether they did something wrong, which indicates that they are under significant pressure. Parents may not understand how to accompany their child during this rebellious stage and may use their own traditional methods to educate their child, which makes the questioner feel misunderstood and unaccepted. Feeling misunderstood is already a painful experience in itself. The questioner is currently living in a stepfamily with their mother, and it is necessary to accept this new family situation. Because there is a younger sister who is seven years old and more attention may be given to her, the questioner might feel neglected. Also, since you are not the stepfather's biological child, it is normal for him to not have any emotional attachment to you, but it is still something to be grateful for that he is willing to accept you. Another thing we should understand is that our parents don't know how to educate us properly. In their generation, simply being well-fed and well-clothed was already considered fortunate. Our parents' parents also didn't understand them, so when our parents were raising us, they also couldn't understand us because no one taught them how to. However, it is good that the questioner already understands that their parents don't understand them. Since this is understood, rather than focusing energy on blaming parents for not understanding us, it would be better to focus on understanding ourselves. Changing oneself is difficult, such as wanting to become more disciplined or more understanding of others, but even more difficult is expecting our parents to change and understand us. What you can change is your own mindset. When you understand why you are feeling uncomfortable, why you are under so much pressure, and that all your emotions are valid, you will feel much more relaxed and at ease.\"",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 8135
 },
 {
  "question": "Should I break up with my vocational school girlfriend before I start attending junior college soon?",
  "description": "I'm about to start studying in a vocational college. Should I break up with my girlfriend from vocational high school? I'm afraid we won't last till the end.",
  "keywords": "Love, relationship management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Answering your question is difficult because besides knowing that you are going to college and your girlfriend is going to vocational school, we don't know anything else. But if we have to give an answer, let's analyze it with more assumptions: First, let's understand the triangular theory of love. According to love psychologist Sternberg, love between people consists of three components: passion is the fascination of emotions and physiology, intimacy is the inner dependence and comfort, and commitment is the unwavering determination. This is the famous \"triangular theory of love,\" and the most perfect love is composed of these three elements, none of which can be lacking. Your concerns are probably related to issues such as distance, time, educational background, and societal norms. First, the place where you will study may be far from your girlfriend, but nowadays communication methods are very user-friendly, and transportation is also convenient, so this issue may not be a big problem. Second, it usually takes three years to complete college, and during this period, there may be unexpected events, which are all unknown. However, college life allows for relatively relaxed schedules, so you can still meet or communicate via video during holidays, weekends, etc. Third, educational background is not necessarily a hindrance. People now have diverse ways of obtaining information, and unless you are discussing professional issues, communication between lovers does not usually revolve around academic subjects. Finally, societal norms. In China, there is still an emphasis on matching families, although it may seem a bit outdated, it does have some truth to it, and this cannot be denied. If both of your families have no objections, then one less barrier exists between you. These are all objective reasons, but they do exist objectively. The most important thing is whether the subjective consciousness between you can withstand the test and whether you can trust and support each other. This is something you need to consider for yourself and have a discussion with your girlfriend. Love has always been a matter between two people, and whether they can be happy depends on the feelings of both individuals. The above is just my personal advice, hope it can help you a little, thank you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13701
 },
 {
  "question": "Why does my mother treat her nephew better than her own children?",
  "description": "The gift I gave to my mother, she never used it and always tells others about the gifts my nephew gives her.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Who is good to whom, who is better to whom, and how to express that better. People have different ways of expression, and there will also be different understandings of the same way of expression. For example, if you give a gift to your mother and she never uses it, but she always tells others what her nephew gave her, in her eyes, this may be an expression that she is better to her nephew. It is very likely that it is an expression that her nephew's kindness to her exceeds her expectations - the joy of a person mainly depends on the degree to which it exceeds expectations, not the amount of stimulation (assuming this stimulation can be quantified). It is very likely that you have shown much more love to her than her nephew in terms of the absolute amount of love, but in her eyes, it is normal for the love between mother and son to be boundless. But it may not be the same between aunt and nephew - it is a love that she has won more in this world and is worth boasting about.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Is it true that your mother doesn't love you very much? In human nature, there should be no mother who doesn't love her own child. If your mother's behavior makes you feel unloved, then can you understand her expression of love differently? Some people express love by giving small gifts, some like to cook a delicious meal for you, and others may chat with you... Try to understand your mother's childhood and be curious about the things she has experienced, maybe you will find the answer. Keep going.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20164
 },
 {
  "question": "What can you say to someone trapped in a dire situation, feeling hopeless, and helpless at home, waiting?",
  "description": "Just graduated from high school, a friend's family had an incident, and the whole environment completely changed. It's like falling into an abyss suddenly, and the person's entire perspective has collapsed (what I can confirm is that at least the understanding of family, country, society, and many other things has completely collapsed). Moreover, the situation is still unresolved, and their whole family can only wait at home. I don't know the detailed situation, but I can confirm that she is already very desperate and angry. Currently, we can only communicate through WeChat, and she might not reply to messages. I can't understand the detailed situation, and I have no way to directly provide help or advice. I just want to ask what should I say to her at this time? How should I say it? The current situation is really dire for her, so please don't give any thoughtless advice or suggest any fundraising for therapy. If you don't know what to do, please don't say anything. Thank you. I understand that the information provided is too limited to answer, but I still want to try and ask. I'm worried that her whole family won't be able to live a normal life in the future. But I'm really helpless and don't know what to say. We last contacted on WeChat three days ago, and she directly expressed desperation and anger. Should I send a message on WeChat? What should I say? For example, \"What's the situation at your home now?\" or should I not say anything and wait for the situation to be resolved on their side?\u201d",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, empathy.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I first noticed your kindness and compassion, and commend you for that. No one can wake up someone pretending to be asleep; only when the person themselves is determined to change can others support them. No matter what difficulties your friend's family is facing, as long as they are alive, it is not an insurmountable problem. If they have the courage to face it, they can always start over. I can sense that you really want to support your friend but don't know where to start. Here's a clever approach: the most flexible person in a family has the greatest influence. You can find out who among her parents is more proactive and has the power to change the consequences of the events, and start from there.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
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  "questionID": 12587
 },
 {
  "question": "Vaguely feeling that one is not likable, what might be the possible reasons?",
  "description": "I don't have any problems at work. I can almost always handle the tasks assigned to me with full effort, and I also take on some tasks within my capabilities proactively. I'm not someone who likes to start conflicts in interpersonal relationships. I can sense the trigger points of interpersonal conflicts and foresee behaviors that might offend others, and I will avoid such behaviors. If the conflicts I have with others do not involve principles, I will directly acknowledge the other person's point of view. Even if I have not made any obvious mistakes at work and have not had any opportunities to cause conflicts in interpersonal relationships, I still vaguely feel that I am not likable. For example, when someone with similar work abilities makes a mistake, our superiors playfully scold them, but when I make a mistake, our superiors scold me very seriously. Additionally, my colleagues rarely joke with me, unlike with others. Am I overlooking some interpersonal communication methods, or is it because of my serious and dull side that I may not be likable?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts and contradictions, interpersonal boundaries.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ I understand your feelings very well. Hugs to you~ Based on your description, it seems that you have a relatively clear overall understanding of yourself, but you may just have a little confusion in interpersonal communication. Firstly, it is important to clarify that it is very normal to want to be liked by others. However, it is important not to see this need as a goal in your interactions with others, because if you feel that you must be liked by others, you may easily engage in behaviors such as pleasing others. Liking and respecting in interpersonal relationships are closely related to maintaining appropriate boundaries. Let's get back to your specific description. It is okay that you dislike conflicts and sometimes directly agree with others' viewpoints. However, at times, bravely and confidently expressing your own opinions may earn you more respect from others. When you dare to express yourself, others will perceive you as someone with assertiveness. On the other hand, if you never dare to express your own viewpoints or different opinions, others may perceive you as easily going along with others and may consider you dispensable. This is an aspect that you may need to adjust appropriately. You have a vague feeling of not being likable. In fact, this feeling can be greatly mistaken. You may feel that others should invest more energy in you, but in reality, everyone is more concerned about their own matters. You may feel that the leader treats others slightly better than you, but you may not have seen the complete picture, after all, you can only see the communication process between you and the leader and cannot understand the communication processes between others. Your perception of good and bad is actually influenced by your subjective feelings and may not necessarily reflect the truth. Sometimes, you need to adjust your perspective on viewing issues appropriately. For example, if the leader appears stricter when you make a mistake, could it be because they have higher expectations for you and want to strictly regulate you when you make mistakes in the hope that you will do better next time? If they truly didn't care about you, they would more likely adopt a more indifferent approach towards you. As for colleagues sometimes not joking with you, it could be due to your introverted nature or the impression you give off of being more serious. It could also be because you haven't fully understood the content of their conversations, haven't expressed your opinions, or haven't integrated into their circle of communication. You can try to communicate more, exchange more, and understand more with them. Being liked is actually a very fortunate thing, and it is best to let it happen naturally. Don't force anything, don't try to please or humble yourself just to be liked.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you. Writing to you feels like talking face-to-face. Firstly, after reading your description, I think you have a clear understanding of the root cause of your problems and of yourself. Although you didn't mention anyone directly expressing dislike towards you, you have indeed felt unfriendly attitudes from people around you in your daily life and work, and you have been keeping it in your heart, believing that others don't like you. It can be seen that you are emotionally sensitive and tend to overthink. Additionally, when interacting formally with others, do you feel some underlying tension? Do you find it hard to relax while being with others? This could be a common social anxiety. Are you able to relax and show your true personality when you are with people you are familiar with and like? Actually, you are a lovely person, perhaps you just don't know how to restrain your anxiety and nervousness in a crowd. Nowadays, people's lives are very fast-paced. If you make a mistake at work, try to maintain a positive attitude, use self-deprecating humor to resolve any tension, and learn from mistakes. Problem-solving, defusing awkward situations, and gaining experience from mistakes are all part of work and life. Have a little more courage, respond to kindness with a smile, respond to negative actions with tranquility, and let stillness control motion. Secondly, objectively face your inner thoughts, find the root of the problem, face it, and resolve it in your own way. I believe you will find your own solution. Finally, I hope my suggestions can help you. When it comes to having a relaxed mindset while socializing, sometimes the first step is to relax and let go of unnecessary vigilance and blend in with others with a relaxed mindset. The ability to be humorous often stems from a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere. I believe that as you integrate into the environment, you can also free yourself and show your true nature. Learn to use self-deprecating humor to diffuse negative emotions. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. When you make a mistake, be more forgiving of yourself and learn to laugh at yourself. This way, you have an armor that others cannot penetrate. Only you can take off this armor and no monsters or demons can harm you. Don't become overly fixated on the outcome. Enjoy the process and approach things with composure. Create a plan and complete it step by step. Good results will come to you sooner or later. Reduce the tendency to compare yourself with others, and focus more on your own inner self. Don't compare your weaknesses to others' strengths, or even compare yourself too much to others. Each person is unique. Be more confident and pay more attention to your mental state. Love yourself every day! Best wishes!",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hi, questioner! I read your words carefully three times, and a serious, warm, and delicate image appeared in my mind. But at the same time, this image seems to carry a bit of shyness. Each of us is like an island, existing independently but longing for the presence of passing ships and the company of breeding birds. I think this may be the desire to be seen in our hearts and to be liked by others. Speaking of being liked by others, I would like to hear more of your description. Before that, I have a few questions for you, which I also want to ask your future self. 1) If someone is angry with you, do you feel the need to apologize immediately and think it's your fault? 2) When someone unintentionally criticizes you, do you find yourself at a loss for how to respond? 3) When someone compliments you, do you shake your head and quickly say, \"Oh, you're too kind\"? 4) When interacting with friends or colleagues, do you prioritize their feelings and neglect your own needs? If your answer is yes, that's it! Then let me accompany you in getting to know a concept together~ self-efficacy, or \"self-esteem level.\" Self-esteem level is not just about being competitive or ambitious as we usually think. It essentially represents how we see ourselves and rate ourselves. Usually, when we feel that we are not likable, our self-rating tends to be lower than the actual score. Let's take a look from three perspectives why we often feel that we are not good enough and why we worry about our interpersonal skills even with such good professional abilities. 1) Some people naturally love themselves, while others are born with a bit of doubt. In fact, a large part of this comes from the nurturing and feedback we received from our family environment during childhood. For example, if your parents are strict and have high expectations in various aspects, it may gradually lead us to form the belief that if we don't do well enough, they won't love us. Growing up with this mindset, we carry it into our work, life, and relationships, and it forms a habit of doubting ourselves repeatedly. 2) Subjective expectations from the outside world also influence our self-evaluation. For example, if the people around you, such as friends and relatives, are all engaged in business and have told you since childhood that it's better for you to do business too, they would cultivate your business skills accordingly. However, deep down, you may have a stronger passion for art and a desire for freedom and self-expression. In this conflicting upbringing environment, it also cultivates and deepens self-doubt, when in fact, they simply cannot understand your talents. 3) Do we believe in ourselves enough? For example, when we recall our childhood experiences, are there more happy moments or more sad moments, more meaningful moments or more frustrating moments? If one category dominates too much, it leads to a one-sided self-evaluation. For example, when we fail, do we blame ourselves out of habit or do we find the reasons and continue trying? These subconscious behavioral patterns also affect our objective evaluation of ourselves. If possible, with the questions I left and the review from the three perspectives, have a conversation with yourself and talk to your inner self about how you should reevaluate yourself. Finally, questioner, I wanted to say, even if our lives now don't have a sea of flowers everywhere, it may just be because spring has not arrived yet! Be patient and discover, and look forward to...",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I wish you well, and I hope that my answer can help you. Based on your description, your girlfriend has a condition that she cannot accept herself. I believe that she is currently in pain, confusion, fear, and uncertainty. She doesn't know what to do, so she chooses to avoid facing it and lacks a sense of security. She feels that you might leave her because of this, so in order to escape greater harm, she decided to bring it up first. But I believe that this is not what she truly wants. Perhaps, in a complex state of mind, she made a decision she thought could protect herself, in order to avoid your rejection and hurt from you and your family. She understands that this condition is difficult for a person to accept, and it can bring great distress to a family. By proactively bringing it up, she prevents you from hurting her and avoids being driven away or rejected by you. This is a form of an ostrich mentality, which can only prove that she is very distraught. She feels anxious, doesn't know what to do, and just wants to hide away from the world, to escape and stop thinking about this matter. I think at this stage, you should give her enough security. No matter what she says, you should firmly stand by her side. Let her know that you will always be with her, and you don't dislike her. You love her as a whole person, including her strengths and weaknesses. Please give her enough companionship and love. Give her warm embrace and meticulous care in life. I believe that someday, she will come out of her shell and walk with you towards a brighter future. I wish you happiness and joy!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Despite your cautiousness, you still feel excluded and disrespected in the workplace. This is your intuitive experience and basic understanding of the situation. Let's analyze it from the perspective of feedback on mental issues. You want to fit in and be recognized, but instead, you are being excluded or ignored. This is indeed a sad and painful thing, and it is an area where we need to adjust and improve. Seeking approval blindly will make you lose your own shine. In the workplace, colleagues or leaders are equal to you in terms of personality and it is a cooperative relationship. If you always appease and follow the rules, and agree with everything in discussions, then over time, your opinions or views will not receive the attention they deserve. Ultimately, you will be ignored. Different personalities create a colorful world. Each of us has our own unique personality, likes, and dislikes. It is precisely because of this that our world is so diverse. Therefore, having a different personality is itself a bright spot in life. You don't need to feel pessimistic, but rather give yourself more warmth and care. Finding common ground with others is the key to overcome social weaknesses. In social situations, balancing relationships requires us to have a certain level of affinity, a sense of humor, and the ability to empathize. We can reflect on our gains and losses, whether we can be more optimistic, add some humor, express our concerns, and increase our participation and initiative. Having a growth mindset enables us to do better. Self-awareness is valuable as it allows you to identify your own problems. In fact, personality is not absolute good or bad, but due to differences in innate traits, educational background, and upbringing, everyone has their own temperament. Such temperament also forms our unique charm in social situations. Efforts made afterwards can also compensate for our shortcomings. Social skills require more practice, more insights, and more summaries to make a qualitative leap. Tell yourself and have confidence, you can do better. Hope this helps.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello! Based on your description, I see an image of someone who is cautious and afraid to step into unfamiliar territory. More accurately, it's not that you \"don't dare to step into unfamiliar territory,\" but rather you retreat and avoid conflicts. It's as if you have a radar that detects conflicts in advance and then you evade them. Imagine in a normal interpersonal relationship, both parties should be on equal ground, standing side by side, and able to express their opinions. If one person suddenly reaches out to hit another person, the normal reaction for the other person might be to step back or sidestep to avoid being hit. Your psychological readiness is like anticipating the punch before it even comes and preparing to respond by retreating. This kind of psychological preparation suggests that you feel unsafe in interpersonal environments. From your description, it seems that this applies to both colleagues and superiors, and you may want to observe if this mindset exists in other aspects of your life as well. If we consider the reasons for this mindset, it may be necessary to examine past experiences for answers. Interpersonal interactions are a process, and when you are serious and slow to respond, I imagine it's difficult for you to greet your colleagues with ease and a smile. Do you think your colleagues might be thinking, \"This colleague never jokes around with us, they're cold!\" \"I wonder what they're thinking!\" \"I don't know if they have a sense of humor, so I'd better not provoke them!\" Human interaction has a momentum and is based on previous foundations. When your colleagues can easily interact with superiors on a regular basis, they have built a smoother relationship, and superiors may use jokes as a form of reminder due to the rapport established in normal circumstances. However, in your case, using jokes as a reminder may seem insincere because it does not align with the usual way of interacting. Where there are people, there are bound to be conflicts. If you worry too much about conflicts and carry a lot of baggage, it will limit yourself and make it difficult for you to live freely. Conflicts are not entirely bad. There's an old saying, \"No conflict, no understanding.\" Sometimes, your perspective can be an opportunity for others to get to know you, and this opportunity may even reverse the relationship. If you anticipate conflicts and are willing to bear the consequences, you can become even more fearless. It's good to see that you are starting to become aware of yourself and gain some understanding. It's a good start for adjustment. It's also great to see that you work diligently and are willing to take on more responsibilities. In fact, you can become a trustworthy working partner for your superiors. Sometimes, we need to loosen up, let go of our expectations and perceptions of others, and see them for who they truly are in order to build better workplace relationships. Better workplace relationships will make your career path smoother. Thank you for reading, and feel free to follow us.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 9509
 },
 {
  "question": "21-year-old female, no matter what you talk about, someone always wants to argue with you. How to change this?",
  "description": "At the beginning of interacting with others, I feel a bit introverted but kind. After getting familiar with them, I feel like being a social butterfly. But as time goes by, because sometimes I'm a bit careless and my words are often refuted or criticized, it is said that I am unreliable. Whatever I say, it seems unreliable and heartless. I feel helpless. I feel like I am in a disadvantaged position when interacting with them. How can I solve this? How can I change their perception of me?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, deception and trust, roommates and classmates.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I think the OP is a straightforward and helpful person. They may not think deeply or consider the consequences before speaking, and they don't change what they say based on others' reactions, so they often get criticized after saying just a few words. I really like the OP's personality, carefree and happy-go-lucky. I think people with this kind of personality are very likable among girls, because girls are naturally sensitive, and sometimes dealing with other girls requires being cautious: can't comment on appearances, can't comment on what they buy, can't comment on their friends. With someone like the OP around, I feel like everyone's at ease because we don't have to be so cautious. When others say you're unreliable, sometimes they mean you're illogical, you don't conform to their way of thinking, you don't say what they want to hear. Unreliable actually means \"not in agreement\" or \"not consistent.\" Because you're different from them, they think you're wrong, and then they say you're unreliable. This is caused by different ways of handling things and different perspectives on problems. They may have never tried the suggestions you provide and just dismiss them. This shows their lack of maturity, narrow-mindedness, and lack of tolerance, not that you're wrong. If you really want to fit in with them, you have to try to figure out what they think and say what they want to hear, then you'll be reliable. When they say you're unreliable, sometimes they mean your thinking is different from the majority present. If your personality is more neutral, your ideas, perspectives, and opinions will be different from most girls', and that's also \"unreliable.\" But most of the people who achieve great things possess both masculine and feminine traits. The greatest leaders need to have the courage and decisiveness of men when making decisions, as well as the meticulousness of women. If you feel like you're in a disadvantaged position when interacting with them, they are definitely not the right friends for you. Interpersonal relationships must be equal. You gradually get to know each other and become familiar based on self-disclosure. When the other person doesn't say much, you also say less; when the other person says a lot, you also say a lot. When the other person speaks deeply, you also speak deeply; when the other person speaks superficially, you also speak superficially. This is the correct way to interact. Interacting must be equal. From getting to know each other to becoming familiar, every stage should be equal. If they always make you feel like you're in a disadvantaged position, you can consider changing your circle of friends. I believe there are people around you who make you feel equal, understood, and treated sincerely! If the OP's personality is carefree, they may not be suitable to be friends with overly sensitive girls, as they can be easily seen as careless. If the OP is straightforward, they may not be suitable to be friends with girls who have overly complicated thoughts, as they often keep their thoughts to themselves, and you'll never understand why they're upset or why they're criticizing you, which can make you feel inferior and think that your interpersonal communication is the problem. Many times, it's their problem, not yours. The OP can try to be friends with people who are also straightforward and honest, and find a comfortable way for both parties. I hope my advice is helpful to the OP.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello friend, it sounds like you want to create a positive impact in the minds of others, right? If that's the case, there are many psychological principles that you can learn and utilize to help you. Given enough time and effort, you will definitely achieve this goal. Of course, if you want to expedite the process and reach your goal sooner, you can also seek the guidance and support of a psychologist to aid in your personal growth and progress.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1658
 },
 {
  "question": "Divorce harms the children, but staying in a marriage also causes suffering for oneself. Should one continue to endure or pursue a divorce and live without caring about the future?",
  "description": "Married for two years, both parents are not in the same city. I got pregnant last winter, and besides going to work, I stayed at my parents' house for three months. My husband never cared or asked about it until I was about to give birth, then he brought me back. Afterwards, both mothers came over, but my husband's mother stopped taking care of us after just three days, and my mother took care of us all the time. After a month, I returned to my parents' house. My husband once again entered the mode of not caring or asking about us. It feels like our marriage is falling apart. The other party lacks a sense of responsibility. He only contributed 1,000 yuan for the baby and hasn't spent a penny since. I want a divorce, but I am afraid it will hurt the child. If I don't divorce, I feel like I'm being mistreated. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management, prenatal and postnatal period.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! From the description in your text, it can be seen that most of the time you are independently taking on the responsibility of having and raising children, which is really tough. From pregnancy to childbirth, you have indeed endured a lot of pressure and responsibility. Have you tried to communicate with your husband during this process? From marriage to childbirth, becoming parents for the first time, you are both learning how to grow in your marriage. Perhaps in this process, you have shouldered a lot, making you feel wronged, which is a normal psychological phenomenon. When it comes to divorce, it is important to consider whether there is already a lack of harmony, deviation, or opposition in your marriage, leading to psychological conflicts for both parties. One important factor that triggers psychological conflicts is unmet needs. Marriage is a partnership formed by both parties to satisfy each other's needs, and the stability of a marriage depends on the degree of needs being met. Based on your description of the pregnancy and childbirth stages, your husband has not been able to take on too much responsibility, and during your special pregnancy and postnatal period, he has not been able to meet your emotional and child care needs, causing you to feel confused about the marriage. I suggest you first analyze your relationship with your husband, which issues are inherent in your marriage, which are conflicts caused by the specific matter of childbirth, and how is the level of communication between you two. In a marriage, it has always been about mutual giving, albeit at different levels during different stages. Therefore, you need to express your true thoughts and let your husband participate in facing the problems in your marriage together, and work on solving them. However, whatever choice you make next, do not sacrifice yourself or the child, give yourself more emotional space, ease the pressure in your marriage, and keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "From your description, it is evident that you have been the one taking care of everything regarding the child, from conception to childbirth. I can sense the emotional and physical distress you have endured without the support of your partner. His absence during the time when you needed his support and companionship the most has made you feel neglected, indifferent, and insignificant in his eyes. This has led you to doubt and question your marriage and relationship. You are unsure whether to seek a divorce, as you aspire to provide a complete home for your child, but you are also unwilling to remain in an intimate relationship where you feel ignored, undervalued, misunderstood, and unsupported. This leaves you conflicted. In response, I would like to share my perspective in hopes of providing you with some guidance and direction. First and foremost, if there is still love between you two, I encourage you to proactively communicate with him, expressing your genuine emotions and feelings during this period. Remember to solely focus on conveying your own feelings without passing judgment or blaming him for his actions. Afterwards, express your needs (such as wanting him to read storybooks to the child together, or wanting to make dumplings together on Sundays). Then, convey your hopes for his future behavior (such as wanting to see him feeding the child with a bottle). Previously, his lack of involvement may have been due to you not giving him the opportunity, not directly telling him that you needed him. He might have believed that if you needed him, you would express it. He may have thought you were capable of handling everything on your own. Many conflicts between couples arise from this lack of effective communication, and it's important for you to be aware of this. Secondly, consider whether your relationship was as indifferent as it is now before you became pregnant. Generally, women tend to unintentionally neglect their husbands (especially regarding sexual needs) due to their instinctive nature as mothers. Men, on the other hand, might interpret this neglect and rejection from their wives without realizing it. Consequently, they unknowingly start distancing themselves from their wives and children. Therefore, both men and women need to have clear awareness of this situation. During this period, wives need to consciously focus on their husbands, and husbands need to understand the motherly nature of their wives. Lastly, it is unfair to view the child as the sole bond that maintains the relationship between spouses. A child's upbringing necessitates adequate love, and the form and structure of a family are not paramount. The crucial aspect is providing the child with complete love. If parents no longer love each other, they should honestly face the reality of their lack of love, address their own emotional issues, and set a good example for the child. Even if they are no longer spouses, they can still be great parents, respecting each other and ensuring the child receives ample love from both father and mother. Additionally, even though being a mother is challenging, you should not forsake your own personal growth (such as self-image and self-improvement), allowing yourself to continue being vibrant and full of vitality.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Title owner, hello! It is very painful to be torn between continuing a marriage or sacrificing oneself, and giving up a marriage or sacrificing the children! Both being submissive and a mother, being in such a situation will make you feel as torn and agonized as you do, and facing the dilemma of marriage and children will make you feel shattered. But after making a decision, you will feel relieved and have a clear goal to move forward! Before making a decision, I would like to suggest if you can make the following preparations: 1. Communicate actively with your spouse, have a deep conversation, and clarify the following issues: Do you both truly love each other? Can both of you accept and accommodate each other's ways of expressing love from dating to marriage and childbirth? Do you both have a sense of responsibility as parents? Can you both face and accept each other's families? Do you both have a shared determination to provide a happy family life for your child? If problems arise, can you handle them without being interfered by both families? Can you firmly uphold and cherish your own little family and child? Can you tell him about the emotional pain caused by his attitude from the time you were pregnant until after giving birth? Observe his response and how he will handle and get along in the future? 2. Although making choices at critical moments in life can be painful, enduring long-term pain is worse than enduring short-term pain. Be mentally prepared before discussing with your spouse. If your spouse realizes that he has not done well in many aspects and feels guilty and remorseful for the harm caused to you, how will you negotiate your future life together? Because it is no longer just the two of you, it involves the life of a young child and the families of both parties. Even though the families of both sides are no longer in the same city, if we temporarily ignore that, how will the three of you live as a family? How can you both accept each other and create a good family life together? 3. Make a decision based on the above situation, whether to give it another try or leave decisively, you need to be strong! A person's life may be long or short, but we are always making choices every moment! But listen to the true voice in your heart and make a decision as soon as possible! Set off towards happiness! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Before solving a problem, we must first understand the problem in order to find a solution, right? So let's first analyze your current situation and see where the problem lies. \"Married for two years, and both sets of parents are not in the same city.\" How has your relationship been in these two years? Let's assess: how is the foundation of your relationship? \"Last winter, I got pregnant and stayed at my parents' house for three months, except for going to work.\" What was the reason for staying at your parents' house for three months? Did you hope that your mother would take better care of you, or did you escape back home because of problems between the two of you? \"The husband never cared or asked about it until I was about to give birth, then he took me back.\" Was his lack of concern because he did not agree to you going back to your parents' house, or because there was no longer any love between the two of you? \"Afterward, both mothers came over, but the husband's mother stopped taking care of us after only three days, and my mother took care of everything. After a month, I went back to my parents' house.\" Does this indicate that your relationship with his mother is also not good? And what was the reason for you to go back to your parents' house? Was this decision made after discussing with your husband? \"The husband resumed his pattern of not caring or asking about anything. The whole family acts like I and the child don't exist. He does not contribute financially or provide any help.\" If we only look at this behavior, your husband lacks responsibility and is not worth relying on. Is it also possible that there have been conflicts between the two of you that haven't been resolved, and he is using this way to resist? \"I now feel that our marriage is a big problem, completely falling apart. He has no sense of responsibility. He only spent a thousand yuan for our child and hasn't spent a penny since.\" I really empathize with you in this situation. Your husband's indifferent behavior at a time when you need care and love is truly unacceptable. \"I want a divorce, but I'm afraid it will be hard on the child. If I don't get a divorce, I feel like I am the one suffering.\" With your husband's current attitude, do you think that by not getting a divorce, your child won't suffer? If you were to divorce in this state, don't you think you would still be the one suffering? So, I asked you so many questions above to help you identify the problems between you and your husband. It's clear that there are problems in your relationship. But what are the problems and can they be fixed? You already have a child, so divorce won't solve all the problems, right? I'm providing you with a thinking framework to solve the problems and hoping it can help you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello questioner, facing a loveless marriage, you are considering divorce but worry about the impact on the children. This is a genuine concern for a mother. I would like to know, when you mention worries about the children's well-being, are you concerned about giving the children to the other party, fearing they won't be well taken care of? Or are you considering raising the children on your own, without the involvement of their biological father after starting a new family? I believe these are valid concerns, but they should not be the decisive factors. If you are worried that the other party may not be responsible enough and you don't want the children to suffer, then you should consider taking care of the children yourself. Whether in a newly formed family or with other children in the future, as long as you are strong enough and capable of raising the children independently, you will be able to handle the situation regardless of whom you marry. This will be your biggest test \u2013 to take on the challenge of personal growth after divorce, with your children as your motivation. The other party may not care, and it might not directly affect the children, but it is your responsibility to ensure they are not being mistreated. This is a challenge for you. There is nothing worth clinging to in this kind of marriage. If you are willing to take on the responsibility of raising the children, then use legal means to fight for your best interests. This is the choice you need to make. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP: According to the timeline, your child is still young, but you have to consider such problems. Hugs to you. Based on your description, the first question to consider is: If the reason for not getting a divorce is because you are afraid your child will suffer, then how does the father, who only paid 1000 yuan for the child's birth, take care of and spend time with the child? Can he be a qualified father in the future? In terms of the importance of family relationships, the recommended order is: self, partner, child, and family. Because only when you are happy can you have the ability to take care of others. So, for you, the first thing to solve is your unhappiness. In your description, your partner and family do not take good care of you, but you did not mention the state of your relationship with your partner before pregnancy; why your mother-in-law left after three days after giving birth is also unclear; and why your husband is not paying child support. These questions need to be seriously discussed with your partner before making a decision, as no one really knows another person, so it is important to listen to what the other person has to say. Otherwise, it may lead to a decision that you will regret. After communication, you may also need to consider some practical issues: for example, do you have the courage and ability to raise the child alone, whether your partner really has no redeeming qualities, and whether you still believe that you can find happiness for yourself. In this world, some people accompany us for a while, while others only stay for a short time. The most important thing is to live earnestly. I hope you find a way to live a happy life soon.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The man has always been indifferent and uninterested. Think about whether you and your partner had any discussions about having a child before. Was it part of the plan? Will the arrival of the child affect your current financial situation? Besides being indifferent towards the child, has he always been like this before? Try to reflect on what specific event triggered this pattern of indifference. The child is not just your responsibility, and it is indeed unfair for the man to be uninterested. You can also try to find some answers as to why he is uninterested in the child. It's understandable that you're feeling a lot of pressure on your own right now. It's best to communicate and try to discuss these issues.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. Whether the man and his family are unwilling to contribute financially or physically, or you feel they are not taking good care of you, and you don't want them to take care of you.\n2. After giving birth, you should return to your in-laws' house, so why are you staying at your parents' house?\n3. If the man and his family do not contribute financially or physically during the birth of the child, what can you expect from them in the future?\n4. Consider the pros and cons and make a decision quickly. The longer it drags on, the more detrimental it is for you, as it consumes your youth.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3172
 },
 {
  "question": "Anticipatory insomnia, feeling that one will have insomnia, and as a result, really experiencing insomnia?",
  "description": "It means feeling low and thinking that I will have insomnia, and as a result, I really cannot fall asleep until now.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, staying up late.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the question owner. Feeling down can affect certain aspects, like having trouble falling asleep, which is also related to your low mood. Nighttime is a quiet environment with very little noise, making it easier for people to engage in random thoughts. Coupled with the low mood and worries during the day, your subconscious mind believes that you cannot fall asleep, and as a result, you start thinking about things, becoming more awake the more you think. Eventually, as expected, you find yourself unable to fall asleep. Additionally, feeling down can lead to irritability and unstable emotions, preventing you from getting good sleep. For example, in the past, every time before school started, I would be so excited that I couldn't sleep, and it became a habit of insomnia before school. Therefore, every night before the start of school, I would think that I can't fall asleep, and I would toss and turn until late at night. But later, when I went to college, I didn't have as many emotions or thoughts about school, so I didn't have trouble sleeping before the start of school. Because college life doesn't have the worry of summer vacation assignments or the busy schedule after school starts. So I didn't have the subconscious thought that it's the night before school starts and I can't sleep. Therefore, your low mood itself can affect your sleep, and at the same time, your subconscious also tells you that you can't sleep. This triggers your nerves to follow your emotions, making it easier for you to be mentally active and stay awake. This is my answer, and I hope it can help you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4616
 },
 {
  "question": "I always have doubts about whether I have annoyed others and have a habit of seeking approval.",
  "description": "Whether it's in real life or chatting online, I always guess whether others find me annoying, stupid, or have negative opinions about me behind my back...I understand the reason and logic, but I don't really know what others are thinking, and it shouldn't concern me what others think of me...but I just can't control myself. Although I feel that having good relationships with others is indeed important, sometimes I feel like I'm doing things wrong, and I think that others feel the same way...it's very tiring and I lack confidence...",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, and self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Listening to your story, I would like to give you some words of encouragement! Hugs to you! Based on your story, the biggest problem seems to stem from a lack of self-confidence. It appears that you have a deep sense of inferiority. I believe this is why you are always afraid of annoying others. Building self-confidence is influenced by various factors, including upbringing and self-awareness. Certain events in life, such as negative interpersonal experiences, can also contribute to feelings of inferiority. However, since you didn't provide specific events, I don't know the source of your insecurities. Therefore, I have provided a simple analysis and suggestion based on these three points, which may be helpful to you. (1) Parenting style: Our immediate learning environment is our family. It is in this microcosm that we explore ourselves and the world around us. During this exploration, parents or other family members often serve as our supervisors, evaluating and regulating our behavior. Their love and tolerance directly influence our confidence and perseverance in exploring the world. When parents play the role of patient companions during this process, we tend to be confident, brave, persistent, and unafraid of failure in exploring the unknown. On the other hand, if parents play the role of strict critics, we become timid, insecure, weak, and afraid of failure. It is crucial to note that when we are frequently criticized, we not only refrain from exploring the external world but may also lack sufficient self-exploration. Individuals in such developmental environments tend to excessively care about others' opinions and evaluations, easily losing themselves in other people's worlds. It seems that you have encountered a similar situation, so I suggest that you communicate with your parents, share your thoughts with them, and let them understand your inner self, seeking their support. (2) Self-awareness: Each person is an independent individual from birth, not an appendage of anyone else. Every individual has their own thoughts and opinions, as well as the right to express them. This right belongs to everyone. Others have the right to say yes, and you also have the right to say no. The prerequisite is that you must understand that your opinions represent yourself, an independent individual, rather than a lost version of yourself trying to please others. Being overly concerned about others' opinions indicates a lack of comprehensive self-awareness. In this case, I recommend seeking a counselor to embark on a process of self-exploration. You need to fully understand yourself and acknowledge that you are an independent individual, not an accessory to please others. Only by establishing a complete inner self can we build healthy self-confidence. (3) Negative social experiences: If your feelings of inferiority are a result of negative social experiences (e.g., being ostracized by friends, campus violence, etc.), you can start by analyzing the incident, understanding its causes, process, and outcomes. Reflect upon whose actions caused the incident: was it your doing or someone else's? Find the reasons, implement targeted interventions, and avoid blindly blaming yourself. Objectively analyze the root causes and find effective ways to solve the problem. These are my analysis and suggestions, hoping they can be helpful to you! Keep going! Best wishes!\n",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The questioner seems to have some issues in interpersonal communication. If you care too much about what others think, you may find it difficult to express yourself freely, limiting your interpersonal relationships and causing trouble in your work and life. There are several ways to solve this. One bold approach is to do the things you are afraid of. If people say you are foolish, then you should express yourself even more in front of others. In your mind, repeat to yourself that you are willing to make a fool of yourself today. You can even intentionally participate in social activities with larger crowds. If you feel too afraid in work or study settings, engaging in leisure activities that are less relevant to your self-esteem can be beneficial. Even if people think you are silly, it doesn't matter much since you won't see them again after the activity ends. Socializing is a skill that needs constant practice and continuous interaction with others. Only then can your skills become more and more natural. When you frequently communicate with people, your sensitivity will decrease, and you will become more numb. You won't feel afraid anymore. This is also a form of desensitization therapy in behavior therapy, which involves using actual stimuli that induce fear instead of imagining them, until the originally feared situation no longer causes tension. Furthermore, interpreting things in a more rational way can help the questioner overcome fear. Others will have opinions about you, but how long will their attention on you last? If we take you as an example, do you constantly observe and speculate about others? Do you think someone is particularly silly or annoying? Aren't you always thinking about how you are and how you appear to others? Others are the same way. Everyone is most concerned about themselves and absorbed in their own matters. No one will constantly be fixated on you unless there is a possibility that they have a crush on you. Suppose someone really thinks you are silly, that you are dumb. So what? Will you lose a hair? Aren't you still yourself? Will your money decrease? You can still work, study, and do your own things without any impact. The questioner values their relationship with others too much. In fact, as long as you do not harm others, treat them with respect, and consider things from their perspective, no one will dislike you, say you're foolish, or even enjoy being around you. Why do you belittle yourself and punish yourself for something you did wrong? If someone blindly calls you foolish and annoying, it is a reflection of their low emotional intelligence. Perhaps they have also been hurt in the past, and others may have called them foolish, which is why they treat others this way. Building confidence is also crucial. Identify your strengths and advantages, and then enhance them. Gradually, you will become more confident and will no longer care so much about other people's opinions because you are well aware of your own worth and won't be swayed by others' desires.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello. I can see from your question that you are somewhat anxious about the future. From a psychological perspective, appropriate anxiety can be helpful for personal growth. In addition, there is a common misconception in psychology: assuming that others think the same as us. We often tend to be self-centered and think that our thoughts are the focal point of others, when in fact, everyone has different priorities. Just because someone else sees things differently does not necessarily mean that your perspective is wrong. How can you overcome this emotional state? I hope the following suggestions can help you: 1) Accept this emotion. Each of us is a unique individual, so be kind to yourself. 2) Gradually expose yourself to your fears in a balanced way, and stop attacking yourself internally. Experience this feeling and you will gradually realize that it is not as scary as you think. You have the ability to overcome this fear. 3) Practice this exercise: whenever this situation arises, promptly tell yourself to do something else to shift your thoughts, such as reading a favorite book, chatting with a friend, or doing household chores, etc. Persistence will yield unexpected results. As for getting along with your boss: if you are not completely sure about something at work, it is better to do more and say less. Bosses generally prefer subordinates who are hardworking and results-oriented. Pay attention to your boss's work style, habits, etc. Show your strengths to your boss at the right time, so that they can see your capabilities. The world loves you!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "First of all, hug the person who asked the question. The idea of wanting to please others and fearing to cause trouble is actually a behavior rooted in the fear of not being recognized. Because of this fear, you strive to meet the needs of others as much as possible. I think you must be quite likable in life because everyone likes being pleased. So even with this kind of personality, there is a positive side to it, and you will be welcomed by others. But on the other hand, as for your own feelings, if you feel uncomfortable, it means you don't want to please others in this way and want to live as your authentic self. This kind of thinking is actually very good because you cannot please everyone in the world. No matter what you do, there will always be people who like you and people who don't. So instead of pleasing others, it's better to please yourself first. When you are happy, others will also be happy, and you can come up with solutions that make both yourself and others happy. If someone is a true friend, they won't feel bothered by you or see you as an outsider when you ask for help or express your thoughts. Instead, your relationship will become closer. I hope you can live as your true self more and more with each passing day. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, your situation suggests an obsession attachment type. It is very likely that your parents' inconsistent attitudes and unpredictable disciplinary methods in your original family or in previous profound relationships have had an impact. This type often suddenly feels that the other person wants to leave them, leading to a sudden feeling that the relationship is about to collapse. Then, they seek affirmation from the other person, which is what you described as seeking validation from others. One solution to this insecure type, which I believe has deeply troubled you, is to find a reliable friend and establish an intimate relationship. Support each other and find comfort in each other. This will help alleviate your feelings of insecurity. Best wishes! Feel free to message me if you think it would be helpful to have a conversation.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "To the insecure you: What you described is the constant worry about not being good enough, not being believed in, or being disliked during interpersonal interactions. It means you care too much about others' opinions and thoughts, which eventually leads to a people-pleasing personality. Try to think, in your growth process, who would find you annoying, think you're silly, or believe you're not good? Why did your lack of confidence and insecurities develop? Find the reasons and think about how to change in interpersonal interactions. You don't have to deliberately please or pretend, just be your true self. Express how you truly feel and what you think. You can follow me and consult with me. The world loves you, and so do I!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "This is a manifestation of inferiority, the more inferior a person feels, the more habitually they seek to please others. Because they feel that they have no value, they hope to win recognition from others and see their own value through pleasing others. A truly outstanding person doesn't need others' affirmation to know their own worth, while an inferior person wishes to find out who they are through fitting in or participating in group discussions, but this only makes it harder for them to see themselves clearly. Learning to find our own worth is the most important thing. For someone who is inferior, actively affirming and guiding their own worth, establishing their own importance, often leads to a better future. Secondly, the original poster can try to communicate more with others, through conversations with others, to reacquaint themselves and broaden their horizons. We must understand that everyone has their own value, even if we feel inferior, we still can't hide our value. The best way to deal with inferiority is always to find our own tone, step by step, train ourselves, and see our inner strength grow stronger and stronger, which will gradually establish our self-confidence.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After reading your question, what I want to say is, don't worry, it's normal to speculate about negative reactions from others. Our brains are very sensitive to negative signals and danger signals due to the needs of evolution. In ancient times, it was through this sensitivity that humans were able to survive and become the wisest species on Earth today. The negative speculation about others' reactions in your brain is actually helping you, trying to prevent you from doing things that could harm your relationships. However, because of this characteristic of the brain, sometimes we may have excessive defense against potential risks, leading to excessive anxiety and fear that tires our minds. But it's okay, because as long as we understand how the brain works, we can consciously increase positive internal dialogues to help ourselves analyze more objectively the true situation when we communicate with others, and make the most appropriate response. For example, when you're unsure if you said or did something wrong, before you start worrying that someone is upset, you can try thinking like this: what positive impact did your words or actions have? How did you perform well, like speaking politely and showing respect for others' opinions, and so on. Try using these two points to refute the voice in your head that blames you for saying or doing something wrong. Through these three steps, you can have a more accurate understanding of the conversation that just happened and avoid blaming yourself blindly. The reason why you can't control yourself from speculating negative opinions from others is that your developed brain is still like a wild horse that hasn't been tamed. So if we want to tame it, we need to make its thinking more balanced. Since the brain is accustomed to collecting negative information and helping you determine if you are in danger, we should develop another habit for it, which is to also collect positive and optimistic information, consider possible good outcomes, and analyze both positive and negative information to assess if you are truly bothering people. Trust me, after you try these three steps, you will find that in most cases, you are not disliked by others. It's effective through personal testing! And try to continue practicing these three steps, you will truly understand that being disliked doesn't matter, and other people's thoughts cannot affect your own self-awareness. I hope my answer is helpful to you.",
    "has_label": false,
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 22132
 },
 {
  "question": "I seem to have experienced workplace bullying while working part-time during my graduate summer break.",
  "description": "I am a graduate student who is working part-time during the summer. There are three bosses in the company I work for, and one of them always criticizes me, saying that I am not competent in anything. When they need my expertise, they praise my major and the university I graduated from (which is not well-known nationwide since it is a local graduate school). However, during meals, they often mock me, saying that my school is trash and that my graduate degree is useless. They judge me without understanding the situation and frequently assign me unpleasant tasks. I don't know how to handle this. The other bosses are kind to me and believe that I have a significant impact.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, colleagues.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Firstly, you are a working graduate student who is able to work during the summer break. This shows that you are someone who is brave enough to enter society. The transition from being a student to entering society requires adaptation. In social life, whether it is in any workplace, you may encounter people who appreciate you, as well as those who do not appreciate you. Your boss belongs to the latter. In general, we cannot make everyone like us. I also noticed from your description that you are unhappy. But what kind of person are we? Part of it comes from others' evaluation, but more importantly, it comes from our own evaluation. If others' evaluation is correct, we can choose to accept it; if it is wrong, I can completely ignore it. I wish you success in your future work and studies, and the ability to bravely face any setbacks you may encounter.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14732
 },
 {
  "question": "What to do when my biological mother blocks and deletes me on WeChat, causing repeated mental and moral torment?",
  "description": "My mom's friend came to visit, and during dinner her child complained about their parents' controlling nature, which made them feel uncomfortable. I tried to comfort them by saying that all parents can be like that, and it doesn't mean they have bad intentions. It's important to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. My mom got angry and brought up an old incident from my childhood (where she said a few things to me, and I responded, \"Then I'll poison you\"). My mom kept asking me why I said that, and I explained that I was young and didn't know any better. She called me uneducated and shameless, asking why I think I have the right to talk about reasoning with others. Under her provocative words, I lost control and said that I've been struggling with depression since high school and had thoughts of jumping off a building (which is true but I've never mentioned it before). She said she has taken care of me and provided me with good food and drink, so why should I be depressed and want to die. We didn't argue anymore after that. Later, my mom kept telling her friend all the bad things about me. I went to her to comfort her, but she ignored me. She deleted me on WeChat that night, and the next day when I sent her a verification message to express my concern, she directly blocked and deleted me. Now I feel very anxious. On one hand, I reflect on whether I am at fault and whether I should apologize and comfort my mom. On the other hand, every time we have a conflict, she immediately blocks and deletes me. I tried to appease her, but I feel like if she hadn't insisted on bringing up the old incident, I wouldn't have lost control. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP, based on your description, it seems like you're going through a tough and depressing time. I want to send you a warm hug and offer you strength and support. From what you've described, your mother seems to have unstable emotions and an immature personality, and it's possible that she has borderline personality traits. The two failed marriages of your mother have already caused you a lot of trauma. It's even worse when she vents her resentment towards your father uncontrollably and directs it towards you. This situation can make you feel more suppressed and you have to be cautious since you can't express your legitimate emotions to your parents like a child would. Instead, you have to bear a lot of emotions that you shouldn't have to deal with. It's especially difficult for you to navigate this relationship! Regarding the specific incident, your words and actions trying to console the little child were not problematic at all. However, when provoked by her hurtful words, you lost control of your emotions and mentioned that you've been feeling depressed since high school and have contemplated jumping off a building. This indicates that your emotions are unstable after long-term suppression. It's truly inappropriate for your mother to repeatedly block you on WeChat, which goes against her role as a mother. Here's my advice: your mother actually needs psychological counseling herself, but she may lack the motivation to seek help. Therefore, you're the one suffering more in this relationship. Since you've been in this unhealthy dynamic for a long time and might have to endure it for even longer, I suggest seeking help from the school's counseling psychologist for emotional guidance, and to gain more strength and support. The counseling services provided by schools are free and they can definitely offer you some assistance.",
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      "start": 160,
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      "start": 350,
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      "type": "Direct Guidance"
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the topic of your question brings emotional repression and torture. On the one hand, it is because the other person is your mother and has nurtured you. On the other hand, as a daughter, you have always had to carefully consider your mother's feelings just like a mother would. This is probably the point of conflict in your heart, right? Actually, before I saw the additional background information you provided, I was guessing whether you came from a single-parent family, and it turns out I was right. (You should also be a girl, studying psychology, right? Hahaha) Role confusion caused by the infidelity of the father has caused significant trauma to the mother. From your description, it seems that you act as a \"venting tube.\" In a family, there must be both recognition and disputes between spouses, and their consumer ideas, life perspectives, and values will continuously blend and grow in these interactions. However, spouses are in an equal position, but due to the absence of the father's position, the mother treats you as her role. You should take care of my feelings like a husband and carry out my requests and ideologies. As a child, you have taken on two roles, husband and child. This creates an unequal communication pattern of \"upward communication to downward communication.\" The mother is in a high position giving commands, while you are in a humble position of respect and obedience. Recognize the current mode of interaction You and your mother's current mode of interaction is temporarily stable to a great extent due to your tolerance and repression. So, if one day you have to bear more external pressure or establish your own family, can this relationship continue and transition smoothly? In other words, this is not a healthy attachment relationship. You have taken on roles and responsibilities that you shouldn't have and deprived your mother of opportunities for self-growth. However, this attachment relationship has survived for more than ten or twenty years and cannot be changed with a simple question and answer or one effective communication with your mother. The most unfair thing in the world is: I see the bad side of my mother, but I have to feel guilty about it. You think your mother has a borderline personality, but it seems that it is limited to her dissatisfaction and emotions directed towards you. So what I'm more worried about is whether you will eventually develop into a people-pleasing personality. Under the pressure of moral manipulation, you unconsciously blame yourself for your mother's selfishness, thinking that it is because you are not good enough that she ignores you or deletes you from WeChat. In fact, to some extent, she is throwing a tantrum at you. Would you choose to continue to indulge a child who always throws tantrums? Pleasing has not made you feel relaxed, but rather has led to blurred boundaries in your relationship. The hatred directed towards your mother has turned into a sense of guilt; the hatred that cannot be directed towards your mother has turned into self-loathing. (This quote is from WeChat public account: Miss Mango).",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I can feel that you are someone who cares a lot about your mother's feelings, and I understand how you are feeling right now. Parent-child relationships are also a type of interpersonal relationship, which is two-sided. Any one-sided effort and sacrifice are meaningless. So actually, we can focus on the topic of \"how to manage interpersonal relationships\" rather than discussing who is right or wrong in this matter. The statement \"She said she would serve you good food and drinks, why would she feel depressed and want to die?\" is completely unfounded. Besides biological needs, humans also have \"human nature,\" which includes various emotional needs. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we know that humans not only have material needs but also have safety needs, respect needs, social needs, and self-actualization needs. At a certain stage of development, the absence of any need will lead to negative emotions. Therefore, there are certain issues with the way your mother thinks. However, it seems that you also have some traits of your mother. From your description, it can be seen that you do not think you have done anything wrong. You believe that your mother's anger is too sensitive, holding grudges or even being \"unreasonable.\" We are not discussing whether your words are appropriate, purely from an objective factual perspective, these words did indeed harm and upset your mother, right? \"If it weren't for her bringing up old issues and provoking me, I wouldn't have lost control of my emotions this time.\" In dealing with relationship issues with your mother, we cannot use this kind of logic. It is a circular argument that will never find a way out since your mother can also say that she brought up old issues because you provoked her, right? So why not try a different perspective on the problem? Your mother blocked you because she felt offended, right? If you care about your mother's feelings and want to reconcile with her, should you express your attitude towards this matter to your mother, rather than insisting on \"if it weren't for her bringing up old issues, I wouldn't have lost control of my emotions\"? \"On the other hand, every time there is a dispute, she blocks and deletes me first, and I take the initiative to appease her.\" Everyone has different ways of expressing their emotions, and this is just one way your mother expresses herself. Regardless of whether it is appropriate or seems too childish according to universal values, it does not mean that she really wants to sever ties with you, right? I think you are great, being able to take the initiative to make concessions and accommodate your mother in the parent-child relationship. But some things cannot be rushed. If you have hurt the other person, then you may have to accept the punishment they give you, which may be a period of cold war or other behaviors. After all, no one can force the other person to forgive them. If your personal balance is nearing its limit, you don't need to be too hard on yourself because everyone's personal balance may be different. I wish you a happy life!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After reading your question, I want to say that you are an amazing child! In front of your mom, you act like an adult, and in front of you, your mom acts like a child. Your mom is experiencing a lot of emotions in front of you, probably regressing to the feelings she had as a child. What she is perceiving from your attitude is likely what she experienced from her own parents when she was young. Her attitude towards you may be similar to how her parents treated her. Although you have moments of emotional instability, your mom does not seem to realize her own problems. Therefore, don't overly accommodate your mom in your role as a child, leave some space for her to reflect on her own psychology. Your mom also needs to grow and transition from being a regressed child to embracing the role of a mom. Now, let's analyze the specific events you mentioned: 1. When my mom's friend came to visit, during dinner their child complained about their parents being too controlling and it made them feel uncomfortable. I took the initiative to comfort them and said that since they are all parents, they shouldn't take it to heart, and it's good as long as they have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. Your position is very objective. You consider the perspective of the parents and also allow the child to develop their ability to discern right from wrong. Most parents would be very pleased to hear your words and think that their child can view problems from a dialectical perspective, so they don't need to worry about their child fixating on problems in the future. 2. My mom exploded and brought up an old matter (something from when I was young, I vaguely remember my mom scolding me, and I replied, \"Then I'll poison you\"). Then my mom repeatedly asked me why I said those words, and I explained that I was young and didn't know any better (this matter has been brought up repeatedly before and I apologized and comforted her repeatedly). She said I have no manners and no shame, why would I lecture others. You did not fixate on the issue, but your mom did. She brought up something from your childhood. A child's words are uninhibited, and what they think and say in that moment only represents that moment. The reason why your mom doesn't see it that way is because she perceives hostility, which may be based on her accumulated past experiences. She may feel that people in her life have not been friendly towards her, which is why she becomes so sensitive when her not-so-little child says something like that. 3. Under her provoking words, I lost control of my emotions and mentioned that I have been depressed since high school and wanted to jump off a building (it is true, but I have never mentioned it to her before). She said that she would serve me well by providing good food and drinks, and why should I be depressed and want to die. It is quite admirable that you think about how to handle both your mom's emotional pressure and her emotional experiences. Your mom did not reflect on why you would be depressed nor did she try to understand it. Instead, she thinks that providing you with good food and drinks is enough. Then what about maternal love? How important is it? If only your mom had the same level of understanding as you, she wouldn't say things like that. Ignorance can be forgiven, so forgive her for saying that. 4. There was no more arguing afterwards. Later, my mom kept telling her friend all the bad things about me, and I took the initiative to go comfort her a few times, but she ignored me. That night, she deleted me on WeChat, and the next day, I sent a verification message to express my concern, but she directly blocked and deleted me. When my mom tells her friend that you are no good in various ways, it may reflect her true feelings. She needs someone to vent to. However, your own dignity and feelings are also important. She expressed her anger towards you by deleting you on WeChat, refusing to accept your kindness. This is your mom regressing to a child-like state and treating you with behaviors that only children would have. If you want to feel better, treat both your mom and yourself as children. Right now, or always, you are two children arguing and competing with each other. 5. Now I feel very anxious inside. On one hand, I reflect on myself and wonder if I am in the wrong, and I should apologize and comfort my mom again. On the other hand, I feel that every time we argue, she will delete me first. If it wasn't for her insisting on bringing up the past issue and provoking me, I wouldn't have lost control of my emotions. What should I do? Let's put right or wrong aside for now and focus on the trauma. Both you and your mom had trauma in the process of growing up. Your mom's trauma comes from her parents, and she passed on that trauma to you. From the perspective of respecting seniority and juniority, apologizing and comforting your mom is appropriate. However, from the perspective of psychological growth, your mom treats you as her parent and wants to be comforted by a parent, which is her psychological desire. But you are not her parent, you are her child. The love from children to a parent is different from the love a parent should give. If children constantly accommodate their parents, they will turn their parents into children and themselves into adults. This is not conducive to the psychological growth of both parents and children. So, you have apologized and comforted her, that's enough. Don't keep pushing, let her block you for a while. Like I mentioned at the beginning, leave some space for her to reflect and realize on her own. When she figures it out one day, she will add you back on her own. Let her love flow towards you, that is the right direction for family progress! Wishing you happiness!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you. Sending you hugs. Fortunately, you have self-awareness and have grown. You are even acting as a caregiver in your relationship with your mother. Here are some small suggestions that may be helpful to you. [1] First, clarify what issues you need to resolve and let go of anxiety. In your long-term interaction with your mother, you may have made many compromises. You often see things from your mother's perspective and show tolerance towards her. However, when you cannot maintain your own boundaries, your mother may also infringe upon you. So, establish separation from your mother. Your mother's emotions are her own problems, and you don't need to take them to heart. Your well-being does not depend on your mother's evaluation. Let go of your anxieties; your mother is an adult. She can handle her relationships with others well, and with effort, she can also have a good relationship with you. You don't have to blindly comply with her. All relationships are interactive. How others treat you is also what you have taught them. At this point, you have taken on the role of your mother, and she seems more like a child in front of you, being wilful. Your roles and your mother's are a bit confused, and you often have to take care of her emotions. Your mother has her life, and you have yours. You don't have to bear the burden of your mother's need for growth entirely on yourself. [2] Let go of the past. When you are uncomfortable mentally, ask yourself what triggers such strong emotions. It must be triggering your childhood wounds. Each time you recall them, try to heal yourself. Don't let past unhappiness impact your current life anymore. When you no longer hold onto those grievances, your emotions will become more stable. The past cannot be changed, so taking good care of yourself is more important than taking care of your mother's emotions. [3] Take a moment to calm down and find a way to communicate. After confirming that your mother doesn't have major emotional issues, you can suggest taking a moment to calm down. This is not being disrespectful. Only when you take care of yourself can you truly care for her. Also, set boundaries, at least in your mind, so that your mother's words no longer hurt you. You have grown up, and your mother needs to grow as well. You should not fulfill all her unmet wishes for her. In emotional situations, we often say things that go too far. Don't take it too seriously. Moving forward, you can learn more communication methods, such as nonviolent communication. Only state the facts, without any judgment, express your feelings, and then make your needs and requests known. It's challenging but very effective. For example, you can say to your mother, \"It hurt me when you blocked me on WeChat. I want to have a harmonious mother-daughter relationship with you. I hope that in the future, you can communicate your thoughts directly to me.\" Finally, I wish you the best in handling your relationship with your mother and finding happiness.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear OP, hugs to you. It's tough for you to handle your mother's unstable emotions. Being blocked and deleted by your own mother on WeChat is something that very few people would experience. Usually, mothers are the ones who play the role of understanding adults, and only children would use the impulsive method of blocking on WeChat to vent their emotions. It seems like your roles have reversed. While other people's children complain about their parents, you proactively comfort them; when your mother says you have no manners, you repeatedly apologize and console her; when your mother complains about your shortcomings to others, you proactively comfort her; when your mother deletes you on WeChat, you proactively re-add her to show your concern. Your actions are very tolerant and mature. But who isn't still a child inside? Your inner child has never been satisfied and you have suppressed your own needs to fulfill your mother's emotional needs. When you mentioned that you were once depressed and wanted to die, your mother was not the first to show concern. She was surprised that she didn't notice it back then and denied your emotions. The words \"no manners, shameless\" are already insults. I feel very sorry for you, but you must also see the responsibility of your mother in your relationship. It's not solely your responsibility. Relationships are driven by both sides. \"Repeatedly being tormented mentally\" is not the first time there has been a dispute. It will gradually form a cycle: mother complains - you apologize - relationship improves - mother complains again. Blocking and complaining have become a way for her to vent her emotions, regardless of whether or not it harms you. You need to break this cycle, allow yourself to express your needs and emotions to your mother, break free from this cycle, distance yourself from mental torment, and firmly respect your own feelings. I hope your relationship with your mother can become healthy. Love, C.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear friend: Hugs to you. It must be really tough for you to be blocked by your biological mother for the first time. Living under the same roof, you must feel very uncomfortable. Being blocked on WeChat and feeling troubled by it makes you feel abandoned and lonely. Your emotions are being controlled by your mother, and without her, you can't be mentally independent. It's because you rely too much on her that she can manipulate your emotions. To change this vicious cycle, you can only rely on yourself. [First], set a boundary with your mother's emotions and stop taking responsibility for her emotions. Your emotions belong to you and it's your concern; on the other hand, your mother's anger and rejection are hers to deal with. Each individual is only responsible for their own emotions. [Second], find yourself. 1. You are already worthy of love, so you don't need to please her. You are inherently pure, bright, complete, and precious. You are already love, and you can be independent. You don't need to overly depend on her. 2. Acknowledge yourself. You need to rediscover yourself and see your own strengths. In fact, you have value and strength. 3. Trust your own power. Believe that you are worthy of love and cherish, and believe that you are the source of love. [Third], hold onto your beliefs. Your mother blocking you is a childish reaction of cutting off relationships too easily. To change this way of interacting, you need to stay firm and not fear her blocking or abandonment. The reason she does this is to manipulate you using your fear. The more you depend on her and indulge her, the worse it will get. Therefore, you need to stay strong. [Fourth], establish an equal relationship with your mother. Once everyone's emotions stabilize and the relationship is restored, find an opportunity to have a calm and mature conversation with your mother and persuade her to communicate with you in a healthier way. First, you need to be strong yourself, then independent, self-loving, and resistant to manipulation, in order to establish an equal relationship for communication. It's alright, I love you and I am satisfied with you! Your friend, Audrey.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I'm going to try to answer your question. You mentioned that she said I'm uncultured and shameless, and when someone else tries to reason with me, I suddenly feel a bit emotionally out of control. I think in this context, I experienced a form of emotional resonance, which is a deep sense of empathy. Words like \"shameless,\" when spoken by an emotionally out-of-control mother, are devastating to our self-esteem and our desire to be close to our mother. Your feelings made me want to come closer to you and hug you. I'm going to attempt to explain this from the perspective of mother-infant relations: in our early life, our mother plays the role of a \"container,\" accepting our attacks and instinctual desires for intimacy while providing emotional support and containment for our anxieties and fears. At that time, our mother took care of us wholeheartedly, but because we hadn't yet developed a more harmonious moral level to provide \"gentle\" feedback to our mother, the words \"I'll poison you\" deeply wounded her self-esteem, which she then suppressed into her subconscious as the caregiver role demanded. Now that you're an adult, your mother may believe that your personality has reached a level where it can withstand the repressed aggression in her subconscious, but she may have forgotten that the feeling of being hurt should be repaired and healed in a timely manner. So at this time, we may need to discuss this repressed aggression with our mother, expressing anger in the process, rather than expressing anger itself. From the perspective of attachment development stages, we may need to become aware of our own early infant attachment patterns to determine which type we belong to. When she deleted me from WeChat that night and I sent a verification message expressing concern the next day, only to be blocked and deleted, it's causing a lot of anxiety within me. On one hand, I'm reflecting on whether I did something wrong and whether I should apologize and comfort my own mother. Here, I seem to see a little girl who was constantly abandoned by her mother when she was little, terrified and anxious in the corner. When her mother came back, her heart was filled with contradictions. She wanted to be close to her mother, but was rejected. I'm not sure if this is an experience you've had, but this pattern of ambivalent attachment continues in the mother-daughter relationship. I think this attachment pattern can be discussed and explored with your teacher or counselor to find an appropriate way to repair this attachment relationship. From the perspective of self-integration, you can try to integrate the inner child. The anxious child, the people-pleasing child, the loving child, the guilty child, etc. Take a look at the images of these children and see what kind of image can allow you to face your mother freely. For example, create an image that can express aggression and rejection, allowing her to love you with her trauma and incompleteness. I hope you'll be better. I hope this helps. Thank you for allowing me to be here for you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Your mother may feel that you have a grudge against her. The OP said, \"My mom's friend came to visit. During dinner, their child complained about their parents' controlling behavior, saying they felt miserable. I comforted them and tried to convey that all parents have their flaws. It doesn't mean any harm, and it's important to have the ability to discern right from wrong. But my mom exploded. It might be because of the last sentence, 'It's good to have the ability to discern right from wrong.' This sentence implies that you have independent thinking and judgment, and that made her anxious. Apparently, she doesn't want you to be like that and is afraid that you will remember her shortcomings and treat her badly in the future. This sentence triggered her insecurity, leading to her defense mechanism of getting angry, upset, and displaying strong emotions to protect herself. We need to understand that behind anger and frustration, there are often softer emotions, such as sadness and feeling lost. These are her inner vulnerability, parts that she doesn't want others to see. So, she tends to express dissatisfaction by getting angry. At a deeper level, she feels that she hasn't been seen, respected, supported, loved, or acknowledged. In this world, nobody wants to deliberately cause trouble or make others angry. If you realize that everyone interprets the world from their own perspective, and that every outburst of anger or frustration is a cry for love, it becomes easier to understand others. Understanding this, the OP can talk more to their mother about the things she does well for them. But, don't intentionally try to please her. Let her understand that she is good to you, and that you appreciate her. Emphasize this point, so that your mom can see how she is valued in your heart. This way, her sense of security will be strengthened, and her emotions won't easily flare up.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: People say that sometimes mothers and daughters are like \"enemies.\" This is a very \"entangled\" mother-daughter relationship, where they hurt each other, worry about each other, and get tangled up with each other. The mother's emotions are unstable, and naturally the child will also be unstable as they grow up. It's a painful love-hate relationship! I don't know how old you are, but it seems like you don't live in the same place, right? If you were in the same place, even if you blocked each other on WeChat, you could still talk face-to-face. Generally, mothers wouldn't really get angry, unless their mental state is not healthy. Analyzing the problem: 1. Your mom's friend came to visit, and at dinner, their child complained that their parents were too controlling and it made them uncomfortable. You tried to comfort them by saying that all parents are like that and not to take it to heart, it's important to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. Then your mom exploded and brought up an old incident (something you said when you were younger, along the lines of: \"Then I'll poison you\"). (In theory, you had good intentions and there was nothing wrong with what you said. But I am wondering, could your mom's explosion be related to your attitude when you said it? For example, did she feel that you, as children, were saying that parents don't have the ability to distinguish right from wrong? It seems like she was hurt at the time, and still remembers it, right? But you also feel wronged because you were just a child back then.) 2. Then your mom repeatedly asked why you said that, and you said that you didn't know any better when you were young (this incident has been brought up repeatedly, and you have repeatedly apologized and comforted her). She said you were disrespectful and had no integrity, why did you feel the need to preach to others? Under her provoking words, you lost control and said that you had been depressed since high school and wanted to jump off a building (this is true, but you never mentioned it before). She said that she served you good food and drinks, so why were you depressed and wanting to die? (Clearly, your mom cannot understand you, she doesn't have that ability. It seems like she can't even handle her own emotions, and she has also influenced your emotional state. I suggest she needs to see a psychologist, and you also need counseling. ) 3. There was no argument afterwards, but later your mom kept telling her friend all the things that are not good about you. You went up and comforted her, but she ignored you. That night she deleted you on WeChat and the next day you sent a verification message expressing concern, but she directly blocked and deleted you. Now you feel very anxious. On one hand, you reflect on whether you are at fault and should apologize and comfort your mom again. (Both of you have wounds, and even in apologizing and making amends, you will hurt each other. It might be better to calm down for now. Let everyone stabilize their emotions. Parents nowadays are also easily anxious, and the child is also standing on the shoulders of an anxious giant. It's not easy for you both. There are social and familial factors at play here. Perhaps your mom feels extremely hurt by what you said. I really don't know who to talk to about this. Maybe this is a way to release, if your emotions are okay, try to understand her, because after all, you are her flesh and blood.) 4. On the other hand, you feel that every time there is an argument, she always blocks and deletes you first. You try to comfort her, but this time you feel like if she hadn't brought up the old incident and pushed you, you wouldn't have lost control of your emotions. What should you do? (It seems like this has happened more than once. Would you mind not apologizing right away? If the apology is too casual, it won't have any meaning. You should adjust your emotional state first, it would be best if you can talk to a counselor and stabilize yourself. Then slowly communicate with your mom. I don't know what happened to her before, but she must have been hurt, not necessarily by you, it could be related to her own family background. So, focus on your own growth first, and then gradually help her, this order will be better.) Closing: Wishing you happiness and joy! Wishing you and your mother love each other and not hurt each other! If you have any confusion, you can private message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 8764
 },
 {
  "question": "Want to stick to morning exercise, always interrupted by various things, how to persist?",
  "description": "Every time I make up my mind to run or exercise in the morning, I always end up stopping after a few days and not doing it for one or two months. It's really frustrating. How can I stay motivated and stick to my routine?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, control, escape, disorder.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I am a level 2 mental health counselor. Your question is about how to develop the habit of exercising in the morning. You mentioned that you can only keep up with it for a few days before stopping for a month or two, but you really want to develop this habit. It seems contradictory. Before giving you suggestions, I would like to ask you a question. Since ancient times, humans and animals have been inclined to repeat and strengthen behaviors that benefit us while reducing or eliminating behaviors that deplete us in order to ensure survival. Do you agree with this? If you agree, then we can proceed. What are the benefits for you if you develop the habit of exercising in the morning? You might tell me that it is a good habit, it gives you energy throughout the day, helps with weight loss, and much more. Then I will ask you, what are you giving up in order to maintain this habit? You might say, giving up sleeping time, giving up... maybe just that. Then I will tell you a principle, which is that we would rather give up $10 tomorrow and choose $1 today. When facing the pros and cons of morning exercise, an extra half an hour of sleep is an immediate benefit, while weight loss, daily energy, and a healthy body are all distant and intangible. Therefore, we tend to choose the immediate benefit of sleeping for an extra half an hour. Okay, now that we understand this principle, how can we help ourselves? 1. Enhance the benefits of exercising in the morning. For example, invite a friend to exercise together. Having a companion increases the likelihood of keeping up with the habit by more than 60%. For instance, reward yourself after exercising for 5 days, and set milestones for rewards every 10 days. Note: Within your financial means, of course. 2. Compensate for the losses. Morning exercise essentially means sacrificing half an hour of sleep, so go to bed half an hour earlier each day. Or find other ways to compensate for what you feel you're missing out on. 3. Just take action without overthinking the gains and losses. Just do it, exercise in the morning every day, without any further contemplation. I hope these suggestions will be helpful for you. If you need further communication, please feel free to contact me.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4014
 },
 {
  "question": "25-year-old female, I have been suffering for many years. Do I really like boys or girls?",
  "description": "Hello teachers, I am a 25-year-old female. When I was young, I experienced campus violence, mainly verbal abuse. I am taller and have a more masculine appearance, so I was often teased by some boys. However, I still have emotional needs, so I turned to girls for companionship. Since high school, I have continuously had crushes on girls. But to this day, I feel like I lack love and crave it, so I am constantly searching for it. I haven't had a formal and long-lasting romantic relationship, only a few short ones that either didn't work out in my opinion or in the other person's opinion. What pains me is that I always feel a barrier when it comes to boys. It's like betraying the part of me that likes girls when I say I like boys. There may be initial excitement when I meet a boy, but it doesn't last. I feel like I don't like boys. With girls, I can have a sustained infatuation, but it doesn't feel like love, and that's strange. Everyone else is in relationships, and I don't know whether I should pursue boys or girls, and I can't even feel a crush on anyone. Please help me understand what's wrong with me. Thank you.",
  "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. There are many puzzles in your question that make people very curious about your growth, so I will try to answer them. Firstly, in the title where you ask, \"Do I really like boys or girls?\" is a question about your gender identity. As you said, you are taller and have a more masculine appearance, so it seems that you do not identify yourself as \"female\" outwardly. Let me guess, do you have some obstacles in terms of makeup, acting cute, hobbies, and behavior that are typically associated with girls? Because you worry that if you look like this and act cute like a cutie, like a \"pure\" girl, will it be disgusting? If that's the case, maybe your appearance is hindering you from growing into an ordinary girl, and you also care a lot about \"boys mocking\" you. Secondly, there are some unclear information that may be the key to finding the source of your preferences. For example, you mentioned that you have emotional needs and turn to girls to fulfill them. What are you seeking from them? Are you fascinated by the feminine qualities of girls and in need of their femininity, care, and attentiveness? Then what you are seeking may be a maternal side, in other words, perhaps you want to be cared for like a mother; if what you are seeking is girls treating you like a male, acting helpless around you, and enjoying your protection, that's different, then what you are seeking is their recognition of your paternal side. For example, you said, \"I feel like I lack love and yearn for it,\" here it can be determined that you want parental love, definitely not a sexual love. Given that your gender identity has not yet been determined, it's even more unlikely to be \"heterosexual love,\" so it can only come from the love of parents. But do you need your father or mother more? This relates to your growing experiences, which we haven't discussed yet. Thirdly, there is an interesting suspicion. You say, \"It seems like I'm betraying the part of me that likes girls if I like boys.\" I feel that there seem to be two versions of you, one that likes boys, and one that likes girls. If I assume that you would only like boys if you become a complete girl, it seems that there is also a worry preventing you from growing into a girl. You need to take a look at what exactly the part of you that likes girls, which you feel you need to \"betray,\" really is. Lastly, let's talk about your statement, \"Girls can make my heart flutter continuously, but I don't think that's love.\" Indeed, you haven't received enough love from your parents, so in the future, in a romantic relationship, what you will seek is also the love of parents, not mature sexual love. The attraction, intimacy, and commitment between adults are what constitute love. So, this kind of fluttering feeling you have towards girls may still be related to your parents, and maybe even your desire to have \"feminine qualities.\" What do you think? So, at this stage, it is important for you to understand yourself, your gender identity, as you are already 25 years old and will soon have to face issues such as future relationships and starting a family. If you get stuck here and can't figure out who, or even what gender of person you want to be with, it will bring you a great deal of pressure. Therefore, considering your future development, it is better to seek a psychologist for long-term sexual and psychological counseling, which can help you determine yourself.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15285
 },
 {
  "question": "High school student, my state has been declining day after day, and I have become extremely vulnerable.",
  "description": "After entering a prestigious high school, my grades were initially good. However, with the outbreak of the pandemic, while others were celebrating the holiday at home with their families, my parents started arguing incessantly. Every time I hid in my room attending online classes, I would cry. I couldn't focus on what the teacher was saying. During one meal with my mother, I pointed out her mistake and she hit me. I am already a 16-year-old high school student, and there should be a rational way to handle conflicts. When my father came back, my mother distorted the facts in front of him, and he shouted at me and hit me as well. My grandmother witnessed the whole thing, but she always asks me to understand and empathize later on. Since I was young, my mother has always favored my younger brother. I won't go into other incidents in detail. This beating reminded me of all the dissatisfaction I had before, and I started to feel dispirited. I couldn't pay attention to what the teacher was saying anymore, and my test scores dropped significantly. It seemed like the teacher had lost hope in me, and my classmates started to look at me with disdain. My parents pressured me every day, and I cried almost every night when I came home. Sometimes, receiving even a little criticism from the teacher at school would make me break down. I don't know when I became so fragile, and my state of mind has been deteriorating day by day. Every time I come home and have a conflict with my parents, I cut myself with a knife. Now, I really don't want to live anymore.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "\ufe0fHello, I feel very sorry for you when I see your situation. Let me give you a big hug first. Every child is an angel, and you should not be treated this way! In light of your current situation, I have the following suggestions: 1. Have a serious conversation with your parents about your current state. You need to clearly tell them that although you are still regarded as a child in their eyes, you are also a young person with thoughts, and you deserve at least some respect. Try to resolve any issues through reasoning. As for your parents' relationship problems, you can also express your stance. You can tell them that if they no longer love each other, they can separate, but they should refrain from verbally attacking and hurting each other. This kind of atmosphere will affect all family members, including your grandmother. 2. For you, studying is undoubtedly important, but it is not more important than your health. If you feel unable to calm yourself down and study at the moment, don't force yourself. Focus on making yourself happy first and engage in activities you enjoy. Don't immerse yourself in your own world. Instead, get moving, go for a run, jump around, play basketball or soccer with your classmates. 3. Even when facing unfair treatment, don't hurt yourself in extreme ways. You can go to a secluded place to vent your frustrations, write down your unhappiness, and you can also cry if you feel like it. Don't think that boys can't cry. If you're not feeling well, it's okay to cry it out. 4. Talk to your good friends about these matters. If you don't have any, you can approach the school's guidance counselor. If that's not an option either, you can chat with a counselor on the \"\" app. 5. If possible, you can read some books on psychology. The \"\" app also has many excellent books. You can solve your own problems through self-study. Many psychological counselors have actually gone through their own psychological struggles and found their own ways to cope. This helped them gain confidence and grow up, allowing them to start helping more people. These are just my suggestions. Hug you again, and I hope you won't hurt yourself anymore. I believe that you can become stronger and better through your own efforts!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 7921
 },
 {
  "question": "I don't want my mother-in-law to hold the baby. Every night when I put the baby to sleep, my mother-in-law takes him away to sleep with her.",
  "description": "I feel that my mother-in-law is interfering with the life of our family of three. I don't want to live with her and I have to whisper to my husband, avoiding her, which makes me feel restricted. There are also disagreements on disciplining our child.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, mother-in-law/daughter-in-law, son-in-law",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, original poster, thank you for your trust. Based on the limited description, it seems that you don't want to live with your mother-in-law. Have you discussed this with your husband and how do you plan to handle it? 1. Is it because she helps take care of your children that you live together? 2. If you don't need her help, what solutions do you have? 3. If you do need her help, is there a way to not live together? 4. If there are disagreements in parenting, how do you plan to communicate and resolve them? 5. Can you handle the responsibility of raising the children on your own? There can be discrepancies between thoughts and reality, so learning how to communicate and mastering communication skills are essential.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship has always been a difficult problem, and in most families, it is only a few that are harmonious. The main causes of problems in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship are as follows: the mother-in-law does not have a good sense of appropriate boundaries, causing interference in the new family; differences in outlook on life, worldview, and values; conflicts in child-rearing beliefs and methods; the mother-in-law siding with her son instead of seeking justice when conflicts arise; the son/husband lacking conflict resolution skills, etc. In getting along, issues may arise regarding lifestyle beliefs and child-rearing methods. It is recommended to solve them from the following aspects: first, reach a consensus with your husband on daily life and child-rearing, as the couple should stand together; second, accept the way the mother-in-law expresses love for the child and not deprive the elderly of their right to love the child; third, if possible, live separately from the elderly in the same community or nearby. This way, the elderly can help take care of the child and meet their psychological needs without crossing boundaries. I wish you well, and in your situation, I recommend seeking counseling for psychological development and adjustment (related to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relations). I'm here, and the world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From the description, I understand that you seem to be experiencing \"mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts.\" You are dissatisfied with some of your mother-in-law's behaviors, but you don't know how to deal with it. First of all, it is difficult to avoid differences in habits and education between two generations with different backgrounds. However, if you want to live together, you need to approach it with a calm mindset and actively communicate and reconcile. So, why not express your thoughts and attitudes to your mother-in-law in an appropriate manner instead of bottling it up inside. This can help avoid accumulating negative emotions privately. On the other hand, communicating with your spouse about this situation can be a good and important bridge. Therefore, you may want to talk to your spouse about these issues.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10456
 },
 {
  "question": "My parents want me to become a teacher. How can I break free from others' expectations and find my own path?",
  "description": "My parents want me to become a teacher, but I made it clear in my mind a long time ago that I don't want to pursue this profession. First, I don't like it, and secondly, I don't think it's suitable for me. I don't enjoy speaking for long periods of time, and my vocal condition is not good either. My voice is not loud. Moreover, I don't consider myself a helpful and patient person. Overall, my personality and various aspects don't fit the role of a teacher. I am currently studying in a teacher education program at university, but I want to switch majors. However, there is a high probability that my parents won't agree. I don't have the courage to bring it up to them yet, and I'm also unsure if another major would be suitable for me. How should I make a decision? How can I find the path that truly belongs to me?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, and the meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Let's analyze and chat at the same time: Your desire: don't want to become a teacher. Your parents' desire: want you to listen to them and become a teacher. Both your desire and their desire are not wrong, but they are currently incompatible. We can further analyze: since you graduated from a teacher training college, you have certain limitations when looking for a job. If you want to choose another industry, the safest approach is to ensure that teaching is the minimum guarantee for employment, and then gradually expand other professional fields you are interested in. From your description, you only know that you don't want to become a teacher, but you haven't found the profession you want to pursue yet, and you are still exploring. During this exploration process, if you graduate, you still need a job to support your basic living, right? And then continue to explore. Since you haven't made a clear choice before finding your area of expertise, why not compromise with your parents' wishes in terms of \"expression\"? You also mentioned changing majors, but in light of your current situation, you are in a teacher training university, and working as a teacher after graduation is most advantageous for you. If you change majors, do you still have these advantages? Have you analyzed other possible job opportunities for yourself? You may have misunderstood one thing: assuming you choose the teaching profession in the future, it may only be a phase in your life, not something you have to be in forever. Each choice is only the best option for you at the moment, not a necessary or compulsory one. So, do you dislike being a teacher because it is your parents' expectation? Do you not want to be a teacher solely because you don't want them to control your career choices as well? Are you bothered by their constant interference in your life, but what about your own choices? If your desire is to refuse your parents' interference, then we can discuss that aspect more thoroughly.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "From your description, on one hand, you feel that your personality is not suitable for being a teacher and you want to break free from your parents' arrangement. On the other hand, you are unsure of what you really like. Is that correct? Many people face this situation in their lives. Without a clear goal, it is important to focus on being the best version of yourself at the present moment. Since you have chosen this major, you can study it well and obtain relevant certifications. Then, learn about the content and job prospects of other majors in your school, participate in some social activities, and explore your interests. Don't act blindly without considering the risks involved.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3479
 },
 {
  "question": "Afraid and timid, feeling anxious in crowded situations, and afraid to speak up?",
  "description": "I went to a buffet for lunch with my parents and felt so insignificant. Once we got there, I acted very unnatural, barely speaking a word. I saw other people talking and laughing, speaking loudly and naturally. Especially when they went to get food, I just wanted to grab something quickly and leave. Later, my mom asked me some questions like what kind of meat it was, or whether I wanted something. I answered very unnaturally and quietly. I feel so insecure, and as I continued to eat, I kept my head down, wondering what I should do. I feel so pathetic, they must be laughing at me, thinking I'm so timid. I'm finished. I couldn't speak much, feeling very nervous. I don't even know what to do anymore.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello cutie! Hi there, reading your question made me laugh out loud, it reminds me of myself in high school! When mom asks in public if you want something to eat, it can feel really awkward, and seeing other people definitely doesn't make it any easier. Yes, this kind of situation can make us feel uncomfortable, and we might think that others feel the same, right? I want to say, it's all okay. Yes, everything is okay. First of all, our personality is introverted. Introverted people recharge their energy when alone and expend energy in crowded places. So, it's not surprising that we're not the type to be super outgoing in public. What's the big deal about that? Plus, not being able to open up to strangers is a way of protecting ourselves. I don't know that person, so I'm not willing to reveal my true self in front of them. I have a slow and warm personality, and I don't know her well, so I'll just keep my distance. It's my choice and a way of respecting myself. It's all okay. Also, you mentioned feeling like they're all laughing at you, but actually, people tend to focus more on what they themselves are doing and the people they interact with. They pay less attention to those who are quieter. So rest assured, just be bold and be yourself. Besides, I believe that very few people would judge someone as not good enough based on one or two actions. They would just think it's a normal behavior, being shy and quiet. Because those are just external behaviors, not essential traits. Cutie, what you need most right now is to learn to accept your introverted nature, stop feeling inferior, and love yourself. Be brave in building relationships with others, I believe you have the ability to handle interpersonal relationships well. Everything will be OK, Everything is OK! Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "For many people, facing a large crowd can lead to anxiety. It feels like being an introvert in an unfamiliar environment, closing oneself off, being afraid to speak and fearing crowds. There are many factors that contribute to this, possibly related to one's living environment or having a small social circle. In this situation, there is no need to panic. We can gradually adapt. The next time you go to a buffet, you can relax and try to make communication feel normal. When selecting food, take your time to choose what you like without being too afraid of the surroundings. Face others with a smile and conversation. You don't necessarily have to empathize, but in situations like this, you can stay calm, relax yourself, and if possible, slowly open up and learn to communicate.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20358
 },
 {
  "question": "Many tasks, exams are approaching, what should I do if I don't want to study?",
  "description": "Many tasks, I simply don't want to learn, always want to escape, play without end.",
  "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Deep down, you actually want to study well, but because you don't know how to handle so many tasks, you feel like escaping. Have you ever tried to think about it? If you escape and don't do anything, you'll still be stuck in the same place. But as long as you start doing something, even if you don't finish it, you are making progress. No matter when, doing something, even a little, is better than doing nothing at all. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by many tasks and didn't know where to start? How about trying to divide the tasks into three different levels according to their importance? Complete the most important tasks first, then the next important ones, and finally the less important ones. Keep it up! These are just my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16874
 },
 {
  "question": "Every thing is concerned about parents, how can I eliminate my concerns?",
  "description": "Before I do anything, I always consider my parents because the older I get, the more I realize that my parents have significant problems. I worry a lot and think about a series of questions. You see, all of my school fees were borrowed, and my mom owes 180,000 yuan to support me. My dad's health is also not good, and more importantly, their relationship is not good. They fight every day, and it's causing me to become depressed. The reason is that my mom has never laughed in this family. But back then, I was only around 10 years old and didn't have the ability to change anything. I just went on living in confusion for over ten years. Now I'm 24 years old, still depressed. My mother's emotional instability has destroyed my motivation. I still have complaints and criticize them for only knowing how to argue without trying to solve the problems. Later, when I reached the age when I should work hard and study, I realized that I have been \"tied down\" by my parents. I've been scolded for decades, and I'm like a startled bird, afraid to go anywhere. I don't dare do anything. No matter what I do, I'll just get scolded. I might as well sit and wait for death.",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "\u3010Breaking Free from the Chains of Parents\u3011Listening to your description, I have a general idea of your situation, feeling trapped like a bird that has lost its freedom. Let's see how we can break open this cage. \u3010Firstly\u3011, the guilt your mother has instilled in you. Your mother borrowed 180,000 yuan for you. This is the source of your guilt, making you feel that you owe a lot. Repaying the loan is also difficult for you. With guilt, since she is your creditor, how can you dare to be happy if she is not? This loan is not an act of love, but rather a guilt that you cannot afford to repay. The only way to solve this problem and prevent guilt from spreading is by being independent: independence grants you freedom. At the same time, you need to learn to refuse your mother's requests for loans. Since this \"love\" has brought you guilt, you should not accept it anymore, learn to say no. By reducing guilt, your psychological stress will decrease, and then you will have the energy to do other things. \u3010Secondly\u3011, parents' discordant relationship causing you to lose a sense of stability. Because a child's sense of security initially comes from their parents' good relationship, unfortunately, your parents were unable to provide you with a stable home environment. Solution: 1. Recognize that your family is just like this. In fact, it's not just your family; there are countless families with the same atmosphere. Your parents were unable to become the role models we envisioned. This is their fate and limitations. We must not criticize but rather acknowledge, accept, respect, and allow it to be. 2. A good partner is more important than good parents. I often tell friends that bad parents influence you for 20 to 30 years, while a good partner influences you for 50 to 60 years. The new family is more important than the original family. We cannot change the family we were born into, but once we realize this, the latter half of our lives is our own decision. Let yourself grow and become independent. Take it as a lesson and find someone who loves you to build a family, and then you can once again enjoy the warmth of a family. \u3010Thirdly\u3011, what should you do when you lack motivation? Think about why you want to do this thing. Why do you want to work? It's for the sake of your own independence and not carrying too much guilt. Freedom is actually a great driving force. Also, directly giving money to others implies an unconscious disregard for their ability: \"You can't do it without me; you can only depend on me.\" This kind of psychological implication leads to a lack of confidence in yourself. Increasing your self-confidence will make you more confident and courageous in your actions. It would be a good method to regularly recognize your own strengths and praise yourself. You have the ability to live the life you want; the key is to break this destructive cycle. Best wishes to you, Namaste!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, here's a hug for you. I sincerely listened to your problem and can empathize with your feelings because I have had a similar experience. My parents also didn't get along well - my father was taciturn and my mother was assertive and nitpicky. I remember that every little thing could spark an argument between them. When I was young, I believed and obeyed my mother's words, but as I grew up, I started to feel that she was nagging and annoying - I complained about the same things every day. Our rational thinking tells us to let go, be open-minded, and live well. Life itself is a burden. The ignorance of parents in our original families is the biggest obstacle to a child's path to success. I hope that first, you can relax and learn to control your emotions. Then, communicate with your parents and tell them your thoughts, how you feel about the family, and what you hope for. Alternatively, you can find something you are interested in and passionate about, work hard and immersed in it, gradually specializing in it. You're 24 years old. You should have a sense of responsibility for yourself - working when you need to work, studying when you need to study. Or maybe you should leave your parents and work in another city, just like many parents in original families leave their parents (your grandparents). If a person doesn't change, your own inaction may continue to the next generation. To break this cycle, the only way is to work hard and resolutely pursue things that are both interesting and meaningful. Keep up the good work, young one.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Parents cannot choose us, but they do love us, truly! The world is so big, it's really not easy to meet each other. I want to give you a hug for your experiences. I was talking to a friend yesterday and we also discussed similar issues. I was raised in a strict family, not allowed to go out and play, not allowed to eat at other people's houses, not allowed to accept things from others. Now that I am working, my family wants to come along, to the point where I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. Actually, parents just didn't know how to express their love in a way that we liked. So what should we do in this situation? Firstly, we need to adjust our mindset. \"Life, once born, we have to live it.\" No matter what the family conditions are, no matter if we are accustomed to our parents' way of expressing love, all these should not stop us from moving forward. We have the autonomy, so let's try to change the current situation and make an effort. Secondly, learn to love and understand. Parents may argue a lot out of habit or due to their personalities, so let's try to communicate with them using love. Of course, this is not an easy task, but the power of love is always strong. Lastly, don't give up. Life may be hard, but we can add sugar to it. Don't give up on ourselves because of setbacks, as setbacks are just stepping stones on our path to success. What we need to do is to stand on these stepping stones, so that we can stand higher and see farther. I'll accompany you with love and words. Good luck.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You are just like me before. When I first entered college, I had no goals, didn't care when others stepped on me, and didn't get angry. My friends would ask me why I never got angry, they thought I was carefree, but the truth is I just didn't want to bother. Besides studying at school, I had no expectations for the future. It felt like I had entered a state of Taoist inaction and desirelessness. Others were cultivating themselves, while I was dying inside. Human energy is limited, and so is ambition. I think you are just like me, exhausting your energy and ambition within your family. Being too controlled and having no personal space or social circle makes you feel lost when entering society, with no goals or idea of what you want. My first friend in college liked to cross boundaries, and my later friends asked me why I wasn't angry when she insulted me in front of others. Some people would analyze that I have a people-pleaser personality, but it's not related at all because I haven't made friends in a long time, and I am actually scared inside, afraid of failure. And you can't expect someone who is out of touch with society to have good judgment. Judgment is formed by the combination of self and external perspectives. Sometimes, the judgment of others is more important than self-perception. My friend was testing my boundaries, and I was testing the boundaries of the outside world through her. So the first time was tough but necessary. There weren't as many incidents later on, and my later friends are all good. When you feel unmotivated or slow, don't rush because you can think of your ambition as a long-unused train that needs oiling and maintenance, and slowly warming up before starting to move. You can't expect it to run fast from the beginning, as it would indicate that you have suffered a great shock. So be patient. You may not feel it or feel it seldom, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. What you need to do now is set your destination. What do you want to do in the future or what do you have to do in the future? For example, after studying, I want to save money and buy a house. That's why I have been busy for the past ten years. Also, explore the things you like deep inside your heart. Your preferences have been suppressed for too long, so you need to explore many things to truly feel what you like. And value your faint likes. For example, a few days ago, I saw something on Weibo and thought about getting a cat. Actually, I'm not sure if I can take care of it properly, but I made plans for this cat. My mom wouldn't allow me to have one, so I have to have my own house, buy good cat food, have cat toys, get it checked by the vet... It's a hassle to have a cat, that's how I felt at the time. But it's not easy for me to like a cat, so I have to try, fight for what I like. Even if I end up not raising it, or run out of patience and give it to someone else, I still have to try, spend a little more time for your likes, instead of just a passing thought.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hug the questioner! From the way you express yourself, you must be a very responsible person. Unfortunately, your family life is not very satisfying, and your parents' various aspects have had an impact on you, to the point of hindering your development. You also feel pain because of this. It can be seen that although the situation in your family is not very good, your mother loves you very much. This love should not become your restraint, but should be the motivation for you to go out and develop. Because of years of verbal abuse, you have lost confidence in the outside world and feel that since it is like this anyway, it is better to just stay the same and not change. This is what your environment tells you, but there is still a world outside that can tell you different things. You can try to see the outside world, perhaps it will bring you a different experience and increase your confidence. You are a good person, and perhaps you can change the impact your parents have on you, but the premise is that you need to step out of your current living environment and go out to develop.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: You grew up in a dysfunctional family where your parents often argue and your mother is depressed. The way your parents interact and your mother's depressive state have had a significant impact on you. The financial burden at home has also become a psychological pressure for you. Growing up, you were often blamed and scolded, which has led to your own defense mechanisms or a state of self-doubt and hesitation. All of this directly affects your current work and interpersonal relationships, among other things. You have recognized the problems and patterns in your family, and you know the reasons behind your current timid state. You can't change your family, so now you can only change yourself. Seek help from friends, trustworthy teachers, or professionals to adjust your thought patterns and behavior, and establish your own mechanisms. You have already identified the problems and reasons, so taking the first step is already behind you. Now, it's about how you take action and change yourself! Keep going, you are beautiful and worth shining! You can follow and consult me, hoping to help you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Come here, let me give you a hug and hopefully give you some strength. Growing up in an environment where your parents weren't very harmonious has had a certain impact on your personality, making you feel inadequate and unable to be yourself. I can assure you that your problems can be greatly improved through learning. First, you need to understand that you are an individual with independent thoughts and personality. At 24 years old, you can be your own master and gradually become mentally mature. When your own thoughts conflict with those of your parents, consider your own thoughts more and prioritize your own needs as long as it doesn't harm others. You have to understand that you came into this world with the help of your parents, they raised you, and it is your duty to respect and honor them. However, you are only their child, not themselves or their parents. Some responsibilities that should be borne by them must be borne by them, such as their own marriage and supporting themselves while they are still capable of working. When you always consider them, you need to differentiate between what you must bear and what they should bear. You only need to bear your own part, and you don't need to consider the part that they should bear. Don't impose it on yourself, you also need to have your own life. Secondly, you need to constantly learn, learn to reconcile with your parents, learn to care for yourself, and change yourself. Reconciling with your parents means understanding their difficulties, understanding their limitations, and expressing understanding even though they may have done things poorly, stop complaining. Caring for yourself means paying more attention to your own needs, pursuing inner peace and harmony, and making yourself happy. I recommend that you read \"The Road Less Traveled\" and \"The Family Crucible.\" I believe they will be helpful to you. You have studied so much, but only by growing yourself can you fully utilize your talents and intelligence. Keep going, and I wish you all the best!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Earning 180,000 is actually not difficult, don't see it as a pressure. Because you haven't had much exposure to money, you think you can't achieve it. You are only 24 years old, you know there are many people with more mortgage than you, and investing in education is necessary. You can only earn more money when you have a diploma. Many difficulties in life are opportunities. You have just entered society, so you feel scared, but when you grow faster than others, you will find that you earn more than just 180,000. Compared to those who only start striving in middle age, others have already surpassed them, and you will have more energy to strive for better results. More choices are not necessarily better, because people's inertia tends to make them choose the path of immediate comfort. So sometimes not having a choice is the best choice. Remember, destiny can be fair sometimes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Daring to express your true family relationships and situation, wanting to change, and hoping that you can choose a different pattern from your native family, you are brave and sincere! The emotional burden and pressure to repay your mother's loan of love has left you with deep guilt. It's understandeable that as a recent college graduate, you feel lost and stressed. However, I hope you can consider the following: 1. Besides feeling disappointed in your family situation, what other feelings do you have, such as the care, companionship, and expectations from your parents in your childhood? 2. How were you able to secure a loan from your mother to go to college in such an environment? What quality of yours made your mother consider this as a valuable and worthy investment? 3. There are three things in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the heavens. 4. Your parents' relationship is their own matter, and even arguments can be a form of communication. Many people maintain their relationship in this way, so try to understand them. 5. Ask yourself about the kind of life you truly desire, write it down, and plan for it throughout your life, just like repaying a loan. You can also implement it gradually. 6. Accept reality, accept your relationship with your parents, and change will begin unconsciously.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 21039
 },
 {
  "question": "How to make my husband willing to open up about his feelings if he refuses to seek psychological therapy?",
  "description": "How can I make him willing to speak his mind, as he has a lot of distrust and refuses to say anything? He has some inner issues that require psychological counseling, and I want to convince him to talk to a counselor. However, no matter what I do, he refuses to accept this psychological counseling. How can I make him agree and trust the counselor?",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family members' health.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! You think your husband has a psychological problem and you hope he will actively seek treatment. However, your husband strongly rejects and refuses your arrangement. He doesn't believe in the premise of a psychological counselor, and he doesn't believe in you either. Perhaps he does have some psychological issues that need guidance, but from your anxious words and behavior, after labeling him with a \"mental problem,\" what he feels is not being understood, accepted, and respected by his closest person but rather being denied and ashamed. Therefore, he will establish a more closed self-protective mechanism. Many people who have experienced trauma in childhood can find healing in intimate relationships and grow into psychologically healthy individuals. The key is that they all encounter someone who can listen, understand, and provide an accepting space, and who is willing to invest time and patience to accompany them. Such a person needs to have inner strength first, refrain from hasty judgments, and respect the other person's wishes. I understand you; you also hope your husband will improve. It's like a mother wanting her child, who eats slowly, to eat faster for his own good. But simply forcing the child to correct himself will only make him more rebellious and feel denied. So, the key to solving this matter is: firstly, become the person your husband is willing to confide in, without judgment, with empathy, listening, and understanding. Secondly, spend time and be patient, accompanying him in his own gradual healing. Thirdly, when trust between you is established, seek help from a counselor if needed. Sometimes, an intimate loved one is the best psychological counselor.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4284
 },
 {
  "question": "20-year-old female, I love him but I am afraid of engaging in sexual activity. Is it my psychological issue?",
  "description": "20, female, I previously had a boyfriend and we could do things like kissing, but I was a bit afraid of having sex. Does this mean I don't love him? But I feel like I do love him. Shouldn't someone who loves another person willingly have sex with them? Is my fear of having sex a psychological issue?",
  "keywords": "Love, dependency and attachment, love management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "In the past, I discussed a question with my classmates: Isn't it said that there is gender equality? If men enjoy sex, why do girls act like they are being harmed? My viewpoint is: The benefits may be the same, but the costs are different. Women bear more risks in this process because for men, the impact of sex ends when it's over. However, for women, it may lead to pregnancy, which can influence their future choices in spouse selection, fertility, marriage, as well as their physical health, education, and work, among other things. So, only discussing the benefits without considering the risks, isn't this behaving like scoundrels? How do you judge loving someone? Isn't the way one loves someone their own choice? If a boy tells you that if you love him, then you should XXXXXXX, is that considered moral coercion? I believe that if I love you, I am willing to do certain things for you, and that should be my freedom. A person's body is their own, and they have the absolute right to choose when to engage in sex. That is your right.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20926
 },
 {
  "question": "A girl who is being excluded and bullied, and is too afraid to fight back, how can we help her to the best of our abilities?",
  "description": "The girl in my class, aged 16, is my best friend. She is beautiful, cute, introverted, and quiet. The only downside is that she has a chronic illness and often feels unwell. She should have been taken care of, but because of some of her symptoms, classmates found them strange and uncomfortable, so they began to isolate and exclude her. They elected her as class monitor, but actually wanted to bully her. Because she had no authority, no one listened to her management, and the class discipline became poor, which would lead to criticism from the teacher. Other class committee members would push all the miscellaneous tasks that they didn't want to do onto her. If she didn't handle them well, her classmates would also blame her. Sometimes, people would also mock her for her illness and other things. Her academic performance is not very good, and coupled with the torment of her illness, the exclusion from her classmates, and the busy miscellaneous tasks, it is tormenting her physically and mentally. She has always chosen to remain silent and not dare to resist because she is afraid of retaliation. Moreover, she can't bear to tell the teacher, which would result in punishment for her classmates. However, the bullying from her classmates is growing worse. During the morning class meeting today, the teacher asked her to preside over it, but some people created chaos and made noise, not allowing her to continue. As a result, she stood on the platform and cried, and they became even more rampant. Afterwards, she told me that she understood that not resisting would only lead to more bullying, but she was still afraid of retaliation. She didn't want me to be excluded as well and asked me not to intervene. How can I help her to the best of my abilities?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, friends, empathy.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear friend. After hearing your description, I can truly understand the feeling of wanting to help others but not knowing where to start. It's heartbreaking to see friends like this.----------------------Regarding the current situation: Your best friend is kind and lovely, but because of her chronic illness, some symptoms may make her classmates uncomfortable, leading to their bullying. Whether it's fear of retaliation or not wanting to hurt her classmates, it ultimately leads to her becoming worse. Often, kindness without boundaries can turn into \"evil.\" Such kindness actually enables others and hurts oneself. Furthermore, tolerating and retreating will not awaken others' awareness; they will only enjoy the pleasure of bullying.----------------------Some of my thoughts: First of all, encourage and comfort her. Anyone facing such situations is very fragile, so as her good friend, even if you feel sorry for her weakness, it's better not to show it for now. Let her feel that there are people around her who understand and sympathize with her, which will help her vent her suppressed emotions and ease her sadness. After all, if emotions are pent up in her heart for a long time, her own illness will worsen. Only by firmly refusing will others not bully you. Our subconscious always believes that when facing bullying, we should not resist because it will provoke their counterattack. But in reality, not resisting is also being bullied, and resisting is also being bullied. Why not try expressing your dissatisfaction loudly to them? And many people generally have a fear of strong individuals: the weaker you are, the more they will bully you, but when you become strong and \"fierce\", they will avoid you because of it. However, this requires a firm stance and cannot be just a one-time outburst. Otherwise, it may backfire. You can suggest resigning from the role of class monitor to the teacher. Holding on to something that is useless is not worth it. If it's been happening once or twice, it's better to avoid the opportunity for them to humiliate you by stepping down as class monitor. After all, health is the most important thing, and without good health, everything else is meaningless. Since your best friend is not in good health, it is only natural to give up the position of class monitor, and I believe the teacher will understand.----------------------[I can understand the feeling of being bullied because I was also a victim of school bullying. Later, an older sister encouraged me, saying that whether I resist or not, it's the same, but perhaps others will fear you if you resist. So why not give it a try? Once, when I was blocked on the road for an hour and had my school bag snatched and thrown everywhere, I picked up a stone and accidentally injured a boy's head, and they stopped bothering me. People fear those who are \"fierce\" and \"strong\". They think weak people pose no threat to them, but they can't handle what a strong person might do. So, you can have a good talk with your best friend and be resolute in resisting.] I hope my thoughts can be helpful to you, dear.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the situation you described is really heartbreaking. It's important to provide comfort and support to your best friend. The fact that she is reluctant to stand up for herself may be due to her upbringing and environment. Maybe her parents have been overly protective of her because of her health condition. This can lead to self-doubt and a lack of clear understanding of her abilities and the influence of the outside world, which makes her afraid to resist bullying for fear of retaliation. However, tolerating the mistreatment will only make it worse. She needs your companionship and encouragement now more than ever. Assure her that she is not at fault, and she doesn't need to blame herself or undermine her own worth. Learning to resist mistreatment is not an act of unkindness toward others, but rather an act of cruelty toward oneself. We humans tend to fear the strong and conform to the majority. Each act of weakness will attract more people to join in bullying her. She needs to learn to resist. I don't know why she hasn't stepped down from the position of class monitor, but if it's causing her so much suffering, she should resign as soon as possible. If she's afraid the teacher won't agree or is too scared to speak up, consider this as the first step of resistance. Seeking help from parents and teachers is essential. Her classmates may find her illness strange and uncomfortable, leading to isolation and exclusion. In that case, it would be beneficial to address the issue at the source by seeking help from parents and teachers, allowing them to educate the classmates and gain their understanding. \"In primary school, there was a classmate who was isolated by the whole class, and I can't remember why. After her mother came to communicate with the teacher, the entire class apologized to her and shook hands as a sign of reconciliation. After that, the situation gradually improved, and no classmates tried to hurt or retaliate against her. Everyone started being friends with her.\" Sometimes, things may not be as frightening or hopeless as they seem. There's always a way to find a solution when we try. I hope my answer can be of help to you.",
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    "answer_text": "Hello, Lou Lou~ After listening to your account, I understand your mood and hope my words can bring you warmth and help. First, you can sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your friend, help her understand the seriousness of the situation, and realize that being bullied without resistance is not just kindness, but rather cowardice. Don't tell yourself not to fight back just because you want to be kind. This will only continue your weakness. It's normal to get sick. Everyone in life will experience certain illnesses, big or small. What's important is to face it with a positive and optimistic attitude. Will your friend not being resistant make the bullies stop bullying her? Showing kindness to them, do they know? Will it make them realize their conscience? No, none of this will happen. It will only empower their arrogance and make them even more ruthless. They bully your friend because she appears to be an easy target. Your friend's constant tolerance will not bring reciprocal treatment, it will only make the bullies become more ruthless. When it's necessary to fight back, you should fight back, girl! Keep going! \"Gentle and timid, easy to be tamed; weak and small, easy to be bullied\" is an eternal truth. If good-hearted people don't understand the way of resistance and don't know how to protect themselves, kindness will eventually become a burden. Good-hearted people have a characteristic of being timid, cowardly, and weak. Why do I say that? It's quite simple, they don't strive or compete, lack scheming, hesitate and avoid problems rather than facing them, they endure and dare not resist. We should appropriately express our protests, question things that harm our interests, let others know that we are not fools, but rather, we don't bother to argue with them. Learn to say no. Refusing to do so in the vocabulary of a good-hearted person is the most fatal thing, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean we should become cannon fodder for others to rise above. By endlessly \"doing good deeds,\" we only lose ourselves. Strongly express your bottom line to the outside world. When in a group, when necessary, you must show your temper, even if it may seem like an empty threat, it's necessary to become angry once or twice to let others know your limits. Your boundaries must not be crossed. People without principles who don't like to argue tend to make their own concessions and silently endure. Don't easily give up your bottom line. You must persist in what you like and don't like. Since you know certain things shouldn't be done, find ways not to do them. Believe in yourself and work hard. If your grades are not good, don't be discouraged. Persevere and believe that you can improve your studies. Right? Only those who have the ability will gain respect and recognition from others. Always remember, enemies are just paper tigers. Don't be afraid of them. I hope your friend can get out of this predicament soon and become a cheerful girl again. Keep going! (\u0e07\u2022\u0300_\u2022\u0301)\u0e07.",
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    "answer_text": "Hello! @I really hate campus bullying. Even the beautiful flowers of our motherland can spew out venomous poison. Sometimes, it's a combination of both verbal and physical torment, and some can even beat people to death. You are a good girl, as you can see your friend's pain and want to help her! Thumbs up to you! (\u0e07\u2022\u0300_\u2022\u0301)\u0e07 @Actually, in every bullying incident, there are three roles: the bully, the victim, and the bystander. Initially, several individuals may dislike certain traits of the victim and attack them mercilessly. Because bullies often have advantages in various aspects such as physique and influence, some people will follow them (regardless of their thoughts), and the bystander may either stay silent and watch the spectacle or even join in. Bullies often have abnormal family dynamics and are very scared of weakness, or they may have an innate tendency to bully. \u25cbI think you need to comfort your friend. (Victims often eventually internalize their guilt. Tell her how the bullies think, which is solely related to the darkness in their own hearts. @After such a long time, responsible teachers should pay attention to the students' situation, but either they do not have the inclination to do so or they turn a blind eye to it. Based on your teacher's judgment, decide whether to speak up, but usually, it will only result in a talk without changing anything, and may even make the bullies angrier. \u25cbAlthough it shouldn't be like this, your friend can resign from the position of class monitor. Your friend's current state is not suitable for being a class monitor, so if she is uncomfortable, she should find a reason and resign. As long as she is firm in her attitude, the teacher will not stand in the way. \u25cbEstablish boundaries. Let go of all the previous compromises. Let your friend define what actions are unacceptable and set clear limits. Whenever she feels harmed internally and it's not a matter of being unreasonable, she should establish those limits. If someone crosses her boundaries, she should bravely assert her sovereignty and strongly resist. In fact, the more one endures, the more others perceive that bullying does not come at a cost to them, and they will continue to make a fuss over trivial matters. Encourage your friend to release her anger, and she will realize that the consequences are not as bad as she fears. The people who bully her will also back off. And then, she should not retreat when such incidents happen again. Share a story with her: when the writer Sanmao was young and studying abroad, she followed the teachings of being kind, polite, and tolerant to others. She was initially very kind to her roommates and always helped them. Over time, her roommates thought she was easy to bully, and they would give her all the chores without gratitude, while also complaining about her. Sanmao kept enduring until one day, she exploded and grabbed a broom, thrashing around like crazy. Although they called her a crazy woman, Sanmao didn't care. After that, her roommates became more polite to her and sometimes greeted her with a smile. It's funny, but it's the truth. Your friend is just like you, warm and kind-hearted. But don't forget to treat yourself well! Be brave and protect yourself! Stop being bullied. Hugs to both of you!",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. From the feedback on this psychological issue, this girl appears to be quiet, beautiful, and has a delicate and fragile demeanor. It can also be seen that you have a great love for nurturing the weak and standing up for justice.\u25cb Individuals who are different often become the target of group exclusion. She is both beautiful and delicate, and occupies the prominent position of a class cadre. Being shy, she is not good at socializing and does not fit the traditional expectations of the public towards assertive and competent class cadres. It has a sense of standing out from the crowd. Therefore, she encounters resistance and exclusion in her work. The repeated embarrassing experiences will also make her lose credibility and become the target of teachers and classmates' frustrations and blame.\u2299 Silence can devour personal growth. When a person encounters ridicule and difficulties in a group, speaking out and asserting oneself is the proactive attitude to solving problems. Enduring in silence will only lead to passivity.\u25c7 Daring to challenge leads to transformation. All the hardships in life are tests from life itself, and they are also meant to help us become better versions of ourselves. In the face of difficulties, do not bow down, wipe away the tears, move forward bravely, and complete a personal redemption.\u2299 Emotional support soothes the soul. Loneliness accompanies solitary progress and often brings feelings of helplessness. Boldly expressing oneself and seeking emotional support can bring inner comfort and make the steps forward more determined.\u25cb Integration into the collective brings renewal. Competition and collaboration are the norms of life and necessary lessons for personal growth. By growing through competition and advancing through collaboration, integrating into the collective and developing friendships, life will become more colorful. Let's encourage each other.",
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    "answer_text": "Hug the poster, and hug their best friend too. There are always people who bully honest people in this world, so when necessary, we can take some tough measures. 1. If we stand up, will the other party continue to tolerate it? Sometimes, we worry about the other person, and some things are clearly someone else's fault, but we have to take responsibility for them. Moreover, we are not saviors, and some people need to be dealt with firmly. Especially in terms of class discipline, if every teacher can handle it in a gentle way, then why are there so many punishment mechanisms? Friends will find a solution together when facing difficulties and share good things together. We will definitely not give up on her, so we can clearly tell the other person: this time, I will stand firm with you. It may cause others to reject us, but I don't want us to keep bowing our heads, because we are not at fault. I am willing to bear the consequences no matter what, so please be firm this time, okay? 2. Can some misunderstandings be resolved? The reason why classmates exclude a good friend is because her symptoms make them feel strange and uncomfortable. So can we find an opportunity to educate everyone about our best friend's condition? If this misunderstanding can be resolved, it should be able to change some classmates' perspectives and eliminate some misunderstandings. We can first privately communicate with the teacher. If this matter can gain the teacher's support and understanding, we can help share our best friend's situation during class meetings. For example, we can reveal some things our best friend secretly does through words and pictures, and turn them into a PowerPoint presentation. Then, we can raise awareness about our best friend's symptoms, so that people will no longer view our best friend with a biased perspective. The world and I love you.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ From your description, I have a general understanding of the situation. First of all, I really admire your courage. I have seen many people being excluded in campus, but very few dare to help the person being excluded. You are really kind~ Regarding your friend's situation, I have a few suggestions that I hope can help you. Give hints: It is really helpless and sad to be excluded, but at this time, even if only one person says \"I am here for you,\" it can bring her a lot of warmth. So you should constantly give her a hint: although others treat you badly, you still have me, a friend who supports you. It's also possible to explain the situation to the teacher: You can find an opportunity to explain the specific situation to the teacher and make it clear that it's not your friend's fault, but that others are not cooperating. The teacher will understand it. Communicate with parents to find a solution: You are still a student and may not have the ability to do more. I don't know if the girl has discussed this issue with her parents. It seems that the situation you described is quite serious. Personally, I think it is necessary to talk to her parents about the situation, as it also affects her physical and mental health. Parents have more life experience and can help come up with solutions together. Take care~",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I hope I can help you and your friend. \"If you don't speak up, you will perish in silence.\" Your friend is a kind and honest person. However, if she keeps giving in, she may become weak, timid, and easily intimidated, and others will take advantage of her even more. Good people are often taken advantage of. You can communicate with your friend. Ignore those who stir up trouble for no reason, focus on self-improvement, and silently work hard. Those people are not important. Your friend \"feels reluctant to report to the teacher and have them punished.\" She is too kind-hearted. However, she cannot keep being bullied. You can talk to the teacher and find a better way to solve this problem. When others try to provoke, you can help manage the situation. If your friend feels being a class monitor is too exhausting, she can talk to the teacher and resign.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Even though she faced exclusion and bullying, she never thought of giving up her role as class monitor. As her good friend, I should support her. The main poster said that during the morning school meeting today, the teacher asked her to preside over it, but some people disrupted and heckled her, not letting her continue. As a result, she stood at the podium and cried, and they became even more brazen. Later, she told me that she understood that not resisting would only lead to more bullying, but she was still afraid of retaliation. She didn't want me to be ostracized too and told me not to worry about her. How can I help her within my means? It is normal for a class monitor to encounter uncooperative classmates, and there is no need to attach too much meaning to it. Bullying and exclusion are interpretations we give. Think about it, did anyone physically harm or verbally abuse her? Not accepting others' lack of cooperation and hoping that they meet her expectations is the reason she feels sad and cries. The main poster can tell her this, that no matter how others act, she must understand what her goal is. Just continue doing what she needs to do. I remember there was a thought experiment that said, imagine your life is like a bus and you are the driver. This bus is yours, and you want to take it to your ideal destination, return to your destination. Along the way, many people will get on and off the bus, and sometimes some devils will get on. These devils, the bad people, will do all kinds of things, annoying you. The biggest characteristic of these devils is what? They bare their fangs and brandish their claws, they intimidate you, curse you, and constantly bully you, causing you a lot of trouble. But they will not really hurt you. They won't grab your steering wheel, they just tease you. In life, we will encounter many unpleasant things, lots of worries, and encounter many people we don't want to see. However, when you encounter them and they get on your bus, at this time, please tell me, do you keep driving or stop to argue with them? You will find that if you insist on arguing with them before continuing your journey, you will never get anywhere in your life. You will only stay in this place for the rest of your life. But when you firmly say, \"I want to go to that meaningful place, I want to drive, I want to keep going.\" Slowly, you will find that these devils are actually just kittens, they are just blustering people, they actually want to help you, or even they are a part of you, and eventually, they will become a part of you. This thought experiment, when you think about it in your mind, will have a great impact. The main poster can ask her, \"Do you still want to drive?\" There is a bus, and some passengers on it are not who you like. But do you stay and argue with them or continue driving?",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, kind girl. It's truly a wonderful gift to have an angel like you accompanying your best friend through such an ordeal. I can tell that your friend is also a kind person, willing to give and consider others. I'm just not sure how she feels about her situation \u2013 whether she is actively trying to change it or if she has already grown accustomed to enduring it. This is really important because everyone has a different perspective on the issue, and in order for change to happen, she must have the desire to change. Despite her poor health and average academic performance, she still takes on various responsibilities. Even though she knows this treatment is unfair, why doesn't she take the initiative to talk to the teacher or step down from her position as class monitor? Or maybe she feels that despite being bullied, she can still help others and maintain a sense of self-worth by being the class monitor. If she wants to change and no longer wants to prove her worth through being the class monitor and various sacrifices, then she will need the courage to make changes. You can talk to her and see what she thinks. If she wants to change, but doesn't want to demonstrate her worth through being the class monitor, then she needs the courage to make changes. You can accompany her to talk to the teacher and resign from her position as class monitor, giving her courage and strength. I think it's important to communicate the current situation with the teacher because the teacher will understand. And then, during a class meeting, she can formally announce her resignation, express her thoughts to the classmates, and acknowledge that she accepts all the difficulties she has faced, and that she only wants to do her best as a class monitor, even if it's not perfect. She won't blame herself and hopes that classmates will respect each other more in the future. If she continues to face difficulties even after taking these steps, she will have resisted. It takes courage to resist, whether in words or actions, and your support will give her strength. Good luck to both of you.",
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  "questionID": 11317
 },
 {
  "question": "Pregnant, had a poor prenatal check-up, feeling down, cried after seeing three different doctors specializing in this field.",
  "description": "I have been pregnant for over 2 months and during a prenatal checkup, my bile acid levels were very high at 143, while the normal range is below 10. If it exceeds 40, it is considered high risk and requires hospitalization for intravenous treatment. However, as I am still in the early stage of pregnancy, the obstetrics department cannot admit me. I have sought consultations with specialists in several large hospitals, but they all said that the only option is to take medication. There doesn't seem to be any other solution. This condition can lead to fetal intrauterine death or hypoxia due to toxins. I have taken both Simetai and Xiongqudai medications, but even with medication or intravenous treatment, it is uncertain whether the bile acid level will decrease. The cause of this condition is unknown. I have undergone various tests in recent days, including liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas ultrasound, as well as a series of detailed blood tests, but nothing has been found. I found out about the pregnancy only a little over a month ago when my bile acid level was slightly elevated at 22. I cry every time I see a doctor. Today, the level has increased again. My mom sent me a message on WeChat telling me to stay strong and crying, while my husband keeps calling and asking what's wrong. I told them I wanted some quiet time to myself, so they rushed back home. They keep asking me what the doctor said, but I told my husband that I want some space to be alone. He said he won't ask me anymore and is upset with my attitude. I feel very uncomfortable and don't want to talk to anyone. Every time I speak to a doctor, I end up crying and unable to even answer their questions. I have seen three specialists and cried during all the consultations.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, prenatal and postnatal care, and fertility beliefs.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Title owner, as a mother myself, I feel really sad and worried after reading your description. I can sense your tension, panic, fear, and helplessness between the lines. These emotions have overwhelmed you, making it difficult for you to respond and know how to handle the situation. When faced with a stressful event like this, anyone would have such a reaction. Usually, we have three response states when encountering danger: 1. Fight. 2. Flight or avoidance. 3. Freeze. For example, if we encounter a robber on the street, we will either fight back with a weapon, run away, or freeze in fear. And right now, you are in the third state because this situation poses a danger to you and your child, and you can neither fight nor escape, so you can only freeze. It is normal to have these feelings of nervousness, panic, fear, and helplessness, as well as to have this response pattern. So, what can we do next? I'm really sorry, but maybe we can't solve the practical problems. However, we can find ways to increase our psychological resilience, so that the time we spend frozen is not so long, and we have a chance to find some solutions. Take a deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, three times. Take a look at those emotions that suddenly arise, what are they? What do they express? See how they flow when you do certain things? How do they flow? Do they increase or decrease? Do they come or go? Through these exercises, try to calm yourself down first and then see if there are other alternatives. From your description, your mom is crying in WeChat, asking you to stay strong. It seems like she can't be physically present with you or give you more strength. Hugs. Your husband seems to care about you, but he also seems to be as nervous and anxious as you, to the point where he can't understand your emotions and state, and may even project his own concerns onto you. Hugs again. But from another perspective, you are not lacking care and support from those around you. Maybe due to various reasons, they have momentarily lost the ability to support you. So, if everyone can communicate and work together without being overwhelmed by emotions, perhaps we can still find some coping strategies. You can also think about what support resources you have around you. Even if, in the worst-case scenario, you have no resources at all, you still have yourself. As a mother, you are strong. And you have this place, where expressing yourself can alleviate your stress and make you feel empowered.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "The first three months of pregnancy do require us to be a little more cautious, but we also need to understand one thing: anxiety cannot fundamentally solve problems and can even make us lose basic judgment. Therefore, we need to adjust our mindset. 1. A positive mindset is half the battle. Getting sick is something many people don't want to face, but we also know that anxiety and worry cannot solve the problem. On the contrary, an anxious mindset may trigger other symptoms, so let's not scare ourselves. And from the description given, we can feel that the family and husband are very concerned about the person asking the question. However, at this time, we are like a thorny hedgehog. When others want to embrace us, we may hurt them and ourselves. Because of our bad mindset, we cry every time we communicate with the doctor, so we cannot give the doctor the best feedback, which is certainly not good for our condition. Therefore, we can prepare in advance and have all the necessary tests done so that we can provide the doctor with accurate information about our condition, and the doctor can give us the correct treatment plan. 2. Everything may not be as bad as we think. High bile acids do have some impact on the fetus, but I believe the questioner is not alone in experiencing this. It's just that there is currently no confirmed cause, which makes it a bit overwhelming when seeking a solution. But it is best not to panic because we are nurturing our own child. So let's think from a different perspective. If we were the ones who got sick but didn't have the ability to take care of ourselves, would we want our parents to calmly analyze the situation or would we prefer them to cry and make a scene? Our baby is the same way. Only when we can calm down, our baby can also feel our emotions, and he/she will strive together with us. So let's calm our hearts and take care of our bodies. Avoid going to unqualified hospitals and follow the doctor's instructions to observe the situation with medication. Perhaps there will be other changes. The world and I love you.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello, sending you a hug. It is inevitable to feel anxious and sad during the early stages of pregnancy, especially when unexpected things happen. It can lead to panic and anxiety. The matter of the child is not only your responsibility, but also your husband's. Whatever the problem is, you should face it together. As the father of the child and your husband, he has the responsibility and obligation to take care of both of you. No matter what difficulties you face, it is better to face them together than alone. Calm your emotions and try not to have extreme ups and downs, as excessive excitement and pain can be harmful to the child. Since you cannot currently find the cause, it is better to listen to the doctor's advice, take the medication, pay attention to a healthy diet, and engage in appropriate physical exercise. You need to take care of your own health in order to provide enough nutrition for the child. Figure out the reasons behind your sadness and agitation, perhaps it is because of worrying about the child, blaming yourself, or a fear of the unknown situation. Do everything that you can do well. Finally, I hope my answer can be helpful to you, and I hope you can soon recover from this overwhelming sadness.",
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    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I'm sending you a hug. I feel so sorry for you as a mother, and I can understand your feelings when you were diagnosed with high bile acid levels. It's really distressing when you've had multiple tests and can't find the cause, and the levels keep rising. The depression, fear, and helplessness overwhelm you, to the point where you just want to be alone and don't know how to respond or deal with it. But do you know, OP, that sometimes suppressing your emotions can make them even stronger? It's like a flash flood; it's better to let it flow than to keep it blocked, because the more you suppress, the stronger the rebound will be. Don't resist it. Take strength from the people around you. From your words, it's clear that your family is really worried about you and wants to know your specific situation. Even if you've told them everything, there may not be much they can do, but they can be your support. Let out the emotions that are weighing on your heart, and share the situation with them. This way, they can take care of you in the way they think is best, and your emotions can find a release. What's done is done; high bile acid levels are a fact, and because the reason hasn't been found yet, you're feeling anxious. But in the current situation, you can still maintain a calm mindset and let your child feel your emotions. A pregnant woman's mood can affect the child, so it's important to keep a calm mind and a happy mood. This way, the fetus can grow and develop faster and healthier. Trust the doctor, relax your mind, and divert your attention. In the medical field, doctors are authorities. Although you've been diagnosed with high bile acid levels, anything is possible. Maybe the doctor will soon find the cause and come up with a solution. Don't overthink it, burden yourself, read a book, listen to some calming music, do some exercises suitable for pregnant women, talk to your baby, relax, and divert your attention. Everything will get better!",
    "has_label": false,
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   {
    "answer_text": "I feel the loneliness, powerlessness, and anxiety from the original poster. No one understands your anxiety and your concern for your child's health. Not only does no one understand you, but it seems that there is no practical solution in reality. You can only watch the situation possibly worsen, unable to do anything yourself, and others can't help you either. This may make you even more devastated and powerless. In front of doctors (authorities), you cry like a child, hoping to get their help. But the response they give you lacks warmth and mostly makes you feel hopeless: in the early stages of pregnancy, the obstetrics department won't take care of it, and you have sought special appointments with experts from many large hospitals, but the obstetrician says medication is the only option. You want some support from your mother, but she asks you to be strong. You want some understanding and tolerance from your husband, to give you some space to digest your emotions, but instead he uses language threats like \"I won't ask you anything in the future,\" which not only fails to take care of your emotions but also adds to your burden, and you have to help him digest his emotions. It's really not easy, hugs to you! Pregnancy causes physical and psychological changes and emotional fluctuations in women, which is normal. People around you may not react immediately, so you should learn to accept yourself first. If you want to cry, cry; if you want to get angry, get angry. Your top priority now is to take care of yourself and protect yourself. It may seem that you can't rely on your husband and mother for the moment. Give them some time to buffer. Calm yourself down and do things that make you happy and joyful. Perhaps this is the best way to solve the problem! Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear. Sending you a hug through the screen. As a mother myself, I understand your worries and helplessness. Encountering difficulties during your prenatal check-ups can really take a toll on your mindset. Right now, it's most important to follow the doctor's advice, take your medication on time, and pay attention to your diet. Mental health and physical health are closely related. This period is a critical time for you and your baby to fight together. Only when the mother becomes strong first and adjusts her mindset can the baby feel the mother's strength. Your mother sent you messages while crying, showing how worried she is about you and your child. The more you worry about your child, the more your mother worries about you. I believe you understand this deeply at this moment. Your husband has been calling you and rushing home to ask about your situation. His anxious mood is understandable because the child is not just yours. As a father, he must be just as worried as you are. Only by hearing from you can he know the outcome. As the saying goes, \"Too much care causes chaos.\" Perhaps his approach is not right, but his intentions are not malicious. Once your emotions have calmed down, you can take the initiative to inform him of the situation and share all your negative emotions with him, so that he can understand your feelings. I believe he will understand. Married couples are a team, and neither party can escape from it. Hormones during pregnancy can also cause inexplicable mood swings, so give yourself positive psychological suggestions. A mother's emotions can affect the healthy development of the baby. Adjust yourself to the best state, and let the mother and baby cheer together!",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's inner depression, anxiety, fear, and helplessness. Just over two months pregnant, the prenatal examination found high levels of bile acid, which caused a great shock to the OP's inner self. Combined with the doctor's words, the mother cried and comforted the OP, while the husband's concern was accompanied by a bad attitude. All these created immense pressure on the OP's inner self, making the OP feel very suppressed and uncomfortable, wanting some alone time to avoid facing such a huge pressure. This is understandable. For many women, pregnancy means becoming a mother, which is a joyful thing that signifies the addition of a family member, created through one's own body. At the same time, it can also bring anxiety and restlessness, as one takes on more responsibilities and worries about not being able to be a \"good mother\" or give enough love to their child. The physical changes and hormonal imbalances caused by pregnancy, along with the feelings of anxiety and uneasiness, can also be understood. Women during this period may have a relatively weaker ability to cope with general stress and setbacks, and they need sufficient attention, understanding, acceptance, and care from people around them, especially the acceptance, understanding, and care from their partners. This can, to some extent, calm the person's inner self and alleviate feelings of loneliness and anxiety. From the information provided by the OP, it appears that the OP and their husband are in a long-distance relationship, which makes the OP feel like they are \"alone\" in facing the challenges of pregnancy and abnormal physical check-ups, resulting in greater stress. Perhaps the OP is used to suppressing their true emotions and feelings in intimate relationships, using this method to \"isolate\" their emotions and attract attention from others in order to protect themselves from being hurt. However, others cannot see or hear the thoughts and feelings within the OP, so they cannot smoothly understand the meaning behind the OP's expressions and satisfy their needs in a timely manner. This leads the OP to misunderstand them and misunderstand their relationship, thinking that they do not love the OP, and causing more self-doubt. The mind and body are interconnected, and the OP has suppressed too many emotions, which can transform into \"qi\" in the body. In other words, the OP's body has accumulated a lot of \"qi\" that has not been released, which has a great impact on the internal organs, causing poor circulation of qi and blood, stagnation, and internal heat. Among the internal organs, the liver and gallbladder are the main organs responsible for eliminating and smoothening functions. The high bile acid value of the OP indicates that the function of the liver and gallbladder is obstructed and unable to work properly. Since the OP is currently pregnant, taking medication will affect the normal development of the fetus. Therefore, the OP can frequently massage the Taichong point on the foot, the Zhangmen point on the waist, the Qimen point on the chest, and the Hegu point (Tiger's Mouth) on the hand. These acupoints play a role in releasing emotional pressure and relieving anxiety. In addition, it is best to avoid eating cold, sour, spicy, and stimulating foods, as these will excessively consume the body's energy, weaken the body's resistance, and avoid excessive use of air conditioning. Get outside and get some sun and try to sweat a little. Also, pay attention to replenishing protein and water, adjusting your diet and sleep schedule to improve your mental and emotional state. On the other hand, the OP can express their true thoughts and feelings to their husband, listen to their husband's thoughts and feelings, release inner pressure, promote deep communication and understanding between the couple, reduce misunderstandings and conflicts, and help the couple's relationship continue to develop in a stable and harmonious manner.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It is evident that the questioner really wants to become a mother, and it is also apparent that your family is very concerned about you and the baby. Is the questioner feeling stressed because of this? It's important for the questioner to relax and maintain a positive attitude for the sake of their health. The questioner mentioned that she is only in the early stages of pregnancy and the obstetrics department won't admit her. She has sought consultations with special experts in large hospitals, and the obstetrician said that the only option is to take medication, with no other alternative. This could be for intrauterine fetal death or toxin hypoxia, but even after taking Simei Tai and Xiong Qudaoxiang medication and injections, there is no guarantee it will bring the levels down. The cause of this disease is unknown, and all the necessary tests have been done, including detailed ultrasound scans of the liver, gallbladder, spleen, and pancreas, extensive blood tests, but nothing has been found. The questioner just found out about the pregnancy a little over a month ago and even then, her bile acid level was slightly higher at 22, causing her to cry every time she sees a doctor. For diseases with unknown causes, there are indeed limited treatment methods for doctors. It is not your fault. We need to have a proper understanding of ourselves and avoid falling into negative emotions. We need to understand what can be changed and what cannot, and accept the fact that issues stemming from hereditary personality traits cannot be changed. Since the cause is unknown, it is very likely that it is related to genetics. The questioner needs to recognize and accept this. Additionally, when we are surrounded by pain and feelings of helplessness, we can try to find a place to sit down and spend about ten minutes \"scanning\" our own bodies, from top to bottom or bottom to top, and then focus our attention on the breath in our abdomen. This helps to break free from negative emotions. We can take a deep breath and focus on the breath in our abdomen, then start observing the sensations in our body. If we feel specific sensations in certain parts of our body, we can focus our attention there for a while. In this way, we can reconnect with our bodies. When we start to pay attention to our own breath, we begin to establish a connection with our own bodies, which can bring us tranquility and strength.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~ Between the lines, I can feel your pain and fear. Sending you a comforting hug. First, let me analyze some knowledge I specifically searched on Baidu about elevated bile acids during pregnancy. Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy is a specific complication of late pregnancy, characterized by bile stasis due to impaired bile acid metabolism, obstruction of bile flow, and increased reflux. It may be related to genetic factors and estrogen. The main manifestation is itching, often generalized, but the palms and soles are usually the first and main areas affected. The itching worsens at night and may also present as right upper abdominal pain, nausea, loss of appetite, sleep deprivation, or fatty diarrhea. Physical examination may show scratch marks, jaundice, etc. Laboratory tests reveal elevated serum total bile acids. Normally, you should avoid eating high-cholesterol foods, pay attention to light meals, and consume more high-protein, vitamin-rich foods, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, soy products, dairy products, and fish. Second, the solution is to adjust your mindset and relax. Every mother who encounters this situation would feel panicked, not knowing what to do and being immersed in various worries that seem inescapable. But if we continue like this, what about the baby? Therefore, you should always pay attention to adjusting your emotions, take deep breaths, and relax. \"Where there's a will, there's a way.\" Communicate more with your husband. Couples need more communication and understanding. Expectant fathers should not only take care of their pregnant wives in daily life, but also provide mental support and understanding. Your husband cares about you, but he also feels a bit anxious, nervous, and scared, so when both sides are in a bad mood, burying everything in their hearts becomes even more inappropriate. Speak up and express all your thoughts. Don't feel it's difficult to open up. You should communicate with each other in a timely manner and overcome difficulties together. Vent your emotions. Whatever the reason for your worries, you must believe that there will always be a turning point. Many expectant mothers are unable to self-regulate and neglect to speak up when facing difficulties, allowing the growth of negative emotions without timely control, eventually leading to tragedy. Expressing yourself is the most direct method. You need to clearly tell them how you feel, release all your negative emotions, not only to release the pain in your heart, but also to let your family know your true thoughts and solve real problems together, so that your mood can see the sunshine again. Wishing you a speedy recovery!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10463
 },
 {
  "question": "I can't stand the dynamics in my family anymore. I feel like ending my life. How can I find relief?",
  "description": "I can't stand the dynamics at home anymore. Many times, I have tried to find ways to ease the tension, explain myself, and have a proper conversation with my parents about the issues. But it's useless. They only twist my words, and they hurl all sorts of insults at me, making me feel worthless. In the past, no matter how bad things got, I never thought about suicide. But this year, I have thought about it many times. Maybe if I die, they will realize their mistakes and I can finally be free. Otherwise, I will forever be trapped in their shadows. I really want to die. They just misunderstood me again and insulted me with hurtful words, even though it's clearly not my fault. How can I endure this pain and not consider suicide?",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your words, I feel very sorry and can sense your distress and heartache due to your difficult relationship with your parents; there might even be a bit of resentment. I have had a similar experience. Recently, I listened to a book called \"Conversations with Inner Fear\" which talks about a term called borderline personality. When you have time, you can give it a listen. Most parents have borderline personalities, and sometimes their love becomes a shackle for us. However, we shouldn't let it get to us. You can also listen to the book \"A Family on the Hot Stove\". Many times, we have similar situations, just slightly different. If you have the capability, you should become independent like the characters in the show \"All is Well\" and distance yourself from them, but ultimately, reconciliation is necessary. Japanese director Takeshi Kitano said, \"We only truly mature when we realize that our parents had it so difficult.\" Parents are also experiencing parenthood for the first time. Just like in the Korean drama \"Reply 1998\", when Deok-sun, the second child, had to give up her food for her elder sister and younger brother, she expressed her grievances, and her father said, \"Sorry, it's also my first time being a father.\" Many times, parents' habits are passed down from their own parents' educational styles. So, when parents hurt you again, tell them how sad you are and that your endurance is limited. We have accepted our parents' limitations and their good intentions behind it, but it doesn't mean we should tolerate their overstepping boundaries blindly. We need to have a clear sense of boundaries with our parents and let them know clearly. Lastly, I hope you can persevere. Just like me, as long as we don't give up, there will be happiness for us one day.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It seems that the relationships at home are making you feel very suppressed and wanting to escape, is that right? Your parents often belittle and scold you, and after enduring such an environment for so long, I truly feel that you have had a tough time. I really wish I could give you a hug from the other side of the screen. Even in the face of such immense pressure, you still want to explain and ease the relationships. You are really working hard and showing great strength. I really hope I can help you. Would you like to elaborate on your situation?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10242
 },
 {
  "question": "Dad beats me for trivial matters, what should I do?",
  "description": "I have a younger brother who is eight years younger than me. My father favors boys over girls. When I was little, my father was a terrifying presence. He would often hit me for even minor things. One time, when I was in seventh grade, my father asked me to prepare lunch, but I suddenly remembered that my best friend had come back from the city and I went to her house to play instead of doing the task. When my father found out, he gave me a harsh slap on the ear. My ear was ringing, and he dragged me out of the house without caring if there were other people present. He made me walk in front of him while he walked behind, picking up a brick and throwing it at me. When we got home, he placed a bottle of pesticide near my feet and told me to drink it myself. Then he left. There was another time when I was in elementary school. My father had divided and cooked the corn, giving each of us one piece. My younger brother finished his and asked me for mine, but I refused to give it to him. My father started chasing and hitting me. I ran into my room, but he broke down the door and continued to beat me with a belt, leaving my face swollen and bruised, and my eyes swollen shut. I thought I had gone blind. There was another incident when I accidentally dropped some porridge on the floor. My father also chased after me, ready to hit me. This kind of thing happened too often. I hate him. I hate why he treated me like that. I don't know what to do. How can this relationship be repaired? It has had a huge impact on me, including my personality and career!",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I see your description and I can tell that you feel very sad, hurt, and lonely. It is unfair and painful that your father didn't consider the presence of others and continued to physically abuse you, even going as far as giving you pesticide to drink. It seems like he has greatly wounded your self-esteem and made you feel ashamed and unable to raise your head in front of your friends. Fortunately, you were lucky not to succumb to your father's abuse and drink the pesticide. You know that what your father did was wrong. However, later on, when you and your brother were eating separately, he finished his food and then tried to take yours. When you refused, your father hit you. This is indeed a serious case of favoritism, and your father did not achieve fairness and justice. It was understandable and correct for you not to give in. So far, you know that you hate him, but you still want to repair this relationship because you realize that this experience will have an impact on your character and your career. This is a good start, but I may not be able to give you specific advice. I just want to let you know that in China, there are many fathers who tend to be more violent, causing their children harm. You are not alone in experiencing a difficult life, and you can find others who have gone through similar situations. I am leaving this message here to let you know that I support you in moving forward and being yourself. Usually, fathers are difficult to change. Their personality patterns have become fixed after decades. It's possible that they may start to change when their own lives start to go downhill, usually when they are in their 50s or even 60s. That is when we, in our mid-twenties or thirties, start to progress in our own lives and have more energy than them. Of course, if you adjust yourself well, you could influence your father earlier, and the relationship could be repaired earlier. With a father like this, you should not blame yourself. You need to know that this is the way he is and not the way you want to live. You can break free and live the life you desire. Additionally, fathers may be our dependence for a period of time, so we may think about how to repair the relationship. However, just because he is our dependence, it doesn't mean we should always let him dictate everything. We need to understand that sometimes we may be right and not let his negativity affect us. Sometimes, we may feel opposing our father is being unfilial and that not repairing the relationship is not right. However, this is a wrong perception. It is normal to be filial, but if our parents behave wrongly and cause us pain, we have the right to distance ourselves to avoid that pain. Sometimes, if our parents from our original family constantly bring us pain, we can just occasionally keep in touch with our family or provide them with material support, but we can maintain some distance to avoid mental and emotional pain. That is normal. You don't have to worry about what others might say, because those who criticize you are not you and cannot understand your pain. Sometimes, we can also observe what our parents need and give them some of those things. Perhaps it can help reduce their baseless outbursts, but it may be unfair to you. If you can think about how they didn't provide much care for me, but they laid the foundation for my material life, and for the sake of repaying their nurturing kindness, I can be humble in the spiritual aspect, and maybe in the future, we will have no debts to each other, and I can lead a burden-free life. I hope you have your own space and your own life, live a good life, and then, under less painful circumstances, try to repair the relationship with your family. Wishing you a happy life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4707
 },
 {
  "question": "My cousin committed suicide, and I feel panicked. What kind of deep emotional abyss did she really pass through?",
  "description": "I have a cousin, a PhD student, with a gentle and filial personality. She has an average appearance and has always been the gentlest to me since I was young. She is the eldest sister in the family, and our parents are very traditional, hoping for their children to achieve great success. In my memory, she has never had any scandals and has never opposed any elders. She has always longed for a Prince Charming, but she got married around the age of 34 or 35 due to age and the need to carry on the family lineage. I don't think her husband is that great. However, on a usual day without any disturbance, she silently avoided everyone's gaze and went to the Zijiang Bridge in our city (the river flows rapidly and the depth is unknown). She abandoned her parents, husband, and her dependent child, along with fear, life, and infinite possibilities for the future, and jumped off the bridge. Passers-by said she was decisive and couldn't be stopped. Her husband and parents said they didn't know why and speculated that it might be postpartum depression as the reason for her suicide. When I heard about this incident, which happened a year ago, I was shocked and couldn't understand. Everything in her life seemed stable, why choose to end it? And why choose such a way that even the body couldn't be retrieved... I feel panic about my cousin's departure and hope that everyone can help me analyze what kind of spiritual abyss she passed through.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! After reading this question, I feel a sense of regret from the bottom of my heart. My condolences to you! In your eyes, your cousin is a successful person in life, gentle, knowledgeable, and with a happy and fulfilling family. But what I \"see\" is a \"puppet\" without freedom. What you see as her limitless possibilities for the future, in her heart, it may have already been determined... Do not underestimate the will to survive. If it weren't for extreme disappointment, no one would easily choose such an ending... There is currently no accurate conclusion on the pathological mechanism of depression. Research and experimental findings suggest that it is related to genetic factors, psychological factors, and neurobiological factors. Depression, also known as depressive disorder, is clinically characterized by a low mood that is disproportionate to the individual's situation. The emotional depression can range from feeling down and lethargic to feeling unbearable sadness, with feelings of depression and low self-esteem. The \"three lows\" commonly mentioned in depression refer to: low mood, sluggish thinking, and reduced motor activity. Depression can generally be divided into four categories: 1) Primary depression and secondary depression. Primary depression refers to a history of no other diseases. Secondary depression refers to depression caused by brain and physical conditions, as well as factors such as alcohol and medication. 2) Endogenous depression and reactive depression. Endogenous depression is caused by \"internal\" factors, mainly based on two clinical manifestations: physical symptoms and the autonomous course of the illness. Reactive depression refers to depressive emotions that are triggered by external stimuli or when these stimuli have a significant impact during the depressive episode. 3) Psychotic depression and neurotic depression. Psychotic depression refers to symptoms of typical depression accompanied by partial or transient hallucinations, delusions, and other symptoms. Neurotic depression does not involve severe psychotic symptoms. 4) Childhood depression, no need to elaborate. Whether the act of giving birth can cause problems with neurotransmitter release and reuptake, leading to the emergence of depressive emotions, I personally have not come across any related studies, so I do not know if postpartum depression can be considered as a reactive or exogenous form of depression. The true reason behind your cousin's suicide sank to the bottom of the river with her... But it seems that some clues can be found through her life trajectory. \"Her husband and her parents said: I don't know why, but postpartum depression should be the reason for her suicide.\" To be honest, this statement is almost impossible to establish. Unless it is an unexpected onset of mental illness, there will always be signs before a suicide attempt. It is difficult for close family members to accept such an explanation. For a person from having suicidal thoughts to finally acting on them, it is often a long, repetitive, and conflicting process. What becomes the \"straw that breaks the camel's back\" in this process? \"She is the eldest sister in the family. Her parents are very traditional. They hope for a prosperous future for their sons and daughters.\" How much pain is hidden behind this seemingly simple sentence, only someone who has experienced it can understand it. \"She has always hoped for a prince charming, but she only got married around the age of 34 or 35 due to the pressure of age and the need for descendants. I don't think her husband is good enough.\" The social nature of humans means that most people become \"tools of society.\" Many people without high levels of education passively accept this reality. They are not unaware, but not fully aware. They become the \"silent majority.\" But your cousin clearly cannot accept this arrangement of fate. She wants to rebel but feels that the force in the universe is too strong. \"Tradition\" may sound somewhat self-righteous, but the truth is that ignorance is not the same as tradition. In this era, choosing procreation as the purpose of marriage is not ignorance, what is it??? Ignorance is the greatest evil. It reminds me of the famous scholar Wang Guowei's farewell letter: \"At fifty years old, I only owe death. In this ever-changing world, I will not allow myself to be humiliated again.\" R.I.P.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: This information will make all family and friends sad. Although it has been a year, you still can't forget it. I believe your emotions are very strong. Since it is an analysis, we can only look at it from an analytical perspective. After all, the person is gone and the truth is unknown. Let's analyze together, hoping to bring comfort to your heart. Analyzing the problem: 1. You have a cousin, a PhD student, gentle and filial, average-looking. She has always been the kindest to you. She is the eldest sister in the family, and her parents are traditional, hoping for their children to succeed. It's always heartbreaking to hear stories of such outstanding girls. The labels of \"eldest daughter of the family,\" \"gentle temperament,\" and \"hoping for the daughter to succeed\" put so much pressure on people! No matter how good she is, she is just a girl! 2. In your memory, she has never had any scandals and has never disobeyed any elders. She has always been waiting for her Prince Charming. But she got married at around 34 or 35 due to age and the need to continue the family line. You think her husband is not that great. (\"Never\" disobeying elders? This is the scariest thing because no one can live their life completely according to others' wishes, especially since she has received a higher education. It is unimaginable how distressed she must have been to compromise for the sake of continuing the family line.\uff09 3. But in an ordinary day with no wind or waves, she quietly avoided everyone's gaze and went to the capital city's Zhijiang Bridge (the river is turbulent with no bottom, where she decided to end her life. People say: she did not hesitate, couldn't be stopped. (A person has the \"instinct to survive.\" You can imagine how desperate a person's heart must be to choose such a rebellious act against parents and betray everyone's \"loving\" eyes, leaving in a way that is so \"irreversible.\" She must have been in extreme despair and had the courage to choose such a death.) 4. The brother-in-law and her parents said: they don't know why, but the suicide should be due to postpartum depression. (Without the accumulation of suppressed things, where would the \"depression\" come from? It is a reaction caused by a long-term inability to release. In normal circumstances, she couldn't let go, but it would only erupt when the hormonal levels are disrupted after giving birth. If someone had noticed earlier and provided help and guidance, perhaps this tragedy could have been prevented. There's a saying: \"Loneliness is not because of loneliness, but because nobody understands.\") 5. When this event reached your ears, it had already been a year. You were shocked and couldn't understand why she chose to end it. Why did she choose a way that would erase everything, that even her body couldn't be recovered... (So, you found out about it a year after the incident. No wonder you can't understand. I don't know how much younger you are than your cousin, or whether you have experienced the \"group pressure\" from the family. As the eldest daughter of the family, she never had her own opinion, a pressure that ordinary people cannot understand. If I hadn't constantly broken through obstacles, I would have ended up like your cousin.) Confronting the problem: \"My cousin committed suicide, and I feel panicked. What kind of mental anguish did she go through?\" ~ I know you must be upset and alarmed. She has a higher education, is knowledgeable, understanding, has never disobeyed her parents, is already married with a child, everything seems so \"perfect.\" So terrifying, but these are what everyone sees. But has anyone cared about her true feelings, whether she's happy or willing to passively accept everything? The power of the original family is significant; sometimes it makes a person completely lose themselves and live like a puppet. But the meaning of life is about one's own significance, independent personality, rather than having the kite string held in someone else's hand. Your cousin is just one of the many pitiful girls. ~ Her abyss is indeed difficult for ordinary people to understand because, for 35 years, it has been like purgatory. She has never been released. I guess that when she walked onto the overpass bridge, it was the best moment of her life because she finally made a decision herself, even if that decision was \"death,\" she did it without hesitation, without regrets. It was because when she was once \"needed\" and \"seen,\" no one paid attention to her. This time, everyone noticed her. Closing words: I wish you can open up soon! I wish her all the best in heaven! If you have any confusion, feel free to private message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner. Unfortunately, your loved one has experienced this, and perhaps you have heard various information about depression from hearsay, but this time due to the cousin relationship, there is a need to understand it. The causes and manifestations of depression include physiological factors and psychological factors, such as genetic factors and the onset of other illnesses. Intense and continuous stressful events in life can lead to long-term low mood, feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, decreased ability to function, and delayed cognitive abilities. People with depression often have no visible physical symptoms, so they are often overlooked by those around them. The suicide rate among individuals with depression is as high as 12%-14%. Currently, the World Health Organization classifies depression, cancer, and AIDS as the three major diseases of the 21st century. Depression causes serious physiological suffering, such as difficulties in sleeping, feeling of restricted breathing, recurring headaches, chest tightness, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, weakness, and some may experience loss of appetite and poor digestion. Psychologically, individuals with depression often feel that their lives are gloomy, pessimistic, hopeless, and their willpower is diminished. They may blame themselves and experience anxiety. Mild cases often have thoughts related to death, while severe cases may actively seek suicide or repeatedly attempt it. In terms of behavioral abilities, individuals with depression may show slow thinking, slow speech, delayed responses, and prolonged stiffness. Among all the symptoms, emotional symptoms are the most prominent. Individuals with depression often self-blame for small things and have severely low self-worth, believing that they cause all bad things. Another clear characteristic is a decrease in motivation. Most people can get up and go to work normally, but individuals with depression may find it difficult, lacking the motivation to act immediately, and lacking the drive to do anything. Research on self-help methods for individuals with depression indicates that physical exercise is one of the most effective methods. Experts point out that aerobic exercise can improve and reduce stress levels, reduce anxiety in individuals with depression, and combining exercise with one's hobbies can bring joy to both the body and mind, achieving the best effect. It is recommended to exercise 3-4 times a week for 40-60 minutes each time to effectively reduce the occurrence of depressive moods. As for postpartum depression, without knowing the signs before your cousin gave birth, if her husband says it is postpartum depression, a medical diagnosis is also needed to make a judgment. Professional doctors compare data to draw conclusions: the incidence of mental illness in postpartum women is higher than in non-pregnant women. After pregnancy, estrogen levels in postpartum women drop to baseline levels. Due to the rapid decline in estrogen levels, dopamine D2 receptors in the brain become hyper-sensitive, and the expression level of dopamine transport protein in the brain increases, leading to corresponding changes in depressive emotions and behavior. How to help individuals with depression? There is a vivid metaphor for depression, saying that it is like a black dog. In moments of despair and darkness, the individual feels lonely and helpless, so as a family member, it is important to be there, be a good listener, help share the household chores, and alleviate the burden on their hearts. If depression is diagnosed, it is important to understand the individual's symptoms and provide timely care, but avoid treating them differently, as this may increase the patient's feelings of guilt. I hope my answer is helpful to you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "The incident involving the cousin of the original poster reminded me of a 38-year-old female doctor who recently jumped off a building with her 6-month-old child. Many people cannot understand what could have happened to this adult woman, who carried the title of \"doctor\" and was a mother, that would lead her to make such a decision, to leave this beautiful world with her young child. For this female doctor, her child, and the cousin of the original poster, perhaps death was the best way to escape the extreme oppression, fear, and pain they were experiencing. They no longer needed to live under the scrutiny of others or face the pressures that they could not comprehend, accept, or bear. Just as the original poster mentioned, \"My cousin is a Ph.D. student, gentle in nature, filial, and the eldest sister in the family. Our parents are very traditional, hoping for their sons to do well and their daughters to marry well. She has never been involved in any scandal, nor has she ever shown any resistance towards our elders. She has always been hoping for her Prince Charming. However, she only got married at around 34 or 35 due to her age and the pressure to have children. I don't think her husband is that great.\" These pieces of information reflect the extreme oppression that the original poster's cousin is enduring. Growing up in such a family with strong traditional beliefs, as the eldest daughter, she carries the fervent expectations of her parents to achieve great success. She is expected to live her life according to her parents' wishes and cannot dare to have independent thoughts or a life of her own. Consequently, she feels a lack of acceptance, recognition, and love from her parents, and she also fails to recognize her own existence, the value and meaning of her life, thus easily falling into anxiety, fear, and a sense of insecurity. She then becomes even more powerless to resist or break free from her parents. Even in such a situation, the cousin of the original poster still holds a beautiful expectation for her love life. She has been hoping to meet, love, and be with her inner Prince Charming, but these beautiful hopes appear feeble and powerless in the face of her parents' expectations in real life. She is unable to resist her parents, but she is also unwilling to give up her own painful expectations. When her suppressed emotions become unbearable, jumping off a building can release her from the misery caused by these circumstances. It can free her both physically and mentally, relieving her from carrying so much pressure. This is why no one else can influence her decision. Traditional cultural beliefs are not entirely inappropriate. Just as Professor Wu Zhihong said, it is the concept of \"filial piety\" (\u5b5d, xi\u00e0o) that has \"kidnapped\" Chinese parents and makes it impossible for them to change their position. They demand that their children must obey their requests without ever daring to resist. Otherwise, it would be considered unfilial. Parents use societal morals to bind and restrict their children. However, personally, I believe that \"filial piety\" can be understood in the following way: when parents are old and weak and in need of their children's care, children can first satisfy certain needs of their parents. This does not mean that children should fulfill all of their parents' demands. If it is reasonable and appropriate and if the children are able to do so, they can fulfill these needs. However, if it is unreasonable and inappropriate, and if the children would have to pay a great price and bear a heavy burden to meet these demands, then it can be considered not to fulfill them. This is the right and capacity of the children themselves. It does not mean that sacrificing the interests of the children to meet the needs of the parents is filial piety, and refusing to sacrifice the interests of the children to fulfill the needs of the parents is considered unfilial. It should be evaluated based on specific circumstances.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. Thank you for the invitation, it's my pleasure to give you some advice. Through your words, I can see the shining points of your \"kindness\" and \"care\" for your cousin. I can also sense your \"fear\" of the unknown regarding depression and perhaps some \"confusion\" about planning for your own life. Your cousin is very talented, and it's truly regrettable that such a person is lost to the world. She can be described as a \"well-behaved girl\" in the eyes of others, the type of person that everybody likes. Perhaps you are very envious of her possession of so many qualities and feel inferior yourself, but as events unfold, some consequences have shattered your perception and definition of this \"excessive excellence\" type of person. Personally, I believe your cousin may have a \"pleasing personality type\" and perhaps lacks the opportunity to reflect on her \"self-awareness.\" You mentioned that your cousin has always been outstanding from childhood, the \"child from someone else's family,\" but what about her original family? As her relative, you may not have a complete exposure to her original family, so thoughts like \"my cousin is really outstanding, I can't understand her actions\" might arise. Therefore, what we need to realize is - *the way she shows herself to us might be very different from reality *every occurrence has its reasons *we should start recalling and reflecting on our \"original family\" from this moment *we should also start implementing our \"self-awareness\" *we should gradually build our \"life plans\" ... Furthermore, you mentioned that \"your cousin hopes to find a Prince Charming,\" I wonder if this includes the idea of \"not compromising\" or \"having overly idealistic expectations of love.\" Both possibilities exist. If your cousin is unwilling to compromise - *settling for less, not willing to \"defy\" elders, going against her own wishes for marriage *her true self conflicts with reality, and she becomes \"entangled\" *she consoles herself that things will get better, but she can't defy her own inner voice after marriage *when she becomes a mother, the \"child's factor\" will also become an important influence on her emotions If your cousin holds fantasies about love - *she thinks your brother-in-law is the right person, \"idealizing others,\" having a feeling of being blinded, and after marriage, the reality may be far from her expectations *also, she didn't have a good self-awareness when she was young, and when she becomes a mother, it might be an opportunity to gain \"self-awareness,\" but the blow to her is too great *in this way, her life becomes \"confused,\" and she hasn't found a suitable outlet, thus heading towards extremes. In fact, it may be hasty to conclude that your cousin's condition is \"postpartum depression.\" Everyone has a \"moment of awakening,\" just at different times. It is lucky to encounter someone who can help us through difficult times when we \"awaken.\" After experiencing this, I believe it will be of great help to your personal growth, and you will have your own views on life. However, \"rational objectivity\" is something we must adhere to. From now on, \"find yourself and follow your heart.\" I wish you all the best.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "This may indicate that human nature is complex and not influenced by material conditions. Everyone has a hidden suffering that is difficult to express, regardless of how glamorous they may appear. People are often not as they seem on the surface, just like on social media where everyone presents themselves carefully. Everyone hides their pain and struggles deeply. Therefore, we should respect each person as much as possible, not to judge others recklessly, and treat everyone gently. Perhaps someone's life could be saved by you. Things are not always as they seem on the surface. You may see a full-time housewife married into a wealthy family, living a worry-free life and spending their days playing with their children. You may envy them, but you may not know that they are like a caged canary, lacking freedom. Maybe they long for a career of their own instead of revolving around the family all day, but for the sake of their children and family, they helplessly give up their own lives. You may see a successful career woman earning a million dollars a year, and you may think they have a worry-free life, going in and out of high-class places every day. But you may not know that when they go home, they are alone, despite having a luxurious mansion. The absence of family warmth and laughter renders everything somewhat ironic. The famous American comedian Robin Williams shone brightly on stage, entertaining both the audience and those off-stage with his humorous and witty words. As an actor, he must have had a considerable income, but he chose to end his own life due to the torment of depression. Depression is a real illness. Depressed individuals do not choose to be unhappy, they genuinely cannot feel happiness. Research has shown that a deficiency of certain neurotransmitters in the brain can directly lead to emotional problems. For ordinary people, things that used to bring them joy no longer have the same effect. Severe cases make them lose all motivation and even contemplate ending their own lives. Perhaps your cousin is ill, and it has nothing to do with external conditions. Even if she is a winner in life, she cannot avoid the invasion of depression. Sometimes the cause may be external, such as postpartum depression, or it could just be genetic. Some individuals are more susceptible to depression. That is not your cousin's fault. Furthermore, as you mentioned, your cousin only got married because of her age and the desire to have children. Perhaps she is not happy in her marriage. Can you imagine being with someone you don't love all day and even going through the pain of having a child for them? Some people can endure it, but others cannot. It varies from person to person. Perhaps this was one of the last straws that broke your cousin's back. Postpartum depression is also a real issue that several mothers around me have experienced, but thankfully, they were able to overcome it. Perhaps you have underestimated the complexity of being a mother. Taking care of a newborn is a mentally and physically exhausting task that requires 24-hour care. At the same time, the hormone changes due to childbirth and breastfeeding can cause drastic mood swings. A previously calm person may become agitated or burst into tears. Being a novice mother, who has never experienced this before, is a significant challenge. If the family environment is even a little bit difficult, such as an inconsiderate husband or difficult in-laws, a breakdown is just a matter of minutes. Your cousin is now gone, and no one can know why she made such a choice. The only thing we can know is that she was once in great pain, in despair, and her emotions were so intense that she could give up her education, job, family, and child just to seek her own liberation. This is a sad story. Let us hope to have more respect and understanding for the deceased and less baseless criticism and speculation because we will never know what the other person has experienced. Most importantly, let us not judge anyone with colored lenses because everyone's life is not easy.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description of your cousin, it seems that she is usually a very disciplined person and can be considered a good girl in various aspects. It is difficult for you to understand why someone who is successful in their career and has a good personality would commit suicide. Actually, it is easy to understand. On the surface, she appears to be disciplined and obedient, but these aspects are actually important factors contributing to her depression. People who are prone to depression tend to have extremely disciplined ways of dealing with things, especially with themselves, and your description of your cousin confirms that she is such a person. This kind of disciplined and self-respecting person is more likely to suffer from depression compared to someone who may seem carefree. In your description, you also mentioned that your cousin had hopes for a Prince Charming, but the person she ended up marrying was not the type she liked. This discrepancy between reality and dreams may also be another reason for her suicide. Postpartum depression could have been the trigger for her suicide, and perhaps your cousin couldn't bear it for a long time. You shouldn't think too much about it, your cousin's suicide has nothing to do with you. She simply couldn't handle the excessive constraints on herself and chose to leave.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21806
 },
 {
  "question": "I am single and bisexual, does this belong to same-sex dependency or something else?",
  "description": "I have known friend A for many years. I am single and bisexual. She is older than me and married. We often have flirtatious conversations and she doesn't reject it. Sometimes I ask her if I can sleep with her, and she agrees. Recently, due to work reasons, we were transferred to work together and she is my boss. We still interact as before. I have hinted to her that I really like her and it seems like she enjoys our relationship too. One time during a gathering, I was drunk and kissed her. She didn't reject it and finally gave me a response. We both knew that this was not the kind of relationship between female friends, but afterwards, we didn't mention it again. After a few days, I confessed to her, saying that I really liked her in a same-sex way. She rejected me, saying that she has always seen me as a colleague and a younger sister, nothing more. I was quite shocked because we had been maintaining this kind of interaction for so many years, and she knew that I liked her. But now she clearly states that we are just colleagues and that she sees me as a younger sister, and she says she will treat me like before. I am confused. What does she mean? Everything seems to indicate that our usual interactions are more than just ordinary colleagues. If we were just colleagues, why would she flirt with me and allow me to kiss her? She is desperately trying to draw a line between us. What is her psychological state? Now I have to face her every day at work and I can't escape from the situation! It is distressing.",
  "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your confusion, why did A suddenly say \"I only see you as a sister\" after receiving your frequent gestures of goodwill? And why did she rush to distance herself from you when you had deep feelings for her? Working together and seeing each other all the time makes you even more anxious, right? Regarding your question about \"being same-sex dependent,\" I think it is necessary for me to respond. Same-sex dependence is a common psychological transition phenomenon during adolescence, occurring between the ages of 14 and 18. Same-sex dependence is not the same as homosexuality. Homosexuality refers to the continuous display of sexual tendencies towards the same sex from adolescence under normal living conditions, including thoughts, emotions, and sexual behaviors. Same-sex dependence refers to a psychological cognitive obstacle during the process of a middle school student's growth, understanding of oneself, understanding of physical development, and curiosity about the opposite sex. Same-sex dependence wants to meet only in moments of loneliness, without sexual fantasies (such as the desire of the weak to be protected by the strong, admiration, etc.). It is a friend who can chat well emotionally and relies somewhat on each other mentally. When it comes to same-sex dependence, each individual should determine their own standards and should not easily label themselves as homosexual. When same-sex dependence is strong, one should pay attention to cultivating their emotions and thoughts. Because I don't have a comprehensive understanding of you and your emotional life, I cannot make judgments or comments about which category your situation belongs to. If you feel deeply confused about this, I recommend seeking evaluation from a professional psychological counseling organization. As for why A suddenly became cold towards you and acted as if nothing happened, it may be because she only enjoyed the ambiguity, or it may be because she has a family and doesn't want to betray them. To understand what she really thinks, you need to communicate with each other. However, I believe it is necessary to remind you that she does have a family after all. I hope my answer can help you. Wish you a happy life!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ Enjoying ambiguity and being able to set boundaries when necessary is actually a quite normal phenomenon. Regarding why some people like ambiguity, one answer goes like this: \"No burdens, no future, ambiguity is a way of living in the present. Approaching silently, leaving quietly, it's all about understanding. There are no restraints and control in love, no jealousy, and no unnecessary disputes. People who enjoy ambiguity are like well-behaved children, each getting what they need without needing to consider too much. It's so comfortable to have a trade with emotions.\" From a psychological perspective, everyone has emotional needs, and sometimes they establish connections with others through ambiguity. When you confessed to her and she rejected you, it's only because she doesn't want to develop a further relationship with you. After all, objectively, she is already married, and you both face a lot of pressure being in a same-sex relationship. When she says that she will treat you the same as before, it's because she doesn't want to ruin the good relationship between you. In other words, she can only accept being friends with you or maintaining some level of ambiguity, but she cannot be with you completely. Your confession may be seen as crossing a line for her, so she will promptly defend her boundaries. Although I can understand love between people of the same sex, I still hope that you can fully realize the problems you are facing. Any love cannot be forced. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "\u3010There will always be friends to know in the world\u3011Dear friend: Hello! I saw your words and it seems that you are confused and in pain. Confusion is not being able to understand how someone who was once very close can become distant. You are in pain because you have to face her every day. This situation can indeed be troubling. How to understand someone going from being very intimate to being distant? 1. I have seen some best friends who are so close that they can kiss each other. It's hard to understand, but those with an open mind, especially abroad, can. In this case, she simply treats you as her best friend. 2. There are also situations where she wants to test if she is bisexual. Sometimes girls get tired of boys and want to try liking girls because they feel that the same sex will understand them better. That's why she doesn't set any boundaries with you. However, she realizes that she cannot be with a girl, so she withdraws. But the key issue is how to face the dilemma of being once close and later distant every day. \u3010First\u3011Go back to yourself 1. Find the focus of your own life and divert your attention from her, going back to yourself. Take care of your own emotions and physical condition, reducing your emotional dependence on her. 2. Learn to empathize with yourself, which is the best way to rely on yourself. Being able to make up for the missing aspects of the original relationship can only be achieved by having a good reliance on oneself. This will also generate a sense of companionship and reduce loneliness. 3. Develop other interpersonal relationships, chat with colleagues or friends, the power of a small group can make you feel a sense of belonging and companionship. 4. Develop your own interests, further your education, learn something new, and do what you have always wanted to but haven't done. This will help reduce your dependence and attachment to her. \u3010Second\u3011Respect the other person Every person who comes into our lives teaches us something before they leave. 1. Respect the other person's decision, return their choices, and be willing to clearly define a boundary with them. 2. Forgive and accept the things they do that surprise you. 3. Be grateful for the attention and love they once gave to you as your best friend. \u3010Third\u3011See opportunities for the future Understand what you like and what kind of person, what sexual orientation, what background suits you better. There will always be friends in the world that you have yet to meet, so you don't need to worry too much. I wish you find your own happiness! Your friend: Audrey.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello Lou Lou! I just read about your experience, and I want to give you a virtual hug and comfort you. First, let's analyze the main reasons behind this situation. It seems that you are unsure about your friend A's attitude and why she had a 180-degree change. Now, let's see how we can alleviate your confusion. You can schedule a time to talk to A because communication is the most effective method. You can directly express your doubts to her. Here are two possibilities: 1. A might have been playing around casually and may be curious about the feelings involved. 2. A might have been attracted to the novelty of your relationship but lost interest over time. These are just my analysis, but I recommend having a conversation with her directly. It will be the most effective way to resolve the issue. I hope my answer can help you. May you solve your problem soon. Take care.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the title owner! I've carefully read your question and can sense your dilemma and pain. It's regrettable that you cannot be with the person you like. Hugs to you! She is your boss and already married. She didn't refuse your advances when you kissed her or had flirtatious interactions in daily life, but she rejected you when you confessed your feelings. Now, you are confused about why she continues to treat you as she did before she rejected you. You wonder what the reasons for her rejection are and how to face her at work. Let's imagine what her psychological state might be like from her perspective. \"I'm married, but I've met someone I really like who also seems to like me. I don't want to lose her.\" - She might feel lonely inside or be hiding something, and you may be able to fulfill her needs. \"She confessed to me, but I still have a family and a promising career. How can I give up everything and fully commit to her?\" - She may not be willing to give up part of her life or simply doesn't like you enough. \"To avoid hurting her, I will take care of her more in our work and personal lives. I also don't want to completely avoid her.\" - There may still be some form of attachment or significance to you. Now that things have come to this point, how can you alleviate your pain? I have a few suggestions for you, but please note that they are only for reference: 1. Try switching roles and treating her as simply a colleague or someone of less significance. Although it may be difficult at first, gradually getting used to not deliberately avoiding her and engaging in casual conversations like any other colleague may eventually become a habit. 2. Attempt to shift your focus by participating in social activities and meeting more like-minded friends, redirecting your attention from her to other areas. As the saying goes, the best way to forget about someone is to start liking someone else. 3. Give it time. Almost nothing is impossible for time to heal. Adjust your mindset, release your emotions, and confide in someone about your difficulties. If you truly cannot face her, you may consider changing your work environment when you are fully prepared. There's no need to suffer for someone who doesn't love you. I hope these suggestions can help you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello. I guess what makes you feel pain is the sudden disappearance of the intimacy that once belonged to you both, which has left you at a loss. At the same time, you feel confused about who the real her is, but because of work, you have to deal with her as your boss, and you don't know how to interact with her. This complex emotion may be mixed with anger, sadness, and other feelings.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11147
 },
 {
  "question": "I always get stuck at the stage of understanding. Why can't I have a normal romantic relationship?",
  "description": "It is said that most people do not have secure attachment relationships. Why can they have normal romantic relationships and get married, but I cannot? Every person I encounter seems to get stuck at the stage of getting to know each other and it is difficult to develop a deeper connection. I have an avoidant attachment style.",
  "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, and relationship management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "1. This is simple, just think about the relationship between yourself and your parents. How many good relationships do you have from childhood to adulthood, including childhood playmates, kindergarten friends, elementary and secondary school classmates, colleagues and so on? 2. It is difficult to establish intimate relationships, which may be due to the difficulty of building interpersonal relationships. In life, it is necessary to show love to the people around you, such as smiling at people you meet, greeting them, and providing assistance within your capabilities. For example, in my case, there is a property staff member named Xiao Zhou in the lobby downstairs where I live. Whenever I have extra things that are intact, I would give him a portion. I save the cardboard boxes at home for him, and I greet him warmly every time I go up and down the stairs. As a result, whenever I go to pick up a package, my package is always placed at the front, neatly arranged, all thanks to Xiao Zhou. Therefore, relationships between people are mutual and emotional. 3. In daily life, ask yourself more about what you have contributed to the people around you and less about what you have gained. Include more focus on what you have given and less on what others have received. For example, as you mentioned, why can others have normal love and marriage? That is because you are focusing on what others have gained. Why can't I have it? That is because you are focusing on what you have gained. At this time, you can instead focus on what you have contributed to others in order to have a normal love and marriage.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 6685
 },
 {
  "question": "This year during Chinese New Year, I plan to introduce both our parents. However, we broke up and he brought his things to my house?",
  "description": "A few months ago, we broke up, but today is his birthday and he suddenly brought those things over. He didn't mention getting back together. I offered to give them back to him, but he said he moved and won't leave his new address for me.",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, managing relationships.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello, if the relationship is irreparable, the best way to ease the pain is to slowly move on, not dwell on it, and focus on your own life. From your description, I can sense your confusion. The other person brought you something, but didn't mention getting back together, and also didn't leave an address. Perhaps they wanted to completely deal with everything related to your relationship and move on, cutting off any lingering thoughts. When you asked the question, you may have been hesitant about reconciliation. If you are absolutely certain that you won't reconcile, then it doesn't matter what the other person does, you will be indifferent. First, clarify your own thoughts: do you want to get back together or firmly break up? If it's the former, you can communicate with the other person, express your feelings, and ask about their thoughts. If it's the latter, just continue living your normal life, let go of the situation and the person. Heartbreak teaches us about another side of ourselves in intimate relationships. Although you may have lost something, you also gained unique experiences and feelings. Perhaps at this stage, you may have moments of being lost in your thoughts, recalling the sweetness when you were together and the tearing issues that are equally vivid. Forgetting a person or a memory takes different amounts of time for each individual. The fastest way is to love yourself, do things you enjoy, eat things you love, and watch stories you like, and live the life you want. Take it slow, both you and him will have your own stories and endings. Good luck.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15218
 },
 {
  "question": "Female, 25 years old, feels more secure in front of her father.",
  "description": "Actually, staying at my aunt's house is pretty nice. The environment is better than my home. But when my dad came to pick me up, I felt a sense of security like never before. I felt extremely happy. Why do I feel more secure in front of my dad? I felt like a child at that moment.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "First of all, congratulations on feeling happiness and safety with your parents. It shows that your original family is filled with love, which is very important for your life. Secondly, leaving the original family is also a process. Everyone has to leave, just like birds eventually leaving their parents' nest. It is important to try to experience the world and especially to try to live independently, exploring ways to live harmoniously with the world. It is normal to feel nervous when leaving parents, even if it's to live with an aunt. Learn about the habits and routines of your aunt's household and find common ground with yourself. Believe that it won't take long for your nervousness and unease to gradually fade away, and you will become braver.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15867
 },
 {
  "question": "How can I make myself braver?",
  "description": "From childhood to adulthood, I have always been timid and afraid to go out to work or even travel alone. How can I become brave?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "It has nothing to do with bravery. When going out, it is indeed important to pay attention to safety. Take various safety precautions in advance. Be cautious when using public transportation, taxis, and private cars. Connect emergency contacts when using ride-hailing services like Didi and leave a record of your itinerary. When going out for work, choose reputable companies and rent accommodation through legitimate channels such as agents or relatives. Inform your family of your travel plans and stay in touch. The world is not as safe as we might think, so it is better to be cautious.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13619
 },
 {
  "question": "I am experiencing hereditary hair loss and I am concerned about how it may affect future generations. What should I do?",
  "description": "I have inherited hair loss, and I still don't have a girlfriend. I am afraid that a girlfriend would mind this and I am also worried about the impact on future generations. I feel very anxious.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Regarding the question, I will share my perspective from the viewpoint of a woman and an outsider. Regarding the impact of genetic factors, you can consult experts in the relevant field to determine whether it is inherited from generation to generation or disappears after three generations. How to alleviate the impact on you... Love is about mutual improvement and progress. If someone loves you only for your appearance, then when you age, they may stop loving you. However, if it is true love, this won't be a big issue; it is just a small imperfection of a person. Being honest from the beginning is important. If someone chooses to be with you despite this reason, it means they won't mind in the future either. Just remember, I am telling you this from the start and you accepted it before being with me. Fathers also have imperfections, and mothers don't object, right? You have the example of their love right in front of you. What will come, will come. Being afraid will only make you avoid and not face it. It is better to be brave and confront it. Genetic hair loss is not a big deal. Nowadays, with technology being so advanced, there are methods like hair transplantation, right? Solutions always exist.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP, the issue of hair loss can be considered as one form of various appearance anxieties. If you ask whether girls would mind your hair loss, think about it: would you mind if a girl is overweight or short? From my perspective, if I like a boy, would I be bothered by his baldness? I don't think so. My thought is that he can wear a wig in front of others and be completely uninhibited when we are alone together. We would actually become closer because of sharing this secret. Similarly, hair loss is something that we can get used to over time. Being together is not like a TV drama, where the main characters have to be perfect in every way. As long as we are on the same wavelength and adapt to each other, it's fine. As for the issue of having children, that can be resolved with modern medicine. Taking preventive measures is also not a problem. In addition, if you are still doubtful, you can consider getting a hair transplant or scalp follicle treatment to potentially eliminate the problem. Be proactive in seeking solutions. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14404
 },
 {
  "question": "What happens when you are constantly criticized and nitpicked?",
  "description": "Will being criticized and nitpicked frequently as a child turn someone into a person who also loves criticizing and nitpicking others when they grow up?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Title Master, hi. 1. Indeed, there is a possibility that, apart from becoming picky, the person being criticized can easily fall into a low self-esteem personality. If you feel that you have the habit of being picky and criticizing others, and feel that this habit is detrimental to your interpersonal relationships and self-improvement, you can consciously adjust it. 2. Low self-esteem personality is due to receiving too much criticism and long-term lack of recognition, which makes it easy to accept the other person's viewpoints and difficult to break free from the compulsive repetition. The self-esteem we understand comes from love and feeling capable. Love makes us have goodwill towards others and hope to establish friendly relationships with them. When we are in a friendly relationship pattern, the conflicts and external resistance we feel decrease, and naturally we will not always view others with a harsh eye. 3. During our growth period, if we receive too much criticism and feel restricted in every aspect, and feel that we lack control over things, we can regain it through work and self-realization. We bid farewell to our caregivers, seek good job opportunities, and strive to create value in our work, thereby gaining respect and inner satisfaction. All of this can slowly heal the trauma caused by demanding standards.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I don't know who often criticizes you, whether it's your parents, colleagues, or friends. When being criticized by others, I think you can reflect on yourself. Look at yourself and see if there are any areas where you are truly lacking, and if so, make improvements. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that others are always right. If everyone says the same thing, it means that you do have a problem. Also, if the people who criticize you are not doing it just to bother you, it can actually be beneficial for you. They want you to become better. Because someone criticizes you, you will constantly strive to find your shortcomings and gradually make changes. This way, you can become more and more excellent, and your life will also become better. In every aspect, as long as we can recognize our mistakes, it's a good phenomenon. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5179
 },
 {
  "question": "Seventeen-year-old girl, likes girls, tries to test her parents and they say they absolutely won't agree?",
  "description": "I am a 17-year-old girl who likes a 20-year-old girl whom I met last year. At that time, she was in her third year of high school, and I was in my first year. We slowly started hanging out together, but I feel like I have developed feelings for her. Whenever I see something, she's always on my mind. If I see her talking to a boy, I get angry and jealous. In August this year, I vaguely expressed my feelings for her, but she didn't have much of a reaction. A week ago, I told her seriously that I like her. Actually, I had mentioned it a couple of times before, but I wasn't as serious as this time. I spoke firmly and asked for a response. She agreed, and I was very happy. Now I am happy every day and constantly think about being together with her in the future, wanting to marry her. However, before being together, I asked my parents for their opinions on girls being together with girls. They were very firm and said they didn't like it and wouldn't agree. They asked if I felt the same way, and I said no, but the truth is, I do. But I am afraid to tell them. In my parents' eyes, she is just a very good friend. I'm afraid if I tell them, they won't let me contact her anymore. Now, I think about growing up and marrying her every day. Today, I called my grandmother and told her that I saw news online about two girls being together.",
  "keywords": "Love, Sexual orientation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Child, hello! Sending you a warm hug! A 17-year-old girl has developed feelings for a 20-year-old girl. This love is as beautiful as a blooming flower, but you are also worried about the opposition from your family and parents, so this love is adding pressure to you. Child, do you understand what homosexuality is? Do you know what it means to be homosexual? In the 1990s, researchers found evidence of the existence of a gene associated with homosexuality by studying DNA on a chromosome. There are also acquired factors. In the environment of their upbringing, parents may not have provided appropriate gender role models for their children, leading to incomplete gender self-identification. For example, a girl might have difficulties identifying with her mother, resulting in obstacles to the formation of gender roles, and so on. Some individuals may also be influenced by societal trends. Same-sex relationships are becoming more and more common, and some countries even provide legal protection for same-sex marriage. There are also people who identify as bisexual. Considering that you are not yet an adult, it is possible that you are unsure about your future and which category you fall into. However, based on your description, the attitude of your family is a major concern and a significant source of pressure for you. You need to understand that when choosing a path that few people take, opposition and criticism are inevitable. It takes great courage to continue on this path, both for you and the person you love. Nevertheless, love itself is beautiful and there is nothing to be blamed for. We should respect everyone's emotional choices and ways of life as long as they do not harm others. You are still young, so learn more about these aspects and think clearly about your future path. Don't blindly follow the crowd. In any case, you have the right to choose your own path in life. If you are sure, then walk that path with determination. I wish you happiness! I hope this can help you. Thank you for your question!",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 1963
 },
 {
  "question": "Is there something wrong with me feeling inferior due to family poverty?",
  "description": "The financial situation in my family is not very good, and my parents work very hard. They really earn their money through blood, sweat, and tears, and it breaks my heart. But whenever the topic of my parents' work or our family background comes up, I find it difficult to talk about. Sometimes, I feel ashamed and afraid of being looked down upon. I don't want my parents to be seen as useless by others. I think they are great, but whenever I mention these things, I feel very humble. Sometimes, I think it's just my vanity getting in the way. Am I wrong?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "What you're talking about is a matter of perspective and consciousness. It's not right or wrong, and trying to explain it as such will only lead to confusion. Just like you said, you also think your parents are great, but you still don't want to mention the conflicting thoughts to others. In order to reconcile reason and emotion, we need to analyze the problem at hand. The greatness you perceive is in their personalities, while the embarrassment lies in their work and status. On one hand, you believe in your own parents without question, but on the other hand, you feel sorry for them and resent their lack of ambition. The reason for these two extreme thoughts comes from evaluations outside of ourselves. The family situation and status you described is the typical situation for about 80% of ordinary families: just scraping by. You've issued a warning to everyone that simply working hard is not enough to live a good life. That's why it's important to study hard and why it's so difficult for those from humble backgrounds to achieve success. When living in the lower class, where feeling embarrassed isn't enough to motivate upward mobility, when emotions clash with reason, all we can do is struggle and exhaust all our energy on the bottom rung. Becoming the master of our own emotions is the first step to a happy life.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Correct. People are insignificant. In the eyes of nature, humans are nothing. In the river of history, a person's life is just a moment in time. Even the great emperors in ancient times were just passing phenomena. But for each of us, we have the right to express ourselves and tell the world of our existence. It seems that we can make a difference in this world, as there have been miracles such as the Foolish Old Man who Moved the Mountains, N\u00fcwa Mending the Sky, and the modern feats of shaping mountains and creating seas. At first glance, we rush through each day, joyfully consuming food that will never return to our bodies. It may seem that in this competitive world, the sole purpose of life is to acquire material benefits. However, from a spiritual perspective, this viewpoint only scratches the surface. It is because we continually strive for progress that we feel fulfilled in life. As soon as one task is completed, another one follows, creating an endless cycle. For those who look forward, there will always be new horizons. Although we live on a small planet and busily engage with worldly matters, facing storms and hardships, life is extremely short. Yet, it is the unfathomable possibilities that make us continually pursue hope, just like the stars in the sky, which we cannot pluck. Hope and life are intertwined; hope extends to the very last moment of our lives and beyond. True happiness comes from the joy of embarking on a journey, not from reaching the destination. In the continuation of life, reaching one destination means starting another journey. Life goes on, the struggle continues, and even when life ends, hope does not. True happiness arises from the desire for what we don't have, rather than from the satisfaction of having everything. Desire is an eternal driving force, an invaluable asset, and an endless source of wealth. It is because we harbor desires that we live year after year in this joyful yet vexing world. A person with many hopes is spiritually wealthy. Life is just a repetitive play of birth and death, arranged poorly. To make life more exciting, we must bring light and color to this play. If a person lacks artistic hobbies and scientific knowledge, lacks the aspiration to serve the country and the ability to calm raging waves, then the world will be nothing more than a mosaic of colors, or a rugged journey filled with hardships, pain, and helplessness. But it is precisely because of desires and curiosity that people can patiently live on, finding pleasure in observing things and joy in meeting others, igniting a sense of happiness when they wake up in the morning. When returning home at dusk, they reflect on themselves and regain energy. Desire and curiosity are like two eyes through which we see the world, making it vibrant with colors. It is because of desires and curiosity that women can be stunning and captivating, and even a stone can arouse great interest. A person may lose all their material possessions and become a beggar, but as long as they have these two treasures, they can still find limitless happiness and embrace the future as always.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 2391
 },
 {
  "question": "It has been two years since the college entrance examination, but I still haven't been able to overcome the shadow of failure. What should I do?",
  "description": "In 2018, I failed the college entrance examination and ended up attending an ordinary second-tier normal university. Since then, I have become very sensitive to how others perceive me and crave admiration and recognition, especially from my college classmates. I have worked hard and consistently achieved the highest grades in my class, scoring over 500 on the English proficiency test, even though it is not considered high overall, it is much higher than my peers. However, I always feel empty inside because there are always people who are unfamiliar with me and compare me to the level of a second-tier university. It seems that one of my roommates even looks down on me. I want to focus on improving my education, but there are always many people who interfere with me and say things that make me very unhappy. I feel that there is a major problem with my mindset, it has nothing to do with others, and the person I should conquer is always myself. But what should I do to resolve this?",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, student growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, my college entrance exam didn't go well either, and for a long time I was also trapped by my previous exam score. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't overcome the hurdle of failing the exam. I can completely understand how you feel. However, the college entrance exam does not define your entire life. We are in the prime of our teenage years and have the ability to start over. Over the past few years, going through the disappointment of the college entrance exam, the confusion in college, and the struggles of the final sprint, I have come to understand that life is more like a marathon. Doing well on the college entrance exam only represents a good start, a slightly faster starting speed than others, but whether you can stay ahead or be overtaken by others is still unknown. So don't be disheartened, you still have the opportunity to catch up later. \"Know shame, then be brave\" is a phrase my teacher gave me. It is precisely because we know the pain and unwillingness of falling behind that we cherish the future more and seize opportunities. Be brave and don't care about the opinions of others. You are you, and how you live is up to you, not others. The prerequisite for gaining recognition from others is recognizing yourself! [I studied hard and consistently achieved the top scores in my class. I scored over 500 in the CET-4 and CET-6 exams, although it may not be high overall, it is much higher than my college classmates. But there is always a sense of emptiness in my heart because there are always people who don't understand and compare me to students in second-tier universities.] From your description, it can be seen that you did not give up on yourself because of failing the college entrance exam. You have set goals for yourself and lived a fulfilling college life! However, it can also be seen that you are not confident enough! You should understand that truly confident people are first and foremost seen by others, not the label behind you - your university. If you are outstanding enough, why should others consider your value based on your university? Only those who are not confident need to emphasize what they possess and who they are! Just focus on doing your best, don't worry about what lies ahead. This will simplify things and reduce a lot of worries! Walk your own path, bravely ride the waves! Take down that sensitive and insecure self, seize the opportunities in this prime time of your life. If you can't enter a top-tier university for your undergraduate studies, then give it your all in preparing for postgraduate entrance exams to get into a top-tier university. Study for a master's degree at a university that your classmates who used to look down on you couldn't get into. This will not only make up for the disappointment of the college entrance exam but also prove your abilities indirectly! Keep going!",
    "has_label": false,
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14861
 },
 {
  "question": "How to deal with an 11-year-old daughter who doesn't love her two-year-old younger brother?",
  "description": "Sometimes my older sister secretly beats my younger brother behind my back, and she doesn't listen to what I say either. My brother was born premature and has always been weak, so I have been taking care of him more. Now that my sister has grown up, she starts to resist and ignores what I say. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growth process, communication with children",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "~~I think as a mother, you feel very distressed about this matter. Everyone hopes their children will love and support each other, so I hope you don't feel too sad. Based on the situation you described, here are some suggestions that I hope will be helpful. I have seen many families with siblings, and occasionally, brothers and sisters may have conflicts. However, many older sisters have a loving heart for their younger brothers, and the younger brothers also care for their older sisters. This is a normal way of getting along. But from what you described, there is a little problem - you said that your daughter ignores you. As a mother, if your child is unwilling to communicate, it is actually worth more of your attention. You can recall whether you have repeatedly overlooked your daughter's feelings and requests, or rarely comforted her, or spent time alone with her, making her feel like \"mom is only mine at this moment.\" This is important because from the time you took care of her as a child until adolescence, she still needs your love. Take some time to accompany her. Only when she feels loved can she learn to love others. It's possible that your daughter hits her brother because everyone's attention is focused on him, and she doesn't feel loved. Of course, as a mother, you should also pay attention to whether your daughter has been influenced by bad role models, as this can also be a reason for character change. I hope you can take it seriously. After all, raising children is a big responsibility, and the educational approaches for boys and girls are quite different.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 9746
 },
 {
  "question": "Do I discover that I am really not good at interpersonal communication, is it due to my personality?",
  "description": "I have a question and need to consult with senior friends. I realized that I don't know any of them and even the juniors, I don't know any of them well enough to add them as friends. Then I suddenly remembered what my former roommate said about me being cold and distant in conversations. I don't feel that I am being cold, it's just that I am not good at expressing emotions. Many times, I don't express my emotions verbally but through my actions. I am more of the silent and caring type. Does this have anything to do with my personality?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, roommates, classmates, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, personality doesn't have a good or bad distinction, but character does. Recognizing your shortcomings in character is the first step to self-growth and change, but at the same time, it's important to be aware that every character type has its unique strengths. Based on your description, it seems that you are someone who is good at observing life and deriving your own thoughts from the details of life. You realize that you may be cold and not good at interpersonal communication, but you can also objectively see the strengths and weaknesses of your character, which is good. This type of communication pattern may be related to your character or upbringing. Perhaps you are a steady and gentle person, but at the same time, you are also timid and insecure. These strengths and weaknesses together form the real you, so it's important to both affirm your own value and try to improve your shortcomings. You can try to express your emotions, your needs, and your understanding of others in more words. This is a skill that needs to be cultivated. Language expression has a significant impact on others and is important for self-reflection. Our viewpoints, preferences, current emotions, and opinions of others all need to be expressed through language in interaction with others. To a certain extent, language allows us to present ourselves to others more quickly and effectively, and to have a more comprehensive understanding of others. Therefore, it is important to express what we think inside, whether it's just a sentence or two, it should be manifested. Being aware of others' emotions is a skill, and expressing our own emotions is also a skill. When you start trying to portray yourself with language, you may have different gains. Engage in some exercises and training in verbal expression, use your own mouth to express your inner world and thoughts, and increase opportunities for expression and interaction with others. Just like learning to walk, it starts from one step at a time. Learning to express oneself also requires continuous attempts and practice. Dare to reveal your thoughts. I believe you have your own inner perspectives, just give yourself some courage to convey them, whether your language is precise or vague, logical or chaotic, you should try to say it. \"A word from a wise man is better than ten years of study.\" It not only reflects the rich knowledge base and life experience of the speaker but also showcases their high level of language expression ability. I believe we have also had the experience where someone said something that hit the nail on the head, accurately expressing what we wanted to say inside. These abilities need to be developed and continuously practiced in interpersonal relationships. So, start from the first time you speak up to the people around you, express your feelings and emotions, and begin to experience the pleasure of not only expressing yourself but also empowering others through your words. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, introverted individuals may face disadvantages in social interactions, but they can gain the trust of others more easily if they can compensate for their character shortcomings with their abilities. Introverted individuals often possess exceptional observational skills and have a more meticulous thinking process. If you can identify problems that others may overlook and promptly raise them, your introverted nature can actually become an advantage. Introverted individuals often leave an impression of being reliable and responsible, which makes them suitable for important tasks. The downside, however, is that they tend to take on too much themselves and are often unable to express their thoughts effectively, resulting in their superiors taking credit for their work. When this happens, they often feel helpless and unable to change the situation, which leads to a sense of unfairness. In such situations, it is important to adjust and change your approach. Instead of confronting others directly, look for appropriate opportunities to showcase your true abilities and surpass your competitors. Avoid giving your competitors a chance by excelling in your field. Create more opportunities for personal growth and improvement in your work, gradually refining your character. When you encounter people with similar interests and connections, they will naturally be drawn to you.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 21814
 },
 {
  "question": "Is it strange to enjoy being alone apart from necessary social gatherings?",
  "description": "On regular rest days or holidays, apart from necessary gatherings, I love to stay at home and do things that I enjoy. I have many hobbies, such as opera, cross-talk, and classical musical instruments. Because they are niche interests, I prefer doing them on my own. However, the people around me always want me to go out more and make more friends. But to be honest, I find it difficult to meet people who genuinely want to be friends. Whether it's because they see me as aloof or cold, this is my true opinion. I even dislike going to crowded places, preferring to just lie in bed and watch dramas. Is this really strange?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, personal boundaries.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I saw you asking, \"Is it really weird like this?\" I want to know, if it is weird, what would happen? If it's not really weird, what would happen then? Would the answer of whether it's weird or not have an impact on your state of mind? If someone answers that it's not weird, would you still be bothered by \"yet everyone around me wants me to go out and make more friends\"? If someone answers that it's weird, would your true feelings and state of \"enjoying doing interesting things alone, finding it difficult to encounter people who genuinely want to make friends, preferring to watch dramas alone rather than go to crowded places\" change? I don't know what kind of answers these questions will have, or what weird or not weird means to you, what significance it holds for you. What I know is that if you ask different people, the answers could be different. For example, the people around you who want you to go out more may think it's strange not to like going out with people. There are also many others who think it's normal not to like going out with people, just like themselves (or someone they know). It's not a problem. So, for you as the questioner, what is your answer to \"Is it really weird like this?\"? Or have you ever thought that you can have your own answer? Do you want the people around you to think you're weird or not? What do they actually feel? Does it have any impact on you? I think even if someone gives you an answer like \"(I think) it's weird/not weird\", it may not necessarily resolve your confusion. But if you're willing, perhaps you can think about your own answer. What do you want the answers of others (those you care about) to be? How is your attitude towards your (enjoying solitude) state different from theirs? What kind of difficulties does this cause you? How can you cope with or change it? I hope you can find the answers within yourself.",
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  "questionID": 22336
 },
 {
  "question": "How can I cope with feeling upset when my friend retook the test but still didn't score well?",
  "description": "There is a friend who did not achieve a high score in the college entrance exam (gaokao) after repeating the year, and there is a significant difference between her scores in the exam and her regular performance. She feels very upset, what should she do?",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. When a friend is in a negative state, try to help them in a way that they would find beneficial. If you don't know what that is, you can try helping them in a way that benefits you. It's clear that you care about your friend and their feelings, but you don't know how to help them through this period. Because the potential outcome may have a big impact on them, comforting words may be falling on deaf ears. If you know how they usually cope with sadness and grief, you can use those methods to help alleviate their emotions. If you don't know, try using methods that help you quickly recover from sadness. There are many methods, such as silently accompanying them, going out for a walk or doing something fun together, or writing down your respective feelings and states, sharing and analyzing them with each other. You can also provide practical help, such as choosing a school or major. Often, we cannot fully empathize, but can only observe the feelings of others. Ultimately, it is still the person's own mindset that needs adjustment. Ask them how they feel, what you can do to help them, and what their considerations for the future are. Helping them clarify their feelings can help them identify the root causes of their discomfort and how to adjust their emotions. Even if you try hard to understand their feelings, it's okay if you still can't. Sometimes, just being there as a companion is a form of support. Your friend will find a way out and quickly return to a normal state through self-reflection and analysis. Best wishes.",
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  "questionID": 15825
 },
 {
  "question": "Life is filled with negative emotions, always trapped in a state of numbness, sadness, and pain, and constantly thinking about death. What should I do?",
  "description": "I don't want to die, it would be such a pity, but life is filled with negative emotions. What should I do? I think of myself as worthless, but I'm also unwilling to give up. So I try to study and live well, but these actions only make me feel even more useless and miserable. It's like all my energy is used to restrain my negative emotions. I easily become numb, miserable, and even think of death when I see an apple. In this state, I can't do anything. If I can't accomplish anything, I feel even more like garbage. I don't want to be like this.",
  "keywords": "Emotion, emotion regulation, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, when I heard your final sentence saying, \"I don't want to be like this!\", it gave me a great positive signal and motivated me. As long as you want to get better, life is not just negative emotions! Is this true? Will anyone believe it? Probably only people like you have this feeling. Of course, there are probably still many people like you. This is where the role of our psychological intervention comes in, and our value and significance are amplified! Believe in yourself, as long as you want to improve, there will definitely be someone who can help you see through and overcome the bad mood! Negative emotions are a vicious cycle, once you're caught in it, it's hard to escape. However, as long as you can see the role and significance of positive emotions, let them grow in your heart, the original emotions will be broken, a new virtuous cycle will be generated, and then it will grow stronger and become a towering tree, so you will be invincible. Negative emotions don't happen overnight, they have a process of occurrence and development, just like it takes time for ice to freeze three feet. Generally, after something happens, we have certain thoughts and opinions about it, which then generate certain emotions. We believe that emotions originate from events, and since we cannot change the past, we conclude that emotions cannot be changed, and thus emotions are suppressed and accumulated. The next time we encounter a similar situation, the emotions will flare up, and then things go awry, and emotions are accumulated again. The more they accumulate, the more they reach a point where we cannot resolve them, and then our mood is completely ruined. Things that are noticed all the time are interpreted with a negative meaning, and we can't even see or imagine positive things. So our sky turns gray! The fact is, our emotions are not caused by events, but by our qualitative interpretation of events. You must know that different people have different interpretations of the same thing. Isn't this the most powerful evidence? Since people are so attached to things, psychological intervention is best started from events that have occurred. After all, facts are the least controversial, most persuasive, and least likely to provoke resistance. Talk about what has happened to you, both recent events and the earliest ones that triggered negative emotions, so that we can analyze them better. Pure preaching is hollow after all. Conclusions based on facts are more influential, don't you think? If you don't want to share publicly here, you can also reach me privately, and I will do my best when I have time. I hope I can help you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP: You feel that your life is filled with negative emotions, constantly trapped in a state of dullness and misery. I think you must have encountered many unfavorable things to accumulate into this kind of state now. However, if you have such thoughts, do not let yourself continue to be trapped in this gloomy mood. Try to shift your attention, try to be interested in studying, in the people and things around you. Below, I will give you some suggestions, hoping to help you.\n1. Don't stay alone for long. If you are the only one at home, don't stay at home all day, go outside, breathe fresh air, and see the outside scenery. You can also find your good friends to go out and play together, and express your feelings appropriately to your good friends. Don't keep all your thoughts bottled up inside, it will make you feel worse over time.\n2. Exercise more, consume your excess energy. You can also exercise to consume your energy, so that you don't have too much energy to overthink, and it will also make it easier for you to fall asleep at night.\n3. Study hard, arrange your time properly. Study hard and set a goal for yourself. The goal doesn't have to be too high. Every time you achieve a goal, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will also promote your learning.\n4. Listen to cheerful music, watch funny videos or comedies. Music can relax people, listening to cheerful music can make you feel less painful. You can watch funny videos and comedies when you are in mental pain. These videos make you feel a sense of immersion and make you laugh heartily, temporarily forgetting the pain.\n5. Plant flowers and plants. Taking care of flowers can make people calm down. Water the flowers every day and appreciate them when they bloom. These are all beneficial to our mood and flowers and plants can also purify the environment and provide oxygen to people, which is beneficial to both mental and physical health.\n6. Raise pets. You can raise small animals that you like, such as cats or dogs, because small animals are very cute. They will always be with you, play with you, eat with you, and you can also chat with them (although they don't understand). But we can pour out all our sadness and pain to them. Especially dogs, dogs are loyal friends of humans. No matter how the owner is, they will not leave the owner. Among the above suggestions, the method I most recommend is raising pets, because I like dogs. If you also like dogs, I suggest you raise one. I had a period of depression, pain, and even insomnia before, but after raising a dog, I would take it out to play every day. Wherever I go, it follows. I would tell it all my troubles. The feeling it gives me is that it will always be with me and will not leave me. I hope the above suggestions can help you and I hope you can get rid of negative emotions as soon as possible. I hope that you will be proactive and optimistic in the future!!!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You are still in school right now, while I have just graduated from college this year. I know that each stage will come with its own set of problems, and some problems may persist for a long time. The predicament in life often lies in our own lack of accumulated strength, which prevents us from breaking free from constraints. In such situations, methods like avoidance, repression, or other attempts may become part of the problem. So, accept the current situation, just like how I must accept the pressure of finding a job and the uncertainties in the future. You are still in school, which is a very precious period. You have many resources to enrich yourself, explore yourself, and gradually accumulate strength for yourself. When your inner strength is strong enough and you have excellent skills to face the pressure of reality, you will walk with more ease because you have the strength to handle setbacks.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "As long as you are still fighting against your negative emotions, one day in the future, they will be resolved and you will overcome them. However, the process requires you to find a way to cope with them on your own. Start by understanding your current emotions and what you want to do. Learning is not just about acquiring knowledge; in life, you will encounter many challenges. When you are in a bad mood, you can learn how to manage your emotions. This is also a form of learning. You can also learn how to improve your social skills. Don't give up and make changes in your daily life every day.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Sometimes I also have such feelings, especially two years ago, when I felt so hopeless that I didn't want to live another day. But I had to keep going, I had to work because I have two children to support. I am their only source of support, so I worked hard, studied, and obtained certifications. It took me a year to slowly overcome my despair, and now each day is better than the last. Finding a good reason to keep going was crucial!",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 21156
 },
 {
  "question": "How to learn to interact with others independently and equally?",
  "description": "I feel a bit like a loyal dog when interacting with people of the same sex. But when interacting with people of the opposite sex, I have a strong desire for control. I feel nervous and restrained when interacting with strangers. It seems that I have rarely had equal relationships. In other people's eyes, my dad and I look like two brothers. When my dad walks ahead of me, I lower my head and look at his footsteps, following in his steps. I am too dependent on others. How can I learn to interact with others independently and equally?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, interpersonal boundaries",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your confusion about having different attitudes towards different people. Let's analyze the issue you brought up together. Regarding your father, you mentioned how you admire him when he imitates his actions and follows his footsteps while looking down. When interacting with people of the same sex, you project your father's image onto them, so interacting with the same sex feels like facing your father, causing you to have an unconscious sense of obedience. When interacting with the opposite sex, you may want to control them. Is it because your father is relatively dominant compared to your mother in your family and likes to dominate your mother? Under such an atmosphere, you have internalized your father's attitude towards women, resulting in a tendency to control women in your behavior. Being reserved when interacting with strangers may be related to how your parents often use negative language to evaluate you. With a lack of self-worth, you may fear expressing yourself in front of strangers and fear being criticized by others. Some feasible suggestions: 1. To establish independent and equal relationships with others, you need to first boost your confidence and establish a stable sense of self-worth. You can start by doing things that provide you with a good sense of self, such as setting small goals for yourself, such as running a few kilometers or practicing calligraphy. When you achieve these small goals, it will enhance your sense of control over yourself. Connect with people who are good at encouraging others, as their encouragement and positive feedback can also help boost your self-esteem and self-confidence. 2. Regarding the negative impact brought by your family of origin, you can heal yourself through learning and self-exploration. If it's difficult to overcome the difficulties on your own, you can also consider making an appointment with a professional psychologist for counseling assistance.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation to answer! We need to learn to interact with others independently and equally, not just superficially, but also in terms of psychological development. Have you ever thought about why you tend to be more compliant when interacting with people of the same sex, but have a strong desire for control when interacting with people of the opposite sex? When your father walks ahead, you lower your head, look at his footsteps, and follow in his footsteps. Is this a form of obedience and dependency? In your home, is it your father who controls everything, or does your mother have a stronger desire for control? You obey the stronger controlling party and at the same time learn the desire for control from them. Do they rarely give you the opportunity to handle things independently? Everything is decided by them, they don't trust you, they don't have confidence in you? You have no opportunity to exercise, no independent thinking, and no ability to act; you can only rely on others. Even if you have independent thinking and the ability to act, they do not give you the opportunity to demonstrate it, and you can only be forced to rely on them. Your display of strong control in front of the opposite sex indicates that you have the ability and the ability to think. Women usually consider themselves weaker than men, as if you are showing weakness in front of the strong and becoming stronger in front of the weak. When you rely on others, you often think you are not as good as them, but when you control others, you feel that you are better than them. So how can you balance these two extremes? At this time, you need to give yourself psychological construction: 1. In the face of the strong, you have stronger aspects than them; in the face of the weak, you have weaker aspects than them. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and everyone can rely on themselves to live a good life. 2. Learn to separate yourself from other people's lives, form your own thinking patterns and living habits, and cultivate the ability to think independently and handle problems independently. When you realize that you can become capable and have thoughts, you will no longer rely on others. At the same time, your weaknesses are also areas that need to be recognized and accepted by you. Only when you correctly understand and tolerate yourself can you stand tall and equal in front of others. In the future, when you are with your father, try to walk on both sides of him, look straight ahead, and tell yourself in your heart: \"My path lies ahead, I can walk my own path.\" When interacting with others, constantly remind yourself: \"We are equal, I am independent, I can rely on myself and do my own things well.\" Only by constantly engaging in psychological construction and training can we naturally and smoothly interact with others. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Dear friend: Through text, I can sense your confusion. Men represent the weaker sex, while fathers represent males and also symbolize strength. This reveals that you are unsure of how to balance the relationship between the strong and the weak. Controlling the weak actually suggests that you look down upon or disrespect the weak, or perhaps your own vulnerability. Relying on your father signifies your identification and desire to become strong, but you have forgotten your own power. To solve this issue, you must revert back to yourself. [First], appreciate your own strengths and qualities, as they are one of the sources of your power. Appreciating them is equivalent to recognizing and affirming your own strength. [Second], accept your vulnerability, which means not criticizing or looking down upon your vulnerable self. Weakness is a part of us, acknowledging and accepting it will help us understand how to face ourselves without rejecting ourselves, leading us towards reconciliation. [Third], appreciate the strong, but don't forget your own strengths. Being able to appreciate the strong is one of your strengths, but don't forget yourself or overlook your own qualities and abilities. In fact, the two can coexist without conflict and allow you to maintain confidence and composure in front of the strong. [Fourth], understand the weak, because you also have weaknesses and areas where you fall short. None of us are perfect or without flaws, and we can comprehend our own weaknesses as well as the weaknesses and shortcomings of others. The external world is a mirror, reflecting the unresolved parts within ourselves. Return to yourself, love the complete you, love your different states, and also love people in different states. Best wishes! Your friend, Audrey.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 9491
 },
 {
  "question": "How do you determine if you truly like someone?",
  "description": "I have a deep crush on someone, but whenever I see their pictures, I suddenly feel no affection towards them, this has happened many times. Do I really like them? However, if I'm not into them, I feel very sad and even cry when I think about them missing them. So, do I really like them? Or do I just like the idea of them in my heart and not the actual person in reality?",
  "keywords": "Love, singlehood, relationship management, affection",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You don't feel much when you see the person's photo, but you miss them and even cry when they're gone. (2) You want to know if you like them. Here's my analysis and advice that I hope can help you: (1) What does it mean to like someone? It's probably when you think about them when they're not around, feel nervous and shy when you see them, and maybe even have trouble speaking coherently. There may be an excited feeling in your heart when you see them, and the longing for them, even when you can't be together, makes you smile. You feel sad when you can't see them, but why do you want to cry? What do you think about when you cry? (2) You want to know if you like the person themselves or the image of them in your mind. This is simple; you can write down on paper what you like about them and what they're actually like. By comparing them, you'll figure out if you like the actual person more or the version you believe in. (3) Lastly, if you want to know whether you like them, pay attention to your inner feelings when interacting with them. If you find yourself seeking their attention even when they're being dismissive, then undoubtedly, you like them. But if you have reservations about meeting them, it means you don't like them. I hope you find your own happiness. #The world and I love you. Best wishes~",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP. First, I'm not quite clear if you have any real-life contact with him. When I say contact, I mean actual interaction, not imaginary. Second, genuine feelings develop through mutual communication. I don't recommend having infatuation without any basis in reality. Even if you have a crush, it is illusory, built on an unrealistic foundation. Such emotions are fragile. I suggest letting go. Third, I advise you to expand your circle of friends, experience relationships in practice, and deepen your understanding of your own emotions. Get to know yourself better. Keep going.",
    "has_label": false,
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   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21924
 },
 {
  "question": "I broke up with my boyfriend, and I know we're not compatible, but I still can't let go. What should I do?",
  "description": "My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up a month ago. When we were together, we were very sweet and loving, but we often argued over small things. I tend to overthink and often create conflicts, but he always escalated them. When I scolded him, he would use more hurtful words to hurt me and even threaten me. He said that both of us easily lost control of our emotions when we were together and continuing would lead us to hell. My family, who knows about our relationship, strongly disagrees with us being together, and he has lost confidence as well. I also understand that there is no future for us anymore, but just remembering the sweetness we had before and how nice it was when we didn't argue makes me feel incredibly lonely. We also imagined a lot of future plans together, and he was part of all my future aspirations. All my friends know about us, and suddenly not having him makes me feel helpless and lonely. I've been crying and unable to sleep, wanting to salvage the relationship, but I know it's impossible. He is also very resolute in his decision, and everyone around me is advising me to cut my losses. I feel so sad. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, arguments, and relationship management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hi, it is okay to feel sad and overwhelmed. That's your right. But what's more important is to love yourself. Make an effort to adjust your state of mind, just like how you would try to like someone. From your description, I can sense your current pain and sadness. On one hand, after breaking up with your boyfriend, your state of mind has been negative, painful, experiencing insomnia, and feeling helpless, etc. On the other hand, you know that it is impossible to recover the relationship, but you can't control yourself from reminiscing about the good times and sweetness. I can fully understand your current feelings, missing the other person intensely and reminiscing about the good times, being unable to focus on the present life. When you calm down, encourage yourself to slowly let go. But that person is still in your mind and has never left. There are many painful things in life, and heartbreak is one of them. However, those who don't take heartbreak seriously have also cried and felt overwhelmed, but they endured it. By enduring it, getting used to being alone, knowing that one day you will be happy and see the beauty of life again, that could be considered as no longer being sad. The person is still there, but you no longer care about them. There are many methods you can try, but before taking action, having a positive change of mindset and the motivation to move forward is crucial. What have you been doing over the past month? Have you completely immersed yourself in the heartbreak? Or have you persisted in doing your work, studying, maintaining a regular routine, and having a balanced diet? When you start making efforts to come out of it, then you will come out of it. Those who adjust within a month haven't loved any less, weren't less attached, weren't less in pain, they just understand that the future path requires them to start early or start late, it's the same. Perhaps you have shed enough tears, and insomnia has affected your state of mind, but what's next? Should you start to calm down and reflect on the gains and losses, joys and sorrows in this relationship? You can try recording all your memories together, both the happy and painful ones, whether it's in written form, pictures, recordings, etc. Once you objectively understand the dynamics between you, tell yourself to let go and turn the page. You can keep that record safe, but the things in your mind can slowly be ignored. Maintain a regular routine, eat well, sleep well, focus on your work and studies, it's okay to think of him, give yourself 10 minutes to reminisce, and then continue with the present. Slowly, you will overcome the state of heartbreak and move on with someone else. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 16319
 },
 {
  "question": "I am looking forward to an apology from my parents, but they are expecting gratitude from me?",
  "description": "I just graduated and went back to my family's company to work. Looking back, I was admitted to junior high school because of my father's connections. I performed poorly in the middle school entrance exam, but my father used his connections to get me into a prestigious high school. In the college entrance exam, I only scored enough to enter a key university on the 3+1 international program, which means studying three years in China and one year abroad. Once overseas, I worked hard and earned a spot in a foreign graduate school. Of course, my father provided me with financial support. If it were someone else helping me like this, I would bow down to them, but I have always hoped that he would apologize to me because during that time, I had no thoughts of my own and it was really difficult. Everything he did was to make me a perfect person. He set my standards for friendships and behavior. I have now graduated, and while watching a movie in my room, I instinctively put away the computer and took out my books when I heard footsteps. My colleagues say that my father has always been planning for me and even bought an office building for my sake. Now he wants to retire and let me take over his company, but as long as he is around, I instinctively act like a good obedient child, following whatever others say. So, I can't really take over. I plan to tell my father next year that I want to go out and live independently, earn money and pay rent myself. But every time I try to express my own thoughts, I get extremely nervous, and in the end, nothing happens.",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family control",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: A child who has been morally bound by his father since childhood, but one day he grows up and needs to have his own personality, needs to independently face many things. But the father still controls this child who already has independent thinking, like pulling the strings of a puppet. The father does not pay attention to the fact that his child is no longer a child and needs to go on to fulfill his own life, but he still holds on. Therefore, this grown-up child will be very distressed. Understanding the problem: 1. Just graduated and returned to work in your family's company. Looking back, your father used connections to get you into middle school. You performed poorly in the entrance exam and your father used connections to get you into a prestigious high school. In the college entrance examination, you only scored a 3A line, and your father used connections to help you get into a 3+1 international class, where you would study in China for 3 years and abroad for 1 year. Once abroad, you worked hard and managed to get into graduate school on your own. Of course, your father provided you with living expenses. (In the eyes of others, you must be the envy of others, but in your heart, this constant feeling of being controlled makes it impossible for you to be yourself. I can feel that you are grateful to them, but your words reveal helplessness. I believe your material life is abundant, but living at the mercy of your own will feels like being a puppet on a string. I can see that you are making an effort, you have worked hard to get into graduate school abroad, but your language returns to the issue of your father giving you living expenses, as if there is a kind of helplessness that you cannot break free from. Going through the process of relying on yourself and listening to your father's words has left you with a lot of conflicts.) 2. If someone else helped you like this, you would truly be grateful to them, but you have always hoped that he would apologize to you, because during that time you had no thoughts of your own and felt very uncomfortable. The things he did were all to make you a perfect person. Your criteria for making friends and your behavior must all be according to his standards. (It can be seen that your father is a relatively successful person in his field, and from the way he treats you, there is a scent of aggression and arrogance. Your use of contrasting words \"if it was someone else, you would bow to them\" implies that as a father he \"gave\" you life, but \"did not give\" you freedom. His \"perfection\" is your \"disaster\", his \"standards\" are to mold you into the person he wants you to be. Nowadays, many parents have neurotic problems caused by their own issues. Parents with ability force their children to do things according to their own ideas, while parents without ability use the lack of ability to blackmail their children. This is a common problem for people of their generation after they grow up.) 3. You have now graduated, and when you hear footsteps while watching movies in your room, you subconsciously put away your computer and take out your books. Your colleagues say that your father has always been planning for you and even wants to buy an office building for you. He now wants to retire and let you take over his company, but as long as he is there, you subconsciously become an obedient child and do whatever others say. Therefore, you cannot take over. (You have also been successfully educated by him to have neurotic problems. In order to play the role of his obedient child, your nervous system will switch from a rebellious child to an obedient child in less than a second. I am thinking, when will this child become an adult? When can he have independent thinking? I believe your father always has your best interests at heart, but he has forgotten that you are a person, an independent individual, not his personal possession, nor his tool. Of course, you cannot take over. You have not experienced the ups and downs of society, nor have you independently established a company. Taking over like this will only leave you even more confused. Is he coming to interfere?) 4. You plan to tell your father next year that you want to go out and live independently, earn money to pay rent by yourself, but each time you think about expressing your own thoughts, you feel extremely nervous, and in the end, nothing comes out of it. (You have been controlled by him for many years, and you have become \"used to\" everything he brings you. You have a lot of anxiety about the outside world because you don't know what will happen. So you have a fear of your father and speak in a non-assertive way, so the negotiations fail time after time. In fact, many young people accumulate wealth or knowledge step by step with their own hands. To have an independent personality, one needs to have independent thinking. Young people need to be financially independent in order to achieve personal independence. Otherwise, you will always be beneath your father.) Conclusion: Wishing you happiness and joy! Wishing you a future where you respect yourself! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hi, maybe you are also very concerned about psychological knowledge in your daily life. We often say, \"We owe our parents a thank you, and our fathers owe us an apology.\" Your question and feelings are completely in line with that. The influence of our original family is often like this. As long as there are similar environments and situations, completely identical response patterns will be triggered. Even if we know deep down that we have better ways and abilities, it doesn't matter, we will always be induced by old habits and patterns to follow the same track. Therefore, the best way to change is to stay away from people, things, and situations related to old patterns. Let yourself enter a world completely free from old traces and start establishing your own patterns. In this process, you will use your past abilities but from angles you never thought of. The self shaped in this process is the one you truly have control over, along with your life. Your feeling about it is correct, in your father's bought office building, you cannot catch it. If you want to work, you need to leave your parents and pay rent on your own. This feeling is indeed the way to save yourself, you are right. Perhaps you need to have a real conversation with your father. If you find it difficult to speak up or if old patterns prevent you from expressing yourself fully, I have a suggestion for you. You can find a mental health counselor for yourself, and during the consultation, the counselor may recommend inviting your father over for a conversation regarding family matters. That way, your thoughts and path will be heard by your father from the counselor's mouth, with a more objective, neutral, and scientific standpoint. Perhaps he will have a different perspective. And your father's stubbornness and giving, for him, may also be a matter of his own persistence and thought patterns. It is difficult to change it from your perspective, so it would be easier for the counselor to help him with this aspect. As for you, you may need to be prepared to either truly leave them and live a life within your own capabilities, which is a way to improve yourself that cannot be replaced by other methods. Or, after a period of development, you can find an opportunity to collaborate with your father in business, but this must be when you have grown well. During the counseling process, I have encountered many people who, once they are back in a situation with their parents, regardless of their actual abilities and the type of person they usually are, will revert back to their old selves in front of their parents, and those old patterns will resurface. So, this is a very serious matter for you. You have to make a lot of efforts to live as your true self. It is not a simple matter. If you need it, I will be here waiting for you.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, topic leader. The meaning behind \"I long for an apology from my parents, but they expect gratitude from me?\" implies that neither party has received the understanding and respect they desire. It is unfortunate that you and your father have not yet achieved full understanding and recognition, but instead have been walking on parallel paths, growing further apart without ever intersecting. I understand your current feelings and want to give you a hug. This may need to start with traditional Chinese education. Chinese-style education, rooted in Confucian culture, values gratitude and emphasizes filial piety. Therefore, parents may not even be aware of the harm their attitudes and behaviors have on their children. They firmly believe that their actions are for the good of their children. However, as children grow up, they begin to think independently, form their own thoughts and ways of life, and develop their own positions and ideas. They may even start to reflect on the past and their relationship with their parents, leading to conflicts. From your description, the following conflicts can be observed: in reality, you have been living under your father's arrangements (e.g., relying on your father's connections for middle school, high school, and university; eventually attending a prestigious university's 3+1 international program with your father's support)\uff1beven after studying hard and earning a graduate degree overseas, you still rely on your parents for financial support\uff1bas soon as you graduated, you started working for your family's company. However, your inner feelings are that you have no sense of self and want to become independent, but you don't dare to make decisions. For example, you have no thoughts of your own during this period and feel very uncomfortable. Your father's actions are all aimed at making you a perfect person, and your standards and behaviors must conform to his. Now that you have graduated, whenever you hear footsteps while watching a movie in your room, you instinctively put away your computer and take out your books. As long as your father is around, you unconsciously become an obedient child and accept whatever others say. So, you are unable to express your own thoughts and plans. You are in pain and dilemma internally. You should be grateful for all the help and support your father has given you throughout your journey. However, because of these actions, your father has not taken into account your true thoughts and desires. His excessive control and demands make you resistant to and unable to accept the current situation, even though it may seem good to others. Based on the above analysis, I'd like to offer some advice that I hope can help. First of all, it is clear that you have a strong resistance towards your father, but you may be reluctant to express your true feelings. Since you want to change, my suggestion is to find a suitable opportunity to have a good conversation with your father. You have already graduated from graduate school and are an adult now. Approach your father as an adult and try to communicate with him honestly and openly. If one conversation is not enough, try multiple times. Express your inner demands and thoughts to your parents, and if possible, reach a resolution and agreement through communication. Secondly, we cannot deny the great influence that the original family has on a person, especially the influence of parents. Some people may never be able to be themselves under the shadow of their parents, but it is not entirely impossible to solve this problem. Leaving your parents and living independently may be one option, and improving your own abilities is an effective way as well. No matter when, one's abilities are the most important. Becoming stronger and more confident through learning, improving work skills, practicing communication skills, and cultivating a strong inner self can bring you a different experience. When you can truly hold your own, your father's perspective on you may change. Lastly, regardless of the decision you make, you need to first understand what kind of life you really want in your heart and distinguish whether you are resistant to your father's excessive control or your current job. Personal growth requires determination as well as time and persistent efforts. It can be seen that you are actually a young person with ideas. You hope your father will give you an apology, which is actually an expectation of his recognition and understanding. He expects your gratitude, expressing his desire to be understood and recognized by you. It may be difficult to change others, but understanding should be easier to achieve. The happiness of a family relies on love, understanding, and tolerance. I hope my answer can be of help. I wish you the best, topic leader.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker. I can sense the deep anxiety and dilemma in your heart. On one hand, you want to break free from your parents' \"control\" and live an independent life on your own terms. On the other hand, you have grown accustomed to living under the protection of your father's wings, and the idea of being completely independent, with no experience, makes you incredibly nervous, to the point where you give up on it in the end. In Chinese-style families, it is not uncommon to see a phenomenon where parents expect gratitude from their children, while the children constantly wait for apologies from their parents. In the parents' perception, love may mean meticulous care and every effort made to protect their children, even if it means \"imprisoning the child in the family's cage.\" They overlook their child's true thoughts and desires. In this \"arranged\" pattern of behavior, what is actually reflected is a lack of \"boundaries\" between family members. Behavior, social interactions, and various aspects of life are all planned according to the standards set by the father, disregarding what the child truly wants. Behind the parents' desire for the \"perfect obedient child\" is a child who has lost themselves and instead nurtured a sense of \"lack of confidence\" in their hearts. The ultimate goal of each individual's growth is to achieve self-realization. Having an independent and confident self, not relying on others, is the fundamental basis for inner confidence. However, at this moment, you have clearly realized your need for \"independence,\" which is the beginning of a positive transformation. Your father wants you to take over his company when he retires, but at this moment, you feel that you are not independent enough and lack the confidence to do so. You plan to live independently next year, but you are too nervous to voice it out. So, let's analyze the reasons for this nervousness. 1. Maybe you are used to your father as an authority figure and rarely dare to express your own thoughts to him, so you are afraid of being blamed, rejected, or causing conflicts. 2. Perhaps because you have been protected by your parents from a young age, you are afraid that if you truly live independently, you may not have the ability to take care of yourself or earn enough money to support yourself. Or, do you have other concerns as well? From your expression, it seems that you still hope for an \"independent state\" where you can inherit your father's company under your own capabilities. In that case, it is relatively easy to reach a consensus with your father. You can try to communicate with him and express your desire to develop your own abilities and live independently. This desire can be relatively accepted by your father. If it is due to the second reason, often, the nervousness comes from the \"unknown,\" because you have never experienced it before and it generates fear. However, perhaps after a real attempt and experience, you may find it is not as difficult as you imagined. Also, please give yourself enough time and tolerance. For anyone, embarking on independence will not be a smooth sailing, effortless process. It is normal to encounter setbacks and progress intermittently along the way. Stepping back, even if it is not initially smooth, actually the \"cost\" is not that great, right? You still have various possibilities to make choices and try new things. Keep going.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Many paths lead to Rome, and some people are born in Rome. - How much boasting and envy are contained in this sentence. Either you say everything, or you apologize and thank each other, cancelling each other out. - You should speak out about your pain, regardless of whether they can understand or care. Anyway, you have to speak up and say, \"I'm not happy, I want to rely on myself.\" You say it, whether or not they care is one thing, but if you don't say it, they will always maintain that attitude. - I don't know if you've tried making such requests to your father. I'll do as you asked, starting from the grassroots level for one year (or a few years), you don't have to worry about me, I'll live on my own, earn my own wages, support myself. Let me try to see if I'm suitable for your position, and you can also see if I'm capable of taking over from you. Then, after one year, the change will happen naturally. Whatever the result, you will both have a reason to choose how to proceed. - There will always be a generation gap between parents and children. Just like your grandfather and your father are definitely not the same person. Actually, your father understands this, but he still wants to pave the way for you because it's a fact that he stands higher than you. - Fathers are all first-time fathers, and children are also first-time children. So, it's just a matter of who is willing to take that step. The person who takes the first step is often the winner. If the father takes the first step and apologizes to the child, he will receive the child's gratitude. If the child takes the first step and thanks the father, the father will still maintain his fatherly stance and believe he is not at fault. But the difference is clear \u2013 it is the child's acceptance that upholds the father's dignity. - The following is unrelated to the topic. Actually, being forgiving towards parents is a child's way of expressing gratitude. I hope you can become someone your parents can rely on, so that... you can witness their aging.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You have been through a lot, being able to have a clear understanding of your own state in such an environment instead of just enjoying the benefits. I admire you for that! However, you are also aware that after being bound by these demands for over twenty years, your self-worth and self-motivation are lacking. Moreover, do your parents know about these thoughts of yours? Do they approve of your beliefs? This needs to be assessed and can be gradually changed through discussions with your parents. If your parents fundamentally disagree with your way of thinking and believe that your journey is about shaping you into what they want, then they will definitely not agree with your ideas. Of course, if they are relatively open-minded, you can clearly express your thoughts and express your distress. Perhaps they can understand your difficulties. In that case, it is possible to have conversations that are beneficial to you and reach some consensus. However, your current situation is that you do not have the courage to have an equal conversation with your parents and can only play the role of an obedient child in front of them. This is actually entirely your own problem, and you need to make difficult changes for yourself, otherwise, you will suffer even more in the future. Either way, I suggest that you still need to develop this aspect of yourself, as it is important for you. After all, you are still young and life has just begun. Your self needs to awaken and you need independence and freedom. Of course, the matters concerning the family business are significant, and you need to weigh your options. Even if you become independent, the company cannot be handled casually. I hope you grow and mature, become independent and free. Keep up the good work!",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I am not an expert, and this is also my first time answering. If it can be helpful to you, that would be great. If not or if it makes you uncomfortable, then I apologize, just forget about it. Your title mentions parents, but the whole passage does not mention the mother. I think your father's control is part of the current problem you are facing. Think back to when your father was controlling you, what was your mother usually doing? What role was she playing and what impact did she have? Perhaps she was just watching coldly, mocking you sarcastically. Maybe she didn't dare to verbally support your father, or maybe she simply didn't care. Or maybe the family structure is incomplete, with the mother absent. Maybe your mother takes care of you like your father does, but treats you like a helpless baby. This might have been good during your childhood, providing you with ample motherly love, but as you grew up, this love became a burden. If you refuse, you may feel deep self-blame, thinking that you are heartless and how could you treat her that way. If you don't refuse, you will never be able to escape the control of love. You don't mention it, but I guess it might be because of face-saving reasons... But actually, it is very lucky to have a mother who takes care of you like a baby even at a big age. It's just not appropriate now, it should happen when you are in your forties or older, but now it becomes a burden. Since you are studying abroad, I don't think you will have any problems living independently. The incomplete family structure may be a practical objective issue or it may be on a psychological level. I think you need to face this part. Maybe you don't want to blame your mother or father, thinking that it would be disrespectful, and you don't dare to shoulder the gratitude your father has given you. But you should know that parents giving birth and raising you are not a favor, your arrival also gave them hope and happiness for the future. Giving birth and raising a child is the law of nature, nobody owes anyone, nobody is someone's favor. There are many different types of family patterns, many different types of parents, and you also have many choices. There's no need to burden yourself with such self-examination and strict moral standards. You are just being yourself, being yourself will not harm other people, including your parents. They love you and it's not just a matter of different ways, hurting in the name of love is still pain at its core. Be yourself, let parents and children be on the track they should be on, and the family will be happier and longer-lasting. Secondly, if you don't have the courage to break free from your father's control, if you don't have the courage to break free from symbiotic entanglement, think about the reasons why you are afraid to take responsibility for your future. Do you recognize your own abilities? Do you have confidence and a sense of control over your independent future? If you don't, or if you doubt yourself and lack confidence, then I suggest you think about the efforts you have made and the achievements you have made. Those are the real struggles you have gone through, there's no need to doubt, you can do it. I suggest you be your true self, accept the part of yourself that dares not resist your father's authority, that is not cowardly, it's just that you also love him. You can start by making small changes, not drastic ones, otherwise you will only face strong suppression. You can start by living independently and being financially independent. Move out of the house or live not far from home, your parents can accept that. Find a job and say it's for gaining experience in taking over the company. Your father should provide you with independent funding, just accept it. It's natural, he's not doing it to make you grateful or to control you, he just wants to help you live well. Take the opportunity, work hard, and take care of yourself. There's nothing wrong with taking over the company in the future, originally it's not wrong for you to take over your father's company. Don't go to the other extreme just to rebel. Finally, no matter what you choose, I hope you can find and be your true self.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Thank you for the invitation and here's a big hug for you! After reading your description, I can completely understand your desire to escape and be independent, and I also hope that you can have your own life. Firstly, as you described, you have been living according to your father's arrangements since childhood, whether it's the school you attend, the criteria for making friends, your behavior, or your job after graduation, everything has been based on your father's standards. I believe that during this long period of time, you have had countless thoughts of rebellion and independence, and maybe even expressed them, but you have failed because you haven't lived the good life that is true to yourself. Let's assume that in the middle school entrance exam, you could get into a good school through your own efforts. I believe your father wouldn't interfere with your choice of school. Of course, he is interfering because he wants what he thinks is best for you, and he wants you to do better. In your struggle against him, you chose to express yourself as \"inferior\", but it is actually harmful to you. Secondly, it's great that you want to be independent and find your own life, and I fully support it! Have you ever thought that your father doesn't let go because he thinks you don't have the ability to take care of yourself or the skills to strive for a better life? Right now, your job and living expenses have always relied on your family, and even if you were to rent an apartment to be independent, you would still need support from your family to pay the rent. So, trying to be independent by moving out and renting a place seems more like childish behavior. You can \"endure\" your father's arrangements for now, work hard to learn some skills, and even if you work in your family's company, be diligent and dedicated, earning a salary that reflects your own abilities and skills. Once you have the capital to be independent, then you can truly strive for independence! Finally, I sincerely wish that you can create a better life for yourself through your own efforts! Show your father what you are capable of!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It seems like you're a boy. In our tradition, it's ingrained in us to carry on our father's business, and it's hard to change that. Your dad has done a lot for you, helping you strive for better schools and choose a more promising major. It's apparent that he has his own plans, such as preserving the family legacy and ensuring his career continues. As his son, he definitely wants the best for you, that's beyond doubt. However, he has turned his own ideals into yours, making your life follow his plan, which may be the reason for your discomfort. Perhaps, as someone who has gone through it, he is worried that you may take the wrong path and tries to assist you more, but fails to realize that everyone's journey is only complete when they walk it themselves. Too much support can hinder our ability to walk independently. If he has made you feel coerced, then that is indeed his failure, and he can apologize to you. However, this requires you to communicate with him and make him recognize the harm he has caused you before he can make amends. Hoping for his apology would be a luxury that is unlikely to be fulfilled in a lifetime. Having someone to support you doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. Think about our childhood \u2013 without the love and support of our parents, we wouldn't have survived. If we still have support from others as we grow up, then it's not just one party's problem; both parties have responsibilities. How did you respond to your dad's treatment? Did your resistance make him aware? If not, then maybe you should also take some responsibility. I remember a mathematician in Europe, I forgot his name. Under his father's strict demands, he became the future of mathematics. When he reached his twenties and gained remarkable achievements, he fell into decline. After freeing himself from his father's constraints, he became mediocre and eventually became a librarian, and could no longer be called a mathematician. There's also Mozart, who also showed amazing musical talent under his father's guidance, but he didn't really resist his father's guidance. Of course, later on, his life was not very smooth, but that was mostly due to resisting the constraints of the times. In our hometown, there was a madman, a foolish madman. It was said that he had a university degree and wrote beautifully. Thirty years ago, in rural areas, a university graduate was quite intelligent. Unfortunately, he used his intelligence in the wrong way and ruined himself. You are very intelligent, with high intellect and clear thinking. That's your strength. However, apart from intellect, we also have emotional intelligence, and it seems that you and your dad are lacking in this aspect. Look at what you are doing, and you should go out on your own. Knowing that this will strongly conflict with your father's expectations, you still want to do it, but you don't dare to. I don't know how much you really want to be independent. I only see you in opposition, wanting to challenge him and prove that you are independent, free, and not easily swayed by others' will. You are strong, knowledgeable, and competent, but there are many ways to prove your uniqueness, and intense confrontation is the lowest one, yet you insist on using it. It seems your rationality has lost control, and you have started to imagine that everything will unfold as you imagine, even willing to pay a huge price for it. No one can truly understand you, not your dad, nor even yourself. Similarly, you can't truly understand your dad either. The lack of understanding creates fear. So we shape an image of each person based on occasional encounters, adding our own interpretations and imagination, and consider that as the true depiction, almost unchangeable. This method originates from how we perceive things, thinking that people are the same, disregarding the infinite plasticity of individuals and ignoring the mutual influence between each other. This becomes too rigid, leading to various conflicts. It seems like you need to have a good talk with your dad. First, find your own values, confidence, and their sources, respecting your own worth. Then, under the premise of mutual respect, show your confidence and worth, and find the possibilities for mutual development. If you can prove that everything you're doing is for your own good, without harming others, then your dad has no reason not to support you. However, if both of you only focus on proving yourselves right, emphasizing how you are doing what's best for the other, and forcing the other to accept your viewpoints, then the problem will never be constructively resolved. The existence and value of individuals are always the most important. A person who cannot see their own value, who lacks self-confidence and self-respect, cannot escape dependence on others. I hope you can first have a positive outlook on yourself, then actively communicate with the other person, see their positivity, and find flexible ways to resolve differences. Wishing you a joyful work and a happy family.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 992
 },
 {
  "question": "A 22-year-old girl always feels tired, inadequate, abandoned, and has thoughts of wanting to die.",
  "description": "Always lack confidence, always feel like everyone dislikes me, always feel abandoned, always feel like I am worthless, living every day feeling tired, really want to die.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hi, I once saw an article online where someone found a Weibo account belonging to the famous singer Zhang Jie. They discovered some negative comments he had posted, such as: \"There was a time when I really hated myself, the process was really painful, and due to inertia, I haven't gotten much better now.\" Can you see the similarities between this statement and your question? Even a big celebrity, someone who is admired by many and seen as successful, has moments of self-dislike and self-doubt. It shows that our self-perception and self-evaluation are often not objective. Compared to how others see us, we are more critical of ourselves, have higher expectations, and don't allow ourselves to make mistakes or be vulnerable. If a big celebrity can feel this way, how much more so for us ordinary people? In fact, it's not just you who thinks like this. Many people have moments where they doubt themselves, negate themselves, feel unlikable and unlovable, and think they are not good enough. But you need to know that these are just our feelings; they are not the truth. We are not as bad as we imagine ourselves to be. It's okay to occasionally have moments of self-doubt. Zhang Jie has had the same thoughts, but it didn't stop him from working hard in singing and in life. You can do the same. Despite having these feelings, you can still strive to overcome them, actively try to do something, right? When you feel tired, allow yourself to rest. When you feel down about yourself, actively do something that makes you feel better. When you feel that people don't like you, remind yourself that it's just your own one-sided thinking. You must never give up on yourself. The current you may not be able to imagine how amazing the future you can be! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20495
 },
 {
  "question": "I went through a breakup and still haven't completely gotten over it after two years. Do I have a psychological disorder?",
  "description": "I'm heartbroken and still haven't completely moved on after two years. Do I have a mental disorder?",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello everyone! Love is a timeless topic, and experiencing love makes one's life complete! Everyone's experience with love is different, but what remains the same is that every love story leaves a lasting impression, even a lifetime! Experience is gain. Regardless of how intense or light-hearted your past love story was, it was filled with emotions and reciprocation. This relationship has deeply etched itself into your memory, and because of its significance, whenever you encounter similar situations, you are able to reminisce about those moments. Thus, past memories are stirred, and you go through the torment of reliving those memories. This continues to happen, being triggered, experienced, and tormented, causing great pain in the early stages of heartbreak. As time passes, some memories fade away, and similar situations are no longer able to evoke more sorrowful memories. Or even if they do, you no longer feel sad about them. You will go through this process until fewer and fewer memories are invoked, and even if they still exist, they become blurred by new memories, and you will establish a defense mechanism against that past relationship. Gradually, as memories diminish and the defense mechanism strengthens, you will free yourself from the shackles of this relationship. You need more time and experiences to overcome this relationship, so try developing a new love or keeping yourself busy, both of which are good ways to move forward.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18747
 },
 {
  "question": "Is there any emotional connection between a husband and wife when the wife is sick and the husband doesn't want to spend money?",
  "description": "A couple, the wife got sick, it's a minor illness. At first, the husband was accompanying his wife to see the doctor, but as time went by, he no longer wanted to spend money on her treatment. Do such a couple have feelings for each other?",
  "keywords": "Marriage, marriage concepts, marriage management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Regarding the question raised by the OP, I am willing to share my perspectives. First of all, for a wife, I believe that a husband's role and function are not just limited to providing financial support for medical treatment. He is also a companion who provides emotional support. Therefore, if the husband is not willing to accompany, the wife may feel a lack of emotional support and it may also have an impact on her emotions during the treatment period. At the same time, this is also detrimental to the future long-term relationship. I think in this regard, it may be necessary for the husband to communicate and explain to the wife the reasons and purpose behind this decision.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 6907
 },
 {
  "question": "I finally know what the highest realm of philosophy is.",
  "description": "Hello everyone, I actually don't want to ask any questions because I have already understood the truth. I am posting this just to let more people know what the truth is. The reason why I am talking about this in the question and answer section is because I couldn't figure out how to post a status update, haha. Actually, last night I listened to that story about turning stress into a friend. I listened with headphones and didn't watch it. He talked about learning to turn stress into a friend, and I thought about it carefully. Actually, not only do we need to turn stress into a friend, but the truth is to turn everything into our own friend, like our inner thoughts, our brain, our organs, and everything else. We need to treat them as our friends and talk to them, have conversations. You talk about stress, emotions, and various psychological problems, and the final result I found is this: I haven't treated everything as my friend, I haven't sincerely treated myself. For example, how to control emotions, having emotions creates stress, and stress creates emotions. The most important thing is that I haven't treated everything as my friend. I always emphasize this sentence, which I believe is the ultimate root of all psychological problems. So after saying so much, how can we be friends with everything within ourselves? Use inspiration to respond to our inner selves. The word limit is restricted here, so I will just mention the first step: before going to sleep, caress your whole body, talk to them, and be affectionate.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Let me explain the detailed steps here, as there is a limited word count. The question mentioned the first step: before going to sleep, gently touch and talk to everything about yourself, including your spirit, brain, heart, body, and so on. Show affection and emphasize the desire to be friends with them. Try to understand their feelings as much as possible, and be enthusiastic. The second step is to consider their feelings at all times, which is the task in the early stage. You have done well and don't need to sense them deliberately. The unity of mind and body will happen naturally. Actually, these two steps are already sufficient. You need to be friends with everything about yourself. I can tell everyone a truth: the deepest part of a person's heart is always good. If you are more inclined towards goodness, you will be able to make friends with everything about yourself more quickly. As long as you discover the goodness within yourself, everything will fall into place. When you discover your own goodness, you will learn to analyze the thoughts of others' hearts. You must not give them advice directly. Start by engaging in things that they are interested in or believe are good, gradually get closer to them, and when the time is right, you can tell them these truths. They will listen attentively if they find you trustworthy. When making friends, do not only befriend good people. Learn to understand the mindset of bad people. Of course, you need to analyze whether the bad person is open to getting closer to you. If they are, start with things they are interested in or believe are good, even if you know they are bad. Slowly shift their thinking towards the positive side, without letting them notice. This requires a lot of difficulty because it is very hard for a bad person to discover their own goodness. You need to slowly experience and understand this by yourselves. I am just providing an outline, and it is up to you to fill in the details. Actually, even if you become friends with everything about yourself, complete unity is not possible. There will always be ups and downs in relationships, no matter how close they are. You should try to bring the relationship closer as much as possible. Truly understand the emotions within this and realize that only by understanding yourself can you understand others, and only then can more people understand you. This way, friends will naturally increase, right? I say friends, not close friends. Because I think it's pointless to say close friends, as a true friend will always be a close friend. So why talk about whether they are close or not? If a person doesn't understand you, then they are not your friend, so naturally they are not close to you. However, as long as you are sincere enough, everyone, whether good or bad, intelligent or ordinary, can become your friend. But this \"sincerity\" is infinite, as there is nothing that can be complete in the world. This also means that you can never be friends with everyone. Some principles are subtle, but as long as you are good at discovering, you can comprehend them. There is one more thing I want to tell you: if your subconscious mind and your spirit can reach 100% harmony, all problems will be easily solved. But as I said before, nothing is complete, so it is impossible to completely align them, and therefore it is also impossible to know the answers to all problems. Alright, that's all I have to say. You must learn to be friends with everything about yourself!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 8672
 },
 {
  "question": "Is the cause of anxiety disorder the disruption of control?",
  "description": "I am an only child/university student, and I'm currently 21 years old. In fact, I have had anxiety issues since I was little, possibly due to a lack of security, perfectionism, self-centeredness, introversion, aloofness, and a tendency to compare myself to others. Back then, I had no idea what anxiety was, and it was only as I grew older that I began to understand it a little better. Anxiety disorder may be caused by overthinking or a constant need to plan everything and ensure it goes according to our expectations. Isn't that why people buy insurance? In high school, I was recognized as an excellent student because I studied hard and achieved remarkable results. I was a true bookworm, but beyond studying, I didn't know how to do anything else. The black and white concept made me understand that studying was for obtaining good grades and achieving glory, rather than acquiring knowledge. Later, when I got into university, I realized that my nightmare had begun and my subconsciousness no longer worked. It was no longer about studying tirelessly to get good grades; there were other factors to consider, such as writing reports and social activities. This disrupted my sense of control, and I couldn't continue with my usual way of living. I felt anxious and unsettled. The changes in my environment and social interactions left me breathless. What's worse is that I couldn't control it; anxiety and panic attacks took a toll on me.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, anxiety, emotional regulation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, this anxiety comes from the disruption of your routine life of over a decade. You have always been a good student, and this gave you a sense of control. However, the adjustment to the new environment in college makes you feel uncomfortable and nervous. But since you are someone who wants to excel in everything, this type of anxiety is normal. You can temporarily reduce your participation in activities and gradually adapt.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18899
 },
 {
  "question": "How to win back my boyfriend after breaking up with him after 6 months together?",
  "description": "I broke up with my boyfriend of six months. Although it was not a long time, he loved me very much. However, I have been secretly contacting my ex-boyfriend behind his back, and he has forgiven me several times when he found out. But this time, I went out with my ex-boyfriend without telling him and took some revealing photos. When he found out, he couldn't bear it anymore and left me. After he left, I realized that I didn't want to be with anyone else, I only wanted to be with him. Can you please advise me on how to win him back?",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity, and trying to win back an ex.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "#After leaving me, I realized that I didn't want to be with anyone else, I just wanted to be with him. How can I win him back?# Your actions have had a significant psychological impact on him, but the reason for the breakup was something that both of you contributed to. He also didn't know how to handle what happened between you two, which made you believe that you were in a safe situation. This led you to do something that crossed his boundaries. Assuming you want to win him back, your first major challenge is to eliminate his distrust towards you. The prerequisite is that you genuinely cut off contact with your ex-boyfriend. After completely severing ties with him, you may have a chance to win him back. Then, you need to assess your interactions with him and act accordingly. However, be mentally prepared as he may be greatly provoked and may ultimately reject you. Are you willing to still try to win him back even if it leads to this outcome? This is also the difficulty you are facing now due to the \"comfort\" he created for you in the past. If you need to communicate, you can leave a message or send a private message.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1489
 },
 {
  "question": "Always procrastinating, unable to manage time, always rushing to meet deadlines.",
  "description": "Feel that I have a relatively serious procrastination problem, always unable to focus and efficiently complete the work at hand, find myself getting distracted and playing with my phone. Feel very useless, what should I do?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I would like to say that procrastination seems to have become a popular epidemic for everyone. Procrastination behavior can have different meanings for each person. It could be because the task is too difficult, or one simply doesn't want to do it, or maybe there are certain negative emotions or resistance associated with the task. Regardless of the reason, it is important to first accept and allow these emotions to exist before understanding the underlying causes of procrastination. Perhaps you desire to have more time to prepare for the task and achieve better results. However, this mindset can lead to anxiety, creating a cycle of anxiety-procrastination-anxiety, which can trap you in a vicious cycle. In reality, there is no \"better\" result. Accepting yourself in the present moment is what will provide you with the necessary motivation to take action. These are just some personal thoughts, and I hope they can give you some ideas.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 2661
 },
 {
  "question": "Is the child's reaction good or bad, is the child autonomous?",
  "description": "Children's English enlightenment begins at the age of 3, progresses intermittently, and seems to stagnate at the age of 6. We have tried many methods, but the child's response is inconsistent and cannot be sustained. It is frustrating.",
  "keywords": "Growth, development patterns, child growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP~~~ First, give you a hug. From your description, I understand that: 1. You want your child to have a good level of English and have been teaching them since they were three years old. 2. However, your child's response is inconsistent, and you are not sure if there is a problem somewhere\u3010A little analysis and suggestions\u3011: 1. During a child's growth process, different abilities develop unevenly, and the focus of development in each stage is also different. Therefore, there is a concept called age-appropriate education, where children learn what they can learn at each stage of development. Your early education arrangement for your child is well-intentioned, but is it beyond what is suitable for your child's current stage? 2. From the age of three to adolescence, children love to play and be playful. At this age, exploring the world and learning to communicate with others are still the main interests of children. Will the learning tasks you arrange for your child make them feel bored and therefore have fluctuations in their learning effectiveness? It is possible. I hope this can help you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 929
 },
 {
  "question": "Meaning of Existence",
  "description": "Why do I not want to leave even though life is so painful? What is there worth holding on to?",
  "keywords": "Growth, meaning of life",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello there! Life is a challenge for everyone. Dealing with various pressures and external factors of insecurity can be exhausting. However, just like a coin has two sides, happiness and pain coexist. It is precisely because life is not easy that the beauty we strive for, the achievements we make, and the love we receive from others become so important and irreplaceable. These precious things are the ones we cherish, don't you think? There are so many things in life worth cherishing and longing for. Overcoming difficulties and pain, creating our own value, is incredibly precious not only to ourselves but also to the world. The state of self-realization and the feelings that come with it are also deeply yearned for. I hope the above sharing can address your confusion. Take care! The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1349
 },
 {
  "question": "My little brother is very generous to everyone, but he only holds grudges against me. What should I do?",
  "description": "I found that my younger brother is very generous to everyone except me. When I was little, I did have a bit more pocket money than him for some reasons, but I often treated him to meals. So why is he so stingy with me now?",
  "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growth process",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "He is generous towards his so-called friends and buddies in order to save face and make them think highly of him. He may be generous towards his parents to get more pocket money or something. As for you, you have grown up together since childhood, perhaps you know each other inside out, so he feels there is no need to save face in front of you. Maybe you used to buy him food when he was young, so in his eyes, you are his... um... (brother or sister, I don't know, let's just say brother, don't get mad) brother, and it's only natural for you not to give him anything, and he doesn't feel burdened about it either. Actually, you don't need to care about whether he is generous towards you or not. Treat him as he treats you. Instead of spending time worrying about him, you might as well read a book you like, chat with friends, or play games. Don't care too much about how he behaves. After all, you are family. You will see each other all the time. Just focus on living your own life.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18468
 },
 {
  "question": "16-year-old girl, lacks confidence in front of older people?",
  "description": "It could be teachers, older students, older siblings, parents, or even relatives... Sometimes it could be competitors in the same field... Even if they don't know me very well or if we only know each other online, I still feel inferior and hesitate to express myself when communicating with them. It's much easier for me to feel confident and express myself in front of peers, as long as there isn't too much competition involved... Is it because I'm afraid of making mistakes and being compared to authoritative figures?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From your description, I understand that you tend to feel insecure when facing older people and feel confused about it. I'd like to ask if you have a specific definition of \"older\" in mind? Does it refer to those who are older in age, or does it encompass individuals who have higher status or knowledge, regardless of age? Different definitions may represent different attitudes and thoughts towards different things. Therefore, let's start by considering if there are any \"exceptions\" where you don't feel this way when facing certain \"elders\". By comparing these two situations, you can identify any differences in yourself. Perhaps this can help you think that while elders may have more knowledge and experience than us, it doesn't mean they are necessarily superior to us. It's important to maintain a respectful attitude towards them and actively learn from their strengths with humility. However, it's also important to remember that they are not necessarily better than us in all aspects, so there's no need to feel \"inferior\" to them.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11063
 },
 {
  "question": "Got scammed while shopping online, considering whether to file a complaint again with the police frequently?",
  "description": "Yesterday I saw someone advertising in the group about a method to make easy money. I decided to give it a try and ended up being scammed for over six thousand yuan. The scammer was very crafty and seemed to have a whole team behind them. I immediately reported the incident to the police, but I haven't told my parents yet. I feel like I'm going to be in big trouble when they find out. I deeply regret not being more cautious. After searching online, I discovered that there are many similar cases of this scam. The characteristic I noticed is that they ask for a large amount of money, unlike regular brush-off scams. They also claim that they will only pay after all the tasks are completed. They made me brush off four orders, which ended up costing me over six thousand yuan each. If I don\u2019t pay for the fourth order, they won't give me any money. Additionally, they asked me to transfer the money through a bank account, which makes it difficult to request a refund like with online purchasing platforms. I'm thinking about talking to the police again to see if I should file a case. It's just one misfortune after another.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, guilt and shame, panic and helplessness",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "If there is a kind of person in the world who cares about us very much, then it must be a fraudster, because fraudsters must deceive people sincerely. When such things happen, we need to be mentally prepared. There is a high probability that we will not be able to recover this money because behind these so-called professional brushing teams, there must be a complete industrial chain. Moreover, teams like these have certain technical support and involve a wide range of aspects, so the probability of recovering the money is very slim. Therefore, what we need to do now is to adjust our mentality and think about how to repay the loan we owe. Because there are many tricks in online lending platforms, we must be cautious. In light of the current situation, we should first understand how much principal and interest we owe for the loan, and whether there is a possibility of us being charged high interest rates. We also need to evaluate whether we have the ability to repay this money, as many online lending platforms have their own collection methods. Moreover, many students have ended up with huge debts because of this. So when it comes to the scam, we can report it to the police and let them handle it. As for the loan money, we also need to have a plan in place, and must not fall into another trap. When necessary, we can continue to seek help from our families, even though it may result in getting scolded or even hit. But we must evaluate our ability to repay the loan, after all, fraudsters only care about our money and do not consider our well-being. Through this incident, it is also a significant growth experience for us. 6000 yuan is indeed not a small amount of money, so when we are unable to do anything, we must promptly request help from our family members, as online lending platforms are not trustworthy. The world loves you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19829
 },
 {
  "question": "Inner conflicts are common, but how can one find out what they truly want?",
  "description": "Feeling inner contradiction and conflict, not knowing what exactly I want, being pulled by different forces, how to find out what I truly love and what I really want.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Poster: Hello! Thank you for inviting me to answer, sorry that recent matters have kept me busy and unable to respond in a timely manner, I hope you understand. A few brief words may not be able to fully empathize, but I understand your conflicts, dilemmas, and feeling lost. Sending you a warm embrace, and giving you a little bit of warmth! \"Feeling inner conflicts and being pulled by different forces, not knowing what I really want\" I don't know how old you are currently, or what stage of life you are in. According to developmental psychology, different age stages have different psychological needs, and each stage has its main psychological development tasks, such as a sense of security, trust, diligence, love, and so on. Depending on the social development situation we face, the social environment and personal development stage may differ, and the development goals in our real life also vary, such as learning, work, family, physical health, and so on. I suggest that you, based on your own reality, sort out the main development tasks and goals that are suitable for this stage. Then, evaluate what you have achieved and what you haven't, and see what strengths and abilities you possess, as well as the social support you have. Examine the different forces within yourself and see what they are. \"How to find out what I truly love and want\" Firstly, are you clear on whether what you want is in line with your actual situation, and if it exceeds your abilities? Determine if what you want to do or have is truly what your heart desires. Eliminate vanity, comparisons, impulsive desires, and aiming too high. Combine your strengths and abilities, and proceed step by step with practicality. If possible, try different fields, experience things you have never done or dared to do before, and see if you can find something that suits you. In fact, most people are not clear on what they want. Just focus on being the best version of yourself in the present moment, frequently asking yourself what your inner voice is saying, and follow it. Believe that slowly, you will find what you want. Congratulations and good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I can see that you are currently in a very conflicted and confused state. Not knowing what you want is not a big issue temporarily, but if you continue to not know in the future, then there is a problem. When we encounter setbacks in life, we often wonder about the meaning of our efforts and unconsciously start pondering this question. However, the meaning of our existence and what each person wants are different. To find out what you really want, you first need to think about what kind of life you want to live in the future and what kind of person you want to become. Alternatively, you can consider what kind of life you want to give to your family in the future. These can all be considered as your life goals. When you have goals in life, you will know what you really want. You will then take this goal as the motivation for your life, and with motivation, you will naturally know what you should do. Inner conflicts and contradictions are things that I believe many people experience. But no matter what you do or decide, as long as you don't regret it, it's fine. When doing something, make sure to do it without leaving any regrets. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5609
 },
 {
  "question": "High school students who are especially afraid of being alone, yearn for love but don't want to casually date, what should they do?",
  "description": "I'm in my second year of high school now, and many of my classmates have been in relationships. Even my best friend has a partner. Almost everyone I know has either been in a relationship or has had a crush on someone before. I feel like maybe my standards are too high because I've always wanted to be in a relationship but have never genuinely liked anyone. Whenever this topic comes up, I suddenly become serious, even if we're just joking around. I really long for that sweet feeling of being in love, maybe influenced by novels or something. I always feel lonely being single, and I'm especially worried about not being able to find someone I like in college or in the future. I crave love, but I don't want to enter into a relationship just for the sake of it. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Dating, being single, relationship management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Little cutie, it's true that sweet love also needs time to maintain. However, at the moment, we don't have enough time and energy, and sometimes we have to deal with the supervision of parents and teachers. So, this is not a good time for dating. But because people around us have liked someone or have experienced love, we have seen their happy smiles and the sadness after heartbreak. We are just worried that we won't meet the right person. Actually, we are overthinking a bit. First of all, we don't want to settle, so we definitely don't want our love to end in vain. However, you must have your own thoughts too, such as which university you want to go to. But maintaining a relationship will require a lot of energy and time, which may not be worth it. Secondly, we definitely want our significant other to be outstanding, so shouldn't we also make some effort? After all, in novels, the protagonists usually need to be somewhat equal, otherwise the chances of being together are much smaller. Lastly, our attitude towards love is that we definitely want to choose one person to spend the rest of our lives with, but we don't want to settle. So before we meet someone we have common interests with or who makes our hearts skip a beat, we can make ourselves better, increasing the chances of meeting outstanding individuals. If you are in college, I hope you can try dating. If you are in high school, my personal suggestion is to give yourself some time and focus on academics first, because we still don't have the ability to fully control our emotions. Therefore, don't be afraid of not meeting the right person. Birds of a feather flock together, and the people we want to meet will surely have a better platform. So, let's improve ourselves first. Love is not about settling. It's better to be proudly single than to compromise and love. You will definitely meet the right person. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "High school students, especially fear of being alone and longing for love but not wanting to casually date. Hello OP, first of all, I understand and sympathize with your situation, and I want to give you a big hug. Feel the warmth of the world. Actually, you are in your second year of high school, and you have one more year until the college entrance exam. You are not only facing the issue of dating. I understand this problem. Your classmates around you have all dated, and you also have some curiosity and desire to try it. It's more of a vague longing and curiosity for love, a sense of freshness. Of course, we can't deny the influence of peer pressure. Whenever many classmates around us are doing this and that, it's hard for us not to follow them and do things that don't really matter. I don't know if you have seen the movie \"Sadness Flows Down as a River\". The female protagonist Yi Yao was inexplicably targeted and bullied. During our school days, we often like to do immature and childish things. For example, many classmates like to bully a classmate, which is obviously meaningless, but if you're not afraid of others, if you don't bully others, you might be isolated and appear ungrouped. So a group of people's bullying has hurt one Yi Yao after another. So, the feeling of dating is somewhat similar. But what we need to know is that even if we feel lonely, we should not date just for the sake of it. That would be a compromise. What we need is to meet someone we like and are suitable for, and continuously improve ourselves, become better, so that you have the capital to be with someone you like. But returning to your current situation, high school, the college entrance exam is a relatively important exam in life. It doesn't decide your future, but it determines the temporary upper limit you can reach. That upper limit is a springboard that helps you recognize more things, see a broader world, and have a larger vision. So when you feel lonely, why not share some trivial matters of daily life with your friends, shift your attention, focus on your studies, and you won't feel so lonely. Or perhaps spend some time with your family and share your daily life at school with them. In college, as long as you're talented, versatile, and have your own unique qualities, it's actually very easy to attract attention and be noticed. Many people will like such a girl because she appears charming. So why not focus on doing well in the college entrance exam for now, and after the exam, you can do whatever you want? Maybe try to improve your skills, learn a skill like dancing or playing the piano, or anything else. Lastly, I want to share a saying with you: \"When you encounter a rainbow, you'll know there's a person.\"",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ Currently, you are still in high school, and it is indeed common to have thoughts about wanting to be in a romantic relationship at this age. However, because you are still in high school, I would advise you to focus more on your studies. The college entrance examination (gaokao) is a very important test in life. Therefore, we should take this matter more seriously and prepare for this exam diligently. Being in a romantic relationship takes a lot of time and energy, so if you choose to be in one at this time, it is very likely to affect your normal studying. You are still relatively young, and you should devote more time and energy to self-improvement, to studying. It is very common and normal to worry about not being able to find someone you like in the future. But I believe that liking someone is not something you find for yourself, but something that happens unexpectedly. And you also need to meet him at the right time and in the right place. If you choose to be in a relationship now like your classmates next to you, you may still face the pain of separation upon graduation. At that time, you will have to face the pain of heartbreak. Therefore, we should focus more on our own self-improvement, so that when we meet someone we like in the future, we can confidently stand in front of them and say, \"I know you are great, you are excellent, but I'm not bad either\". If you rush into a romantic relationship, it is very likely that you won't be able to go all the way with that person. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5052
 },
 {
  "question": "Female high school student, had conflicts with dormitory classmates and ended up being misunderstood and excluded by all the female students in the class.",
  "description": "Recently, I had a conflict with a fellow student in my dormitory. We have already discussed and resolved the issues, and I have apologized to her. However, she went to other dormitories and told others about the situation without explaining the reasons. One of them came to me and said sarcastic and violent things. She claimed to have a mental illness and that killing someone is not a crime. Since then, I have been unable to sleep at night, fearing that they might harm me if they unite. This has been happening for several nights now, and during the day, I don't feel like going to class. I have been experiencing intense dizziness, trembling, and severe chest pain. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, conflicts, roommates, classmates.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Encountering such classmates, you must be very afraid. Hugs for you (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 I have also experienced your experience, isolated and helpless, that helplessness and fear spreading in every night, being tired but unable to sleep, constantly on edge, worrying all night. In the dense darkness, you are alone, and for you who have received death threats, other people are like a terrifying hell. The daily anxiety and fear have made you feel dizzy and chest pain, seriously affecting your studies. You have already apologized and made peace, but you are misunderstood, verbally abused, and excluded by the whole class. You must feel very wronged. However, the conflict with your roommate has existed before, and because you are unable to confess to your classmates' misunderstandings in the face of your own past mistakes, and even unable to resist their exclusion. [You haven't complained about your roommate's exaggeration and gossip. You must be a kind person! ] \u2570(*\u00b4\ufe36`*)\u256f Don't be afraid. The classmate who threatens you with violence is just scaring you. Truly mentally ill people wouldn't do that. She can mock and threaten you for the conflict between you and your roommate, and understands the laws that murderers and mentally ill people don't go to jail very well, which indicates that she is unlikely to have a mental illness, and it's even less likely to be antisocial personality disorder (they usually don't admit they have a problem). She may just have poor emotional control. In short, she won't kill you. (She is more likely just scaring and intimidating you. Even if she has the idea to bully you, she won't act on it. The classmates' actions towards you are more verbal and emotional violence.) Don't be afraid. (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 The classmates' actions have already crossed into the realm of campus violence. I think the reason you didn't seek help from the teacher is that you are afraid of further deteriorating relations with your classmates, right? Are you still taking all the responsibility for the conflict with your roommate? You are afraid of conflict occurring, so you are not on the moral high ground, making it difficult for you to overpower all the girls in the class in terms of momentum? I think, since this is a misunderstanding, communication is the best solution. The exclusion and bullying from the classmates is the result of your roommate talking to others, causing misunderstandings. You can seek help from your roommate to help explain things clearly. You can seek help from the teacher to tell you what to do. If you are afraid of retaliation from classmates because of this, you can discuss with the teacher and stage a play - in a class meeting, \"criticize\" you and some classmates, in the form of a \"trial\" conversation, gradually resolving the misunderstandings between you and your roommate and other classmates. You can first explain things to some authoritative classmates in the class who are relatively neutral. Then, let them understand the whole situation and help you get out of this predicament. You can be proactive, you are really brave. If you can successfully overcome this difficulty \uff3c(^^)\uff0f, you are amazing! The world and I love you (\u02d8\u00b3\u02d8).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Little sister, hello! I feel really sorry and worried about your situation! First of all, no matter what conflicts you have with your classmates, if you are being threatened, you must immediately inform your teacher and parents, and not carry it alone! Because, some things are difficult to solve by yourself, you must seek help from teachers and parents, remember! Assuming you are in a safe environment, let's analyze the relationship between you and your classmates and see how to improve it: After the conflict with your roommate, you have already communicated with each other and apologized. However, you have encountered misunderstandings, exclusion, and even threats from other classmates in the dormitory. The root of this situation is the conflict with your roommate. If she didn't tell others, there wouldn't have been any misunderstandings, right? So why did she still talk about it after you apologized? One possibility is that she did not accept your apology. In that case, you need to continue the conversation with her until she accepts your apology. Another possibility is that she accepted your apology but felt the need to further intimidate you, so she told other classmates to support her. If this is the case, you also need to seek help, preferably from a teacher, and ask them to help resolve the conflict. Also, it is normal for classmates to form groups and back each other up when there is a conflict between you and a particular classmate. But why do you say that the whole class misunderstands and excludes you? Is it because you are overly nervous and have a distorted perception? Besides, even if you have a conflict with a classmate, it shouldn't have caused such an angry reaction from everyone! So, you also need to have a correct view of yourself. People grow by constantly correcting their mistakes. Don't be afraid, actively seek help from your teacher and parents, and overcome the difficulties you are facing. Everything will be better.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your message and I sense difficulties in your interpersonal relationships. First of all, I have to say that no one can get away with acting crazy and foolish and randomly killing people without legal consequences. If they are being violent, you should bravely report it to the police. In your current situation, you need to seek help from a teacher. If things escalate, please have your parents come to the school to help you deal with this conflict. For dealing with such interpersonal relationship problems, it is necessary to seek assistance from a mental health counselor. Wishing you a peaceful summer!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19026
 },
 {
  "question": "The person I used to like so much, turned out to be someone I realized I was completely blind to.",
  "description": "Why was it that the person I used to like so much turned out to be someone I thought I had misjudged?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "It's quite simple, in the past, I kept my distance from him and only saw his flaws. Now that I'm closer, all the flaws are exposed! Haha! What's the difference between love and like? Love is selflessness, putting the other person's interests first, let alone accepting their flaws! If you can't accept, what does it mean? It just means that your feelings for him are not true love. In that case, keep moving forward, the right person will appear eventually! Since you're asking, there must still be some attachment, not genuine dislike. If you indeed dislike this person, that's good too, clear love and hate, it shows that you're very rational, great! Life needs such smart detachment!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19392
 },
 {
  "question": "My son shows signs of bipolar disorder, excessive sleepiness, and is always eager to play with the phone. He does not want to go to school. What should I do?",
  "description": "My son has bipolar disorder. He is always obsessed with playing on his phone all day and refuses to go to school. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, mental disorders",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's true that mobile phones have a huge impact on us, but there's no doubt that they have also brought great convenience to our lives. Many parents may have a love-hate relationship with mobile phones because of their children. Nowadays, children play with phones more than their parents even know. Mobile games are a great temptation for children who haven't fully developed and can't distinguish right from wrong. Learning is a boring and dull process, while games are attractive, stimulating, and fun. I believe that many parents sometimes even become addicted to mobile games, let alone their children. It is absolutely unacceptable for children to not want to go to school because of games. The prime years of learning should not be wasted by games. You should set a fixed time for your child to play games every day. For example, they can play after completing their homework, but it should not interfere with dinner or bedtime. The situation you mentioned in the post seems to suggest that the child is also playing games at night, which disrupts their rest and naturally makes them unwilling to wake up in the morning, let alone go to school. Best wishes~.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5525
 },
 {
  "question": "Does not liking children mean that there is a mental illness?",
  "description": "Don't like children, unable to achieve that kind of tenderness, is it a psychological illness, or did you not receive affectionate treatment in childhood?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hmm, I really like your question because I also have some similar problems and concerns, so I can understand your feelings. Got it! I don't think so. I think the word \"disease\" is very interesting. We all fear it and want to stay away from it, but at the same time, we all long for it and want to get it because we can't stand the distress and guilt of harming ourselves, the feeling of powerlessness that we will be abandoned as soon as we have an illness, the guilt of not being strong enough, the helplessness in the face of natural disasters and man-made calamities, and the guilt of being a human and experiencing so many hardships but unable to forgive ourselves for being human, etc. All of these make us afraid of disease and make me desperately want to conceal, desperately want to pretend that we are just ordinary people without wounds, and don't want to be abandoned. This makes me even more curious. Is the intention of disease and wound only to make us fragile? It seems that the answer is not like that. Oh! I gradually understand that the reason why disease exists and causes us pain is to make us aware and better heal our wounds, let go of the guilt and resentment of the past. Oh, it turns out that the reason why wounds emerge and make us dislike them is to let us see, just to see. So what can be called a \"disease\"? What can be called a \"wound\"? When I heard your description, I could deeply relate to it. Because I am the same way, I dislike children because they are innocent enough, fragile enough, and make me hate my own weakness and fragility when I was a child! It reminds me all the time that I can't be as weak and fragile as I was as a child, that I can't stand up for myself and swallow my pride! One time, I saw a little girl sitting on the ground crying, and my first reaction was envy. I envied her for still being able to cry on the ground and have the right to be understood. It seems that I was born deprived of the right to cry and be allowed to cry because it would make my family sad. Because as an adult, I should always smile, I should be mature and different from when I was a child, which makes me feel that crying is not an instinct, but an unparalleled right. It makes me feel that crying, this instinct, is sacred and inviolable, belonging to children, and a fragility that terrifies adults. I hate this fragility, hate making me feel jealous all the time, making me understand how beautiful their instincts are, and how cruel they are to adults. It also makes me, who just finished writing this, understand myself as a child, and understand how normal it is to have such disdain and fragility. As a minor, I see how fearful adults are, expecting myself to grow up while being deprived of the right to cry out loud. I hate growing up, and also hate being a child. I understand and comprehend this society. I just feel strange whether as a child or as an adult. So I really, really, really understand your feelings. I hate other children having so many rights, the right to show their emotions, the right to cry, the right to rebel, the right to openly dislike someone, and to hate the irreversible youth that is vibrant in other people's eyes and bodies. I begin to understand that I should also give these rights to my childhood self, the self that was rejected by others, and rediscover myself as a child, to see the so-called \"disease\" and \"imperfection\", the self that has harmed many people, including parents, family, etc., a new kind of freedom. Forgiving that self, the fragile childhood, and the weak and powerless childhood, granting myself a greater right: understanding and forgiveness. An unparalleled opportunity: to understand adults, to understand children, to understand myself. I wish you can better understand yourself, your childhood self, your grown-up self, and your future self who may still make mistakes but bravely moves forward, a greater right\u2014forgiveness. I wish you peace, joy, gratitude, and thank you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16468
 },
 {
  "question": "My parents are on the verge of divorcing, and I feel like my future is uncertain and my life is dark. I can't go on anymore...",
  "description": "I'm only in the first year of junior high school this year. My mom has already said she wants a divorce because my dad has been having an affair with another woman at his company. My parents have already separated, and now I live with my dad. He doesn't really take care of me anymore. Later on, I found out that my dad was previously married and had a daughter from that marriage, so I have a half-sister. Then he married my mom because he liked her and they had me. I don't want to study anymore, I feel like I can't continue studying. I haven't been going to school for a while. I feel very confused and don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not important anymore. I feel like my mom has destroyed a family. I feel very strange about my own identity. I feel like the world is very indifferent and I don't think I will have a future. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, growth process.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I really want to give you a big hug. I feel very sorry for what you're going through, especially at such a young age. I think your parents' behavior is irresponsible and wrong. I would like to know if you have good friends or close friends, and if you've talked to them about this situation. If you have, have they given you any advice? Also, you can seek help from your teachers, as they can report your situation to the government. In short, try to reach out to someone you trust as much as possible. Now let's talk about what you can do: 1. You should try to adjust your mindset, you can distract yourself or seek help from professional teachers for advice through writing. 2. In your writing, you mentioned that your grades are not good, but that's okay. See if you have any interests or hobbies that you can develop further. Show your parents the shining aspects of yourself. 3. See if there are any creative ways to improve communication with your parents. For example, you can try writing letters or prepare small gifts for their birthdays. I hope my immature advice can provide you with some methods or ways to overcome these difficulties. Thank you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 3061
 },
 {
  "question": "Always being alone, without friends, it feels helpless when looking for a job alone.",
  "description": "Lately, I frequently feel like crying and my mindset is breaking down. When I need help the most, there is nobody who can assist me. I am facing graduation without a job, and I feel so helpless doing it all alone.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. Based on your description, I can understand that 1. you are having a lot of difficulty finding a job after graduation 2. you feel lonely without friends around you. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. Friends and family may not be able to offer practical help because they are in different places, but when you feel emotionally fragile and need to talk to someone about your inner frustrations, reaching out to a friend who will listen can be beneficial. Even though they may not be able to offer practical help, expressing your inner sorrows can make you feel a little better. 2. Graduation is a big change in your life and the first step into society. Most people go through this stage that requires personal effort, and it is normal to feel sad and unable to persevere. However, whether you continue to persevere and put in effort now has a significant impact on your future development and happiness. Think about this, take a rest, and then regroup and start again. I hope this helps you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 17481
 },
 {
  "question": "My father is seriously ill, and my mother is under a lot of psychological pressure. What should I do?",
  "description": "My father was diagnosed with kidney disease over a decade ago, and recently it is likely to relapse and develop into uremia. My mother has been under a lot of stress for the past decade and has tendencies of depression. Meanwhile, I am still studying. How can I do my best to help my parents and accompany them, comforting them? Recently, I have been blaming myself for not giving enough attention to my father. Our family works in agriculture, and both of my parents have poor health, yet they work tirelessly to provide me with a better life. It is highly probable that my father's illness was caused by a cold, which could have been treated earlier, but I didn't take it seriously. Now, I deeply regret my actions.",
  "keywords": "Family, communication with parents, the process of growth, family members' health.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) Your father is seriously ill, your mother is under a lot of pressure, and you want to comfort them but feel powerless. (2) You blame yourself for not being able to help and feel responsible for your father's illness. Now, here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) Firstly, from your description, I can see your sense of responsibility towards your family. Despite being a student, you are still trying to find ways to help and support your parents. Your family is important to you and you love them, and that is clear. Actually, you don't need to feel helpless. Being understanding and supportive as a child is the most comforting thing for parents. (2) Secondly, you mentioned blaming yourself for not paying enough attention to your father's condition. Symptoms of illnesses can be similar, and even professional doctors can make mistakes, let alone you who are not a doctor. It is something we all didn't want to happen, but from this perspective, it is not your responsibility, so you don't need to blame yourself. (3) Lastly, as you mentioned, your parents have done a lot for you. Now, as a student, the best way to repay them is to succeed in your studies and not let their efforts go to waste, agree? So, there is still a lot you can do. Keep going! #The world and I love you, take care~",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20133
 },
 {
  "question": "I sent my family a lot of messages, but they didn't reply at all.",
  "description": "In interpersonal relationships, if we feel that we have no value and are not worth anything to others, they will ignore us. However, if we are valuable to others, they will treat us well and make an effort for us. Is that true?",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disputes, interpersonal boundaries.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I don't know what happened before and after you messaged your family. Perhaps they haven't replied because they haven't seen your message due to some other matters. Or maybe there's a misunderstanding or conflict between you that has caused some tension, and that's why your family is not responding for now. Regarding what you said about people ignoring others if they don't deem them valuable and being overly kind to those they perceive as valuable, such individuals do exist in life. It seems like you may have had such experiences, which have hurt you. Sending you a virtual hug. In reality, there are people who don't care about superficial value and are willing to treat you genuinely. These are just my suggestions, and I hope they can be helpful to you. Take care and best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 20717
 },
 {
  "question": "What's the matter with liking to cut one's own hand? Is it a sign of abnormal mental state due to being forced?",
  "description": "I feel so tired, so exhausted. No one can understand me. I'm not good at chatting with people. Mom thinks my younger brother is already a failure, and she's placed all her hopes on me. But I really just want to take a break, to be the younger sibling for once. I want to go to a classmate's house, but he doesn't allow it. He thinks, what is there to talk about with those people? He'll never understand me. All he cares about is playing Mahjong. I'm terrified every time school is over. I have to wait for more than an hour, seeing everyone else getting picked up, leaving only me and my brother. I have no friends. He only wants me to study and do homework. How he hits and scolds me, I can never speak up because whenever I do, others will say it's for my own good. I don't want him to be good to me anymore. I just hope he can give me 1% of the attitude he has towards other people, at least not scold me. I would still hurt, but he'll never understand me. I hate them. I even self-harm and wish to die. I know my mental state might not be normal, but he's the one pushing me to this. Maybe if I die, it will make him even slightly sad. I don't know what's happening to me.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, venting and listening.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! Sending you a big hug! I know you must be under a lot of pressure right now: 1. Your mom has high expectations for you, giving you a heavy psychological and academic burden. 2. You don't have time to freely spend or choose friends on your own. You feel completely restricted by your mom. I feel really sorry for you, but I believe you know the problems you are facing. You are just feeling confused right now and don't know how to sort them out and find solutions. 1. Your mom has placed high expectations on you, and being the oldest child in the family, you naturally have to bear more psychological pressure. To face your mom's expectations, you need to adjust your mindset. You should know that your mom's expectations come from the hope that you will excel, but the path you take in your future life is your own. You don't need to burden yourself too much. Just do your best and have no regrets. In the end, you are only responsible for yourself. 2. Your mom's attitude towards you is not good, and she is very strict with you. She uses words like \"it's for your own good\" to control you. But in reality, she hasn't paid enough attention to your inner needs. It seems from your message that once you express resistance to your mom, you will face even stricter reprimands. You are afraid to confront your mom, but in this situation, you can try the following: try talking to other elders in the family and have them communicate with your mom; another option is to express yourself through writing, so that you won't be interrupted during the process; talk to a teacher or class advisor at school about your situation, ask for their assistance in communicating with your mom. I hope this can help you. Best wishes! The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "I have encountered a similar problem myself, which belongs to the self-defense mechanism of being afraid of others getting too close to you. It is a solution for social anxiety disorder to deliberately exercise social skills. The specific method is systematic desensitization: 1. Imaginary desensitization: Imagine greeting the other person, 2. Practice desensitization: Nod and smile, have a conversation with a companion.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 4101
 },
 {
  "question": "Why is it that when I am nervous or care about something, even the slightest change can affect me?",
  "description": "The words of classmates and teachers before exams, as well as the appropriateness of one's own clothing, the cleanliness of nails, hairstyle, or whether one has studied or not, can all affect one's mood. I suspect that this has further created tension. Is this normal? How should one overcome it?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, stress, anxiety, confusion",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that you seem to become sensitive to everything around you. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: The reason why there are ripples on the lake surface is not entirely due to the wind, but because the lake is inherently restless, just like people. When we feel that we are easily affected, it is because we are sensitive and restless. Ultimately, it requires emotional regulation and training of the state of mind. I suggest you try mindfulness training, and the meditation app \"Meditation Planet\" might be able to help you! Give it a try. #The world and I love you.",
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  "questionID": 8993
 },
 {
  "question": "Will finding a female counselor as a girlfriend be more understanding and empathetic?",
  "description": "I want to ask female psychology students if they are more realistic or highly focused on spiritual communication. Are they good at understanding others' needs? Also, are they open to being childfree? I am looking for a partner with whom I share a deep connection, to have fun and live life together.",
  "keywords": "Love, single",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Subject, hello, it's been over fifty years, am I still considered a girl? Can I answer your question? Whether you agree or not, I still want to answer this question because it is very well asked. Finding a soul mate is perhaps a dream for many men and women because having telepathy and understanding each other's hearts is the highest level of human interaction. Just think about it, with a single gaze or expression, the other person can understand what you mean. It is such a delightful thing! The term soul mate seems to have become popular in recent years, but in reality, it refers to a Platonic love relationship where the connection between a man and a woman is not bound by physical constraints but emphasizes spiritual communication. Since it is everyone's desire, it is even more desired by female mental health counselors because studying psychology itself is an exploration of the human spiritual world, making them more sensitive and delicate to the feelings of this world. Their inner world is a richer spiritual garden than ordinary people's, and they long for someone to enter their world, raise a cup with them under the moonlight, witness the rolling of clouds, and the blooming and falling of flowers. However, female mental health counselors are also human beings with their own emotions and joys. They live in the real world and care about both the reality and the spiritual connection because no one can survive without material life. Do not expect female mental health counselors to understand you better than anyone else because if you desire someone to understand you, you should also try to understand them and resonate with their soul. As for being childless, it has nothing to do with the mental health counselor. It is a lifestyle choice and a set of values and beliefs. Female mental health counselors, due to years of study and personal growth, have a stronger desire for a fulfilled and happy life with children and a harmonious family, which is the best interpretation of a fulfilling life. Remember what Teacher Wang said, soul mates have nothing to do with profession, only with oneself. The hustle and bustle of life in this world is the best training ground for the soul.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It is difficult for us to focus on spiritual pursuits when we are still struggling with basic needs because we need to survive before enjoying life. Actually, not only the original poster has this idea, but many people also hope that their significant other can understand them well. However, this understanding cannot be developed overnight. Some people seek soulmates and only pursue spiritual unity, while compromising on material aspects. In life, we tend to associate a person's profession with their lifestyle. Just like what the original poster believes, we all know that psychologists are generally kind and can often help those suffering from mental illness, so we assume they are the same way in their personal lives. However, we overlook one point: while a profession can bring us benefits, there are also downsides. After all, work and life sometimes need to be separated. During their work, psychologists often act as listeners and provide advice to visitors. However, the negative emotions expressed need to be processed by themselves most of the time. We all know that a person's patience is limited, and even the most optimistic person will be affected if they live in negative emotions every day. In this case, how should we deal with it when our significant other brings negative emotions home? Should we say they have changed or should we find ways to solve and face it together? The profession of a psychologist can give them a different perspective, allowing them to see things more comprehensively, but it does not mean they are omnipotent, as we are all emotional beings. As for the DINK couples, it depends on individual experiences and perspectives. Many people agree to be DINK before marriage, but as time goes by, fewer people can stick to their position because people change, especially under the influence of the external environment. Therefore, the idea of being DINK requires mutual understanding, considering that they will have to face public opinions and pressure from elders in the future. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Counselors are just regular people. Whether a counselor is more practical or focuses on the spiritual aspect, whether they are empathetic or accept the choice of being childfree, these personal traits have little to do with their profession. Just like in early childhood education, there are those who love children and those who may mistreat them. A profession does not define a person's character or values. I suggest you spend time looking for and choosing the right person in your life, rather than limiting yourself to a particular profession.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Is there a possibility that pursuing a soulmate is an escape from some practical problems in marriage? For example, dealing with issues like dowry and buying a house. If you choose not to have children, you also have to plan for your own elderly care expenses in the future. Depending on the city you want to live in, buying a house can be quite expensive. In larger cities, it can be close to millions. In relatively big cities, it can be several million. In smaller cities, it's less than a million. The customs regarding dowry vary in different places. Medical expenses and elderly care costs are also significant. I wonder if the questioner has considered these factors.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21306
 },
 {
  "question": "A few years ago, I made a second mistake that I truly regret. I realized that being impatient can lead to making mistakes.",
  "description": "A few years ago, there was a male friend (whom I liked) online who made fun of another friend's girlfriend. The other person was very upset and started cursing the guy I liked. My initial reaction was to curse back for him. I know it's not classy to curse at people, but I didn't think much about it at the time. The other person didn't stop and even involved me in the argument, saying some offensive things. Then I did something that I deeply regret now. I made a mockery of the guy's girlfriend's photo and wrote two insulting sentences. It was supposedly standing up for justice, but in reality, it was an irrational defense. I don't know how to contact that girl to apologize, but I know that what happened today is karma. My behavior was impulsive, and I acted without thinking. I truly regret it. It's just that I have a quick-tempered nature. When I'm in a hurry, I make mistakes. I really messed up.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, guilt, shame.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hey sweetheart, how are you? It's definitely uncomfortable to know that you're in the wrong but have nowhere to apologize. There's always a feeling of not being able to express your emotions, keeping them bottled up inside, which can make you feel suppressed or like there's no outlet. Mei Er offers a few points for you to consider: 1. The past cannot be changed. This includes their irrational comments towards you or the hurts you caused them. All of these things are in the past and cannot be changed. Looking back now, we are judging past actions with present knowledge. If we could go back in time and face the same situations, it's very possible that we would still respond the same way. This way, we can avoid excessive self-blame and regret. 2. There are other ways to alleviate the feeling of regret. If you truly can't let go, Mei Er suggests writing a letter to that girl. Writing it out is already a good step, putting everything you want to say to her in it. Whether you can find her or if she will receive it is not that important. If you do manage to find her, it's never too late to show it to her. First, let's ease our own emotions because no matter what, we still have to move forward. 3. Walk the path of the present. Darling, have you noticed that you are constantly growing? We can't change what happened in the past, but we can decide who we want to become in the present. Believe that everything will get better and better. This is just for your reference. I wish for both of us to become the best version of ourselves... Here's to hoping that you, who is reading this, gets better and better!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 6432
 },
 {
  "question": "I feel timid and afraid to express my normal needs, so I find myself getting frustrated. What should I do?",
  "description": "A freshman male student who just entered college is not allowed to go out due to the pandemic. So basically, besides the classroom, he stays in the dormitory. His roommate likes to play games together and often gets excited and shouts loudly. When they are not playing games, they call other students from other dorms to chat, drink, play cards, and so on. Smoking is also inevitable. They even ask me to go to the cafeteria to pack food for them during mealtime. I try to go to the library as much as possible, but they play games until midnight or even all night long. I can't concentrate on studying and can't sleep peacefully. I really want to tell them not to do this, but every time the words reach my lips, I dare not say anything and I dare not report to the counselor or class teacher. I live in agony every day, feeling useless, feeling so uncomfortable.",
  "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflict, roommates, classmates.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, friend. I'm glad to answer your question. First, let's take a look at the issues mentioned by the poster. Firstly, the poster is a freshman and their roommate's noisy gaming is causing disturbance. Secondly, they are unable to study in peace and are afraid to express their feelings. Lastly, they feel like a failure and have a bad mood. Firstly, the poster needs to determine whether they feel bad about themselves due to this specific incident or if it's an ongoing feeling. The poster believes that their roommate's gaming is affecting their studies and not speaking up has caused them to feel low self-worth. While it appears that the reason for the bad mood is the study disruption, the actual problem lies in the poster's silence and lack of self-advocacy, which has led them to dislike themselves and feel useless. In reality, the poster's values should be about standing up for their rights when faced with unfair situations, but due to external pressure, they chose to remain silent and not speak up for their own well-being. However, the poster blames themselves internally while not advocating for themselves externally, which is quite a negative approach that won't solve the actual problem. So, I would like to ask the poster one question: What do they want to achieve? Do they want to have a good study environment, make their roommates treat them well, or just feel good about themselves? In my opinion, it's difficult to change others, and the true source of change lies within oneself. It seems like the poster is troubled by the external environment caused by their roommates, but the central issue is their own belief that they are useless. If the only issue is the roommates not interfering with their studies, then it's merely a matter of finding the right approach. However, if the poster deep down feels inadequate, there will be many triggers in the future that will lead them to feel this way. As for the suggestion of speaking to a counselor as mentioned by the poster, first, I don't consider it the best method because conflicts only bring more conflicts. In the poster's perception, silence is seen as a rather miserable approach, but this mindset will only decrease their sense of self-worth. There are two general methods to resolve these conflicts: for oneself and for others. For oneself, the poster needs to change their perception and view silence as wisdom rather than simply enduring. This mindset can minimize the possibility of conflicts and reduce self-attacks. However, the drawback is that as the poster mentioned, it won't solve the issue of the study environment. The second method is to change others. Here, I want to emphasize that it's not about simply telling the teacher but rather about harmoniously coexisting with roommates. Use a gentle approach and try to understand their perspective in order to express one's own needs. This way, it's more likely that they will accept your requests. Start with small requests and then move on to bigger ones. This approach could solve the study problem. However, what I want to stress is that the focus should be on resolving the deeper issue of feeling inadequate. Lastly, I hope the poster is treated gently by the world.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad that you didn't compromise with them. The environment can easily influence a person. Our counselor used to say that those with good grades almost live in the same dormitory, while those with poor grades also tend to live together. And it's true until graduation. Actually, you can consider reporting this situation to the counselor. Generally, they will handle such situations that affect studying. I don't know if you can apply for a room change. There are also earplugs that might be somewhat helpful. If you are blaming yourself for being useless and timid because of this, don't attack yourself because of indifferent people. Maybe it's because you have too many concerns and are afraid of affecting the relationships among everyone, so you can't point it out properly. But we also need to learn to protect our own interests. We are our own warriors! Keep it up! This is the viewpoint of a stranger.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 8211
 },
 {
  "question": "29 years old female, experiencing a breakdown in her inner personality. What should be done when facing bilateral obstacles in intimate relationships?",
  "description": "29 years old, female. I fell in love with someone before, but later stopped loving them. My heart has broken three times. The first time, I was able to heal myself. The second time, I was able to piece myself together. But the third time, I shattered and couldn't put myself back together. If memory shapes one's personality and connects all the events, providing a basis for self-reflection, then when I can't remember many things, has my heart already gone bad? I often wonder if I should seek professional help to review my past. I have forgotten so many things that have made me sad, hurting others and myself. Is it better to remember them or just forget? I am so shattered that I can't even repair myself. Sometimes, I don't know what to do. Should I completely break myself into pieces and start anew or should I numb myself and avoid facing it? I am so confused, my heart and memories are all jumbled up! What should I do with these remaining fragments?",
  "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, and psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your concerns. I understand that you believe memories are the clues that connect everything and are essential for introspection and reflection. It seems that you really want to review your emotional experiences through memories in order to gain insights and learn from them. However, you find that you cannot remember or have forgotten those overly sad events, and you're not sure whether you should make an effort to recall them or just forget them for the sake of your well-being. This dilemma is making you feel conflicted and helpless. When we experience highly distressing events, we may go through a condition known as selective amnesia, which is a way to protect ourselves from being constantly immersed in pain. Selective amnesia refers to a situation where a person forgets things or avoids situations, people, or objects they don't want to remember, due to external stimuli or brain injuries. You asked whether you should completely break yourself and be reborn or numb yourself and avoid facing the situation. In my opinion, neither option seems to be the most advantageous for you, because if you can't see clearly how the existing patterns of intimate relationships have affected you and how they continue to affect you, it will be difficult to make positive changes by relying on your own strength and cognition alone. Since your description of the problems you have experienced is limited and it is not possible to make further speculations or provide appropriate guidance, I sincerely suggest that you seek the help of a professional counselor who can accompany you and assist you in communicating deeply, to address the current situation of not being able to remember many things and to analyze the reasons for the harm caused to you in intimate relationships. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader, it feels like we're face-to-face. After reading your description, I can indeed sense the chaos in your mind. As for the issues you mentioned, I think you can try the following suggestions. Firstly, you mentioned wanting to consult with a professional teacher, and I think that's a feasible method. Sometimes when we're stuck in a situation, we can also find our way out, but it may take a long time and the process won't be enjoyable. Secondly, regarding your current situation, I think you can try to analyze it by yourself. Set aside the work that is keeping you busy, carefully consider your current emotions and the direction of your future emotions. Don't restrict yourself and don't let past mistakes or regrets entangle you. Choose the method that will lead you forward: letting go. When you have everything sorted out, and you let go of the emotions, the situation might improve.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, experiencing such pain must be very difficult. According to the definition in psychology, bipolar disorder has specific symptoms and criteria. You can take a test or consult with a professional counselor to help you understand your psychological condition. It may not be as bad as you imagine. From what you described, it seems that you have just experienced a heartbreak, which has made you feel broken inside again. Indeed, many of us face a big challenge when dealing with heartbreak. Give yourself some time and shift your focus to other interests, develop new hobbies and habits. Painful experiences often bring growth and spiritual wealth. Treat it as an opportunity for personal growth and believe that you will become a better person.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "One of the manifestations of depression is the loss of all energy, resulting in varying degrees of decline in memory, attention, and willpower. Based on your description, it appears to be a sign of depression. The formation of bipolar disorder is often due to your refusal to accept your state of low mood, suppressing your negative emotions while striving to make your mood positive, which can easily lead to bipolar emotional disorders. Perhaps in your upbringing, your parents and family were unable to accept your negative emotions. When entering intimate relationships, your emotions collapse because there is trauma in the attachment relationship between you and your parents in early stages. You hope to heal the past trauma by entering intimate relationships again. The failure of current intimate relationships can trigger your early traumatic experiences, just like reopening a person's recently healed wound. I suggest seeking counseling to heal yourself and then establishing a healthy intimate relationship instead of compulsively repeating past trauma.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Are you telling us that the experience of emotional hurt is worsening? You feel like the weight is so heavy that you're about to collapse, and there's a tearing pain inside, not knowing what to do. The once organized mind is shattered. Perhaps some internal belief system has been broken. There's no need to consciously forget. The compulsive recollection of the past only intensifies your pain. Under the guidance of a professional teacher, narrate the experiences you have been through, helping you understand the root of your suffering. Making this decision requires courage, but it is very helpful for repairing your inner personality and moving away from the pain! Wishing you a quick reconstruction of your personality.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 2584
 },
 {
  "question": "Do boys also have a few days every month when their mood is particularly low?",
  "description": "My boyfriend often experiences a period of low mood for three to five days, and he also gets headaches. He becomes really gloomy and ignores me during that time. I noticed that it seems to happen around the same few days every month. He says it's because of work stress, but I feel like his work has always been like that. It also makes me feel uneasy during this time, as if he doesn't love me anymore. But after a few days, it seems to go back to normal. It's really irritating.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, let me offer some assistance with your question. It is well known that women have a few days each month when they feel irritable, but men can also have low moods every month. However, this moodiness often comes out of the blue, like a boy who hasn't grown up. For you, it may feel like he doesn't love you anymore. However, he still loves you, he just doesn't know how to deal with these emotions and is afraid of hurting you. So he keeps to himself and quietly licks his wounds. During this process, he can't provide you with the sense of security you desire, so you have to find a way to vent your own emotions. There are many methods to alleviate this kind of mood, but in short, he can try exercising and sweating it out. After that, he will gradually calm down. It's better than him recovering quietly in a \"corner\" by himself. As for love and not loving, to be honest, I don't really understand. In today's fast-paced society, people have a strong interest in money. I don't know if you love him for his money or for him as a person. That's also something to think about. Loving you doesn't mean he calls or messages you all the time, or constantly watches over you. It's about the small things he does when you least expect it, like joking around and playing. These things strengthen the bond between the two of you. Not loving you may mean he forgets your birthday or forgets everything about you, but that is highly unlikely. For a man, it's impossible to forget someone. I hope you have a happy life with your boyfriend in the years to come.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, yes. Boys also have a few days each month when they experience mood changes. Regardless of gender, everyone goes through emotional cycles. It's just that for girls, it coincides with their menstrual period, while boys don't have obvious physical symptoms, so it may seem more hidden. This is a variation in biological rhythms that both boys and girls experience. You are very observant to notice when your boyfriend is unhappy, and even notice a pattern. Moreover, your boyfriend is actually considerate of you. When he is not in a good mood, he doesn't actively pick on things to vent his discomfort; he keeps it to himself. It seems like you both are being considerate of each other. You want him to not feel low, but don't know what to do since he said it's work-related matters and you can't intervene. This makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, as if you are being excluded. Perhaps you hope that he could share something with you and let you be a part of his life. However, if he himself can't articulate it clearly, how can he let you know his thoughts? Once you understand this, how do you feel? Do you still feel that he doesn't love you? Blessings to you! Karen.",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ For girls, the menstrual period can cause emotional instability and other conditions due to hormone changes and other reasons, which is caused by physiology and requires careful care. But actually, this is not only for girls. For boys, they also need to be treated equally. For a few days each month for boys, it may not be like girls' menstrual period, causing emotional instability due to physiological changes. More likely, it is due to the accumulation of pressures and negative emotions in various aspects of life and work. It will \"explode\" at a certain time. This does not mean that something big must happen. We experience many small emotions every day. After all, no one can always be happy. Therefore, for such situations with boyfriends, we also need to show understanding and try to think from his perspective and care for him.",
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  ],
  "questionID": 9307
 },
 {
  "question": "How to improve learning efficiency in hot weather?",
  "description": "It's too hot. I feel uncomfortable as soon as I sit down, and I can't even read a page for a long time. What's going on? Is there any way to help me improve my concentration?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, control.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the weather is indeed very hot in the summer. But we have a saying, \"a calm mind brings natural coolness.\" The hot weather can indeed affect our mood, and naturally, it can also affect our study efficiency. If it is affecting you, I think you can change the environment to change the external conditions. If you can't change the external environment, you can set a good study plan for yourself and put a little pressure on yourself. Perhaps now it's not so much the weather that's bothering you, but rather a restless mood. You should calm yourself down now. Your self-made study plan should be precise down to the time. I think this will help you focus your attention a little. Best wishes.",
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  "questionID": 17003
 },
 {
  "question": "What kind of psychology is it for those who are destined to not pursue, yet unwilling to give up?",
  "description": "What kind of psychology is it to like someone, knowing that you can't pursue them, but still unwilling to give up on the pursuit?",
  "keywords": "Love, singlehood, sense of security, relationship management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "~~First, give OP a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. OP likes someone but understands that they can't pursue them. 2. Even though they can't pursue them, they are still unwilling to give up and don't know why. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. Even though OP knows they can't pursue the person, that person is still physically present, right in front of them, visible. It's normal to feel unwilling to give up and not content with this situation. If this kind of persistence can be applied to specific areas like studying or work, combined with relentless effort and some correct methods, it may become an important trait for achieving success in life. 2. It's the same in relationships, the goal is right there, not something far out of reach. This existence which can't be obtained still holds a glimmer of hope, making it not entirely impossible, and it is indeed easy to feel discontent. In relationships, it doesn't necessarily have to end with being together. OP had a crush on the person, harboring unspoken feelings inside. When looking back on the present in the future, this memory might become a treasured past. Hope OP finds someone with mutual feelings soon. Best wishes.",
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 {
  "question": "Unwilling to engage with the outside world and unable to live in harmony with oneself?",
  "description": "Originally, when I was a child, I was a lively and cheerful person. I would warmly greet people and loved sharing and expressing emotions, so I had many friends. But as I grew up and entered society, I started to feel darkness within myself. When interacting with people, I often held a suspicious attitude towards them, fearing being manipulated, hurt, or not respected. I felt that their interactions with me were not genuinely out of liking me, but driven by ulterior motives. Yet, I also feared being isolated and not accepted by others, afraid of being looked down upon. As a result, I often presented myself as a kind and considerate person, always considering others' feelings from their perspective. I dare not reveal my true thoughts and feelings, and I cannot refuse others' requests. This constantly puts me in difficult situations. Even in conversations, I carefully choose topics that I think others would like to hear, seeking validation and approval. I know I am contradictory - on one hand, I have resistance towards others, while on the other hand, I long for connection. I am afraid of exposing myself and creating difficulties for myself and others. Thus, I choose to be alone, but in solitude, my mind becomes chaotic. I am unable to engage in pleasant and relaxed conversations with others, nor can I harmoniously coexist with myself. I believe this has to do with my upbringing in my original family and my interactions with friends.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, trauma therapy, listening and counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I'm glad to answer your question. After carefully reading your question, I understand that your current confusion mainly stems from the conflicting feelings of wanting to connect with others but being afraid to do so. In your question, you also mentioned that your current state may be related to your original family environment, which is indeed one reason, but we can also consider it from another perspective. While we cannot change the experiences brought by our original family, we can open our minds and make changes and improvements through personal growth. [Three steps of psychological growth] Narcissism - self-denial - positive self-identification Narcissism: In childhood, our psychological state is basically at the level of narcissism. During this time, we feel like a \"king\" who commands everything, and our parents can fulfill any of our needs. We don't need to worry about or understand the real existence of the world; we just need to immerse ourselves in our own \"kingdom.\" At this stage, excessive fulfillment of a child's narcissism by parents, or failure to reach a certain degree of fulfillment, can cause troubles in the child's psychological growth. The child may become fixated at this stage, resulting in the commonly seen \"overindulged child\" or \"child lacking a sense of security.\" Although these two types of children grow up in different environments, they both exhibit higher levels of the need for control. The former satisfies their \"narcissistic sense\" by exerting control, while the latter satisfies their inner \"emptiness\" through control. Self-denial: At this stage, children will experience a series of setbacks and blows. At this time, their self-identities are still evolving, and they don't know who they are or what kind of person they are. Thus, the people around them become mirrors, and they believe in the reflection shown in those mirrors. However, these mirrors often contain many negative evaluations, which leads us to start rejecting ourselves. Such rejection can have a positive effect on breaking narcissism. However, if we excessively identify with and see these negative evaluations as our true selves, problems arise. It's like getting too absorbed in a role in a play and ending up thinking of yourself as a \"villain.\" Positive self-identification: Therefore, after going through the second stage and constantly self-denying, we will yearn to find a positive and authentic self. This second stage becomes a watershed moment. Some people may \"act for real\" during this stage and identify with their negative side. Others, however, keep searching for a positive authentic self through setbacks and hardships. The three stages mentioned above are meant to tell you that each person's growth can be determined by themselves. You must be cautious about others' negative evaluations and not let the image in this mirror mislead you. [Lower expectations, truly embrace the real world] Do you know what major difference there is between a child and an adult entering society? It's that children like to live in their imagination (a manifestation of narcissism), while adults truly embrace the real world (self-denial and searching for positive self-identification). In your description, you believe that others are all negative. This stems from having excessively high expectations, and while we all need to protect ourselves and set boundaries for our inner selves, you have frightened others with this reasonable defense mechanism. Because in your perception, everyone should be good. This is a world of imagination, a manifestation of narcissism. The real world is full of risks and challenges everywhere, but this does not affect the beauty of this world. I often tell others that even the kindest person can discover their own darkness, and even a prisoner in jail can find their own kindness. This world inherently contains both beauty and evil, and they also coexist within the same person, because one person is a whole world.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I agree with your point, which is the change in your current personality traits: \"From being lively and outgoing, to becoming someone who is unwilling to interact with the outside world and unable to get along with oneself,\" which is related to your original family and friends. I would like to discuss my personal views from the following aspects. Although a person's personality development can change over time, these changes often have temporal continuity, consistency, and stability. Therefore, the change in your personality is directly related to the various life events that have occurred between the time when you felt lively and your current personality traits during this period of time with your family and friends. In other words, what has happened between you and your family, and between you and your friends, during this period is the direct cause of your personality change. The explanations for why such changes occur vary among different psychological schools of thought. The psychologist Erik Erikson believes that from ages 3 to 6, it is an important stage for the development of a child's initiative and guilt, with the family playing a crucial role. During this period, conflicts may arise between the child's proactive behavior and the disapproval or even scolding from parents and family members due to the mess caused by their attempts to clean. The resolution of these conflicts will affect the child's psychological development. From ages 6 to 12, it is an important stage for the development of a child's industry and inferiority, with teachers and peers playing significant roles. During this period, children compare themselves to their peers and learn the basic skills required by society and culture. Diligence helps them acquire social and learning skills and develop a sense of self-assurance. However, the failure to reach corresponding goals despite efforts can lead to feelings of inferiority. The resolution of conflicts between diligence and inferiority will affect the child's psychological development. From ages 12 to 20, it is a stage of identity and role confusion, with peers being the main relationships. This period is also suitable for personality development. It takes time to truly realize who one is and what kind of person they are. It is normal to have some confusion during this period, but long-term confusion can lead to inner conflict. From ages 20 to 40, it is a stage of intimacy and isolation, with partners, spouses, and close friends being important relationships. From the development of intimacy to the development of reproductive capacity, the duration varies from person to person. Some relationships only last a few years, while others may last several decades. Developing solid friendships and generating feelings of love and intimacy for another person are the main tasks during this period. Forming friendships and intimacy is a skill, and the lack of this skill can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. From the above analysis, it seems that your current state may be related to the conflicts occurring within your inner self during these stages of development and the changes and contradictions that have taken place in your inner world while resolving these conflicts. I hope my analysis can bring you some enlightenment. Good luck!",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I completely understand your emotions right now. Many people go through this, just to varying degrees. I used to be the same way. I understand your concerns about wanting to have good relationships with people but also fearing getting hurt and not easily trusting others. It's a form of self-protection, which is normal. However, when you solely try to please others and be a people-pleaser, it creates a psychological conflict. I'll share with you how I broke free from this cycle in the hope that it inspires you. Try to reflect on the times when you want to please others and dare not express yourself. Think about what would happen if you were to express your true thoughts without trying to please others. Can you handle the possible outcomes? Take small steps and experiment. For example, start by not trying to please people who are not very important to you. Sometimes, you might feel like if you do this, others will ignore you. In reality, that's not the case; it's just a thought in our minds. Since then, I learned to gradually express my true thoughts and become more comfortable in interpersonal relationships, although there is a process to it. Try it next time for something that is not particularly important and express yourself. See what actually happens. You will realize that most of the fear of others not liking or being unhappy with us is self-generated. Let go of the need for approval and learn to reject seeking validation. It is a common psychological need for humans to be recognized and satisfied every moment. When you can't confirm \"I'm fine\" through yourself, you rely on others and the environment to confirm that you are good enough. No one can internalize the concept of \"I am already good enough\" for you, but you can acknowledge and accept yourself more. Ask less from others and affirm yourself more. You are already good enough, continue to reinforce that belief. Refusing is not as difficult as we imagine it to be, but many people are not used to saying no. They think it's a difficult task. When we refuse to do something we don't want to do, it does not mean we are rejecting the person, but we are only rejecting the task. Have you ever experienced being rejected? The person being rejected might feel uncomfortable at that moment, but what about afterwards? In your future life, try it out a bit more. Start with small things. I recommend the book \"The Courage to be Disliked\" by Adler, which explains that often we lack the courage to be ourselves and enjoy happiness. Because it also takes courage to be happy. Finally, I wish you the best.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I have observed your conflicting psychology, on one hand wanting to avoid relationships because they make you tired, and on the other hand craving relationships and the approval of others. I also noticed that you bravely expressed your distress and sought help from others, which undoubtedly can help you better understand yourself, see the underlying deep-seated needs behind your conflicts, and understand yourself better. Now I will share my observations, which might help you gain a more diverse perspective on your distress. 1. Conditional positive attention makes us feel that our true selves are not good enough. You mentioned the influence of your original family. Here, I make an association. In our original family, we may face a situation where we must achieve something for others to approve of us, love us, and appreciate us. And if we don't achieve it, we won't receive approval, and there may even be punishment. This is conditional positive attention. Because of this conditional positive attention, what survival strategies do we develop to obtain approval? We only dare to express the part of ourselves that will be accepted, the good part. We suppress the bad or dark part of ourselves. And because the dark side is not accepted, we believe that our true selves are not good enough and not worthy of love. In your post, I observed that you mentioned being an outgoing and cheerful person in your childhood. You would warmly greet people and easily share and express emotions. You also had many friends. Please take some time to reflect if this was genuinely from your heart, or was it because doing so would grant you approval and love? 2. Our relationship with others is actually a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. Our relationship with ourselves is formed by internalizing the relationship patterns we had with our caregivers during childhood. So, OP, take some time to feel whether you wished for approval and love in your childhood. Do you still have a part of you now that wants to please others, yearns for relationships, and desires approval and love? Is there a connection or is it a coincidence? But why do we still avoid relationships? In my understanding, it's because we cannot accept our own dark side. We consider it as the bad side, something that isn't accepted. Therefore, you always fear that others will discover this so-called bad side and fear exposing yourself. 3. Learning to accept our true selves as whole is more important than striving for perfection. Every person has their sunny side and their dark side, and they are meant to be a whole. However, due to our upbringing, we want to cut off our bad side, which essentially means we are splitting ourselves. Can we be happy like this? So, we need to learn to accept and understand our own bad side. Can't our bad side be seen as our space for growth from a different perspective? And if we adjust ourselves, won't it give us a sense of accomplishment? Won't it make our lives more fulfilling and multi-dimensional? Won't it give our lives more vitality? So, no one has a perfect personality, but we can have a good version of ourselves. When we use a more diverse perspective to accept and embrace our bad side, it will also transform into our positive energy. It will bless us. Therefore, it is important for us to learn to embrace our dark side, accept the parts of ourselves that cannot be changed, and focus our energy on the parts we can adjust. This will lead us to encounter a better version of ourselves.",
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   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello, I see the conflicts and struggles within your heart, sending you a hug (*\uffe3\ufe36\uffe3) You mentioned that you don't want to interact with the outside world and can't get along with yourself harmoniously. In your childhood, you were a lively and outgoing person, warm towards others and willing to share and express your true self. At that time, you also had many friends. However, after getting deeper into society, you started experiencing negative emotions, fearing isolation, rejection, manipulation, and being hurt or not genuinely treated by others. As a result, you hid your true self and often put others' feelings before your own, which made things difficult for you. You are conflicted about your current way of interacting with others. On one hand, you have resistance towards other people, but on the other hand, you crave connection. As soon as you make contact, you fear exposing yourself, causing you distress. Therefore, you choose to be alone to avoid this trouble but end up overthinking. You believe that your inability to have enjoyable and harmonious interactions with others is related to your original family and the friends you associate with. Perhaps, it only relates to ourselves, and things will change when we change our way of thinking. Personally, I believe that you are naturally someone who likes making friends. The happiness you felt during your childhood came from being able to express yourself truthfully and share it joyfully with friends. Why were you able to do so back then? Was it because you didn't consider others' approval or rejection or fear manipulation and harm from others? As a result, you dared to express your true thoughts. When we are genuine in our interpersonal relationships, we receive positive feedback, and our inner selves become light and joyful. However, later on, due to various reasons, you hid your true self and excessively cared about others' feelings during social interactions. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but perhaps we have gone too far. We may need to adjust this balance, taking into account both others' feelings and our ability to express ourselves truthfully. Do you know that when you are truly being yourself, the friends who accept you and get along with you are true friends? When you are with them, it will be relaxed and comfortable because you can be your authentic self in that relationship. As for socializing and solitude, actually, both can be balanced instead of choosing between the two. We all live in society and need to communicate with others. We must understand that people are complex, with positive and negative aspects. In our interpersonal relationships, we can showcase our positive aspects, thus attracting positive and proactive people\u2014those who are attracted to the real you. As for our own shortcomings and flaws, we need to learn to accept them. Their presence demonstrates our authenticity because no one is without flaws. When we encounter troubles in socializing, it is indeed necessary to give ourselves some time alone. During this time, we can relax and do things we truly want to do. This is recharging ourselves, so that when we return to socializing, we have more energy. As \"The Courage to Be Disliked\" says: not fearing others' dislike or seeking their approval will lead to true inner freedom. However, in order to reach this level, it is crucial for us to have enough self-understanding and self-awareness, so that we won't negate ourselves due to a few comments from others, because we know who we are. Wishing you a relaxed and comfortable life, being your true self (*\uffe3\ufe36\uffe3).",
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   {
    "answer_text": "This is related to the original family or personal experiences. If you have had more negative experiences, it is easy to develop such a thinking pattern, where you always think of the negative side of things and ignore the positive aspects. It may also be because the family that raised you did not make you realize that you are a valuable person, did not respect your views and opinions, and even frequently belittled and suppressed you. As a result, you become very lacking in confidence, often putting others before yourself. So what the questioner needs to do now is to notice their negative thinking and make an effort to think of the positive aspects. Be more forgiving to oneself, understanding that habits developed over many years cannot change overnight, but believing that one can become better with each passing day. I don't think this state is completely bad either. At least you are very understanding of others and always make others happy, right? In order to have good interpersonal relationships, we all need to consider the other person and make sacrifices at the appropriate time, then people will be willing to socialize with you. If you only consider yourself and talk about what you like every time, then I think no one would want to socialize with you anymore. You say things that others like to hear, and I believe others should also enjoy being with you. It is not wrong to prefer solitude. When you are alone, you can do whatever you want without considering others' feelings, and indeed, it can be more comfortable. Questioners don't have to understand things in an all-or-nothing way, as if life can only be either completely solitary or completely in sync with others. You can spend time alone and chat with friends when you feel lonely, and then return to your own world. That's also good. When you feel resistant towards others, you should remind yourself that negative thinking is starting again, and tell yourself to think of the positive aspects. Why would this person harm you when there is no grudge between you? Why would they look down on you? What evidence do you have? Often, you will find that you can't find any evidence, and that will reduce your defensiveness. Show yourself in moderation, this will actually bring you courage, and the other person will feel trusted and open up. Social interaction does not have any secrets. You can only try and practice. It is impossible for you to suddenly become a socialite who is not afraid of anyone. You can only gradually get accustomed to this state through repeated attempts and practice. Everyone will have moments of fear and anxiety, but that should not hinder you from trying. So what if you fail? So what if others really look down on you? Will something unimaginable happen? All it means is that you won't see or communicate with that person again, but you don't have any losses. On the contrary, if you try, you have the opportunity to practice, to confront your previous habits, and to move towards a new you. Isn't that exciting? Your current problem is that you consider others too much, so you treat each social interaction as an opportunity to show yourself, to talk about things that interest you, to treat it as a practice, anyway, you don't have much to lose, right? Have the courage to try, challenge your own thoughts, do things you have never done before, maybe you will have unexpected surprises.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker! I can really sense your emotions and situation, as I used to be in a similar situation. I sincerely hope my words can help you: \"Look at other people's experiences, and lead your own life well.\" Although my experiences may not be significant, I still want to share with you. Looking back at myself when I was a child, I was just like you, feeling that \"I used to have a lively and cheerful personality, greeting people warmly, and especially enjoying sharing and expressing emotions. I had many friends.\" But after entering society, I felt that \"I had changed. I was afraid of being calculated, hurt, disrespected, and isolated. Making friends now is no longer pure, but mixed with interests and motives.\" I dislike these feelings and don't want to cater to them. At the same time, I \"don't dare to express my true thoughts, hesitate to reject others, make myself uneasy, and contradict myself.\" I really feel like I see my helpless self from the past. Hugs to you. The changes we have gone through can be understood and resolved. Feeling that one has changed is not necessarily a bad thing; it can be helpful for self-reflection. However, whether this change is good or bad depends on how we deal with it. First, we need to adjust our mentality and cognition. From childhood to adulthood in society, this is a change in time and environment, and we need to acknowledge these changes. It is difficult to change the environment, so what we can change is ourselves, to adapt to these changes. After entering society, of course, we won't be as carefree as we were when we were children. We need to consider more things as we grow older, and our social roles are constantly changing. We all have a responsibility to society. Social interaction after growing up is indeed more complex, no longer just for fun or for a piece of candy, but often involves interests. However, this does not mean that everything has become dark; there are still people with sincere feelings and genuinely wishing you well. What we need to do is to constantly make ourselves stronger. Building more social connections may be helpful for our future development, but what is even more important is the strength we possess. When you have certain abilities, the circles you interact with will be different, and you will find that everything around you is gradually improving. Reject useless social interactions and compromising oneself to fit in? Personally, even if you try to cater to someone this time and they help you, this kind of social relationship will not last. Nowadays, it is often said online that \"there are thousands of contacts, but few with whom you can have a true conversation and heart-to-heart.\" Some relationships require us to maintain them, but it should be based on equality. As for expressing one's true emotions, think from the other person's perspective. I believe you also want to make sincere connections, right? If you suppress yourself and don't show and express your true self, others won't be able to truly understand you or help you. Therefore, it is necessary to appropriately express your emotions and needs. Life is not too bad; change your perspective on problems. Just as John Schor's wrote in \"The Wishing Tree\": \"There is no pain that cannot be healed, no sinking that cannot end. What is lost will return in a different way.\" Please take care of your physical and mental well-being at all times. Take care!",
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   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, after listening to your narrative, I sense the changes in your personality throughout your growth process. Your personality went from being lively during childhood and adolescence to becoming constantly worried about being manipulated by others, resulting in obvious defensiveness. Although you have a clear defense mechanism towards people, you still want to get along with others in a friendly manner, even putting others first in your interactions. However, this type of interaction clearly drains you and you are afraid of others seeing your true self, so you choose to spend more time alone. The formation of a person's personality is influenced by three factors: biology and genetics, environment, and self-will. Self-will refers to the ability of a person to make new choices in any situation. Do you currently want to change your state? You used to have the ability and willingness to share and express your feelings with your friends, which are your resources and wealth. When you need to restore this part of your personality, you have experience to draw on and can learn from that state. You mentioned that you are unable to get along harmoniously with others or with yourself, and that there is some conflict and contradiction within you. The breakthrough to change the current situation lies in adjusting your expectations of yourself. What would happen if you were not always trying to please others? The specific outcome cannot be verified based on a single incident with one person. It requires a sustained effort and trying it out with multiple friends to be your true self. Perhaps you will make new discoveries. Letting go of defense is likely to be a difficult point to achieve. In psychology, there is a term called projection. Maybe, as you mentioned, due to the influence of your family of origin, you have some emotions and anger in your heart that you really want to vent on others, but your rationality tells you that you can't do that. So it gets projected as others being unfriendly towards you, as if they want to confront you. If you become aware of this and address your inner anger, your defenses towards others may decrease. I hope these various points of reflection above are helpful to you. Best wishes!",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "First, let me give you a virtual hug. I can tell that deep down, you still have a strong desire to connect with others and want to have harmonious relationships. It's just that you may have experienced some things during your interactions that didn't give you the results you desired, which has made you question how to relate to others. I want to say that this is something that everyone faces when entering society, and it's very normal and natural. Before entering society, we have certain self-perceptions, but these perceptions are not comprehensive, and some of them are not true. We also develop certain patterns of relating to people and things, called \"schemata,\" which are the maps in our minds formed from past interactions with others. However, when we were young, our parents were there to handle many things for us, so our interpersonal relationships were relatively simple. Once we enter society, we have to deal with different people and solve problems on our own, which can be overwhelming. Through these interactions with society, we gradually discover our true selves. Just like what Yoji Yamamoto said, \"We don't know what the self is, we only know it through colliding with other things.\" So, the \"problems\" you are currently facing are actually your process of reflecting on who you truly are after colliding with society. This is a necessary path for personal growth. When I first entered society in my twenties, I also had similar doubts. But now that I am in my thirties, things that used to bother me no longer do. Perhaps when I reach my forties, the issues that troubled me at thirty won't be problems anymore. We all mature through the process of facing and solving difficulties. Maybe you can ask yourself, what would I want to say to my present self when I am old and reflecting on my life? You might naturally find the answer in your heart. And always remember, no matter what you go through or how others perceive you, you are deserving of love. Hugs to you once again.",
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 },
 {
  "question": "How to deal with parents' opposition to dating the current boyfriend?",
  "description": "Basically, my boyfriend's family's financial situation is not very good. His mother got married to his father after her divorce and they had him. His father should still be married. His mother works outside all year round while his father stays at home. My relatives think that the family's financial conditions are not good and the relationships are complicated. They think that if we continue to live together in the future, we will not live well. They hope that we won't continue and I don't know what to do. If I don't listen to my parents, I will definitely suffer in the future, but I really like him and don't want to give up and break up.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, concept of marriage.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Friend, hello! The hardest thing in this world is making choices, and the hardest part is choosing between two options. We hope that we make the right choice because one wrong step leads to a series of mistakes, and there's no medicine for regret in the world. I remember a master once said: no matter what you choose, in the end, you will regret it. The situation now is that if we listen to our parents, we feel wronged. If we don't listen to our parents, we worry about our future. Have you ever thought that when you hesitate, you already have your answer? If you think being with him will make you happy, then you don't need to worry anymore, even if your parents disagree. You will believe in your own choice. But in reality, you are wavering, not knowing which is the most advantageous for you. Once love is weighed in terms of pros and cons, this relationship may not be what we want. In the future, when you get married, you may bring up this matter because it has already planted a seed in your heart. Perhaps, as the master said, no matter how you choose, you will regret it. Because the future is unknown, but it is this uncertainty that gives meaning to life. Here, I do have a small suggestion: if you long for a beautiful love, then marriage is a good choice. If you want a better life in the future, then your parents' words make sense. Of course, it doesn't mean that if you marry him, you won't have a good life. You need to put more effort into nurturing it. If you want to know what your married life will be like, get to know his parents' way of life. Life is something you have to live on your own, and choices are something you have to make yourself. I hope that no matter which path you take, it is what you want, and the world and I love you!",
    "has_label": false,
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. Your parents are only looking at your boyfriend's superficial conditions, which indicates that your parents and relatives are more concerned with materialism and vanity. They are not satisfied with the boyfriend you have now and think that their daughter deserves someone with better family conditions. To put it bluntly, they think their daughter should be more valuable. Of course, this viewpoint is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as your boyfriend has no redeeming qualities, then it is reasonable for your parents to want a better family for you. \n\n2. The key point is whether your boyfriend is outstanding in himself, such as whether he is hardworking, ambitious, responsible, and reliable, etc. These are the most important factors that your family has overlooked, and based on your question, you haven't mentioned a single word about it. That can only mean that you and your family are the same kind of people. And also, as you mentioned yourself, if you don't listen to your parents, you will definitely suffer in the future. By using the word \"definitely\", you have already undermined your boyfriend to a large extent. It seems that you believe that a boyfriend with poor family conditions doesn't have a future or happiness with you.\n\n3. The only thing you're not willing to compromise on is that you want someone with both good family conditions and a good relationship. However, you must remember that if you are looking for someone predominantly based on their family conditions, then you need to be a good match as well. To put it simply, if you're after someone with good family conditions, what are they looking for in you? Your looks? Your figure? Your emotional intelligence? Your intelligence? You need to reflect on this yourself, as the saying goes, \"money can only get you as far as you can afford,\" and it applies here as well.",
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug, it's sad that you're going through this. Personally, I think you should first communicate with your parents and find out the reasons behind their objections. In matters of marriage, most parents are ultimately concerned about their daughter's happiness. They may have a different perspective, such as whether there's a house to live in, whether the job is stable, whether there are any serious illnesses, and what the relationship is like with the other parents, etc. They consider these factors to determine if their daughter might be at a disadvantage or uncomfortable if she marries into the other family. However, when we choose our partners, we often fall into a \"brain-dead\" state, putting a perfect filter on our loved ones and thinking that they have no issues or that we can't let go of them. In reality, even though we are all dating, some people are suitable for marriage while others are not. Even if you like someone, being together when it's not suitable for marriage could be a potential source of conflict. So you can see which category your boyfriend belongs to and if you can communicate and resolve these issues. The most important thing is whether both parties are willing to face these problems. If you really like him and he is willing to make a commitment and work together, your parents will eventually relent. I hope my answer can help you (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
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  "questionID": 10572
 },
 {
  "question": "How to deal with the psychological trauma left behind from childhood in 29-year-old woman?",
  "description": "When I was a child, my parents would often argue and fight in front of me. I have realized that even as an adult, I still have psychological barriers and trauma from those experiences. Whenever I hear others arguing, my whole body becomes tense and I start trembling, and I am unable to engage in arguments myself.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, and psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Title master, hello, hugs to you~ I can understand the pain you felt when your parents were arguing in front of you when you were young. Back then, you definitely didn't want to see your parents argue. But those were their mistakes in parenting, setting a bad example for you. You were innocent. Since you are approaching adulthood and your situation is different from when you were a teenager, based on your description that you feel tense and tremble when you hear others arguing and cannot argue yourself, I would like to discuss this matter from two aspects. On one hand, it may be due to your personality. Perhaps a part of your personality is gentle and kind, and you are not inclined to argue or quarrel with others. According to the four temperaments in psychology, you may belong to the melancholic temperament, which is more calm. If this is the reason, I hope you don't worry too much about your situation, as temperament itself is neither good nor bad. Just learn to peacefully coexist with your nature, and you may feel more at ease. On the other hand, concerning the influence of your parents on you, from my experience, the arguments between parents can have two effects on young children when they grow up. One is that it subtly shapes a combative personality, while the other is a dislike for arguments. I think you are more similar to the latter. Considering that you now have the ability to be independent and autonomous, maybe you can find time to communicate more with your parents, get to know them again, and re-establish your relationship with them. Perhaps this can lead to a kind of reconciliation similar to what I experienced when I was a child. If you feel that these issues cannot be resolved through communication, or if some symptoms have already started to affect your normal life, I hope you can seek the help of a psychologist or counselor.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5307
 },
 {
  "question": "Feeling somewhat inferior and easily susceptible to attacks, how can one truly gain self-confidence?",
  "description": "Emotions are easily fluctuating, easily influenced by others, having a people-pleasing personality, and feeling somewhat inferior. I feel suffocated in life and easily become a target of attack. What should I do, especially in the last part, I really lack a sense of security, sigh.",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-improvement.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! I see your helplessness and I want to give you a warm hug. Actually, I want to tell you that most people have feelings of inferiority, even successful people have them to some extent. According to the psychologist Adler, everyone in this world has some feelings of inferiority. It is because of these feelings that we become aware of our shortcomings and strive to improve ourselves. From what you've described, it seems that you may be a sensitive person who seeks validation due to feelings of inferiority. This creates a lack of security. Feelings of inferiority, sensitivity, and insecurity can make us great listeners, empathetic individuals, or good at considering things from others' perspectives. However, feelings of inferiority can also be harmful. Adler believed that people with inferiority complexes are particularly prone to the \"external locus of control\" mindset. In other words, they tend to forcefully interpret unrelated events as \"because of A, I can't achieve B.\" For example, some people might think, \"Because my parents divorced when I was young, I can never get married\" or \"Because I have a poor education, I can't succeed in anything.\" This kind of thinking leads to fear of encountering situations beyond one's control, ultimately causing one to avoid reality and miss out on many opportunities because of a lack of courage to pursue them. To overcome inferiority and become confident, it is important to be yourself and speak your mind during conversations without worrying about how others will perceive you. It's not as exaggerated as you think. Think about why others can speak their minds without feeling strange, but you feel strange when you do it. If no one pays attention to you, you can try making a small joke to get their attention. Speak more about topics you are good at and express your opinions. People might think highly of you and come seek your advice. I believe that if someone approaches you, considering you knowledgeable and skilled, your self-confidence will surely soar.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ Sending you a virtual hug after reading your post. I can feel how cautious, insecure, and lacking in self-confidence you are. I wonder what experiences you went through in your childhood that made you this way. I hope you can break free from this mentality soon, and I would like to give you some advice. 1. If possible, you can seek psychological counseling. You can share your experiences with the counselor, uncover those things in your subconscious that you have deliberately tried to forget, and have a dialogue with them to find resolution. 2. You can try looking at yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself, \"I am amazing.\" After waking up in the morning and finishing your morning routine, look at yourself in the mirror and say, \"I am amazing, I am excellent, and I can do better.\" By reinforcing this positive self-talk, you can gradually boost your self-confidence. 3. Find ways to relax yourself. Occasionally listen to your favorite music, do things you enjoy, go traveling, do exercise, etc. Try to engage in activities that can help relax your body and mind, empty your mind, and reconnect with your inner self. 4. Learn something that interests you. Learn something you enjoy, such as painting, dancing, singing, etc. When you do things you love, you will put more effort into it and see the better side of yourself. 5. Set small goals for yourself. Set some small goals and work towards achieving them. Once accomplished, reward yourself and tell yourself that you can do great things too. Keep going, you can do better!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. I think that in regards to your question, first you need to identify the aspects that make you feel inferior. Perhaps you have already found them, but you are too insecure to voice them. Maybe what I'm saying is a bit straightforward. Then you can seriously consider that the things that make you feel inferior may be better than those of most people. Let me give you an example. Some people feel inferior because their families are not very wealthy and they can't afford to wear designer brands. But who knows that many children in mountainous areas haven't even seen many things? What does it matter if they can't wear designer brands in front of them? I used to feel inferior because of my appearance too, I couldn't look people in the eye and I was afraid of others staring at me. But later I thought, what are all these things? I have a warm family that many people envy, and I'm also in good health. I should feel proud. So don't magnify your minor deficiencies or regrets, and try to be more outgoing in interpersonal interactions. Actually, the aspects you believe make you inferior are not even noticed by others. Don't get trapped in your own thoughts, open up your heart, and fully express yourself. Always remember that you are luckier and more outstanding than most people.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5395
 },
 {
  "question": "How to survive the yearning for my ex-boyfriend after six months of breaking up?",
  "description": "It has been half a year since we broke up, and we haven't had any contact for over a month. He lied to me. While we were together, he hastily got married and had a child with his ex-girlfriend, and only told me about it later. But after confessing, he treated me better, just like being in love. I believed him, but I had to withdraw and cut off all ties with him. Now he occasionally sends me money, but I don't pay any attention to it. However, recently I've been thinking about him a lot, feeling exhausted and just like when I first found out about the breakup. I really want to move on and stop thinking about him. It's just so difficult. I hope everyone can help me.",
  "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "A relationship, they say you can just let go of it, but that's impossible. So, after a separation, there will inevitably be some sadness. I hope you won't blame yourself for it, and don't be too anxious to free yourself. Being too eager to let go may mean that you are too dependent. So, give yourself a chance to become independent again. Specifically, in order to truly let go, you may have to go through a process: 1. Admit that what I lost was not separation, but loss. Because this word carries a stronger sense of finality, it seems unlikely that he will divorce and be with you while still in his marriage. Therefore, you must acknowledge this loss, face this fact, that he is no longer connected to me, or that you can still be ordinary friends but the emotional love is no longer there, those tender moments are only left in memories. 2. Express emotions. At this time, your emotions are complex. For example, towards him, there is love, hatred, helplessness, disappointment, sadness, reluctance, and so on. All these mixed emotions can make it harder for you to let go. You can try to differentiate, what is love and what is hatred, express them through writing, drawing, storytelling, or other ways. It doesn't matter whether you send them or not. In this process, there will be crying, laughter, reluctance, discomfort, etc., all of which are normal. There is no order between steps 1 and 2, and they can be done simultaneously without distinction. However, give yourself some time to slowly sort it out. 3. Learn to be alone. He is no longer by your side, so you need to gradually get used to being alone, no one cares, no one takes care of you, or rather, you no longer take care of him, no longer care about him. From now on, you need to learn to eat and sleep on time, even dress warmly in cold weather, etc., because once you had him, you may have had someone to rely on when going out. Now, you are on your own going back and forth. Adapt slowly and learn to take care of yourself. 4. Enter a new relationship. It is a good choice to enter a new relationship after learning to be alone. At this point, you are more complete, not anxiously looking for someone to replace the missing emotions. At this point, whether someone takes care of you or you take care of someone, you are capable. But even if no one takes care of you, you can take care of yourself. So, you intentionally invest yourself fully into a new emotional relationship without worrying about whether it will last or end. Because either way, you have learned how to face it. At that time, you will smile as you recall the story of that man marrying his ex-girlfriend, without being too saddened by it. What was left behind is just a mark of growth! This is when you truly let go. The road ahead is long, so cherish it and may you go through hardships and learn to take good care of yourself, saying goodbye properly and loving yourself.",
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      "start": 793,
      "end": 895,
      "type": "Interpretation"
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   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, hug you. Trusting and investing emotions in someone can bring you beautiful memories and deep feelings. What you may not forget is the kindness and fulfilling of your emotional expectations from the other person. If this kindness and love are only given to you alone, it would be a happy story. You actually know your current situation well. The other person is already married and has children, and the time when you were in a relationship has passed. Even if he treats you better now, it may not be possible for you to go back to what you had before. Or do you want to secretly continue developing your own feelings? Forgetting someone you love indeed takes time. Now, if the other person is treating you better and even giving you money, it is appropriate for you to ignore it. When you can't forget for the time being, try not to contact the other person anymore. You can keep them in your heart, maybe what you cannot forget is their kindness to you. However, you deserve someone better. Leave it to time, try to divert your attention, talk to trusted friends more, or do things you enjoy to keep yourself busy. Love yourself more, everything will get better. Good luck!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "This is not the kind of man who deserves to be called your \"ex-boyfriend,\" he is just using money and language to deceive your emotions and body. Don't you find him terrifying? If you were the one who got pregnant, married him, and gave birth to his child, you would have thought you found a \"good husband\" for a stable and happy life. Little did you know, the person sleeping beside you actually has another place for pleasure and release. Outside of your marriage, he is playing the role of a \"boyfriend\" to another woman, spending money on her, whispering sweet words to her, and willingly keeping her tangled up in your marriage, always ready to have \"fun\" with her. You should consider yourself lucky to be that woman outside of the marriage. A woman's youth is very short and precious, just like a new pair of shoes. You can choose to step on mud and filth, or you can choose to step on a solid and clean path, either way, they will eventually become old.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "1. Is it really like love? This statement is debatable. What is his purpose for treating you well? 1. To alleviate his own guilt? 2. To develop a casual sexual relationship with you? 3. Does he genuinely like you? If he likes you, then why did he marry someone else? Is it because the other person had his child? This excuse is hard to believe. 2. Getting over a heartbreak. 1. Time. 2. Finding a new love interest. 3. The other person has done something unforgivable. The end of an intimate relationship can indeed be uncomfortable and even painful. Even a cat develops feelings when cared for for a long time, let alone a person. It might be beneficial to give yourself a cliff by completely blocking all contact with him. Start anew.",
    "has_label": false,
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  ],
  "questionID": 9965
 },
 {
  "question": "A 21-year-old girl has been crying for a while, and it continues until now.",
  "description": "From childhood to adulthood, I spent a lot of time with my mother. When I was 12 years old, my father was imprisoned and my mother went out to work. My sister and I were raised by our grandparents. When I was 14 years old, my parents divorced and my mother remarried, taking my sister away. I was very sad, but I convinced myself to always smile. At 16, I entered high school, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't improve my grades in the big school. At 18, I graduated from high school. During my senior year, my father was released from prison and frequently asked me to bring my sister home, but my mother refused. I faced pressure from both sides. In the summer of my senior year, my aunt and uncle advised me to stop studying and suggested that I borrow money from them. I started to please them while also hating them. I no longer trusted the people around me, and my friends grew more distant. After wearing the mask of a \"smile\" for many years, I don't remember what I really look like anymore and how to interact with friends. Perhaps, from the beginning, I was wrong and never had my original self. I am very afraid of being exposed without the mask. After entering college, I met a new group of friends. There were three of us, and the other two had a great understanding, while I felt out of place, especially because my polite attitude made friends who wanted to be closer to me dislike me. I feel scared when she asks me about my problems, but I don't know how to answer, so I can only cry. And for a long time before that, I would cry because of these things.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, psychological assessment.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear. I can tell from your description of constantly shedding tears for a while now that you have been suppressing your emotions for a long time. I hope you can find someone who can listen to you and express your feelings, as it is much better to vent than to suppress. From your description of being told by a stranger during the summer of your senior year that you should borrow money from your aunt and uncle, and then trying to please them while also feeling disgusted with them, it seems like you listened to the stranger's advice and started borrowing money from relatives to go to college. I'm not sure if you had a strong desire to go to college at that time or if it was because you listened to others. Was your goal in going to college to continue your studies or to prepare for future work? Based on your situation, it seems like you had no choice but to borrow money to go to college. Is there another path you can take, such as having your relatives introduce you to some job opportunities? Because I feel like there will be other expenses, such as living expenses, after you start college, and you may need to figure out a way to handle them yourself. As a college freshman, it may not be possible for you to do that right now, so perhaps you need to reconsider what your intentions were when you borrowed money to go to college. But now that you are on campus, accept your situation and try to adapt. However, it seems like you have encountered a new problem where you don't fit in with the other two friends. I can see that carrying the mask of a smile for many years has given you a slight social anxiety, making you less adept at expressing yourself. Actually, I want to say that there's nothing wrong with your polite attitude because respect is important in any type of friendship, whether it's close or not. I think many people would appreciate that kind of personality. And I believe that intimate relationships also require time to develop. As long as you continue to treat others sincerely, perhaps they will adapt to your personality and develop a close relationship with you in a different way.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5014
 },
 {
  "question": "2020 High school entrance examination candidates, my grades have been declining since the beginning of the school year. Can you give me some confidence?",
  "description": "Last year, I had clear goals and specific schools I wanted to apply to, but this year after the start of the school year, my grades kept dropping. I even failed the practice exams, which I've never scored so low on before. Although I keep telling myself to work harder and that it will be better next time, it's just not happening. I feel really tired now, both my teachers and myself are disappointed. The high school entrance exam is only 10 days away, and I really can't go on studying. I want time to slow down, as there are still things I haven't fully understood, but at the same time, I'm exhausted and want to be released from this pressure. Each failing grade is causing me to lose confidence in taking the exam, and I hope that someone can understand me and give me some confidence and luck.",
  "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work, and study.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's internal repression and anxiety. It has been over ten days and the high school entrance exam is also over. I wonder how the OP performed in the exam and what the current situation is. However, personally I think that exams are not only in school, but in every moment of life. The difference is what is being tested. Based on the information provided by the OP, I would like to share some personal opinions for reference, please let me know if there are any conflicts. The OP mentioned that they had clear learning goals and schools they wanted to apply to since last year. Having independent goals is great and not easy. I applaud the OP for that! It's clear that the OP values exam results a lot. Indeed, whether it's the high school entrance exam or the college entrance exam, they are important for every student. The high or low scores in exams determine one's future life goals and directions. The OP only came up with their own learning goals and desired schools last year, which means that before last year, they didn't have independent learning goals. So, the studying before their 9th grade was not for themselves, but only to meet their parents' expectations. Studying to meet their parents' expectations is like carrying the burden of responsibility that originally belongs to the parents. This is already a heavy pressure for a child like the OP and it's hard to bear. When we are young, we need the protection, care, and love of our parents to survive, so subconsciously, we instinctively force ourselves to accept our parents' expectations, hoping to gain their understanding, acceptance, recognition, and love, in order to meet our own needs and survive. However, for parents, if the child does what they say, they will think that the child understands, accepts, and recognizes their thoughts and expectations, without considering whether the child can bear it or not. The older we get and the higher the grade we are in, the bigger the pressure expectations bring. As the OP's self-awareness gradually becomes independent and starts to have their own learning goals and directions, conflicts will arise with their parents' expectations. The subconscious self is also afraid to express these conflicts to their parents, fearing that it will hurt them, so the OP is caught in this conflict and dilemma. Focusing on such conflicts and dilemmas naturally makes it difficult to concentrate on studying, which will affect their learning state and grades, leading to a lack of concentration in studying and declining grades. This can be said to be the result of the OP's inner conflict and also the silent rebellion of the subconscious self. If the attention is not focused, the grades will decline, and as a result, they will not be able to meet their parents' expectations of getting into the desired school. This can be seen as rejecting and rebelling against their parents, fulfilling the needs of the independent self. However, parents are not aware of these thoughts and feelings of the OP, so the OP can try to express their thoughts and feelings to their parents, listen to their thoughts and feelings, release and relieve their own pressure, and at the same time promote in-depth communication and understanding between them and their parents, improve the relationship and development of feelings with their parents. In this way, the OP can establish a stable and harmonious intimate relationship with their parents, and no longer feel lonely, anxious, and helpless. They can face studying and exams confidently and naturally, and strive towards their ideal goals.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello. The person who runs to the finish line at their own pace is courageous and admirable. You can take 99 steps, so you can definitely take the final one too. I understand your feelings very well. Your declining grades have shattered your confidence, and the sense of urgency has left you feeling helpless. You may have thought about giving up to alleviate the pressure, but there is also a sense of unwillingness. Analyze the reasons for your declining grades carefully. Is it because of excessive psychological pressure? Are you unable to focus on studying? Do you feel anxious and blame yourself for not knowing enough? Clarifying the problem will help you find the right solution. Only ten days are left, and time is indeed tight. It may pass even faster, so you need to plan carefully for these ten days and closely follow your teacher's guidance. Don't worry about your exam results. Instead, think about how to acquire more knowledge, solve more problems, and learn more problem-solving techniques in the remaining time. The more time you spend on self-blame and regret, the less time you have for studying and reviewing. Realize the importance of these last few days, stay calm, and move forward slowly. Don't compare yourself with anyone else, only compare yourself with your past self. When we are tired, we may want to give up, but when we truly give up, we will surely regret it. Look for the embrace and comfort of those around you, give yourself encouragement and motivation, and don't care about the outcome. Just focus on reaching the finish line and keep going. I know you are very tired right now and you want to escape this kind of life immediately. You may already be pushing yourself to improve, but you don't see good results. That's okay. Give yourself time to relax and enjoy every day, so that your stress doesn't become overwhelming. Even if you don't achieve good results, your family will always love and support you. Your worth is not determined by your grades. Your worth lies in the fact that you strive for the goals you want to achieve. That is enough. You can talk to your parents about your current thoughts. I believe they don't want to see you in such pain and only hope that you can get through these ten days in a good way. Study as much as you can, and whatever test scores you achieve will be sufficient. You are a responsible and hardworking child, and you will definitely make your own choices. No matter what they are, you have already done your best, and that is great. Believe in yourself and believe in the efforts you have made. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16977
 },
 {
  "question": "Having suffered from chronic bad breath for more than 10 years, it has had a significant impact on my life and made me very withdrawn. What should I do?",
  "description": "For over 10 years, I have always felt that I have bad breath, so I involuntarily push people away in my daily life. Now, I feel more and more withdrawn, not wanting to socialize, and giving off an aloof and unapproachable impression at work. Every morning, my first thought is that I have bad breath, and it makes me feel hopeless. This despair has started to affect my life. I have seen doctors and taken medications, but the problem has not been completely resolved. It's very frustrating.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! Hug you! @In general, bad breath problems may be related to oral or gastrointestinal issues, and sometimes it can be attributed to dietary habits. Regular brushing, paying attention to cleanliness, or using chewing gum and mouthwash can be effective. In terms of physical covering, just like in the summer when many people have body odor, they use deodorant sprays or perfumes. Psychological problems can also cause discomfort in the stomach and result in bad breath. @What did the doctor say after examining you? Normally, once the cause of bad breath is identified, consistently taking medication can help alleviate the problem, although I may not have much knowledge in this area. Perhaps it is more of a psychological concern for you! Have you ever experienced rejection or negative comments from others due to bad breath? Is your breath really bad now? Could it be a form of projection, where even though the person who troubled me in the past is no longer around, their words still have a significant impact on me, making me constantly aware of it. Therefore, I am sensitive to this issue, and when someone approaches me to talk, I subconsciously interpret it as rejection by covering their nose or making a disgusted face. My suggestion is for you to ask your family members to smell your breath and see if it is really bad. Another possibility is that the power of suggestion is strong, causing your bad breath to persist. The most crucial thing is to first address the psychological concerns. @Rather than trying to change others' perceptions, it is better to change yourself. Others' influence is indeed significant, but whether you believe it or not depends on your own mindset. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge your own worth and not feel inferior or anything because of bad breath; maintain self-confidence. Right now, you have internalized bad breath as a compulsive belief, which causes a lot of distress. When you accept this fact, you won't overly mind or be concerned, which in turn affects your social interactions. Yes, encountering this issue can generate feelings of insecurity, avoidance of socializing, and avoiding intimate conversations, among other things. How painful it is! Many of us often struggle with accepting the realities we cannot change. But truly accepting the present reality can reduce suffering. The truth causes you pain, while your worries will only drain your energy. Instead, if you allow fear and suffering to flow within your heart without trying to resist it, through careful self-awareness, you can find the root of the problem\u2014that is, what you are afraid of. Yes, your distress comes from bad breath, but where did this phenomenon originate? Perhaps self-awareness can help you! Hoping you can solve the problem soon!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "There are two ways to address this issue: one is to completely eliminate the problem of bad breath, and the other is to try not to mind your bad breath, just like accepting other flaws. Some people may not accept it, but some insensitive people may not see it as a problem. What is the cause of the bad breath? Sometimes gum disease or oral problems can also cause bad breath. It is recommended to visit a dentist or consult a few more experts to try to find the cause and cure it. Additionally, chewing gum or drinking more water may be helpful. Perhaps before communicating with others, you can prepare yourself and freshen your breath to hide your problem. However, you mentioned \"feel\" once, so is it really that bad? Have your family or friends ever mentioned it to you? Then how did they tolerate it? If your bad breath problem is truly unsolvable by modern medicine, then you can only try to accept it. You can use some breath fresheners or chew gum regularly to cover your breath, and actively inform the other person before speaking that you have this problem and may need to maintain some distance. If they can't tolerate it, it must be brought up, and the choice is left to the other person. As long as you remember to give a prior warning and do your best, I believe everyone will understand and may even think you are very polite and considerate, which can lead to a favorable impression. I remember when I was in school, there was a classmate who always had a strange odor, but he didn't think it was a problem at all. He was still very confident and laid-back. Instead, we felt awkward to bring up the issue, although we discussed it privately. But because he was always willing to help others and talk to us, we felt that this problem could be overcome. He also had close friends who didn't seem to mind his body odor. So sometimes people are tolerant of minor flaws, let alone those who are not sensitive to smells. Therefore, I think you can boldly give it a try, as long as you provide a prior warning, it won't be so severe. After all, if others can't accept it, they can just leave. Your flaws cannot replace your whole being, and you have many other strengths, don't you? Would it be a loss to avoid socializing and more opportunities because of this small imperfection? Focus more on the things you do well, concentrate on the beautiful aspects of life, and it may help alleviate your current emotions.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the best way to change your current condition is to treat your bad breath. There are mainly two reasons for bad breath. First, oral diseases such as dental caries and gingivitis can cause oral odor. You should observe your own oral health and seek treatment for any oral diseases as soon as possible, as they are easily treatable. Second, bad breath can be caused by stomach heat. I suspect that the main reason for your bad breath over the past decade is stomach heat. To address this issue, you need to adjust your diet and daily routine, seek guidance from Traditional Chinese Medicine, and take medication to clear heat and relieve internal fire. However, it will take some time, so you need to persevere. Eat less greasy and heavy foods, focus on a light diet, drink plenty of water, and consume fruits and vegetables. Maintain a regular lifestyle and avoid staying up late, try to go to bed and get up early. Engage in regular physical exercise, sweat every day, and take a hot shower to feel refreshed before going to work. With consistent effort, your physical condition will improve and the problem of bad breath will also change. Trust me. In addition, you need to change your mindset. Don't pay too much attention to your problems. No one is perfect, and many people have the problem of bad breath, it's just that you haven't noticed it too much. As long as you maintain a certain distance when talking to others, it generally won't affect them too much. You can try it. Chew some peppermints or drink some peppermint water during normal times, as it can slightly improve your current problem. Finally, I wish you all the best.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4068
 },
 {
  "question": "A 19-year-old college freshman is still unsure of what his true inner desires are.",
  "description": "I just started my freshman year, and I don't think I really understand what I really want, which leads to a constant struggle within myself between conforming to so-called rules and regulations and following the supposed correct path. I constantly feel that many of the things I am supposed to do are not what I truly desire. Gradually, I have a strong feeling of not wanting to waste my life like this. However, there is also a real thought there that I can't seem to clarify, and I want to know if there is any way to listen to my inner responses.",
  "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, developmental patterns, and the meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello: A very good question, a question that deserves to be pondered by anyone. \"What does a person truly want in their heart?\" Different eras, different family backgrounds, and different personalities may yield different answers. If you want to know, personally I think it is important to understand your own upbringing, personality traits, and the formation of your own preferences. Analyzing the problem: 1. Just starting college, you may not have figured out what you truly want, resulting in internal conflicts between following the so-called rules and regulations, the consciousness of the so-called correct path, and the feeling that many of these should-dos are not what you want. (Today's young people have many choices, but having too many choices can also be a disadvantage. In my own experience at your age, our communication and socialization were very limited, mostly through QQ, and we felt like there were so many things we did not understand. This would then spark excitement to learn more and through that process, we gradually discovered our preferences. - You mentioned \"rules and regulations,\" and I can somewhat understand, as I also dislike the restrictions. But as I grow older, I have to admit that \"rules and regulations\" may be a necessary gate for individuals in this socialized world. Although there are many repulsive aspects to it, it also serves as guidance for newcomers. - Yes, you said it well. Rules are dead, people are alive, so how can these cold rules control us who are \"living with warmth\"? We still need to follow the rules, but we also need to respect our own inner selves. How can we do both? In the process of growing up, you will gradually understand that you should follow what needs to be followed, but there are ways to handle what should not be followed indirectly. However, this does require enough experience and wisdom to discern.) 2. There is gradually a strong feeling of not wanting to waste life in this way. (A person doing things without meaning, things that they do not want to do, will eventually lead to disappointment and boredom. It is especially true during the youthful years that we naturally do not want to waste time. In these youthful years, we definitely want to do meaningful things. Although I do not know specifically which rules and regulations you are referring to, I think they are something you strongly reject. However, please also consider that while you are still in the process of learning, you can choose to study the good things and not the bad things. But within the rules set by others, you still have to follow them. \"Following\" does not necessarily mean agreement. One day, when you are able to establish rules in certain areas, others will listen to you. Your predecessors have gone through this path as well.) 3. However, there is also a genuine desire that is there, but it is unclear how to understand it and I want to know the way to listen to my inner responses. (I believe that your heart definitely has a judgment of right and wrong, but you are still young and there is a lot for you to learn. At the same time, you can preserve your inner voice, and life will gradually let you understand yourself and clarify what those voices truly are. If you want to know now, you can try some methods. - Quiet yourself down, allowing yourself to feel your own soul. - Engage with wise people and seek advice from them. - Learning is also a channel, the more you understand, the broader your perspective becomes. The fabled frog at the bottom of the well may see the sky correctly, but its vision is limited. - You can also explore your own inner journey with a counselor and see which parts of your growth may be lagging or fixated. Conclusion: Wishing you happiness and joy! Wishing you to understand yourself and know yourself sooner! If you have any confusion, feel free to direct message me!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, at the most emotionally and mentally challenging times in life, I completely understand your feelings and I want to offer you an empathetic hug. I also questioned what a university education could offer me when I was a freshman. I wandered aimlessly for a year, feeling like nothing was what I liked or expected. Everywhere there were hidden rules, even applying for party membership or being evaluated as excellent had hidden rules. I had no resources, except for being poor, failing courses, feeling inferior, afraid, and being excluded. It was the worst year of my life before I turned forty. I went from being a top student in high school to a struggling student in college, and then returned to being a top student. I was the first in my department to find a job, eight months before everyone else started searching. Life seemed to have color again, and the scales in my world were finally balanced. I began to reconsider the meaning of life. There was no wasted road. Each step counts. To enjoy the present, I discovered that what I do for a living now has nothing to do with my college major. I take great pleasure in the sense of accomplishment and value it brings me. But looking back, if I hadn't gone through those twists and turns in the first twenty years, I wouldn't have ended up on the smooth road I am on today. Even if I had studied psychology twenty years ago, it doesn't necessarily mean I would have pursued this career. I share these twenty years of detours with you. Don't worry about whether the path ahead is what you desire. Focus on the present, do your best with what you have at hand. Sometimes, when we are grounded and fully focused in the present, and we truly enjoy it, beautiful answers will naturally emerge. Stay mindful throughout this process. All roads lead to Rome, the key is whether you truly desire to go to Rome. You can enjoy studying at this university, and use every opportunity to explore, create, and experience this journey. As for the final outcome, it won't be too bad. I recommend the books \"Live Optimistic\" and \"Mindfulness: This Moment Is a Flower\".",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 1815
 },
 {
  "question": "Is it normal to sometimes dislike being a woman at the age of 20?",
  "description": "I have an inherent aversion to being a girl, especially during my menstruation period. Moreover, I have no interest in boys, reject romance and marriage, and have thoughts of living alone until old age. I struggle with the identity of being a girl, and sometimes it really bothers me... Do I have a problem with my sexual orientation?",
  "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Little fairy, after seeing your confession, I can understand how you feel right now. First, here's a warm hug for you. (\uff70\u0300\u03b5\uff70\u0301) You feel a bit repulsed about being a girl and don't want to get married in the future. These issues might be influenced by your family of origin, for example, whether there is a preference for boys over girls in your family? What is your relationship like with your parents? Are your parents' relationship good? Or maybe something happened in the past that made you particularly repulsed by women? (\u25cf\u2014\u25cf) I believe that repulsing yourself as a girl and your sexual orientation are two different issues, so there's no need to be too entangled. Maybe it's just childhood or certain experiences that have led to these thoughts. Find the root of the problem, solve it, and everything will be okay. Wishing you the best!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 22029
 },
 {
  "question": "Middle school student, family oppression, isolation and betrayal from good friends, what should I do?",
  "description": "Being isolated during middle school is quite common, I experienced it in elementary school. I was influenced by my friends and became mature earlier, which led to being isolated and bullied by my friends. I was quite popular in elementary school, but the dormitory leader took advantage of her power to take away everyone around me and hurt me, even to the extent of kneeling down. Every day was unbearable, I cried almost every day, and the more I thought about it, the sadder I became. When I finished elementary school and entered middle school, I thought about treating everyone around me well. I don't know if it's because of me, maybe I have low emotional intelligence, so I'm cautious in everything I do, but I like to find someone to confide in, and I also keep secrets that need to be kept confidential. I have a best friend, we used to be inseparable, we were very happy every day. But at the beginning of the second semester of the first grade, I felt that she had changed. I didn't understand her behavior, like talking bad about teachers and classmates, I tried to stop her, but she argued with me. I don't know if I did the right thing, but in the end, I gave in to her. I don't ask for much, I just want to find a close friend. I don't know if my possessiveness is too strong, but she gradually started to hang out with another friend. Her actions make me sad. I have apologized to her, but she still ignores me. The homeroom teacher is aware of this situation and advised me not to play with her anymore. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader! Sending you a big virtual hug. It seems like your studying environment has changed, and the people around you have changed too. You have grown distant from old friends, and the ways you used to make friends haven't been successful in finding new ones. On top of that, you have been hurt by some classmates. I can imagine that you must feel helpless and a deep sense of loss. It is normal for friends' personalities and behaviors to change. Everyone is influenced by time and their surroundings. However, it is important to resist certain negative changes. You haven't done anything wrong, such as advising your friends not to speak ill of teachers and classmates. Here are a few suggestions: 1. Stay true to yourself. Don't just try to please others, but always stay true to your kind-hearted self. If you feel distant from your old friends, it might be because you have slightly different perspectives on the world. However, when it comes to judging what is right and wrong, you need to stick to your own convictions. 2. Embrace change. Close friendship can be affected by changing interests, tastes, and aesthetics. But if your core values and beliefs change too much, it may become difficult for everyone to connect. If you feel this way, it's possible that you have reached a crossroads in your friendship. Perhaps you can still communicate and accompany each other as before, but there may be a distance in your hearts. Don't worry; be grateful for the friends who have accompanied you in the past. In the future, you will have the opportunity to meet like-minded buddies. 3. Seek out beneficial friendships. In life, you can choose two kinds of people: friends and partners. Regarding those classmates who have hurt you, be brave and say no, learn to protect yourself. If your classmates have done something excessive, I hope you promptly inform your parents and teachers, seeking their help in resolving and mediating the situation. Every kind-hearted person deserves love and tenderness. In your message, you have continuously reflected on your own issues, and I can feel that you are a gentle and good-hearted child. I hope you can emerge from this darkness and meet friends who will treat you kindly. Wishing you the best! The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "No matter what happens, treat it as your own experience. In this rapidly changing society, if there is anything that can give you lasting security, it is a positive mindset and continuous effort. Those who hurt you are either stronger or weaker than you. If they are weaker, forgive them; if they are stronger, forgive yourself.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14176
 },
 {
  "question": "How to deal with visitors who are silent or speak very little?",
  "description": "How to deal with a visitor who is silent and does not speak? How to carry out the work when the visitor does not talk or speaks very little.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the question you raised is indeed a common issue that counselors often encounter in their work. As a mental health counselor who works with adolescents on a long-term basis, I can relate to this situation. It especially occurs with adolescent visitors who are brought into the counseling room by their teachers or parents. Let me share with you one approach that I would take. I might ask the person, \"Hmm, I'm not sure what reasons you have for being willing or unwilling to come here, but it seems like you have some thoughts about it. If you're willing, you can share with me. If you still choose not to speak, that's okay too. However, I'll be here with you for this session.\" At this point, some visitors often undergo some changes. When dealing with adult visitors, it would be necessary to address the specific situation. If the silence occurs during the counseling process, it could be that the visitor is reflecting on and processing the issue internally. The above is just my personal experience in my work, which I am sharing with you for reference.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4228
 },
 {
  "question": "Why doesn't he ever reach out to chat with me? What is he thinking in his mind?",
  "description": "A casual partner spent 1000 to have a one-night stand with me, and even called me his wife on the first night. I wonder what he was thinking. He never talks to me during normal times. On the second time, he spent another 1000 to see me. He even held me while sleeping because he was afraid I would be cold at night. But after he sent me home, he still didn't contact me. I can't figure him out. Actually, I quite like him, but I'm too scared to confess my feelings. I just want to know if he likes me.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello OP! In the context of a casual sexual relationship and possibly involving some financial transactions, it seems that when it comes to the act itself, he appears to be considerate towards you, giving you a sense of being liked, cared for, and warmed. Both materially and psychologically, it feels like your needs are being met. As a result, you start to develop feelings for this \"guy\". However, outside of the sexual relationship, he becomes distant, leaving you confused. Is that right? From an evolutionary psychology perspective, males have a natural instinct to cast a wide net in order to pass on their genes. Therefore, they strive to engage in sexual relationships with different women without much emotional attachment. Moreover, men are quite clear about differentiating between short-term and long-term relationships, separating sex and love. From the very beginning, your relationship is destined to be a short-term one, with a very slim possibility of him investing in you for a long-term commitment or truly caring for you. On the contrary, there are significant differences between men and women. Women need to support and raise children, so they tend to seek men who are sincere and capable to be their \"sole\" companions. Physiologically speaking, after engaging in sexual activity, women secrete a large amount of oxytocin, which leads to greater dependence on the partner. In other words, women easily transition from sex to love. In your relationship, it is likely that you will become more and more dependent on him while he continues to be distant. If one day you suggest transforming the casual relationship into something more serious or becoming his girlfriend, he may disappear immediately. I'm not sure if you are participating in this type of relationship out of loneliness or lack of love, or if it is due to material scarcity. Although it may temporarily alleviate your material and psychological needs, such behavior is destructive to your true choice of a life partner and will ultimately bring more harm than benefit. Don't waste your time, take responsibility for yourself, love yourself, and seek a guy who truly loves you and has a willingness for a long-term commitment. Only then can you experience genuine happiness and a true connection of love.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 5962
 },
 {
  "question": "Why do I always want to cry for no reason? It's been six months... I have suicidal thoughts.",
  "description": "Always want to cry, can burst into tears over a small conflict, have suicidal tendencies, and have ropes and knives ready. The last vacation was the most severe, even set a date, but failed several times. Feeling more and more useless, not doing well in studies, experiencing headaches on both sides of the head, but no insomnia. Also, losing interest in drawing anime, feeling so depressed. It has been half a year... What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Emotion, depressive mood, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, there is no reason to cry without any reason and cry heavily over a small contradiction. I think it may be because you have too many repressed emotions in your heart, and they are no longer easily controllable. Therefore, even small things can trigger your emotions and even cause a breakdown. The reason you think there is no reason is because these emotions may have been suppressed and entered your subconscious mind. Although you may not be aware of it, they are still affecting you. This is actually a self-protection mechanism of our consciousness, which can prevent us from experiencing too much pain. However, the repressed emotions are still there, just like a trash can that you don't empty in time and keep throwing garbage into. Eventually, the trash can will be full and become rotten and smelly. Our emotions are the same. Unprocessed emotional garbage may manifest itself in other forms, just like your current breakdown and heavy crying. I think the current situation also indicates that you need help, you need professional psychologists or counselors to enter your heart and help you sort out your emotions, and see what exactly is troubling and affecting you. However, even if you see a psychologist or counselor, you need your own cooperation and effort. So, you can also try to go deep into your own heart and think about it. Which past events were not handled properly at the time? In which situations are you most easily triggered by emotions? Try to be aware of your emotions and understand your inner self. In the past six months, you have attempted suicide multiple times but have not succeeded. I think there must be many people who love you around you, they will promptly notice your abnormality and save you. So, for the sake of their never giving up on you, can you also persist a little longer? Persist in seeing a doctor, and the situation will gradually improve. Believe that your insomnia can be improved, and you may one day regain your passion for the anime you like. You will also have more things you want to do, your own dreams and aspirations. Don't give up on yourself. Hug you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "This is getting stuck at a certain point in the past, entangled in a trauma, unable to self-heal, and self-comfort doesn't work, causing continuous pain, disappointment, and sadness. A better way is to analyze the event through the trauma, discover oneself, clear the mind, and accept oneself, ultimately being able to embrace oneself. At the same time, you can try to increase physical exercise, engage in outdoor activities, bask in the sun, and actively connect with others. Believe in yourself, let go of the past, embrace a new life, and start anew.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 19260
 },
 {
  "question": "Choosing leads to regret, not choosing leads to discomfort. Afraid to make decisions? How to adjust?",
  "description": "To choose a boyfriend, I have to navigate between multiple people. It takes me two days to decide on buying a pair of shoes, and even then I feel regret. If I don't choose, I feel uneasy. How can I adjust?",
  "keywords": "Growth and character development.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that OP always finds it difficult to make choices and feels regret after making a choice, not knowing what to do. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. Be mentally prepared for making the wrong choice. Before making a choice, tell yourself that it's not something particularly important, and it's okay to make a mistake. You can always change your choice if you make the wrong one. Seek more opinions from others and consider more objective factors. 2. Have a pre-judgment on what is most important to you. For example, when buying something, decide whether OP cares more about the price or the quality of the item, and choose a single criterion. When OP is unable to make a good choice, bring out this criterion for the final judgment. Once it's brought out, don't change your choice anymore. This will make OP more efficient in decision-making. Hope this is helpful to OP.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18065
 },
 {
  "question": "Feeling shame when thinking about the mistakes they have made is a common experience. How can one reconcile with their mistakes?",
  "description": "There have been many mistakes from childhood to adulthood, and I remember them very clearly. Every incident, every word spoken, every time I unintentionally recall them, I feel ashamed. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Emotions, guilt, shame.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "I deeply understand the pain in the original poster's heart. They carry a sense of shame and cannot accept the mistakes they believe they have made. It is normal for people to make mistakes, and not all mistakes are bad things. Failure is the mother of success, and making mistakes allows people to correct and improve themselves. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has a different definition of what constitutes a mistake. Except for those prohibited by the law, other types of mistakes may be permissible to some degree. Making mistakes also has reasons behind it, and regardless of the reasons, they can be understood. Although criminals who commit murder and other serious crimes deserve punishment from a legal perspective, they also deserve sympathy and understanding from a psychological perspective. The original poster feels deep shame for making mistakes. It is important to examine the reasons behind this. It is normal to feel guilt for making mistakes, as everyone experiences this, but remembering each and every mistake and feeling ashamed is rooted in the early interactions we had with our caregivers. If parents are very strict or criticize, reject, or ignore their child when they do something that goes against the parents' wishes, the child will feel that they are not good enough and that everything is their fault. They will not be accepted by their parents, leading to a deep sense of guilt and shame for their mistakes. Because we believe that our parents, who love us the most, think that something is wrong, in order to gain their approval, we internalize their patterns in our minds. In the child's mind, a strict superego is formed, constantly policing and judging their every action as wrong or bad. The child will also use their parents' standards to evaluate whether they have made mistakes. They will identify with the experience of guilt and shame when their parents criticize them. As adults, as long as there is even a slight resemblance to the patterns our parents had with us or if it is mostly a child's fantasy, we generalize the emotional experiences of our parents' responses to us. This results in shame permeating every aspect of our inner world. Those feelings are real, even if they are from the past. They are deeply ingrained in our hearts and minds. However, those are our parents' standards and their experiences of mistakes, not ours. What really is the standard for our mistakes? Are those experiences truly correct? Let go of our parents' perspective and look at our own true feelings. It may be painful to do so, but we will see a vulnerable version of ourselves and also the parents who have hurt us. Take a look, be brave, and see ourselves. Seeing ourselves is love, wishing ourselves well.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your brief description, I understand the pain in your heart. However, your past mistakes have already disappeared with time. Even if they are unintentionally remembered, don't worry about them. I don't know what mistakes you made or if they have harmed others. If you have hurt someone, learn to be honest and make amends. If the mistakes have only caused disappointment or failure for yourself, be brave and remember that failure is not a big deal. Because failure also has its meaning and helps you grow. First, learn to say goodbye to mistakes. In life, everyone will make mistakes due to carelessness or negligence. These unconscious mistakes can make us feel uncomfortable because the results are usually unsatisfactory. It can lead to disappointment, sadness, pain, and even regret. Learn to face it and say goodbye to mistakes. Secondly, nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Just like stumbling while walking or sometimes splashing water while drinking, people make mistakes unintentionally. However, once it happens, you need to find the cause and avoid similar situations in the future. Lastly, open your heart and accept your mistakes. The only way to free yourself from pain is by accepting the mistakes you have made and making them a part of your life experience. Embrace them and be grateful for their presence because they have taught you to be more mature and successful. It's okay if they come to mind from time to time, as it shows that you are deeply reflecting. I hope sharing this will be helpful to you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4205
 },
 {
  "question": "What is wrong if someone frequently fantasizes and hopes to be harmed or die accidentally?",
  "description": "I often fantasize and hope to be harmed or die accidentally. I don't remember when it started, but these thoughts have been occurring frequently for a long time. What is happening to me?",
  "keywords": "Growth, improved character, self-acceptance.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I'm here to comfort you. You mentioned that you often fantasize and hope for harm or accidental death. So please think about whether these thoughts have affected your life. Have you ever harmed yourself or others because of these thoughts? Have you tried to resist these thoughts but found it difficult to control them? If these thoughts are affecting your emotions and life, I suggest you take the right steps to resolve them. 1. Seek professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist to better understand your current state and address any physical issues in a timely manner. 2. Confide in your family, friends, or other trusted individuals to gain emotional support. Having someone by your side may alleviate the frequency of these thoughts, and the people who care about you will support and help you. 3. Engage in activities that interest you during your free time to make your life more fulfilling and appreciate the small joys in life. 4. Focus on the present, pay attention to tasks that need to be completed, and show care for the people you love. When thoughts of death arise, redirect your attention. Fantasizing about harm or accidental death is a noteworthy signal from your body, so I hope you take it seriously and understand what might be going on with you. I wish you well! Hopefully, this can be of help to you. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Mmm, it could be that the boring and comfortable life caused some kind of common mental illness (I made it up myself) to occur. (I'm not a professional, don't trust me.) It's okay, I also like it this way, I've been like this since I was three years old (just started remembering things). Don't worry, it hardly affects life, it just might make you appear a bit more childish.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 11289
 },
 {
  "question": "Am I pretending to be someone who can love when I'm always incapable of being in a relationship with someone?",
  "description": "I'm probably a person incapable of love. My relationships never last more than a month, but the gaps between them are usually about four or five years. Because of my young appearance and pleasant voice that my parents gave me, people often mistake me for a student when they see me without makeup. When I'm in a relationship, I use this to my advantage. I intentionally act cute and innocent, showing vulnerability, and creating opportunities for closeness. Every gesture and action is calculated to achieve my goals. However, I actually detest intimacy. Even with various forms of intimacy, I have boundaries, and even with physical contact, I feel awkward deep down inside. When my first love leaned on my shoulder and talked about happiness, it made me sick. If someone wants to hold my hand tightly, I feel coerced. Even though I've been in relationships, I've never kissed anyone, and when they lock eyes with me, I find it terrifying. People think I have a very open attitude on social media, but to me, it's just a game. I only see the other person as a fool. I get immersed in idol dramas, but once I become desensitized, I find the stories so fake. I'm simply pretending to be capable of love, as love has never made my heart flutter.",
  "keywords": "Dating, single, relationship management.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Due to an extreme need for love and a longing for perfection, coupled with a lack of security, the inability to fully invest in intimate relationships becomes normalized. Ultimately, this stems from a lack of self-confidence and ineffective processing of negative memories, leading to the formation of misguided beliefs. When one does not love oneself, it becomes difficult to provide a sense of security, self-acceptance, and care, instead relying on others to fulfill these needs. Excessive dependence on others for these emotional needs is unrealistic. It places an immense burden on others, similar to adopting a baby on one's life journey and constantly needing to care for them, which is something most people cannot endure. It's not that others are unwilling, but they lack the obligation and capability. Therefore, even if we have experienced feelings of indifference in our memories, we should strive to become someone who can feel loved. Set aside preconceived notions and expectations of receiving security, confidence, validation, praise, attention, and encouragement from others - first learn to provide them for yourself. Individuals with severe lack of love did not experience quality love in their primordial families, therefore they often don't know how to love themselves or believe they have the ability to do so. They significantly overlook their own abilities and strength, mistakenly thinking that they can only rely on others for these emotions, reflecting an infantile psychological fixation. Only by courageously breaking through self-imposed limitations and reclaiming control over their lives can one break free from the cycle of being unable to love. Understand yourself, be sensitive to your own needs, console yourself, and recognize your own worth. It's difficult for such individuals to understand or perceive others' needs. Only when you learn to love yourself and cultivate yourself to be a good mirror, will your interactions with others be unencumbered and have the ability to build quality relationships.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, the problem you mentioned is very relatable. I can't maintain a romantic relationship for more than a month, with intervals of about four to five years. As you said, love is a skill that not everyone is born with. British psychoanalyst John Bowlby conducted an \"attachment experiment,\" categorizing the attachment patterns between mothers and children into secure attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment, and disorganized attachment. The child's first relationship with society is with their mother, and how the mother makes the child feel will shape their perception of the world. If a child feels loved and secure, they perceive the world as safe and themselves as protected, which encourages them to explore. However, if a child feels neglected and unsupported, the world appears cold and dangerous, and they lose the motivation to explore. The child's interactions initially stem from the mother. The inability to develop the capacity to love is heavily influenced by childhood, but this ability can also be nurtured through interactions with others, such as friends and intimate partners. It is difficult for a child who has never experienced love and does not understand what love is to develop the ability to love others. Due to my youthful appearance and a pleasant voice inherited from my parents, people usually mistake me for a student when they first see me without makeup. When I'm in a romantic relationship, I use this to my advantage. I deliberately act cute and innocent, showing vulnerability and creating opportunities for closeness. Every action and behavior is calculated to achieve my goals. However, I actually dislike intimacy. Even with various types of intimacy, I have my boundaries, and even when there is physical contact, I feel awkward on the inside. Understanding the advantages of my appearance and using them to achieve my goals is a natural instinct for survival. We make the best choices based on our current circumstances, and every action is driven by positive motives. Motives are not wrong; it's just that the actions may not yield the intended results. For example, deliberately acting cute and vulnerable has a positive motive of creating opportunities for closeness and fulfilling the desire for connection with others. However, while acting cute may satisfy some of your \"intimacy\" needs, it doesn't fulfill the need for establishing boundaries. Perhaps finding a different way to communicate your boundaries, such as clearly saying no when you feel you can't get any closer, would be helpful. I immerse myself in idol dramas, but once I become desensitized, I find the stories to be fake. I am a person who pretends to be capable of romantic love, but love has never made my heart flutter. On one hand, immersing myself in idol dramas satisfies my emotional brain, but on the other hand, after finishing a TV series, my rational brain steps in and reminds my emotional brain that it's all fake. It feels like there are two little people in my mind fighting each other. I fantasize about sweet romantic love, but when I imagine myself as the lead character, everything falls apart. \"Love\" as an emotion is unfamiliar, and when faced with the unfamiliar, we are always conflicted. We want to take risks and seek excitement, but we also fear the terrible consequences that may come with it. Perhaps you can ask yourself if you are willing to truly \"risk\" and let the other person know your true thoughts and emotions. What would happen once they know? I hope this answer can be helpful to you! Karen.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "In fact, the OP is not incapable of love, but rather you feel like everything is under your control. We need to understand that the reason people fall into love is because of the unknown, the experience of not knowing, which makes your heart beat and makes you feel like you're in love. The OP says, \"When in a relationship, I will use this point to achieve my goals. I deliberately act cute and helpless, create opportunities to get close but still look innocent. Every action and behavior is designed by me to achieve my goals. However, I hate intimacy. Even with various forms of intimacy, I have my limits, and even with physical contact, I feel awkward inside. When in a relationship, you can use your intelligence to gain your partner's attention and fulfill your own needs, but you need to realize that others can also discern the authenticity of your actions. If others fulfill your needs, do not think it is your intelligence that has won them over, but that they know how to care for and love you, which is rare. We should always be grateful for that. Thank them. Lastly, what I want to say is, \"Be yourself.\" In our social life, we often unconsciously hope to gain the admiration of as many people as possible. However, interpersonal relationships are long-term and ongoing processes. If we are accustomed to shaping our image according to the expectations and preferences of others, one day when this \"mask\" is revealed, the carefully crafted social image will instantly collapse, resulting in the opposite effect. Nobody can please everyone. When a person sincerely identifies with themselves and remains true to themselves, they will attract friends and loved ones who truly appreciate them.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, miss. After reading your words, I sense a contradiction. On one hand, you deliberately act cute and display vulnerability to seek closeness with others. But on the other hand, you \"hate intimacy\" and what others see as \"intimacy\" becomes \"disgusting\" and \"terrifying\" to you. This is why your relationships don't last. It has reached a point where you say, \"I'm just pretending that I can have a relationship, love has never moved me.\" In summary, you have a conflicting psychology regarding \"intimate relationships\" \u2013 you have some desires for them but also resistance. From a psychoanalytic perspective, there is a conflict between your consciousness and your subconscious, and your subconscious energy is astonishing, often overriding your consciousness. In my personal experience, this may be related to your upbringing and possibly issues within the emotional connections or intimate relationships with your family, so could you tell me about your original family situation? For example, what is the state of your parents' marriage? How has the intimacy between you and your parents been from childhood to now? Additionally, how have your interpersonal relationships been in your daily life?",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hi, regarding your approach to relationships, I must say that I inexplicably admire and respect it. Instead of thinking that you are incapable of love, I see it as a manifestation of high emotional intelligence. I think your dilemma might lie in the fact that even though you are in a relationship, you don't feel the emotions associated with being in love. This contradiction and confusion might bother you, right?\n\nThere is a saying that goes \"playfully indifferent.\" This attitude can have both positive and negative aspects. It can bring about advantages in the process of love, as it implies having strong psychological defense mechanisms and being less prone to hurt and sadness. Of course, everything has a double-edged sword. In the course of a relationship, we may find ourselves having conflicting thoughts and feelings. We may perceive the other person as a fool deep down, but for the sake of enjoyment or to satisfy their pursuit, we enter into a relationship with them. However, we don't experience the feeling of being in love because we genuinely think that the other person is like a fool. The other person, on the other hand, may be unaware of this or may have never realized it. In this case, the quality of the relationship itself is not high. If the other person is truly committed, how could they not notice that we see them as a fool? Therefore, I personally don't think it's a matter of being incapable of love but rather a matter of not having encountered the right person yet. We have yet to come across someone who can see through our facade, understand our thoughts and desires, and have a deep connection with the depths of our souls. If one day you happen to meet someone like that, then I believe that diving into the feelings and whirlwind of love is not far away for you. At that time, you may cherish such a fate even more. Good luck, and feel free to reach out if you have any questions or would like to consult or exchange thoughts.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, it's not your fault that your partner can't give you a sense of security. Hold hands tightly, lean on each other's shoulders. The other person always depends on you, but you can't depend on them. (This expression of love is indeed unnecessary, and you hate this boring form) You have always been fulfilling the needs of the other person, while the other person cannot fulfill yours. You \"intentionally\" act cute and lovable, wanting to win affection, and you have indeed succeeded. You call these actions \"strategies\", but if someone treated me this way, I would only understand it as the other person trying their best to make me happy. After all, this kind of effort requires a lot of energy, and you don't need to do that. Therefore, it can be seen that you still have a strong desire to receive love. After all, you keep trying to find it through relationships, but no one can satisfy you. In my eyes, you are someone who is always giving to the other person and making them happy. Why do I understand it this way? Because you don't have any intention to deliberately harm the other person. So, it can only be said that you are satisfying the other person. You are very clever, but also very lonely - in your spiritual world. I hope you can find someone who understands you and genuinely cares about you. They will understand your thoughts and easily see through you. And you, reluctantly, can only be \"yourself\". That day will come. Have a pleasant day.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You might be a perfectionist, pursuing perfection. You tend to pay more attention to flaws, criticisms, and illusions, because sometimes I seem to have this habit too. Maybe it's because we are more down-to-earth people who don't like things that are fake. This is a more practical type. Those fake things, romantic things, seem to be like those in fairy tales. They are attainable but not desired, or let's say can be encountered but not wanted. Maybe when we think about problems, we tend to be more comprehensive, considering all aspects, but we are also very quick to notice the shortcomings in things. And often we overlook the advantages, magnify the faults, and become more concerned about these things, which then leads to feelings of dissatisfaction and non-acceptance. I think people like us are more prone to falling into the trap of focusing on the negatives. We should widen our perspective and not overlook other people's strengths. We should consider things from all angles, which would be better.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "After reading your confession thoroughly, I deeply understand your pain. I'm sending you a sun and hoping that you have warm sunshine accompanying you in every winter. Here is my analysis: 1. What is right? Whatever makes you feel happy is right. Anything that goes against the principle of happiness is wrong. So, is your way of love making you happy or causing you pain? If you feel happy, then continue doing it. If you feel pain, then change it. If you don't change it, then accept this pain. That's how it should be. 2. Weak people please others, strong people please themselves. You are able to manage men, which means you are outstanding. Letting men take advantage of you and constantly trying to please them is actually a sign of weakness. So, there's no problem with what you're doing. It just shows that you are a strong person. 3. When you truly accept everything, your pain disappears. Only when you accept your inability to love, do you have the ability to change it. All psychological problems in the world stem from non-acceptance and non-permission. In other words, when you accept and permit, the pain dissipates. Thank you for your question. May all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "There is a feeling that you are playing a dating game. Through the game, you can understand some emotional exchanges between people and experience being loved, being relied upon, and being cared for. You can also pretend to love, to be attached, and to date. When children play games, it is only in kindergarten, and as they grow older, they will enter into emotional relationships with their peers. Perhaps you are growing up, and only when you show sincerity, will your relationship have a result, a result that satisfies you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 16952
 },
 {
  "question": "What should be done when there is a communication breakdown between husband and wife, leading to an endless cycle of arguments?",
  "description": "The couple's feelings are becoming increasingly faded, and they are unable to communicate. The man feels that working is hard, while the woman thinks staying at home taking care of the children is not difficult and quite leisurely. Due to her recent poor health, she quit her job a month ago. The man always thinks the woman is wasteful with money and believes that staying at home taking care of the children is unproductive. Although we haven't argued, he frequently makes such comments that disgust me, so I end up arguing with him. When we argue, he threatens to divorce and resorts to violence. We are currently separated and he claims that he no longer has any feelings for me. The only reason we were living together was for the sake of the children, but now I don't want to continue living this way. It feels like he looks down on me for not working and is unwilling to provide enough money for living expenses. Now that we have quarreled, he refuses to give me any financial support. He has external debts related to buying a house, and he wants to repay them as soon as possible within a year, so he doesn't want to give me much money.",
  "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my response can help you. Most of the emotional conflicts in marriage stem from a lack of understanding between both parties. Men often think that women have an easy time taking care of children at home, while they believe that earning money outside is difficult. In reality, men cannot comprehend the hardships of women who take care of children, do housework, cook, do laundry, and so on. If a man seriously claims that taking care of children at home is not difficult, then both parties can switch roles and try it out. In this situation, both parties should reflect on themselves first, rather than continuously complain about the faults of the other. The reason why your husband perceives you as idle at home is primarily due to him being the sole breadwinner. The major factor causing the disharmony and arguments between you is the lack of money. It is often said that poverty is a stumbling block for couples. You can make use of your spare time to do online part-time jobs or explore your own talents, such as creating your own social media account to provide more valuable content and help more people. These things can help alleviate the financial difficulties. Of course, it is partly your husband's fault for not giving you any living expenses. Since you both are doing it for the sake of the child, you should have a serious discussion about child support. If your husband truly refuses to provide living expenses, you can seek a legal solution. I hope this helps you!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you warm hugs~ The main conflict between you and your husband lies in his inability to understand the hardships of raising a child. He always thinks that you don't have a job and are wasting money. These prejudices and the trivialities of life gradually erode your relationship. Taking care of a child is a very difficult job, and it is harder than any other job to take care of and educate a child. You have made a huge sacrifice by giving up your job and staying at home to take care of the child for this family. But instead of understanding your sacrifices, your husband looks down on you for staying at home and even hesitates to provide enough money for the household expenses. You have suffered a great deal in this family, and I really feel sorry for you. Since he can't understand you, let him experience your feelings. You can exchange roles with him, let him take care of the child at home for a while, and you can go out to work. Let him experience this feeling. Moreover, from his behavior and words, it seems that he believes he only needs to earn money and doesn't need to take responsibility for the family. He thinks that raising children and taking care of the family are solely your responsibility, which is extremely irresponsible. If, even after your efforts, he still cannot understand you and there is no change, you may need to seriously consider whether this marriage is necessary. Best wishes~",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15264
 },
 {
  "question": "Lazy, greedy, and stay-at-home all the time with low self-esteem and procrastination syndrome. How can a person like me change?",
  "description": "I have become so lazy that I have lost interest in life. I'm too lazy to eat, too lazy to get out of bed, too lazy to socialize. I used to have passions, but now I don't like anything anymore. I used to love eating, and maybe I've spent my entire month's salary on food. But now, I'm even too lazy to eat. I feel like one day, if I feel too lazy to live, I'll just let myself die. Insecurities and anxieties are deeply ingrained in me, making me afraid of social interactions and any kind of change. I would rather rot away than try to change. But now, I want to change. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-improvement, meaning of life.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello questioner! Youth knows no boundaries, and success comes from hard work. In your question, you mentioned that you tend to be lazy, love to eat, and are unwilling to socialize. We should find targeted solutions for these issues. First, I think you should seek more interests and hobbies and constantly cultivate your talents. You can amplify them and use them as a way to improve your skills, allowing you to have more common topics to communicate with others. For example, painting, singing, dancing, or playing the piano\u2014every hobby is a result of your dedication, so you will definitely invest time to practice sincerely, and this way, you will gain more applause from others. Secondly, you should take a dialectical approach to the problem. Liking to eat is not a flaw. In the recent TV drama \"At Twenty,\" the character Da Bao loves to eat, but she appears very lovable to others. So you shouldn't blindly deny yourself. Change your perspective. Since you enjoy eating, you can try to explore different recipes. In doing so, you will also find more happiness. Lastly, socializing is actually quite simple. When communicating with others, you should put in genuine effort, attentively listen to others' feelings and thoughts, and bravely express your own opinions. In your daily life, you can develop your courage and constantly increase your confidence. In fact, being able to recognize your own deficiencies is already half the battle won. As long as you take them seriously, constantly transform yourself, enhance your abilities, exercise your body, and give your life a reasonable plan, whether it's in the grand scheme of your life or in the smallest details of each day, your life will become more fulfilling. So keep it up! You can definitely dominate your own world!!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Seeing that the original poster can have such a clear understanding of themselves and seek help on how to make changes, it is truly encouraging. Regarding how to make changes, I think the original poster can combine their own experiences and interests. [1] Based on experiences: For example, if the original poster used to have an addictive eating habit and sometimes doesn't want to eat at all, they can try to control their diet appropriately and plan their meals; if their salary is spent quickly due to impulsive spending, they can try to budget and track their expenses, there are many apps available now for this purpose, very convenient, the original poster can give it a try; if they have a fear of socializing, they can try to step out of their house each day and start by having a few conversations with strangers, gradually making changes. [2] Based on interests and hobbies: The original poster can also consider what interests and hobbies they have, and find friends to engage in activities together, whether it's local or online. Having friends to encourage and hold oneself accountable can lead to better results. If there are no interests or hobbies at the moment, it's okay, they can slowly explore and try new things, and eventually discover something they really enjoy and are passionate about. The original poster can also try making plans for themselves and use my suggestions as references. Change is slow and difficult, but I believe as long as there is a willingness to change, the original poster will definitely succeed! Keep it up.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, as long as you are willing to change, it's never too late. No matter how lazy, greedy, insecure, or weak you were in the past, that is already in the past. No need to regret or blame yourself, just focus on moving forward. Your laziness and greed in the past don't define who you are as a person. I believe that you might have used eating and laziness as a way to create a safe little world for yourself, to feel secure and to alleviate fear and anxiety. But if you are willing to actively change yourself and overcome feelings of fear, insecurity, and weakness in a more positive and healthy way, you won't need these self-protective mechanisms anymore, and naturally, you can change these issues. Change may not be easy, but that's okay. With persistence and time, even a drop of water can wear away a stone. During the process of change, it may not always be smooth sailing. Sometimes, you may find it hard to resist being lazy or indulging in food. Even so, don't blame yourself. Self-blame only makes you feel worse and doesn't help with your transformation. It's alright if you occasionally fall short, aim to do better next time. Give yourself time, be patient, and change gradually. I believe you can become a better version of yourself. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 14744
 },
 {
  "question": "A person feels very depressed, lost, and wants to cry while being abroad.",
  "description": "I have been overseas for about a month now, and for the past ten days or so, I have been feeling particularly oppressed and despairing. I have the urge to cry, and it feels like there is a heavy stone weighing on my chest. I also have trouble sleeping at night and can't talk to my family without bursting into tears. I don't know if this is a mental issue or not.",
  "keywords": "Emotion, depressive mood, anxious mood, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your question. It's normal for many people to feel uncomfortable when suddenly leaving one environment and entering another. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you feel like crying, just let it out. Let's use an analogy: when a child is born from the womb, they usually cry, right? It's because they have left their original environment, which represents a certain level of protection. However, leaving the original environment also means starting a new life in a new environment. This is a process of growth and a very interesting journey. Let's see it as the beginning of an interesting journey, okay? Experience your own joys and sorrows, and do what you think and want to do. Actually, when we are no longer protected by others and their expectations, we often discover our true selves and allow this true self to gradually grow. Take some time to reflect. Although you may cry a lot, will you start to think about things that you didn't pay much attention to before or didn't think about? Actually, these questions are often very important in a person's life. So learn to embrace yourself. Believe in yourself and face difficulties, and you will surely grow. Have confidence in yourself because you can do it. This is also a process of settling down and making your life more meaningful. The thickness of life often determines how far a person can go. Having worldly experiences does not just mean visiting many places, meeting many people, etc. When a person always thinks and views others and their relationships with the same mindset, without much change over the years or only making superficial changes, then they have only seen a lot but haven't truly understood. Without growth, there can be no sublimation. I believe you are not such a person because we all know that to grow and sublimate, it is important to experience setbacks and even pain. In smooth sailing, it is difficult to cultivate oneself. Therefore, you see, there is never a completely smooth thing in this world. You are now beginning to experience real life. Congratulations, it will also be an important lesson for you to face real life and deal with real-life problems. It marks the beginning of your journey to learn how to control your own life. All of this has to be accumulated through your own practice in real life. I believe you will handle it well. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 2430
 },
 {
  "question": "I'm afraid of not being able to find a reliable counselor. I am under a lot of stress and experiencing anxiety and depression. What should I do?",
  "description": "I didn't find a counselor and I'm still hesitant and wavering. This week, I will make an appointment with one, and next week I will make an appointment with someone more professional than her. I will try them both. At this moment, the teachers on the online mental health platform are either beginners or their services are public welfare-oriented. I'm especially concerned about the quality. I have so many things I want to analyze and tell the counselor, but I only have two weeks left. I haven't even confirmed a counselor yet. I feel like throwing up and staying up late every day. I wake up feeling anxious. I dream about going to a new environment alone, feeling conflicted and torn inside. I really want to find a professional teacher to work with me, but it costs 100 per session. What should I do? Please don't scold or blame me. I'm scared of switching again, there are just too many options on the website. Trying a new one every week, but I have to go back to school next week. I'm getting back to my old state. What should I do? How can I relax myself? What should I do? If I can't find a counselor, what should I do if the quality of the teachers on that platform is not good? And they are too expensive. What should I do? Should I try again? I feel like throwing up.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, title holder. Although I don't know the specific problem that is troubling you, through your words, I can sense your current anxious and unsettled mood and your turbulent thoughts. It seems like you really want to find a professional and powerful counselor to provide you with enough psychological support when facing these troubles. Indeed, the platform you have provided us with is convenient, but it is not easy to find a counselor who suits you. In the counseling process, besides the professionalism of the counselor, what we emphasize is actually the compatibility between the counselor and the visitor. Instead of focusing on their strong professional skills, finding a counselor with whom you can communicate comfortably and easily and maintaining a stable long-term working relationship with them can bring you more benefits. It seems like you are still a student in college. If conditions permit, I still suggest that you go to the counseling center at your university. The level of university's counseling teachers is relatively more guaranteed, and face-to-face counseling may be more suitable for your current anxious and unsettled state of mind. If you are a little afraid of face-to-face counseling, then encourage yourself. Being able to step into the counseling room is a very brave step, and it is an opportunity for us to start making changes. Keep it up! I wish you a happier learning life.",
    "has_label": true,
    "labels_sequence": [
     {
      "start": 0,
      "end": 54,
      "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
     },
     {
      "start": 54,
      "end": 175,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 175,
      "end": 225,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 225,
      "end": 265,
      "type": "Direct Guidance"
     },
     {
      "start": 265,
      "end": 377,
      "type": "Interpretation"
     },
     {
      "start": 377,
      "end": 392,
      "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
     }
    ]
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 10388
 },
 {
  "question": "Does this boy like me? Do I like him?",
  "description": "I often chat with a guy. I say the wrong things, make mistakes, and he gets angry. But when I apologize, he forgives me quickly. When the weather gets cold and I dress lightly, he calls me foolish and tells me to prioritize manners over comfort. I mentioned my ideal type, and he got angry and ignored me. He said he joined a group mostly made up of girls, and I felt uncomfortable. Does he like me? Do I like him?",
  "keywords": "Romance, affection",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. From your words, I sense confusion and also a sense of anticipation and joy. Maybe you are currently struggling with your relationship with the other person, or maybe you are enjoying this relationship. Regardless, I wish you all the best in achieving your desires. Sending you a hug. You said: I often chat with a guy. When I say the wrong thing or do something wrong, he gets angry, but he forgives me quickly when I apologize. It's getting cold, and I'm not dressed warmly. He scolds me and tells me to prioritize style over comfort. I told him when I saw my ideal type, he gets angry and ignores me. He said he joined a group mostly of girls, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. So have you ever thought about why you often chat with the other person? How do you feel when you chat? Why do you apologize to the other person when you do something wrong? How do you feel when the other person ignores you when you mention seeing your ideal type? And why did you bring up this topic with the other person? Why do you feel uncomfortable when the other person says they joined a group mostly of girls? What do you want? Maybe after thinking about these questions, you'll know whether you like the other person or not. I hope this can help you. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 4106
 },
 {
  "question": "\"The need for affirmation and self-acceptance is a matter of relying on external support. What feels wrong?\"",
  "description": "I am introverted and shy since childhood, always preferring to hide my existence. I used to create a circle of objects at home and feel comfortable staying inside it. As I grew up, I became more restricted, feeling the need for various conditions to be satisfied before I can freely do something. I struggle to let go, and my introverted nature has caused discontent and mockeries from my parents and relatives. Feeling rejected by my family, I feel deeply hurt, and when my emotions reach their peak, I secretly shed tears. Even after starting work, I still can't let go. I know myself well, my personality flaws, and how others probably perceive me as being difficult. I feel insecure in both my personal life and work because I have a pessimistic outlook on life. It seems like I have never had any motivation or self-confidence. I constantly yearn for others' approval, as if I am nothing, and yet there's a sliver of hope that they recognize the struggles I've endured for over twenty years. It's strange, but I can't even acknowledge my own existence. I firmly believe that if others don't think highly of you or like you, how could you be considered a decent person? I feel disconnected from people, lacking intimate connections, and only passing by, even with my relatives. No one will ever see me, and I can't see myself either. How can I break free from others' perspectives and find the motivation to live for myself? It's too difficult, and I can't think of a way.",
  "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, venting and listening.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, stranger. I won't hide it from you, I have had similar thoughts and have done the same thing before. Let's not rush to reject our past beliefs. At least in my opinion, some of my current views exist in my adolescence. My belief is that when others are most vulnerable or sensitive, the person who emerges is definitely me. As a result, my relationship with others is very good (assuming they can discover or expose that period of time). So my interpersonal relationships are good. But when you enter a new environment, you only need to leave them with a good impression, such as giving them a positive or enthusiastic impression. This is the first step. At this time, you need to bravely step out of your comfort zone. The best thing is to have some value to others. For example, you can show your broad vision and let others talk to you about high-quality topics. These can be learned gradually, but please believe me, your interpersonal relationships will definitely improve. As for what you mentioned about family or relatives, that can also be gradually improved. Like me, I am also someone who lacks motivation, probably because I think too much. I have pondered the nature of the universe and the meaning of human existence. I have thought about too many things, but the conclusion I have reached is that under the constant erosion of time, everything will return to zero. So you can be bolder, make yourself happy, pursue a girl you like, and then you will have motivation. Remember, you are not alone.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 2416
 },
 {
  "question": "A 35-year-old woman is feeling emotionally down, lacking motivation at work, and overwhelmed by trivial matters.",
  "description": "Sometimes I'm in a good mood, feeling normal, and thinking that everything in my life is wonderful. Other times, I feel low and don't want to say a word. I just want to lie in bed, staring at my phone, doing nothing and not even wanting to talk. Recently, for a quite long period, I've noticed a decrease in my attention and sensitivity. Sometimes I tend to procrastinate at work and end up doing things at the very last minute. Sometimes, I feel that the people around me are not good, my husband has bad habits, he loves playing video games, and my child is greedy and doesn\u2019t pay attention to their body shape. My mother loves to nag, and my father is stubborn. I have to pick up and drop off my child four times a day, and I often feel like I haven't done anything, yet I have to go and pick them up again and cook for them. It's an endless cycle of trivial matters. (Female, 35 years old)",
  "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace relationships, work exhaustion.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You don't feel like doing anything and your work efficiency has decreased. You also tend to pay too much attention to the negative aspects of people and things around you in life. You can feel the discomfort in your heart in this state. Hugs to you~ ## You said that sometimes you feel low, and sometimes you're in a good mood. Can you try to think about the positive aspects of the people around you when you're in a good mood? What are the interesting and beautiful things in life? Try to list these beautiful people and things one by one. When you feel down, take it out and have a look. It will help you. The above is my suggestion, hope it can help you. Take care!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 18838
 },
 {
  "question": "It is difficult to find part-time jobs while studying, and it makes me feel very upset. What should I do?",
  "description": "I want to work part-time while studying, but it's really difficult to find online jobs. But I really want to make money. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Occupation, work pressure",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, may I know how old you are and why you want to work while studying? Are you trying to lighten the burden on your family? If you haven't gone to college yet, studying well can help you save money or even earn some. Once you're in college, there are scholarships and financial aid available. Online jobs can be a bit risky since there is a lot of information mixed together. It would be better to find offline jobs, such as being a teaching assistant, waiter/waitress, or cashier in tutoring centers. These types of jobs are easier to find in real life, and I know people around me who have done that. Step out of your comfort zone and give it a try. However, there is only a little bit of summer vacation left, so it might be difficult to find a job now. If it's not too urgent, you can develop your hobbies and interests and showcase them on various online platforms. Maybe that will lead you to a part-time opportunity.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 13416
 },
 {
  "question": "There has always been an inherent lack of confidence, often sitting in front of the computer unable to come up with anything.",
  "description": "I now work but still have a hidden lack of confidence, feeling that I am not doing well and find it difficult to submit my work on time. As a result, I keep procrastinating and the quality of my work suffers. As a newcomer, it is already difficult to perform well, and I have gained a reputation for being slow. My attention is constantly scattered, I start doing one thing and then start thinking about something else. It is difficult for me to focus and I work without a clear plan, resulting in confusion. I often get stuck and sit in front of the computer unable to come up with ideas.",
  "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, phone dependency, messiness",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "For newcomers, you can try to cultivate some habits: 1) When assigned a task, ask for the deadline so that you can prioritize your work within the given timeframe. 2) List down the tasks you need to do. As the saying goes, \"the faintest ink is better than the best memory.\" This is especially important for newcomers. Even if you do most things well, neglecting one thing can still leave a bad impression. Therefore, it is necessary to write down your tasks. Now, let's talk about work matters: 1) It's normal for newcomers to feel insecure or unsure about what they are doing. If you're unsure, you can ask your mentor, colleagues, or even your supervisor for confirmation. It's alright to correct mistakes promptly. After all, everyone has gone through this process. 2) Being easily distracted, switching from one task to another, is a sign of lack of planning. If you continue like this, you'll find that your work is scattered and disjointed every day. Therefore, it's necessary to write down your tasks and allocate time properly. Of course, no matter how well you plan, unexpected changes can happen. So, allow yourself to do your best and avoid being too hard on yourself.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Self-confidence is not something that can be cultivated overnight, so we can start with small things. 1. Don't be afraid of making mistakes. Many times we think that making mistakes is not allowed, but no one can guarantee that they will not make mistakes, so we should try to avoid some basic errors, such as those caused by carelessness. We should try to avoid these types of mistakes. If it is because of our own lack of ability, then what we need to do is how to improve our ability. The first two years in the workplace are the period of our fastest growth, so during this time, we should not be afraid of making mistakes and avoid basic errors. We should actively seek advice from our seniors. If we keep postponing things because we are worried about not doing well, it is likely to affect other people's work and leave a bad impression on our superiors. No matter what we do, as long as we try our best, the final result will not be too bad. 2. Finish the tasks at hand first. Distracted attention is indeed a problem, especially when we are doing one thing, but we are also thinking about another thing. The final result may be that nothing is done well. Therefore, we can list the things that need to be done each day in a plan, classify them according to their importance, and complete the important tasks first. Then go on to the less important tasks. For unimportant matters, they can be put at the end. Before completing a task, do not have too many worries. When it is necessary to seek external help, we must actively seek it. Have a little more confidence in ourselves, set some short-term goals for ourselves, and gradually achieve them. In the process of completion, we need to learn to affirm ourselves. We are not as bad as we imagine. The world and I love you.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP: We always worry that we haven't done well enough, but the truth is that nothing can ever be perfect. It's not about what's lacking here or there. Perhaps as long as we complete the most important part of something, it's enough. Completion is what matters most. When you are unable to complete something on time, besides the original worries, if you can finish the task promptly, at most, it will just be considered as not done perfectly. Ultimately, what we want to avoid will still catch up with us. Right now, your focus is on avoidance, just like when driving, we need to look at where we are going, not at the places we don't want to go.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21251
 },
 {
  "question": "I always have an uncontrollable desire to eat, I'm afraid I might eat myself to death.",
  "description": "I always have a hard time controlling my desire to eat, and I always eat to the point of being stuffed. When I encounter problems, I instinctively look for food to eat. All I think about every day is eating, as if the only thing I do besides eating is thinking about eating or searching for food. Sometimes I can restrain myself, but the next time it will erupt on a larger scale. What should I do?",
  "keywords": "Behavior, binge eating and dieting.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that: 1. OP always thinks about eating, even when there is nothing to eat. 2. Although OP subjectively knows that this is not right, they cannot control themselves. [A little analysis and advice]: 1. Is OP's need for food due to a desire to have something in their mouth or a need to fill their stomach? If it is the former, OP can choose some long-lasting food options to temporarily control their intake, such as chewing gum or lollipops that can be held for a long time. 2. Determine the specific reasons behind these circumstances. If they seriously affect OP's personal learning and life, it is recommended to seek help from a professional mental health counselor. Unusual problems always have underlying causes, which may be long-term. It might be related to some kind of stress or unexpected event. By talking to a counselor and understanding the situation, OP will find more detailed reasons and more suitable methods to address this problem. Hope this is helpful for OP.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, may I ask if there is anything recently that has made you anxious? If so, it is possible that this thing has triggered your anxiety. Your body needs a lot of energy intake to relieve anxiety. I suggest you exercise to stimulate dopamine production in your body and relieve anxiety. If you still cannot control it, you can seek help from a professional psychological counselor. Best wishes!",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 17225
 },
 {
  "question": "I have always felt insecure and prefer to stay silent and be alone, but there are various preachings around me.",
  "description": "I have always felt insecure, dislike socializing, and do not enjoy talking. I prefer being alone, but there is always a lot of lecturing around me, even at home. I want to be by myself, but many people say that I am not smooth enough, and not liking to talk has turned into looking down on others. I want to know if a person can change their nature in order to please others. I feel very powerless and slowly realize that sometimes I am particularly withdrawn. I always want to lock myself in a place, be alone, not hear any sounds, and just want to be quiet.",
  "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-growth.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Everyone's emotions need an outlet, either outward or inward. If our inner self can be in harmony and not affect anyone in any way, then it's fine. But sometimes we may mistake our true nature and comfort as just a shell for escapism. From your description, I can sense that you feel pain and conflict because of your insecurity and preference for solitude, and you receive criticism and blame from the people around you. On one hand, you want to live each day in a way that feels comfortable to you, but on the other hand, the people around you put a lot of mental pressure on you and can't understand you. Maybe you need to seriously analyze the problem. Do you really enjoy being alone? Or have you just become accustomed to it? Do you feel lost and anxious in interpersonal relationships? Does the fear of social interaction stem from your insecurity? Or is it because of long periods of solitude and isolating yourself that you've become even more insecure? If being alone brings you peace and contentment, without interference from external people and environments, would you continue to choose solitude? If the answer is yes, you can honestly express your thoughts to the people around you, telling them that you don't look down on others or have an arrogant attitude, but being alone allows you to feel more comfortable and experience personal growth, while their forced social behaviors cause you stress and anxiety. They may understand your feelings. However, if you only prefer solitude out of desperation, or if you isolate yourself and use the excuse of enjoying solitude to avoid awkwardness and embarrassment in social interactions due to a lack of social skills, then you need to change. You can't continue to avoid the issue. In summary, everyone has their own unique style of relating to themselves, others, and the world. If there is a certain way that genuinely satisfies and brings you joy, then strive to pursue it. But if it's just a self-deceptive excuse or a weak fa\u00e7ade, you must face the problem sooner rather than later. Best wishes.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "It's quite normal to encounter such problems. However, besides these annoying remarks, your life should also have a happy tone. Make a few good friends and read more books. If it were me, I would also focus on my studies. Because I believe that only when I achieve success, I will have the qualifications to be valued by others (elderly people who like to lecture). But I don't know if this contradicts your true feelings. So, you should first go out and engage in things that make you happy.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 15684
 },
 {
  "question": "A 13-year-old girl has been feeling suicidal in the past two years. What should I do?",
  "description": "I don't know how to say it, but I just want to say that I want to die but I dare not. I really don't know what to do. I like staying up late until three or four o'clock. I don't know what else I can do. I don't know how to do anything. I have a bad temper.",
  "keywords": "Emotions, depressive feelings, fragile and tearful.",
  "answers": [
   {
    "answer_text": "Hello child, from your description, it seems that you have fallen into a state of self-doubt and confusion, feeling like you don't know anything and unsure of what you can do. I think that each of us, at certain stages or times in life, will have moments like this. Perhaps even those who seem very accomplished in your eyes also experience moments of self-doubt and self-denial. But it's okay, we are not always like this. When we make an effort to do things, and when we succeed in certain things, we realize that we are not as bad as we imagine ourselves to be. So don't be afraid, know that your current state is only temporary, and one day you will be able to see more of your strengths and abilities, and recognize your own value and significance. It's okay to not know what you can do right now, take your time to explore and keep trying, it's okay to make mistakes, with more trials you will find clarity. Paths are not thought out, they are walked. You don't need to have all the answers figured out before you can do things, focus on doing what you can do well in the present moment, as you do, everything will gradually become clear. Don't rush, don't feel the need to know the answers immediately. You're thirteen years old now, most likely a middle school student, right? Your current task should be learning, leave aside the questions that you can't figure out, and immerse yourself in your studies. Give yourself some time to grow slowly, and gradually understand some of life's questions. \"Live in the present, do what you should do.\" If possible, try to maintain a good sleep schedule, go to bed and wake up early, so that you have abundant energy. When your mental state is good, it often brings a good mood. You've been having suicidal thoughts for two years, is that right? I suggest it would be best to talk to your parents about it, go see a psychologist or a therapist, they can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   },
   {
    "answer_text": "You must cherish the right to be alive. I don't know what happened to you, but I hope that you continue to live well because there are still many good times ahead for you. You have unfinished tasks, and living on is hope, it's a new beginning. If possible, you can confide in me about what happened. It always feels better to talk it out.",
    "has_label": false,
    "labels_sequence": null
   }
  ],
  "questionID": 21028
 }
]