diff --git "a/valid_translated.json" "b/valid_translated.json" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/valid_translated.json" @@ -0,0 +1,6148 @@ +[ + { + "question": "I'm pregnant out of wedlock and I don't know if I should have this baby.", + "description": "I am now pregnant, currently in the cohabitation state, the man has enough ability to raise the baby, but since we know that there is a baby after we basically fight every day, his attitude is that, for the time being, do not get a marriage license, because he is doing business with the risk that he will buy a house in my name, he is afraid to do business again like this year's epidemic so that, if there is a problem if I can live a normal life, but if I want to get a license he can go to get it, just let me think clearly. Just let me think clearly, he said he will bear the cost of raising children in the future, but I hope that he and I economic independence, that is, I do not interfere with his finances, I want to what he will give me to buy, so I have a great sense of insecurity, he said that the days can not go on depending on me, but I feel that he is forcing me to be hysterical time and time again.", + "keywords": "Marriage, premarital", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi owner, get clear on what you want in a relationship and what you are able to give, make firm and courageous choices, care about yourself and love yourself. From your description, I can feel your worries and concerns about your current state. Have you asked yourself what is really going on inside you? The other party's attitude and what he can do, has been laid out in full, for the time being do not get a license, will buy a house, if licensed, he will raise the baby and buy things for you, but hope that you and he are financially independent, do not interfere with his finances. What are your thoughts on these two options? The first one, may be with the pressure of unmarried first pregnancy, if you want to give birth to the child, the hard work behind may be a lot; if you want to abort, may be the other person, you will not want this person again. The second, which sounds very reasonable, is that financial freedom for each other will also relatively give each other spiritual freedom to figure out whether you are marrying someone who knows each other well or marrying a rice bowl. Most of your description is the other person's thoughts, you need to calm down and analyze, do you want to keep the child yourself? What problems will you encounter? What kind of needs do you have for the relationship, spiritual needs or material security is important? Are you ready to enter into marriage or become a mom? There may be some risks and costs in either way, is the other person worth it? And so on. Go at your own pace, what you want for your partner, your children, your marriage, your material life, your spiritual life, etc. is up to you. Once you have sorted out what you want, you can have an open and deep conversation with the other person about how to deal with the issues and choices you are facing. You think the other person is pushing you to break down, but you can't choose to keep running away, you need to have your own opinion and the courage to take responsibility for yourself. If you have someone you can trust, talk to them, maybe their thoughts will give you some direction and courage. Relationships, marriages, children, partners, life, all these people and things will not always have only positive and happy sides, but also negative and painful sides. You may be worried about encountering a lot of difficulties and dilemmas, afraid that you can't handle it, but you will also grow with time, and those things will eventually be solved by you and the ones who love you. No one can force you to make choices or choose for you, you are at the helm of your own life when you think deeply about it. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16074 + }, + { + "question": "Are highly sensitive people who are easily involved and influenced by negative events suitable for counseling?", + "description": "Highly sensitive personalities are easily drawn into negative events and are affected by the negative emotions of visitors, which in turn affects their own life situation. Although highly sensitive people are easy to empathize with, isn't this easily influenced characteristic less suitable for a counselor? Otherwise, might one need to slow down for days to do a counseling by oneself? Putting aside the basics and techniques for the moment, purely in terms of personality, what kind of personality traits are more suitable for a counselor?", + "keywords": "Therapy, counseling", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello Owner: Actually, any personality has its strengths and weaknesses. Highly sensitive people are usually able to process both positive and negative information from the outside world in a more complete and detailed way, but they are also often easily affected by these external stimuli and become overwhelmed.1. Highly sensitive people have more accurate judgmentOften, in life, highly sensitive people feel that no one can understand them because most people will think that highly sensitive people are too pretentious. Highly sensitive people are thoughtful, emotionally delicate, and observe things more deeply than others, so their judgment of things has a higher accuracy. In terms of information collection, data research and plot deduction, highly sensitive people have an inherent advantage. Highly sensitive people have a nervous system that is superior to that of normal people, and they can accept more external information than normal people. At the same time, highly sensitive people have higher accuracy in data research and judgment. Highly sensitive people are imaginative and have an advantage in plotting. They are able to summarize data in their minds and deduce what is going to happen. In the counseling process, the counselor is required to be good at pulling out all the information given by the visitor to find out the factors affecting the mental health of the visitor, so as to find the right solution. It can be said that the judgment of highly sensitive people can help them find the key to the problem better.2. Highly sensitive people have high emotional awareness Highly sensitive people are more able to detect their own internal emotional state than ordinary people. In the face of pain, sadness, and some physiological reactions, highly sensitive people usually have more obvious emotional reactions, so they are also more able to feel and recognize their own emotions, and it is also easier to empathize with the visitors. Of course, any personality has strengths and weaknesses. As the owner said, people with highly sensitive personalities can easily be drawn into negative events and be affected by the negative emotions of their visitors, which in turn affects their own state of life. So, how to adjust this state?1. Protect their inner human beings are temperamental animals, by the environment and emotional sway is a very normal performance, in the receipt of external atmosphere infection at the same time, calmly analyze, try to feel the positive forces, in the empathy at the same time do not ignore the personal sense of well-being.2. Sieve filtering information can be sensitive, but not obsessive. To the things around you to maintain a high degree of sensitivity, but do not allow them to completely dominate their hearts, so that they are not moving forward. \"People live, they should learn how to make themselves happy and joyful, that's the lifelong thing.\" 3. find ways to reduce stress Highly sensitive people can properly distract themselves when they realize they are affected by bad emotions. Relaxation, meditation, traveling, and fitness are all good ways to reduce stress. I once read a quote for highly sensitive people: some people see the world through a filter: under the effect of this filter, they see the world with higher contrast and higher saturation. So they have been feeling the world in a more vivid and intense way. This profound pain and beauty that comes with personality is very often not chosen by us. But some times, intense pain can also lead us to deep joy, and more ugliness can lead us to see more beauty. So at least we see a lot of things that other people don't see, and life has no regrets, doesn't it? Finally, I would like to tell my highly sensitive friends that if you like this career, don't give it up because of your personality. The profession of psychological counseling will bring more advantages and disadvantages to highly sensitive people than other people. However, as long as there is a way to adjust their own emotions, so that they are not affected by negative emotions, then it is not the same as a good fight for their dreams? Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, warm hugs to you~ Indeed, as you said, a highly sensitive person has its advantages and disadvantages, it may be easier to empathize with the visitor, but it may also affect you because of the visitor's emotions, so that you can get involved in such emotions, and it is more difficult to self-regulate. Perhaps one should try to learn how to detach oneself more easily from the emotions of others. Counseling requires being more rational, patient, and constantly learning. It may be easier for a novice counselor to get involved in the visitor's emotions, but it is possible to make yourself more independent by seeking the help of a supervisor. For the visitor, what he may need more is some help from the counselor, as well as empathy and support. So the counselor himself has a sense of closeness and friendliness that can make the visitor feel better and safe. Good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "There really is no standard for what kind of person is suitable to be a counselor, and the two previous teachers have already said a lot. The most important thing for a counselor is self-awareness and introspection. Going through a growth analysis yourself as a visitor allows the highly sensitive part of yourself to affect yourself and your work less. When the shadow part of oneself is less and less, the less countertransference and projection will be, and the less the part of oneself that is affected by counseling will be.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "First of all the highly sensitive person can be changed, his sensitivity threshold can be adjusted from small to large, of course this takes some time. People who are easily affected by the emotions of their clients should have an experience before doing counseling, and when they have learned to deal with their own emotions, they can use the same method to help their visitors in counseling. Initially, you may need to slow down for a few days, but after experience and building up experience, you may only need to slow down for a few hours, slowly and more quickly.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20519 + }, + { + "question": "What happens when an adolescent boy is fourteen and his parent-child relationship breaks down?", + "description": "I have an adolescent boy who is 14 years old, does not come home, does not want to listen to his parents, does not go to school, he says that it is no fun to stay at home with his parents. He says it's no fun to stay at home with his parents. His father is irritable and his mother is spoiled in his usual upbringing! What should I do?", + "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Growing Up, Child Communication", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi subject, the child's seems to be facing a rebellious period and the parents can't understand the child's behaviors, as a parent, it must be painful to see the child's bent and unheeded behaviors, right? I really sympathize with you. Read the description of your problem, the child is 14 years old, is in puberty, unwilling to return home, showing the idea of not wanting to stay with their parents. At this special time in a child's development, parents need to spend a lot of time and energy to pay attention to their children, and the performance of the rebellious period is indeed very exhausting for parents. I noticed that you mentioned the various behaviors of the couple in your family at present, \"the father is grumpy and the mother is more spoiled in normal parenting\", which may be a problem because in family education, the couple needs to unify their ways and attitudes towards the child, otherwise the child may feel confused and not know who to listen to. Perhaps the child is accustomed to your way of education, when the father questioned him about the mistakes he made or when he was angry, perhaps the mother would step in to help him and speak on his behalf, so that very often he did not need to take responsibility, and so he developed a low responsibility character, and may not attach so much importance to the concept of family, and so there is a situation of not coming home. Maybe you can discuss with your other half to improve the education, the mother should not spoil the child too much, and the father should show a little more concern for the child, at the same time, when the other party is educating the child, the other party should not question the child face to face, which may destroy the effect of the education of the child.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1666 + }, + { + "question": "What's the least painful way to kill yourself?", + "description": "The last three months of online classes have not been taken, I want to kill myself, I want to die, the school year is about to start, and now not also not not come back, what should I do? I want to die, I want to search, anyone tell me how to die without pain? I've wanted to kill myself for a few years, and now I really can't carry on!", + "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello Subject You have been thinking about suicide for several years, do you remember what happened when you first thought about suicide? In the past few years, did something else happen that made you think of suicide? In fact, you are now three months without Internet classes, this incident is not the root cause of your suicide, may just induce your negative emotions, so that you think of suicide again, is not it? It is recommended to see a psychiatrist, or a counselor, to explore your inner world, and to sort out some of the negative emotions, unfinished events, that you once had. Once the root causes are resolved, the painful emotions can be relieved. There is no painless way to commit suicide. Survival is an instinctive part of life, and no matter what way you do it, you will always have to go through some pain. If you don't believe me, maybe you can go to Zhihu to take a look, there are a lot of topics about suicide on Zhihu, it mentions a lot of ways to commit suicide and lists the pain of each way, I think, maybe after you have read it, you don't have the courage to commit suicide, and you just want to live well. You can also look at other people's stories there, there are some people who will share some of their own stories, share their own feelings, maybe it will also help you. You will see that many people have their own pain, but suicide is certainly not a good solution. We are often stronger than we think, and sometimes we think we can't do it, but then we actually do it and realize that we can. You don't think you can carry it, but I'm sure you can, you don't need to think too far ahead, just think about living that day every day, and before you know it, this tough phase will be over. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18665 + }, + { + "question": "What to do when everyone around you is busy, unloved and unhappy?", + "description": "Everyone around me is busy, and I feel like my parents and boyfriend don't love me, and I don't know how to love myself. Feeling lonely and depressed. Parents and boyfriends are deprived and more demanding and black holes than I am. How can I feel loved, after decades of looking for love and never being happy. My parents and boyfriend probably love me too, they just aren't that good at loving people themselves, or even babies when it comes to love. We always say we can love ourselves, how do we do it", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "A girl who usually seems a bit cold and independent sobbed in front of me. I understood her pain better than she did herself. She approached me with depression brought on by emotional problems, and she could not accept that she had been in such a state for a long time. In fact, she was already carrying a melancholic temperament that even she had not realized. \"Loneliness is common to all, and mine was more intense. It's not that I'm too idle, it's not that I'm empty. Rather, it's that feeling of always isolating the weakest or most vibrant piece of myself that makes me feel lonely in the deepest sense.\" \"When I secretly laugh and cry, the twitching of my body makes me laugh and sad at myself. It's as if I don't quite dare let that very charged emotion come out of nowhere, I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it.\" \"It's Christmas again. Every time this holiday season comes around I'm partially lost. It started when I was in college. When I was in middle school I could give each other Christmas gifts, and in the hustle and bustle of picking up gifts and giving each other gifts I forgot to be alone. And as we grew up, it became difficult to express our feelings. I think giving Christmas fruit is boring, why don't we just buy a few pounds of red Fuji and put it in the fridge. I think Santa Claus is not cute, he only likes happy and lively children. I think this holiday is suitable for couples, like Korean dramas. And those of us who are left behind should not think about it.\" Maybe you feel partially the same way as this girl? We need relationships, and we need intimacy. That baby-like hunger is the truest cry of our hearts. If you're experiencing this kind of relationship difficulty, take a look at these: 1. Don't start if you're always in the mindset that you're not going to get anywhere. You think you can protect yourself well, but you're hurting others and you're being consumed yourself. 2. When you have a problem, talk about it! Speak up! Say it! (Important thing to say three times) There is nothing that can't be solved through communication. However, the good habit of communication should be established at the beginning of the relationship. Don't think you don't say he understands, he is not the worm in your belly. If you learn the right, smooth communication, you will not only listen to the people comfortable, you are also comfortable. 3, some people seem to provoke your desire to protect, some people seem to you especially want to rely on. These are not equal, not healthy enough love. The real healthy love is: independent of each other, the relationship between oneself and oneself is better; give to each other, the way to love oneself also used to love others. Love is giving, not taking. It's not about who takes care of who is like a child, or who cares for who is like a mother.4. Intimacy will allow us to understand each other better. After the hot period of three months, the other side of the shortcomings one by one revealed and magnified, and before the idealized state is the opposite. Many people in love can't get over this hurdle, are too lazy to rub it in and quickly separate. Sometimes is not used to see each other's shortcomings, more is also afraid to get close to go down will see their own shortcomings - this place is your own unnoticed, do not want to see yourself. The philosopher Sartre said that if you feel lonely when you're alone, it means you haven't become very good friends with yourself. Hopefully, you'll become more and more mentally capable of making yourself content! The story comes from my article,. I hope it resonates with you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ from your description of how to love you feel very confused, perhaps there is no role model around you, perhaps you only understand the big love and do not know \"small love\", I said \"small love\" that is, from the small things around the embodiment of love themselves. According to your description, \"everyone around you is very busy, no one love, very unhappy\", now everyone is really busy every day, for the work of the future busy, whether you are the only one stopped to reflect on the time to feel \"high up in the cold\" loneliness, I think that you only understand the big love but do not know \"small love\", I said \"small love\" that is, from the small things around to reflect love themselves. \"I think this is a good start, and perhaps the beginning of a radical change. According to your description, \"We always say we can love ourselves, how can we do it?\", which brings us back to the \"little love\" I mentioned at the beginning. Love yourself can start from small things such as eating three meals a day on time, exercising even when you are busy, and not staying up too late. These small things I mentioned are good for maintaining the body, and are considered from the physical and mental aspects. Because I personally think that having a healthy body can also make us have a better state and mood to face life in a better state, it will make us change our mindset, and many things we can have confidence to solve.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello subject! I'll share how to love yourself, I hope it inspires you.1. Dress yourself up every day and say to yourself, I see you.2. Write three positive things that happened today every day.3. Find something meaningful to do. It could be smiling at 10 people a day, or helping out a coworker, that is, doing what you can to the people around you to help the community do three things first! The principle is like the movie dialogue \"know a lot of truth, still not good in this life\" Why? Why? Because the truth is alive at the level of thinking, and the body is the most honest, we do not like, do not want to do, the body knows. Then our behavior is controlled by our thoughts, so change our evaluation of this matter, or this person, the body will feel differently. So writing three positive things is about changing your thoughts first, from negative to positive. If you don't know how to change, then you can write down the things you find difficult, leave a message to me, and then I will assist you a few times, you will feel it, day by day you will feel a very different view of the people around you, I myself wrote a year, from the black hole to the luminous body process, gained a lot. I hope you too can have a happy life by expanding your mind.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, you said you have been looking for love for decades, have you ever thought about a question, what is love to you? Everyone feels differently about love, some feel that chatting with her is a kind of love, some feel that cooking her a meal is a kind of love, and some feel that understanding her inner world is a kind of love. ......... What is it like to be yourself? Only when you understand what kind of love you want can you know how to ask for it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5036 + }, + { + "question": "What are the consequences of stigma for people with psychological problems?", + "description": "For people with psychological problems, not only do they have to bear the pain brought about by the psychological problems themselves, they also have to bear the additional sense of shame, which is undoubtedly a double burden. There are some people who are seriously depressed or anxious, but because they cannot emotionally accept that they are classified as \"crazy\", they do not recognize their own condition and refuse to seek professional psychological help, which ultimately delays the optimal period of treatment, and they continue to suffer from the pain of the disease over and over again. Therefore, what are the consequences of the sense of shame?", + "keywords": "Therapy, therapies, counseling, trauma therapy", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "From the owner's description, we see that the sense of shame can delay the best time for healing. There is a concept of critical period in psychology, once missed later it will take more time and energy to make up for it. Repeatedly emphasize within: it's not my fault that I'm sick, it's not my fault that I'm sick. It's reminding us that we need to pay attention to caring for ourselves and staying with ourselves in time.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1308 + }, + { + "question": "20 year old boy who always infinitely amplifies the kindness and malice of others towards me?", + "description": "I've felt this way since about middle school. In terms of a person showing kindness/malice towards me, (the fact that someone else is most likely just saying something casually, or doing something small casually) I will infinitely amplify the feelings that that statement (that thing) brings up in me. So, I'll like someone especially easily, and if it's a guy, I can't wait to be best buddies. If it's a girl, I'll like her right away too. Of course, love comes fast and hate comes fast. I'd be cold to a good buddy of a few years because of a small thing, the kind that I completely ignore and don't care about. It's a very bad feeling, so I'll overthink things socially and can easily misinterpret what others are saying. And then I couldn't be good friends with girls either because I couldn't treat them the way I would treat a friend. I'm an adult now, and this symptom has been with me for 7 years now, and I really want to be a normal person with normal emotions and have my own goals to follow ah.", + "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, you mentioned that for the feedback of others you will amplify the feelings, you can see that you are very sensitive to the feedback of others, resulting in emotional distress and interpersonal distress, really hard. From the perspective of classic psychoanalysis in psychology, each of us has a primal instinct, the Ribbito bet, which, in human terms, can be interpreted as a bet of love, emotion, and energy. In our infancy and even in our early years, this \"libido\" emotion will bet on our nurturer, and our nurturer will also bet on us, thus creating a flow of emotions that will help us grow healthier inside. However, sometimes the nurturer may have difficulties with the flow of emotions, and may not respond to the child's emotional calls, so that the child's \"libido\" can only continue to be withdrawn to itself, and over time lacks the ability to stabilize the cycle of emotions, and is prone to produce extreme emotional experiences, \"excellent The child is prone to extreme emotional experiences, \"excellent\" or \"extremely poor\", \"idealized\" or \"degraded\" poles. At the same time, the children themselves because of the lack of feedback from the nurturer, the lack of awareness of their own, after entering the community, for the evaluation of others will feel particularly sensitive, because they do not know where they are good and bad, when others show good or bad evaluation of themselves, will be particularly concerned. So, how to adjust their own \"Libido\" system? 1, cognitive adjustment: the owner is now able to perceive the amplification of their own emotional feelings, is a good opportunity to change, every time when you are aware of, try to do cognitive adjustments - - will be the emotional feelings, cognitive, behavioral, and other factors. -Emotional feelings, cognitive, behavioral divorced from the three: - emotional feelings is the most physical and emotional most intuitive feelings, such as others to give you kindness when you feel the warmth, feel the joy or excitement, feel for each other's goodwill, go to the body to observe these feelings; - cognitive is the brain's ideas, thoughts, when you perceive the body's emotional feelings, to the body to perceive the brain's ideas, thoughts, to the body to perceive the brain's ideas, thoughts, to the body's emotional feelings. What do I think about? For example, I think that the other person may have a good feeling about me, for example, I think that I am great and awesome, etc.; - Behavior is the action we take when we have feelings and thoughts, for example, approaching the person who is kind to us. First of all, we need to be aware of the difference between \"emotional feelings\", \"cognition\" and \"behavior\", and then we need to start adjusting the cognition. When you think about whether the other person likes you, or whether you are very good, try to take a deep breath first, and then adjust your thoughts, such as, \"Oh, maybe I'm overdoing it with the Libido, I'll balance it out, these friendships are a normal part of interpersonal interactions, I'll just use normal behavior to cope with it.\" At this time, come back to empathize with your inner feelings, whether it calms down a bit, and then take action.2. Learn some positive thinking meditation practice, through practice, let your inner wisdom help you to be more attuned to the present moment.3. Choose an autopsychology oriented counselor for a systematic counseling to re-establish a stable and appropriate interpersonal emotional system. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Since middle school, I've always magnified the kindness and malice of others. If someone treats you a little bit better, you can't wait to give your heart to them, and if someone says something unintentionally, it will make you mind for a long time. The subject is a very sensitive character, the ability to perceive love and hate is much stronger than normal people. This situation may stem from the influence of your parents in your early childhood. Maybe your parents didn't care for you enough, so you will feel less secure. You crave love from your parents, but this need is not met, so you crave love from others. Strong perception of hate may be due to dissatisfaction with parents and therefore magnified to others. Has very strict demands on others. Being sensitive is not a bad thing in itself, but a series of problems brought about by sensitivity can still affect your life. Giving unreservedly to others can easily give them a chance to hurt you. And denying others even the slightest thing can cause you to lose a lot of friends. Let's look at it from two perspectives. Protect yourself and be sincere to others, but sincerity should be based on moderation. One's favorite should be oneself, of course, the most love oneself does not mean selfish. You can love yourself enough to give sincerity to your friends, but you must not damage yourself for your friends. You can just laugh off the unintentional hurt of others. Human nature can not stand the test, not everyone is 100% good, there will be self-interest. Tolerating the small weaknesses of human nature will allow you to open up a lot of things, and then let yourself go. The relationship between people, ultimately, is a mutual need, whether it is the need for profit or emotional need, are relying on this bond to be linked together. Look away from some things, life is hard to be confused.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I don't think it's as dramatic as you make it out to be. I'd say you're a little closed off with so few friends that you're imagining things. If you have a lot to do and a lot of people to deal with, you can't afford to exaggerate yourself so much, can you? It's okay to magnify the good that others do for you. It's okay to minimize or forget the evil that others do to you. This is similar to being strict with yourself and lenient with others. In this way you have more friends, with a social circle, you will also have their own confidant, is worth their own two ribs, so that all have without entanglement. You see is not so?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 22042 + }, + { + "question": "How to stop expecting compliments and caring from your mother when she's patriarchal?", + "description": "When I was a child, my mom was always patriarchal and never gave me encouragement and appreciation. What I remember very clearly is that my mom would always hit me and blame me for my brother's mistakes. Now, my mom will still say in front of me in order to give birth to my brother so and so, I sometimes would like to pick her thorns, question and blame her, but I did not do that. Maybe the shadow of childhood is really hard to erase", + "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication, Growing Up", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Kisses hello and hugs. Every child wants to be cared for and loved by his parents, and wants to be important in the eyes of his parents. But in your family, your mom's \"patriarchy\" seems to have caused you a lot of pain and depression. Why do you feel patriarchal? I remember when I was a child and my younger brother was born, all the attention in the family was shifted to my younger brother because he was smaller and needed to be taken care of more. But at that time, we were actually still a child who didn't know any better and also needed to be taken care of and loved enough. At that time, our parents' favoritism towards our younger brother actually planted the seed in our hearts, so much so that later on, we always felt that we and our younger brother had been competing for our parents' love. But now, you have grown up, you may be able to understand and accept your parents' favoritism towards your younger brother. It's just that when you were young, you didn't understand things as well as you do now, so you kept this little thorn buried in your heart. How do you pull this thorn out? It's true that, like you said, childhood experiences are really hard to erase. It's actually our first time to be sisters/brothers, and our parents' first time to be parents! They didn't know that when dealing with two kids, how they take care of them is what makes both of them feel comfortable. We also kept quiet and kept this aggravation to ourselves. So, if try to give your parents feedback on how you feel without complaining or attacking them, will they also learn that you also need pampering and care all the time! ~ (Also think about it, if my parents don't take care of my brother, he's the one I'm going to have to help take care of! Forget about it haha) [You ask, how can you stop looking forward to your mother's compliments and caring] We look forward to our parents' compliments and caring, in fact, it's because we also pay attention to and care about our parents. There is no child who doesn't want to be praised and cared for by his or her parents, it's a normal thing! In fact, it is possible that your parents also care about you, but they do not always express it in the right way, and you need to teach them how to make you feel praised and cared for. You need to teach them how to make you feel complimented and cared for. Then you need to give your parents more feedback on how you feel! The world and I love you~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15280 + }, + { + "question": "25 years old, don't know how to communicate with people, always feel that you are not easily trusted?", + "description": "Sales negotiation, the inner hold I said the words may be customers will not pay attention to the idea, so talk about single no confidence, low turnover rate. Inside will be particularly lost, and do not know how to overcome. I feel that I am prone to self-limitation.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "What we express should, first of all, be something we recognize, maintain the degree of sincerity, and more often than not, put ourselves in the listener's shoes. From your description, it can be seen that you believe that you have self-qualification in interpersonal communication, you will not get the trust of others, and think that these affect your work effectiveness, inner very distressed, hoping to seek change. First of all, you need to distinguish whether you really have a problem, rather than a self-perceived or limited problem. Have others around you noticed and reminded you of the problems in this area? What are the behaviors you have tried to change? Secondly, one needs to distinguish the difference between one's communication with clients at work and with those around you in life, two scenarios that obviously need to be approached differently. When you recommend a certain item to the customer, the basic understanding of the product and certain sales skills and ability, is your professional ability; and how to face different customers, according to your observation and understanding of the other party's character traits, the way of doing things, which way to get their trust, is the personal ability you need to develop. Maybe you have no problem with your ability to express yourself and your ability to perceive, but the problem lies in the lack of trust in yourself. Inner denial of themselves, do not have enough confidence in themselves, but also do not have enough confidence in their own sales ability, these hidden reasons behind the loss of customers, more and more doubt in their own ability to fall into a vicious cycle. You can try to give yourself a positive psychological construction, that is, in addition to accumulating experience to enhance their professional ability, but also constantly in front of customers to express themselves, show their own self-confidence, to the place to generate trust and sincerely for each other to consider, rather than contradictory to the customer to sell products. Take your time, see your own growth, to be able to close a single, but also to give yourself encouragement and confidence, if you want to change yourself and achieve your goals, hard work and waiting, may be the same can not be missing. I believe that you will get better and better, but also in the post will slowly cope with the comfortable.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 42, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 42, + "end": 110, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 110, + "end": 178, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 178, + "end": 235, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 235, + "end": 278, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 278, + "end": 339, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 339, + "end": 441, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 441, + "end": 531, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 531, + "end": 595, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 595, + "end": 620, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 10831 + }, + { + "question": "What's a fifteen year old girl to do when she has a crush on her primary care physician?", + "description": "August 19 this year, sunny day, the first time I met him, a deep impression, because in the clinic downstairs convenience store to buy hot drinks, because the stomach is not good, the morning will be stomach pain, he reminded me of the wallet did not take, I said thank you, I am very touched that now there will be such a gentle person, and so on up the stairs into the clinic room found that he was actually my orthodontist, suddenly feel very coincidental. With the later review, I saw him more and more often, and found that he is a very gentle and gentleman and very handsome person, learning is also very rich, gentle and elegant, like cats, when he did not have patients will accompany me in the lounge with my parents to pick me up, and talk about the recent events and views. One time I had a sore aunt and thought it would be shameful to hold back and not be seen, but he noticed and tore off the heat patch he had in his jacket and gave it to me. Because I relative to girls, more like and male to get along with, think will be easier, the beginning of the time I did not think to him will have flutter, only think he is like a teacher is the elders, just to him is very respectful, but once I night dream dreamed that I and he together to see fireworks, wake up has been unable to stop the heart, lasted for a week, and then there are a few times dreamed that he and I have sex! ...... I started to be afraid to look him in the eye and started to not be able to stop thinking about him", + "keywords": "Love. Love.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The subject Hello, description and analysis First of all, buy a hot drink he reminded you of your wallet did not take, so you are very touched now there will be such a gentle person, and so on up the stairs into the clinic found that he was actually the attending physician, suddenly feel very coincidental. This is your first encounter, special encounter occasions, so that you have been extra attention to the doctor, just their own consciousness does not know it. In fact, the subconscious mind has already made a deeper impression on the doctor. With the later review, see him more and more often, found that he is a very gentle and gentleman and very handsome person, learning is also very rich, gentle and elegant, when he does not have patients will accompany you in the lounge waiting for parents to pick you up. When your subconscious mind starts to focus on a person, what you can see is also what you choose to see, and will automatically ignore or block out what you don't want to see, for example, you see a lot of his good points, and may automatically ignore some of his bad points, or bad words. Maybe he treats everyone else the same way he treats you, but to you, it's something else. Once just in time for a sore aunt, it made you think he was very attentive. The subconscious mind proved it right over and over again, making you feel more and more different about this doctor, optimizing his image more and more. At the beginning of the time did not think that there will be fluttering for him, just think he is like a teacher is an elder, just respect for him, but once I dreamed at night dreamed that I watched the fireworks with him, woke up and has been unable to stop the heart, lasted for a week, and then there were a few times dreaming that I made love to him ...... I began to be afraid to look into his eyes, and began to couldn't stop thinking about him. When I read Freud's \"The Interpretation of Dreams\", I saw some words: the fundamental driving force of human behavior is the unconscious sexual desire, i.e., \"Ribido\", and all human behavior is colored by sex. The fundamental desire of human beings is suppressed and hidden in the subconscious by the ego, superego, morality, society, and various other restrictions. This is the root cause of mental illness. As the superego relaxes its supervision during sleep, repressed impulses and desires take advantage of the opportunity to blend into the conscious mind and become dreams. Adults' dreams undergo various disguises and become magical and unpredictable, so that they always appear distorted and seldom identical with reality; nevertheless, they are the fulfillment of desires. Dreams are the most crucial aspect of the deeper activities of the human consciousness, and dream interpretation is an important way to understand the human subconscious. Your dream is your subconscious activity, it is not your real self, the subconscious mind had his very best ideas and needed to get your conscious mind influenced as well, so, you dreamed it, so you think you are in love with the attending doctor. Analyze that you need to be really sure, are these thoughts real, are they real, are they real? What do you like about him? Why do you like him? Or is it just some subconscious mind of your own that is playing tricks on you and making you go astray for the time being? I hope my answer can bring you help and inspiration, all the answers are only suggestions not answers, the answer can only rely on your own to find. In the process of thinking about other people's suggestions and practicing other people's methods, slowly go in search of your own answers, without realizing it you will find your true self. \ufe0fHere is BeiBei's nest, can bring you a warm light in the dark cold night, welcome to sit often! I wish you peace.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 184 + }, + { + "question": "Is it possible to know the psychology of a married man when his thoughts change?", + "description": "It is understood that he used to have a relationship that broke up when he was about to get married. He has been looking for a girl better than her, and finally found a girl like her, children are several years old, this time during the Hangzhou broken wife case news, his saying wrote: you give me to wait! With several pictures of kitchen knives. After a long time, and then write life which can be more as expected, turbid wine a cup of no sadness and happiness, half sadness and half happiness party for real. So may I ask, what is the state of this person's psyche in the end?", + "keywords": "Relationships, Lost Love, Getting Your Ex Back, Relationship Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "It is very difficult for an onlooker to know what is in a person's mind if he doesn't say it. Even a psychologist is not a god, and it is impossible to judge a person's state of mind on the basis of what he writes. Experienced psychologists can understand some inherent behavioral patterns through the visitor's account, so as to speculate on what he may be suffering from and how to treat it, but if the other person does not tell the details of the ins and outs, it is impossible to know what the other person is thinking. So if the subject really wants to know what the other person is thinking, you'll have to ask him directly. But the question is, why would you want to know what he's thinking? How does it benefit you to know what he's thinking? Or what's the point? There is too little information about this man to make any judgment about his psyche. His comment about the wife-shredding case was you wait, complete with a couple of kitchen knives, and it's not clear to whom he was saying wait, it seems like a simple emotional outburst that doesn't make any sense. If you really want to know what he meant, you'd still have to get it out of him to find out what he really thinks. For example, you could ask him what he thinks about the incident. How do you think you could have prevented such a tragedy, etc.? That's the only way to get a glimpse of the person's values. Another example is that he sent those words are only very abstract personal feelings, you do not know what happened to him to have such an expression, you can not explain his heart through a few lines of poetry, even if it is an elementary school language reading comprehension should be combined with the author of the times, personal experience to explain his work. The best way remains to ask the person what has happened recently? Why did they have such epiphanies. Understanding a person can only be achieved by spending time with him and talking to him, and you can learn a little bit about his values in the exchange, and also on the basis of his honesty with you, if he hides it, there is no way to understand this person. You can also see what kind of attitude he usually has towards people and things, whether he is helpful, emotionally stable, rational, or selfish, short-tempered, or even have behavioral problems, and so on.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 144, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 144, + "end": 172, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 172, + "end": 245, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 245, + "end": 353, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 353, + "end": 481, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 481, + "end": 512, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 512, + "end": 587, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 587, + "end": 643, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hugs to you. You must have been shocked by his \"Wait here! with a picture of several kitchen knives\". No matter what he is to you, it does give you pangs. Nowadays, a lot of people are in love or living with other people with their heads in the sand, and some people can't even leave that person even if it's life-threatening. Seeing the man you mentioned activated me I once took a remote visitor's counseling clip, I eventually rejected the visitor's case because of concerns for the visitor's safety, and strongly recommended that the visitor make sure to seek one-on-one face-to-face therapy with a local offline psychotherapist, because the visitor's husband would hold a kitchen knife to talk to the visitor, hold down the visitor's head and slam her temples into the corner of the table, and strangle the visitor! He would choke her until she suffocated, and then he would kneel down and hug her, crying and confessing, and then she would soften and forgive him, and the days went on like this, and every day she felt that her life was hanging by a thread. You actually dare to abandon me, I can not get who do not want to get love is difficult, difficult to get married, in fact, it is now difficult to break up, divorce is even more difficult, because many people in the divorce or break up when the other half will be forced to death. This is because on the one hand, the modern people's ability to resist frustration is too poor, can not withstand any less than ideal, a less than ideal do not want to live, or want to blame this less than ideal to others, anyway, it is your fault, anyway, all blame you. Another reason is that some people have the original trauma of abandonment, those traumas have always been there, and no one has ever asked, they are licking their wounds, waiting for the opportunity to retaliate, the family of origin can not give often in the intimate relationship to make up for it, when the partner abandons them when the abandonment of the trauma was torn open again, that kind of vengeance will come out, and the partner will become a victim of this, most people are very hard to realize that the real abandonment is happening in the family of origin. I had a visitor who saw the wife-shattering case and confided that there was a fear of being killed by her partner, and there was a cumulative fear in that pairing. The abusive model of relationship is more common in current partner relationships, why someone knows that the other person is hurting them, but they can not break free, this is because the relationship is not a healthy relationship, like two patients working together, it requires a family therapist to do systematic therapy to slowly crack this abusive relationship model, of course, this is also necessary that the relationship partner is able to recognize the pathology and is willing to help. willing to help.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "You well listen to the story you told and think of the last few cases of wife and body murders. Everyone carries the influence of their family of origin in enacting their own destiny. No matter how orchestrated the abusive drama, women are expected to have the ability to defend themselves. Those who live with trauma buried deep within, need greater determination to change their dramas. Without awareness, this hurtful energy will either hurt themselves and become guilty, judgmental, and terrified, or they will lose their minds and hurt those around them. No matter which kind of harm, is the challenge of fate, although there is no good or bad, are mutually agreed to interpret each other, how to reverse the plot, not to hurt each other, is the choice of each of us. The subject said the man no matter what the relationship, it can be seen on the previous relationship is not really put down, there is a great unwillingness in the heart. No matter how he is, the important thing is the man's wife, should have to protect their own consciousness, perhaps every woman should have the consciousness. In front of a man who has lost his mind and can't feel the softness of his heart, he is undoubtedly a brutal beast, and a woman can't fight back by strength. The best way to protect themselves is to enhance their own, with soft melt each other's hardness, with wisdom to influence each other back to reason, provided that the other side is worth it, if in any case are ignorant of the unwillingness to change, then do their own, do not have to try to use their own warmth to muffle a stone. Independence is the test of women, independence but also the best way to save themselves, may you and I do have the strength of women.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "It must have been full of anger and grief to break up when you were about to get married. Later on, he accepts the departure of \"that girl\" and compromises with reality to find a girl like her to start a family. It is possible that in the process of accepting her departure, many emotions that should have been taken seriously and cleared up were forcibly suppressed. These suppressed feelings were activated by some things in the following life (such as the wife murder case in Hangzhou, which the questioner wrote about), and he felt anger and grief again. From what the subject wrote, it seems that this man first expressed his anger with pictures of kitchen knives and the words \"You wait for me\". After a period of time, he seemed to accept a life that was not as good as he wanted it to be. In this process, his anger is reduced or suppressed, and he begins to surrender to a \"half sad, half happy\" life. This half-sad, half-joyful state of mind is characterized by helplessness and disappointment, but it is also the result of integration or compromise, accepting the imperfections of a life that is not as it should be, and accepting the imperfections of others and oneself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8356 + }, + { + "question": "December '95, Zhejiang College graduate, can find a what kind of?", + "description": "Family, education, vision, opportunity, talent, ability, effort, IQ, connections, resources ------ and even more, there are things that can not be replicated. I have the educational background of Zhejiang County, the influence of Cixi people, 40 years of life experience teaching, Ningbo Polytechnic influence, the influence of Zhejiang financial couples, Ningbo people's thinking, the workplace seniors 40 years of market pattern infiltration, library dabbling. The family environment is rather depressing, and is gradually coming out recently. I still don't feel confident inside. What are the ways to build confidence?", + "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Ideas, Matchmaking", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After reading the description of the subject, we can feel that there are a lot of stories happened in your body, and these stories will be of great help to our growth. About self-confidence, in fact, self-confidence is not given by others, but through their own ability to gradually prove, when others do not recognize us, we can first look for their own problems, to see what makes other people think we are not so reliable, is not enough due to the ability, or because of the lack of experience, or because of the age of the reason, when we can find the root cause of the problem, many answers will come to light. When we can get to the root of the problem, many answers will emerge. When others look favorably on us, do not be proud, because people are often not boastful, so we need to clearly identify themselves, know their success this time is accidental or inevitable, if it is an accidental success, then we can analyze the reasons for success, but also can be avoided, try to ensure that the next time you can still be successful, if it is inevitable, then it means that we have a certain strength, in this case, we will be able to find the root of the problem, many answers will emerge. If it is inevitable, then it means that we already have a certain strength, in this case, we'd better not be proud, not proud, to share their own success and joy to others, to become an easy-going person. Just graduated these years is our fastest growing years, sometimes really do not need to think too much, we can give ourselves some simple goals, such as through their own efforts to live in the city based on going on, make some new friends, cultivate some new hobbies, from time to time to carry out self-examination, look for their own problems, find their own advantages, and slowly make up for their shortcomings, I believe that you will become more and more excellent, more and more confident. You will become more and more excellent, more and more confident people. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17928 + }, + { + "question": "I don't seem to have a voice. Maybe silence is good for me?", + "description": "I don't seem to have a voice, no matter how I express it, but it seems that others will have an opinion in their hearts, they just don't express it. Whenever this time, I can only make up stories to comfort myself, to fantasize myself as a deal with the messenger, in order to obtain kindness and sympathy, will be their birthright to give up, slowly, I also hate themselves, that sympathy is only the capital of others to make fun of, but on second thought, there is nothing I can do, sometimes, I would like to become a madman, so that all the behavior is justified, and I consult is only, the answerer rolls his eyes in the heart of the I don't deserve to be loved, sympathized with, and maybe I shouldn't talk. I'm also just a selfish little person who is trying to gain the understanding of others, and I deserve to be called names, to be disgusted, and even to be scolded. I won't hurt anyone, and I won't if I have the ability to, because all the answers I get are questions, to pretend to be optimistic, to smile even if my heart is in pain, I don't deserve to leave, but I don't deserve to have to live, either!", + "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello Though a short paragraph, I see your ability to express yourself in words, which is an advantage to see for yourself. Whatever experiences you have had have caused you to suppress yourself so much, yet I see the desire to express yourself. It is only uncertainty about your expression that makes you care so much about what others think. First of all, understand that your own thoughts must be personal and colorful, and others have their own perceptions, so it is normal to have different opinions, it's just that you seem to take other people's different opinions as if they are denying or even mocking you, and this is something that needs to be adjusted. If in the past, because you have expressed your own claims and been denied or even ridiculed, it has caused you to be very uncertain about yourself. Then you need to see that you have branded every expression of yourself as having been once. This is an inner place that needs to be shone into by the light, a wound that needs to be cleared and let go of. Otherwise it will affect your own self-expression each time. Accept this homework of life, the power behind the homework is your power to blossom into your own self, rather you have a choice whether to tarry halfway through the test or to rise above it. It is the deep suppression of your own creativity that makes you so uncertain in the expression of your feelings and thoughts, that makes you so judgmental of your own worth and creates a sense of unworthiness. Getting back on the reconstruction of inner worth is a process, but it is never too late to start. You can usually pay attention to how you feel, and when your emotions come up, take more initiative to clean up, such as exercising more, going out into nature more often, and a better way for you is to write, you're a good writer, so you can vent your emotions and release negative energy through writing. Continuously clean up, will naturally reduce the time of delay, in the emotional occurrence, will naturally have a sense of awareness, so that they have the ability to withdraw from it, this withdrawal can not be affected by the emotions, will have a certainty about themselves. Doing more of what you like and what you are good at will allow your inner self-worth to continue to be recognized and accumulated so that you can have more confidence in yourself, and this confidence will allow you to have a sense of control over what you do, and naturally you won't care whether others approve of you or not. Good luck getting back to your inner self.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hugs to you Sometimes we take the parts of ourselves that we're not good at very seriously and think we suck, are bad, etc. From your description you can see that you want to fit into the chat with others, chat is to express their own ideas, a thing has a variety of interpretations, do not necessarily have to follow the crowd. In the face of other people's questioning and denial, in fact, stand in the perspective of what they say to think, maybe they also have a certain truth? We can not make everyone agree with us, but we also have to be brave to say their own ideas, perhaps at first there will be inconsistent with others, but said more, after understanding the ideas of people around, I believe you will slowly into the chat. We are not and everyone can chat with each other, chatting with so few people, through the exchange with others, you will find that very chatty people; after all, everyone has their own frequency, and their own frequency just can be on a few people. Come on, find someone you can talk to and express yourself to the fullest, be more happy.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4262 + }, + { + "question": "Do people really wear masks when they come to the hotel?", + "description": "A line from \"Hotel Mask\" says that people who come to the hotel are wearing \"masks\" and are not their real selves, is this true? How do I interpret it?", + "keywords": "Behavior, confusion", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "What is \"real\" and \"fake\"? Some people say that we all live in society with masks, and that what we see on the surface is not our true selves. Then where is the real self? Is it possible that the only true self is the one who immerses himself, satisfies himself, and is at his saddest, most sorrowful, or happiest every time? Watching movies and reading novels, we have to be clear about one issue, that is, the three-dimensionality of the characters, a so-called negative character whose reality has to be no evil? If he shows the good side of his heart is a mask of hypocrisy? I think this can not be generalized, and later we will understand that each role, character has a good side of the bad side, and its standard of judgment often sometimes does not depend on his behavior but on an overall position. Different positions often make a distinction between positive and negative. Human beings are social, which requires us to learn to integrate into society, which requires us to not always be left to our own devices and fulfill our own ideas in our interactions with others. We have manners, civility and all other decent activities. This requires us to say and do different things on different occasions, both for the sake of mutual respect and for the sake of maintaining our decency. One of the criteria for judging psychological abnormality is that the inability to do specific things on specific occasions means that your behavior breaks through the social norm and is out of character. Therefore, it is reasonable and necessary to do specific things on specific occasions, which is a manifestation of one's social normality. Everyone who goes to a hotel is wearing a mask, in the same way we can say that everyone who comes to school is wearing a mask, everyone who comes to work is wearing a mask, everyone who comes to a bar is wearing a mask, and even everyone in society is wearing a mask. The quote in the movie is just an artistic expression that is understood in many different forms. Everyone has a different purpose in different occasions, in order not to appear out of place they will hide some of their thoughts, or to restrain some of their behavior. For example, in some formal occasions to restrain themselves to look demure. You could say that all this behavior is an expression of one's unity, three-dimensionality. Of course you can also say that it's all about the person fitting in and pretending to other people. But you will always be in this society, if you think that you have to \"pretend\" to live, then how tired of your own psychological burden. Like Freud's ego and self, if we say that the \"self\" is the real me, and the \"ego\" is just a false mask that we think we have to submit to reality. It seems to make you feel quite thorough. But to emphasize this will only increase anxiety. What we need to do is to embrace the reality, not to be pierced by some seemingly penetrating statements, so as to seek self-exculpatory excuses. That's just irresponsible.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 106, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 106, + "end": 244, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 244, + "end": 376, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 376, + "end": 461, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 461, + "end": 577, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 577, + "end": 740, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 740, + "end": 795, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 795, + "end": 827, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 827, + "end": 881, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Instead of people who go to hotels wearing masks, we all have a mask, not every moment, but we all do. We all have things that we don't want others to know about us, secrets, and in order to keep our secrets from others, we may have to act differently than what is really going on inside. There are also masks that we wear to keep ourselves from losing out, for example, there are people who need to cater to their friends' views of opinions or they may be slowly ostracized and choose to wear a mask in order not to lose their friends, and this way of life exists as well, or for example, a waiter in a restaurant, who needs to constantly cater to the guests as a way of making sure that he or she gets the job done. The guest is the rulebook. --Shomi Yamagishi.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Subject, you are concerned about some social phenomena and have some realization about life, it is a reflection of your gradual maturity, which is good oh! You talk about the word mask, I think there can be some positive interpretation. Mask can be understood as, in order to save their own in the treatment of others in a form and content, the attitude of things to things seem too flexible. Such a person is essentially trying to save himself and protect himself as a way of survival, which has its rational explanation if it does not harm others. In addition, the mask can also be understood as a switch of social roles, because each of us is in different situations and has to fulfill social tasks in different social roles. For example, a manager has to take the lead, direct his team and fulfill the tasks assigned by his superiors. But when he comes home, he may be a husband, boyfriend role. He needs to bring another kind of family feeling to his wife and girlfriend, and needs to switch roles again, because his family does not want to be treated like a manager. Not to exclude some, in order to their own interests, and with the mask of detriment to their own people to achieve their own ends by any means necessary. Such people also exist, and we can only say that they recognize a way of life as a human being. But that doesn't mean they can influence themselves. Affect the way one sees the world. Such people are one more way for us normal people to identify that the wrong way exists. Blessing!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8658 + }, + { + "question": "Am I biased, or do I have more faith in the smaller ones?", + "description": "Both of my children took their exams at the same time in the last few days, and I was already saddened for a few days when the older one failed the exam. Today, I received the first test in my life for the younger one, and the results were also very poor. But when I saw the results of the little one (the little one's test was almost as \"bad\" as the big one's), I didn't have such an atmospheric attitude. On the contrary, I understood that she should not be unable to do it this time. Knowing that she doesn't know a lot of words and has never taken a test before, I believe that if she really goes on the road, she will not be bad. I've raised and brought up kids like I know. On the other hand, my older one has never had such bad grades, and this time when we looked at his grades and told him where he should not have gotten it wrong, he was still upset. So I think this kid is hopeless! Am I biased or do I have more faith in the younger one!", + "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Growing Up, Child Communication", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Seeing you say that you feel differently when you face the same \"unsatisfactory\" grades of your two children, I feel that you seem to be a bit confused about your own state: am I biased or do I have more confidence in the younger one? I can see in your description that the older child is usually pretty good, but this time the grades are not good, you feel sad, and when you tell him what should not be wrong, he is not happy, you feel that \"this child is hopeless\". I feel that you may think that older children \"should be able to do better\", and that there are some topics that \"should not be wrong\", or that even if they are wrong, \"they should not be upset, but should accept it with an open mind and not make such a mistake next time\". not to make such a mistake again\". In your opinion, the older child should have good grades, should not make mistakes, and should have a good attitude if he/she does. In fact, however, there is a large gap between the older child's results and performance on this test and your expectations, a gap so large that you feel \"this child is hopeless. You also described the state of the younger child: \"I know she doesn't know many words and hasn't taken the test\". Although her results were not good, they were not different from your expectations, and she still met your expectations. At the same time, you feel that although the younger child's grades are not good now, they still won't be bad in the future. In other words, in your expectation, the younger child \"would have done poorly in this exam\" I also noticed that you said, \"I know what kind of child I raised and brought up\". I don't know if you raised your older child the same way you raised your older child. But it seems that the child's behavior doesn't match your judgment, and it's causing you a lot of emotions, and you may also feel, with your older child, that \"I don't know him very well anymore, and he's too different from what I judged him to be.\" This kind of feeling can also make you feel that you \"don't know what's going on\", and that everything from grades to mistakes to attitudes are different from what you \"think he should be like\", and it can also make you feel that you are \"out of control! It can also make you feel like you're \"out of control\" - I think he should be this way, but he turns out to be that way, I want to help him become this way, but he turns out to be unhappy. It can leave a feeling of not being able to tell which way the future is going to go - I'm trying to help you go in the direction I want you to go, and you're not willing to cooperate. This can be very frustrating, and it's natural to feel that your child is \"hopeless\". From the above analysis, it seems that you may have higher expectations for the older child, but the older child is too far away from your expectations and is not cooperating with you to move in the direction you want, which is why you are more frustrated with him. As for the younger child, you do not have high expectations for her, and it is in line with her ability. The final result is within your acceptance, so you may feel that you are still more at ease, and dare to believe that she will develop well in the future. To summarize the above, I feel that the difference in your attitude and feeling towards the two children comes from the gap between the actual situation of the children and your expectation on the one hand (the bigger the gap the harder it is to accept), and on the other hand, it has something to do with whether or not your judgment is accurate, and whether or not you are sure that the children will develop in the direction you expect them to develop (the more inaccurate the judgment is, the harder it is to develop in the direction you expect them to develop, and the more you feel that there is no hope). Because I don't know more about the details, I'm only providing some possibilities for reference based on some of the information I know, which may not be completely in line with your situation, so you can think about it and make judgments based on your own specific situation.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 130, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 130, + "end": 210, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 210, + "end": 333, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 333, + "end": 462, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 462, + "end": 488, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 488, + "end": 578, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 578, + "end": 684, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 684, + "end": 762, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 762, + "end": 895, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 895, + "end": 1017, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 1017, + "end": 1088, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Maybe it's not so much favoritism as it is the fact that the small one still has hope because she still has more time and the possibility of change, so it feels like what's in front of her isn't the end result. The big one (I don't know how big it is) is less likely to be a flop because of more failures and the \"expiration date\" closer at hand.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 9145 + }, + { + "question": "What should I do if I feel sorry for a guy when I chase him halfway?", + "description": "After chasing a boy for ten or twenty days, I feel that the two of us are too different, too far away, do not have the confidence to continue to pursue, yesterday politely rejected him. I'm so afraid that he expects too much from me, which will lead to too much disappointment, and I won't be able to see him again, what should I do?", + "keywords": "Relationships, Love Loss, Security, Relationship Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Lou Lou hello ah, here is A Liang, a willing to be your little sun here, A Liang first give Lou Lou a big hug. Hug Lou Lou this little cutie. A cool here, read the words of the building, know that the building must be bad now, to be able to say it all, that the building is really drummed up a lot of courage. Here, Ah Liang first of all have to encourage the building of this behavior, because this represents a kind of trust you have for us, at the same time, Ah Liang also feel very honored to be able to help you answer part of the confusion. After reading the content of the building, A Liang also knows the current situation of the building. Know the building's heart of some uncertainty, but also understand that there are some \"emotions\" have been in the building building's heart, those emotions are like not find a vent, has been in the heart of the accumulation of pressure, feel like it is about to overflow. Here, a cool want to according to their own insights, for the building to analyze and make some small suggestions: \"like a person is our right, at the same time, letting go is also our right\" from the building of the first paragraph of the text, a cool can see, the building of the heart of the feelings already have an obvious answer, you feel and he has some big gaps. Some big gap, however, in this relationship, indeed is the floor first to pursue him. Then from the time to judge, Lou Lou has been chasing him has been about twenty days or so, but can see Lou Lou and the boy between there is an obvious progress, perhaps the feelings of the two of you are in a warming state. Maybe with a little more effort, the boy will be relieved to say yes to you. But Lou Lou has some problems that have to be faced, for example, the distance between you and him is a little far, and the gap between the two people is also a little big. A Liang does not know what Lou Lou here \"gap\" refers to, but A Liang guessed that this contains too many factors, which led to Lou Lou will be in this matter on the face of the difficult. This gap may be the building and some of his three views of the problem, may also be the two families of the reason, no matter which one of them, the building's heart is not good. Coupled with a distance reason, Lou Lou can produce a retreat heart of this relationship, A Liang also able to figure out. In fact, this retreat, it does not mean that the floor in a certain degree is a \"bad girl\", therefore, the floor does not need to give themselves too much psychological pressure. When we like a person, we will have a kind of urgent want to be with him mood, this is human nature. Human beings have the right to pursue their own love. At the same time, I also admire Lou Lou's courage. Because in Liang's opinion, most of the girls are in a passive state, they are often in the face of their favorite person, often take a wait-and-see attitude, or wait for the boy to cross touch that step. And Lou Lou can go after her, then Lou Lou's heart is actually very clear at the beginning of what they want, may be at the beginning. His body does have a lot of attraction to you. However, through this nearly twenty days after the understanding, you feel that the two of you actually in essence is not suitable for together. In fact, it doesn't matter, people are supposed to have the right to reject. If you choose to stay with him because of the guilt in your heart, this is actually a disguised \"irresponsible\" for yourself. Because, you have no guarantee that you will be in the future with him in the process of what kind of problems, and when these problems appear, you do not have a solution, you will also be at a loss, which is also a kind of harm to you. Because, there has never been a relationship that is barely together that will last. The ones that do end up together just don't work out in the end. Therefore, out of you, as well as a \"responsible\" for him, you feel that the two of you are not suitable, then this relationship, A Liang hope that Lou Lou can end here. Timely stop loss. \"A relationship, there will inevitably be some regrets\" A Liang also from the floor of the text of the floor to understand why the floor is not willing to speak directly to him, but politely rejected him. Lou Lou also gave A Liang answer, because he was afraid that he had too high expectations of Lou Lou, Lou Lou also afraid of the other party disappointed. In Lou Lou's heart, the relationship is also full of helplessness, you are separated from each other, the heart wants to say something to each other, but because you can not see people, and do not know what to do to be good. Here, Ah Liang think Lou Lou must be a very gentle girl, always consider for each other in everything. But Ah Liang also hope that Lou Lou can be a little \"selfish\" so a time, it is because the two of you are not in the same place, Ah Liang think that there are some words better to say out. Because of this, in order to give each other to leave a decent. Lou Lou certainly do not want to say these words out in front of him, then Lou Lou can through the \"communication\" way, to explain to him all this. You feel that the two of you are not very suitable, I believe that out of a kind of respect and understanding of you, the other side can also understand your feelings. Of course, if the other person already have the idea of you want to be together, then the building can also listen to his ideas. If the building feels that this idea is feasible, then you can also consider being with him. If you feel that his ideas and your ideas are not the same, then the floor to inform each other, the two of you may not be suitable. Lou Lou also do not because you feel that after doing so, is to hurt each other, and deep self-blame. Everything should always be a little more open, the reason why people want to find a person and their together. The greater wish is to be able to be able to two people together after the day can be happy every day, if together, in turn, there is a psychological burden, which is a bit more than worth the loss. The above is a cool to Lou Lou some advice, I hope to give Lou Lou's life can help, finally, a cool hope Lou Lou can be a little brave, and, a cool also believe that Lou Lou can be done. Because, the building has the courage, just the building has not yet understood that they can actually. Finally, Ah Liang here to wish Lou Lou can keep the clouds open to see the moon. May Lou Lou no longer for the feelings of things two troubled.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14041 + }, + { + "question": "On your own terms or stewardship? Which is more important, yourself or your family?", + "description": "If you don't live on your own terms, you don't love yourself? If you live your life on your own terms, you have to ignore your family and children. That again becomes not ......", + "keywords": "Family, family relations", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "#Is it unloving to not live life on your own terms? #The phrase itself is \"problematic\". Loving or not loving yourself has nothing to do with being able to live your life on your own terms. Do you need a reason to love yourself? If you need a reason, do you still love yourself? Living your life the way you want to live it depends on whether the circumstances are such that you can do it in the moment; not just because you want to. For example, if you want to start a business and you don't have the start-up capital, how can you start a business? Wouldn't you have to accumulate start-up capital first? There are preconditions to living \"on your terms\". You can't assume that your preconditions exist all the time and that just because you want to, you can. There's a long way to go before you can think about doing it, and if you live on your own terms, you have to leave your family and children behind. #It's not a dichotomy between the two, there's no conflict between caring for your family and your kids and living on your own terms; it's just how you divide your energy between the two, not that you have to choose one or the other. For example, you can go and live your life on your own terms after you've finished with your family and kids. Or you can take care of your kids & family with your own lifestyle right? From your description, you have divided all things in life into dichotomies, that is, if you choose A, you have to give up B, and if you choose B, you have to give up C. But is the real life like this? No. It's more a test of your ability to harmonize your responsibilities with your own needs to find a balance. Instead of having to go out of your way for a choice. You can leave a message or private message if you need to communicate.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner~ First of all, I would like to give the owner a warm hug and understand very well how the owner feels. There is no time to separate yourself from your family, so you feel anxious and conflicted. This is actually very normal. But living life on your own terms doesn't mean that you're not minding your own business. Nor does housekeeping necessarily mean giving up all of your lifestyle. Living on your own terms means taking care of yourself while you take care of your family. Housework and cooking these are essential. But we don't have to necessarily put all our energy around the family. What do you mean by revolving around the family? For example, when you go to the supermarket, you buy things for your children, you buy things for each other, you buy things for the elderly in your family. But it just doesn't occur to me to buy things for myself. Another example is planning and arranging what to do for everyone in the family, such as letting the kids go to tutoring classes and letting the other person go to get their hair cut when they have nothing else to do, but not having a plan or intention for yourself. Then it's actually perfectly fine to take care of ourselves a little more after we've done the basic family events. Like going around the store more, changing a few of your clothes, scheduling your hair to be done, reading some of your favorite books, doing some of your favorite things, and so on. Good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1331 + }, + { + "question": "Can obsessive-compulsive symptoms be acquired?", + "description": "Are obsessive-compulsive symptoms something that can be acquired by oneself or are they formed due to other reasons? If I consciously repeat something for a long time, such as to organize my desktop before going to bed, or to go to bed after 1:00, is it a compulsion? Or is it just a habit?", + "keywords": "Behavior, coercion", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, obsessive-compulsive disorder can be acquired, obsessive-compulsive disorder is a kind of repeated, repetitive thinking and action, the specific performance of the extreme pursuit of things perfect state, a little bit of \"do not achieve the goal will not stop,\" meaning, usually in the age of 19-29 years old onset, and the psychological development of adolescents and the family environment, and other factors also have a close relationship. Secondly, conscious training of their own behavior may also appear mild obsessive-compulsive symptoms, you can try not to take the initiative to organize the desktop before going to bed, and then in accordance with the usual procedures to complete the preparation for sleep, during the period of time, do not intentionally go back to think about their own desktop has not yet been organized this matter, and then you observe whether there is insomnia or other abnormalities, if the thought of thinking about falling asleep, that is, just their own hints to their own.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21259 + }, + { + "question": "There are often punch cards, do you sometimes study for them?", + "description": "Often there will be some punch card activities, the beginning of the initial intention is to learn and punch card, and later will feel that the punch card is more important than learning, such as learning but the system just does not count the points do not punch card, at the moment is such a state of mind want to look for feedback, but also feel that deviates from the original intention of learning, how to do it?", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work-study", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello questioner, I see you ask such an interesting question, let me answer it. Nowadays, the knowledge service industry is growing, and there are some communities as well, which set up conditions for punching the clock in order to incentivize people to learn. I have joined some of them, some for six months, some for a week or two. Short-term clocking in may be fine, long-term ones can be very grueling, and once something comes up on a particular day, clocking in becomes a real pain in the ass. Once you break off for two days, you lose interest in studying afterward and become very sick of punching the clock, and don't want to study because you hate punching the clock. These are some of my feelings, I wonder if the subject has such feelings? Then if so, how to adjust it? First of all, our purpose must be to learn, to go to some boot camps for the purpose of growing our horizons and improving ourselves. I think it would be better if we can ask about the rules beforehand, so that we can also make better adjustments to the learning phase. I currently live overseas and there is a time difference of exactly 12 hours from home, so clocking in would be very difficult for me. So, many times, I will give up on clocking in and just learn from it and watch the videos. Sometimes, in order to promote or motivate, businesses will design various posters to encourage sharing, to \"prove\" that \"I\" have learned again today, to satisfy people's \"vanity\" or desire to show off. or to fulfill people's vanity or desire to show off. I am a person who basically does not read the circle of friends, and basically does not post status, so I do not have these desires, or do not need anyone to recognize me. When I do not have these \"indifferent emotions\", I will be serious, good deep plowing in the study. Punch card is a motivational tool to encourage us to be disciplined every day, but it is cold and sometimes mechanical. If we can go ahead and make good use of this clocking thing, it will also better assist us in our studies. So, you don't have to get stuck for this, take it easy and study. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3910 + }, + { + "question": "Can't walk away from a breakup, and you still can't get over your ex even months after the breakup?", + "description": "It's been a few months since we broke up and I still can't get over it, remembering our moments more clearly. She is everywhere in my life. It's hard for me, I love her so much. Even my own unthinking actions and thoughts had her in them. My moods are up and down, sometimes euphoric and sometimes depressed, and I feel bipolar myself. It's hard. We've been together from June last year to March this year, which isn't very long. I often think of various ways to commit suicide, such as standing by the window and imagining myself jumping off.", + "keywords": "Relationships, Lost Love, Getting Your Ex Back, Relationship Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello subject how long does it take to get over a breakup, I think it varies from person to person, it could be a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years. Most people after a breakup will probably be in a situation like yours: thinking back to the old moments, depressed or up and down, having a hard time, or even thinking about suicide. However, most people eventually come out of such a state. Be confident that your situation like this won't last forever either, and give yourself some more time to be in a position to allow yourself to be difficult for a while, to allow yourself to miss the other person, it's okay, just honor your feelings. Of course, if you feel like you might have bipolar disorder, it is advisable to see a psychiatrist. Especially, if after a few more months, or even longer, you're still not getting better, or even worse, definitely see a psychiatrist, or a counselor. In fact, I think that if you have really loved someone, it is unlikely and unnecessary to completely forget the past. Perhaps, it is possible to always keep a place in your heart that will rest the good memories you once had, and it can be a very beautiful treasure inside you. I always think, a relationship is worth it, does not lie in the length of time, lies in the final end, as long as ever really loved, once had good memories, that is already very worth it. After the breakup, you can still bless each other, but also bless yourself! There was once such a beautiful feeling, and will still be there in the future. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16837 + }, + { + "question": "It feels so strange, how can I go on without my parents believing me and taking me to the hospital?", + "description": "Recently, insomnia is very serious, the longest this week for three consecutive days without closing their eyes, can sleep at most can only sleep three or four hours, I can not control their own want to clean the heart, three or four times a day to take a shower, in the school has no conditions have been washing hands and brushing teeth, the weather every day is very good, but I stared at stared at the always crying, my heart is sometimes very depressing and sad, but I can not cry out because I feel that crying also no one can help me, very numb and tired, and want to die, and want to go to the sea, my parents do not believe me, has been delayed not to take me to the hospital, afraid that I will go very suddenly one day. I want to die, I want to go to the sea, my parents don't believe me, they keep delaying to take me to the hospital, I am afraid that one day I will go very suddenly, how can I go on?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Moods, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ according to your description \"insomnia serious, can not control their hearts want to clean, repressed sad, can not cry\", can see that these problems can not be ignored, if your parents do not have the time to take you to the words, you can try to go to the hospital to check it out, or let a friend to go with you to rule out the possibility of depression and other mental illnesses, and then report to your parents. The possibility of mental illness, and then report to your parents. You need to calm yourself. The more anxious you are, the more present the uncomfortable symptoms will be. Many illnesses can only come to light after you have been to the hospital for a checkup, and if you're left on your own to make wild guesses, this will not only fail to solve the problem, but may also make it worse.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5694 + }, + { + "question": "I'm about to lose my mind. I'm about to kill myself.", + "description": "I made a girlfriend my freshman year of college and I love her very much. She told me she wasn't a virgin, I always complained about her at first and wanted to break up but never could, we both cried together. The other day after I pressed her, she told the truth, that her first time was when she was raped. I am now tempted to go kill myself, find that bastard and kill him for sure. I'm going crazy, please enlighten me. Thank you. I'm in a very difficult situation. I'm just a college student and I'm under so much pressure. I really feel bad.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Dear subject, at this moment you are still feeling pain. When we allow pain to flow through our bodies, it slowly nourishes us and perhaps the future will gain a new share of strength as a result. Don't forget, too, that you can take a break and pause. Time is for feeling, and we still have time. When you are tired, take a break.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 22312 + }, + { + "question": "Single parent, lack of fatherly love, uneasy about boyfriend's love?", + "description": "My father died when I was a child, and my mom raised me, and I knew how hard it was for her, so I was always very understanding and tried to find ways to give her reciprocal love. When I went to college, I fell in love and my boyfriend was very nice to me. He gave me gifts for holidays and birthdays and took care of me when I was not feeling well. I felt guilty and learned to love him as much as he loved me, but after he felt my love he said to me, \"Girls are meant to be spoiled.\" I'm still upset, how do I regulate my feelings?", + "keywords": "Relationships, Relationship Management, Good Feelings", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi Owner~ Your father died when you were a child, and you worked very hard to support your mom. You have suppressed all your fears, scares, and even grievances, and have become a \"grown-up\" to be dependent on your mom. Luckily, you met a good relationship with a guy who is willing to pamper and take care of you. But this feeling of being taken care of is so strange, so different from what you've experienced since you were a child, that you're very uneasy - you don't know if you deserve all this, and you don't know if all this \"goodness\" will disappear in an instant like when your father died when you were a child! You don't know if all this \"goodness\" will disappear as quickly as your father died as a child. Is that right? When you should have been a child, but you didn't because of a change in your family, and you were not released and accepted, you probably have some trauma left in your heart. Those emotions and feelings of fear and insecurity as a child don't go away because they are suppressed, they lurk deep inside. When you grow up, when you actually have the ability to pursue a better life, have the opportunity to build a good relationship, those once suppressed in the bottom of the heart of the emotions, will still continue to subconsciously tell you: the outside world is very dangerous, the beauty of those rapidly changing, I should have suffered pain, I do not deserve to get stable happiness ..... The sense of crisis and uneasiness is actually a very important regulatory mechanism for human beings. If our ancestors were not sensitive to external dangers, they would have been eaten by animals long ago and would not have survived to this day. This uneasiness comes from genes, from experience. Because your father died, because you've experienced loss, there's a mechanism within you that's very alert to prevent you from being hurt again. It's just that this vigilance, at times, is too sensitive and may not be appropriate for the present circumstances. So, to adjust this emotion, one has to accept that everyone has sensitivities and defense mechanisms, and it's unlikely that they can be completely eliminated. When this emotion arises, be aware of it, accept it, and stay with the feeling. Secondly, it is important to look at this mechanism from the past in a rational perspective, out of step with real life. Behavior is not controlled by this emotion, but by seeing real life and what is not happening. Third, tell yourself that you can love others, that you are worthy of being loved, that you are worthy of being taken care of, that you have the right and the ability to build your own life and relationships. Further, and perhaps a deeper thought. Everyone has fears, some fear the loss of loved ones, some fear death, some fear the loss of wealth, and so on. It is a feeling embedded in everyone's heart. From a Buddhist perspective, the way to dissolve this fear is to live in the present moment. Everything is impermanent, created and destroyed by karma. Fathers come and go, and perhaps emotions come and go, and all people have no control over the rapidly changing world outside. If we put our happiness, completely, on the external world, then every day probably our emotions will fluctuate violently. The only way to achieve stable happiness is to live in the present moment, to experience the feelings of each moment, and to be aware of our own hearts. Live in the present moment ~ enjoy the happiness of the present moment ~ may you love yourself and have the right person to love you too~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hugs to you! Thanks for the trust and let's pulse comb together! (1) My father died when you were a child, and my mom raised you as a child, and knowing how hard it was for her, I was always very understanding and tried to find ways to give her reciprocal love. @Dear, in the description, I can see that the way you think of \"love\" is not what \"love\" looks like in its entirety. Or that the love given by the mother was not too heavy and full of \"scarcity\". What you felt in it was more powerlessness and guilt, and you didn't get nourished by it and felt rich and precious. (2) When you went to college and fell in love, your boyfriend was especially nice to you. Whether it's a holiday or a birthday, he will give you gifts, and will take care of you when you are not feeling well. You feel guilty and learn to love him as much as he loves you, but after he feels your love he says to you, \"Girls are meant to be spoiled.\" You're still upset, what can you do to regulate your feelings? @Only see that your boyfriend is so good to you that you see him as family, which triggers \"early\" family of origin interaction patterns, so honey, what you're giving isn't love, it's just an attempt to escape \"guilt\" and feelings of worthlessness. \"compensatory\" machinations. The irrational belief behind it is: you give too much, I feel guilty and uncomfortable about it, I have to give the same in return in order to be at peace, and ultimately: I don't deserve to be treated this way. @When we see the truth behind it, we just need to find out what's unreasonable about it and replace it with a reasonable belief. @The next time this \"guilt\" rears its ugly head, tell yourself: you deserve the best of everything in the world, and you deserve to be cherished! I encourage you to do the same!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 2440 + }, + { + "question": "What to do when you are accused of being upset and helpless in the face of someone's incomprehension?", + "description": "A certain way of development or choice, for oneself, is a survival strategy, something that must be done, but in the eyes of others it is false, hypocritical, escaping reality, feeling bad about being blamed, but helpless, no way to explain, and it is very difficult to change one's mind, indicating that it is very contradictory and annoying, I can't do something that is not in my actual interest to satisfy someone else's ideas or concepts, can I? When the time comes, who will make up for my loss! At that point, someone will call you a stupid X again! Being irresponsible to yourself and getting involved with shitty people and shit!", + "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotion Regulation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After carefully reading your question, I understand that your current trouble is mainly that other people are full of accusations or even disparaging remarks about their choices or ways of behavior, while you want to stick to your own ideas to do things, but you will be affected by them, and your mood is very bad and your heart is conflicted. First of all, it needs to be affirmed that you choose to stick to yourself in the face of other people's negative comments about yourself, instead of condescending and suppressing yourself in the future to gain other people's approval. Of course, this has brought you some negative emotions. Below I will give you some advice from some aspects, I hope to inspire you. [Realize: \"Other people's values are other people's, and other people's emotions are other people's too!\"] In life, it is impossible to align our values with those of everyone around us, so there is always the possibility of triggering conflicts and contradictions with others. The same thing that someone else sees through his eyes is a different view from yours, or even a completely different view. Values are like a processing plant in our brain, and everything that enters our brain is completely different after going through this processing plant. Everyone has different life experiences, and these experiences lead to different values. Maybe what you like, in other people's experience, but brought him pain, so he is very disgusted; maybe what you hate, but it happens to be the most beautiful vision of others. Therefore, let yourself learn to tolerate other people's values, even if they are alien to you, while holding on to your own. Because it all encompasses a story that you can't see. Of course, you get negative emotions all at once when you are blamed by someone else, the very same emotions that others get when they are irritated, and you have to remember: \"It's someone else's emotions, not yours!\" Our emotions are always going to be easily transmitted and spread, so when someone else sees you behaving in certain ways, this may have stimulated a certain hurtful story from his past, which creates a lot of negative emotions, while you inadvertently embrace someone else's emotions again. [On a deeper level, this may also involve your control of the relationship] The above are our salvage responses to the disagreements and negative emotions that arise in a relationship, and with good awareness, these problems in a relationship can also be avoided. However, let's look at it from another angle: your anger at others' disagreements and negative comments also implicitly contains your desire to control everything in the relationship. In your heart, you know that what others are saying is unfavorable to you and in conflict with your own values, and you know that there is nothing you can do to change them, but you still feel anger, and this anger is the very emotion that arises from the inability to navigate the relationship and to make others conform to your wishes. Therefore, it is important to see the unnecessary desire to control the relationship within yourself, make yourself aware of your excessive desire to control, and gradually reduce the anger that arises in the relationship.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 87, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 87, + "end": 161, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 161, + "end": 187, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 187, + "end": 218, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 218, + "end": 300, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 300, + "end": 381, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 381, + "end": 434, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 434, + "end": 474, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 474, + "end": 554, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 554, + "end": 657, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 657, + "end": 765, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 765, + "end": 855, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 855, + "end": 910, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, very understand your tangled feelings Problem Analysis and Suggestions: From your description of the understanding, you seem to be particularly concerned about the evaluation of others, so that you can not focus on doing what you think is right, you think that if you go to do what you think is right will be blamed by others, is that so? Here we need to explain to you a concept called subject separation, subject separation in layman's terms means that you should distinguish between their respective responsibilities, and make it clear that your business and my business are not related to each other. For example, you do a thing you think is right, others therefore expressed his personal opinion, even if you do something to disappoint the other side, then his disappointment is his own need to solve the problem, you do not need to pay the bill for other people's emotions, but also do not need to do according to the other side of the meaning of the things against their own minds to echo the expectations of others. You say, [I can't do things that don't serve my own actual interests to fulfill other people's thoughts or ideas, right? When the time comes, who is going to make up for my loss?\", you also realized that the irrelevant words of others cannot determine your choice, after all, the final result is to be borne by yourself. The thing you are afraid of is that when you don't listen to others, you will be blamed, and what does that mean to you? Does it mean that you are denied by others, the feeling of denial thwarts your sense of self-worth and makes you feel bad, but is the evaluation of others really that important? Is your sense of self-worth only tied to what others say? Suggestions: 1. Before making choices, the first to follow their own ideas and needs, allowing others to make suggestions but does not mean that you have to accept them all, as long as you can afford the responsibility for the final result, can afford to be good, the emotions and evaluation of others is that you don't need to be too concerned about or even the joys and sorrows of others all wrapped up in their own body. 2. The best way to defend against the negative evaluations of others is to improve their own ability, just think about it! A person who has scored 100 points will be afraid of others saying that his grades are poor? When you are sure enough of what you are doing, you will not pay too much attention to what others are saying, so you need to focus more on your own improvement. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "My advice to the subject is this: every time you have an unpleasant interaction with someone else. Distinguish between what you can do to adjust and what others can do, do what you can do and the matter is over for you. Let's analyze what you can do: respect and appreciate the other person's advice. Think calmly about whether the other person's suggestion has some merit. Think about what you feel is desirable or partially desirable, and all is happy. Feeling that it is not desirable, state outright that the suggestion may not correspond to the reality of the situation and that you do not want to accept it. Clarify the misunderstanding: Explain your current situation and your reasons for making a certain decision. If the other person accepts and respects it, all is well. If the other person persists in pointing fingers at you, then consider it stepping into your boundaries and actively stay away. The one thing you can't control, of course, is the other person's reaction and thoughts. Every time someone gives an opinion, it would be extremely beneficial for you to do these seven steps. There are three main ones: although you are the one who knows your situation best, you only have one perspective. Other people's advice you bring multiple perspectives to the table, and only listening to \"one family's opinion\" does not guarantee that rational judgment will be made permanently. Respect and communication are essential to any relationship. Only by establishing such a positive environment with others can we be good to each other and good to each other. Stay away from people who are unable to respect and communicate with each other. Once you find that the other person does not have the will to build a positive relationship environment with you, but is bent on intruding and interfering in your life, breaking through the self-imposed boundaries that you have set, it is also possible to stay away from in time, to avoid adding to their own \"upset\" and \"helplessness\". These are some of my suggestions, I hope the subject can be inspired. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello subject, how are you, it must be awful to have to deal with something like this, hugs to you and I hope it brings you a bit of peace. [Sorting Feedback] First of all, sort out what I've seen, and see if you're right. First, you made a choice that others don't understand and even blame. Second, you are upset that others don't understand. Third, it's annoying that there's nothing you can do to change other people's opinions of you or to make yourself cater to them. [Understanding and Analysis] Let's talk about my understanding and opinion. First, first of all, you made a choice that many people don't understand. I think it's particularly brave. At least it's good to know what you want clearly. Secondly, there is a saying that \"it looks fake to others\", how should I interpret this saying? How do you know what other people think or think? Is it a guess or a hearsay? Or who are these \"others\"? Family? A friend? A coworker? A passerby? And, did they do anything other than not understand? Did they cause you distress on a behavioral level? Third, other people's lack of understanding bothers you. Other people's lack of understanding, the guy who was the first to suggest that the earth was round back in the day seems to have been burned at the stake, and I'm guessing he was pretty upset too. And there are so many people who don't understand him, and I'm afraid that includes his closest relatives and loved ones, and even his faith. Then again, do people not understand you because they don't want to, or are they incapable of understanding you? Like I said in the example above, no one had that ability to understand in the first place, and with your choice, do people have the ability to understand? If not, it's the equivalent of trying to get a non-swimmer to swim across a river on his own, and I think what's hurting you might not be other people's lack of understanding, but your desire to do so. Fourth, why do you have this wish? If our family had a mine, I don't think any of us would be running around for money, so the reason there is such a need for understanding must be because the family may not be wealthy in this regard. Whose problem is it that the family has not been rich? I think it must not be the problem of the people who don't understand you. So, if the family is not rich in understanding just go ahead and solve the problem. Of course the solution to this problem requires information that is not in the question, it requires further information and further methods, but in general it is just four words, acceptance, communication. Other people's brains are in other people's bodies, we do not have to change, after all, other people did not pay, is not it. It's better to change our own, it's good for you. Methods suggested] to give you a few tips: First, if you want, you can find a counselor to talk to, someone to help clear the mind is good, if not, do not make it difficult for themselves. Secondly, there is a meditation planet, when you are in a bad mood, you can meditate, it helps to meditate and think. Third, I recommend a book for you, The Satya Model and Self-Growth. Finally, I would like to say, freedom is good, the other side of freedom is to take full responsibility for yourself, I hope you can be happy and free to fly! Cheers! I hope my answer will be helpful to you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Through the description, I can guess that the subject is probably a well-adjusted person and believes that some of her behaviors and choices, which are her own survival strategies, seem reasonable and necessary to her. Yet they are not understood by others, are seen as hypocritical, and are upset about it, is that right? On the one hand, you want to protect yourself and be true to yourself, but on the other hand, you want to be accepted by others! Where do I go from here? There is a term in psychology: self-identification! It means that when a person is on the path of growing up, facing the judgments and stares from the outside world, we can still accept ourselves and still be ourselves freely! The questioner is now in such a confused situation, the outside world's questioning makes you lose yourself, so you are not able to complete the self-identification well! Change others, or accept yourself? This is the question! Or how to harmonize the two and adjust yourself! It is the question worth thinking about right now! Read more, increase your wisdom, and you will be more able to accept yourself. Inner strength will bring peace of mind and calmness, and thus you will also be fearless of external judgment! Try to interact with more, more people, you will find that there is no such thing as one voice, each person's views are different, are different positions, see people's horizons broaden, you will not care so much about the evaluation of others, and also be able to understand why others would be that way! Finally, it is better to take action than to think too much!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Good evening, subject! Having read through the middle of your question, it gradually sinks in and seems to clear up as, your ego, between the Self and the outside world, doesn't know how to choose. What is the source of this tangle and pain? It's an assumption that we can't decide for ourselves, so a book popped into my mind at once, called \"Living the Meaning of Life\" by Viktor Frankl, the only survivor of a Nazi concentration camp in his family. He was profoundly aware that no matter when we are, even when we are behind bars, we can still take responsibility for our own lives, live, and live well. The Nazi was compelled by orders to shoot at the moment of the shooting, but at the moment of the shooting, he could have chosen to deflect the gun by one centimeter. Can you understand what I mean? You can have the right to choose what kind of lifestyle you want to live, as long as you really agree with it deep down. From this point of view, the outside world is actually a noise. If you really agree with your behavior from the bottom of your heart, how can you be swayed by the interference of outsiders? So from this, we see that, on the one hand, we need to continue to clarify in depth what we think and how we think. Is it that we really think this way, or was this originally a foreign implanted idea (and therefore not really agreeable from within). On the other hand, look at why the words of an outsider cause such a reaction within ourselves, and whether it is some unconscious psychological defense that we are projecting onto the outsider. Their own life, ultimately to be responsible for their own, we have to be the master of life, have their own responsibility. Above, common discussion, I hope to inspire and help!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello ah, saw your description, felt your upset and helplessness after being accused, hugs. Kudos to you for being able to think independently and bravely sticking to your opinion in the face of accusations from others. However, this also inevitably brought you upset and made you feel very helpless. On a cognitive level, there are no more than three things in our lives. One is our own business, that is, what we can arrange; one is someone else's business, that is, what someone else dominates; and one is God's business, that is, what is beyond our ability. Everyone has different experiences and inevitably their own outlook on life and values. As you say, \"a certain way of development or choice is a survival strategy and a must for oneself, but it seems phony, hypocritical and escapist to others\" At this level, it is possible to assert your opinion as long as it is considered that you are right. Be aware of your emotionsPsychology recognizes that facts are not important, feelings are more important. You are being blamed for nothing causing you to feel upset and helpless. So, you can use the [Empty Chair Technique] to ask yourself, where did this anger come from? Is there a similar scene that happened in your memory? What was it like? What kind of feelings did you have at that time? What would you say to yourself now? You say, \"Someone will call you a stupid X again! Being irresponsible with yourself and tangling with crappy people and crappy things.\" It seems as if you have gone through similar unpleasant experiences. What kind of feelings do you have and what are your needs when faced with the discomfort and helplessness that follows accusations? What expectations do you have? On a behavioral level, there is no right or wrong in the adult world, only choices. If you want to, you can also try to open yourself up and listen to others to see if there is something you can absorb and learn from. After all, the world is not binary or black and white, and there are countless shades of gray for you to choose from. You need to be able to distinguish between your own emotions and the emotions of others. Your behavior upsets him, so he accuses you of it, which is his emotion and needs to be his own responsibility. And the helplessness and anger towards his emotions, this is your emotion. You can use [positive thinking meditation] to be constantly aware of them. Seeing is healing, and when you constantly put yourself in the midst of this anger and helplessness, observing it and seeing it without judgment, this emotion will slowly diminish and even disappear. I hope that my answer will give you something to learn from and think about. If you can.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Everyone doesn't like to be blamed and dismissed, it's a terrible feeling. It is true, as you said, that you have your own set of philosophy of existence and feel that that is the right thing to do, and yes, everyone has the right to choose their own way of doing things. At the same time, the other fact is that it's also someone's right to say what they want, after all, it's someone else's mouth that grows, and there's nothing you can do to shut him up. But in the face of such accusations and denials from others, you still have a right to take it or leave it, which is a choice you can make. Because in the human interaction is full of projection, sometimes the other person to you say some things, to you some accusation, denial, may not be entirely because of you, but his mind another person, which has to do with each person's background, interpersonal mode of upbringing. At the end of the day, those belong to the other person, and as long as you don't catch them, they won't hurt you. The problem is that when you go to catch those projections, you feel hurt, and you care so much about the other person's attitudes and evaluations that you are afraid that the other person is one of the more important people in your life. We tend to be especially concerned with the judgments that are given to us by those significant others and are deeply troubled by them. Or maybe the other person is not your significant other, but his or her comments remind you of the way significant others in your life treated you in the past, which brings up your \"trauma\". This is something to be aware of, and when you can see this, you can distinguish between the other person and yourself, and that the other person's judgment is not the real you. And it won't hurt so much. If you have a strong belief in the way you do things and feel that you are not hurting others or breaking the law, then it is okay to stick up for yourself; people, sometimes, need some courage to be hated. Of course, if you are also skeptical of their own way of doing things, then I think occasionally do some adjustments to change, is also not bad. The initiative is all in your hands, just go for it and take it! Specializing in the use of cards, dolls and other small objects for the precise presentation and transformation of cases, to share with you the knowledge and feelings related to psychology, welcome to follow me!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello subject, I feel your trouble, I share my understanding with you, I hope it will inspire you. [1] We can shield his point of view. We are generally very concerned about other people's comments, for example, you hypocrisy, you escape from reality ...... When we hear these, we depressed, very annoyed, even to the point of wanting to change other people's point of view. But we all know that we can't change others, we can only change ourselves. Cong Fei from saying that we feel blamed, it is because we internally agree with his views, so it will hurt us. You have your own reasons for how you do things, as long as they are not against the law and you stick to your choices. Just realize that everyone has different standards and you have your own judgment! You can totally block his point of view. \"You express yours, I believe mine. We all just have different points of view. When you can distinguish between someone else's point of view and your own, the anger disappears. Because if you don't agree, the denial doesn't pass.\" What Love says that is his business, what does it have to do with yourself, why should you be subjected to his projections and influences? [2] Learning to Express Aggression By learning to do this, we ourselves are in complete control of how to behave when he accuses us. Do you make him comfortable or uncomfortable. The way to make him comfortable is to agree with him, for example, if he calls you hypocritical, you say: yes, yes, yes, you're right about everything, I didn't even realize it until you said it. Just because you say that doesn't mean you're really like that. What you think is your own business, and it doesn't hurt you at all! Try it next time, then you won't feel offended. You can also choose to dislike, \"I'm just like that, so what?\" Doesn't that sound addictive! Everyone has to have the courage to be disliked, don't they? It takes a step-by-step practice, too. Because we're rarely like that in general. Whenever we feel ourselves being blamed, that's exactly when we go and get a good awareness and practice of attacking and being attacked. This is actually something that needs to be learned. Lastly, I wish you can be at ease with being yourself, and be open to other people's misunderstandings, and other people's accusations will no longer upset and helpless you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner: First of all, I think, human nature has a characteristic: when you are not as good as the other party, the other party will ignore you you; you are better than the other party, the other party will be jealous, harboring grudges. This is the weakness of human nature, is the nature of the make. Because you get the support and approval of others, and she is a failure, she wants to transfer the resentment very much to your body, so only to slam you. Having figured that out, there's no need to create guilt and doubt in yourself about other people's mistakes, and there's no way you can do what other people expect you to do. So how do you respond gracefully in the moment of accusation? To maintain a graceful, decent posture, you must not be enraged by the other person's accusations, but instead be calm, gentle and cool, although this is difficult and may cause you to be aggravated, but it is not you who is cranky in front of others. Respect each other's right and freedom to evaluate their own, do not rush to negate each other; may be his starting point is for your own good, just say too mean, and for those who make things out of thin air you do not need to go overly entangled. Don't live to be the person you hate the most, there is a saying that the warrior who slayed the dragon ended up becoming a more ferocious dragon. Just be yourself, there is no need to waste your life because of a few words from others.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5813 + }, + { + "question": "Does slitting your wrists kill you faster by cutting your left wrist, or your right?", + "description": "I feel that this world is so dirty, I am so tired of living, I can not hold out, I thought of so many ways to die, and finally felt that slitting my wrists is the easiest and most comfortable, just ...... do not know which wrist to slit to die a little faster?", + "keywords": "Mood, Depression", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello SubjectThe left wrist and the right wrist, which are certainly structurally the same, are not much different. You ask, cut the left hand or the right hand is good, I think, you are not entangled in the surface of this problem, perhaps, you really entangled is, in the end to continue to live, or give up on themselves. This also shows that you have not completely given up on yourself, and that you still have a strong desire to survive, and you are not willing to give up on yourself just like that. You mentioned the reasons why you want to leave, and you only mentioned two points, one is that you think this world is too dirty, and the other is that you are too tired. Can you elaborate on the problems you are facing? Knowing the details, maybe people can help you analyze and help you cope together. This world, there can be many, many adjectives to describe it: it's beautiful, it's wonderful, it's complicated, it's interesting, it's dirty, it's boring, it's ugly, and so on and so forth, so many, so many words can be used to describe it. The world is a polyhedron, and each side is different; it's all about, which side you see. You think the world is too dirty, and undeniably, that's true, some aspects of the world really aren't that nice. However, the world is not the only thing, can't we try to expand our scope, change the angle, to see other sides of the world? We are limited in what we can access on our own, documentaries, historical films, movies, TV shows, books, impurities, etc. can help us see more sides. If you feel too tired and worn out, take a break and relax for a while. Many things don't need to be rushed, rushed, take your time, stop and adjust yourself first. But, make sure you don't just give up on yourself. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Such a nice world and you call it dirty. I don't think you know what the world is! Why are there so few people on top of the world? Because so many people can't go to the top of the world~ To whom does the world belong? The world you see may be dirty, it's not the world's fault, it's your own fault, why do you always see the dirtiest part of the world? You say you can't control it, your own mind doesn't have the ability to look at the cleanest part of the world, or the ability to put your mind on the cleanest part!!!! I say isn't that what one wants most? Why are so many people immortalized? Didn't those people who have lived through the ages go through so much injustice and so many bad things to get to where they are now?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14706 + }, + { + "question": "What is the best way to reconcile being hurt by feelings while losing your career, friends, and feelings?", + "description": "There is a relationship of more than six years, the result was betrayed and hurt, recently because of the many repeated disputes, I find myself personality extreme polarization serious, at the same time after losing these, life metamorphosis, no temperature feelings inside, feel lost soul. What to adjust?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Emotional Regulation, Vulnerable Tears", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug, from the description can be understood, the owner recently encountered feelings career and so on many aspects of the difficulties, do not know how to adjust their own emotions emotions. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Anyone who has experienced pain and change will feel confused, feel for their own emotions can not control, this is a normal phenomenon. The owner also has the right to express their emotions, can cry, can express their emotions. At the same time, it is also recommended that the owner of this period of time to stop working, rest for a period of time, relax yourself. 2. Find some healthy and conducive to the development of their own catharsis, such as sports and reading and so on. Exercise depletes your energy, so you won't have to think about your feelings. After a period of time and then review their own in these several setbacks in the middle of any lessons can be learned, as their future life development experience. I hope it will be helpful to the owner.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17964 + }, + { + "question": "Why can't there be a third or fourth possibility for my survival mindset?", + "description": "I graduated 12 years ago, the first 6 years, keep changing jobs, the first job, the family to find, do a few months, do not adapt to their own resignation, I resigned from this job, as if the psychological do a ritual, that is, this is a good job, can contact people, but I can not adapt to, I bid farewell to a good life, would rather go to do a bland and mediocre work. But I left and I realized that it's the same everywhere I go, the same bland job mediocrity with the same exposure to people. Coupled with my own good and bad work, the six years I have been the state of my family to find a job, and then dismissed (many times because I can not adapt to the interpersonal initiative to make mischief so that people dismiss me), and then continue to stay in the workforce, contact with seven or eight kinds of industries, I take the work as a self-growth, but with my own way of growth, is to follow my heart to think about it, for example, I would like to improve their own aesthetic ability on the For example, if I wanted to improve my aesthetic ability, I went to work in a studio, and if I wanted to learn office software, I went to work as a warehouse manager. Of course, I had to drag relations to find them, but I couldn't do it on my own, and I didn't have any social experience, so I couldn't do it for long. Watershed came, 6 years later, I found a, cleaning, did 6 years, and then also slowly adapt to society, this time I want to choose to live a refined life, and want to resign to break through.", + "keywords": "Career, career management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Owner: Hi! After carefully reading your description, some feelings are similar to the calf respondent: 1, you have a lot of good resources and family support! 2, you know very well what you want and pay for action. 3, after choosing and experiencing, maybe you are still suitable for or used to leading a fine life. Of course there are some other feelings or assumptions: 1. You are a little bit uncomfortable in certain interpersonal relationships. 2. You have no confidence in yourself to do well in a good job that you found by dragging your relationship, and you lack confidence in yourself. 3. You have your family to support you, and you are more capricious, and you can be left to your own will. In response to my hypothesis, I would like to ask you a few questions and ask you to think about it: since childhood, how is your relationship with your parents? How is your relationship with your classmates, teachers and colleagues? What kind of relationship makes you uncomfortable? How do you feel in these relationships? If every time you look for a job, \"I grow in my own way, that is, according to my heart\", then why don't you do it for a long time and change it often? Apart from relationships, have you thought through what you really want? What are you sure of about yourself? How did you spend the 6 years you worked as a cleaner, which allowed you to slowly adapt to society? What did you gain from it? What kept you at ease and kept you going for 6 years? How did you get along with people in these 6 years? What feelings and experiences did you realize that were different from the work and relationships you had in the previous 6 years? \"After adapting to society, I want to choose to live a sophisticated life again, and I want to quit my job and venture out again.\" Do you still think the same way now as you did in the first 6 years when you changed jobs frequently? How do you think of yourself now? May you become what you want to be! Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I think you personally know yourself better and are smart and confident. I'm sure that growing up, your parents gave you a very good material environment. I must make it clear to you in advance that unless you choose to work hard and choose a firm goal and have the will to go on, I don't think more words will work for you, because you may understand them all, and because you have experience in society. Through your statement, I think you firstly do not like to get along with other people, and secondly, you do the work mainly because of the novelty. In the past 12 years, you have been looking for the second, third and fourth possibilities for your life. After searching for so long, you realized that you are most comfortable with people. There was just no comparison at first. That's how people grow up, you have more resources and more experience than others. But if you now realize that breadth is not as important as depth. We suggest that you start now and concentrate on sowing seeds in one industry, survive the storms and lightning, there will be a different future waiting for you. A life that has been hardened by hardship is one that is extraordinarily poignant of the good and rich present. To put it bluntly, I think you need to suffer, transformation, choice can not bring you greater satisfaction, the only tenacity, perseverance, you can see a better rainbow!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6340 + }, + { + "question": "The economic good guy can be with the wound in his heart, and the choice is confusing, to choose or not to have to choose?", + "description": "Parents look favorably on a. Finances are good and people are okay . At the moment I can't face these problems and I choose not to mention them. Once mentioned, it is like opening Pandora's box. Why don't you mention it, because you can't face it, and the more you organize it, the more messy it gets, the more you fall into it. Once I mention a., there will be the \"temptation\" of money, marriage should consider the economic argument comes to mind ... but will jump out b. b is a wound in my heart, can not touch can not be touched. I have to wait for it to heal on its own. When parents mention marriage, they mention a. When they mention a, the wound is touched. b is alive. b is alive, the whole game is lost. It's a mess. Therefore, I am afraid to mention the beginning of the marriage ... ... choose to silently pain, continue to live their own lives ~ life is full of some, b traction of the pain will fade away ~ their own will be full of energy ~ in turn, more or less worried about the age of the problem, if married to a rich, one of all the heart of the matter, including their own. You can also be well-fed and clothed. It's not a bad thing. But, b, there is no place to put it, and I'm afraid of being haunted by worries.", + "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, matchmaking", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ I can see that your choice of marriage is really very confusing, even after careful consideration, but still do not know which one to choose, as if there are many obstacles in front of you, and you can not forget their own heart of the white moonlight. I hope that my next analysis can give you a little thought! Age issue. Although I don't know how old you are now, I can understand your anxiety about your age, because many women have anxiety about their age, even women around 20 to 30 years old will hate themselves too old, so women's understanding of their age will always be a mystery. Society, on the other hand, is just as tolerant of a man's age, and perhaps it's the mindset that creates such a big difference between men's and women's tolerance of age. Marriage is not an either/or issue. Read your description \"choose economic very good a or continue to miss b\", as an outsider I can understand your tangled feelings, but I can not understand why you have to choose from these two people, marriage is not to make do, you are now in the state of mind like in the fulfillment of a task, your mentality is not like in order to make choices for their own happiness! I think you can update your outlook on marriage. I hope you can think about it more before you make a decision, try to keep yourself calm and rational. You can also talk to your close friends and let them give you ideas.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6437 + }, + { + "question": "What should I do if I can't control my emotions all the time and regret it later?", + "description": "Often, I would accuse my mom of saying or doing something wrong, and then I would regret that I hadn't imposed my will on her.", + "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotional Regulation, Emotional Intelligence", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello dear subject, I see from your title that you feel that your mom is not behaving in the way you want, that is to say, not in the way you expected, which makes you blame your mom too much, and then regret later that you shouldn't have imposed your will on others. Hindsight is also courageous, and kudos to you for starting to be aware of your behavior. Judging by your words and actions, I think you are still a child, right? Hugs. People have emotions. Emotions, they are not good or bad, only appropriate or inappropriate. It is a defense mechanism. I'm a little curious, when you were blaming your mom, what were your inner feelings? What is happening behind the behavior? Take a physical look at your deepest thoughts and feelings and ask yourself, what do you really need? Every emotion comes with the growth process, so let's explore that. When we get angry, lose our temper, blame others, and lose control of our emotions, all we need at the moment is to put the brakes on (this step is critical) and then engage in exploration, which in turn generates new emotions, a process that can be divided into three steps: 1. Confronting and engaging is the most critical, and the specific way to do this is to become aware of yourself as soon as you notice a precursor to a pattern of self-blame and to initiate abdominal breathing by taking at least three deep breaths, which is designed to activate the parasympathetic system within the body. This is to activate the parasympathetic nerves in the body, which facilitates our exploration of secondary emotions.2. Sense where the emotion is emerging, and then try to have a conversation with it: what is my emotion at this time? Where is it in the body? What does it look like? What kind of cues does it give me? What does it remind me of? ......3. Generating new emotions, the messenger of the emotion passes out the incipient emotion, so that we become more aware of its true source, mostly from the family of origin in our early childhood, and learn about ourselves from the root, accepting our primitive emotions, so as to take control of and be kind to, and accept, the incipient emotion. This process is simple to describe, but it is a long process of change, we can do in time to detect the secondary emotions, and in time to put the brakes on it, this is the biggest progress, take your time, everything is in the exploration of moving forward. I hope to see a daily progress of you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, when you find that your mom has done something that is not to your liking, you want to blame the other person, but at this time the owner doesn't seem to consider the feelings of your mom. Whether we are dealing with our parents or our own friends, we all need to consider each other's feelings. Even if they do something that upsets them, even if they are really wrong in some places. We also need to consider how to tell them, how to tell them will not make each other feel bad, will not make each other embarrassed, how to make each other happy to accept. We also need to consider before we tell the other person whether our point of view is really absolutely correct. Is the other person's behavior really wrong? If the owner is really sure that he or she is absolutely right, and not just his or her own personal wishes and style of behavior, then think about how to say these words in an appropriate way.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12050 + }, + { + "question": "12 years old girl, why I can't help crying every night for the last 6 months?", + "description": "My grades have always been good, and I am well liked, teachers, classmates and parents all quite like me. However, in the past six months, I always make mistakes in small things, and I am especially prone to insomnia. And I often have nightmares at night, and when I wake up, I mix my dreams with reality. When riding in the car, I would unconsciously visualize myself getting into a car accident, when sleeping, I would visualize my parents getting killed, and even when shopping, I would visualize myself getting hit... At the same time, I resisted going to school every day, fearing that I would get into trouble again. When I saw some of my classmates just after the epidemic resumed, I would even get sick to my stomach. I'm bisexual, but everyone around me thinks homosexuality is a disease. My parents thought I was an Internet addict. Life is a mess and sometimes I feel like I'd be relieved if I died. I self-harmed once and was scolded back by my mom, she and my dad always read my diary and chat logs and are very controlling. I always cry secretly at night now, I don't dare to raise my voice for fear of being scolded for being pretentious. But I'm not sure why I'm crying. Do I have a psychological problem?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Vulnerability to Tears", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Heartfelt hugs to the subject, I can feel your pain right now through your description. To summarize, you have symptoms such as low mood (easy to cry), insomnia, sense of unreality, self-harming behavior and suicidal thoughts. Since I'm not a psychiatrist, I can't give you a medical diagnosis based on words alone, but based on the above symptoms, I would suggest that you seek professional help after communicating with your parents. Generally speaking, you can seek out the psychiatry department of a local general hospital or a local mental health center. As to whether it is through medication or psychotherapy, you can wait for the doctor to determine the diagnosis before deciding. As a matter of fact, during my internship in the hospital, I have seen many teenagers similar to the subject's situation. Perhaps because they are in the early stages of puberty, both the body hormone level and the degree of mentalization, in fact, are developing rapidly, coupled with the fact that this period of time may also have to face interpersonal and academic pressures, once the family parents are unable to give good support, they will often fall into a similar predicament. Therefore, it is necessary to communicate with your parents so that they can understand the current situation of your pain. On the other hand, I have also seen many teenagers successfully cross this hurdle, recover their health and complete their studies. The key is early detection and early intervention. Here I will not introduce more techniques (you can contact me again if you need), but the most important thing is to receive a more authoritative diagnosis before making any plans.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 26, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 26, + "end": 66, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 66, + "end": 122, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 122, + "end": 187, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 187, + "end": 311, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 311, + "end": 340, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 340, + "end": 377, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 377, + "end": 389, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 389, + "end": 401, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 401, + "end": 439, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 7390 + }, + { + "question": "How do you make observations about your self when you want to see yourself from a third perspective?", + "description": "I've always thought I was very self-absorbed because I've always done what I wanted to do and didn't care much about what other people thought, being rather off the beaten path. I've also always thought I knew myself well, but something happened recently that made me realize that I don't actually know my true self. I feel like an oddball, I have always thought of myself as self-conscious and usually acted very self-conscious, but in fact I am the kind of person who has very little self-awareness, I am especially prone to imitate the behavior and speech patterns of the people around me, it's the kind of thing that I don't do without thinking about it, which is strange for me to see in myself. At first I thought that as long as I kept myself at a distance from people I wouldn't be influenced, but I actually still have trouble getting away from being influenced by people, especially people I have a relatively good relationship with, and as long as they have certain expectations I will unconsciously play a role in front of them. I'm getting more and more confused about what kind of person I really am, I want to see myself from a third perspective, what do I need to do?", + "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi there~ It is always hard to see yourself when you are in authority, so self-observation is mentioned to see yourself and recognize yourself again. But, knowing yourself is even harder than knowing others. Knowing yourself is a very long process, and it requires more conversations with yourself and more awareness. In this moment, you realize that you don't know your true self, you start to get confused, you start to feel yourself, you start to disapprove of yourself. But have you ever thought about the fact that this is also a part of your truth and a way for you to recognize yourself? By describing it, you realize that there is something wrong with you at this moment, you want to change, you want to make observations about your self to recognize your true self. There's nothing wrong with that, except that I want you to understand that one of the principles of self-observation is to observe yourself without judgment. Observe yourself without judgment because once the judgment starts, we focus on our own behavior to blame ourselves and instead lose/ignore the self. Observing without judgment is not easy, but it can be practiced slowly to get closer to that kind of state ~ \u25b2 Review some recent events, what was your emotional state like and feel it \u25b2 Accept yourself (including your emotions) without rejecting the existence of bad emotions, but it doesn't mean agreeing with the existence of bad emotions. Observe without judgment, let your attention stay steadily on the sensations in your body, relax your body instead of running with your emotions (you can try meditation/meditation to help you focus on your body instead of your emotions) Be honest with yourself \u25b2 See the inner conflict of your self truthfully without self-deception and judgment, be honest with yourself about your situation no matter how humiliating it may be \u25b2 You can try to keep a [Finding Your Self - Awareness Diary You can also look for books on \"self-observation\" to find your answer. I hope this helps. Good morning, good afternoon, good night.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Good afternoon, questioner! It is fortunate to meet in the question on this summer afternoon, and the seeming contradiction from being very much oneself, to not being able to find oneself, has its own internal logic. I'm not sure of the age of the questioner, but the questioner's description of being self-absorbed and not caring about what others think is most likely a second growth spurt, while the questioner's current confusion signals a third growth spurt to come. That is, the beginning of the first can not distinguish between self and others, to the formation of independent, seemingly rebellious surface but actually want to break free and marked out of the self, and then to realize that the self and others must be established through a link to achieve the meaning of life. In this process, in fact, the subject has been growing, just a newer understanding of the self. First of all, if you want to observe your self from a third perspective, talking to other people is one of the external means, and there is another way, which is similar to the form of internal observation, where you can really be aware of your own consciousness, and observe the concept of \"I\", which consists of all kinds of concepts of your own, just as the questioner himself feels, your behaviors and speeches, which are seemingly not influenced by the outside world, are actually the result of your childhood, which is the result of a long history. As the questioner himself feels, your behavior and speech seem to be free from external influences, but in fact, they are all \"imitated\" from childhood to adulthood. Of course, from Bandura's ternary interaction theory (personal cognition, environment, behavior), we fully realize the importance of self-perception model, the same external environment, different perception will cause different behavior. What you can really learn and change subsequently may be this cognitive part. Above, discuss and learn together, I hope to be inspired and helpful. Thank you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner, I understand your desire to see yourself from a third perspective. I myself had a gap in my self-awareness. The most common thing my friends said to me during that time was \"you seem to be living in your own world, I do what I do\" and then I started to analyze myself. The most useful thing I tried was to 'keep a diary'. I would write down my behavior and mentality of the day, and then \"re-read\" it half a month later. By then, I was able to separate myself from the person I was at that time, and when I read it again, I would find a true and honest view of myself. At this time, I am my own \"third-party perspective\". Another thing is that \"remembering the events of the day before going to bed\" is also the easiest time to become a third perspective! And \"playing a role\" may not be the \"mask\" that you think it is, because you are imitating subconsciously, which is just a kind of \"learning\" ability of human beings. Everyone has something beautiful to aspire to. The role of the idol is to guide people to learn one of their shining points, is not it? Such a self is also their own aca, so do not be too anxious or resistance, and do not have to produce self-doubt. Every person is unique, and you have your own personality, but you may not be the one in charge. \"Talk to your friends more often. When you talk to them, you can politely guide them to tell you what they think of you. If they are friends that you know well enough to talk about everything, then you can be frank and direct your thoughts. The people who know you best in the world may not be your parents, but they must be your friends of the same age who know you well, as well as yourself, who is outside the situation. It takes courage to stay true to oneself, and it is also a great courage to analyze oneself. I wish you the best of luck in finding your own self and developing it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Did you know that people who are good imitators are smart? Because learning comes from imitation. When you were born, the first words you said to your mom and dad, you learned them by imitating your parents' pronunciation and mouth shape. Those people around you that you mimic must also be subconsciously perceived by you as, perhaps, learnable strengths. Ego is one of the character traits, and so is being a good imitator. It's normal to be influenced by your interactions with people because you can't tell if they are right or not yet, you need to experience it and come to your own conclusions. It's okay to fulfill other people's expectations, but what you need to be aware of is whether or not you're capable of fulfilling those expectations? Are you unwilling? Are you pleasing? When you are not able to satisfy, when you are unwilling to satisfy, and when you are trying to please, stop for a moment and think, what is it that you want to gain behind your satisfaction? And why do you want it? This is to come from the perspective of the spectator, to observe yourself, to recognize yourself. Recognizing and discovering yourself is a long and continuous process, long in each moment you do not know yourself appears, continuous in one after another pieces of integration into the you. There's no need to rush into thinking about how you are right now, otherwise how boring it would be to spend the rest of your days without new discoveries. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug. As the saying goes, the near Zhu is red, the near ink is black. This saying may not be appropriate for the owner, but it is inspiring: human beings are social animals, and there is no shortage of friendships and interactions, so it is very normal for different behavioral styles to collide and influence each other. From the owner's description, I feel the owner's anxiety, mainly because the owner perceives that his own behavioral pattern is easily influenced by his intimate partners, and even play roles to meet other people's expectations, which may be due to the anxiety about self-identity in childhood, and slowly acquired the habit of playing such roles. The owner does not have to worry, the reality of appropriate play is conducive to interpersonal relationships, but because everyone's lifestyle is different, we can not do everything to achieve no conflict with others, appropriate rejection is also a kind of ability. Suggest that the owner pay more attention to social hotspots, read the classics, watch the network video, in the constant collision of thinking in the continuous formation of their own views, to be an opinionated and judgmental people, in the big event to make their own choice without regret.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Well, feel your confusion and shock. The issue of self-identity and self-actualization is one that everyone encounters. But I would be a bit worried: would one want to see oneself from a third point of view, and also be influenced by one's own experiences and expectations, by one's own filters? And isn't this desire to be on your own repeating the pattern of \"I do what I do, I see what I think, I observe what I see, I understand what I understand\"? Get a third party to look at it. See a counselor.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14518 + }, + { + "question": "Once you get on the road, you look like a different person, you have road rage, what should I do?", + "description": "Why do people have road rage? Even people who usually have a good personality are like a different person when they get on the road", + "keywords": "Behavior, violence, control", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there ~ James Mole, a neuroscientist at the University of London, says that the link between time and emotion is a complex process, much of which relies on expectations. If we had expected something to take time, then we can still accept it. Frustration is usually the result of expectations being violated. So when we are on the road and suddenly encounter something that makes us have to wait, then that frustration can make us feel very angry. The time wasted in this kind of procrastination will be perceived as undeserved. We'll feel like we have to wait a little longer when we could have gotten there sooner. There are some tips - it's really important to realize that we will inevitably encounter all sorts of problems on the road, such as traffic jams ah, or occasional road repairs and so on. When we take these factors into consideration, we can increase our travel time a little so that we won't be in a hurry when we encounter problems. We should not think that I should pass a certain section of the road very smoothly. Because the unexpected is always unimaginable, we have to be mentally prepared for it. When we really have to encounter those that we have to wait for, such as a traffic jam, we should also try to calm ourselves as much as possible, and we have to realize that being angry doesn't change anything about the reality, it doesn't help. The world is so beautiful and I'm so grumpy, that's not good, that's not good. Good luck ~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6654 + }, + { + "question": "What about academics, relationships, and how my deskmates sometimes get on my nerves?", + "description": "I'm in my senior year of high school, and my deskmate is working hard, but I don't feel like she's as smart as I am, and she got 11th in her class this time around, compared to my 46. Hits hard, for me. She and I are good friends, but I feel like she's very interest-oriented, to me too, which makes me dislike it, and it feels like she tells me things a lot of which I don't really understand, and although I listen quite attentively, her look of I'm right, I know a lot makes me kinda upset, and I don't want to pay attention to her sometimes, but I'm softened up again because of her cute looks... ...Yesterday she asked me if I had a tutor's WeChat, I said yes, she said give me it, I don't want to give it to her but I don't know how to reject it, then I said that the teacher is very busy and I guess I don't have time to give you a lesson, and she said that you give it to me on the line. ...... I'm really upset, why don't you lend me a tutor, but I want to The teacher (a Xiamen University, very powerful) microblogging to her, or my own resources! She also wants to be so righteous! It's so annoying.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends, housemates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "\u203bThe most painful mode of relationship between people is comparing each other, and right now your relationship with the other person is in such a state. You think the other person is not as smart as you, but works hard. He ranked 11th in this exam, but you only ranked 46th. He is not willing to lend you tutoring books, but asks you for your tutor for your tutoring class. Although you say that you two have a good relationship with each other, you can tell from this that you are actually comparing yourselves to each other, or you can say that you are being more serious. I believe you must be very smart, but why are you smart enough to have tested each other? Is there a quality in the other person that you need to learn? Are you willing to let go of your preconceived notions and take the initiative to learn from each other? Contrast and disparity can breed envy, but it can also generate endless motivation. Maybe the other person has merit, but that's human nature, everyone does, it's just that some people are willing to show it some people keep it suppressed. Focus and energize yourself on your studies, try to improve your academic performance and do what you need to do, and maybe the psyche won't be so upset!", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 39, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 39, + "end": 103, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 103, + "end": 152, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 152, + "end": 289, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 289, + "end": 339, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Owner, unapologetically, I see more of yourself upsetting you! \"My deskmate works hard and I feel like she's not as smart as me, she got 11th in her class this time and I 46.\" Maybe you feel that you, being smart, should have gotten a better rank than your not-so-smart deskmate, when in actuality it's the complete opposite, so how can that make you feel good? What happens if you don't make that presupposition? \"She's good friends with me, but I feel like she's big on benefits, and to me too, and that puts me off.\" Maybe you think that she looks at benefits in front of other people, but not in front of you, because you're good friends, but the truth is, \"To me too! \". How does that make you cool? What happens if you don't make that presumption? \"I feel like she's telling me things that I don't really understand, and even though I'm listening to her carefully, she's got that look on her face that says I'm right about everything, and I know a lot,\" which seems to back up \"I feel like she's not as smart as I am,\" so how does that make you feel good? The above has already made you very upset, and the table even \"still do not know the fun\", but also in the \"wound\" salt --- to find a very powerful teacher to make up for the lesson, this is not \"intentionally\" looking for trouble? You have unconsciously projected your own self-made \"upset\" onto your desk, and your desk does not recognize your projection, so you are still looking for a \"good friend\" to ask for the tutor's contact information. Maybe you also feel that you think the \"reason, basis\" can not be brought to the table \"justified\" to refuse the other party's request, the conflict between the two led to you \"very annoying! Since it is a good friend, it is brave to express yourself truthfully, like your table, you can do \"do not borrow my tutorials\", although I do not quite know his reasons for not borrowing your tutorials, how to make you upset. I hope that my \"upset\" reply will help you to release your \"upset\", good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8235 + }, + { + "question": "What's with this state of being like a different person at night?", + "description": "Whenever the night is easy to be vulnerable and sensitive, will think back to the people and things they have contacted today, and then imagine that they are talking about me not doing well enough or criticizing me, will also think of tomorrow has not yet been done, have made arrangements, but will be afraid and keep thinking forget about it or really annoyed, will be able to imagine that tomorrow when faced with that scenario, someone looks at me strange eyes or my work has gone wrong. The whole person is just particularly bereft and incompetent, but it's only at night, during the day it's still normal (maybe just not as bad), what's going on with this state and what can I do about it?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Everyone is an actor in his own life, daylight is also like a spotlight, a go out, as if on the stage of life, we always put the audience want to see a scene presented, so passionate, bright and shiny. And the night is to remove the makeup deflated real self, all the exhaustion, negative slack exposed. During the day to hold out hard, the night is more decadent. Because of the daytime noisy body can not help, only quiet down, only have time to do back to their own. It's like being used to the beauty camera and not being able to face yourself in the mirror. Once there is a person who kept taking a variety of different certificates, the reason is that they can not face the idle self ...... so some people buy buy buy, some people eat eat eat, for fear of stopping, quiet to hear the panic of their heartbeat ...... then face the real self, instead of pretending to be their own! Not bad.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 424 + }, + { + "question": "Meet your boyfriend who has already taken wedding pictures and is chatting with a high school friend in the middle of the night?", + "description": "Just after the wedding photos on the fourth day was caught and high school classmates in the middle of the night flirtation, was arrested after leaving behind the soon to be married you first time to chat in the high school classmates in the first time to send a cake to apologize, and then behind your back but also continued to contact more than twenty days, the second time was caught just a sentence of their own stupidity, there is no other any account. At your insistence only to call and high school classmates face to face contact said a \"bitch heartless playboy righteousness, don't come to harassment in the future,\" this is what psychological?", + "keywords": "Relationships, cheating, fights, relationship management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Psychological work is done with the person in front of you. The counselor pays more attention to the present - the subject in front of him, your feelings and psychology than to the third person who is not present. What do you think about this behavior of your boyfriend, and how do you feel about it; when you first found out about your boyfriend's behavior, how did you feel and what did you do; and how did you feel when your boyfriend reacted. From the description, I can vaguely feel the subject's aggression and gradually expanding anger, as well as the boyfriend's gradual retreat. After reflecting and perceiving ourselves, perhaps we can try to understand the boyfriend's behavior and feelings with similar questions as before. Although the subject emphasized that \"at my insistence\", but the boyfriend finally obeyed the subject's insistence, and from the beginning of the \"left behind\" to \"concealment\" to change. Looking at it from a different perspective, perhaps this conflict is an opportunity to reflect on your interaction patterns and communication styles, and handling it appropriately can help you cope with various challenges that may arise in the future. I hope this helps. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your words, I do feel angry and puzzled about what your boyfriend did, did it make you feel the experience and feeling of being belittled and not caring enough? I guess you want to know the psychology of your boyfriend's doing this, actually want to know your own position and weight in the heart of your boyfriend. I would wonder what your experience is with your boyfriend and what happened between you that made him do this. Can you discuss and communicate about this with your boyfriend in a calm manner? If you can, maybe you'll find the answers you're looking for. Give it a try! Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1762 + }, + { + "question": "How do you learn to love yourself? What changes should be made in mindset and behavior?", + "description": "Saying that you love yourself, but still internally being upset with yourself and feeling like you don't deserve any of the good things you have. What I already have isn't good, and a lot of it is just going to be. What should I do to truly love myself? What changes should be made in mindset and behavior?", + "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, how to learn to love yourself, as you said, \"you say you love yourself, but still inside you are very dissatisfied with yourself\" in fact, many people are like this. How can we really love ourselves? The first thing to do is to look at what aspects of the inner dissatisfaction of their own, listen to these voices, who is dissatisfied with these aspects, to understand the cause to know how to solve. Usually more positive hints to yourself, or hug yourself, digging out the advantages of their own body, to meet their own inner small desire. If you can't love yourself and are unhappy with yourself, we recommend scheduling a counseling session to discuss the reasons. I wish you all the best!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 10245 + }, + { + "question": "I'm a sophomore female, and I always like to peek at what other people are doing.", + "description": "I'm a girl, sophomore in college, multiple dorm rooms. Because I'm from the countryside, I feel a bit inferior. My roommates are from both first-tier and second-tier cities, and I feel that they are all glamorous, and I alone am the ugly duckling. I often like to peek at their clothes, make-up, and observe their behavior, but it seems that it is not for imitation, just like peeking. When they are not in the dormitory, I will go to see what kind of cosmetics they use, and then go to Taobao to search for myself, I feel so expensive ah. They sometimes find out that I'm peeking, and even though they don't say anything, I feel bad about it, but I can't help it. Is this also a psychological problem? Is it because I have low self-esteem that I keep peeking at others? I hope others can help me and not blame me first.", + "keywords": "Behavioral, obsessive-compulsive, hypochondriac, confused", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hugging little Konai, suddenly came to the big city, there must be a lot of discomfort, especially around the roommates, all have their own life and circle, and they seem to have been unable to melt into, so we often peek at others, perhaps want to become real friends with them! In fact, we really do not need to inferiority complex, because we are through their own efforts to come to this school, although from the living conditions as well as other aspects of the conditions we have others so good, but we and they stood on a platform, from this point can be seen, we do not think so bad. And think about it from another perspective, if the time around and their own conditions are the same, to be honest, they do not necessarily have us good, just innate conditions are we can not decide, but the efforts of the latter can change our life, so the subject should not be discouraged, after all, our life has just begun. Just went to college when the housemates around the family conditions are better than me, spend money when I am always meticulous, so especially envious of the housemates around the housemates have such a good condition, but think back to their parents, in fact, they have tried their best, if there is no parental support, perhaps I can not even now this step, so I silently tell myself in my heart, I'm not worse than others, and I will also through the I will prove myself through my own efforts. Other people have we do not have to envy, because we also have other people do not have things, so sometimes we have to learn to look at things dialectically, we can put our minds on how to improve their own personal ability, such as taking a first-class scholarship every year, extracurricular time you can look for some opportunities to exercise their own, the ugly duckling in the day before the white swan does not know that they are a small swan, work together! The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20252 + }, + { + "question": "What should I do if I always have trouble controlling my emotions and am not good at people?", + "description": "I am a prospective high school student. A year and a half ago, I decided to transfer to another school because of cold violence from my classmates. The homeroom teacher took special care of me after the transfer, and my new roommates are all one year older than me and usually take care of me. Last summer, my roommates graduated and my homeroom teacher was transferred. I moved into my classmate's dormitory, and although I was able to get to know my classmates better, I found that as I got to know them better, I began to avoid people and things that I didn't like. Then I dragged these emotional baggage until graduation. I played normally in the midterm and went to a very good high school in the city, but suddenly I received a lot of ill will from my classmates around me, for example, I am just a blind cat who bumped into a dead rat, or sneering at me and wanting to break off friendship with me, and so on. Last night I decided to purge some of my friends and classmates with whom I have little to no contact and an average relationship. After sending a \"please delete each other, thank you\" to a girl I barely communicate with, she immediately insulted me and said \"I've been wanting to delete you for a long time.\" She then put me up on her space with the text, \"** is **, good exams means you're arrogant, right? [Poor]\" (the truth is even worse than these) This sentence made my mood swings were very big, and it was difficult to sleep for a night. I told myself that maybe I shouldn't be depressed, but it was hard to control my emotions.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal,Communication,Housemates,Classmates,Social Software", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "First of all, I want to give the owner a hug ah ~ by people cold violence, bad language, the feeling must be bad and aggrieved, right. I can only do is to give you a little help first of all, the owner because in the last school was the end of the cold violence and thus transferred to the current school, and again to be the end of the cold violence, the owner has thought about is not part of their own reasons to cause it. After all, people do not get along with each other only one-sided reasons. From the title can be seen, the owner knows that he is difficult to control emotions, not good at interpersonal relationships, so ah, the owner should start from learning to control emotions ah, I do not know if the owner has heard of a father in order to change the bad temper of the little boy, let him every time he lost his temper in the board on the story of a nail, a long time, the board was full of nails, the father let him pull down the nails, and the result of the marks but never disappear, which shows that every time you can't control your emotions the psychological damage to others can't be erased. Therefore, the owner should learn to control their emotions ah ~ transferred to the new campus, the homeroom teacher is very care of you, your roommate is also very care of you, but the face of their own with a long time in the same classmates find it difficult to get along with each other, everyone is the strengths and weaknesses of the pay is also a two-way street, the owner of the loathing of some of those who do not like the people and things, for others, this is not a kind of cold violence, so ah, the owner of the building, even if you do not like some people or things, you should not be Some people or things, should not easily reveal the disgusting behavior, try not to pay attention to it ~ Finally, the relationship between people is to get along with the exchange of ideas, the owner of a person and then hate a person is not to hate a person's all it must be a feature of the person, so should not be from point to point to negate a person ah try to get along with a little bit, may also gain a good friend, after all, interpersonal relationship is a lifetime to do a good job. Relationships are a lifetime of good things, take your time ~ believe the owner ~, you also have to believe in yourself ah ~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The cold violence of your classmates must have affected you to a certain extent, so your family changed schools for you, is that right? The homeroom teacher took special care of you because your family told you to, right? Your new roommate is one year older than you and usually takes good care of you, is that also a special arrangement? In this case, it seemed like a good adjustment. When it came time to go back to your own grade, did you notice? The classmates are still the same as in the past, except, a few of them live with you now. Is that the difference? So what happened that made you start to feel disliked about some people and things? Was it the people in the dormitory, or the rest of the class? The fact that you couldn't let go of your emotions because you didn't like some people or things, but you still played normally and got into a good high school, shows that your ability to resist interference is still very good, right? When the midterm results were released, you received malice from your classmates. I am curious how this malice reached you? And which part of these classmates with malice? The ones who are close, the ones who are average, the ones who don't usually hang out? By the fact that you are trying to remove barely-connected friends and average-connected classmates later on, it would seem that the malice is coming from people who are usually very average-connected, yes? You don't think that even if there is malice coming from them, aren't these just passers-by? Why do you care so much about the comments of these people? Generally speaking, when we delete some people, we don't need to notify the other party, just delete or pull black. But the way you handle it is: please delete each other, thank you! It sounds like you are polite, but have you ever thought that usually the relationship is not good, is no emotional basis, originally, you want to pull the black you pull the black, you also asked me to do the same, I will be in the heart of the matter: what are you asking me? Then if I am an average or poor student, I may think: it is just a better high school, is it necessary to be so draggy? And I might even say: there's something wrong with that! Do you understand? It's possible that because of the way you handled the situation, you hurt a classmate that you had no intention of hurting, so it's really kind of unfair that you expect others to be rational in this situation. Right now, you're having a lot of mood swings, and it's hard to sleep, what's going through your mind? Do you feel that these people are bad and unreasonable, or do you feel that you have been hurt by others once again? I apologize to you if what I said above upset you, and I would probably prefer that you feel your own feelings as well as the feelings of others. Would you have less expectations or resentment towards others if you also realized that there was something wrong with what you did? In fact, in the process of growing up, none of us can guarantee that what we say or do is right, but as we grow up, we will gradually adjust, that is, we will consider what is good for us as well as what is good for others. So if you can't figure it out on your own for a while, just allow yourself to be like that in the moment, and allow yourself to slowly come to these realizations. The road ahead is still long, there are still three years of high school life, manage their emotions, that is, do not need to condescend to themselves, do not need to deliberately please others, if you want to can go to help others, you can also choose not to help. But you have to understand that when you choose a certain attitude, others can treat you with the same attitude. So what kind of life we need, we need to create. Above, if there is anything you don't understand, we can continue the discussion.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The subject Hello to give you a warm hug for the subject of the encounter some heartache at the same time or some confusion, in the previous school by classmates cold violence, have analyzed why? The same dormitory classmates by the side of the cold violence or? The subject's family get along mode and what is it like? Changing schools to a new environment is indeed a way to solve the problem, and then meet a caring class teacher, take care of your good roommate. By being taken care of and looked after, the emotions generated by the previous cold violence were also dissolved, right? After that, you were transferred to the dormitory of the same class, and although you could get to know your classmates more deeply, you also found that as you got to know everyone better, you began to avoid people and things that you didn't like. The subject of this description, I see a towering, contempt for all the image, you more disdain and peer relationships, perhaps your ability to be better than some of your peers, in the usual interactions also presents this sense of superiority, so in your childish age, so by the side of the friends do not feel close, and gradually away from the long time, the emergence of cold violence. By contrast, you prefer to get along with capable people or people stronger than you, also shows that you have a strong, winning heart, this is not wrong, but can not think to say that to \"conquer, leadership\" of their peers, you can refuse to socialize, away from feeling inferior to their own, but in fact, you send each other to delete the message, the friend received the mood is quite bad, right? But in fact, you sent a message of mutual deletion, the friend received the mood is also quite bad, right, so she vented out hanging friend circle. It's understandable, but don't be too concerned, everyone has their own way of behavior, just like you. Just be yourself and don't think too much about anything else, unless you want to make a change. May all be well!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12699 + }, + { + "question": "How do you fit in better and get closer when you have few friends and always want to keep your distance?", + "description": "I've had very few friends over the years of school, one or two that I've been with regularly. But there doesn't seem to be the kind where I care about her a lot and we hardly talk about our vulnerable and hurt places. I think it has something to do with me, I don't talk about anything, I just digest it alone, and I always try to act like I'm strong, perfect, sweet, and positive in front of outsiders. This has something to do with my family when I was small, my parents had a bad relationship when I was a child, the family atmosphere is tense, so I will be a good boy, study well, do not eat or wear, there are no difficulties will not talk to them, there is also a distance from them, right, they are only responsible for my food and clothing to go home and whatnot, the communication is relatively small. Classmates to buy me something, I thought I must buy him, not simply want to send, just do not want to owe him, would rather he owed me than I owe him. Don't want to accept others to help, I don't know why, habitual, is always want to keep a distance, do things according to my own rhythm. I don't like it when my friends bother me with small things, because that gives me the feeling of being a mother for so many years. You do something small, scrub a bowl or something and he has to be around to point out how you do it first and then how. I would like to ask how to change some of that and fit in better?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Friends, Empathy", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "A pleasing, low self-worth personality was developed in your family of origin. In order not to let your parents fight it, you are always very hard and careful, do not dare to make demands, do not dare to expect to get the love of others, these emotions have been repressed deep inside, it has developed into your current psychological patterns. Find a counselor or myself? Seek channeling support, expose these emotions, learn how to love yourself, you are qualified to live the life you want.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12503 + }, + { + "question": "What if my mom hates and hates me and never really approved of me?", + "description": "Mom never really acknowledged me, always with ? such a look at me, never even kissed or hugged me since I can remember. Never interacted intimately. Didn't like to see me acting better than her, would secretly compare my appearance with me, sarcastically mocking me for being short and skinny. Used to mock me for being fat when I was fat. Instigated and sabotaged when she saw who I was close to. When I showed vulnerability in front of her for the first time, she accepted it first, then the next day she was happy and tried to lead me and dislike me. Whenever I try to talk to her and reason with her, she rages and even breaks down. Refuses to communicate. Never talks to me mentally. Always hit me and scolded me as a child to force me to admit I was wrong, which I didn't. Then it was all about coldness, isolation, ignoring me. Completely as invisible, and even the girl things are not taught, the first underwear classmates and I said, the first underwear with me to buy. I was depressed, sick and did not show any anxiety, heartache. But the psychological reluctance it, and will cook for me. When I was a child, when my life was in danger, she showed a lot of tension and pain, but after that, she ignored me. I don't understand. What kind of feelings does she have for me? Why is she treating me like this? I can't feel her love, I'm in pain, depressed and don't know what to do?", + "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication, Family Control", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello subject! Sending you a warm hug! I can feel your pain! The closest person, the one you want to cling to the most, is not giving you the warmth, care and love you want! Seeing you and your mother in this state reminds me of the Oedipus Complex, which is a competitive and antagonistic relationship between you and your mom. This is usually caused mostly by the fact that Dad cares for you to the exclusion of Mom's love and care. It is then very easy for mom to become competitive with you in order to gain access to dad's love and care for her. If this is the case, you can try to understand mom! In fact, mom has always had love for you. Look: \"When I showed my vulnerability to her for the first time, she accepted it and was happy the next day.\" As long as you don't \"threaten\" her, she can accept you. \"When I was little, I was always beaten and scolded to force me to admit my faults, but I didn't\". This \"I didn't\" is very crucial, and it shows that you won't give in and admit your faults just because your mother beat and scolded you, which may be the reason why your mother doesn't get close to you, and dislikes you. \"When I was a child, when my life was in danger, she was very nervous and distressed\" Mom's love for you is from the bottom of her heart, how can she inspire this kind of love? From your description, it seems that you want to change your situation and get rid of your pain. Then, please try to understand your mother first, not a matter of principle, how she said you do, in other words, to be a good obedient child, to lift the mother and your sense of competition, so as to stimulate her love, so that her original love for your feelings can be expressed smoothly! The above personal advice is for your reference! Blessings to you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "#Mom never really recognized me, always with ? She never really recognized me, always looked at me like that, never even kissed or hugged me for as long as I can remember. Never interacted intimately #She may have a weak or inadequate sense of intimacy, and you're assuming that every mom \"should\" know how to love her child, but the truth is that many moms don't know how to love their children. If you've sensed that she doesn't know how to love, then you've chosen to expect it from her, and naturally you've been disappointed in proportion. #Doesn't like to see me acting like I'm better than her, will secretly compare my appearance with me, sarcastically mocking me for being short and skinny. Mocked me for being fat when I used to be fat. Instigated and sabotaged when she saw who I was close to. When I showed vulnerability in front of her for the first time, she accepted it first, then the next day she was happy and tried to lead me and dislike me. Whenever I try to talk to her and reason with her, she rages and even breaks down. #Purely from her behavior, she's trying to weaken your ability to raise dependence on her by hitting you. Why is she trying to weaken the ability to be able to make you dependent on her all the time? Are your parents on bad terms? Does she have an income? #I'm sorry, another thing I don't understand is why does she care if I listen or not? Even thinks that if I don't listen, I don't love her. #She's insecure, she thinks she can't be secure except if you listen. Your dad is away for years, but your dad cares about you, right? Assuming she controls you, isn't that kind of indirectly maintaining a relationship with your dad? #I can't feel her love, am miserable, depressed and don't know what to do? #So why should you feel her love? If she doesn't know what love is, then you can get it from somewhere else, right? You're assuming that because she gave birth to you, she has to know how to love you? And you're assuming that there's only one way to get love. And assuming that because you love her, she has to love you, which is the real source of your distress. But in reality, you love her and she can still choose not to love you, which is her right. So she's like that, do you still love her? If so, why don't you find out what she's been through in the past, what happened between her and your dad, and why she doesn't know how to \"love\" anymore? Is it natural or developed later? Understanding this will help you understand her behavior. If you need to communicate further, you can leave a message or private message.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1539 + }, + { + "question": "20 female with ptsd post traumatic stress disorder, can't see a doctor what to do?", + "description": "I got ptsd from cockroaches. When I was a kid I wasn't afraid of cockroaches and had the nerve to hit them. But when I was about 15 years old, I woke up one morning and found cockroaches lying on my forehead, and then the cockroaches crawled along my whole body. Since then, I would scream loudly, have weak legs and break out in a cold sweat at the sight of a cockroach, and wake up several times a day in the middle of the night just to see if there were any cockroaches under the mosquito net or in my bed. The older I got, the worse it got. It has been going on for about 5 years now. My family has become estranged from me because of this. They find my screaming scary and think I'll get better if I have more contact with cockroaches. I want to go to the doctor, but they won't allow me to go to the doctor and are withholding my ID and health insurance card.", + "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner ah, give you a warm hug ~ for such a situation, has seriously affected your daily life, because the cockroaches may be everywhere, their idea is that you see more cockroaches on the good, in fact, this is a treatment, exposure to your fear of the environment, may allow you to overcome the fear, but this is also through the guidance of a professional psychiatrist can only be carried out. For your family members, they may not know too much about the definition of PTSD, the harm it brings, and so on, and it may be that from their point of view, it is the fear of something, or even they may think you are pretentious. Then it is very important to give them scientific knowledge, I also talk to them about what is stress disorder, what are the effects of Ptsd, and so on. After they can have some basic understanding, then express to them that you need to seek professional psychiatrist's help, and I am sure they will agree to your request. Good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20031 + }, + { + "question": "A personality signature may expose internal projections, so how do you counter-project?", + "description": "Our personality signatures may reveal our inner projections, so what can we write a sentence that reveals nothing about us?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Adaptation, Social Software", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi, this is a very interesting (and a bit overthought, oh) question. Personality signatures do expose internal projections and you can tell a lot from your personality signature. Whether it's a signature you identify with or not - it draws conclusions (exposes you). In fact, \"revealing\" is a given. If the other person isn't interested in you, or doesn't have the time (interest) to get to know you (and isn't that smart), then you'll never be \"exposed\". Why is \"exposure\" a given? Let's assume for a moment that I am the one who will make you feel exposed. If your signature doesn't match your personality, then I can conclude that you're a cautious person who worries a lot (that's the message I'm getting). \"I\" will choose to be defensive and not even engage with you until I see you clearly (contrasting trait). If you then reverse according to this trait, and even your behavioral patterns become the same as your hated signature, then you run the risk of losing yourself, of not being yourself any more, which is risky (and I've already realized this trait, so I can once again conclude from this, that you're not really you, that you're pretending to be you, but this is not really related to \"me\") \" doesn't have anything to do with it, I realize that you are insecure and so will choose to respect that, smother it, or I won't get to know you at all). This might even be evaluated as - on the surface. If your personality signature matches who you are as a person, then I can draw more conclusions - \"frank, likes to express himself\" \"more middle class, likes to fantasize\" \"More flamboyant and controlling\" \"Likes negativity, more introverted\" \"Positive and upbeat\" and so on. Being informed is kind of a given, but not everyone is a psychologist and not all psychologists study this stuff. You know, it's a lot of work to get to know people easily. If there is someone in the world who really wants to get to know you, who desires to know you, then please treat the other person with gentleness - the other person has at least put a lot of effort into you. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16741 + }, + { + "question": "Junior in high school, often nervous, suspecting that something is wrong with my psyche what should I do?", + "description": "After entering the third year of junior high school, the mood most of the time is a little low, the mood is very unstable, suspect that I have psychological problems, so people around me have no intention of mentioning what the name of the disease, death, mental illness and so on will be very nervous, and then my grades are quite good, recently suspected that their own psychology is not quite the same after the very afraid of the impact of my grades, so if someone praised my grades are very good or ask some questions about the grades will be very nervous, is this a sign of mental stress? So if someone compliments me on my grades or asks me questions about my grades, I get very nervous. I'm always afraid to be alone, because then I'll be thinking nonsense, how can I get rid of this kind of tension, insecurity of the predicament ah?", + "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Treatment Methods, Mental Disorders", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, first of all, I'd like to give you a hug. Understand very well how you feel at this moment Entering the third year of junior high school, you always feel mentally nervous. Including the other situations you described, in fact, are related to your study too much pressure. Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Your grades are not bad, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. You said that you always suspect that your grades will be affected, but the more you think this way, the more stressful it may be. Usually you can do more exercise, read more books, of course, you can also play a little more appropriate relaxation ~ can also find trustworthy and reliable people to talk more, of course, if the school has a psychologist, you can go to the relaxation of the pressure ~ in addition, pay attention to the rest as well as eat a balanced diet.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 13, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 13, + "end": 38, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 38, + "end": 130, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 130, + "end": 155, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 155, + "end": 195, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 195, + "end": 210, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 7785 + }, + { + "question": "Are all marriages predestined?", + "description": "Are all marriages predestined? Is it really all about destiny? Or is it all about people?", + "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, divorce", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Some studies say that most people's marriages are just repeating the pattern of their parents' marriages. That is to say, you are used to their mode of getting along with your parents in the ten or twenty years you have been with them, and you can only find a sense of control and security in this familiar mode. Therefore, the person you attract, the person you choose is the one you subconsciously refer to your parents, filtered. Then the two people feel very comfortable after contact, there is a little bit of a natural pair of feelings, is that you happen to fit the parents of both sides of the usual most of the living together, communication, coping habits; for example, some people have always been recruited \"jagoff\" body, it is likely that she is used to get along with the jagoff's father, resulting in her subconsciously more agree with the jagoff, and even push the man into the jagoff. This may be because she is used to spending time with a father who is like the scum, which causes her to subconsciously identify more with the scum, and even force the man to become a scum, in order to prove that she has a bad destiny (or that the only way she can prove her existence is to save him). This creates the feeling that the marriage is fated. It's also about \"what goes around comes around\". It's that the more mature both parties are, the more likely they are to change their perceptions, and the more likely they are to make the right choices, the better. Have a strong self-awareness, self-care ability and problem-solving ability, in the wrong time can quickly notice, timely withdrawal; in the encounter really right person, can be determined to overcome all the difficulties, do not be swayed by fate, to find their own happiness.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12743 + }, + { + "question": "How do you give yourself motivation when you're not well? Too tired.", + "description": "I have endometriosis and now it's recurring, it's a disease that can only be cured by menopause and I'm only a little over 30, I'm currently on medication to control it, I have to go to the doctor to ask about the timing of the surgery, I have to go to work, and my immediate family is dead, it's so hard, how do I give myself motivation?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, just saw your question, the answer is a little late, but I hope you can see, and more hope that it will help you. I don't know much about endometriosis, so I went to Baidu first, and I can't say I empathize with the pain you're going through physically, but I understand what you're going through. I don't know if you are currently married or not, do you have any children? You said that all your immediate family members have passed away, so I'm guessing you're probably single at the moment! You don't have anyone around you who can take care of you, do you? For the pain brought to you by the disease, there may be no one to accompany you to face the pain of this pain will make you more painful. You will think: see how weak I am, if there is someone to face with me, can see us suffering, can accompany me. Because no one is with me, I'm quite poor. I don't know what you feel in your heart after reading this sentence, is it more sad and sad and lonely? Not to sting you, but to make you notice if you have such feelings. Usually a person feels this way because they put themselves in a low-energy position, thinking they are pathetic and miserable, and will not have as much courage and energy to deal positively with their own problems. What happened to you sounds really upsetting, and a lot of people who have this kind of experience will probably be upset for quite some time, so you have to trust that this state of mind will be okay after some time. So in the meantime let's see what we can do besides being sad. See you alone to face the pain of the disease, actively seeking medical treatment, waiting for surgery, but also insist on going to work, showing that you do not lack the courage, strong side, but also know how to cherish their own health, to see this side can not help but want to give you a nod of praise. What you are doing is already very good. Then can we still make our lives a little brighter? Of course we can. Apart from seeking medical help, are there other ways we can seek to help ourselves? For example, can we join some fitness exercises that suit us, such as yoga, meditation, or can we learn about health care to regulate our bodies? Participate in such circle activities to expand the social circle, more people, more exchange of health methods, which is still very young you are not very beneficial? This way you may find a lot of like-minded friends! I don't know if you are satisfied with this answer, I hope it will help you. Hope you are healthy and happy.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug, from the description can be understood, the owner of the need for surgery disease, immediate family members have left, feel their own no power. A little analysis and advice] 1. The owner himself understands that there is still a long future at thirty years of age, and the owner has the possibility to meet a lot of people to meet a lot of scenery. At this time to give up is definitely not right, this want to change the mentality itself is already a positive factor. 2. rest for a period of time, rethink what they want to do, and then continue to work, there will be a different feeling, but also reduce the fatigue of long-term work. The motivation itself depends on what the owner has what he/she wants to do, there is no way for the bystanders to decide instead of the owner. So I can only advise you to prepare your state, relax and rest, and then move forward. I hope the owner can get well soon.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18209 + }, + { + "question": "What about getting used to going to bed late and waking up early?", + "description": "Because of work, every day must get up at 7:00 or so, but even so, can not stop me from staying up late, I can not say why, obviously eyelids are fighting, but still think that can not sleep, as if sleeping sorry for their own feelings, get up to go to the bathroom or drink a mouthful of water, a little sober, and continue to look at the phone!", + "keywords": "Behavior, Cell Phone Dependence, Staying Up Late", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, owner. I'm actually a little confused when I read your description. You say you're used to going to bed late and getting up early. That sounds as if you've adapted to this, so what is it about this habit that you want to tackle? Is it affecting you in any way? If not, great job accepting him. If that means you're worried about the lack of sleep affecting your health and affecting your work, you can allow yourself to sleep. How do you feel about sleeping when you force yourself to be awake when your body is telling you it's time to sleep? Do you feel that sleep is useless when you say that you are sorry for yourself if you sleep? Do you feel that you can't do things that are useful to you if you fall asleep? So you can think about how you feel about \"useless\" things. Maybe you have some expectations of yourself, and there is a gap between your \"ideal me\" and your \"real me\" that makes you feel anxious, so you can't stop yourself from sleeping, but of course these are my guesses.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 21, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 21, + "end": 31, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 31, + "end": 74, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 74, + "end": 116, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 116, + "end": 197, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 197, + "end": 220, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 220, + "end": 286, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 22333 + }, + { + "question": "Just interned as a female and worried that the sound of knocking on the computer is affecting others and making it impossible to concentrate?", + "description": "I am a relatively sensitive person, sometimes do not know to weigh their own relationship with others, and then the origin of the problem may be the keen awareness of their own voices, it should be their own easy to influence, they have to adjust their own mentality, but want to be a cause of trouble for others and thus make the problem complex and difficult to solve, please give advice, thank you!", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social adaptation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "You are really a very sensitive and considerate girl, everyone has a different threshold for feeling stimulation, the same sound stimulation that is unbearable for some may have no effect at all for others. You feel the keyboard is loud, is it possible that you yourself do not like this kind of noise, but say it out of fear that others think you are too sensitive things too much? If this factor is there, then change it and make yourself comfortable, feeling sharp is your advantage. If you do not feel unbearable, is worried about causing trouble to others, then it may be worthwhile to confirm with colleagues around ah, together with dinner or chatting, jokingly said I feel my keyboard is very noisy oh, has not disturbed you ah, if there is really I'll put it on probation, into the cold palace. Some of the consequences in the imagination is very scary, but really become a reality after there is nothing unacceptable, since we are already a partnership, mutual trust and communication is a very normal thing, right, occasionally some conflict resolution can also enhance the relationship it, through the conflict with each other will deepen the understanding. I wish you a happy life!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14830 + }, + { + "question": "I'm pretty much alone everywhere. I can't survive. What should I do?", + "description": "What if I can't live? Maybe tomorrow I won't. I'm pretty much alone everywhere. I can't talk about it in a sentence or two, so I'll stop.", + "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello questioner Three days have passed since you asked your question, how are you doing? I think we are all born alone, and we all inevitably need to live with loneliness for a long time in our lives. We can try some ways to dispel loneliness, and more importantly, we can learn to live with loneliness. To dispel loneliness, we need to have someone who understands our inner thoughts and feelings, and first of all, we need to express our thoughts and feelings and find someone to share them with. You say, you are quite lonely everywhere, have you tried to think of some ways to drive away the feeling of loneliness? Have you taken the initiative to socialize with others and share your heart with them? You can't just passively wait for others to come into your heart, if you don't open your heart, no one can come in. You have to realize that if you don't like to be alone, other people will too, and other people will expect others to come into their hearts. And if they are just waiting for others to take the initiative, according to all, are doomed to live as an island. So don't be afraid to go out and communicate with others, and keep each other company. We have no way to completely drive away loneliness, but at least in the moment of heart-to-heart with others, we will not be alone; if we believe that someone is concerned about their own, love their own, we will not feel so lonely. No one can be with us forever, so loneliness, which is destined to be completely unavoidable, is something we need to learn to live with. There is a book called \"Friends with Loneliness\", a very good book, recommended to read. If you look at loneliness from a different perspective and try to learn to enjoy life when you are alone, perhaps, you will find that, in fact, loneliness is not so painful and desperate. Perhaps, we can try not to rely too much on others, try to be alone to enjoy ourselves and enjoy loneliness. Make friends with loneliness. So, don't be afraid to go out as much as possible, socialize, communicate and make friends with others. Also, learn to enjoy the solitude of being alone as much as you can. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject!!! The subject is lonely right now, so lonely that he/she doesn't want to stay here anymore, and you are feeling anxious about the situation, not sure what has happened to the subject lately, but I hope that all is well with the subject. Has the subject been feeling lonely like this for the last few days? , or did something happen that was too much for you to bear? Whatever it is, hopefully there will be someone by the subject's side to keep you company No matter what, the subject is going to be able to live tomorrow, maybe the subject is away from his family, maybe life has gone wrong, but there is a little bit of all those things that will keep you going. Your description is so complicated that you don't want to describe it, maybe a lot of things have happened to you lately and you only have to bear those things alone, which finally gave you the idea of not surviving. There is always a solution to a problem, but if you give up on yourself then nothing will be solved, hang in there it's always going to be okay, you have to believe in yourself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "1. I don't know if you have read a book called One Hundred Years of Solitude. For many people, we all have moments of loneliness. Often, we only see other people's lively appearance, but we can't see other people's appearance of being alone. In life, everyone has to learn to be alone. Only after learning to be alone, it is possible to really get along with others. 2, if the financial ability to allow, can still survive, survive first. The world is not as evil as you think, of course, not that it is like heaven, half good and half bad, human nature is the same, half good, half evil. 3, imagine if you are in a desert island, what will be the feeling? There is no one around you, and there may be fierce beasts out ...... Now, you are in human society, at least there are no fierce beasts out to harm people, because they are all in the zoo, haha. Walking down the street, at least it's safe. Want to eat and wear, by spending money, can be exchanged to get.4. As for the relationship between people, with sincerity, in the process of giving to each other, it is not difficult to harvest friendship.5. Everything, is not as difficult as you think.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21030 + }, + { + "question": "Just graduated from college, I feel that my boyfriend is very materialistic how to do?", + "description": "I just graduated from college, just graduated when my boyfriend and I came to Shanghai, this year's employment is difficult to find a job I used almost three months, he found a job before me. I am idle at home when he always quarrel with me, said I do not look for a job, I also want to work but I put in the resume did not respond to the sound I have no way, he has always said that what graduation can not be with the family to ask for money and so on and so forth, because of this we argued a lot of times, the Cold War. However, I found a job with a higher salary than his, but it is 996, I only have one day off a week, and every day when I get home, it's almost ten o'clock, I feel a little bit tired without their own life, so I said the next time to change the job I'm not looking for a 996, looking for double time off. Then he even said: the high salary of the intensity, if you look for a double rest will not have such a high salary. I was hired by this company, he was very excited, because of the high wages, I said I was tired I do not have their own time, he a little bit will not hurt me to comfort me, only think the high wages, even if I die of exhaustion to do, he said that let me be a supervisor in the future, the wage can be more than 20,000, I told him that the supervisor is very tired, especially girls, can rarely take care of the family and the high intensity of the supervisor of the work. But he said it's fine, now not bitter later more bitter .....", + "keywords": "Love,Love Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The main problem is that you and your boyfriend have different ideas about money, and in your opinion, it is more important to be able to find a job that pays a relatively decent salary, is stable and has enough time off. The main problem is that you and your boyfriend have different ideas about money, and it is more important for you to be able to find someone who pays a decent salary and has enough time off work. He seems to care more about money than anything else, which is very \"materialistic\". My personal idea of \"materialistic\" is to ask others to give more money, energy and time without reciprocation, or to get money and luxurious enjoyment without any bottom line. The subject's boyfriend also said that after graduation, he could not ask for money from his family, which shows that he is actually a person with his own bottom line and dignity. I can't say that he is \"materialistic\", but I can only say that he is more realistic about money. In his past experience, he may be affected by the lack of money more deeply, so he will hope that you can seize the opportunity to work hard to earn money, to go to a higher place and have more resources. However, this is in conflict with your concepts, coupled with not being able to deeply understand each other's ideas, but only seeing the surface behavior, so conflicts arise. [Both sides need to communicate on employment] 1. Boyfriend's heart is actually good, he is hoping that you can realize the real economic independence as soon as possible. But the problem is that he has imposed his own ideas on you, which makes you very uncomfortable, and that's why the conflict arose. Everyone's time and energy is limited, if more like high-speed development mode, may 996 after becoming a supervisor is more suitable; the same choice of a slower development, but can have more time for the position, and can not be said to be wrong. It's all a personal choice, the key is just the speed and space for real development in the future. If you really can't take on an intense job, then communicate that to your boyfriend. Expect to realize economic independence, but also can not lose their own life and health ah. 2. also need to understand the boyfriend's requirements for you, not his \"material\", but his way he wants you to become better. It always takes time for people to develop, and the result of pulling out the seedling will not be too optimistic. Why don't you just try to walk at your own pace and run along the way to achieve a little economic freedom? A little mushroom that wants to gentlify the world and also give himself time to grow recklessly.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, feeling your anxiety and sending you a hug. Precise expression of needs, not stopping at the expression of emotions to take over Many caseworkers confuse facts, feelings and thoughts when expressing their emotions. For example: because my husband did not give me slippers, it means that my husband does not love me For example: when my husband comes home a little late, he will worry about whether his husband is cheating on him, the truth is that these thoughts are not equal to the facts, and sometimes they are just their own hypotheses, living in the fear and anxiety of the unknown. There is no evidence to prove that do not give to get slippers is not love me, come home late is to cheat, many times belong to our own imagination out of a plot or script, and then we keep processing it, until we can not afford to start to take action. The change that needs to be made is to express your needs clearly instead of expressing your emotions or being controlled by them. You seem to be more in need of your boyfriend's thoughtfulness, so can you just tell him that he's too tired to work, can you help me share the work of cooking and washing the dishes and doing the housework, and that I don't get off work until 10:00 pm and I don't have the strength to do it anymore, instead of just sticking a label on him that he's too materialistic and just wants me to make more money regardless of whether I'm dead or alive and try to communicate that. Appreciating someone makes you more energized so I was wondering if you could look at your boyfriend from a different perspective and maybe make a new discovery. For example: is he because of the family's conditions are more difficult after graduation feel that you should not let your parents hard work, from this point you can see whether he is quite filial piety. For example: he hopes that you can work together to buy a house in Shanghai as soon as possible to put down roots, more hard work when you are young, more opportunities for example: he thinks that the high wages is the intensity of the big, from this point you can see that he is still very sensible, rather than greed close to home, less work and more money Recommended books \"Nonviolent Communication\" \"Intimate Relationships\".", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner of the boyfriend care about high wages and do not care about your hard work is very sad, such a state also affects the relationship between you, but also let you love him seems to have some questions. You graduated together to work in Shanghai, which shows that you have considered for the future. University love is generally graduated is the breakup season. Can continue to enter the community together for the future of life together, that you have a foundation of affection, but also have the desire to last forever. Now the state is actually graduated into society most people face problems. When love meets bread, how to choose. Girls will mostly be very disappointed feel not enough love. Boys will feel that the girl is very made, not enough to sympathize and understand. The reality is really so, the pressure to enter the society, the comparison of people around, want to live a good life desire to make everyone very anxious. Especially in the first-tier cities as a grassroots family to fight really not easy. This time the contradiction between the two appeared, in fact, is not a contradiction between you, is the love into a new environment, whether you can jointly resist common resistance to the past. This requires more communication and exchange, but also to learn more sympathetic and forbearance. This is the price of entering adulthood, pain but very necessary. Suggestions: 1, the owner can say their own feelings and thoughts, but also think about why the boyfriend's boyfriend will care so much about the salary. 2, also give the boyfriend a chance to talk about his feelings and thoughts about coming to the community. 3, talk about your future life, whether or not the same direction of the same direction. This determines whether you can walk together in the future. 4, if there is really no way to tolerate, to reach an agreement on mutual understanding, it is recommended to follow their own rhythm to choose, comfortable with less money, more money to get tired. 5, also ask your boyfriend to respect their own choices, after all, you are still in love stage, does not involve the responsibility of the common family. Come on, life is not easy, all rely on their own efforts.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! You graduated from college and came to Shanghai with your boyfriend. I believe you must be full of expectations for the future, and the two of you are willing to work together for the future. But in the process, you also encountered some conflicts. The initial conflict is that he first found a job, you are idle at home for three months. It seems that your boyfriend had some anxiety during these three months, urging you to work hard to find a job because he felt that he couldn't ask for money from his family after graduation. Maybe at that time you also have some low mood, because you are also working hard to submit a resume, but no reply, this time you may want to understand and support, and the other person to give you reasoning. Men and women do have different ways of thinking about solving problems, and if you can accept this difference, and then see the difference in the upbringing behind both of your behaviors, and your different perceptions of money, it may be easier to understand each other. In response to your confusion: what to do if you feel your boyfriend is materialistic? Provide the following directions to think about, may have a new feeling.01. Understand the boyfriend's upbringing, his family environment. Everyone with the deep-rooted beliefs or concepts of the family of origin into a close relationship, if you can understand his family of origin, for money, for labor and rest concepts, perhaps and your family of origin for these aspects of the understanding of the different, but it is this difference so that the two together can add a set of ways to cope with the community, the individual flexible response to the community is also very helpful. 02. You feel that such work is very hard heart must also be looking forward to more understanding and support from your boyfriend. In this regard, you can also communicate more, such as let him take on some housework, such as the only day off to rest well. Since the boyfriend support you to do the job well, it can also communicate, so that he supports you with practical actions. 03. Through this matter you conclude that the boyfriend is very material. It is advisable to use more ways to understand him as a person, rather than just using this one thing to draw conclusions. In addition, this thing may have just happened, so the understanding and interpretation of things will be like this, might as well wait to see how things develop later, and then come to a conclusion as well. Good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear girl, how are you? After reading your description, I feel that you are having a hard time and it's not easy. Hug you ah ~ ~ from your description, you and your boyfriend between the typical male and female thinking and communication differential problems. First of all, the female brain when encountering things, is scattered thinking mode, the left and right brain will participate in together, there will be a large number of emotions in it. However, the male brain, when it comes to things, is in a zoned thinking mode, where only one piece operates and the rest of the brain is not involved. So, it will often come down to what you describe. A girl just wants a warm hug or a \"You've worked hard!\" Wanting to be understood by the other person. The guy, on the other hand, sees what you're experiencing as a problem, and prepares a bunch of reasoning and chicken blood, \"You've got to hang in there! Just get through it! ......\" holding down a girl's neck and pouring it in. Think this can help girls solve the problem. In fact, the girls themselves do not have a solution to the problem? So you think your boyfriend doesn't understand himself, think he thinks money is more important than you. It's all a result of men and women's brains not being used in the same way. Next time you can try to say this \"I know money is important. I told you this is to get your understanding, I want to get is the emotional care, you so answer does not seem to be my first want, I hope you can ...... \"Note: 1. Raise the requirements of the other side must be able to do, and can give you the support of, such as a hug, the weekend to go out for a date! Try to start with the word \"I\". It's not easy at first, but you'll get there with practice. In conclusion: Dear girl, please take care of yourself! Take care of your body as well as your emotions. If you are really too tired, don't put too much pressure on yourself and make sure to stop and rest. Please love yourself the most first and foremost.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello owner, your question gave me a chance to help you, I am very happy to meet you. I read your question carefully and saw that you only work hard one day a week and your boyfriend didn't give you the care you wanted, I felt your exhaustion and the sadness and disappointment in your heart. But I also saw your description that your boyfriend would let you do it even if he wore you out, and I believe that there was a misunderstanding about your communication problems. In fact, I can see in his words that he cares about you, I don't know if you've noticed. For example, \"you can't ask for money from your family after graduation\", \"the intensity of a high wage is high, if you look for a double shift, you won't have such a high wage\", \"it's not bitter now, it will be even more bitter later\", I see his concern for you in these words. I saw his expectations of you in these words, but the relationship with money is not very big, quite some parents teach their children the feeling. I think your disappointment and sadness is due to the fact that this is not the kind of care you were expecting, and you feel neglected and unimportant to him. But for now, it seems that your boyfriend is just not very good at expressing himself, so if you still like him, you might want to increase your communication. Ask for each other's care, but also care for each other more, the same just graduated students, I do not know whether you expressed as a girlfriend's concern? I believe you will do a good job. I will be here, always supporting you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "This thing is not to say that the boyfriend is materialistic, it is just that he is a success oriented person who wants to keep struggling upward through his own efforts. It's normal for him to struggle, maybe only work means something to him, he's an ambitious person, it's torture for him to stay at home and relax. But his problem is that he has imposed what he wants on the subject's head, and he hasn't considered that perhaps you are not a success-oriented person who aspires to reach the top, and that such a life would be too stressful for you to endure. So your values have diverged and this is something you need to work out. Both of you are right in what you think, what is wrong is that people who hold different ideas and concepts come together. My boyfriend says it's okay to be bitter now, a little bit of bitterness is to accumulate capital for the future, now 996 accumulated enough money, maybe in the future there will be a lot more choices, and will not be so tired. But some people just don't want to work so tired, he feels that life should be more to enjoy life, he also has no great ambition, think live a common day is good. Generally speaking only two people with the same values will go well together, because we all have the same goals and can work together. And like the subject and her boyfriend, they both want different things and don't share the same ideas about each other, and as you said have already had many fights about this issue. Another problem is that your boyfriend doesn't seem to respect you very much, or doesn't take your feelings into account, he seems to be your boss with many demands on you, and it feels like you're not equal in the relationship. If he's willing to work, then he should work, why do you have to work so hard? If you're not a hard worker, and he can't get along, then why doesn't he just break up and find someone who likes to work, instead of making you suffer by making a lot of demands on you? He has some problems with that too. So the solution is either you become the same as him, we work together; or he becomes the same as you, settle down some is enough, do not work too hard. But then the question is will you compromise on this issue? If you really can't rub it in and no one can convince anyone, maybe letting go will be the best option. That way he can choose a partner who is as wolfish as he is, and you can find someone who shares your philosophy to live a peaceful life, which is the best choice for each other.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Sweet hugs to you, between your lines I see a little girl who needs to be seen, noticed and loved. Well, your boyfriend is paying attention to things and paying attention to the paycheck here a little more indeed. It's also possible that she doesn't realize that you need her hugs and her attention. If it's the right time, express your little girl heart's desire.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1058 + }, + { + "question": "Emotions always bother you because of relationships, but you regurgitate them afterward?", + "description": "I am deeply emotionally disturbed, I really want to become a happy person without being affected by other people's emotions there are some things that I can't forget and can't figure out. For example, other people's accusations against me, verbal attacks, dislike and other dissatisfied words or reactions during the incident may not be so difficult, but after the incident I can not help but remember them, I very much want to get rid of the emotional distress so I do not dare to attack other people to avoid conflict. I have studied abcde emotion therapy, but why some emotions I can't control by changing my mind? I've been sociopathic for three years and am now 70% out with some obsessive thinking. I've been under a lot of stress lately and have had a lot of relationship trauma in the past. Today it is obvious that my roommate did not do the right thing, he inexplicably expressed dissatisfaction with me in fact in the past, I am much more sensitive than now, because a little thing will be angry or hurt. Because of this I was afraid to defend myself and attack others Also, I was really sensitive to negative comments and tended to react in a big way. Especially when I'm judged to be of average knowledge, or not a good character, etc.. It's especially hard to ruminate on it afterward", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Conflicts, Interpersonal Boundaries", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Thanks, I empathize with your question and want to give you a hug for encouragement. Consider whether your family's parenting style has had a big impact on you. A lot of problems like this come from parenting styles. Many parents like to criticize their children, even if they are doing well. This kind of education, on the one hand, can maintain the authority of the parents themselves, on the other hand, can avoid the child complacent, because as the saying goes, pride makes people regress. So there are a lot of families in the way of education to take more of a repressive approach. Although the results, there will be a certain effect, but the opposite is true, I think you need more positive encouragement at this time, appropriate evaluation. 2. Interpersonal communication in the fear of outstanding problems. First of all, your emotions are often easily affected by other people's emotions, such as your close people around you show negative emotions, you will also be deeply affected. On the one hand, this is the result of emotional cues and on the other hand, it is also the effect of emotional rendering. Most of the time, such problems occur because the individual is not psychologically strong enough, that is, they are fragile. Why this vulnerability has also been made clearer in the first point of elaboration, and it may have more to do with the upbringing environment of the family. In fact, it is the principle of attribution of the problem. In psychology, people's attribution of the problem is generally divided into two ways, one is called external attribution, as the saying goes, is to blame others, such as shit can not come out of the earth's gravity is too small. The other is internal attribution, which is to blame oneself for everything, just like Xianglin's wife. You can see that your attributional coping principle is more on the side of internal attribution, attributing a lot of things to yourself, and sometimes it's so much that you can't find your way around to find the answer, which is how you're doing it all wrong! Why how to do is wrong, not you yourself really do something wrong, but you in the problem when the way of attribution is likely to have only one is internal attribution, is to blame yourself. Because of this bias in your cognitive strategy, it creates the illusion that you are currently doing it all wrong yourself. So it would be a good choice to make adjustments in your cognitive strategy. There are both your own reasons and objective blockages in everything. This is the healthier way.3. Countermeasures in the future when you encounter problems, try to analyze the causes of the problem of multi-dimensional considerations, I believe you will have a more rational understanding. Take your time, welcome to private communication to solve the problem!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello: Emotional distress is always accompanied by some obsessive thinking that there is no way to unclog, so it [clogs] in the heart. There is no way to relieve it for a long time, and one's emotions will be [irritable], even though good-tempered people sometimes are, that's why. Interpersonal distress, sometimes from [do not know] how to get along with others, in fact, this is all skillful, can learn, we can slowly analyze the analysis to understand the problem: 1, you are deeply emotionally disturbed, you really want to not be affected by other people's emotions, become a happy person (hear you say this, very happy for you, because people in distress is very painful, but need to [want to] come out of the heart, the heart. Not wanting to be affected, it is necessary to [change the inherent thinking] determination, as well as give yourself a period of [time] process. Through hard work, it is definitely achievable.) 2, some things you can not forget, can not think through. For example, others to your accusations, verbal attacks, dislike and other dissatisfaction with the words or reactions in the matter may not be so difficult, but afterward you can not help but recall them, you very much want to get rid of emotional distress so you do not dare to attack others to avoid conflict. (People have grievances in their hearts, things they can't let go of, is the need for reasonable [release and dredging]. When one does not have the means to deal with those words of accusation, attack, dislike, etc., one cannot suppress oneself. One needs to find the right person and the right way to [release] it, or else one won't suffocate it? (Including the constant flashbacks at the back, all caused by the lack of release.) 3, you have learned abcde emotion therapy, but why some emotions I change my mind can not control? You social terrorism for three years, now out of 70%, some obsessive-compulsive thinking. Recently there has been a lot of stress and a lot of interpersonal trauma in the past. Today it is obvious that the roommate did not do right, he inexplicably expresses dissatisfaction with you (emotional therapy, is the need to have professional guidance, otherwise a lot of times will be [halfway through], because a person itself is also very difficult to do. Three years of social terrorism must have caused you a lot of pain. To be able to get out of the 70%, you are really great, it's not easy. The general defense mechanism within obsessive-compulsive thinking is [emotional isolation], there is no way to get along well with others, only you know you are actually willing. There's no way to understand other people's behavior, just as there's no way for them to understand yours. These can be changed, don't be afraid oh.) 4, the fact that you in the past, much more sensitive than now, will because of a little small things will be angry or hurt. Because of this you don't dare to protect yourself, don't dare to attack others (can't very well grasp the scale of getting along with people, resulting in their own [don't dare to go in and out], that's a very awkward, very uncomfortable situation. You can imagine how difficult it is for you. But please believe that these can be changed.) 5, there is also the fact that you are really sensitive to negative evaluations, and tend to react in a big way. Especially being evaluated as having average academic knowledge, or not being a good person, etc.. Particularly difficult (Well, if I was evaluated negatively, it is also very difficult, will also be sensitive, after all, we are living in groups in this society. It's just that it's more important at this point to realize that everyone has flaws and definitely strengths. We don't need to be influenced by unwarranted voices, [if we have them, we can change them, if we don't]. For example, you do not owe your conscience, how is it that your character is not good, what they say does not count, your life is for you to live. It's none of their business. If you don't have a strong inner conviction, you'll be carried away, and convictions can be connected.) Straight to the point: \"Emotions are always troubled because of relationships\" ~~ The fact that [one's] emotions are always troubled because of relationships with [others] shows that it's too easy to be influenced by others. But each of us is obviously living our own life, but we are always influenced by others. For example, \"People say I'm bad, so how does that prove I'm bad?\" , and more to the point, how come I still believe it so much? Right? In fact, there is also tone and attitude [assisted therapy] in here, so if you have a chance, we can explore it. ~ ~ thinking pattern, is slowly developed, but also slowly can be changed, just like we eat, dress, sleep, it is a habit, is a habit, can be changed, is not it? It is comfortable to change something in a state you can accept. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you a speedy relief! Private message if you are confused about details!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I was also thinking about this today. Because after learning something about psychology, we naturally use what we have learned to analyze the problem in all aspects and from all angles and at all levels and compare it to what we think is how it is, which is sort of a necessary part of the learning process, isn't it? And today I am realizing more and more on this issue that awareness is the most crucial and important step. When we have negative emotions, if we can really, without being reminded by others, without being counterattacked by others, we can already be immediately aware of it and realize that we have emotions, then, at this time, we will immediately calm down and stop lashing out at others, and this is to be aware of when we are aware of when we are aware of when we are aware of when we are aware of when we are aware of when we are aware of it. And the prerequisite for stopping negative emotions from lashing out at others is to have self-awareness, to have self-perception, and this is so difficult. In the past, we didn't achieve this kind of cognition, and we couldn't do this kind of awareness, so naturally we weren't as sensitive. On the contrary, now we will be more sensitive, and I think this is also a process of learning. I think this is also a process of learning. If we can further advance, break through the important factor of \"awareness\" and cross this hurdle, then perhaps we will not be so distressed, and perhaps we will be able to reach the realm of prophecy and foresight. Therefore, I hope that the owner will continue to learn and grow. I wish you progress every day!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The emergence of this problem has a lot to do with your ego, a person with a mature ego, is able to control their own emotions and boundaries, joy and anger with the heart and feelings, distinguish between their own emotions or the emotions of others, and can be stripped away. In the description of the subject, your inner world is very easy to be invaded by external objects, an analogy, like a country, the domestic situation is often affected by foreign countries, relationships, emotions, feelings, etc. are derived from this, so to solve the problem of the root is to start from your personality system, to find the subconscious neglected, repressed, distorted complex, face, break, rebuild, new life.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "In fact, I have the same feeling, emotions are sometimes always affected by interpersonal relationships, in fact, everyone is like a life force of an energy field, a magnetic field, everyone's sometimes aura of different values are different as well as, uh, people's interests in a different perspective, stand a different angle, there will be different a distress. *, especially some personality traits more sensitive introverted people, he is prone to cause a compulsive thinking, easy to repeatedly think, repeatedly think, repeatedly think, sometimes, to do a, think side to do or less think more to do, if you encounter this situation. Because some people's thinking, he is able to be able to perceive that kind of obsessive thinking, that is to say, you can use abc therapy, uh, you can also use cognitive therapy, you can also use sfBT therapy, you can go to do some of the warp points, to find some appropriate counselor, so that some of the resources within your spirit inwardly seek not to judge and not to argue, to find their own internal resources, to improve a little bit every day, in fact Sometimes everyone is emotional, there may be a conflict of interest, sometimes, in fact, language conflict to um in front because of their own storage, because the language is sufficient words, you can avoid some of the physical conflict brought about, sometimes both sides scolded ah, to express the aggressiveness can also be, in fact, is to protect a kind of boundary. *, there is also a communication is very important, sometimes two people say you can both sides of the depth of communication, in a suitable environment, the right space, so that we put themselves behind the needs expressed, table table will be misunderstood, many people say that the words of the people between a lot of things are all communication caused by a number of misunderstandings, and then, you have to be able to do the regularity of life, go to bed early and get up early to eat well and sleep well, because sleep is the first The most important thing is that you have to be able to get a good night's sleep. Can solve 70% of some anxiety. At the same time, you can eat to the movement, such as jumping rope ah, running. Pay attention to the safety conditions with, for example, badminton ah and yoga, and some positive thinking meditation journaling methods, to be able to control their anxiety. *, what is the condition, you can find some elders longer than you 55 years to 10 years of people to go to an emotional release, including some elders without conflict of interest, so that he can give you a tolerant perspective, from the perspective of the magnification of the timeline to give you a choice, but then, ultimately, the human life is a life expert, every day, they are able to do their own subjective.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17733 + }, + { + "question": "What can I do if my mother-in-law is too strong and controlling to keep her distance from us?", + "description": "My grandfather passed away earlier this year, and now I live with my mother-in-law. She takes care of daily life matters, but she has a strong desire to control us, as a couple. Every bit of our free time after work is occupied by her, even if it's just a small matter. For example, if we have plans to have dinner with friends, she might ask my husband to buy watermelon for her just as we are about to leave. She even forces us to have a baby, taking me to unreliable traditional Chinese medicine doctors for herbal treatments. As my husband and I work in different locations, we only have weekends to spend time alone together. However, she often takes over his weekends. Since we got married, all the conflicts between my husband and me have been caused by her. I now strongly resist meeting her, and I would rather stay permanently at my workplace than go home. I want the two of us to buy a separate apartment and live on our own, but it's impossible for my mother-in-law to agree to that. Just the thought of living together with her in the long term feels suffocating. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Family Control, In-Law Relationships", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I can feel your depression and aggravation when I read your complaint. It is indeed very depressing and painful when one's family life is controlled by others in every aspect. In your complaint, I can see your mother-in-law's strength and too much interference, but I am talking about your husband's attitude when you and your mother-in-law have conflicts or your mother-in-law interferes in your life. In the end, the conflict between you and your mother-in-law is an extension of the conflict between husband and wife. You said that the conflict between you and your husband after you got married is all because of her, I don't know if it means that your husband is not on a united front with you in this mother-in-law-daughter-in-law war, instead, he is a bit of a lone wolf himself, unable to do anything about it. In fact, the core of the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is two women competing for the love of a man to launch a turf war, in the final analysis, is a man in a family can not harmonize \"husband\" and \"son\" dual role caused by the extension of the relationship between husband and wife. After the death of the father-in-law, the mother-in-law even took the son as all the support, thinking that this is a \"mom, son, daughter-in-law\" of the family of three, while the fact is that the \"son and daughter-in-law\" belong to the new \"separate family The truth is that \"son and daughter-in-law\" belong to the new \"independent family\", the mother belongs to the husband's family of origin, in this composite family, is the need for your husband to set up their own role in the family, and strive to run their own family. Known as the \"Pope of Marriage\" psychologist John Gottman in the \"Happy Marriage\", to deal with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship of the viewpoints held is: when encountering mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, the husband and wife against his mother, in this family, he is first of all a woman's husband's role, followed by another woman's son's role, he should not compromise on the issue of roles and must side with his wife instead of remaining neutral. One of the basic tasks of marriage is to create a sense of \"we\" between husband and wife, and the husband must let the mother know that his wife comes first. In this relationship, the main problem does not lie in the relationship between you and your mother-in-law, but in the relationship between you and your husband. Whether it is to have a child or to organize your own time, this is an internal problem of your \"new family\", and the two of you can be coordinated, and the husband knows how to keep the boundaries between the family of origin and the new family is the most important thing. Suggestions, you choose the right time, only to things not to people, do not blame the attack, only to express their own feelings and expectations of their husbands under the premise of a good communication with their husbands, as long as he really understand you and you stand on the same position, in order to truly solve the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 22, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 22, + "end": 120, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 120, + "end": 208, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 208, + "end": 290, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 290, + "end": 405, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 405, + "end": 541, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 541, + "end": 590, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 590, + "end": 696, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 696, + "end": 785, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, seriously after reading your post, there are a few ideas and you share 1. you want to move out of the idea of living alone have you discussed with your husband? 2. seems to be in the marriage and the need to fight with the mother-in-law to the husband, I do not know how the husband is how to look at this issue? 3. the birth of a child must be the husband and wife are ready to regenerate, if you feel that now is forced to give birth to the, then I suggest that it is still prudent to be a little bit more 4. I would rather suggest that there are things that the two couples discuss and unify their views before taking care of their respective parentsGo for it Oh.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "1. this issue is not a separate issue, need to discuss with your husband, the two alone to buy a house another note, the decision maker of this matter is you and your husband, not you and your mother-in-law. While you are still young, seize the time, earn more money, save more money, all the small money big money all save up, with a few years time to pay the down payment to buy a smaller house, move out of the house.2. Since the father-in-law passed away, the mother-in-law is alone, and now there is no emotional catharsis, so every day staring at you and your husband extenuating circumstance. It's not like she's staring at your husband every day because he's still around. This in saving money to buy a house before moving out, is an irrevocable fact, there is no way to solve only to be able to tolerate. 3. your mother-in-law to make your husband, that mom to make son, it is natural, there is nothing to say, can only be generous, if you do a daughter-in-law, may say, mom, I feel sorry for my husband, I go to buy a watermelon. This, on the contrary, can enhance the relationship between you and your husband, and also make the family more harmonious. This is also the practice of sacrificing the small for the big picture. Mother-in-law wants you to have children, this is also common sense, after all, the birth of a child is a major event in the family, very important. Many couples married for many years want children, but also not on, some because of physiological problems, and so on, there are also some couples married for many years can not be born, go to adoptive children, or to go to IVF, this kind of thing is a lot, and adoptive children after all is not biological, grow up but also to go back to look for the biological parents how to do? The cost of in vitro fertilization is very high, and it is difficult for the average person to afford it. So, while you are young, women can still recover early by giving birth to a child, and after giving birth to a child, when the child is older, you can still do what you want to do ah. So that when you and your peers stand together, look the same age, in fact, your children are playing soy sauce, the same age envy is still too late. As for your comment about your mother-in-law taking up your weekends. Actually there are 2 homes in front of you now, one is a small home for you and your husband and the other is a big home for you and your husband and your mother-in-law. Now that your father-in-law is gone, as your husband, he definitely wants to take care of his old mother more. Therefore, usually people will give up their small family to take care of the big picture in front of everyone. Only when your husband's mother is well, your husband can be well, so that you and your husband's small family can be harmonious and peaceful. You also said that you and your husband have conflicts because of your mother-in-law. In fact, it is the difference in the concept of sacrificing the small family for the big family. I believe you can be a good daughter-in-law of everyone, then you are naturally a good daughter-in-law of the small family.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6684 + }, + { + "question": "Any ideas on how to manage kids on cell phones?", + "description": "Third grade, using the excuse of going to the bathroom to go in and play with the phone for a full hour, against such a stench, called and did not come out, but also lied that she did not play, not I checked out she really pretending, acting realistic to the point that I believe it!", + "keywords": "Family, child communication, behavioral disorders", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, subject! Now during the epidemic, I don't know if school has started in your city? Due to the impact of the epidemic, children have a lot of free time, many children use cell phones, PAD extended time, you do not need to be too anxious. Share my family's situation, my child is in the fourth grade, before the cell phone, iPad is not used much, after that because of the impact of the epidemic, less connection with classmates, and we do not have so much time to spend with her, she will use WeChat and classmates chat for a long time, and classmates about to play the game of cat and mouse, but also like to swipe the fast hand to watch funny videos. My child's father and I chose to do both control and de-escalation.1) First, let's talk about controlControlThe part of control that is needed is degree. Each family has to talk about it according to their own home situation. Our family in general belongs to a more democratic family. The child himself knows that a long time is not good, but can not control himself. We explained why, changed the passwords on our child's electronics, and agreed on 20 minutes of use each morning, noon, and evening. The child's unnecessary or unhealthy WeChat groups and games were deleted. This period of time the child does not adapt to this adjustment, there will be a period of resistance, and slowly get better. 2) Besides the detachment of the child to play games, most of them are because less fun in life. For example, there are no children to play with him, parents do not have the patience to accompany them, there is no reality of their favorite hobbies. We like to play bubble gum, blind boxes, etc., and regularly buy some of these for her to play, so that she can spend time on these. After dinner, we often dragged the neighborhood kids around the block to play with her, not giving her time to stay indoors. When she's tired of playing and comes back to get ready for bed, I read with her again before bed. The above is talking about the big side, most of the time is scheduled properly and it has little impact. Sometimes she will occasionally go over her 20 minute time limit, so I tap her to prompt her, buffer her, and take it back to prevent hostility. Sometimes, online class, I found that she will occasionally switch to WeChat, I will imply that she, see through not to say break, to give him some face.3) establish self-discipline consciousness once I mentioned to her: a friend's child to install a camera to keep an eye on the child's online class. Then I took the opportunity to say to her: she is now the climbing stage of self-discipline development period, mom think can not rely on the camera, can not rely on other discipline, to rely on her own. Usually, when she does well, we will show her, you do well today self-discipline Oh, today is a very good sense of time Oh, and continue to strengthen her high self-esteem in this regard. In short, education can not be too anxious, growth and self-discipline is also slowly formed, occasionally the child is wrong, do not be so anxious. We need to believe from the heart that he will be born to the good, and in the middle of the continuous encouragement. The above is for your reference!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I think the subject must not force the child not to play with the cell phone. People are rebellious, the more you don't let me do this, the more I will do this. The subject can sit down with the child to discuss the matter of \"playing cell phone\" (but must be to put themselves and their children on an equal level to discuss, like and colleagues), both sides on the play of cell phone to reach a mutually agreed agreement and abide by, and to discuss the violation of the agreement after the punishment. There can also be rewards for good behavior. The subject should also set a good example in playing with cell phones, as the attitude of parents towards something also affects their children's attitude towards that thing. The subject can also spend more time with the child, more interaction with him, to enrich his spare time. If the child's life is enriched, his attention on the cell phone will naturally decrease.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21101 + }, + { + "question": "I usually communicate less with my parents, should I block them on social apps?", + "description": "I usually have less communication with my parents, and there is a big generation gap, and this generation gap makes it even more difficult to communicate with my parents. I haven't blocked my parents on WeChat recently, and I've been posting a lot of sharing about my college life. My parents said it's not good that I'm always showing off, but it's clearly what everyone is doing. There was also a time when I said that there were a lot of college deadlines, and they didn't know what it meant, they just knew that dead was death, and thought how could I say something like that. I was trying to get my parents to know more about me through my circle of friends, only to find that they are gradually misunderstanding me. I am now tempted to block them, what should I do?", + "keywords": "Family, parental communication", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ to the owner of a warm hug, very understanding of the owner's feelings, usually less communication with parents, I hope that through the circle of friends to let their parents understand a little more about themselves, but there is no way too big a generation gap, a lot of things they don't understand, but instead of blame, so the owner of the entanglement of the circle of friends to shield their parents or not. In fact, whether or not to shield, it is not the best solution. Maybe the owner has a question, if not shielded, then in the future if the situation occurs again, then parents will always read and blame us, so what to do? But if you shield, unless the parents will not find out, once found will say, you have some kind of ulterior motive, do not want your parents to know, then the problem will be more serious. Therefore, there are a few suggestions for parents to misunderstand, you can say as vague as possible, such as the deadline deadline, can be abbreviated ddl, or directly write the deadline. In addition, you can be properly shielded. For example, parents will say that you are very showy, often send a circle of friends, then you can choose to selectively shield. For example, if you send a circle of friends today, you will not be blocked, and if you send a circle of friends tomorrow, you will set up a separate block. Or just minimize the number of times you send friend circles. Or when your parents have doubts and want to blame you, then calmly talk to your parents to understand what it means. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 2032 + }, + { + "question": "25 Boys, girlfriend's best friend has not been in contact but secretly used girlfriend's tweets to abuse me?", + "description": "Before my girlfriend and I established a relationship, together in the direction of marriage, however, in the girlfriend went to school three days after her best friend on the side of the yin and yang, to the seventh day in my girlfriend went to take a shower she used my girlfriend's cell phone to scold me stupid, there is no reason, I grew up to be educated to be polite and treat people, grow up over and also have not been scolded by people for no reason. I asked my girlfriend the reason she said that her girlfriend is a simple and kind person, is for her good, I hope I understand. After that, my girlfriend's attitude turned 180 degrees, which made me very painful, always losing sleep. Do I have a psychological problem?", + "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug 1. was scolded by his girlfriend's girlfriend, but his girlfriend let himself be sympathetic 2. doubt that he is not out of the question [Analysis] 1. first of all, the owner himself is not out of the question psychologically Oh. Couple relationship is the last stage of the marriage relationship, is the future to walk a long way together partner. So after forming a couple relationship, both men and women will hope that they are the most important person to each other, more important than other friends, hope that in the event of a problem or need to make a tendency, lovers can stand on their side. The owner's girlfriend did not consider the owner's feelings on the issue of her best friend, so the owner found it difficult.2. As for the hostility of her best friend towards her boyfriend, it may be well documented. Before the boyfriend appeared, accompanied a girl the longest, the most can say true words, the most can help each other is perhaps the best friend. Many girlfriends in the best friend has a boyfriend, gradually reduce the time with their own to accompany the boyfriend, there will be a kind of their own things were taken away from the feeling, the owner can think differently, perhaps she can understand her hostility and resentment towards you. Of course, this direct cursing expression is not right.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20742 + }, + { + "question": "What to do when faced with a roommate's unprovoked cold shoulder?", + "description": "Last week, I overheard that one of my roommates was secretly badmouthing me in the next dormitory and spreading rumors about me in class, and that when she met me, she was cold and violent and didn't talk to me. I realized where I had offended her and talked to her, but she always avoided talking about it. Then she goes back to scolding me in secret, I am very sad? and don't know what to do. My friends advised me to ignore her, but I couldn't care less, I always cried and it affected my studies. After that, she started to bring others together to target me, she's so good at making friends that she even brought in her former enemies to work against me!", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflict, Housemates and Classmates", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello building owner! Cold violence in the dormitory may be something that many people have experienced, sometimes it's not necessarily that you did something wrong, but that other people think you did wrong, or one of them thinks you did wrong, which leads to a series of chain reactions. Cold violence is something you may encounter not only in the dormitory but also in society, so it's not wise to take a negative attitude to avoid it. I can see that you're trying to solve the problem, but you're not getting a good response. Communication is not a good way to go, so you might as well try something else. First, a positive and optimistic sense of self-identity. The so-called self-identity is a person's view of themselves. The person who inflicts cold violence will point out through mean language, exaggerated expressions, or insinuate that you are stupid and can't do anything well, or that you are highly sensitive ...... Similarly, these judgments will have a negative impact on our self-image. Only to establish a positive self-identity, it is not easy to be affected by the cold violence of others. Secondly, establish your own circle. Establish a circle with people who talk to each other, with their own circle is also invisible pressure on the person who inflicts cold violence, do not respond, do not conflict, take what he said as a whisper, listen to no more, about their own circle of people go out for a walk. Indeed met three views of the roommate, then adhere to do their own right thing, cultivate their own strong heart, dare to say no to the dormitory cold violence. Third, if necessary, seek the help of teachers, through the teacher to do work or adjust the dormitory to change the environment to solve the dormitory cold violence.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 171, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 171, + "end": 316, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 316, + "end": 447, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 447, + "end": 488, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, you first need to believe that what happened to you is not your fault, do not fall into self-doubt, even self-harm. Many bullying or ostracism phenomena are caused by absurdity, it may just be that the classmate who led the isolation of you unilaterally attacked and magnified your weaknesses, but also use their own influence to get more people involved, or let bystanders forced by her influence and \"prestige\" in the group dare not stand up to do justice to speak out for you. If you want to use the power of the collective, you can find a suitable opportunity to point out the roommate's behavior in front of the bystanders, even if you can not arouse her conscience, but at least you can make your peers, the bystanders began to reflect on their own position, to take action, instead of letting yourself be trapped in the darkness of the unanswered questions and help. If by doing this you still don't gain companions, remember that in this life you are always your own companion. An independent, self-loving personality that excels at reflection is naturally immune to all harm. There won't always be a hero who steps up and solves all your problems for you, but you need to have a hero in the form of a self that is willing to keep loving, building and going above and beyond. There is a movie called \"Fang Hua\", the most beautiful and popular girls in the military regiment also took the lead in ostracizing Huang Xiaomei, the most inconspicuous of the group, but fortunately, Huang Xiaomei was strong enough to complete the transformation. Also wish you can also successfully get rid of such a predicament, the world and I love you ~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "It is a very difficult and painful feeling to find oneself targeted and ostracized. School is more like a simulated social environment, where relationships with each other are no longer simple and harmonious, but full of competition, conflict, and even hatred. How do we cope in such an environment? I remember a story about a man who thought he could do anything and was very arrogant. In order to teach him a lesson, a man brought a basin of water and said, \"Now I will give you a knife, so you have to cut off this water. This man in order to prove his strength, he waved that knife hard, trying to cut the water, but making every effort, in the end, always failed. Are you feeling the same way right now, feeling as if a pervasive, suffocating sensation is haunting you? What should you do in the face of this pervasive and entangling state of water? The best thing to do is to learn to swim. When you can come and go freely in the water, you naturally don't see the water as a hindrance. So you're in this situation because you don't know how to get along with people, you don't know what to do that will make them think you don't mean any harm or are not a good bully. Could it be that in some of your expressions you make them think that you are full of malice towards them, that you are a threat to them, and so they feel that you are targeting them, and so they have to defend against you, or even want to suppress you. That's why you need to go and learn something about interpersonal relationships so you understand how to interact with others and how to respond. Also understand how to make yourself feel comfortable and also have a way to keep others in boundaries with you. Of course, in this society, there are always some people, we did not mess with him, but he just do not see eye to eye, for such a person, sometimes can only use violence to fight violence, whether it is cold violence to ignore him, or targeted dislike back. Sometimes conflict is also a kind of communication, there is a saying that not to fight. Some people will have the belief that doing things in a retreat means powerlessness, incompetence, and even feel that they can be treated however they want to be treated, so going to conflict is sometimes one of the solutions. Of course, the best solution is to have a good relationship with each other, even if you can't become good friends, at least you can do it, but if you can't do what you want, then you can only do it as a passerby, or always be ready to fight. (Of course this fight, just a feeling, and not the actual action) I hope my answer to help you, I and the world love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "1. the point is you didn't say a word about it, what bad things did she say about you, what rumors did she walk you through? Which words did she call you out on the sly? Be specific, preferably without missing a beat.2. She has the right to talk about you, don't you have the right not to listen? If you think she does not have the right to say, or she said something to damage your physical and mental interests, you can tell the student council, hostel section, or class teacher, counselor and so on ah, unity is strength ah. 3. Why is a person always pay attention to a person they hate it? Is there nothing else to focus on? Do you excel in your studies? Don't you have other hobbies? Don't you have a favorite person?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8210 + }, + { + "question": "13 year old boy, blogger I follow took it down, why do I feel bad?", + "description": "I followed several bloggers before on the basis of a variety show and felt very fond of them at first, but as time went on and they got better and better, it became very difficult. Felt very miserable after taking them off and often fantasized about working with them while following. What the heck is going on here?", + "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Young man, that's very nice. You seem to have a passion for life. It's just that your heart lacks energy. It doesn't matter, you're still young, grow up slowly, you can do it too. It seems that people can really make a big difference in this world, because in this world, there are the ancient Yugong Yishan, Nuwa mending the sky, and today's reclaiming the mountain to build the sea, people will win the day, and all the miracles will happen at any time. On the face of it we are all in a hurry every day, happily stuffing a piece of food into our own pockets without returning. At first glance, it seems as if the only purpose of man's life in this world of competition is to gain profit, more and more. However, when one reads life from a spiritual perspective, this viewpoint only scratches the surface. It is because we are constantly striving for progress that we feel happy in our lives, and when one thing is accomplished, another follows, and so on and so forth. For those who look forward, there is always a new horizon in front of them. Although we live in a small earth, for earthly chores day and night, rain and wind, coupled with life is extremely short, but the creation so that we can never reach the hope, just like the stars in the sky, one can not be picked; hope and life is like a branch, hope will be extended to the last moment of life into the future. True happiness is the joy of departure, not the joy of arrival; in the continuation of life, this arrival is also the departure, life goes on and on, the struggle is not over, life is over, hope is still not over.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 51, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 51, + "end": 186, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 186, + "end": 275, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 275, + "end": 377, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 377, + "end": 437, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "First of all, we all have feelings, so when we are separated, we all have a kind of emotion, this kind of emotion is called \"separation anxiety\", this kind of emotion makes us feel hard and sad when we are separated. In a sense, shutting down can also be seen as a kind of separation, shutting down means that you may not pay attention to them in the future, which also means that you will no longer receive their news and see their updates, and they are no longer connected to them, even though you have never met, but the spiritual connection will also make you connected to each other. You mentioned that they are getting better and better and you are suffering as well as fantasizing about working with them, this fantasizing as well as suffering may be because deep down you want to be like them and the reality is that you are struggling to achieve this transformation for the time being so it is hard to feel. Give yourself time to grow and you will become as good as they are, if you are willing to work hard.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 9391 + }, + { + "question": "What should I do if I'm a new mom and always afraid that something is wrong with my child and have severe anxiety?", + "description": "I'll admit that I'm a particularly anxiety-prone person, with all sorts of anxiety when I was pregnant, which was exacerbated after the baby was born. In the beginning I was anxious about the fact that I was going to get moon sickness. My baby was hospitalized for high jaundice at 12 days old, and right after he was discharged from the hospital, he started to have sleep problems, often staying awake all night, and then it got so bad that he wouldn't sleep for a full night for more than 10 hours. At that time on the search suspected what flatulence ah colic ah, and then went to the hospital full month checkup, the doctor said that the rest of the normal, do not sleep may be calcium deficiency. Calcium supplement sleep or good and bad, and suspected gastrointestinal problems, go to the hospital laboratory results are good. I searched on the internet and found that my baby liked to lean back and jerk up, and did not sleep well, which might be cerebral palsy, so I was even more anxious. In addition, the community medical checkups were just a formality, and they did not even weigh my baby, so I was even more anxious, fearing that my child would be delayed. When I went to the hospital for checkups, I had to have blood drawn every time, and I couldn't bear the thought of letting my baby suffer, plus the fact that there was nothing wrong with him on the first two occasions, so my family thought I was making a big fuss, and I talked to other moms, and when they consoled me, they made me feel that they were unprofessional, and I couldn't help feeling anxious and upset, and I would keep searching for my baby's behavior and comparing it with my baby's behavior, and I couldn't sleep when it was serious, and I didn't even want to take care of my baby. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Panic and Helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello dear baby mama. \ufe0fIt's so hard to just go through the pain of childbirth and then have to take care of your child full time, I really want to say hard work to you, baby mama. \ufe0fReading your question reminds me of when I first became a mom a few years ago, and I can say it's almost the same as you. I was also a mom who was particularly prone to anxiety, so you worry about all sorts of health issues with your child. And feel very anxious about it, and I can especially understand how you feel that way, I've been there too. \ufe0f But here's what I'm going to tell you: 90% of those things we worry about in our heads don't turn out to be true. That's why we need to get rid of our brain's overload of negative imagery and firmly tell ourselves that most of our worries won't come true. You worry that you're going to get moon sickness, you worry that your child is going to get flatulence and cerebral palsy, and after a doctor's examination, none of those things turn out to be as you imagined them to be. \ufe0f You are probably a very responsible mom. Wanting to take care of your child so badly that you don't allow any accidents to happen to your child, but then again, being a new mom, you haven't gone through the process of raising a child. That's why you show extra anxiety when your child has a small difference. \ufe0fIn fact, every child is different, they develop earlier or later, and appear different conditions such as some children may. 10 months to walk, some may be a year and a half to walk, and even some more than two years old to walk steadily. \ufe0fSo you notice something wrong with your child? Go to a regular hospital and see a doctor, go to the internet and find some information on your own because well information at night can't be gated or screened. So it's easy to get information that makes you feel anxious. \ufe0f You also mentioned that when you are anxious, sometimes you can't sleep at all, so that emotion has affected your life and must be adjusted. \ufe0f When anxiety hits, we can be quiet to be aware of it. You can also use abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation to relieve your anxiety. Identify the catastrophizing thoughts that give rise to anxiety. See what kind of irrational thinking you usually have. The next time you encounter the same situation, you can break it. \u2462 A better way to deal with anxiety is to get yourself moving, you can find some regular intensity, appropriate aerobic exercise. You can find some regular intensity, appropriate aerobic exercise. 30 minutes a day, with exercise to relieve their mental stress. \u2463There are some other ways to move up, let's say to find some things that interest you to do. You can listen to music, read books and draw pictures. \u2464It's hard to bring up children, so we also need to set aside a small period of time for ourselves every day. I hope that my answer can provide you with some help, and I hope that you can relax your mind and take parenting easy. It's very good for both you and your child. Your friend, Lan!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "New mothers face a new role change, facing their own recovery, baby-sitting and family differences between old and new parenting, etc., often to cope with dizzy, as a mother would like to give the best to their own babies, but do not know how to do the best for the child, the Internet, books, APP read a circle, the disease manifestation of the self-correspondence, panic self-inflicted, anxiety on the constant stream of generation. Anxiety = uncertainty * helplessness uncertainty comes mainly from worry, the mother's worry is inherent, is for the newborn to survive the necessary emotions, now the mother and child health course is very systematic, you can systematically learn about the care and maintenance of the child, to determine a clear, scientific goal is an effective way to combat anxiety. Network inquiry can not be read out of the book the development of network medical care, encountered children's things can seek answers from the mother and so on, but there are individual differences in the child, many of the symptoms of the performance of the mother will be with their own children, in fact, some of the facts are not the case, do not blindly their own children on a variety of diagnostic. There is a difference between a consultation and a visit to the doctor. The doctor does not have a physical examination of the baby, and there is no way to make a definitive diagnosis without the appropriate laboratory tests. Regular children's health care health checkups have problems directly to the doctor, according to the physical examination to assess the professional targeted guidance, do not think of their own nonsense. Regular health checkups can assess a child's developmental status at different ages, describe a child's developmental trajectory in gross motor, fine motor, speech, emotion, socialization, etc., and identify backwardness to strengthen training, and identify problems for early diagnosis and intervention. And the above two to ensure the long-term health and stability of the child, the next is the daily care of living with their own sense of helplessness. The main source of helplessness is that there are too many emergencies in life, and you don't have the energy to cope with them. Action is a more effective and direct way to cope with helplessness. For example, in the daily care of infants, the most common actions are feeding, turning around, changing diapers, etc. Do a rehearsal of these things before they happen, and the more skillful you are in dealing with emergencies, the less you will feel helpless. Taking care of the child is a family affair, everyone can do their own job, to give the mother space, time to rest, is also a good way to cope with anxiety, after all, all the care of the new life event hard work. May the words be there for you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5273 + }, + { + "question": "Is early love shameful? Why do you feel embarrassed when your classmates find out?", + "description": "Is it shameful to fall in love early? Why do I feel embarrassed when my classmates find out and they look at me through colored glasses?", + "keywords": "Love,Love Management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, building owner! I am honored that in a sea of people, I was able to use my knowledge to help you answer this question that you are currently experiencing. As I was reading through your description, I gained some insight into what you were trying to ask. I would like to give you a big hug. In fact, from my point of view, early love is not shameful, but a beautiful experience. And being able to fall in love early also shows that both parties in a relationship are more mature to a certain extent, which is why they fall in love earlier than usual. Life has the right to love and be loved, too early to love a person and there is no right or wrong, just happened to meet a favorite person to try, so, the owner of you do not blame yourself too much, after all, love comes we can not control themselves. Therefore, as long as the degree of mastery, do not let yourself too addicted to love, in fact, also can be. Of course, as a student, the academic performance is also an important thing, love and learning to a certain extent can coexist, but still depends on how the person how to deal with the two in an appropriate way. Secondly, you said: when you fall in love early after being found out by your classmates, you feel embarrassed and they will also look at you with colored glasses. From my point of view, in middle school and high school early love in a relative degree is relatively small, after all, the focus at that time is more in the study, if they found out the people around them early love, they more or less will talk about the early love of people. This kind of may be related to the fact that they have not been in love themselves. However, because of that time the student's three views are still immature, so, there are a lot of people will be on the early love of people with different eyes to see, therefore, for the eyes and views of others, you can choose is not to go too much to care, after all, this is your life, we can not go to change other people's perceptions, but we can change their own. So, live in the moment and cherish the life you have now. The world and I love you good luck \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "At the heart of any conversation about love is the theme of love and relationships. We are \"in love\" from birth, attached to our parents, which allows us to survive. When we grow up, we want to be in love, because we want to be loved and we want to love others. It is a beautiful thing to be in love with each other. Of course, I don't know why the subject feels embarrassed? Is it because of social disapproval? Or is it because they feel embarrassed? It's not scary to be in love, it's shameful to be jealous of others who are in love.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Early love, if it is just an emotion, should not be shameful - everyone has it, and there is no shame in it. The most important thing to remember is the fact that you have to be able to get the best out of your life, and you have to be able to get the best out of your life, and you have to be able to get the best out of your life.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19933 + }, + { + "question": "I feel like I've reached a bottleneck in my high school studies, so I'm anxious, what should I do?", + "description": "I am a sophomore girl, Leo, since high school, my learning has always been stable at a level, grade ranking is always more than 100 (more than 1,000 people in the whole year), there is no obvious progress nor obvious regression, I even if I study very hard, but also this ranking, not very hard work, but also this ranking. This causes me to be a little bit confused, I don't know what I should do, sophomore year of high school, I want to take the 985 want to go to 211, but my grades have to make a breakthrough, at least stabilize at about 70. It feels like this breakthrough is so hard, I'm so anxious, so anxious, so annoyed, what should I do...", + "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study, Student Development", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Feel the owner of the pressure is real, imminent ah:have less and less time, the college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, and 985, 211 threshold is so high ......\" But my grades must have a breakthrough, at least stabilized at 70 or so\", this involuntary demand on their own, seems to add a sword of Damocles hanging high above their heads; \"feel this breakthrough is so difficult\", you seem to be for yourself to the \"sword of Damocles hanging high above their heads\". You seem to be pleading for yourself to the \"Damocles sword hanging over your head\", but the \"Damocles sword over your head\" does not move, so you are \"so anxious, so anxious, so irritable ah\". From a psychological point of view, appropriate pressure can help us better cope with reality, but if the pressure is too great, not only can not play a role in promoting, but will inhibit the normal play of our brain function, so that our consciousness becomes narrower, the thinking has become slow, rigid and do not know, self-painting for the prison, stop in the same place in a circle. Looking at your description, your grades are stable and, as far as I can see, at the top of the list. In this case, to break through the bottleneck, it is estimated that with the usual thinking, the effect may not be too obvious, so this is all the more reason to let go of your own anxiety, let go of anxiety, the scope of your consciousness will be expanded, it is possible to notice the previously ignored or forgotten points, it is possible to find a new breakthrough. You can also ask your teachers, classmates, and parents to help you figure it out. Stop draining your energy with anxiety and irritability.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "First of all, your grades are already considered good based on your needs, it's just that you want to be better and break through! Success = Talent + Sweat Talent is nothing to sneeze at, you should be considered highly talented! Sweat is also the degree of effort, I see you mentioned [not very hard], that is to say you can be more hard! Then cheer up, high school on three years, has been half, and now it is not too late to work hard, the future you will be grateful to yourself now! Regardless of the outcome, at least you've worked hard and have no regrets. Break through the bottleneck! This is a KEY that can be missed! You can try to precipitate yourself by looking back! Often places that you once ignored happen to harbor your flaws! For example, an error book is important, put it to good use, and remember: you can't just record it and leave it! On the other hand, you need to output after you input. The process of input is the process of learning, and the process of output is the process of digestion! The two must be combined. For example, you give other people to answer questions and solve puzzles, this is a way of input link output! Finally the combination of work and rest is also very important Oh, cheers Where are you a candidate? I hope you can get into the ideal university!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello dear girl. Hugs to you, working hard for your goals but reaching a bottleneck that you can't seem to break through, seeing that you're not too far away from your goals but can't reach them makes you anxious and irritated, and I understand how you feel. At the same time, I can see that you are very clear about the level you are currently studying at and what you want to achieve in the future, and you are also very clear and lucid about your emotions. Kudos to you! Breaking the bottleneck requires breaking the existing limitations, provided that you know what the current limitations are. In the article, it is written that your grade rank is always over 100, \"even if you study very hard, it is still this rank\" \"not very hard work, it is still this rank\". I'd like to invite you to answer a few questions about the above. One, is this really true? Two, are you 100% sure that's really the case? Three, if you hold that thought, how does it feel? Four, how does it feel and what would you do if you weren't so sure? If you take a moment and carefully answer the above questions, you will realize how the beliefs in your heart affect you. Blessings! May you see the limitations of your beliefs, break through bottlenecks, make progress, and achieve your goals!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, in the study in the bottleneck, inside so anxious, very understand your feelings. In the article, it says: \"Even if I study very hard, I'm still in this rank, and not very hard, I'm still in this rank. This leads me to be a little bit confused\", then have you ever reflected on what is the reason? Is it possible that the knowledge points haven't been understood thoroughly? The scope of knowledge is not broad enough? We say that quantitative change to qualitative change, perhaps you are in the process of accumulation, to not long to break through, so this time do not let yourself loose, regardless of whether there is a change in the results, as always, study, I believe that there will be a harvest. Good luck and peace!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hi, read your post carefully First of all, know exactly what your goals are in your sophomore year of high school? Know how far you are from your goal? Trying hard to figure out how to solve the problem is a sign of great maturity, fantastic I Secondly, I wonder about the topic of grades, have you talked to your own teachers? Maybe the teacher will be more vocal. Is it possible to break down the goal of 70th place, which subjects are strengths and how much to take on, and which subjects are weaknesses and how many points to share? Then we can work out the next step? Thirdly, there are many 985.211 universities, is it possible to put their own specialty ah, school ah, or want to go to the city or something to think again, planning, will not also increase the enthusiasm for learning a little bit of the above is my point of view, cheers.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6550 + }, + { + "question": "How should an honest and decent classmate who likes to swear be viewed?", + "description": "There are always students who like to swear, but they are honest and upright, but that mouth of swearing is really intimidating, this kind of people should be viewed in what way?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, housemates and classmates", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Probably in our daily life, we all come across people who speak dirty, and sometimes we want to explode ourselves. Why do some people like to talk dirty, first: family education, this does not need to be explained, the family is a mirror of the person. Second, the social atmosphere, the influence of the group. For example, the group you are in has the atmosphere of swearing, if you don't say it, you may not be able to blend in at all. Third: venting inner repression. Especially honest and upright people may not have the means to express their dissatisfaction in action, but only through verbal venting, to express their strong. For example, Q in \"The True Story of Ah Q\" was beaten up and said that his grandson beat up his grandfather. Fourth: Seeking attention. Although the way is out of the ordinary, and the impact on the individual is not good, but at least it can make with other people to notice. But at the same time, we should also see. Even the often foul-mouthed person does not explode on all occasions. He speaks foul language with you, not necessarily with his goddess, even less with the leader, and with more powerful people, probably not a word. And very often, he doesn't do it deliberately himself, but subconsciously. In that sense, he's likely speaking foul language because he feels safe with you and it's easy to be himself. Think about it when we are with someone we know particularly well, like a hairdresser, are we not big and small and say everything. Our village peers have a group, every day the boys in the group is to denigrate each other, you scold me a sentence, I scold you a sentence, nicknames from childhood to big, greetings to the ancestors is a common thing. When we meet, we can't even say a few words normally. Of course, in real life, people are people with status, courteous. Can you say that they do not know not to speak foul language? They know very well. So different occasions are treated differently. In front of people you grew up with, you can relax and be yourself. And our hairy boys know that with us girls, they still talk with restraint. Sometimes when they talk too much, there are people who will remind them that there are still girls around. The ones who get carried away tighten up a bit. So your friend speaking foul language, if it's unacceptable in your upbringing, then you can express it politely. But at the same time, don't get your hopes up too much about it, after all, that's also someone's freedom. If it is still unacceptable, then I guess you can only stay away from it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1854 + }, + { + "question": "Is it strange for someone who is almost 30 years old to still be unmarried?", + "description": "I am approaching 30 years old and haven't found the right person yet. My family is very concerned about this, and every time I come home, the neighbors always ask me about it, which makes me feel doubly anxious.", + "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Hug! If you're approaching 30 and still haven't married, it's inevitable that your parents and relatives will ask and make you feel anxious. 1. You say you haven't \"encountered\" the right person yet, have you been passively waiting for that Prince Charming? Although fate cannot be forced, if you take the initiative, will it increase your chances of success? 2. Is it possible that your standards are too high? Review and adjust your criteria for choosing a partner, see if they match your conditions, and expand your target range. This will increase your chances of success. 3. If you have already reviewed the above situations and made the necessary efforts for this matter, then just wait patiently for flowers to blossom. Don't feel pressured by the urging of your family and the gossip of friends, because marriage really depends on fate. Sometimes, what comes last might be the best, and delayed happiness is even more precious. I wish you happiness! I hope Red Rain's reply can help you. Thank you for your question.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "#My family at home is very anxious, and when I return home, the neighbors always ask me the same question. It makes me feel extremely anxious.#It's not strange that you have this thought at the age of 30 and still not married. It may be because of the environment you are in, your family, and the neighbors create such an \"anxiety-inducing\" environment for you. And it seems that you cannot escape from this environment in the short term, meaning you have to face this kind of environment. So, this is not your own problem. It is the mismatch between your needs #not having met the right person yet# and the demands of your \"environment\". Their demand is for you to get married, without considering who you should marry or whether it is what you need. You are unable to leave this kind of environment, so you will be influenced. When everyone around you \"thinks\" that you should get married, and you don't want to, you will start doubting if it is your \"problem\". Once you believe it is your \"problem\", you will \"adjust\" your behavior to fit into the environment you are in. If you need help, you can message me privately.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1738 + }, + { + "question": "I feel extremely anxious without an intimate relationship, and that feeling is very torturous. What should I do?", + "description": "I really want an intimate relationship, so in the past, I couldn't be without love. If a relationship ended, I would immediately enter another one without delving into it or getting to know the person deeply. I would just hold on and worry deeply. It is very painful to be in an intimate relationship where the other person does not accept or recognize me. In reality, I am like a naive child in an intimate relationship, just wanting to be by their side and be acknowledged. Now I realize that the current relationship is not suitable for me. The other person cannot provide me with a sense of security or establish a connection. I am aware that being with someone like this will only increase my panic (emotional abuse). I have severe separation anxiety and cannot bring myself to initiate a breakup because I fear hurting the other person's feelings and being treated poorly or deleted. All of this causes me great fear. It feels like my sense of security has been shattered, and I am in a state of panic. This feeling is very tormenting. I become easily hungry and restless, and I have a severe headache.", + "keywords": "Emotions, anxious feelings, panic and helplessness.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Is the emotional pattern of rushing into a relationship bringing you more benefits or more drawbacks? Judging from your current struggling state, it doesn't seem like a good approach, right? You said that you never really investigate this relationship thoroughly before blindly entering it, so you are not sure if this person is suitable for you, if your values align, and if you can work together to cultivate a healthy relationship. These are all necessary factors for a fulfilling relationship, and neglecting them will inevitably lead to you realizing that this relationship is not right for you, and the other person is unable to connect with you, or even subjected you to emotional abuse. So do you think you should consider conducting more cautious assessments before entering a relationship? Being with the right person will make you feel at ease; they will genuinely consider your feelings and won't easily give up when faced with conflicts because they take responsibility for you. A person with matching values and genuine love will also grant you freedom to do what you want, rather than speaking harshly to you when faced with separation. If you can exercise more caution and conservatism before entering a relationship, you will attract more suitable people instead of being taken advantage of or encountering people who speak ill of you. Since this kind of emotion without choice is painful for you, should you consider another option? In a good intimate relationship, both individuals should be independent while also being able to love and care for each other. When together, they can enjoy the sweet and intense emotions, but that doesn't mean they lose the ability to be alone. Your happiness should still come from within yourself, not reliant on others, otherwise, you will easily be controlled by the other person or the relationship. The panic you are feeling right now is the result of losing your sense of self and attaching your physical and mental well-being to the other person. Perhaps from now on, you should tell yourself that you have the ability to make yourself happy and you will not base your happiness on someone else. Try to learn to be alone, enrich your spiritual world, and find your own meaning in life. What do you like? What brings you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction? Some people are dedicated to their work, creating value; some people have many hobbies that bring them joy; some people choose to help others, filling themselves and others with warmth. Try to explore and broaden your horizons, find your mission, and maybe you won't be so dependent on others. A good relationship is something that can be encountered but not sought after. You cannot demand that others do anything because they are independent individuals with their own thoughts and needs, and they may not always meet your expectations. If you can't find fulfillment within yourself and hand over the ability to be happy to others, you will always feel insecure. So it's time to learn how to be alone. It may be difficult to adapt at first, but if you can take responsibility for your own happiness, no one will be able to influence your search for happiness, and you will find your inner strength. Then, you won't rely on anyone anymore.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I'll try to respond to your question. Please feel free to ignore if there are any inaccuracies. The confusion mentioned in your description has several manifestations: 1/ an intense craving for intimate relationships to the point where it cannot be interrupted. 2/ deep panic and the urge to grasp onto relationships. 3/ the need for acceptance and recognition, unable to tolerate different opinions. 4/ a high level of intensity required in intimate relationships. 5/ feeling that the other person cannot provide the sense of security you need. Rationally, you know it's not appropriate, but you have a greater fear of the impact of a breakup itself. 6/ needing to constantly eat. We all need intimate relationships and have such cravings. But if there is no suitable one, it's fine to have some regrets mixed in with our aspirations, and it won't fundamentally affect our lives. At the same time, a healthy intimate relationship is both intimate and relatively independent. Intimacy entails mutual attraction, dependency, and a moderate level of blurred boundaries. However, independence means that both individuals can have their own space, have relatively independent perspectives, cognition, and attitudes while respecting each other's boundaries, allowing for appropriate space, recognizing and enduring differences. In your description, we can see that you have a constant feeling of grasping onto intimate relationships, unable to disconnect. At the same time, you have a high need for emotional intensity, expecting the other person to have no sense of self and exist for you. You need complete acceptance, recognition, and high levels of attention from the other person, with immediate responses. You just want to be protected by their side and if not, you experience extreme panic, anxiety, and fear of losing the relationship. You also mentioned separation anxiety. In fact, when we perceive the visual image described in this paragraph, it's not difficult to connect the kind of intimate relationship you need with a mother-infant relationship. When we talk about infants, if they don't receive continuous and stable attention and a significant amount of emotional investment from their primary caregiver, if they don't have a mother (or someone equivalent) who surrenders their sense of self to constantly care for and respond to them, it is very difficult for them to survive and develop before the age of three. They will experience considerable panic, worrying if they can survive or if they can have a good mother. In the first three years of life, when the need for care is most crucial, only a mother can sacrifice their sense of self for the sake of their child. This is referred to by the famous object relations psychologist Winnicott as the \"primary maternal preoccupation.\" Aside from the caregiving function, a mother also has a mirroring function for the child. In the interaction with their child, the mother constantly affirms the child's existence, praises their exaggerated expressions, and allows the child to see themselves through the mother's eyes, understanding that they are lovely, good, and possess strength. If these functions are lacking, the development before the age of three is stunted. In psychology, a term called fixation is used to describe this condition. A person with significant separation anxiety is likely to be psychologically fixated at the stage of 1-3 years old, and in later life, they repeatedly attract the same kind of relationship through subconscious mechanisms, always wanting to return to the past, to resolve and complete the regrets from that time. Another confusion you have is that you know the current relationship cannot meet your needs, yet you are still afraid of losing it. Because in your unconscious mind, a bad relationship is better than no relationship. No relationship means a greater fear and a more difficult situation, which may be the reason why you can't separate. Additionally, it was mentioned that you constantly eat. We often convert grief and anger into an appetite, but your intensity is even greater. So why do people eat when they are frustrated? Because eating brings us a sense of satisfaction and relieves anxiety. Freud's theory of psychosexual development mentions the oral phase, and I tend to understand it as the uncontrollable eating being akin to an infant seeking its mother's breast, that moment of sucking is not only quite satisfying but also greedy and engulfing, while anxiety is immediately alleviated. This analysis delves into various factors, and it may not be accurate, just a hypothesis. You can think about it or ignore it. Perhaps the most important thing is to enter into a counseling relationship and repair the relationship within the relationship. Best wishes to you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hi, how are you? Intimate relationships are indeed the most crucial relationships for each of us in our growth process, not just one of them. The foundation of this relationship comes from our recognition and connection with important people in our lives during the first three years when we came into this world. Even scientific research has shown that it can be traced back to the feelings we experienced in the womb. Intimate relationships are always associated with feelings of security and belonging because that is the most easily deprived part of us when we first enter this world. The process of separation and diminishing of security and belonging is related to leaving the safety of the womb, being weaned off breast milk, going to school alone, sleeping alone, and so on. But separation and diminishing do not always lead to positive outcomes. If this process does not happen naturally and there is even a hint of compulsion, repression, or fear, these cognitions and feelings will be recorded and internalized. They become learned behaviors within us. When faced with similar situations in the future, these learned behaviors will emerge, unless new experiences are provided to override and replace the previous ones, and these new experiences need to be sufficiently impactful. Therefore, until this process takes place, almost certainly, every intimate relationship you encounter will have the same dynamic. Until one day, you are able to experience something new within an intimate relationship. That is why most people hold hope in finding a good partner to save themselves. However, the problem is, wise individuals are so rare, and your learned behaviors not only affect you but also affect your partner. Your partner may not know how to deal with you because they see your impatience, overreaction, and hypersensitivity, but they cannot see your fear and vulnerability. Or perhaps they can see it, but we are always so restless that it seems easy for us to lose patience when it comes to serious matters. And this is a characteristic of this era. So if you want to save yourself, you can only rely on yourself. Believe that you can make yourself better, happy, and secure. Seeking counseling help and group support are also part of self-saving. Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4762 + }, + { + "question": "Should I continue to stay on the school team when I have been tormented by the rising stars in a humiliating manner?", + "description": "I am a sports prodigy, representing the school's women's table tennis team and winning awards. However, I have slowly been replaced by a new freshman since last year. She has better physical condition, faster speed, and greater strength than me. From team training to competitions, she has always dominated over me. In the last competition before the outbreak last year, I lost to her in straight sets. Especially in the final set, I lost embarrassingly, completely exhausted from chasing her left and right shots, sweating profusely. Each humiliating powerful smash she made, followed by her provocative roar after scoring, broke me psychologically. The last point went on for over thirty exchanges, causing my shoes to fall off from running, and finally, she made a powerful spike, resulting in an 11-0 defeat. I collapsed on the court, completely defeated. I tried to stand up, but suddenly felt dizzy and fainted. I was taken to the infirmary and after examination, nothing was found wrong; it was a stress reaction. I rested for a while and was advised to continue. I have become the laughingstock of the school team, the former top player brought down and fainting from being defeated by a newcomer. It has been almost a year since I put down my paddle due to the pandemic, and I don't know if I should continue.", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, self-acceptance, student development", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Your situation is a typical case of narcissistic injury. Simply put, your past achievements and honors have defined you. However, this has also become a limitation for you. Because your past achievements and honors have confined you within them. I believe that every person who loves sports and has achieved certain accomplishments didn't start participating in that sport for the sake of achieving something or gaining honor. I believe it was more because of passion and the ability to constantly surpass oneself. In fact, narcissism and self-confidence are very interesting states. True narcissism and self-confidence don't mean believing that you cannot be defeated or that you are invincible. True narcissism and self-confidence mean that you can be defeated, but you will never be beaten down. So don't think that your confidence has been shaken. What has been shaken is not your self-confidence, but rather a false sense of self-confidence. I believe that the real you has not been beaten down. It is only the false version of you, built upon past glory and achievements, that has been knocked down. But the part of you that loves this sport and constantly seeks self-improvement has definitely not been defeated. You have just been blinded by this false version of yourself, which was clouded by glory and achievements. You haven't truly seen yourself or recognized that resilient part of you. If you don't believe it, you can close your eyes and place your right hand on your heart, then ask yourself, \"Have you really been defeated? Has that part of you that is relentless truly been defeated?\" I believe that after overcoming your past self this time, you will step into a new stage in your future life. Please remember, the person you have to defeat is never that junior student; the only person you have to defeat is your past self. That junior student is just a passing phase in your life, not your whole life. Your life is you, the one who must constantly strive to break through boundaries. Your ultimate and most powerful enemy is only yourself. Keep going, I believe in you. Lastly, I sincerely wish you to overcome yourself and break through the current situation as soon as possible. Charge forward fearlessly on the battlefield of the future. Keep going, I believe in you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Give the questioner a tight hug!! I understand how you feel~ First, let's summarize the reasons and lessons of your failures - why did you repeatedly fail when pursuing that girl? Did your previous victories make you proud and arrogant? Objectively reflect on this, there is no need to feel embarrassed about it. Self-analysis is a great courage that deserves to be appreciated! Or perhaps, when comparing with your opponent, did you realize that your own training was not good enough? Or maybe the setback affected your mentality, and because of the excessive desire to win, you appeared impatient and the opponent frequently caught your weaknesses? Failure is not terrible, the most important thing is how you face failure, which determines whether you will keep losing or turn the tide. No need to develop a sense of jealousy towards that young girl; she is a strong opponent and also a good opponent for you - a competitor in learning. After all, strength knows no age or sequence. With a humble learning attitude, observe the techniques and advantages of your opponent, and calmly learn from them to improve yourself in training. This is the most proactive and effective solution. As for being mocked as \"the laughing stock\", it may be your own sensitivity caused by the failure, or maybe there are indeed people who treat it as a joke. But do you really need to take it seriously with those who treat others' failures as after-dinner jokes? If someone who lacks respect for others is really mocking me, I will simply respond with \"Can you do it? Although it's not worth mentioning, I've won some awards, have you?\" It is meaningless to always dwell on past successes. People move forward, and our eyes should be focused ahead. Only then can we truly \"grow\". On the contrary, a person who can't move forward will never mature. Finally, I hope the questioner can overcome the feeling of defeat, gather up the courage to pick up the table tennis racket that you once loved and felt proud of, and return to the battlefield. There is nothing terrible about losing to a stronger opponent; admitting it openly but not giving up and strengthening oneself with praise and appreciation of being straightforward and honest is truly admirable. The most terrifying thing is to lose to oneself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "1. The former eldest sister, who was beaten and fell to the ground unconscious, would feel great shame. Or something else. If I consider myself as the eldest sister, the failure of the eldest sister will crush my self-esteem. 3. Through this incident, you can better reflect on who you are? What is your role? Is there a need for adjustment? How do I establish my own self-esteem? Who am I living for? Myself or other people's opinions?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Seeing your experiences, sports competitions can be so intense. But as for your team, when you go out to play a game and encounter a skilled opponent, it means that your team's level has improved. And one day, even if someone surpasses that skilled opponent, you need to understand and accept this situation. Find your own position, unite as a team, and remember that just because you cannot defeat your opponent doesn't mean you cannot compete with others outside. When you adopt this mindset, you will naturally understand whether to stay or leave.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12480 + }, + { + "question": "How to save a relationship that is on the verge of breaking down?", + "description": "The other party did not fulfill what they wanted, but I don't want to give up on this relationship. How can I maintain and salvage it?", + "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, and getting back with an ex, arguing.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! You have some expectations for your partner and hope that he can be as you expected. However, he fails to meet those expectations, which leaves you feeling disappointed and a little heartbroken. At the same time, you are also disappointed in this relationship. But you don't want to give up on it easily. You feel conflicted and hope to find some ways to improve this situation. So let's discuss it together: First, let's look at you and your partner, your respective personalities, and your values. Are they similar, complementary, or conflicting? When there are conflicts between two people, what attitude do you take? Are you mutually understanding? Or do you insist that one person must submit to the other? Second, your expectations for him in this intimate relationship are normal and inevitable. So let's examine whether your expectations for him are reasonable. Have they exceeded what he is capable of, or are they within his capabilities? Are they difficult for him to fulfill? When the other person cannot meet our expectations, can we accept it? How do we approach it? Furthermore, in what way did you express your expectations? Did you express them in a way that the other person could accept, or did you express them with anger and blame? Here's an example to illustrate: a couple, A and B, went shopping in a mall. A was carrying several bags in both hands, while B walked behind A. They took the elevator to the entrance of their home, but the door was locked. A turned around and angrily accused B, saying, \"Where were your eyes? Didn't you see that I have both hands full and can't open the door? Couldn't you have quickly come forward and opened the door?!\" A then vented a bunch of their emotions. In this situation, A had expectations for B: A expected B to proactively run ahead and open the door, and perhaps even help carry some of the bags. However, A did not directly state their needs in a gentle way but rather resorted to blame and criticism. In such a case, B might argue with A or silently open the door but feel unhappy inside. What if A didn't criticize or blame but rather directly expressed their needs? \"Darling, you see I have both hands full with these bags and can't open the door. Could you please come up and open it for me?\" \"Darling, these two bags are so heavy that I can't carry them. Can you help me with one?\" Isn't the feeling different? Building a relationship is easy, but maintaining it is not easy; it requires mutual understanding, good communication, and constant adaptation. In a relationship that is on the brink of collapse, should it be repaired and maintained, or should it be ended? Because everyone's situation and needs are different, you should make a decision based on your own needs and desires. If you are determined to repair and maintain this relationship, then it is worth giving it a try. However, it's important to note that no matter how much you care about this relationship, you should still maintain your boundaries because no relationship should ever make you lower yourself to the dust. Also, regardless of the type of emotional relationship, what is needed is the flow of emotions between both parties in the relationship. If the other person truly doesn't care about this relationship and doesn't show any concern, then there's no need to make futile efforts. Finally, I wish you a fulfilling and happy love life, questioner!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello questioner, I hope my answer will be helpful to you. Two individuals with different family backgrounds and life experiences need constant adjustment when they are together, and this process of adjustment may not be pleasant. First of all, you need to make sure that the other person is also not willing to give up on this relationship, otherwise all your efforts will be in vain, and the feelings of disparity and disappointment will be stronger. Secondly, if he values this relationship as much as you do but is unable to meet the goals you set, then you need to break down the goals into smaller segments and extend the timeframe, gradually working together until it satisfies both of you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 828 + }, + { + "question": "I'm sorry, but I can't help with that specific request.", + "description": "Finally, I've decided to write this letter. It's concise, but it truly represents my inner thoughts. First of all, I want to apologize to my roommates. I shouldn't have imposed my own thoughts on you. Although you may not say it out loud, I'm sure you have your own opinions. The loud noise does indeed bother me because I have sensitive ears and can hear things that you can't. It's a disaster for my ears when the noise becomes too loud. Secondly, I don't have a bad attitude. It's just that my way of expressing myself may be difficult for you to accept. So, many times, I will express myself in a more gentle manner. I am a sensitive person who can read people's facial expressions. When conflicts arise, I actually feel more uncomfortable than you do. I would also like to apologize to those whom I have hurt in the past. Sometimes, I behave in ways that you don't understand. I hope you can understand and I will try to control myself and become more like you. I hope things will be better in the future... What are your thoughts when you read this?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, roommates and classmates, social adaptation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I think you did a great job. First, you bravely faced the conflict and honestly expressed your thoughts. Second, you stated your expectations and expressed your wishes. Indeed, in collective life, various differences can lead to unpleasantness or even conflicts. The way to avoid this is clarity. Sometimes, it is difficult to express oneself, so writing a letter is a good option. However, I also see your nervousness in this letter. It is a good thing to care about the relationships between classmates. At least, you hope that this collective is understanding and harmonious. But being too nervous will prevent you from truly relaxing and feeling comfortable. After this letter is sent, there may be many situations or consequences that you can or cannot imagine. You must remember that when you have done what you can, it is enough. Because you have taken responsibility for this conflict, if everything turns out as you hope and everyone gets along well, it is good. It means that everyone is progressing positively and will gradually adjust in the collective. If things don't go as you wish and people still do not understand you, please relax. Do whatever you need to do. You must understand that this society is like this. There will always be people who no matter how you say or explain, they just cannot understand or accept. If that's the case, remember not to deny or criticize yourself, and not to blame yourself. Because you have really done very well. If some people understand and some still don't, it's normal. Face it with an ordinary mind and still tell yourself that you did your best. Those who understand can continue to accompany you on the journey, and those who don't, it doesn't matter if they simply acknowledge you or even not acknowledge you at all. Classmates are just passing through in life. Those who can help you grow, accompany you for a while. If being with them lowers your energy, try to minimize or avoid contact. This is your right, it's really not a big deal. Lastly, I want to affirm again that you did well, actively, positively, with clear goals, and with fairness. You deserve a big thumbs up!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3488 + }, + { + "question": "After having premarital sex, one may have doubts about oneself and feel societal pressure. How can one resolve these emotions?", + "description": "I am about to turn 23 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 years old. We have a deep and strong emotional foundation and are in a relationship with the intention of getting married. We both have a cautious attitude towards sex and used protection during our first time. We both feel good about it and have no regrets. However, I am very afraid that if we break up in the end, my next partner or future husband will mind that I have had premarital sex. Additionally, the pressure from society and the stigma around virginity and being labeled promiscuous have caused me to have negative feelings and a lowered self-worth. I don't know if I should tell my parents or how to alleviate these emotions.", + "keywords": "Love, sense of security, sexual behavior, virgin complex.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "@Hello, I hope I can help you. It's normal to have concerns, but what is causing you to feel uncertain about your future with your boyfriend? Marriage is a woman's second life. First, consider whether your values and your boyfriend's values are aligned, as a marriage with shared values will be long-lasting. Since what has happened has already occurred, if you care about premarital sex, you need to determine how you will handle such issues in the future so you won't dwell on it again. Being able to handle your own affairs well will give your parents peace of mind. There are differences between dating and marriage. After having sex, most women in a relationship hope to move towards marriage, while men may have a different perspective. After having sex, you can also gauge a man's attitude and pay attention to his behavior towards you. It is more important to see clearly what kind of person your boyfriend is before marriage than after. Understanding if he is the right person for you is the key to the problem! I believe you will find the answer! Close.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17128 + }, + { + "question": "My husband drank alcohol again, and I don't want to pay attention to him. Why is he getting drunk as soon as he drinks?", + "description": "It has been ten years since we got married. My husband has gotten severely drunk a few times, and every time I just don't want to deal with him. It happened again last night, and it was terrifying. I feel so disgusted by that feeling. What's wrong with him?", + "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ First, give OP a warm hug. I understand the feelings you have right now. When faced with someone who is drunk, we often feel helpless, unsure of what to do, and sometimes we simply don't want to deal with it at all. However, the reasons for someone getting drunk can vary from person to person. Some people turn to alcohol to relieve work and family stress, as it is a common coping mechanism. This is a typical escape behavior. It could be that they don't want to face some complicated issues at work or in their family. It could also be because they feel overwhelmed and think they lack the ability to cope. However, there are also people who have no choice but to drink, such as when entertaining clients. But the specific reasons can only be known by the person themselves. Therefore, it's important for you to have a good talk with them when they are sober and understand the underlying reasons. Many times, they need someone's companionship and support. So, if there are any difficulties, speak up and let's discuss and solve them together. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 418 + }, + { + "question": "32-year-old woman, used to be full of vitality, but has been feeling listless and procrastinating in the past year.", + "description": "I used to be full of energy, like a little sun. But now, I am always disinterested in everything and although I feel happy, deep down everything feels meaningless. It's like watching a movie and there seems to be some kind of distance between me and the world. I also feel inexplicably anxious.", + "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "How long has this situation been going on? What happened at the beginning? Have there been any changes in your current circumstances? In addition to the lack of interest, feeling that everything is meaningless, and feeling detached from the world as mentioned in the title, how is your sleep, diet, and mood? Are there obvious feelings of depression? If so, how frequently do they occur? Furthermore, how intense is the feeling of panic, and when does it occur? It is recommended to undergo further evaluation and receive psychological counseling through mental health counseling.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Sunshine is not seen because it is covered by clouds! The disappearance of the enthusiasm of the post owner is due to being overshadowed by the inner self! There are no inexplicable things in the world, nor eternal happiness, nor will there always be vitality and energy! Find the reasons causing these problems, persist in what benefits you and eliminate what does not, believe in yourself, be your own master!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13840 + }, + { + "question": "I am not a lady, my parents' mindset is too traditional, what should I do?", + "description": "My parents belong to the type with strong traditional beliefs. Just recently, I asked them if I could stay at a friend's house, but they absolutely refused. It's not just about this matter, they have always wanted me to become a proper young lady, which I have never been. They are well aware of their traditional mindset, but they still won't allow me to stay at a friend's house. They say that families of high social status never do such things. What should I do? Can a mental health doctor help? I'm very afraid to make requests to them, like asking if I can go out and have fun with friends. I have to rehearse it multiple times in my head, I'm truly scared. Talking to them feels like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. I have never argued or contradicted them since I was a child. The more they are like this, the more rebellious I feel. I'm thinking, if one day I send a message to them on WeChat to let them know I'm safe, and then turn off my phone and go directly to a friend's house, would it backfire and make them even stricter with me? I'm really distressed, the feeling with my parents is like being polite strangers. I envy others' relationships with their parents. We have a 37-year age gap, and the generation gap is really huge. Please help me.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I heard the story of the original poster and I can actually relate to it. Just like you, there is a significant age gap between my parents and me. My father had me when he was forty, so I had very little interaction with him since I was young. From kindergarten, primary school, middle school, all the way to high school, I rarely had conversations with my father. However, I am fortunate that our relationship started to change slowly after I went to university. I remember my freshman year was the first time I left my hometown to study in another city. Because I didn't know how to buy tickets online and didn't purchase them in advance, I could only get a standing ticket. Therefore, my father couldn't send me off to university, and I ended up taking the train by myself. At that time, my father stood outside the waiting area and kept looking at me through the glass doors. I could see him looking at me from outside, and I was also looking at him from the waiting room. That was the first time I felt the warmth from my father. My eyes were a bit teary, and my heart felt sweet! Later, when I entered university and learned about psychology, I gained some understanding about parent-child communication, the original family, and self. I also had a new perspective on my relationship with my parents. Since then, every time I go home, I would actively chat with my father. Although we have different opinions and thoughts, the arguments between a father and his daughter also made me feel warm. Communication doesn't always have to be about reaching a consensus. Acceptance and tolerance might be another way to solve problems. I really understand your feelings. Because of the generation gap, the difference in opinions is too big and it's hard to reconcile. We can't change them in the face of this situation. All we can do is to give them patience and love. While we are growing, they are getting older. Our perspectives evolve with the times, but they tend to revert to the past as they age. It's neither your fault nor your parents' fault, but the clash between two different eras carried by your family.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 8, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 8, + "end": 19, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 19, + "end": 127, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 127, + "end": 219, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 219, + "end": 313, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 313, + "end": 454, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 454, + "end": 463, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 463, + "end": 484, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 484, + "end": 514, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 514, + "end": 586, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 9369 + }, + { + "question": "Recently, I have been in an online relationship and it seems like I have been keeping a lot of things hidden. It may not be long before we meet in person.", + "description": "I am in a state of taking a break from school due to moderate depression. I don't have any friends and I don't receive care from my family, so I tried to find warmth on some social platforms. Recently, I started an online relationship with a guy who suggested meeting in person. However, I have hidden a lot of things from him. I haven't told him about my depression and break from school, and I lied and said that I'm a freshman when I'm actually in my senior year of high school. Initially, I was afraid that if I told others about my depression and break, they would feel pressured when talking to me. I also don't know if I will develop a romantic relationship with this guy online. Additionally, I have a scar on my face and I'm afraid that he will mind it, even though he has said that he doesn't care about my appearance. I don't know how to handle this situation, but I really want to meet him in person and receive emotional support from him.", + "keywords": "Love, relationship management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, child. I see that you are anxious. It is a great choice to actively cope with moderate depression and take action. Depressed people often avoid social interaction and some social relationships, but depression actually requires experiencing and adjusting inner conflicts through various relationships in order to gradually find oneself and reconcile with the true self in one's heart. Once you can do that, you will be able to deal with all relationships in life, study, and work. You are now facing the high-pressure situation of the college entrance examination in your third year of high school. Under tremendous pressure, your subconscious self has chosen to take a break from school in order to avoid bearing this unbearable pressure. Excessive worrying, self-doubt, inferiority, and fear have all tangled together and caused you to break down. You are a good child, but not brave enough to be your true self. Going to high school is already a good thing. I am a middle school teacher and I know how amazing you are. At this moment, you feel disappointed in yourself while also having high expectations. You desperately want to break free from this state of torn feelings. Therefore, in order to prevent this sense of defeat from taking control, you pretend to be an adult online and are thrilled by successfully capturing someone. This proves that your thinking and abilities are excellent. Now, girls are scarce and there are plenty of boys who can't find marriage partners. Your scar is not a problem, and lying is not a hindrance. Other people's thoughts are their own, not yours. Whether it works out or not, it's all good. You are a perfectionist. Learn to accept your imperfections. Imperfections are what make perfection perfect. Do not make absolute demands on yourself and others. Avoid black and white thinking. Accept the current situation or accept responsibility for changing the current situation. There are three types of matters: your own matters, matters of fate, and other people's matters. Only focus on your own matters. There are three things: the past can't be regretted, the future cannot be excessively worried about, and the scenarios you are worried about have never happened. Grasp the present and focus on what you need to do now. Accept yourself, understand yourself, respect yourself, fall in love with yourself, and appreciate yourself. Give yourself credit for your strengths, such as being healthy, kind, and positive. Don't focus solely on your weaknesses. Practice mindfulness meditation, read books, exercise, do housework, think with your body instead of your mind, step out of your comfort zone and into the learning zone, little by little, regain your sense of self. Set your goals to complete something within an hour, instead of creating tension with long-term plans. One in four people suffer from depression. I suffered from depression when I was 16 years old and in the second year of high school. It affected my studies. Until now, at the age of 45, after studying psychology, I have learned to live with the pain of depression. In fact, I was able to study and get into college while carrying it. Accept your average self. Whenever I was depressed, I always felt that I didn't perform well enough, when in reality, my self-demands were too harsh and I had a high degree of narcissism. Look up Morita therapy: do what needs to be done, go with the flow, let go of treatment. If you are already taking medication, follow the doctor's advice and gradually reduce the dosage before stopping completely. Otherwise, if you abruptly stop taking the medication, you may experience withdrawal symptoms and feel uncomfortable. Have the courage to be disliked by others, to live, to fall, to fail, to succeed, and to use your life to create life! The college entrance examination is approaching. Even if you score 30 or 50 points, accept the challenge of yourself, accept the reality of yourself. The world's noise has nothing to do with me, and my success or failure is not related to others. In fact, 99% of people only focus on themselves and don't have the energy to focus on others. The world and I both love you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17494 + }, + { + "question": "Playing around and joking about being in a romantic relationship, but now feeling anxious, guilty, and ashamed. What should I do?", + "description": "I am currently in sixth grade, and during the vacation, I jokingly told a male classmate that I wanted to date him. I just wanted to see what it would feel like, and I admit that I was too curious. But at that time, I made it clear to him that I didn't actually like him in that way, but he didn't take it seriously and thought I was joking. After a few days of not talking much to him, he wanted to break up, and I agreed. Now I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself, and I don't have the face to see anyone. I'm sorry for tarnishing my image as a \"good student\" and a \"good child\". I became friends with that male classmate afterwards, but I still think that my thoughts at that time were childish and disgusting. I'm afraid of being mocked by others, or not being able to explain myself properly. I feel like I have let down my parents, my teachers who have educated me, and the school that has nurtured me. I feel like I have let down everyone. I don't know how to make friends anymore. I used to be isolated and targeted at school. Even my best friend used to talk badly about me behind my back, thinking I was worthless... I only told people I trust about this incident. I still think that at my age, I shouldn't be involved in matters of dating, and I feel awkward and scared to see him. I feel that I don't deserve to be called a good student or a well-behaved child. There are many chat groups, should I delete them all to focus on studying?", + "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, guilt and shame.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you, OP! From your statement, I can sense that you may feel guilty and worried about how others perceive you. You mentioned that during the vacation, you started dating a male classmate out of curiosity, but ended the relationship after a few days. This incident has made you feel as though you have let down the label of being a \"good student\" and a \"good child\", and it has affected your studies. You want to prevent this from impacting your studies by quitting the group chat, but the thought still lingers. How do we define being a \"good student\" and a \"good child\"? Perhaps being a good student means having good grades, and being a good child means listening to our parents. However, these are merely how others perceive us. As teenagers, we will experience changes and have different thoughts. We explore certain things based on our inner selves and backtrack when we realize our mistakes. It's normal to have feelings for the opposite sex. We may be attracted to certain aspects of their personalities, such as their good academic performance or their kind-heartedness. In such cases, we can learn from their positive qualities and strive to become a better version of ourselves. During the growth stages, different periods will arise, including the oral phase, anal phase, genital phase, and adolescence phase. Each age group will exhibit different behaviors and have various thoughts as they try out different things. For you, OP, it's important to relax and minimize the impact of these thoughts. Here are some suggestions that may help you: 1. Let go of labels. We all want to be seen as good students and good children in the eyes of others, but sometimes this can lead to sacrifices and the fear of expressing ourselves. However, there are certain things in life that we need to explore and experience in order to find out what we truly want to do. 2. Focus on the present. The past is unchangeable, so we should pay more attention to the present moment. Right now, you can feel the ground beneath your feet and recognize that you are here in this moment, focusing on doing what you need to do. 3. Take deep breaths. When we feel anxious, we can use deep breathing techniques to relax ourselves. Imagine your stomach as a balloon: inhale and let your stomach expand, and exhale to let your stomach deflate. Try to make each breath last as long as possible and do it several times. This can help regulate your state of mind and allow you to take a few moments of quiet rest before moving on to the next task. We cannot control how others perceive us, so let's try to adjust our mindset and relax, not allowing others to affect us and be true to ourselves. I hope the above suggestions can help you. Wish you well!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Child, good afternoon! On this sunny summer day, we meet in the midst of your inner turmoil, how precious and transient friendships are during adolescence. I will respond briefly, hoping to bring you some comfort and help. The good student, obedient child, this is actually how the teachers, parents, and even classmates see you, but it may be different from the real you. In fact, our self-evaluation and the evaluation from our surroundings are not the same thing. If we completely ignore the opinions of people around us, it would be unrealistic, right? But from your description, it seems that there are more of our own wishful thinking. It is not easy to determine someone's true attitude towards you. Some people speak without thinking, and others interpret with intention. The dilemma of growing up lies in our inability or difficulty in distinguishing between our true feelings and mere unintentional remarks from others. Give yourself more positive and encouraging thoughts. Whether it's those group of friends or those who may become distant later on, let them be there. When you feel like it, express yourself. We don't need to isolate ourselves. Opening our hearts is a solid step towards self-confidence and maturity. If you feel that you have hurt someone, bravely apologize to them. In youth and inexperience, we allow ourselves to make mistakes. Those words were not meant to be malicious, right? With that said, I wish you all the best! The world, including myself, loves you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, big hug to you! It's not easy for a sixth grade, twelve-year-old child to bear such a heavy psychological burden. You have suffered, but no matter what, you must believe that everything will pass, and you are still the excellent you. Moreover, you are not at fault. After reading your description, sis wants to tell you a story. When sis was in high school, our substitute political teacher taught the class very well. As the class monitor and someone who really liked politics, I loved this teacher's class very, very much. However, I had poor grades and was not good in other aspects. I was one of those people who couldn't fit in with the crowd, but this political teacher discovered my strengths and said that I was smart and had the potential to learn. This was the first time someone had said this about me in my entire academic life. He also helped me analyze how to improve my grades and the problems I currently faced. Later, my grades did improve. But there were also rumors and gossip among classmates that gradually started. During that time, I was also very devastated. But what could I do to stop it! The only thing I could do was to turn a deaf ear to it, and now I am still doing well. By telling you this story, I want to tell you: focus on your own business, others' opinions are theirs. You can't control what comes out of other people's mouths, the only thing you can do is to do well in what you should do. Keep going! Believe that you can do it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13679 + }, + { + "question": "Caught in confusion about the future, not knowing what to do next?", + "description": "I am a student who is going into senior year when school starts. I don't know what I really want, I only have a vague longing and some imagined fragments of the future. I hope someone can tell me what to do during certain periods of time, to what extent I should do it, and how to live the life I want. Taking the postgraduate entrance exam for my major is easy and familiar, but I don't really like it. I truly enjoy studying design, but it's a huge leap and I'm mainly worried that I won't pass the exam, worried that even if I do, it won't have any meaning, worried that I will realize in the future that I don't actually like it, worried about being unemployed and poor. What should I do? Should I be more realistic or idealistic? I'm even wavering about not taking the postgraduate entrance exam and finding a job instead. I am now constantly torn, worried, anxious, and even experiencing symptoms of hyperthyroidism. I don't know which path to take in the future. If I choose to take the exam, I need to quickly decide on a good school and major and prepare well. If I choose to work, I also need to hurry and find an internship! I want to take the exam because I want to improve myself, but right now, I'm just wasting my youth. I'm worried that I will continue to be lost and torn until I finally understand when I'm old and infirm.", + "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, anxiety, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! When faced with a turning point in life and without a clear goal, people can fall into confusion and perplexity. The future is unknown and uncontrollable, so one may hope for a more \"authoritative\" force to tell oneself when to do what and when to achieve results, so as to have a feeling of control and a stronger sense of certainty. Therefore, it is normal to have such feelings at this stage. However, no one can know what the future will be like. Each path is a choice, and each choice has its corresponding gains and costs. At the same time, any path is actually walked by people, turning \"uncertainty\" into \"certainty\" step by step through their own efforts. Therefore, there are several perspectives for you to consider how to proceed. First, the criteria for choosing at the turning point. The author of \"Extraordinary Self\" mentioned that at every turning point, it updates our understanding of the world and ourselves, tests our willpower and spirit, and adds content to our self. In a turning point, you should distinguish whether your choice is an economic choice of gains and losses or a psychological choice of self-transformation. Just as you described, from a realistic perspective, it may be better to take the postgraduate entrance examination for your major, or even directly work instead of pursuing further studies, which would bring immediate material benefits. These economic choices seem reasonable, but they do have their costs and difficulties. If they are not what your heart desires, you will often feel dissatisfied in the future, or regret giving up when facing difficulties. So, what is a psychological choice of self-transformation? It means that you have a relatively clear vision of what kind of life you want to live, what kind of occupation you want to pursue, and what your life goals are. Then, see if your current choices align with your own desires and if they are the path to achieving your vision. These choices made from the heart are not without difficulties, but they provide you with the motivation and perseverance to persist when facing challenges. Second, to achieve results, you must first establish a deep connection with things, connect them fully with your true intentions. Teacher Wu Zhihong has always said that if you constantly live in the narcissistic imagination of your mind, you will often struggle with difficulties in commitment and become too obsessed with results. Only when you reach the level of relationships and establish a deep connection with things, can results come naturally, and the process will bring great joy. You will have a sense of using time, and time will be a blessing to you. The same applies to the postgraduate entrance examination. Only when you let go of your imagination of the unknown, let go of the \"anxiety,\" \"confusion,\" and \"self-consumption,\" and focus on studying and accumulating, can you eventually achieve the results you desire. Third, in uncertainty, seek certainty and start now. Many times, we feel that everything is in chaos and our hearts are always restless in uncertainty. At such times, the most important thing is to find something you feel is controllable and start doing it to stabilize yourself. For example, in the case of switching majors and taking exams, you can start by gathering information from various schools and looking at the situation in previous years. You can start by making a revision plan and schedule, and do what you can currently do. There are no wasted steps in life, every step counts. Going through the process of in-depth preparation or striving for a goal of your own, even if the result is not as expected, it is never in vain. So, do good deeds and never ask about the future.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15740 + }, + { + "question": "17-year-old me, living away from home, feeling like I shouldn't exist.", + "description": "17-year-old high school student, for the past two years, I have been staying with my elder sister and her husband. They support me to pursue my studies. Sometimes they argue, and my sister would say, \"If it wasn't for you studying here, I would have left. I wouldn't have to endure this.\" When I first came, they were very good to me. Their children would also ask if I needed anything. But later, my father injured his hand, and she borrowed money for his medical treatment. My living expenses and tuition fees are all her own money. But now, during the holidays, she ignores me every day and says that everything I do is wrong, even saying that I walk too slowly. I think that I must be bothering them by studying here, but it was them who asked me to come in the first place. During summer vacation, I have been thinking all the time, and I feel very depressed every day, as if I shouldn't exist.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) You feel like you are relying on others. (2) You are unsure of your own existence. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: From your description, I empathize with how you are feeling in this moment. However, you need to know that your sister also carries a lot of pressure. If you truly believe you shouldn't exist, she could just ignore you. As we often say, if a problem can be spoken about, it is no longer a problem, as it can be resolved. Next time your sister complains, you can try to show understanding and tell her that once you have a job, you will make sure she doesn't suffer. This might reduce her complaints and could also provide you with motivation to work hard. #The world and I love you.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 7, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 7, + "end": 25, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 25, + "end": 42, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 42, + "end": 57, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 57, + "end": 78, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 78, + "end": 99, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 99, + "end": 169, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 169, + "end": 246, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 246, + "end": 255, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 11542 + }, + { + "question": "There are many, many questions, feeling too ashamed to speak up. What should I do?", + "description": "There are many secrets that have been hidden for many years, they are quite shameful and I dare not speak about them. I don't know if it can be considered as PTSD. I am too afraid to go to the hospital and speak to a doctor. Whenever I think about it, my heart starts racing and I break into a cold sweat. I also can't bring myself to talk about it in psychological counseling. What should I do? I am very distressed and it is so shameful. It is similar to the cases in \"(This is not your fault),\" but I just can't find a way to say it out loud. I have had many sessions of psychological counseling, but I have never managed to speak about it. What should I do? I'm desperate.", + "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, counseling and listening.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "In your description, I see your anxiety, confusion, helplessness... A secret that has been hidden for many years, this is a form of psychological repression. However, whatever is repressed will eventually come back to haunt you. Therefore, bravely speak out, as confidentiality is the most important and essential principle in psychological counseling. Find a suitable therapist and release the repression, no longer hide yourself. \u03b5 I am here, the world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3781 + }, + { + "question": "Life in a first-tier city, working 996 every day, feeling lost in life, what should I do?", + "description": "Sometimes I wonder why we have to work 996 just to make big money, repeating the same job every day. I don't know the meaning of my debt collection work. But that's not the point. The point is that I feel people in today's society sacrifice too much in pursuit of material things. They even lose themselves. Including myself, I really don't understand what magic material possesses that makes people so obsessed. Why do I have to make big money? Just to live a better life? To gain the approval of others? Why are there still so many hypocritical and ugly aspects in this society? Is there any difference between living like that and being a walking corpse? I'm so tired, physically and mentally exhausted. Maybe there are truly good people in this world, but I just don't have the eyes to see them. Sometimes I don't know why I have to live, and I don't know the kind of person I should become. Maybe only I can find the answer, or maybe I will never find it. (Just expressing my thoughts, no need to reply)", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I hope my answer can be helpful to you. **Just watched a short film yesterday about what happiness is. Indeed, the original intention of human pursuit of happiness is quite simple, but as time goes by, they can no longer see the way they came, forgetting their \"initial intentions\". In ancient times, happiness was simply not having rain or being chased by wild animals. Afterwards, happiness meant not being a slave. Then it became having food and gruel to eat. Later on, having food and clothing became happiness. Then, having solved the problem of basic needs and having a car and a house became happiness. You will find that the pursuit of happiness is endless, seemingly without limits.** What is happiness? Actually, happiness is very simple; it is an experience of life. It is a good experience that brings a sense of happiness if you haven't had it before. What we need to contemplate is whether we also need to strive for material possessions like others do. Some families have immense wealth but constant tears, while others are penniless but full of joy and laughter. Some families live plain lives but have harmonious relationships like spring.** As you said, I am really tired and mentally exhausted. Is it the pursuit of material possessions or the troubles in relationships? It is indeed quite challenging to work hard in first-tier cities, but it still depends on what you want. First-tier cities fill countless people with hope and ignite their passion, but the competition is also fierce and even cruel. However, it still depends on what you want. What do you think? The world loves you and I love you too.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 16, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 16, + "end": 165, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 165, + "end": 193, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 193, + "end": 322, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 322, + "end": 441, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 441, + "end": 448, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug you, sometimes I also get lost like this. Do I need to achieve secular success, even if I am not happy? In the end, I decided to work with happiness as a prerequisite. If there is no meaning in work, then it is suffering. Some people like money, like wealth. They can think about how much money they can earn before going to work every day, and what they can do with it. They will feel satisfied and consider the day meaningful. Some people like their job because they can discover their own value in their work. When they see customers' satisfaction and the happiness they bring to others, they feel satisfied. I am a teacher. Although sometimes I am physically and mentally exhausted, I am very satisfied when I see the moment when children hug you. Some people regard their work as a part of their career, a part of their path to success, a way to accumulate experience for the future. So, they can endure the current boring or heavy work tasks. If your current job makes you feel miserable, then think about what is the meaning of your work? Is it money, happiness, or the future? Stick to what you want.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 10563 + }, + { + "question": "It seems like there is a sudden burst of emotions on the eve of the college entrance examination?", + "description": "I didn't realize that my state had reached this point, it's like reaching a breaking point. I said I didn't want to ask or answer questions, but in the end, I still did. I said I didn't want to go downstairs and walk around, but I still went downstairs. I said I didn't want to watch this video, but I forced myself to watch it. I watch variety shows to relax, constantly rewinding to catch small details, even if it's just a big laugh, a conversation, a facial expression, or a running posture. I said I didn't want to ask or answer questions anymore, I didn't want to post anymore. Even though I vented for an hour today and posted another question, I still feel compelled to post. Maybe it's the feeling of suffocation caused by watching that female celebrity's voice crack and breakdown in a state of depression on Weibo. It reminded me of my past, when I used games to express my pain. I pretended to be strong, but recently, at night when I don't sleep with my mom, I wake up at night feeling immense pressure. I clench the bedsheets tightly. Really, I don't want to post anymore. That's it. Please refrain from saying that I have directly developed depression in the comments, because the college entrance examination is coming up soon, and I am also seeking counseling. I just don't understand why I can't control my emotions anymore. I feel like I'm forcing myself. Please don't scare me in the comments, thank you?", + "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Don't be afraid, hug you \u2570(*\u00b4\ufe36`*)\u256f I can feel your pain, your inner scream. You must be feeling very uncomfortable, insomnia, nervousness, anxiety... It's like an air-tight cage surrounding you, you can't break free, and you've been suppressing your emotions, keeping them inside, how can you bear it? The current you, is really heartbreaking. Hug you~ Don't label yourself with anything negative, don't label yourself as sick, don't label yourself! You're awesome, look at yourself: you have high expectations for yourself for the college entrance exam, your motivation is high, you have dreams and goals; you suppress your emotions and don't tell your mom because you don't want to worry her, you're a considerate child; based on your way of relaxation, you are a very disciplined person, paying attention to details, sensitive, and have high demands for yourself; you have ways to regulate yourself, you sought counseling help, you're aware that you have too much stress, too much anxiety, and you're trying to relax in your own way, and you have self-rescue and self-help behaviors, you are a clear-minded and hardworking person... shouldn't you praise yourself? \u30fe(^\u25bd^*)))\u3010I can't hold back my emotions anymore, feel like I'm forcing myself\u3011Don't suppress your negative emotions anymore, your heart is not a trash bin, you need to handle negative emotions in a reasonable way, throw away all that pressure, anxiety, uneasiness, worries, panic... I think you need to change your way of coping. Watching videos, variety shows, and playing games are behaviors that allow information to enter your brain, and it will consume your energy more easily. Let your emotions out! Don't let negative emotions occupy your brain. Focus on your current feelings, please don't suppress yourself, if you feel like crying, just cry it out. Take a deep breath~ Deep breath~ Deep breath~ Find a place with fewer people, scream, shout out your own voice! Or engage in sports, go for a run... Listen, slow and gentle instrumental music... Don't pretend to be strong, don't you really think your mom doesn't know? Maybe your mom is also anxious, worrying about you. Don't pretend to be strong anymore, hug yourself, okay? [Did you receive malicious answers to your previous question? If so, you can report it \u2299\u2200\u2299!] Just a few more days, keep it up\uff3e\uff10\uff3e~ The world and I are rooting for you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17776 + }, + { + "question": "Unhappy in childhood, how can one love their own children wholeheartedly in adulthood?", + "description": "I was born in '92, the eldest daughter. At that time, there was a strong preference for boys over girls. My parents desperately wanted a boy, so when my second sister was born, they sent her to live with my aunt and unmarried uncle, who became her legal guardians. So I call my parents \"aunt and uncle\". My mother grew up without a mother, raised by my grandfather and others. She has two sisters and four brothers. My mother favored my younger brother the most. It was normal for him to wear expensive basketball shoes worth seven or eight hundred yuan, while I only had two or three hundred yuan shoes. The clothes bought for me were even from street vendors, costing only five yuan per piece, or sometimes they were cheap and ill-fitting. Whenever we went to KFC in the city, my brother would always get something to eat, but I never did. My parents often scolded my younger sister, saying that she lacked the things that my brother and I had. My sister was rebellious and in her last year of high school, she went to her boyfriend's house overnight and lost her virginity, but she happily told me that his family was wealthy and they had fingerprint locks on their doors. I grew up at my grandmother's house. My grandmother also grew up without a father and was raised by her stepfather, which made her timid and afraid of ruining relationships. At the same time, she was very principled. Although she was not a pushover, in reality, she didn't often give in to others or to situations. Whenever she had problems, she ran away, for example, by going to stay at a temple and avoiding contact with my parents. My grandmother was strict with me and had high expectations. I often feared that I wouldn't succeed. Having grown up with such a caregiver, I am also worried about not being able to take good care of my daughter.", + "keywords": "Family, communication with parents, communication with children.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Usually, a person's way of treating children is unconsciously inherited from how their own caregivers treated them. If you want to make a change, you can consider the following three points: 1. Awareness, which means being mindful of how you are treating your children. 2. Learn how to treat children properly. This may require you to take some specialized training courses related to education. If you don't learn new knowledge and methods, you will instinctively use the inherited ways, because you don't know what alternatives there are besides the old ways. 3. Work on your emotional growth. The more unconsciously a person is in an emotional state, the more likely they are to react automatically and lack self-awareness. Only by growing and maturing emotionally can you have the space to pause and reflect, restore a state of calm thinking, and make new choices. When you experience different results brought by new approaches, you will gradually turn those new approaches into your own habits. Emotional growth can be achieved by gradually self-awareness, self-reflection, and communication with the child to understand each other's feelings in your daily life. If you have the assistance of professionals, it may be done faster.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear asker, hello! It's very heartbreaking to hear about your unpleasant childhood. In our minds, children are the ones who need the most protection, but many parents themselves don't understand this and become parents hastily. Every scar a child receives during their childhood will follow them for a lifetime. It's difficult to get rid of and difficult to let go of. So, I really want to give you a hug and hope that one day you can heal yourself and forget the pain of the past. There are many films and TV shows that discuss this theme. Girls who face unfair treatment in their childhood in families that favor boys over girls. Many girls are given names like \"Zhaodi,\" which sounds so oppressive. You were also a child during your childhood and longed for your parents' love. However, you may have never understood as a child why your brother received so much better treatment than you. Each of us must face a reality: there is no absolute fairness in this world. Being born a girl is not our fault. The fault lies with the system that favors boys over girls. What we need to do is break free from this system. We cannot choose our own origins, but we can put an end to the tragedy in our generation. I suggest that the first thing you do is get away from this injustice and distance yourself from it. This way, you can be less affected. Then, love yourself and love others well. Although you didn't receive love when you were little, it doesn't mean that you are not deserving of love. If we can't receive love from others, let's love ourselves well. Be confident. Lastly, your child should consider themselves lucky because they have a mother like you who understands things clearly. I wish you happiness.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Author, hello~ First, I have to give you some not-so-good news. The unfortunate experiences in childhood often bring consequences to our own children in marriage. It may not be exactly the same as our own childhood, and sometimes the manifestation of the problems may be very different, but the essence of the problems is often the same. However, I also have some good news to tell you. It's good to see that you have realized the impact these issues can have on your children. With this awareness, you can start to face your own life issues and try to minimize the impact of your past hurts on your children. Of course, it is impossible to completely avoid it, but having this awareness is already a big step forward. Secondly, believe that children are inherently complete and have their own capacity for growth and healing. They come into this world with their own life challenges and they are also here to help and transform us. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: How can one love their own children well after an unhappy childhood? - An unhappy childhood is like a cup of dirty water, only by pouring out this cup of dirty water can clean and happy water be poured in. Forgetting about the unhappiness of childhood is the process of pouring out the dirty water, and pouring in clean and happy water is the process of learning how to love oneself and how to love one's children. To love one's children, one must first learn to love oneself. Only those who know how to love themselves have the ability to love others. How to love oneself, be good to oneself, and please oneself, this way you will have happiness and have happiness, and happiness and happiness can be infectious to the people around you, and your children are the closest ones to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19787 + }, + { + "question": "20-year-old female, why recently do I not feel like going to work when I have a longer break?", + "description": "I have been resting for a month recently, but I don't want to go to work. Although I can earn a lot of money by working and getting paid daily, I just don't want to go. At the same time, I really want to make money. I am confused and don't know why I feel this way.", + "keywords": "behavior, avoidance, confusion, laziness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Your current state belongs to the typical \"avoiding conflict\" type, where you want to make money but don't want to work. Actually, this is a very normal psychological state. If you ask around, probably nine out of ten people have this mindset. I'm the same way. I want to make money, but I don't want to work. Especially after resting at home for a month and enjoying the feeling of freedom, it's difficult to suddenly have to go to work and be restricted. Your body is very honest! So there's nothing to worry about whether your psychology is abnormal. You might think, \"But I do want to make money.\" Yes, our minds sometimes deceive us. You want to make money, but the desire or urgency to make money is not enough to make you take immediate action. Otherwise, if you have no money at all now and there is no food at home, if not going to work means starving to death, do you think you would go to work the next day? Of course, this example is a bit extreme, but the underlying principle holds true. On the other hand, even though you know that going to work would allow you to save a lot of money, you still don't want to go. From a deeper psychological perspective, this is a subconscious belief that says, \"I shouldn't have so much money, or I don't deserve so much money.\" So, you can also consider what bad things might happen if you were to get a lot of money? Are there any negative consequences? These hidden concerns are also factors. So, how can you motivate yourself to go to work? You can give all your money to a friend or parents, telling them not to give you any money, and then when you have no money, what can you do? Go to work! Another approach is to make a promise to yourself, have a dialogue with yourself. I know you still want to rest and don't want to go to work, but we really have to go. How about this? Let's rest for another five days or however many days, and then go to work. Let's make a deal. Although this may seem silly, it works. Have a conversation with yourself and imagine the diligent version of yourself having a dialogue with the lazy version of yourself. I'm good at using cards, dolls, and other small objects for accurate presentation and transformation of individual cases. I share knowledge and experiences related to psychology, so feel free to follow me!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "\u25c6Recently, a 20-year-old girl doesn't feel like going to work when she has a long break\u25c6She has been on break for a month, even though her job pays well on a daily basis\u25c6She is torn between not wanting to go but also wanting to earn money. Perhaps, after a long rest period, we may experience a phenomenon called \"vacation syndrome.\" This situation can make it difficult for people to quickly adapt to work, causing a lack of motivation to study or work. This state is very normal. At the same time, you need to realize that this is actually a moment for you to exercise your willpower. Wanting to earn money is your clear goal. If you have already rested well, then you need to focus on your current goals. When dealing with conflicting interests, you should consider which one is more beneficial to your development. Our jobs not only bring us financial rewards but also a sense of recognition. Through your work, you can realize self-fulfillment and become aware of your own value. Some people derive their value from their own perseverance, others from the outside, and some from within. \u00b6What is the underlying color of your personality?\u00b6The level of professional identity\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0 finding your source of value and fully understanding yourself can help you think about the things that drive you. You should also believe that you can maintain your focus on other things, even if you get interrupted each time. But don't panic, occasionally lacking motivation is a normal phenomenon. Maybe you can sustain it for three minutes the first time, and six minutes the second time. This is progress for you. This is not a competition but a process of recording your continuous improvement. If you set your expectations too high, it will be difficult to achieve your goals, and the purpose will be difficult to maintain. I don't know if this situation of not working is affecting your life. A month of not working is neither long nor short, but it can easily lead to a lack of motivation that is difficult to overcome. This may be related to willpower, personal character, and professional identity. We don't need to label ourselves, but we need to explore possibilities and understand them one by one. Maybe we need to reduce impulsiveness and enhance willpower. Willpower, also known as self-discipline, self-control, or determination, is the ability to control one's actions, emotions, and attention. Willpower includes the ability to resist impulsivity and delay the gratification of achieving goals, the ability to overcome unwanted thoughts, feelings, or impulses, and the ability to self-regulate. In concrete terms, a person's level of willpower can determine their ability to save for financial stability, make positive physical and mental health choices, and avoid the use of harmful substances. You can move towards your goals and establish willpower satisfaction by continuously exerting effort and giving up immediate gratification. This practice will enhance your ability to control your impulses, just like exercising the body requires persistence, eventually leading to a healthy body and the pursuit of your ideals. You can assess your habits through various psychological tests. If you want to improve your willpower, it may be because you lack impulse control in your underlying personality and it is affecting your life. Some people struggle with willpower throughout their lives, while others have a specific \"deficiency\" in willpower. Identify the areas you want to improve in and make yourself aware of long-term planning.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 19, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 19, + "end": 38, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 38, + "end": 57, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 57, + "end": 133, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 133, + "end": 197, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 197, + "end": 323, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 323, + "end": 334, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 334, + "end": 345, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 345, + "end": 365, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 365, + "end": 482, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 482, + "end": 559, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 559, + "end": 692, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 692, + "end": 805, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 805, + "end": 843, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 843, + "end": 896, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 896, + "end": 915, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 915, + "end": 1020, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, it is understandable to resist going to work when you don't want to make any breakthroughs and your body is being honest with you. Secondly, returning to work means entering a new and unfamiliar environment, with a new work mode and everything being unknown. The instinctive fear of the unknown can also make us hesitant when choosing to go back to work. However, dear, just like your dilemma of not wanting to go to work but wanting to earn money, we haven't reached the age where we can retire and rely on pensions. We have our own responsibilities and obligations, such as supporting ourselves and taking care of our parents. All of this requires financial support, and the only way to obtain money is through work. I suggest that you think about what suits you better and what kind of work you would prefer while at home, and then go out and look for a position that matches your preferences. We tend to be more motivated to do the job that we are interested in, which can help us overcome laziness at home. For the job we like, we are also more likely to stick with it and not give up easily due to temporary discomfort or frequent job changes. Choosing a career that suits you and offers satisfactory salary, and then focusing on long-term development, is what you should do now and something that you should stick with. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "This indicates that the desire for the topic master to make money is not strong enough. When we really want something, we will take action to strive for it. For example, when you are very hungry, don't you want to eat? When you have someone you like, don't you always want to see them? You can't say, \"I really like him, but I don't really want to see him.\" There could be a few reasons for this situation. Firstly, it's possible that the topic master is not in need of money. At least your life is worry-free and the money you earn cannot be immediately used for your own benefit, so you are not so urgent. Those who can't even have three meals a day have to desperately make money to support themselves, otherwise whether they can survive tomorrow is a problem. Secondly, it's possible that you don't like this job. This job hasn't brought you any meaning or sense of accomplishment, so you don't have the motivation to work. Or maybe the stress and discomfort caused by this job make you prefer to give up the salary, at least this way you can feel better. The third reason is that you are not clear about the meaning of money to you. Some people make money to make ends meet; some people make money to satisfy their hobbies, such as traveling, collecting models, and so on, which require financial support; some people may make money for investment, to make money with money; some people make money to get rid of the situation of working for others as soon as possible, and retire early by earning and saving enough money. So, why do you want to make money, topic master? I think you need to first find the reasons why you don't want to work. Is it because you're not interested in the job itself or because you don't have a sense of achievement? Or is it because you don't get along with your colleagues and boss? If you don't plan to work, then what would you choose to do? What are your hobbies, can you develop them into a job that can make money? Maybe you will be willing to work then? Or maybe your emotions are affecting your work, such as experiencing some depression and anxiety? Work is not just for money, but also a channel for us to realize our own value. If we don't work, what else can we do? Just eating, drinking, and having fun all day will soon leave us feeling empty, especially when everyone around us is making achievements and contributing value in their own fields. You will find that you have nothing, and this will create a sense of imbalance in your mind. Therefore, I suggest that the topic master first think carefully about their own life, what it is for, what they want. It's okay to take a break for a while now, and you can also try other things you want to do. Find your goals and meaning in life, perhaps that is the most important thing.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the title of your question is \"Hello, long time no see\". \"Not wanting to work\" is the normal state for most people. Maybe it's because they don't like the nature of their work, or conflicts arise from the company culture and colleagues. In any case, work brings many problems and pressures that consume one's willpower, and these problems tend to be magnified when thinking back on them. People prefer to do easy things and relax both physically and mentally during their breaks. However, the mind has inertia, and after a long period of relaxation, one's inertia becomes greater, and it becomes difficult to find interest in anything. As long as one works well, they can earn a lot of money. Going to work is just for a livelihood. You have a narrow view of the meaning of work; earning money is the main purpose, but at the same time, through work, we improve our social status and increase our integration with society. If you don't want to go to work but still want to make money, you can think about the reasons why you don't want to go to work. Is it dissatisfaction with the nature of the work or dissatisfaction with the leadership? Or is it dissatisfaction with objective factors such as working hours and location? Think about what kind of life you want. Improve yourself, and when you have enough ability, then you will have choices. Give yourself positive psychological suggestions, take it step by step, and let yourself gradually adapt to the state of work. I hope my answer can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Haha, dear, kiss, hug you. I think your question is so cute! Honestly, if you could make money by lying down, who would want to go to work? Working is really tiring! But for the sake of a living, we have no choice but to work. So as human beings, we prefer things that are simple and enjoyable. If there is a simple and enjoyable choice, we definitely wouldn't choose something exhausting. For example, when studying, we often get distracted and play with our phones because we find playing with our phones more relaxing, while studying is more tiring. This is also related to our cognitive burden, as we tend to prefer a lighter cognitive burden. So during our rest period, you will feel relaxed and happy, and it will also become a habit, wanting to always stay in this state of lighter cognitive burden. But on the other hand, you also want to make money and save it, so you will be conflicted. But there's no way around it, haha. Working exhaustion may make you live ten years less, but not working, you won't be able to survive even a single day. So we have to try to adjust. Force yourself to return to a working state, cancel your vacation with your supervisor, or sign up for work and things like that. As long as you take the first step, the rest becomes much easier. Gradually return to the rhythm of work, slowly getting used to the daily routine and intensity. Find your own rhythm in work and balance it with your life, plan your time well. If you're really not satisfied with this job, don't want to go to work, then try switching to another one. Hope this can help you, the world and I love you~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Perhaps many times we will feel helpless. Because people are constantly making choices, there are no perfect things. If we choose A, we cannot enjoy B. When we choose to work and make money, we need to sacrifice our own rest time. Generally speaking, we work for 8 hours, and the time after work is our own. If you rest at home for a month, your body may have adapted to this relaxed and free mode. But your mind really wants to make money, it's just that your body is not very active. If you continue to choose to stay at home for a period of time, after a long time, you will feel that you have nothing to do all day and it becomes meaningless. At that time, you may have an impulse and desire to go to work. Because if a person stays at home for a long time without income, their sense of self-worth will gradually decrease. In order to maintain their sense of worth and presence, we still need to work and make money. You can learn to relax yourself after work. Because sometimes work is busy and tiring, we do have a thought of not wanting to go to work and just stay. This idea is nice, but we are ultimately living in reality and still need to face the issues of survival, such as food and clothing. So we need to learn to make choices and clearly define what we want.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand how you are feeling. Sending you a hug~ After a long break, you may not feel like going back to work, even if the salary is good. This is normal because most people don't really enjoy going to work. When you rest for a long time, you may adapt to the current state of rest. And during rest, people often have no pressure and feel comfortable. So, the current state may become your comfort zone, and when you stay in your comfort zone for a long time, you get used to it. But when you need to go to work, it means you need to step out of your comfort zone, and you will definitely face some obstacles in this process. So, you will experience stress and have to make choices. On one hand, having a good job can help you earn a lot of money, but on the other hand, you need to leave your current comfort zone and put in effort. So, you may be hesitant. Therefore, in this situation, I suggest that you should be more cautious and take some time to carefully consider the pros and cons of the two options. Since you are relatively young, I would also suggest focusing more on self-improvement as earning money is an important part too. Take care~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I used to have a particularly adorable roommate who would do some mental work on herself before going to work every day, so that she could go out in a relaxed and interesting manner. Every working person may have experienced such moments, you are not alone. Making money is the only motivation I see for you to go to work, obviously, in your case, this motivation is not so strong. There are many purposes for working, why do you work? If the answer is to make money, then what is the money for? These questions may sound like nonsense at first, because the answers seem obvious and not worth discussing. But in fact, each person's story is different. So, for you, is work for a better life? Or do you work for a better life? I think at this moment you should not lack money, at least the need for money is not particularly strong for you, so resting may let you see more possibilities in life, so you don't like to go to work. Life has its ups and downs, three times poor, three times rich, sometimes like breathing, sometimes tense and dedicated, and sometimes relaxed and lazy. At what point are you now? There is a saying that I like very much, sometimes the problems in others' eyes may be our solutions. Perhaps your dislike of going to work is a subconscious signal for you to change your mood or lifestyle. I hope this can help you. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner, I carefully read your description and understand your current state well. It seems like you are in a dilemma. On one hand, you want to make money, but on the other hand, after resting for a long time, you don't feel like working anymore. This involves a problem of matching our sense of life's values with our way of making money. If they match, the satisfaction will be relatively high. If they don't match, and we feel that it will harm our physical and mental health, our inner self will instinctively reject it. This signal, in fact, you can pay attention to it and not force yourself too much, because often if we force ourselves to do something, we cannot see the results at that time, but after a long time, the results are not good. For example, some people's marriages may seem calm on the surface, but if they engage in a long-term cold war, many years later, one day, one person may be diagnosed with cancer. This situation is a result of constantly forcing oneself and not facing one's own needs, which will lead to problems. As for your job, you mentioned that it can earn a lot of money, but you didn't say what kind of job it is, so it's not easy to share advice. From my personal understanding, for example, some special live broadcasts or other types of work can earn a lot of money, but they may cause greater harm to the individual's physical and mental health, so naturally they will be strongly rejected. I don't know if you are under pressure to make money, but if you have the choice, try to avoid choosing ways to make quick money that overdraw our physical and mental health. At a certain point, it will still cause problems. I think you may have already realized this issue. Secondly, let's think about how to make adjustments. For example, consider changing to a different job or something like that, because based on your description, you do have some aversion to your current job. So first, you can combine your savings and resources with your previous professional knowledge or what you want to do in the future, and match them. Then you can select some vocational skills to participate in training. I see that you wrote your age is relatively young, so is it possible for you to continue further education? To go to college or a vocational school, etc., you still need to continue learning. At the same time, based on your situation, you can choose to study full-time or find a job while studying. Find a job in a place where you don't dislike going to work when you open your eyes. I think you can give it a try. Keep going, you will be fine!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5826 + }, + { + "question": "In the 9th grade, I feel anxious every day, unable to sleep well, and I'm on the verge of not being able to cope anymore...", + "description": "I am a ninth-grade student (girl). Because we have to finish a year's worth of courses in one semester in ninth grade, we have a lot of homework every day. I go to a boarding school (which is considered the best school in our small city), and I wake up at 6 am and sleep at 11 pm every day. We have one day off per week. I am in the top class of our grade, and my grades are not bad, but I always feel a lot of pressure. (I don't know how to express it.) I really dislike the school's system, the curriculum is so tight, and there is so much homework. The classes always run late, and our homeroom teacher is a very strict male teacher (all my classmates hate him). I have a feeling of being caught in a dilemma. I can't let go of my current grades (I dare not do things I want to do), but I also want to persevere like other classmates and end up extremely anxious. My classmates are very outstanding, which often makes me feel sad and troubled. Their families are all well-off (our school tuition is quite expensive), but I am not. I'm really going crazy, and my troubles cannot be expressed in these words. I even hate my own incompetence. I have tried lightly cutting my arm with a knife once (although I know it is wrong, but I don't know what to do). I'm in so much pain. I'm afraid of letting my parents down.", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, I understand that 1. OP is in a boarding school, feeling the pressure of studying while also feeling out of place among classmates. 2. OP feels guilty towards their parents and has a lot of anxiety and negative thoughts as a result. [A little analysis and advice] 1. First of all, OP's grades are pretty good, which shows that OP is actually a hardworking student. Right now, the schoolwork is making OP feel overwhelmed and exhausted, which is normal. Everyone has the right to feel tired when faced with pressure. OP can tell their trusted family members or friends about their feelings, or take a day or two off to rest and recharge in their dorm. Taking proper rest is beneficial for moving forward. Parents also don't want to see OP feeling so exhausted. 2. Comparing themselves to classmates who come from better family backgrounds, OP feels that their own family situation is not as good. However, OP's academic performance is not actually bad compared to their classmates, so OP is actually a very excellent student. They just feel tired and need some rest. Don't overthink things, just get a good night's sleep, and then think about how to plan their time or ask their teachers for advice. These are all good ways to approach it. Hope this helps OP.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4347 + }, + { + "question": "After understanding my own personality traits thoroughly, I feel that I am full of flaws.", + "description": "Since I became conscious, I have had a special understanding and sensitivity towards personality. Since I was a child, I have been thinking about how to achieve good grades: being diligent, serious, honest, obedient... I looked down upon mischievous classmates and believed that they were not ambitious and would not achieve good results. In order to have a good outcome, I have always wondered: what should I do? What kind of person should I become? Even if the real me is not like this, I still want to change myself to be better... The situation is even more so now. I perceive everyone's personality very thoroughly, even their thought patterns (or at least I think so). They, carefree on the surface but actually lacking confidence on the inside, have thick skin; they, introverted but truly confident and determined, are easily satisfied, so they don't appear outstanding; they, confident, open-minded, optimistic, lively... are my ideal personality. However, after understanding my own personality, all I see are flaws: timid, selfish, inferior, hypocritical, greedy, stingy... not a single shining point! How embarrassing and shameful it is to be such a person! What future can someone like me have? So, speaking of this, I ask: Why do I feel unworthy? What is the reason?", + "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-acceptance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there! Why do you feel unworthy? Why do you think someone's character is good or bad? It largely depends on your cognition. Objectively speaking, there are many cognitive biases. Cognitive biases are distortions that occur when people perceive themselves, others, or the external environment due to personal or situational reasons. Typical manifestations include significant bias and vividness bias. Stereotypes and halo effects commonly seen in social perception are forms of perceptual biases, caused by the selective nature of personal perception. Many of the insights you think you have are actually questionable, in need of verification, perhaps just your assumptions. When we view others through our own perspective, projection often happens, resulting in an inability to see the other person objectively and easily leading to subjective speculation. From a psychological perspective, personality itself is neither good nor bad; its existence is justifiable. Do you think introversion is not as good as extroversion? Can you accurately distinguish between confidence and arrogance, inferiority and stability? Do you tend to label others based on one incident? You think you have many flaws, but if I say these are all surface phenomena, can you find evidence to refute these conclusions? For example, you say you're selfish, but have you always been extremely selfish? Have you never given anything to anyone at any time? Therefore, do not easily label others or yourself because labels do not equal truth and they can be changed. What we can be certain of is that there are no perfect people, and even the person you idealize does not exist. Ask yourself frequently - am I seeing the complete truth and all the facts? Is this a fact or just my subjective opinion? Has it always been this way, and will it always be this way?", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 29, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 29, + "end": 56, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 56, + "end": 166, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 166, + "end": 255, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 255, + "end": 282, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 282, + "end": 296, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 296, + "end": 413, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 413, + "end": 451, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 451, + "end": 481, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 481, + "end": 533, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Ti Zhu, how are you doing? Seeing these words is like seeing you in person. Let me give you a hug first, hoping to bring you some warmth. I completely understand the confusion you are currently facing. What we pursue often indicates what we lack. However, in many cases, we tend to lose ourselves in the pursuit of these things, and what we truly desire gets overshadowed by something else in our hearts. If we constantly obsess over what we want every day, every moment, life will undoubtedly become bitter and exhausting. Whenever we encounter obstacles or feel lost in this process, we tend to start doubting ourselves. In such a pessimistic state, we only blame ourselves relentlessly, and all we see are our shortcomings. Everyone has their own strengths, but most of these strengths require us to make the effort to discover them. Through exploring different fields, we will inevitably find areas where we excel. Cultivating interests and hobbies is a way to uncover our strengths. Everyone strives to make others think they are doing well, but in reality, the more dazzling someone appears on the surface, the more likely they are to feel empty and lonely inside. This is similar to the fact that those who appear strong on the outside often have the most fragile hearts. Everyone experiences a period of confusion, which is a stage of growth that we must go through. It is through this confusion that we can see the direction to move forward. We cannot constantly deny ourselves. Instead, we should give ourselves more positive suggestions and encouragement, have confidence in ourselves, learn to treat ourselves well. Only then will we realize that there have always been shining points within us, which we have simply overlooked. At the same time, we need to learn to focus more on ourselves and not always overlook our own feelings by constantly fixating on what others do. We are working hard for ourselves. When we learn to pay attention to ourselves, we will gain a better understanding of ourselves, and our perspectives on problems and things will change. At times, it is also necessary for us to build ourselves. We should strive to become the person we want to be, and move in that direction step by step. We can accumulate knowledge, interact with outstanding individuals, and engage in meaningful activities to broaden our horizons. Finally, I hope that you can quickly resolve the confusion in your heart, but what's even more important is for you to build self-confidence. Keep going! Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "After reading the description, I was wondering why you have your own different interpretations and views on character. Let's do some self-exploration. First, try to recall when you had a different understanding of character. What happened then? What is the basis for your conclusions on character? Do all types of character match with friends in real life, or are they based on novels and films? How do you feel about your original family? Have you experienced any childhood trauma? Do your parents use \"character\" to negatively evaluate you? Do you think you're unbearable just because you think you can see through character? But have you really seen through it? We all know that everyone in the world has their own independent personality and traits. Of course, we can't rule out the existence of some common traits between us and others, but we are always different from others. Just like how you can analyze character so logically, I can't do that. Therefore, we are all unique. What you have summarized may only represent certain common traits in a small number of people, and cannot represent the character of everyone. Do you agree? Also, every person has their own way of thinking and different ways of dealing with others. I suggest you not to get stuck, try to see the strengths and weaknesses in different people, and then choose friends who are suitable for your own traits. Of course, don't forget that you are also imperfect, with both strengths and weaknesses. The world loves you, and I wish you all the best.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, hugs to you~ \"Having a special understanding and sensitivity towards personality\" must make you a very observant person in life, that's great, give yourself a pat on the back, how about that? Next, based on your description, I will analyze it, please forgive me if I make any mistakes and feel free to discuss it with me. As for those mischievous classmates, I despise them and think that they are without prospects and will not achieve good grades. In order to achieve good results, I have always been thinking about what I need to do and what kind of person I want to become, even if the real me is not like that, I still want to change my mindset. It's great, but you seem to be too utilitarian and see things in black and white. The education we receive tells us that diligence is good and laziness is bad; obedience is good and mischief is bad. But, is it really so when applied to a three-dimensional person? \u3010First, learn to view others from multiple perspectives and let go of preconceived judgments\u3011 I'm not trying to defend lazy people, just providing you with a new perspective: I remember reading an article in a textbook, roughly saying that lazy people are creative, and many technological inventions in the world were invented by lazy people trying to find ways to be lazy. You see, such a novel point of view can't be brought up by \"good children.\" \u3010Second, don't be so utilitarian, take it slow, perceive yourself, perceive \"human nature\"\u3011 You are eager to improve yourself and label everything that hinders you as bad, you observe others in the same way in life, and you push yourself in the same way. Even if you are not like that, you want to force yourself to be like that, and your motivation to move forward partly comes from your disdain for negative personality traits. It can be said that these two aspects complement each other and reinforce your viewpoint. We all have a process of understanding ourselves, including \"what kind of person do I want to become, how can I become that?\" But before that, we should ask ourselves: \"What kind of person am I?\" \"How do I view myself?\" And you skip this step, and after you have thoroughly examined your personality, you believe that all you have are flaws when in fact, it's better to see it as returning to this step. I see everyone's personality very clearly, even their thought patterns (at least I think so). Three, thorough understanding of \"personality,\" but insufficient understanding of human nature and change, what does that mean? It's like you consider \"person\" as the vessel and carrier of \"personality,\" ignoring the person itself. I believe that \"personality\" exists based on human nature. When observing a person's personality, we should first consider our common human nature. For example, there is a famous case in psychology called the Genovese case, where there were so many bystanders but no one stopped it. Before this happened, we can imagine that there were impulsive people, cautious people, brave people, and cowardly people, but witnessing such a brutal crime, they all remained silent, obviously, \"human nature\" dominated us. So not to mention the contradictions we all have, personality is governed by a changing and complex proportion, but more fundamentally, we have our \"human nature,\" which includes: human nature (commonalities), individuality (differences from others), and variability (plasticity). It is normal for us to label others, it allows us to quickly find ourselves in unfamiliar environments and better understand the responses of others in our interactions with them. But do not forget that when you interact with others, you are facing a living person. Instead of judging others, immerse yourself in actual communication with them and pay attention to the details. Four, self-disgust, use this opportunity to get to know yourself. Our judgments of others, that objective and detached observer state, can also influence our understanding of ourselves. Self-criticism and self-praise are common patterns. When criticizing ourselves, once we start, the snowball effect takes over. If you say you are timid, you can find many examples from your memory of times when you were timid and then criticize them one by one from a third-party perspective, which leads to many negative evaluations. The more you analyze, the more you feel trapped in a quagmire. In all of this, you completely forget about the opposite examples: for example, being brave, considerate of others, confident... an introverted person can also be a social butterfly; an extroverted person may not want to make new friends. Our personalities do have a rigid aspect, but our behavior can change. In other words, even if you really are a timid, selfish, and insecure person, so what? Does that mean you won't be able to do something that makes you proud? In the game \"Chinese Paladin 3,\" there is a character named Bi Ping, who is timid, greedy, but in the end, sacrificed his life for the greater good. We can say that, that is what it means to be human, that is human nature. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Apartment, hello~ giving you a big hug Actually, I feel the same way as you do, and sometimes I feel like I was born into this world as a mistake. But after being encouraged by friends, hopeful teachers, and entrusted with hopes from parents, I feel that I still have value. Everyone is unique and different, and you don't need to compare yourself with others. The biggest enemy of each person is themselves. I used to think that I was worthless, with an introverted, timid, and insecure personality, while others around me were confident, optimistic, positive, and bold. I felt like a small, inconspicuous ant hiding in a corner. It felt like no matter how much effort I put in, it was never even close to one-thousandth of what others achieved. Perhaps in the eyes of others, I am an enviable person with good grades and the admiration of teachers. But others' expectations of you and your own expectations of yourself are different. Others may think that you are already good enough, but in your own eyes, what you want is far from enough, because the effort you put in does not result in proportional rewards; it even seems inversely proportional. But as time goes by, I slowly stop feeling that way. A friend once told me, \"Why do you have to compare yourself to others? You are you. Everyone is different, there are things that others have that you don't, and there are things that you have that others may not have. Just be yourself, there's no need to be like others. If we were all the same, then what's the point of this world being fascinating?\" So, you shouldn't have such thoughts. \"There is no perfect person in the world, everyone has their own shortcomings and weaknesses that they dare not face directly.\" We should take a different approach: \u2460 Continuously discover our own strengths, and discover more of them. \u2461 Learn to believe in ourselves, ignore others' evaluations, because no one understands ourselves better than we do. This habit and personality might have developed from a lack of understanding and emotional resonance in our growth or life, but the more we are like this, the harder it is to be understood. So, when necessary, we also need the help of professional counselors to break this cycle.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, can see the shining points on others. When encountering things, you can approach them with a positive and optimistic attitude. What a wonderful quality and advantage that is! You should give yourself a thumbs up for your excellence. Always interested in personality, have you ever asked yourself, what do you think is a good result? Is it the common perception of success, such as poor academic performance indicating no prospects? What are the consequences of having no prospects, not being recognized by others, or not living up to your own value? The focus of these two considerations are different. Also, how do you define a good result? Is it based on external success, recognition, respect, or internal growth? How do you define your own values? Do you use external criteria or your own true feelings? These are things that you need to be aware of. I clearly feel that you use external criteria to suppress your true inner feelings, trying to achieve results that you do not feel but can be recognized by others. Where does this power come from? Forcing oneself to do things, the mind will generate various judgments that hinder and disturb oneself. This is the normal state of the mind, it will definitely make various judgments about oneself. Maybe uncertain, return to the inner self and ask about your true feelings. It is not what others think is right, but what you feel in your heart. The actions guided by this touch of the heart are beautiful and not various judgments. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear question asker! Have you encountered something recently that has caused you to feel frustrated? Actually, this is a sign of extreme lack of confidence. Because of your lack of confidence, sometimes you doubt yourself even when you've done something right. It's actually a good thing to be able to recognize your own shortcomings and work on improving them. However, if you constantly focus on your weaknesses and ignore your strengths, or even treat your strengths as weaknesses, then it's a serious problem. You should strengthen your self-confidence by thinking about your talents and hobbies. You will realize that you have many strengths. I think your strength lies in being observant, being able to carefully observe the people around you as well as yourself. This is your advantage. Many people don't have a clear understanding of themselves, they can't see their own shortcomings, and they always indulge in self-admiration. They don't listen to others' opinions or acknowledge others' strengths, and this is fatal. You, on the other hand, are very good because you can constantly improve yourself. But the key is to adjust your mindset, not to feel inferior, and to bravely confront your shortcomings while actively learning from others' strengths. This is the way to continuously improve and enhance yourself. You should firmly believe that nobody is perfect and there are always people stronger and weaker than you in the world. I hope this helps you and wish you good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer you. Feeling unworthy is just your perception of yourself, but cognitive biases also exist. The way you evaluate yourself may not be the same as how others evaluate you. Seeing through your own personality is actually a genuine way to face yourself, knowing your true thoughts and feelings. Moreover, others cannot see what is in your heart, precisely because of this. You are downplaying your strengths and magnifying your weaknesses, which is why you feel unworthy. As independent individuals, not only are we independent as individuals, but our character and personality are also integrated. To truly know ourselves, we need to understand ourselves from various perspectives. We can't draw conclusions based on just one aspect. Sometimes, you feel that you are lively or quiet... In fact, every personality has its unique characteristics, and there is no distinction between good and bad. As for the future, personal abilities have a big impact. Even if someone is very bad and has no outstanding qualities, their life may not necessarily be poor. So, in this aspect, don't think too much about it. As long as you do well in the things you should do, your abilities won't be too poor. Live in the present, work hard, don't dwell on things that haven't yet happened, just focus on doing your best in what you have at hand, and your self-evaluation will be different. Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11314 + }, + { + "question": "I want to do certain things, but I don't dare to, and I don't know how to communicate with my parents.", + "description": "Only child, 20 years old. Because I am a girl, and an only child, my parents are more cautious about letting me go out. I usually don't stay out past 6 PM, and if I do, my parents will come pick me up. I've also gotten used to hurrying home before my mom gets back (before, I was afraid of being \"caught\" going out to play, but now it's just a habit). I rarely go on trips with friends; usually, it's only with family or relatives that I can go on long trips. During the long summer vacation after the college entrance examination, I went out with friends twice, for two days and one night; and three to five days, respectively. In the summer vacation of my freshman year, I went on a three-day and two-night trip with friends once. And these past two summers, I wanted to go on a rural trip or attend certain training camps or do field research, but I hesitated. I can't rule out the possibility of being afraid of harsh conditions, but I feel like it wouldn't be a problem to be with everyone. Maybe it's the concern that my self-care skills are poor and I would need others to take care of me. But what I'm most afraid of is talking to my parents about these things, about going to live away from home for several days, and the conditions... I remember one time when I wanted to volunteer at the subway station, but it was firmly rejected. They said it was just standing there all day guiding people, and I shouldn't go. And I... It's not that they're overly protective of me, but they might be slightly more hesitant than other parents in allowing me to do certain things. For example, taking a bus alone. Others might have done it in elementary or middle school, but for me, the first time was in high school or college.", + "keywords": "Family, parents' communication, process of growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your situation because I am a mother too. In our country, most mothers care more about their children than themselves. I believe all mothers want their children to grow up safe and healthy, and as a mother, I also hope for the same. But sometimes, when faced with problems concerning our children, we feel emotionally fragile. We can endure hardships and sufferings ourselves, as long as our children are healthy and safe. I know you are a sensible and obedient child. I suggest that you communicate your thoughts and feelings with your parents, showing them the side of you that is capable of protecting yourself. Let them see it and reduce their worries. This is something you can do. If possible, I suggest you tell your mother to transform her worries into blessings, because that's what I did. You can share my suggestion with your mother. When parents bless their children, it gives them positive energy and the courage to face their own path in life. Please understand your parents and learn from them. Through your parents, what have you learned? For example, how would you act if you have your own children in the future? This is something for you to ponder.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Darling, I'm sorry, but deep down you haven't become an independent person. Instead of saying that you don't know how to tell your parents about this matter, it's more accurate to say that you want to convince your parents to agree with what you're saying. Why do you want your parents' approval? Because you want them to help shoulder the responsibility. You've become accustomed to having your parents support you from behind. You're afraid and unwilling to take on the responsibility, but at the same time, you have a desire for independence and want to stick to your own ideas. However, the reality is that if you don't want to take responsibility, you have to accept your parents meddling in your affairs. If you want freedom, you have to accept the consequences of your choices. You can continue to be your parents' little darling or choose to be independent, but don't keep wavering, choose one and stay content. Best wishes, both I and the world love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "You need to first make them realize that you have become independent and self-aware, for example by taking care of yourself or sitting down and talking to them. Let them know that you have grown up and are no longer the little princess who needs to be coddled for everything. If you want to go somewhere and are confident that you can take care of yourself, then go ahead. Parents also know that they can't protect you forever, so all you need to do is show them that you are capable of doing things on your own and let them trust you earlier on.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "From your description, your parents are typical overprotective. They have a lot of anxiety and overly protect you. Deep down, they see you as a child who is unwilling to take on heavy responsibilities in society. They don't believe in your ability to take care of yourself and handle things. We obviously have some resentment towards this behavior of our parents, and our thinking is logical. We need to figure out how to break free from this bondage.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18131 + }, + { + "question": "Why do I feel extremely angry when I see my mother being weak?", + "description": "At home, my dad is a person who is extremely stingy with money, reluctant to spend it, and always wants to save it when he has some. After my mom retired, the household expenses were basically covered by her retirement pension, but she still found a job outside. My dad often tries to persuade my mom to deposit her salary from her current job into his personal fixed account. Before my mom retired, her wages were all taken by my dad to save, but if she wanted to withdraw money, such as for dental expenses, my dad would strongly oppose and we would end up arguing. I advised my mom to open her own account and save money herself, and she listened to me. However, today, I overheard their conversation and it was still my dad who wanted to deposit my mom's salary into his account. My mom refused, but she unexpectedly told him the password to her fixed savings card, and she said it willingly. In an instant, the word \"pleasing\" came to my mind. I felt very angry and I don't know how to sort out my own emotions.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, conduct disorders, family control.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Author, hello, I understand your feelings very well. From your description, I know: 1. The financial power in your family is in your father's hands, and your father has veto power. As long as he thinks there is no need to spend money, he will not spend it. 2. Your mother has always been obedient to your father. Even if she refuses to let your father help save money, she tells your father the password. I didn't understand this part. Did your mother give the savings card to your father? I think she did, otherwise the password would be useless! 3. You feel that your mother has always been trying to please your father. In your eyes, your mother is very weak, and you have a feeling of resentment that she's not assertive. 4. You are angry about your mother's \"pleasing behavior.\" I'm still a little confused about this part. Are you worried that your mother will have no money in the future, or are you worried that all the money is with your father and your mother will be bullied in the future, or are you concerned that you will have difficulties using money? Analysis of reasons: 1. I guess you are also a girl, so you are very sensitive to your mother's lack of financial freedom. From a female perspective, you feel that your mother has been wronged and that she doesn't even have the right to use the money she earns. In your eyes, your mother is a bit silly. 2. In your mind, men and women are equal. You find it difficult to accept your mother's proactive compromises, especially when it comes to money that she earned herself. You think your father is too chauvinistic. 3. You are very strong-willed, and you feel ashamed of other people's \"pleasing behavior.\" You feel that your mother doesn't owe your father anything and doesn't need to always comply. Suggestions: 1. Have a family meeting to discuss family savings. Make your thoughts clear and also listen to your parents' thoughts. Then discuss the amount of money to save each month. Of course, this is premised on the willingness of your parents to participate. 2. Remind your mother appropriately and persuade your father. If they don't listen, choose to accept it because it is a matter between your parents, and as children, you shouldn't interfere too much. 3. You can find excuses to borrow money from your mother, then help her save it, and give it back to her when she needs it. If your mother is not old, you can also persuade her to buy some medical insurance to prepare for the future. Or, you can ask your mother to buy insurance for you, which can also be seen as regular savings. 4. Learn psychology, use psychological knowledge to analyze yourself, or try meditation. You can learn these on the \"College\" and \"Meditation Planet\" platforms. They have many benefits. 5. Seek the help of a professional psychological counselor because you are the one currently experiencing emotional confusion. Your parents seem to be accustomed to this way of getting along, so you can choose a counselor to guide you and it may help you solve your problem faster. This is my analysis and response. I hope it can help you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP~ In your parents' relationship, your mother's communication style seems to be \"pleaser type\", she is unable to maintain her boundaries, and she naturally becomes the \"exploited\" and \"bullied\" victim. On the other hand, your father's communication style is \"blamer type\", he continuously demands from your mother, and naturally becomes the \"abuser\". Probably due to your natural love for your mother, you have formed an \"alliance\" with her in the relationship among the three of you, and her anger is projected onto you, making you feel angry, standing up for injustice, and aggrieved. Is it like this? Actually, the dynamics of a relationship is not what it seems on the surface. The reason why your mother becomes the \"victim\" and your father becomes the \"abuser\" is because of the \"patterns\" and \"balance\" that they have formed in their long-term interaction. The reason why this hasn't been broken is because of their subconscious choices, hidden benefits they receive in this pattern, and the lack of willingness from both sides to recognize, grow, and change. Why does your mother choose to sacrifice herself and be exploited? It is likely because in her own upbringing, she was often neglected and not valued. The pattern she learned may be that she needs to constantly give and over-compensate in order to gain others' recognition, feel loved, and have a sense of worth. It is also possible that being a victim allows her to experience a sense of moral righteousness and superiority. These hidden benefits, even your mother herself may not be aware of. Every relationship has needs, and if a relationship hasn't ended, it means that certain needs of him and her are still being fulfilled in that relationship. In psychology, there is a concept called triangulation. In a family system, if there is conflict between the spouses, one or both sides may develop noticeable anxiety. In order to alleviate the anxiety, another family member will enter the marital relationship and balance the relationship, forming a triangular relationship. The anxiety and anger in their relationship are clearly projected onto you, making you express these emotions and helping to maintain the stability of this family system. How can you sort out your own emotions and feelings? Firstly, you probably need to hand back the responsibility for this relationship problem to your parents and not shoulder the responsibility that you shouldn't carry. Their relationship issues are their own choices. Secondly, for a system to evolve and change into a different stable system, it may require all three parties to grow and elevate themselves. Everyone needs to be able to adapt to changes and adjust their behavior, which is the most difficult part and may require seeking the help of a family system therapist to assist the whole family in making adjustments. Thirdly, if one or both individuals in the system make changes, for example, if your mother continues to grow and consciously and energetically maintains her boundaries, then the balance will be disrupted. However, if your father does not change, this relationship is likely to break. Give the responsibility back to them and let them handle it themselves. You only need to accept, understand, and be aware, then you won't be so anxious~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6871 + }, + { + "question": "Unable to escape the shadow of abusive parents? Unable to shake off the disgust towards them.", + "description": "Unable to escape the shadow of abusive parents, suppressing a lot of anger. Now parents no longer shout or insult excessively, but still unable to get rid of the disgust towards them.", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP (*\u02d8\ufe36\u02d8*).\uff61.:*#In recent years, with the popularization of the concept of the original family, we gradually realize that many of our problems originate from the original family. Just like you, even if your parents have shown some restraint now, you still cannot escape the shadow of the original family. #How to break free from the influence of the original family is a question that psychologists have been studying. If you want to eliminate or reduce the influence of the original family, first you need to leave the original family (if conditions allow). This is to avoid receiving negative influences from your parents. Secondly, you can learn more about psychology and improve your cognitive abilities in order to heal yourself. OP, you can also seek long-term counseling with a psychologist who can help analyze your problems and provide you with good assistance.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Now that you should be an adult, you can take care of yourself, and no longer rely on your parents. You can move out and live on your own, while earning money, you can also show love to others, date, get married, have your own children, and treat your own children well. Put in more effort for your own children, and let your parents see it, they will feel ashamed. This way, you can both relieve your frustration and cultivate a positive mindset.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "First, are you going through adolescence? Children at this stage are prone to developing such emotions towards their parents, and it may be temporary. Allow yourself to acknowledge it and reflect on the situations in which you feel the most averse. Second, discussing the suppressed anger towards your parents with a counselor can be helpful. This anger may no longer intensify and might even lead you to see your parents from a different perspective.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6582 + }, + { + "question": "I have a colleague who likes external attribution, what is the reason behind it?", + "description": "I have a colleague who, regardless of the size of the matter, whenever there's a problem, always blames others for what happened, or attributes it to certain influences. He never sees any issues with himself, even though he is actually very capable and the problems are easily solvable without affecting him at all. It has become his behavioral pattern, and I want to know what could be causing him to behave like this...", + "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Question asker, hello~~~ I can understand your confusion about interpersonal relationships at work, and I admire your ability to think critically about certain issues. Perhaps you are trying to extract the essence and learn from them. Based on your description of your coworker, I can analyze some of the reasons based on my own experience. I hope this can give you some inspiration and help you have a better relationship with your coworkers~ According to your description, \"regardless of the size of the problem, the blame is always on others,\" it indicates that he rarely takes responsibility for himself and rarely reflects on his own actions. \"In fact, he is very capable and the problems are easily solvable... this has become a pattern of behavior.\" It shows that his character has already formed (qualitative), and it is not easy to change his ingrained mindset. I speculate that the biggest reason for your coworker's tendency to attribute blame externally may be related to his family of origin and his social experiences. The family of origin is a common factor, accounting for a significant portion of the formation of one's character. Let me use one of my classmates as an example. She is the second child in her family, with an older sister and a younger brother. Despite having an ordinary family background, her parents had the mindset of favoring the son over the daughter, and the youngest brother was highly favored. Since she didn't receive love from her parents since she was young, coupled with her strong-willed personality, she didn't behave like most neglected girls who think they should be more obedient to win their parents' favor. Instead, she attributed all the faults to her brother. This was the first external attribution event in her life and the most memorable event that influenced her life. Based on the above example, you can understand him by analyzing his family, parents, and siblings' relationships. Perhaps this is the source of his current character. Social experiences are related to the era. Listening to my parents recall their experiences when they left school and entered society in the early 21st century, they mentioned that at that time, it was popular for young people to go south and work in factories. Leaving their hometown at a young age, they had little experience and almost stepped on every \"pitfall.\" Their wallets were stolen, unscrupulous employers didn't pay wages, and the working conditions were poor... These were necessary lessons for young people without any background at that time. Although the situation now is better, there are still many challenges. There are also many bosses who take advantage of young people as free labor. Without any precaution, they are likely to be deceived. I suppose your coworker is someone who has undergone social experiences. He may have encountered many difficulties and managed to overcome them due to his strong-willed personality. However, he made a mistake in thinking that every problem has only one solution, and he is too focused on solving problems that he forgets to reflect.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 7121 + }, + { + "question": "A family lacking emotional care is easily attracted to scoundrels. How should one fight back against them?", + "description": "The entire family does not know how to manage their emotions and does not pay attention to their inner feelings. They easily find partners who can please them. This can be seen from my uncles and aunts in the family. Unfortunately, the partners they find are not of good character. My uncle found a partner who is unfaithful, which led to their divorce and now their children often run away from home. My aunt found someone who knows how to please her, but he used to be a convict and is not responsible. Their child has also been deeply affected and has been in detention at a young age. When my aunt was young, many people pursued her because she was beautiful, but perhaps she needed emotional care, so she chose someone like that. The only difference is that my father found someone who does not know how to please him or help him vent his emotions, so there is domestic violence only in our family while the other three families did not experience it. I am also easily attracted to men who can provide emotional care to me. But when I find someone who is well-off and can provide emotional care, I often find out that they are mostly scumbags (they have more romantic relationships and it is not easy to keep a man like that). I can't get along with someone who is loyal but has a bad temper, and I find them annoying and fearful. So, my intimate relationships have always had problems, leading to being an older single woman. Especially after being hurt by scumbags, I am a bit afraid to pursue a relationship.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "From your description, I can see that you have made a very careful observation of your family and gained some experience. I will continue to analyze along your line of thinking. First of all, if we want people around us to cooperate with us or feel harmonious in our interactions with them, the other person must be very considerate and understanding of us. It is difficult for ordinary people to be patient and tolerant, which is also the reason why every family around us seems so disharmonious. Have you ever tried to cooperate with others, understand others, and be patient with them? Have you ever put yourself in a position of cooperating with others rather than needing to be accommodated? A person who needs others to cooperate with them is definitely a self-centered person who ignores others' feelings and only focuses on their own feelings. That's why you mentioned that the other half of your family seems to have a problem with their character. They need to constantly adapt to others, so they have to abandon their own needs. But this needs to be compensated for in other ways, so they may have extramarital affairs, engage in criminal activities, or even be confined to places like prison that are very rule-oriented. To give an inappropriate analogy, if a person feels itchy in one place, but the usual gentle scratching or even the normal way of scratching doesn't work, they need a very violent way of scratching, even scratching until they bleed. So they need a very heavy and strong force to make themselves feel something, because they have always neglected themselves. In fact, whether a person is sensitive or insensitive to interpersonal relationships, they need to start by being aware of themselves and gradually understand themselves and their needs in order to avoid compensating for themselves with very extraordinary behavior. Of course, self-awareness is not an easy thing. We need to practice slowly, just like getting angry. At the beginning, it is easy for us to get angry at others and it is difficult to control our emotions, even leading to physical conflicts. Then we need to gradually become aware of ourselves and keep ourselves at a rational level. At first, perhaps we only realize that we have hit someone after hitting them, and we feel deep disgust for ourselves, thinking that this is not good or conducive to intimate relationships. After a while, we will stop suddenly when we are about to hit someone, thinking that I seem to want to hit someone again, I shouldn't hit someone. After a period of time, we will gradually become aware of why we want to hit someone, what has happened between us? What kind of stimulus makes us want to solve things with violence? Further thinking, can we solve it without violence? In the end, there will be some flexibility, we will slowly analyze under what circumstances, with what kind of communication method, we can achieve effective communication. The process of self-awareness is a gradual process, and we need to be patient with ourselves and others. When either ourselves or others are not doing well, we should strive to understand and accommodate each other. When things are going well, it's a good idea to express appreciation and affirmation for each other, which will gradually promote real and effective communication and interaction between each other.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "You can deeply understand the issues within yourself, your family, and your lineage, which is very rare. In general, recognizing the problem is the first step towards change. If you don't even know where your own problems lie, you cannot grow and improve. At the same time, I want to point out that in recognizing this issue, you are only seeing a framework and surface level. If you can specifically observe the underlying patterns and logic beneath this surface, delve deep into the process and truly understand it, then this awareness alone is enough to change your destiny and put an end to the misfortunes passed down in your family. However, this requires a strong ability to perceive and sometimes involves exploration and reflection. Furthermore, you need to understand what the ultimate standard for a healthy and normal romantic relationship is. It is not about the other person compensating for your deficiencies. Only when you are self-sufficient can you have a healthy emotional life. Love that nourishes and nurtures is gentle and calm, not overly exciting. It slowly and gently nourishes the soul like a sweet spring. Excessively intense emotions often come with harm. The so-called unforgettable and all-consuming love is filled with deep mutual hurt and torment. This is often seen in movies and TV dramas, and is the kind of love that insecure attachment or masochistic personality types yearn for. If your family has a strong deficiency in some areas, you will try to find an excessive compensatory factor to balance your own needs. However, this overcompensation will bring about extreme problems. In reality, all insecure attachment types need a stable and healthy secure attachment type. If you have deficiencies, you need a self-sufficient person, not someone who is also deficient but overcompensates in certain areas. If you want to get married, you can find someone like this and avoid repeating the problems in your family. Perhaps you will still be drawn to someone who overcompensates for you and not interested in the secure attachment type that I mentioned. In that case, you can view it in this way: when you encounter someone who pacifies you, what you need is not that person, but to learn how to pacify and compensate for yourself. Just take what you want from them, but you don't necessarily have to marry them or spend your life with them. Once you find what you are lacking and become more self-sufficient, you can then find another self-sufficient person. With this kind of partnership, your marriage and emotions are more likely to be happy and lasting.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "You are researching this issue from a family background perspective, so let's dig deeper. You mentioned that your aunt and uncle both have similar problems, so what kind of relationship did your grandparents have? How did they communicate after marriage? You said that only your family experiences domestic violence? Is it verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse? What is your opinion of your father? Do you want to find someone similar to your father or completely different? Take your time to think, no rush to answer.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Don't talk about counterattacks, let's talk about positive thinking and making improvements. Learn some psychology and philosophy. Let me share my understanding of this: Psychology is on the fringe of philosophy, which is related to religion. Religion is about worldview and the world. Within the same system, one can transition from materialism to idealism, for example, Confucianism. From the Han dynasty's emphasis on materialism, to the excesses of Zhou Dunyi in the Song dynasty, the \"jumping off a cliff\" in the Southern Song dynasty, and finally reaching idealism with Wang Yangming in the Ming dynasty. In between, there should also be the notions of nothingness and emptiness. These four directions, as well as their intersections, all resonate with the times. Just like today, psychology has fallen into the trap of \"feel-good stories and pseudo-therapies\". Everything is attributed to the original family, everything is projected. How to solve this? I think it needs to be solved from within oneself. Once you become stronger, everything will be fine. Wishing you to find yourself and become stronger soon. Keep it up.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21834 + }, + { + "question": "31-year-old anxiety. It has been 8 months since breaking up with my ex-boyfriend. I blame him for being so weak.", + "description": "It has been eight months since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. He wasn't mentally or financially prepared for marriage, so he backed out. Although he has been going on blind dates, he hasn't found the right person yet. My mom keeps mentioning my age, which annoys me. I get frustrated whenever I see her, and sometimes I think about my ex-boyfriend and the days we used to date. I can't help but blame him for being so weak and getting scared of marriage.", + "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you said you broke up with your ex-boyfriend 8 months ago because you had some differences on the issue of marriage. Now, at 31 years old, you feel annoyed when your mom mentions your age. Sometimes, you think about the days when you were together with your ex-boyfriend and you think he was weak. For women, breaking up with a partner is indeed a painful thing, and in today's society, it is also easy to cause anxiety if a woman is over 30 and still not married. It is normal for you to feel annoyed and complain about it now. When a person is emotional, it is impossible to make rational decisions. I noticed that in your description, you only mentioned your ex-boyfriend and your mom, but you didn't mention your own situation, so I guess, on the matter of the breakup, have you not yet found yourself? I see that you said you and your ex-boyfriend were already discussing marriage, but he backed off. From this, we can see that your ex-boyfriend didn't want to get married, and you wanted to. Your goals were not the same, so it is normal to choose to end the relationship. But I noticed that you actually understand that the reason for the breakup is because he \"was not ready,\" meaning you know that your goals were not aligned. And you broke up 8 months ago and even went on blind dates, so actually, in your actions, you have accepted the fact of \"breaking up.\" In other words, you have known all along that you and your ex-boyfriend weren't going to work out, so why are you still entangled in this matter now? I guess, were you always sacrificing yourself to maintain a relationship that didn't suit you? I think your ex-boyfriend may not have been weak from the beginning. At least he would give you the illusion that \"he would marry you,\" otherwise, you wouldn't start dating him with the goal of getting married. In other words, he wasn't prepared from the beginning, he just started dating you with a trial attitude. This kind of irresponsible man is clearly not suitable for entering into a marriage. Later, your behavior also shows that you understand he is this kind of person, but you still have attachment, even thinking that he is just \"weak,\" you are making excuses for him, thinking that you should find a way to get married. You seem to be very accustomed to sacrificing yourself and accommodating others. Whether it is a romantic relationship or a marital relationship, there must be mutual attraction to maintain it. If you continue to sacrifice yourself like this, the other party will oppress you. If you don't love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Every setback in life is actually providing you with experience for your growth. Now, you might as well take a break, tidy up your emotions, and seriously think about what happened in that previous relationship. Otherwise, if you enter into a new relationship with these issues, you may still repeat the same patterns.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Poster, hello~~~ First, give you a hug. From the description, it can be understood that your mother is urging you to get married. You have just broken up with your boyfriend because he showed weakness towards marriage. Now you can't find a suitable blind date. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Marriage, especially the choice of a marriage partner, is a matter that concerns your own future development and should be carefully considered. Even if your mother urges you, you should not make hasty decisions because this decision will impact your whole life after it. You are the one who will bear the consequences of this decision, so you must consider it carefully based on your own willingness. Next time when your mother persuades you, you can use this viewpoint to refute her. 2. In a sense, the boyfriend's weakness can also be understood as a cautious attitude towards marriage. After marriage, you will face many problems. It is no longer just about being a couple, but also about making many changes and preparations. From this perspective, maybe you can feel a little better. I hope it helps you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP! Your mother's urging has intensified your inner anxiety. You want to get married, but your ex-boyfriend is not psychologically and financially ready. The disappointments from blind dates have led you to attribute all your circumstances to your ex-boyfriend, accusing him of cowardice, and being unable to \"meet\" your desire to get married. Is that right? In psychology, there is a concept called \"projection.\" Projection refers to projecting one's own personality, attitudes, motives, or desires onto others. Psychoanalysts believe that projection is a defense mechanism individuals use to alleviate inner guilt when their ego opposes their superego. You have high demands on yourself internally, and you dislike the anxious, cowardly, lonely, and irresponsible side of yourself, so you project this onto your ex-boyfriend, making him become the person you despise, so that you can be a \"good\" version of yourself. At the same time, you feel responsible for the distressing matter of getting married, but by blaming your ex-boyfriend, you don't have to feel irresponsible or neglectful. At this time, projecting and blaming your ex-boyfriend for your marriage does not provide substantial assistance. On the contrary, because of your mindset and the energy you radiate, you may easily encounter unsuitable individuals. Marriage is a dialogue between values and values, and simultaneously a connection between two independent and mature individuals. You should calm down and reflect on your own issues. In terms of choosing a partner, is it your own criteria for choosing a partner that are problematic, or is it your mindset or internal patterns that are problematic? Then, make targeted changes. Marriage is not the only destination for women, and the first thing each individual must deal with is their relationship with themselves. When you constantly improve your self-worth and have a more fulfilling inner state, you will have the possibility of meeting the right person and having the opportunity to form a better intimate relationship.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17950 + }, + { + "question": "Social anxiety disorder, tomorrow is the first day of college, feeling very anxious, what should I do?", + "description": "Social anxiety disorder is particularly sensitive to psychology. During the summer vacation, I tried to eliminate social anxiety by talking to peers while doing promotional activities in my hometown. For a while, my confidence increased, but recently I have returned to square one, and it has become even worse than before. I dare not talk to others, I am not confident when speaking, and I don't know how to chat with people. I thought about the things that were engraved in my mind after returning from my hometown (which was also the time when my confidence was strongest). For example, 1- I went to a new place to do promotions and thought I could have a good conversation with another promoter like before. But we didn't have much in common, and I comforted myself by saying that she doesn't like to talk. But she had a pleasant conversation with another promoter. 2- I went back to my hometown again, but this time I went alone for the first time. I thought I could handle it, but when a group of people were discussing things about me, I panicked and had no idea what to do. I took the bus without knowing the local bus system. I thought I could use mobile payment but it didn't work, and I didn't have any loose change on me. I also spoke very childishly, and I felt like others thought I was stupid. 3- I chatted online with my future college classmate for the first time. I thought we could have a good conversation, but then I found out that we are not in the same campus, and I couldn't find any topic to talk about. It was an awkward conversation. She never replied to me afterwards. Am I asking for too much?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, social adaptation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello everyone: The new semester is about to start, and I'm feeling very anxious because of social anxiety. I used to have some relief from social anxiety, but due to certain events, I've become increasingly lacking in confidence. Hugs to you! Experiencing setbacks during the process of change can indeed deal a blow to our confidence. However, I see your words behind, and I want to give you a thumbs up. You are a very smart person, you know how to find the reasons based on your own experiences. This ability to think critically and reflect is not something that everyone possesses. So, you don't need to lack confidence. Let's address the three things you mentioned one by one. In the previous place where you worked as a promoter, you had a good relationship with others, but in the new environment, you don't have any shared interests with this promoter, yet she gets along well with other people. Well, even the most outstanding person can't be liked by everyone. Just because you had a good relationship with one promoter doesn't mean you have to have a good relationship with everyone. Maybe the promoter in the new environment has different backgrounds and interests from you, so you don't have any shared interests. And maybe she has common interests with other promoters, so they can chat easily. You see, many celebrities who are beautiful, smart, and have high emotional intelligence also have people who don't like them, and they may even have many haters. So, even the most outstanding person can't please everyone or become friends with everyone. The fact that you don't have any shared interests doesn't mean you are not good, nor does it mean she is not good. It simply means you lack common hobbies and experiences. Not understanding the public transportation in your hometown and feeling stupid because others might think that way. Let me share my own example with you. Once, I went to an unfamiliar place and didn't know how to use mobile payment on the bus. So, without any change, I had to get off the bus in front of the driver and find another mode of transportation. So you see, your experience is actually something that most of us have gone through. When faced with unfamiliar things in an unfamiliar environment, we all tend to feel awkward to varying degrees. This kind of thing is normal and doesn't mean you are stupid, as you believe. In addition, you mentioned that many people were discussing your matters, which made you feel panicked. Well, let me ask you to recall when you were a student, did your teachers feel panicked when a group of students were discussing them? A group of people discussing your matters doesn't necessarily mean they are speaking ill of you, they might even be praising you. For example, if there's a student who performs well academically, their relatives and neighbors would often discuss and encourage their own children to learn from them. This kind of discussion is not criticism, but affirmation. First time chatting with college classmates online and not having any shared interests. This problem is similar to your first problem. We cannot make everyone like us, nor can we make everyone our friend. It's normal for the other person not to reply and not to have any shared interests. I have also encountered situations in my life where others didn't reply to my messages. Sometimes, I myself have forgotten to reply to others because something unexpected happened. So, it's really normal for the other person not to reply or to not have any shared interests. It doesn't have anything to do with whether you are good or not. Regarding the issues you mentioned, here are some suggestions that I hope will help you: 1. Change your cognition. In the three problems you mentioned above, you have a tendency to think in absolutes. This kind of thinking assumes that you must be liked by everyone and you must get along with everyone. As we mentioned before, even the most outstanding person can't be liked by everyone. We already have our family and friends who love us, and that's already a blessing, so why force ourselves to seek approval from everyone? Whether the other person likes you or not has no direct relation to your level of excellence. Denying yourself just because you don't have any shared interests with unfamiliar people is not the right approach. 2. Debate with your erroneous thoughts. The ABC theory tells us that it's not the event itself that triggers our emotions, but our cognition of it. With the same situation of not having any shared interests with unfamiliar people, some people may doubt themselves and their self-confidence decreases, while others may seek objective reasons and not take it to heart. For example, when someone you know passes by and doesn't greet you, some people may think that the person has snubbed them, while others may simply think that the person didn't notice them. The way we perceive the situation is important. You can try to identify the unreasonable aspects of your cognition that are causing your self-confidence to decrease and engage in a debate with those irrational thoughts, replacing them with new and rational thoughts. 3. Systematic desensitization therapy. After changing your cognition, you can try systematic desensitization methods to gradually reduce your fear of the outside world and improve your self-confidence. Take your social interactions step by step during the new semester. The first step would be to try engaging in group discussions with others; the second step would be to confidently engage in conversations with others; the third step would be to try speaking up in a group... The best way to fight fear is to face it head-on and do the things that you find scary. Finally, I want to tell you, you mentioned that you are very sensitive emotionally. What I want to say is that being sensitive is not entirely a bad thing. Any personality has its own strengths and weaknesses. Being sensitive may make you overly concerned about other people's opinions in daily life, but it can also allow you to empathize more deeply with others' thoughts and emotions, thereby enhancing your interpersonal skills. So, you don't need to lack confidence because of your personality. I hope you can gain self-confidence and continue to improve.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 57, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 57, + "end": 87, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 87, + "end": 154, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 154, + "end": 166, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 166, + "end": 185, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 185, + "end": 253, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 253, + "end": 366, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 366, + "end": 488, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 488, + "end": 507, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 507, + "end": 582, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 582, + "end": 662, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 662, + "end": 687, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 687, + "end": 730, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 730, + "end": 816, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 816, + "end": 835, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 835, + "end": 989, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 989, + "end": 1010, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 1010, + "end": 1016, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1016, + "end": 1197, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1197, + "end": 1209, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1209, + "end": 1241, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 1241, + "end": 1371, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 1371, + "end": 1433, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1433, + "end": 1441, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1441, + "end": 1448, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 1448, + "end": 1561, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1561, + "end": 1593, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1593, + "end": 1730, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 1730, + "end": 1748, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the problem you mentioned has inspired me, and I would like to share my own experience with you, hoping it will be helpful. When I was in first grade, I hardly spoke a word in class. By the end of first grade, the teacher even mistook me for a girl. (I used to be embarrassed to talk about this, but now I see it as part of my personal story.) I consider myself a helpful and morally upright person, but because of social anxiety, I spoke very little even in elementary and middle school. While I watched the \"troublemakers\" thrive in class, I missed out on forming close friendships and started doubting myself. Therefore, from the day I received my acceptance letter after the college entrance examination, I saw university as a milestone for me to change. I wanted to express myself and make like-minded friends. On my first day of college, I met a kind senior who helped me arrange accommodation and purchase daily necessities. This warm relationship opened up a new realm of self-improvement in university for me. I joined five different clubs (calligraphy and painting association, dance association, public speaking and eloquence society, debating society, poetry recitation association) and also became a member of the university student union and the department student union. (Looking back, I don't recommend freshmen joining so many clubs as it may hinder their studies, but the impact of this college experience on me was significant.) One vivid memory was when I participated in the university-level poetry recitation competition. I was nervous during the preliminary round and got eliminated in front of so many people. But the president of the association gave me great encouragement and believed that I could do it. The night before the finals, I practiced listening to recordings on the sports field repeatedly. Finally, I won first place in the university finals in front of hundreds of spectators. I have also reflected on my personal experiences: my social anxiety in the past was because there were always \"unfriendly\" people around me who liked to ridicule or make fun of my behavior, which led to a lack of self-confidence. The change in my mindset came when I suddenly realized that no matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to make everyone like me, just like how not everyone likes money. Therefore, I lowered my expectations of myself. From hoping for everyone to like me, to hoping for some people to like me, from thinking I must have complete control, to accepting some loss of control. These were not easy steps to take, but ultimately it made me realize that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I am who I am, and I express myself only to let like-minded friends find me. If someone doesn't like me, well, they don't like me, after all, it's not something I can control. Supportive relationships are the beneficial ones, while others can naturally go their own way. I've written quite a lot, so I'll stop here. I hope this helps and wish you good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "New school season represents a new beginning, but for many students, it also brings new pressures. Many people have expressed the idea that they would like to become invisible, so that their roommate in the dormitory cannot notice them, and classmates and teachers cannot see them. They want to live in their own world, without pretending to smile for anyone, without pretending to be cheerful when afraid, without being unjustly treated for no reason, without being unable to reject lending things to others that they can't bear to use themselves... In fact, people of different ages, occupations, and different times are all under the pressure of social interaction. Students, company employees, teachers, workers, different people face different levels of pressure and different directions of pressure, but they all have a wish to escape this kind of pressure and live the life they want. 1. Find a place for spiritual refuge. I once met a girl who was in a social anxiety group, because I was the same. We agreed to meet at Beijing Olympic Forest Park. I was very anxious and scared when I went there, afraid of embarrassment and making a fool of myself. She is a graduate student and currently an intern at a company, doing data-related work. After meeting, she took me to a place and we came to a small lake northwest of the forest park. It was just after 6 o'clock in the evening, autumn, the sky was reflected with rosy clouds, and the quiet and pleasant trees and lake water would not disturb you. I relaxed a lot. She asked me to look at the sky, where several flocks of swallows were flying from the northwest to the south. She is not good at facing strangers, and she is the same with her colleagues at work. Every time she accidentally meets a colleague, she just smiles awkwardly and walks past them. When she needs to communicate with colleagues at work, she is also cautious and does not dare to speak loudly. She is also afraid to participate in company gatherings, and she is always silent at the gathering table. Her colleagues urge her to speak, but she becomes more nervous. She said she interns three days a week. When she is not interning, she comes to this lake in the evening and watches the swallows in the sky. They fly over here every day. She counts how many swallows fly by, and when it gets dark and she can't see clearly, she goes back. This place can relax her and relieve the pressure in her mind. In fact, no matter how difficult we are, there is always a place that can heal us. Just like when we just started working, I used to listen to audios every night, and I liked to go hiking on weekends. Some people may like to listen to music, and some people like to paint. When we feel overwhelmed, we might as well find a place to take refuge. Look at the stars on the school playground at night, buy a magazine at the newsstand next to the school, watch a movie at the cinema, run on the treadmill and learn to dance at the gym. There is always a place suitable for you. 2. Help your classmates more. In every profession, there are people who are afraid of social interaction. Have you ever thought that a teacher can be a social anxiety sufferer? My high school Chinese teacher is such a person. When I was in the second year of high school, several newly graduated teachers came to the school, and this Chinese teacher was one of them. He was particularly gentle and looked very weak. He had poor eyesight and strabismus. When he looked elsewhere, he might be looking at you. I think everyone must have encountered such a person when they were in school, and many people became the target of ridicule. When the teacher started teaching, we could all feel his nervousness, and even his speech was stuttering. Some students secretly laughed at him. As a student who knew nothing, I couldn't understand his pressure at that time, but now I understand, and I admire him very much. If it were me, I don't know how long I could persist, but he, by the time I graduated from high school, had already become a formal teacher in the school from an intern. When the second year of high school ended, he no longer taught our class, but in the teacher evaluation, he was one of the most popular teachers in the grade. People who suffer from social anxiety, depression, and other problems have a big advantage, which is empathy. They can understand others more deeply. I don't know when it started, many people would go to chat with the Chinese teacher, and he used his advantage to help many people seriously. So, from one day, everyone started to listen to his class seriously, just like a teacher protecting students, they also protected him from the bottom of their hearts. So, you can use your own advantages to help classmates more. Even if you are introverted and don't like to talk, your classmates will naturally accept you when they see your kindness. There are still many good people in society. 3. Don't isolate yourself and integrate into life. I have seen a movie that many people have watched. It's called \"Good Will Hunting\". I won't go into the plot too much, but there is a paragraph that is written very well, and I want to share it with you: \"You're just a kid, you don't know what you're talking about. Ask you about art and you could probably spout off a lot of superficial perceptive things from art books. About Michelangelo, you know a lot: his political aspirations, his relationship with the Pope, his sexual orientation, all of his work. But you don't know the smell of the Sistine Chapel. You've never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; and if I asked about women, you'd probably give me a false analysis based on personal biases, but you couldn't describe the beauty of waking up next to a woman, the feeling of having an angel come down from heaven for you, the sensation of being rescued from hell. You don't know the taste of what it's like to spend two full months in a hospital, holding the hand of the woman you love, and having the doctor look at you knowing the visiting hours rule doesn't apply to someone like you. You don't know what it's like to truly lose something. It is only by loving someone more than yourself that you can truly understand\" \"I'm not liked\" \"Nobody wants to hang out with me, it's awkward to be with me\" \"Are they talking about me, did I do something funny just now?\" Many social anxiety sufferers will have such hints, and then silently shut themselves in, sit in their seats without moving, finally it's the weekend, feeling exhausted, just want to sleep at home for a day. Many people with social anxiety will eventually become reclusive and avoid going out, but avoiding can only worsen the condition and not help improve it. If you do well as a salesperson, even though the result may not be satisfactory, it's like lighting a candle in a dark room, even if it can't illuminate every dark corner, if there are more candles, the room will be brighter. Whenever you feel relieved, go try it out, seriously experience friendship, experience love. When you have enough support, you will have the ability to overcome fear. 4. Acknowledge yourself, you deserve to be liked These days, a very interesting phrase came up, \"deserve\". Every social anxiety cutie will have such an underlying color in their heart, that is, \"I must not be worthy of love\" \"They must be disgusted with me\". I am also doing psychological counseling. My counselor asked me today, \"Our counseling session is one hour, but every time I give you an extra half hour or even two hours, what do you think?\" I said, you are very good to me, I feel indebted to you. She said, \"I knew you would say that. I give you extra time because you \"deserve\" it as every visitor who comes to me. In my heart, I have great respect for them (not respect, actually I forgot what word it was), and they are all very good. When I give you extra help, there is only one reason, and that is because you \"deserve\" it. So, no matter how bad you think you are in social interaction, no matter how lost you feel, there will still be people on this platform who will leave you messages and help you, because through your words, they can feel your kindness, perseverance, and determination, so you are worthy. In university, when someone compliments you and helps you, seize this opportunity and tell yourself that you are worthy of receiving these. Just like the first floor said, you are not bad, fear comes from self-denial. Just like my response to a teacher's fixed mindset, \"I am not worthy of being given more help, not worthy of being loved\", that is my fear. And the core of overcoming social anxiety is self-acceptance, thinking more about the things you have been acknowledged for. 5. It is a long process to go from self-denial to self-acceptance When you enter university, your heart will face various fears, especially when living in a dormitory, this kind of fear is even more difficult to escape. Faced with pressure, some people will please their roommates, and some will quarrel with their roommates because they feel invaded. Social anxiety is not an article that can bring about change with just one or two sentences of warmth, but it can add fuel to the fire of your heart so that it has more energy. I don't know what your high school was like, but if you do suffer from social anxiety, then the barriers to social interaction may accompany you for a long time, and you may face anxiety, self-blame, self-denial, and mental collapse many times. Let's give ourselves a preventive injection. Every self-denial is a process of rebuilding. Suggestions are as follows: 1. As I mentioned before, help your classmates more, especially those who have a kind heart. This requires you to discover and build good relationships with them, so that when you are feeling down, there are people around you who support you. 2. Join some clubs or activities, like volunteering associations, chess clubs. I was good at playing chess, so I joined the chess club. In the chess club, everyone just watches chess, not their characters. We study chess together without much talking. By the time of the second and third year of university, I even gained a group of fans. 3. Don't isolate yourself too much from your roommates. You can participate in some hobbies that many people are involved in, such as playing ball, playing the guitar, playing games. This will make it easier for you to integrate into the group and solve the problem of not having common topics. 4. You can seek support from the university's counseling center. Many things cannot be helped with just one or two psychological terms. Just like the first floor said, desensitization therapy works best with the support of a counselor. 5. In your mind, there are only scenes of you being rejected, embarrassed, right? Have you ever thought about the scenes of you being praised and acknowledged? People who lack confidence tend to focus on their shortcomings. Every week, try reminding yourself of three to five of your strengths, places where you have been acknowledged. People not only need recognition from others, but also need self-recognition. I'm not sure what you meant when you said, \"Am I demanding too much?\" I don't quite understand. Is your requirement about a conversation topic? Now that you've stepped into university, besides wishing you success in your studies, it wouldn't hurt to have a sweet romance. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear poster, by now you should have been in school for two weeks. I hope you are adjusting well. I understand your anxious feelings when entering a new environment, it's normal to feel a bit lost. I wonder if you've noticed a subconscious thought: \"I must be able to chat pleasantly with others at all times, otherwise I am terrible.\" \"I must handle any situation with ease, otherwise I am terrible.\" These are irrational thoughts characterized by absolutism or catastrophizing. If you analyze rationally, even social butterflies offend people sometimes, and even presidents have embarrassing moments. Think about it, does the world collapse when these embarrassing situations happen? When you offend someone, you can apologize. Those embarrassing moments are quickly forgotten, and there's always a Plan B. Confidence is not always present, but it is believing in yourself even when it's absent. From your description, I see another side of yourself that you might not have noticed. You are brave, recognizing your social difficulties, and taking the initiative to open up by asking questions and initiating conversations with others. You are actually a good conversationalist, as seen when you had a pleasant chat with another salesperson. You have a kindness in making friends, even before starting college, you actively seek new friends online. You need to see your own potential. You can keep a journal to record your successes every day, to see your excellent and positive side, and build confidence. The three incidents that are ingrained in your mind from your hometown are trivial setbacks in your social growth, and they are all understandable and normal. Many people have experienced them. 1. When doing promotions in a new place, it's impossible to get along with everyone. It's okay if you don't, you can find other people to make friends with. 2. Not knowing that Alipay payment is not accepted on public buses in your hometown, I have also experienced the embarrassment of not being able to pay on the bus. For others, it doesn't matter. Just know for next time. 3. The first time chatting online, it's natural that there might not be much to talk about since you're not in the same campus. It's better to chat with people from the same campus. These small setbacks are valuable experiences, and awkward situations are part of the growth process that can help you better cope next time. Have you noticed that in your description, it starts with \"I thought\", \"I believed I could handle it\", \"I thought we could have a good chat\"? You have only preconceived one outcome, that you will succeed, without considering a Plan B. In reality, even with all the preparation, failure is still possible. A more reasonable mindset is \"I hope to succeed, but if not, it's okay, I have a Plan B.\" Social anxiety has two aspects: social skills and fear itself. Social skills can actually be learned quite well, there are many books and resources available online. You can learn and imitate someone you admire around you. However, mastering the skills doesn't guarantee that all social interactions will be pleasant, this is where the second aspect comes in, overcoming fear. What are you afraid of? Afraid of being rejected, being denied, afraid of failure. But I want to tell you, in order to improve social skills/emotional intelligence/have quality relationships, you must experience rejection, denial, and failure. It's a choice that will always be in your hands, you can choose to step out of fear at any time, as long as you are willing to bear the risk of being rejected/denied/failing. I hope you can accept yourself better and have a joyful time in college. Love, C.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can bring you some warmth. 1. The reason why you are constantly unsure and lack a sense of security is closely related to your personality. The more anxious you are to break free from the dilemma of interpersonal relationships, the more anxious you will become. (1) From your description, it can be seen that you have had this interpersonal awkwardness from an early age, and you should have been particularly sensitive to the interaction with others. Your social anxiety may not be achieved overnight, but it may be related to the parenting style of your original family or the disciplinary style of teachers during your adolescence. Most likely, you have always been very inferior, living under the pressure of \"negation\" from your parents or teachers. Over time, you will be afraid of making mistakes, afraid of not being good enough, because your parents or teachers always managed you in a way that was discouraging, and you may have rarely received encouragement and praise. In this way, you will inevitably form a sensitive personality, you will not feel the need to express your true thoughts, you will always feel that you are not good enough, so you have to work harder than others, and in this process, anxiety and self-doubt will arise. You will become observant of other people's words and actions, you will cautiously observe how others perceive you... Over time, your psychological pressure will become stronger and stronger. Dear friend, everyone has their limits, and this kind of psychological feeling is difficult for you to perceive, so in the years to come, you will always be cautious. (2) From your emotional fluctuations, I can clearly feel that you are a person who lacks a sense of security. You always yearn to be accepted and liked by the outside world. I understand you very well because I used to have severe social anxiety too. Like you, I was very sensitive to how others perceived me, and a contemptuous look could easily take away my joy. I used to worry about my roommates not considering me a friend when I was about to go to college. I also worried about what would happen to me if I didn't understand how to interact with people after entering college. These confusions kept me awake all night the day before I went to school. Later, I slowly broke free from this psychological dilemma of people's minds, and I came to understand that the harder I tried to please my roommates, the more I cared about others' opinions of me, the more I went against my original intentions. You may need to accept the fact that no matter how hard you try to fit in with others, you will still perform unsatisfactorily. 2. Your unhappiness and restlessness actually stem from a lack of a firm sense of self. Even a slight disturbance or occasionally not being able to connect with others can make you feel \"embarrassed\" or even \"ashamed.\" (1) To establish a good mental state, you need to understand the factors that make up your \"self.\" Only when you understand yourself will you be able to avoid constant disappointments. Instead of putting so much focus and weight on other people's feedback and attitudes towards you, it is better to let go of your mental burden and think about how to live your life. You are an independent and unique individual, and if you always think about how to win the favor of others, you will never be able to find true happiness. Try to be at peace with yourself, explore yourself, learn to get along with yourself, and let yourself be your longest companion. (2) In this world, there are many different kinds of people besides you. It is impossible for you to satisfy everyone. Under the highly tense state of mind, you may make mistakes, so it is difficult to control this variable. The key is to learn to not be influenced by emotions. You deserve a happier life. To be happy, you need to worry less. To relieve anxiety, you need to learn how to be calm. You should not live in the eyes of others, it is difficult to make everyone love you and make everything go smoothly. In this world, the person you most need to please is yourself. Only when you find your true life ideal and stop worrying about trivial matters, can you really contribute to your own life. Don't always try to please others. Start by getting to know yourself and what you want and don't want. Walk your own path and let others say what they want. Just avoid hurting others. 3. Social anxiety disorder, starting college tomorrow, very anxious, what should I do? I propose the following suggestions: Suggestion 1: The best way to face social anxiety is not to please others or seek their approval, but to find your own position, and this process requires you to calm your mind. You have put too much energy into pleasing others, and your cognitive resources are limited. You need to learn to prioritize yourself. The first step you need to take is to give yourself some time to think, carefully plan your college life, and find your development goals. Only then can you move forward with determination. I suggest that you not rush to \"make friends.\" Before that, learn how to establish your self-identity and how to achieve self-worth. In the early stage of your college life, learn how to resist temptations and determine your life goals. Only when you are determined, can you avoid wasting your self. When you have your goals, you can write down your progress plan in your room, preferably in a notebook, and break down the effort you need to put in for your future goals. Whether it's months, days, or even years, as long as you have a firm belief in yourself, you can gradually overcome the barrier of social anxiety. Suggestion 2: Social anxiety is likely to stem from your inferiority and self-deprecation. I suggest you try not to give yourself too many negative suggestions and actively find your own social circle. The reason why you feel anxious about past experiences might be because the social connections you chose did not fit well with you. You should know that everyone goes through this process, initially meeting unsuitable people and being in uncomfortable circles. After feeling uncomfortable and even hurt in your inner self, you did not stop in time, and instead continued to exploit your true emotions, resulting in the engulfment of this social anxiety. Therefore, your approach should not be about compromising. Instead, expand your friendship circle and actively seek like-minded friends, that's where you need to invest your energy. If you are interested in anime and manga, you can actively go out and find a social environment that suits you. As the saying goes, it is hard to find true friends. By finding a suitable circle, you can release the knots in your heart and reduce your worries. Suggestion 3: Social anxiety can be big or small, it mainly depends on how you face it. You don't have to live in the eyes of others, imitating their actions and words to be cautious about it. If social anxiety is as terrible as you describe, then it is difficult for you to overcome it on your own. I suggest seeking professional help. Social anxiety can cause great harm to a person's mental state. If you continue like this for a long time, overcoming the obstacles of social anxiety will be even more painful when it comes to your work and relationships. Therefore, seeking professional help, instead of shouldering it alone, is the right path to take. This kind of suffering can be relieved through psychological counseling. Take some time to learn how to regulate your emotions. After all, life is long and short, and you should make yourself happy so that you can live without regrets. Since your social anxiety has likely been going on for a long time, I still believe that you should try seeking help from a professional therapist. Through the guidance of a therapist, you can gradually become emotionally stable and also help you find yourself. 4. Humans have a natural social attribute, and when we don't know how to face the opinions of others, social anxiety will arise and even disturb our self-judgment, making us feel lost. Therefore, to change the pain of social anxiety, we must change our perception of interpersonal communication, not to be attached to others' criticism and pursuit of perfection. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and treat yourself well. Only then can we break free from the small conflicts in interpersonal relationships and strive to become a person with self-charm, so that our strengths, beauty, and kindness can be shown to the world. Thank you for reading, feel free to follow the author: Panda Mr. Liu.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ I feel that you are not very successful in your interactions with others, but don't easily label yourself with \"social anxiety disorder.\" Have you noticed this phenomenon: you feel that you are not good at socializing, so when you interact with salespeople, you pay abnormal attention to their interactions with others. If you find that their communication with others is smooth, you suspect that there is something wrong with yourself. You have been trying to prove your initial hypothesis - that I have social anxiety. But have you ever thought that this is not your fault? Perhaps they are of a similar age, or perhaps they have some common hobbies... In the past, when I interacted with others, I often encountered many problems, and even felt like a conversation killer. Later, I realized that socializing with people is actually a skill that can be gradually improved through practice. Here are some suggestions for you: * Lower your expectations. At the beginning of interpersonal communication, there are rarely smooth sailing experiences. Don't set very high expectations for yourself, such as having to chat for a long time or have deep conversations. This can help avoid undermining your confidence when the communication is not going well. * Find some expressions. Exercise more often, gradually accumulate experience, how do you start a topic? How do you better convey your thoughts? How do you answer someone's questions? When you have enough experience, you will find that your interactions with others have become smooth without even realizing it. Take it slow, practice more, and good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Height varies, courage comes in different sizes. Moreover, fear is just a basic emotion, just like joy and sorrow. In other words, God is fair and gives us the seven emotions: joy, anger, sorrow, happiness, fear, and surprise. However, we usually prefer joy and happiness and dislike sorrow and fear. But the essence of life is just the opposite. As the ancients said, eight or nine out of ten things in life don't go as planned. There is a book called \"Happiness is a Trap\", and there is a saying in it that few people take to heart: happiness is a fallacy, yet some people spend their whole life proving it wrong. Accept yourself, accept your truth, even if you are sensitive and fearful, okay? Besides, it's not your fault. Everyone has their own difficulties, everyone carries a long lifeline behind them, and what is happening now is very likely connected to what happened in the past, affecting us in the real world. In other words, the past is always embedded in the present, and external events can trigger past experiences and feelings of fear and timidity. Accept his arrival, perhaps in this special way, he is telling us about his existence, he has been waiting for us to see him. Okay, try to raise your palm and gently place it on your chest, feel the heartbeat, and try to tell it, \"I'm sorry, I haven't taken care of you for so many years, thank you for using this special way to let me know about your existence.\" Time can't heal everything, only through learning and growth can we awaken the primordial power of life. Hello, I am hypnotist Yan Ling. If you need it, we can join hands and go back to the past of life, trying to heal the scars of the past self.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Being able to have a pleasant heart-to-heart conversation with others, express oneself freely, convey emotions through facial expressions, and present oneself is indeed a joyful and wonderful experience. Due to differences in personality and social skills, the social experiences gained are also different. For social butterflies, they are like fish in water and can handle social situations with ease. For those who experience social anxiety, entering social situations means stepping out of their comfort zone, challenging their limits, and enduring mental torture. Making slight progress often starts with dissatisfaction with the current situation. From the overall description, we can see that you are willing to change yourself and improve your social skills. This is a positive attitude worthy of recognition and praise. \u25c7 Step 1: Deep down in your heart, accept yourself and acknowledge that you are someone who has social limitations. This is very important. We can only recognize our own problems, face them without evasion or retreat, and see the true nature of the problems. \u2299 Step 2: Befriend social butterflies around you and accumulate your social energy. Environment still has an influence on us. Express to the social butterflies around you that you are willing to improve your social skills and that you hope to receive their help. This is a process of learning and challenge, but sincere friendships will provide you with the motivation to move forward. \u25ce Step 3: Objectively face other people's evaluations. Just like the transformation from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan, such changes require effort from us. For you, during the initial stages, you may receive judgment, ridicule, or even criticism from others. However, this is the time to test your willpower. You need to persist, maintain patience, adjust your mindset, and face other people's evaluations rationally. Turn pressure into motivation. \u25cb Step 4: Gradually progress and have a reasonable psychological expectation for yourself. Starting from scratch, identify your social weaknesses, make plans, avoid exceeding your actual abilities, and prevent yourself from feeling defeated, which can lead to a loss of confidence. \u2299 Step 5: Allow yourself to make mistakes and actively reflect on them. Objectively speaking, every individual has an ideal self and a realistic self in mind. If we cannot achieve a balance between the two, it can lead to cognitive biases. What we are like and what we should be like are not the same concept. Some people are naturally quiet, introverted, enjoy solitude, and dislike crowdedness. For these types of people, improving social skills and becoming social butterflies could be a mental torture. However, the motivation for change lies in our willingness to challenge our weaknesses, step out of our comfort zones, start the transformation of our lives, and meet a better version of ourselves. Let's encourage each other side by side.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 9794 + }, + { + "question": "Feelings of loneliness and despair, feeling that life is too tiring, lacking hope and a future.", + "description": "When I was a child, my father passed away due to illness, which led to me being excluded by my classmates and left a psychological shadow on me towards school and others. Half a month before the middle school entrance examination, my mother, who had been taking care of me, also suddenly fell ill and passed away. At that moment, my heart felt empty. In high school, I lost interest in studying, and the loneliness of being misunderstood continued to deepen. Every night, I am tormented between the memories of the past and the desolation of the present. After that, my beloved grandparents also passed away one after another, leaving me alone in this world. I am a relatively independent and even introverted person, with no friends to confide in. The feelings of loneliness and despair are closing in on me, and I am reaching my limit. If I were to commit suicide, my mother would surely be heartbroken... But living is indeed too painful. I am the proof that they once existed... I have learned kindness, warmth, and love from them. I have tried my best to be a good child, a good student, but I couldn't save their lives... I have lost almost everything... Life seems to be not very important to me anymore. I, who have lost the meaning of living, am just a walking corpse... It doesn't really matter if I die...", + "keywords": "Behavior, emptiness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After reading your description, my heart feels like it's being whipped, twisted with pain. Tears couldn't help but flow down. I can't imagine the hardships, the suffering, and the sadness you have endured over these years. The early death of your father must have meant a lot of hidden hardships for you and your mother. Did the contemplation of life and living start then? And just before the final exams, your beloved and kind mother was taken away by a sudden illness. I can't imagine how cruel and painful this must be for you, to toss and turn every night between beautiful memories and the agony of loneliness. You lost your mother! She once gave you kindness, warmth, and love. And then you lost your grandparents, who also gave you kindness, warmth, and love. You said you felt like you were the only one left in the world. You said you had almost lost everything. You feel extremely lonely and desperate. You asked yourself, should I still live? What is the meaning of my existence? If my mother's spirit exists in the heavens, and you tell her about your longing and pain, what would she say to you? What kind of life would she want for you? If your grandparents knew about your despair, if they knew you were trapped in pain, what would they say to you? How should you live so that they can rest assured? How do you blame yourself for not being able to save their lives? If they knew about your self-blame, how would they react? Would your self-blame make them sad and in pain? You said you received kindness, warmth, and love from them, and that touches me deeply. I'm thinking, although your mother's life may have passed away, she planted the seeds of goodness in you, allowing you to become a person who tries to warm oneself with love despite going through hardships. Your mother and grandparents must be silently blessing you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16786 + }, + { + "question": "Can you understand me? Can you make my life a little happier?", + "description": "Once I think back to the days when I spent several days binge-watching TV shows and regret it, because I could have used that time to study more. I find myself easily regretting things, like the arguments I had with my parents when I was a child. It used to make me cry at night, but now I realize it was completely unnecessary. No matter what was said back then, as I grew up, I moved on and it was just empty words. Deep down, I still love them, even though they caused me some psychological issues at one point. It feels like healing from my childhood will take a lifetime... It makes me feel unjust, that children always have to forget the harm done by their parents. I regret spending so much time back then hoping that they would understand my thoughts. Maybe I expected too much from everything.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationship, and the process of growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me. I noticed that your description is a bit confusing and contradictory, and your mood seems to be a bit low. Here's a warm hug for you. Let's go over your description: It mainly revolves around feelings of \"regret\". You regret spending a lot of time watching TV shows instead of studying; you regret arguing with your parents when you were young; and you regret spending a lot of time expecting to be understood. Let's analyze and solve these problems, hoping to help you. Of course, if there's anything else you want to add, please let me know. About the issue of time management, I don't know your age or occupation, but since you mentioned doing tests, let's assume you are a student. I also experience similar emotions as a student, and even now. Watching shows and playing games can make us stay up late and sleep less, because our interests and motivation attract us, and our spirits are excited to pursue things that make us happy. There's nothing wrong with that. But as students, we still need to know what we should do. You can make a daily task list, prioritize your tasks and arrange them into must-do, can be postponed, and can be omitted categories. Then, focus on doing them as soon as possible. I believe you will be able to complete them quickly. Once the tasks are completed, the remaining time can be fully used for entertainment. This way, you will be efficient, and you will no longer feel regret. As for your relationship with your parents and family life, I believe we have all taken detours in figuring out how to get along with our parents and have expectations for them. This is very normal. We hope to be cared for and nurtured, and we hope our parents can understand our thoughts and decisions and provide help when necessary. They have also been learning how to be better parents, but it can be difficult for them to change and adapt to our generation, as they tend to follow the approach their parents had with them. This is something we must understand. You mentioned that they have once caused you psychological problems, and you feel like you have to heal from your childhood forever, which makes you feel unjust. You also mentioned that children should always forget the harm caused by their parents. I don't know what you went through in your childhood, so I can't provide specific help, but I can imagine that you must be feeling lonely and sad. So, here's another warm hug for you. Sometimes, the pain we feel is created by our own perceptions. If we change our perspective, we may discover a different world. I recommend reading the book \"The Courage to Be Disliked\". I believe you will discover another version of yourself. Don't worry, don't be afraid. The world and I love you. May everything be well!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13524 + }, + { + "question": "Hairdressing assistant, feeling particularly down. Should I continue doing this job?", + "description": "I am an assistant in a hair salon, and I have been working in the previous salon for over a year, but my skills are not particularly good. I found another salon and have been working here for two months. At first, I thought it was okay, but gradually I started feeling very oppressed. Because my skills are not good, I don't feel like I belong. Sometimes I can only watch and not be able to help much, only able to wash hair. I feel like I'm unnecessary. I also feel very suppressed, but when I feel particularly oppressed and want to leave, the people around me, including our boss, will say encouraging words and speak some truths. Then I feel okay and move on, but I still feel uncomfortable. I haven't been able to open up myself in this salon, and I feel very oppressed. So, I want to know whether I should leave or not.", + "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure, work fatigue.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "People can move, trees can die. Whether you should consider exerting effort to break through yourself and continue working at this store, or finding another place to work. What I care more about is your \"special depression\". Your subconscious mind may have a lot of things, maybe it's the influence from your family or childhood. I suggest you further explore yourself and live as your true self. If you don't deal with the root consciousness of yourself well, you may still be unhappy even if you go to many places. Each of our lives has infinite possibilities, you don't necessarily have to be a hairdressing assistant. You can consider working in some psychological course institutions in sales, and have more contact with psychology.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 74, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 74, + "end": 161, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, friend. If you want to explore your inner self and analyze yourself, here are some suggestions you can consider. Firstly, different professions require different skills, basic qualities, and job requirements. They can be classified into technical, sales, and management types. Secondly, analyze your personality and career orientation. For example, if you are outgoing and good at chatting with others, understand customer needs, you can consider a sales position. As a hairdressing assistant, you can develop in the technical or sales field. It depends on what you are good at and what you want to do. If it is due to technical reasons, each skill requires dedicated learning and understanding, and it takes time to accumulate experience. If you can find a good leader, it will certainly accelerate your growth. I also understand how you feel. Additionally, industry selection is crucial. I have a client who dislikes the catering industry very much. He said that while others enjoy themselves, he is the busiest. Standing for a long time is physically unbearable. After he changed his job, his depression improved. I don't know what you think, or if the industry is suitable for you? Lastly, I hope to have the opportunity to help you analyze. If it is helpful to you, that would be great! Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4527 + }, + { + "question": "Is it correct for the teachers and parents to oppose my decision to study at home during my senior year?", + "description": "Senior three self-study at home, am I doing the right thing? I don't want to go back to school, I'm so conflicted.", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I see your confusion and understand that you are in a dilemma. It must be uncomfortable for you that your ideas are not supported by your parents and teachers. Before answering the question of whether it is right to study at home, we need to explore it from various aspects. There are advantages to studying at home, such as having free time and not being disturbed by others. You can arrange your study schedule based on your own learning level. However, the drawback is that although there is no disturbance, there is also no reminder. It's not easy to control your time and other behaviors that may affect your study. You need to have a high level of self-discipline to do well. There are also advantages and disadvantages to studying at school. The advantage is that teachers, based on their years of teaching experience, scientifically plan the entire schedule for the third year of high school, design teaching content according to the college entrance examination outline, and strengthen and consolidate difficult and important points. They also provide students with exam advice and tips. Students can always find teachers to answer any learning-related questions, and classmates can help each other at any time, which are benefits that students studying at home do not have. Of course, there are also some unsatisfactory aspects at school. For example, if the class is too large, it may have a slight impact, and the stress among classmates may also affect each other. The school meals may not be as good as those at home, and it may not be as comfortable as being at home. After analyzing the pros and cons of studying at home and at school, combined with your own situation, think about which place and method of learning are most suitable for you. I believe that with your wisdom, you will be able to make the right choice that suits you best. Sincerely wishing you a smooth study journey, getting into the university of your dreams, and achieving your goals.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4370 + }, + { + "question": "The conversation can be described as \"playing the piano to a cow.\" Is youth an advantage or a disadvantage?", + "description": "Ninety percent or more of the members in a family are immature, which may lead to the offspring of certain individuals becoming more mature than their parents. \"Mom, I'm sick.\" \"If you're sick, go see a doctor.\" \"Dad, Auntie is just staying overnight, why does she say this house isn't mine?\" \"She's my sister, don't say lending it to her, giving it to her is also fine.\" Dialogues like this, where the response is unrelated to the question, could take days or nights to write, and the conversations between people of different ages can also be described as \"beating around the bush\". After the conversation ends, if I am still very confused and ask him further questions, he will be even more confused than me, saying \"You can't live in the past.\" Implicitly meaning that the past events and conversations are \"things of the past not worth mentioning,\" this is only his own perspective, thinking that everyone thinks the same as him. As for why I say the proportion of people in the crowd is ninety percent, it is related to my childhood experience. After my parents divorced when I was 2 years old, I stayed at other family members' homes, including going back to my parents' respective homes. I have witnessed their varying degrees of immaturity. Basically, I have stayed at the homes of all the aunts and uncles, the only difference being the length of stay. Some were a few years, others were just a few months.", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, growth process.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Immature parents, especially single parents, are prone to raising a particularly well-behaved child. This child may appear very responsible, but they do not truly desire to be so. Being responsible means having to take on more responsibilities. As depicted in the book \"Aimer,\" naturally growing children excel in various aspects even compared to their peers. Therefore, the immaturity of parents, whether they care or not, easily cultivates a mentally mature child. Then what causes these parents, these individuals in these families, to be less mature? I think it is because their own parents excessively suppress their self-conscious development. They prevent their mental growth, meaning their parents may tend to suppress their opportunities for self-expression, and they do not engage in social communication enough. In the long run, they develop into immature individuals. Furthermore, after some time, they remain the same. The formation of one's personality is critical during the ages of 0 to 3, and the stability of one's personality increases as one becomes an adult. The above is the discussion we had, I wonder if it answers the question you wanted to know.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14838 + }, + { + "question": "19-year-old student, after three years of treatment, has recovered from depression. How should they deal with this past?", + "description": "When I was immersed in it, I only wanted to get better, but after that, I didn't know how to deal with this experience and such a youth. How should we all deal with past pain and setbacks? What should we do if we always feel regretful and sad?", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, student growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Being able to cure depression is something worth celebrating. Depression may appear in our lives without warning, and its prevalence is already high worldwide. The experience may have been a dark period for you, but it also helped you discover bright stars in the darkness. You can clearly identify where your strength lies and overcoming depression to achieve emotional stability is a brave experience. You can consider the past as part of your growth and, when ready, discuss this experience with trusted friends. It's regrettable and sad to recall the pain and setbacks of the past, but these emotions can also serve as a compass in our lives. What happened in the past has already occurred, and you were able to find the courage within yourself through those experiences. From sadness and setbacks, you became more aware of your own unique journey, which can provide guidance for future events. Fully accepting your past and rising above the sadness is essential. The terrifying things that happened in the past may have subsided, and depression has been overcome. Now, you are safe. The pain and restlessness you feel is a result of the past. Life isn't just about happiness or sadness; it has many colors and flavors. Being able to experience sadness is also a wealth for us. The pain has added depth to our youth. Therefore, some people find solace in their negative emotions. This description seems to relate to your own sadness. It appears that you want to control those emotions but are unsure how to quiet them, which is causing you distress. It's okay; your negative emotions are also a part of you. We can experience and handle negative emotions in a healthy way, which is an important component of personal growth. A good coping technique is being open and accepting. The past experiences may not be the same as others', but it's your life, and those events have already occurred. Accepting and digesting this process may involve multiple steps. You will understand that many aspects of your past are sources of your own energy. Life after experiencing depression will have more empathy and rationality. Sometimes, we may do everything possible to reduce and avoid pain, both emotionally and physically. Therefore, it's difficult to accept our emotions, which is worth contemplating. In fact, struggling with pain leads to more emotional suffering. We can sit down and observe our own emotions. The past experiences may make us uncomfortable, but I am fine. I can tolerate this. This is also an opportunity to exercise a comprehensive dialectical perspective and see the world.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 135, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 135, + "end": 182, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 182, + "end": 201, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 201, + "end": 220, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 220, + "end": 239, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 239, + "end": 245, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 245, + "end": 346, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 346, + "end": 361, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 361, + "end": 511, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 511, + "end": 611, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 611, + "end": 647, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 647, + "end": 765, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 765, + "end": 848, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 848, + "end": 916, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, in this situation, we may on one hand hope to gain the understanding of others, but on the other hand, we also worry that others will mock us when they know about our past. In such a state of mind, we start to feel conflicted about our past experiences and youth. We regret having had such experiences and feel sorry for the part of ourselves that went through them. So how can we overcome this past pain and frustration? Accept it, be honest about it. If we ourselves don't know how to deal with these experiences and our youth, it's likely because we are not willing to accept them. If we don't want to admit something ourselves, we won't talk about it, and we've put a lock on ourselves. The lock we put on ourselves can only be unlocked by ourselves. However, accepting oneself is still difficult. Based on the fact that you have experienced depression, it can be inferred that you often suppress your feelings, sacrifice your own needs, and care more about others' evaluations and thoughts. It is already quite difficult to see yourself beyond others, and it is even more difficult to let go of others to fulfill yourself. Does this mean we should ignore difficulties? No, not at all. It is often said that people can love others only if they love themselves. And to love oneself, one must accept oneself. Accept the good and bad sides of ourselves. It's actually not easy, but let's give it a try.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 9639 + }, + { + "question": "Should college students talk about dating? Do you support long-distance relationships?", + "description": "Should students date in college? Is long-distance relationships supported? The two individuals are attending different universities in different cities.", + "keywords": "Love, love management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "This question first sparked my interest in the person asking the question: is the person asking the question a college student? Or is it a parent of a college student? I don't know why, but this question makes me feel a bit out of touch with the \"present.\" It seems like it should be a question that people were discussing in the last century. The person asking the question seems to have an answer in mind, but it seems like they need external permission or feel that their own thinking may not be thorough enough, so they want to borrow someone else's thinking to \"help\" themselves think more thoroughly. Life is one's own, and others may be able to help you with \"everything,\" but ultimately the results still fall on you and you have to bear them. So it's still best to grow up and become independent as soon as possible, and take charge of your own life! Eating bread chewed by others may save effort, but it is tasteless.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 88, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 88, + "end": 156, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 156, + "end": 197, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 197, + "end": 219, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 219, + "end": 239, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "1. My viewpoint: Love is like driving or cooking, it requires practice and cannot be talked about on paper. If you don't talk to real people about love, how would you know who is not suitable and who can live together? From the perspective of lifelong development, people should do appropriate things at the right age. You shouldn't avoid love because of your studies. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many incapable singles (not all singles are incapable, though). And for some people, being in a relationship can even promote learning and mutual growth! 2. In the process of love, it is important to have a sense of security and follow certain communication rules. 3. Healthy love should have passion, intimacy, and responsibility. Hope this can help you! Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11234 + }, + { + "question": "My classmate is angry and ignoring me, but I don't know what I did wrong. What should I do?", + "description": "They are angry, but I don't know why they are angry. I belong to the type that lacks a sense of security, and I am especially afraid of not having friends, so they vent their frustrations on me, and I have always endured it, even when I feel very wronged... Sometimes I feel like the whole world doesn't like me, and I am very afraid of encountering them because I'm afraid that my actions will make them angry and ignore me. Every time this happens, I can't sleep well and I feel helpless in everything I do. Am I sick? What should I do?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, conflicts, roommates, classmates.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hi OP, it seems like you are quite sensitive. Sending you a hug~ (I'm not sure if there's an underlying reason for how others are treating you, so I can only analyze based on your situation.) In this relationship, your way of interacting with others can be changed by \"empowering yourself.\" If you are cautious and always making concessions, others may not cherish or have the patience for you. However, if you are cheerful and natural, others will also open up to you and embrace you because of your sincerity. In modern society, where the pace of life is fast, it may be difficult for people to spend time understanding your inner world, especially when you are working and have limited socializing time. However, your behavior will impact whether they are willing to interact with you. When your world is filled with sunshine and love, you will inspire others and they will be moved by your enthusiasm, willing to gather around you. On the other hand, if your world is filled with depressing music and pouring rain, who would want to be soaked in it? You need to first nourish love within yourself and stop overthinking. Wishing you well~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13037 + }, + { + "question": "Every time I go on a blind date, there is not a single guy who can meet me for more than three times.", + "description": "After each blind date, there hasn't been a single guy who wants to meet me more than three times. At first, they are enthusiastic and take the initiative to ask me out, but after chatting for over a month, they stop contacting me. This is not the first time this has happened, and I want to know what problem I have.", + "keywords": "Love, love management.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Every time you go on a blind date, the other person initially shows enthusiasm and actively asks you to meet, but after no more than three times, they cool off. You are particularly eager for a relationship and want to get married, but the blind date process has repeatedly been frustrating, and you don't know the reasons behind it. You feel anxious and confused. Is that right? Even after multiple blind date experiences, if you still don't know the reasons or part of the reasons, it is likely due to a lack of perception on your part. You are unable to find common reasons in these similar experiences, which could be related to yourself or the other party. The lack of perception may be one of the reasons why your blind dates are not successful. For example, during the blind date process, your words may have unintentionally offended the other person, but you did not realize it. Additionally, it is possible that in the meeting process, you put too much emphasis on emotional value or are too eager for the other person's commitment, which may make potential partners afraid to step back. Based solely on your description, it is difficult to determine the true reasons. You need to carefully analyze and reflect on all your experiences. You can also speak to one or two previous blind date partners who are open and ask them about the real reasons behind the outcomes. Not every blind date will lead to something more, but if multiple blind dates result in similar experiences, there must be common reasons. This requires you to observe and reflect on them.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 77, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 77, + "end": 206, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 206, + "end": 267, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 267, + "end": 289, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 289, + "end": 319, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 319, + "end": 357, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 357, + "end": 368, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 8965 + }, + { + "question": "Why have I been experiencing insomnia for three consecutive nights? Is my bipolar disorder acting up again?", + "description": "I used to have good sleep, I could fall asleep as soon as I touched the bed. However, for the past 3 days, I have been experiencing insomnia and have only been able to sleep around 4am each day. I was previously diagnosed with bipolar disorder by a doctor, but I have not gone for a follow-up appointment in the past year. I have been taking 5mg of Aripiprazole for the past year, but I personally feel that I don't have any depressive thoughts. It's just that for the past 3 days, I have been having difficulty falling asleep and feeling restless. I'm afraid that my bipolar disorder has relapsed. However, I really feel like apart from the difficulty sleeping, I don't have any symptoms of being a bipolar patient. I don't have depression, at most I feel a little manic from the lack of sleep. I want to know what is really happening to me?", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, mental disorders.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After reading the original poster's confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. Bipolar disorder is the result of a combined episode of mania and depression. Taking care of an illness is like taking care of a tiger, as a big tiger will surely harm people. I think in the beginning, your condition might not have been so severe, perhaps just a mild manic episode, but then you took medication every day and turned yourself into a manic state. 2. Medication can indeed alleviate your pain. However, all your pain is the result of various triggering events. In other words, the knot in your heart is the root cause of your suffering. If the root cause is not resolved, the pain will still be deeply buried in your heart. 3. Do not be afraid of falling ill, do not be afraid of insomnia. The more you fear the emergence of problems, the more likely they are to occur. Fear is an invitation, and then problems come as invited guests. It's as simple as that. Thank you for your question, may the beauty of the world come to you as scheduled.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner; do you feel worried and anxious because of three consecutive nights of insomnia, thinking that your bipolar disorder has recurred? I don't know how old you are. What has happened recently that led to your insomnia? Generally speaking, mania is a continuous mood disorder characterized by elevated mood, quick thinking, irritability, and excitability. It is sometimes diagnosed as a tendency towards mental illness. In your case, it seems that insomnia is more due to anxiety, which in turn leads to you suspecting that you have bipolar disorder, causing a vicious cycle of increased anxiety. The first thing to do is perhaps to go to a reputable psychiatric department for a diagnosis to determine what exactly is going on with you. If bipolar disorder is ruled out, it may be generalized anxiety disorder and the doctor may prescribe medication for you. Of course, if conditions permit, you may consider professional psychological treatment. The main psychological techniques for treating anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder are cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis, and sandplay therapy, among others.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Your recent performance can be categorized as difficulty falling asleep. According to your description, it seems to be caused by sympathetic nervous system excitation, making it difficult for you to fall asleep. It's common for people to start overthinking when they can't fall asleep and associate everything together, which leads to more anxiety and difficulty falling asleep. You were previously diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but setting aside the accuracy of the diagnosis, at the very least, this experience has left a suggestion in your mind. Whenever you have negative emotions or states, this suggestion automatically appears and disrupts your mindset. Actually, as you analyzed, you don't have any actual feelings, it's just simple difficulty falling asleep, unrelated to your past experiences. Therefore, right now, you should try to relax, learn how to relax your whole body. You can search on Baidu for relaxation techniques. When you can't sleep, try practicing meditation. These are all effective methods. Also, think about whether you consumed any food or drink that could affect your sleep in the past few days, such as tea or other substances. Did you encounter any special events that affected your thoughts and keep unintentionally remembering them, thus affecting your sleep?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, you mentioned that your sleep was good before, but you have been experiencing insomnia in the past three days. Personally, I think it may be because you have been under a lot of stress or have something on your mind. Also, consider if your bedtime routine has changed. I have experienced something similar, waking up at 3 o'clock every night, and I even suspected that I was depressed. When I talked to my friends about it, they thought I was overreacting and couldn't understand me. I had no choice but to keep myself busy during the day, engaging in activities that would activate my body. By the time night came, I was tired and didn't have the energy to stay awake, and after about two weeks, the problem started to lessen. You can also try exercising, such as aerobic running, and you mentioned that you have been taking medication without follow-up examinations. This could be a factor contributing to your insomnia. I suggest you consult a professional doctor to inquire about the potential side effects of the medication and whether it needs to be adjusted or changed. Since it's only insomnia and you have clearly stated that you do not have mania, you should pay more attention to the fluctuations in your inner state while focusing on your life and work. There is no need to overly search for the cause, as sometimes issues can resolve themselves without us realizing it. What you need to do is adjust your mentality. Hope this can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear, hugs to you, it's really uncomfortable not being able to sleep well. Let's talk about aripiprazole. Have you ever paid attention to its instructions? One of its adverse reactions is anxiety and insomnia. Adverse reactions are defined as harmful reactions unrelated to the intended use of the medication that occur under normal usage and dosage. In other words, this is difficult to avoid. Now, let's talk about bipolar disorder. It has a high relapse rate and a complex and variable course, requiring long-term comprehensive treatment to control the condition. The period between two episodes in patients is called the interictal period, which may vary in length. During this period, symptoms may disappear and the patient's social functioning may return to relatively normal. However, when a relapse occurs, patients in a manic state often feel good and typically have no insight into their own illness. Due to the high recurrence rate of the disease, if left untreated, relapse is almost inevitable. We need to mentally prepare ourselves for a long-term battle against the illness, follow the doctor's advice, take medication as prescribed, adhere to follow-up appointments, and avoid stopping or changing medication without authorization. Therefore, on one hand, we need to consider the adverse reactions of long-term medication use causing insomnia, and on the other hand, we need to consider whether there are any signs of relapse. It is necessary for you to go to the hospital as soon as possible for a reevaluation and let the professional doctor switch your medication or adjust the treatment plan.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19393 + }, + { + "question": "Being introverted, how can one make close friends and develop interpersonal relationships?", + "description": "I am rather introverted and don't know how to make friends. I'm unsure of how I will survive in society in the future and build my network. Am I unworthy? How can I truly make friends who understand me and develop interpersonal relationships?", + "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I've been in a similar situation as you. I think it's not necessary to make friends just for the sake of making friends. Those friends may only be the ones you are trying to please, and you will end up feeling exhausted while constantly giving while they only take. You will both have your own dissatisfaction. If you want to make friends, it should be with people who share similar interests and hobbies with you. For example, if she doesn't like eating egg yolks but you do, you will have a good understanding and not waste food. Everyone will be happy both mentally and physically. Furthermore, when making friends, you should also consider whether your values align. For example, if you like eating street food and she likes Western food, it's not a difference in values. A difference in values refers to situations where you enjoy eating street food while she finds it dirty. In that case, you definitely cannot become good friends. The definition of a good friend is someone who provides support and a sense of security to each other. I hope you can find your own good friends. When developing relationships, it depends on what kind of social circle you want to build and your own capabilities. Focus on improving yourself and exploring the world, and you will naturally find your own community. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Interpersonal communication skills are very important, especially in society where average communication skills are highly valued, even crucial. It is possible to have good interpersonal communication skills with the right personality and inner mindset. It requires taking the first step, being proactive in engaging and communicating with others. There is a saying, \"Initiative creates stories.\" Of course, it is inevitable to face rejection or being ignored, but those are no longer important as you have already taken the first step. What comes next is having a thick skin and no fear of awkwardness. In interpersonal communication, it's important to be mindful of boundaries, not making others uncomfortable or unhappy, and of course, there is no need to compromise yourself either. This skill requires technique and continuous practice to hone. I can only provide a brief explanation here, but if you want to make a change, you can buy books on the art of conversation and see how others communicate. How to make close friends? I feel that I am not qualified to discuss this with you because I don't have close friends myself. It's not that I can't make friends, but I personally don't want to have a close friend. However, I can share some theoretical knowledge with you. In the field of social psychology, there is a concept called \"self-disclosure\" in promoting intimate relationships with partners, which I think can be applied to making friends\u2014being open about yourself. Just by looking at the literal meaning, you know what to do, share embarrassing stories and disclose small secrets. Because of the principle of reciprocity, if you tell a friend a secret, they will also share their secrets with you. Through continuous exchange, your relationship will become very intimate. I hope this can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20581 + }, + { + "question": "After getting married, the guy who used to like me says he can't forget me. What should I do?", + "description": "I got married last year. My husband is a high school classmate. We started dating after eight years of friendship and love. The reason I didn't break up with him despite our fights and extreme situations is because I gave myself to him for the first time. However, a few days ago, a guy who used to like me in middle school and confessed to me in high school said he can't forget about me. My current husband directly told him that I am his girlfriend, so the guy backed off. Over the years, we occasionally chat like friends, but a couple of days ago, he said he still can't forget about me. He doesn't mind about my first time. I am very rational, and I won't divorce my husband just because he said these things, even though sometimes I don't feel happy with my husband because he can be extreme and not appreciate me, always putting me down. However, I feel emotionally dependent on this guy. After he broke things off, he hoped I would get divorced, but I can't do it. He said some farewell words and deleted me. It's hard for me because we had twelve years of friendship. I always feel like I can shine in front of him because my husband can be extreme. But I can't just get divorced, I always feel like my husband will divorce me in the future. But that guy is already married, and we missed our chance. It's really hard not being in contact suddenly.", + "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner, I understand how you feel and I give you a hug. It is evident that you are a very rational person and have a realistic consideration of your current situation. After eight years of dating, you entered into marriage, although the initial intention may not have been so pure, but after all, you have been a couple for many years and you have developed various habits and understandings with each other, which cannot be compared to the guy who likes you. Just like the novels of Eileen Chang, there is a red rose and a white rose in everyone's life. Perhaps he is your red mark or that white moonlight, visible but not obtainable, but it may not necessarily be the best. I don't intend to discourage you, I just want to say, if he has always liked you, why didn't he actively pursue you? After being rejected, why did he express his feelings to you after you got married? In fact, that is not love or like, but just a kind of persistent obsession over the years. You rejected him again, and he understood that he cannot spend the rest of his life with you, so he deleted everything, didn't want to think about it, so he won't be hurt. The questioner mentioned that you may divorce your husband in the future, why think like that, dear? In the process of maintaining a relationship, there will inevitably be arguments and frictions, especially in such an intimate relationship like marriage. If there are conflicts and estrangement, they should be spoken out, communicated with each other, understood and tolerant of each other. He still can't let go of you, the person who likes you has always been unable to let go of you, what should you do? You might as well accept it calmly, because this is your charm, it's not that you only shine in front of him, but you have always been shining. Life is short, there are fleeting visitors, there may be casual brushstrokes, or vivid and colorful strokes, but they are just a stroke in the picture of your life. The most important thing is to see clearly the people who are drawing the entire picture with you. Wendo wishes that you and your partner can communicate and interact more, have fewer conflicts and estrangements, and share a harmonious and beautiful life.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "8 years of love time, just entered marriage last year, ended the long-distance love, entered the marriage hall, it is worth celebrating, a happy thing! The author's words are full of forced and helpless. First of all, your 12-year contact with opposite-sex friends, it is unclear how your husband sees this matter. Love is a matter between two people. From your description, it seems like a love triangle. In the establishment period of a relationship, in the relationship of love, and in the current marriage relationship, the author seems to have always been in a passive state. This may be related to the characteristics of the author's personality. And in this regard, your husband and opposite-sex friends seem to have their own opinions and independent thoughts. This may be what you rely on. You said that your husband always criticizes and blames you, and you have arguments and conflicts between you. Almost all compromises are made by you. You cherish the emotional connection with your husband, but you seem to lack a sense of security, always feeling like you are in a role that can only be abandoned, possibly by your husband. There is a gap between you and your husband, no happiness, only oppression and criticism. You are not satisfied but reluctant to let go of this feeling, and your previous reliance is gone, making you feel more empty and helpless. Friends may speak more tactfully. They provide emotional value, making you feel your own worth, that you are shining and worthy of love. Your value and self-affirmation are based on others' affirmation. Once this affirmation is gone, you will collapse. In front of your husband, because he is more realistic and genuine, you can say that you are insecure or in a weaker position. And this imbalance has never become the motivation for your progress, but instead, you try to find an outlet outside the relationship, and coincidentally there is such an almost existent opportunity. You may see more of other people's problems, and maybe there is some regret and anger. This keeps your relationship in a state of false intimacy. And the outlet you are looking for sets an invisible wall for your relationship. Your relationship has not developed as expected, or to a certain extent, it is a failure. Otherwise, you wouldn't predict that one day you might get divorced or that your husband may propose a divorce. Your current situation is like not being able to eat what's in the bowl and still being concerned about what's in the pot. And what's in the pot, you are not clear yourself. Do you know about the life situations of your friend in these 12 years? Not long ago, after he confessed to you and understood your thoughts, he respected your choice and started a new life. So you stopped contacting each other, but your restless heart started to stir. Just talking about this matter, once it's been said, once the window paper is pierced, it's time for him to make a decision. Otherwise, what do you hope for, for him to become involved in your lives? Or do you want to separate your spiritual and physical selves completely? You are both adults and cannot be coaxed and praised like children. Your husband may also have work to do, and many responsibilities to bear. Do you have a heart to understand him? Your mental independence is also an urgent matter. Try to find yourself, affirm your self-worth, be more confident in this relationship, let yourself shine. Let yourself be more open and less wrapped up. Try to communicate with your husband, have positive and effective communication instead of always arguing! Since it is a marriage relationship that is worthy of your affirmation and attachment, you must manage it well! Good love is important, but a well-managed relationship seems even more important. Perhaps the other party's personality is more straightforward and outspoken, while you are more introverted and sensitive, certain words touch your inner self. You adopt your own defense mechanism, habitually wrapping yourself up, refusing to communicate and get closer to each other. Over time, you'll feel more and more insecure, distant, and unhappy. Maybe more often, it's your own inner shackles that restrain you! Face your own shortcomings and accept the most authentic self. First and foremost, respect yourself and love yourself. Others will respect you and love you! Change may not be easy, but marriage life requires joint efforts from both parties! I hope that we will never refuse personal growth at any time, while respecting personal characteristics. For example, if you are an introverted person, do not demand yourself with extroverted standards, but also see your own good and strengths. I think, while understanding your husband, when you open up and express your needs, your husband will also understand you and realize their own extreme parts, the harm and influence of their words on you! Genuine efforts will always be met with genuine responses! Keep going! Give yourself more courage! The author is also a girl who knows how to cherish and value emotions. At the same time, his choice to marry you also proves that he loves you, right? Focus more on your own family, friends can still be there, but boundaries are important! Have confidence in yourself, in the other person, in the family. Don't be afraid of the hardships of adaptation! And don't give up personal growth!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, ask the title! Seeing your troubles, I would like to share my opinion with you. You said you and your husband have been in a long-distance relationship for eight years, and during this time, no matter what happens, you don't break up because you gave him your first time. Even though your husband likes to belittle you, and your former classmate who used to have feelings for you has always stayed in touch and wants you to divorce and be with him, but he is also married. First, let's analyze your feelings towards your husband. From your description, I think both you and your husband do not love each other very much. The reason you are together is because you gave him your \"first time.\" Why do you think the first time is so important? Do you see yourself as an object? Once someone has had your first time, they own you, and you can't be transferred or betrayed by your \"owner\"? I am not telling you to betray your husband, what I mean is that you are an independent person, you do not belong to anyone's possession, the first time is important, but it is not a moral standard to imprison you for a lifetime. Why do almost only women consider that they should keep their first time for their husbands? Is it because women tend to impose a \"moral standard\" on themselves? You are a modern woman now, you should no longer objectify yourself, who you are with should be because that person is worthy of you, not because you gave them the first time. Now let's talk about your classmate, he is already married, but he has been involved with you in an unclear way and even suggested that you divorce and be with him. Have you ever thought about how his wife would feel if she knew about this? And he is still being ambiguous with you even though he is already married because he hasn't gotten you yet. If you did get divorced and be with him, his first marriage would already be unfaithful, do you think he will be loyal to you for the rest of his life? You said your husband often belittles you, and your classmate makes you feel comfortable and radiant when you are with him, but you can't just divorce your husband easily, but you also think your husband will be amazing in the future. I want to say, asker, you have placed too much confidence, independence, and excellence in others. Our confidence, independence, and excellence are our own lessons, regardless of whether we are married or not, this is our own matter. Relying on others is not feasible. No one can be sure of being reliable forever, whether it's your husband or your classmate, they may abandon you. So, asker, you should focus more on yourself, put more attention on yourself. You can learn new things, make excellent friends, cultivate yourself, and become even more excellent. That way, you will be composed and calm no matter what happens in the future. Whether you choose to stay with your husband or divorce, it should be based on whether he is worthy or not, not because of this nonexistent \"first time.\" Live for yourself, make yourself beautiful, you are your own greatest wealth and source of strength. When you become confident and independent, you won't be so worried about these things, and you will understand that only you are the most precious. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. After reading your question, I hope I can help you. There is a saying that goes \"It is easy to fall in love, but difficult to stay together; cherish while you can.\" This sentence describes marriage perfectly. Love is sweet, but marriage means responsibility and the daily ups and downs of life. It is easy to notice each other's flaws and have grievances in marriage. But marriage requires effort. Based on your description, you and your husband do not have fundamental disagreements or serious problems. You need to learn how to get along, be tolerant, and communicate in marriage. In addition, you mentioned another man who said he likes you, but he is also \"already married\". From the perspective of two families, one should abide by the promises made to their spouse, as marriage is not child's play. In fact, dating and marriage are different and cannot be measured using the same standards. When you truly enter into marriage, no one is perfect, and both parties need to compromise. What you need to do now is to learn how to get along and manage your marriage with your husband, and make the most out of your days together. Marriage is an art that requires patience and dedication. Try spending quality time with your husband and share your thoughts and feelings with each other... I believe that if you learn how to nurture your marriage, you will grow and overcome this confusing problem, and truly experience the joys of life. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Actually, you know what you are protecting, and what you want, you can have it. The rest, you can only accept reality. The original poster said that over the years, we occasionally chat like friends, but he said a few days ago that he still can't forget me. He doesn't mind that I am his first. I am very rational, and I won't divorce just because he said these things, even though I sometimes don't feel happy with my husband because he sometimes doesn't appreciate me and always puts me down. But I feel emotionally dependent on this guy. After he said it was over, he hopes that I will divorce, but I can't do it. He then said some blessing words and deleted me, the twelve years of friendship, and it was hard for me. The guy's behavior is not mature enough, even if he can't be my lover, he can still be my friend! There is no need to delete you and cut off contact. He was straightforward and said that it was over, which is hard on the original poster and she is upset because of it. Let's respect others! The original poster said she was upset when he deleted her. I understand. We can find ways to relieve this uncomfortable emotion, and then the original poster can focus on managing her marriage. Here, we need to understand the nature of emotions, which is actually a non-verbal signal about self-inner needs-positive emotions means that needs have been met, while negative emotions mean that certain needs haven't been met. If we can learn to see emotions as a signal and focus on interpreting and understanding this signal. Based on this, we can figure out what our inner needs really are. Only when we understand what we want, we will know how to act, and then through actions, we can satisfy our inner selves. For example, if you need someone to listen to you and care for you, then you can seek social support. Where does social support come from? It can come from your parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, etc. They can provide you with corresponding emotional support, and you can talk to them about your experiences and seek their understanding and support. Generally speaking, the more social support you get, the easier it is to heal your inner wounds.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'll give you a warm hug. I'm married to my boyfriend now. The guy who used to like me still says he likes me, but my husband is extreme towards me. I don't know what to do. I can't forget the boy I liked before, and I can't divorce my husband because I think he will divorce me too. The boy who says he can't forget me deleted me on WeChat and I feel very sad. I feel like we can't be in contact anymore and I can't accept it. \"What you can't get is always in turmoil.\" The boy who says he can't forget me probably never actually had me, so his desire to fulfill himself hasn't been satisfied. He always wanted to have me. That's why he says he can't forget me and treats me well. But what if he actually gets me? Will he be like my current husband and reveal all his flaws? So, you have to think carefully before making any decisions. Distance creates beauty because you and he only chat occasionally and as friends. He provides you comfort and there won't be any other conflicts. This kind of distance is just right for you, so you think he's great. This distance can showcase his strengths, but what about his weaknesses? As long as he wants to, he can hide them perfectly and not let you see. So, if you actually get together with someone you have a long-distance relationship with, it will be different. Marriage should be taken seriously. According to your description, the reason you haven't broken up is because you gave your first time to him. In today's society, the requirements for women are not as strict, and many men are not virgins either, so there's no need to feel guilty. Regarding marriage, you shouldn't make a decision based solely on this. If you are truly unhappy with your husband or didn't consider it carefully before, then take the time now to think it through. If you are unhappy or it's not what you want, you can consider getting a divorce. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP, the misses and losses in life can be frustrating and heartbreaking, but let's take a moment to reflect. This boy was your junior high classmate, and during high school both he and your current husband confessed their love to you. As you described, the reason he backed off was because your current husband directly claimed you as his girlfriend. But in this situation, there is another crucial figure, and that is yourself. You had the power to accept or reject, and at that time you chose not to accept that boy but to accept your current husband, doesn't that indicate that you had already made a choice? He hopes for you to divorce, but you cannot do it, indicating that you have made your own choice as well. Many of the current situations we face actually have underlying, deeper reasons. Regarding missed opportunities and departures, it is normal for you to feel upset and regretful about this boy's departure. Because in front of this boy, you always shine brightly. It's like whenever I have any emotional discomfort, I can find him, and he would be there. So let's consider this boy's departure as a signal for dependency to cease. From this event, you can try to find strength within yourself, without him, you can still shine brightly, and you can even love others and offer love. In fact, for you, this may also be an opportunity for growth. With his departure, you can shift your focus onto yourself, onto your relationship with your husband. Regarding boundaries, we need a sense of boundaries when interacting with others, otherwise, we will feel lost between different identities. This boy has the right to pursue love and give up on love, he won't always be by your side for you to depend on. So, you should respect his choice. The bond of twelve years won't dissipate because of this, but if this boy remains in such a relationship, the pain of unrequited love may outweigh the bond of these twelve years. So, you can wish him well and also express gratitude for his company. We all have our own path in life and will face many setbacks and problems. Sometimes, facing reality and problems will give you more courage. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "If you were really rational, you probably wouldn't let the seed that should have been buried when you chose your current husband in high school sprout and take root again through conversations with him as friends. You should be grateful for his decision, and even luckier that your extreme husband didn't find out, otherwise it would be inevitable that there would be fireworks and war. His appearance and departure were both helping you, helping you understand the problems that exist in your marriage that you should have faced, not using him as an excuse to escape and give up. The first time should not be the only criterion for considering whether to enter into marriage. When your husband doesn't appreciate you and hits you, it is actually his habit of self-denial and self-attack. He doesn't even have a clear understanding of himself. Why should you take his words seriously and doubt yourself? Would you take it seriously when a child says \"you're dumb\" to you? People in a marriage see flaws in their partners, while people outside see them through rose-colored glasses. With a heart full of gratitude for the tenderness he has brought you over the past twelve years, don't gamble and imagine that this tenderness can last forever. Focus your attention back on your real life and face the reasons for every emotion that doesn't go well for you. When you have a heart that can take responsibility for your future, and not let others influence your decisions, the relationship will no longer be a problem. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "It is another heartbreaking story of someone dissatisfied with their marriage and wanting to take a shortcut. Choosing your current husband was your own decision, and now you are feeling dissatisfied and unhappy with your marriage because of the love you didn't receive in the past. I really want to ask, what would the outcome be if this man did not appear? I don't want to comment too much, so I'll give you a few words instead: 1. Healthy love must have boundaries; love without boundaries is excessive love, and the result of excessive love is mutual harm. 2. Love is falling for someone, while marriage is loving only one person. If you choose your marriage, you should have the courage and ability to manage it well.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, in your narrative, I can sense that you are a person who is very emotional and responsible. From the sentence \"After twelve years of friendship, it hurt me when he deleted me,\" it seems that I can feel that there was still some hope in your heart. That hope was shattered when the other person deleted you as their friend. Considering the current situation, what comes to your mind is what you might lose and what you will have to face in the future. Is that why you feel pain?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12604 + }, + { + "question": "Should you stay in contact with a guy who cheats?\n", + "description": "I used to have a crush on this guy. Once he started dating someone else, I slowly let go of my feelings for him. I also started dating someone else afterwards. However, he has always expressed his affection for me and even took me out without his girlfriend knowing. After going out once, I stopped because we had less contact due to being in relationships. I initially thought it was just appreciation as friends, but recently I found out that he truly has feelings for me. He is someone who easily falls for others and currently likes four girls at the same time. He knows that being with me would lead to no future and we would also lose our friendship. We get along well as friends, but him saying this is essentially emotional infidelity. I don't have feelings for him, but he treats me well. I tend to avoid attachment and don't have many friends, so I'm unsure if I should continue this kind of quasi-infidelity relationship with him or fully reject him and lose this friend, which would be a pity. I've advised him before, and he knows that his current relationship won't last. I can't handle someone liking multiple people at once.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there! Avoidant attachment is not a lack of desire for love, but rather a result of countless experiences in early childhood where needs expressed to caregivers (especially mothers) were ignored, rejected, or not responded to, leading to a desperate adoption of \"isolation\" and \"not needing\" as a way to protect one's injured heart. This protective mechanism on one hand hinders you from truly obtaining good friendships and romantic relationships that nourish you. On the other hand, it also helps you reject relationships that pose risks. However, the underlying scarcity of love in avoidant attachment is not resolved, and even the need for love is severely suppressed. So, you will be attracted to this type of person who can simultaneously like multiple individuals, not just you. Even with a girlfriend, he still takes you out for \"fun\". He tirelessly expresses his \"liking\" for you and constantly adds \"emotional value\" in your conversations. This highly stimulating \"emotional intensity\" satisfies your inner scarcity and becomes somewhat addictive. You are aware of the problems but find various reasons to self-justify and are reluctant to let go of this \"happiness\". By asking this question, you are indicating that your instincts and rationality are telling you that this relationship is dangerous. This guy is not a good partner. He directly admits to liking four girls at the same time, he can't commit to his girlfriend but still stays with her, and he claims to like you. Can this kind of liking be genuine? --- The essence of his behavior: isn't he just trying to flirt with you and have a short-term fling, and he has already made a disclaimer?! Just giving you compliments and chatting with you is enough to make you feel great, but you can't see that he has any seriousness or sincerity toward you. Before taking that step, I advise you to calm down and see --- it is your inner scarcity that attracts and is attracted to this kind of relationship. If it were any self-respecting girl with a higher level of self-love and not so deprived of love, hearing and seeing how this guy treats her, she would block him and walk away in an instant. But because you are so lacking in love, you are reluctant to let go of this feeling of being liked. However, if you continue to find reasons to stay in this kind of relationship, there is a high chance that both your emotions and physical well-being will be hurt. Stay away from toxic guys, meet good partners, and establish healthy intimate relationships - the key lies in taking responsibility for your own scarcity, giving yourself more love, and accepting and loving yourself. May you love yourself and find someone who loves you right!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16518 + }, + { + "question": "Mutual feeling between netizens, are there many obstacles between the two? Should we continue or give up?", + "description": "A net friend I met two months ago seems to have expressed a liking for me recently, and I also seem to have feelings for him. However, he rarely takes the initiative to contact me, and it feels like there are many obstacles between us. What should I do now? I don't like being disturbed by this kind of uncertainty, messing with my mood.", + "keywords": "Love, managing relationships, affection.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Dear questioner, good morning! As the saying goes, hesitation leads to confusion. I can feel the hidden worries in your heart. Let's try to communicate and see if I can provide any insights or help. When it comes to love, or intimate relationships, it can be divided into three aspects: passion, which includes desire and emotional infatuation; intimacy, which refers to the warm experiences in a relationship; and commitment, which signifies the decisions and guarantees that maintain the relationship. Reference: (Stemberg, 1986). I am not sure at which stage you and this netizen are currently in. If you haven't even met in person, then it can only be considered as a slight level of intimacy. Any future development in this relationship can be predicted in a normal manner. So, the key lies not in the other person, but in yourself. You need to figure out what you want to gain from this relationship. If you desire the other two aspects of love, you will need the other person's contribution and create the conditions for this opportunity yourself. In addition, there are all kinds of people online, so it is important to ensure your personal safety and other aspects. All the best, the world loves you.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 31, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 31, + "end": 51, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 51, + "end": 147, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 147, + "end": 165, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 165, + "end": 240, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 240, + "end": 314, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 314, + "end": 348, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 348, + "end": 359, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 10546 + }, + { + "question": "Recently, my appetite has been poor, I have been having trouble sleeping, and there have been instances of self-harm. Could this be depression?", + "description": "A 14-year-old girl has been locking herself in her room for the past few years without speaking. The furniture inside is damaged with scratches of various sizes, and she has not been eating well. She seems to be in poor mental health and engages in self-harm. Is this depression?", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling, psychological assessment.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Just by reading your words, there is a possibility that you have depression, but the diagnosis of depression is multi-dimensional. It needs to be based on your specific clinical manifestations to make a judgment. Did something happen to you? Have you talked to your parents, relatives, teachers, or classmates? Or do you not want to communicate? At the age of 14, you have a bright future, like a blooming flower of our motherland. You have a beautiful past that many people envy but can't go back to. No matter what happens, remember to take care of yourself. How long have you been in this situation? Have your parents noticed your situation? I don't know if your school has a counseling room? If possible, talk to your parents about your situation and feelings and ask them to take you to the hospital for an examination.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20667 + }, + { + "question": "Should I stop my roommate who is addicted to online dating? Lately, it seems like she's preparing to meet someone in person.", + "description": "I share a roommate relationship with her, and we are in our second year of college. She had a previous online relationship, but it ended when they met in person and she realized that the person she was dating online was not as good as she had imagined. It was clear to me that she was deceived, and she is someone who is easily deceived, which worries me about her spending months on online relationships. Recently, she has started another online relationship with a guy she met in a game, and she wants to meet him in person. They have already agreed on a meeting place and she is prepared with a gift. Our roommates have already warned her multiple times, but she still insists and believes that online relationships can be successful. However, the reality is that online relationships are really difficult to sustain. How can I kindly remind her?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP. From your description, I can feel that you care a lot about your roommate and that you are a very kind-hearted girl. You want to be friendly to your roommate and are worried about causing them harm. That's great! I'm sending you a virtual hug. You mentioned that your roommate has experienced an unsuccessful online relationship before and that you feel they are wasting their time. I wonder if you have tried to understand why your roommate is so determined to pursue online relationships and believe that they can be successful? Why do they not like dating in real life? What is their attitude towards online relationships? Maybe you can try to understand this part so that you can better understand your roommate's thoughts and have targeted communication with them. Based on the current situation, I suggest that you find an opportunity to have a serious and formal conversation with your roommate to understand their thoughts and express understanding and respect. Let them know your thoughts and concerns, and make them feel your care. This way, your roommate will be more likely to understand and accept your reminders. After you have done everything you can, it is up to your roommate to make their own choices. This is something we can't replace for them. I hope this can help you. Take care!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I can see your concern for your roommate and your worry about the consequences for her. However, it must be said that everyone has their own path to walk, and many of our experiences are learned through failure. Perhaps it sounds harsh, but that is the law of life. None of us can take responsibility for someone else's growth, just as others cannot take responsibility for ours. Because she is very committed to this matter, it is evident that she attaches great importance to it. When someone values something, it is because they hope to gain something from it. Without any expectations, there can't be such a strong motivation. Maybe she knows what she wants, but based on what you said, perhaps she doesn't know what she truly wants. She just believes that this person might be able to provide her with what she desires. This requires her to have a personal realization. After repeated failures, one day she will see the truth, learn from it, and not stumble on the same matter again. However, we can also see that in life there are many people who continue to live in a cycle, falling down over and over again, and getting back up. I hope your friend can learn something from this. You have already reminded her and shown your care and concern, but in the end, whether she can listen and accept your advice and thoughts is her choice and right. Just like the pianist in \"The Pianist on the Ocean,\" the ultimate choice of life or death lies with oneself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3393 + }, + { + "question": "Recently, my eyes have been severely teary due to working overtime. I can't seem to control it. How can I regulate it?", + "description": "Lately, I have been working overtime excessively, and whenever I don't arrive home until after 11 o'clock, I can't help but burst into tears. How should I regulate my emotions?", + "keywords": "Career, career management, work stress.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hug the subject because you must be feeling very tired due to frequent overtime work recently, and you feel a lot of pressure. Perhaps it's because you have too much pressure and not enough rest, so when you come home to this relaxing place, you can't control the desire to cry. Maybe this is also a way for you to release the pressure. Take some time during your overtime to rest and find someone you trust to chat with and seek some comfort. It's okay to allow yourself to be a little vulnerable occasionally. If you find it too difficult to cope, you can also find a counselor to talk to. Don't keep yourself too tightly wound up, it's okay to cry.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4206 + }, + { + "question": "Why do 16-year-old high school students think so much? How can they make themselves more relaxed?", + "description": "Before, I didn't care about life and was more optimistic. I believed that life should be a little happier. But since I entered high school, after the National Day holiday, sometimes I would have random thoughts, thinking about what would happen if I died, if I would have an accident, and what would happen if someone else died...it even makes me feel tight and uncomfortable in the chest. And these random thoughts are not constant, they only appear when I have free time. What should I do? How can I relax a little? (I don't have many friends, and I don't really care about my loneliness, and the academic pressure is not heavy.)", + "keywords": "emotions, depressive emotions, healing methods", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "First of all, let me give you a hug. Overthinking every day has a big impact on your state of mind and it consumes a lot of your energy. As a 16-year-old, this should be the time for you to enjoy your youth, but instead, you are left thinking about these things. It breaks my heart for you. You mentioned that ever since you started high school, after the National Day holiday, you sometimes start overthinking and have thoughts about what would happen if you died or if you had an accident, as well as how others would react if they died. This makes you feel tightness and discomfort in your chest. The feeling of chest tightness is a physical manifestation, while overthinking is an expression of your anxiety. Although you mentioned that you don't have many friends and you don't care much about your loneliness, and that academic pressure is not that high, it seems like you're relaxed, but after starting high school, you may have had some different experiences in life that you haven't noticed yet, but are being expressed through overthinking. In another sense, this is a good thing, as it can help you become more aware of your state of mind and facilitate personal growth and change. Suggestions: 1. Based on the current manifestations of your issues, it seems you have anxiety. You can try relaxation exercises to help alleviate your emotional problems. 2. Regarding overthinking, you can give yourself a specific time to think about these issues, but with a time limit. In general, if you haven't come up with a result within two minutes, then no matter how long you think, you won't be able to find an answer. So at this point, I suggest diverting your attention and preferably engaging in physical activity, as it will also be helpful for you.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 12, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 12, + "end": 81, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 81, + "end": 87, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 87, + "end": 152, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 152, + "end": 182, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 182, + "end": 276, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 276, + "end": 325, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 325, + "end": 374, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 374, + "end": 493, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to have the opportunity to answer your question. Like you, I also have a similar problem. I have trouble sleeping because I tend to overthink before bedtime. Sometimes I can't sleep at all for the whole night. I really don't want to think about it, but as soon as I close my eyes, my brain becomes very tense. When I think too much, I become sensitive, doubtful, and it's hard for me to focus on one thing. This overthinking is harmful to the body and it actually consumes our physical and mental energy. This symptom we have is considered a psychological disorder in psychology. It may be due to the influence of negative emotions, and we tend to hold on to things. It's also possible that your subconscious mind is very strong and has already overshadowed your conscious mind. My suggestion is to use personal experiences that are effective, to brainwash yourself, to tell yourself \"why should I care about these thoughts,\" \"it's a waste of my time,\" \"let it go, forget about it.\" Another suggestion is to defeat your subconscious mind, you need to increase your focus, for example, do more exercise, so that you are very energetic every day, full of positive energy. Set clear goals, force yourself to execute them, make yourself busy, so you don't have time to think. When you feel very tired, you will just want to sleep. Don't avoid the problem by diverting your attention. Face the problem and find the cause. Think about it until you come up with a result. Don't leave your problem unresolved, just search on Baidu and you will know the answer. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Best wishes and good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand your feelings. You often find it difficult to control your thoughts about death, which exhausts you. However, you don't know what to do about it. Actually, your thoughts are meaningful. Death is a topic that everyone needs to face, and proper contemplation can help us better understand life, urging us to cherish the present. But if overthinking occurs, it will lead to distress and a sense of being trapped. You mentioned that you think about these questions when you have free time, so try to keep yourself busy and redirect your attention by doing things you enjoy. Go outside, connect with nature, and exercise. Engage in conversations with others to understand their perspectives on this matter and gain some insights for yourself. Alternatively, you can actively seek answers. Write down possible outcomes and analyze and organize them, so that you can directly address this question. If you have been contemplating for a long time and still haven't found an answer, it's not necessary to dwell on it. Some things don't have to be known for certain, or it may not be the right time yet. The most important thing is to live a fulfilling life in the present, seize the time and opportunities before you, and try not to overthink. Focus on making yourself happier~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer your question. At the age of 16, adolescence, you often have a lot of contradictions. As the body develops faster than the mind, there will always be various thoughts in your mind. These are all normal psychological phenomena, the key issue is how to resolve them? After entering high school, you start to think more than before, which can be seen as progress in a sense. Learning to think shows that you are looking ahead on the path of growth. The question of death is a philosophical one. In a way, it also reflects human values. You are starting to think about the meaning and value of life from the perspective of death. Moreover, death is a broad concept that cannot be clearly understood by us individually. We can only understand it through continuous experiences and reflections in life. Therefore, this question requires us to spend our entire lives contemplating. Don't be impatient. If you only fixate on thinking, you will definitely feel confused. You will feel a tightness in your chest because you have given yourself too many negative emotions, and you want to live well and avoid unexpected events. You are somewhat anxious, even though you don't think the academic pressure is great. Regarding the question of death, we can temporarily set it aside and focus on your current studies. Will it be more helpful to your future? When you start to overthink, try to give yourself some positive suggestions, telling yourself that you don't need to think so much, there are still many tasks for you to complete. So you need to be more focused on your studies, think more about studying-related matters, and it will distract your attention. You have to believe that people have the potential to change themselves. Keep up the good work.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "OP, hello: You are already a high school student, becoming more mature and facing more challenges, bearing more academic pressures. You are no longer like when you were a child - happy all the time. Now you worry about your future. You still rely on your parents, but you have your own opinions and no longer see them as perfect heroes. You can't accept everything your parents say, even if you don't feel much academic pressure right now, it still subtly affects your thinking. Perhaps the adults and teachers around you are telling you that the college entrance examination is a decisive opportunity in your life, the most important one. And high school life is not as leisurely as middle school, the competition is fiercer, and the academic workload is heavier. It seems that you don't care about these, but deep down, you are already anxious about the future. Because you are naturally optimistic, you don't take these things to heart, but you are still influenced to some extent by these words. The tightness and discomfort in your chest are caused by anxiety, causing the flow of blood and breath to be obstructed, resulting in insufficient blood supply to the heart and lungs. All the blood in your body is concentrated in your brain, keeping your thoughts active and making you prone to overthinking. You have also noticed that whenever you have free time, you can't control your thoughts. Because when people have nothing to do, they are prone to directing their criticisms towards themselves, creating self-doubt and self-denial. Although this has a good side, reducing your future mistakes and thinking more rationally about your future, it also increases your psychological pressure. You may easily feel breathless, so you should participate in more extracurricular activities to keep yourself busy and reduce that worry. Listen to music more, sing songs, run, even though they seem to have no use for your studies, but they can distract your attention, reduce your worries, and release your negative emotions through these activities. Also, they can help improve your physical fitness, thereby reducing your troubles and enhancing your memory and comprehension abilities.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ After reaching a certain age, perhaps everyone will have similar thoughts. Because we are curious about this unknown world, there are many questions that need to be answered. Your overthinking is actually rooted in your anxiety, which comes from a kind of uncertainty about the unknown. For example, you might wonder what happens after death, or if you will have an accident... These things cannot be determined, they have many variables. It is precisely because of this uncertainty that we feel anxious, feel fearful, and then we think a lot. One point you are thinking about is very correct, which is what can you do to make yourself more comfortable right now? So the best solution is to give these questions a definitive answer. If someone says they don't know the answer to these questions, then give them an answer, give them the answer that you can believe in the most. What will happen after death? After death, you will go to heaven, or you will have to pass a narrow path and be reincarnated... It doesn't matter how you think, as long as you can convince yourself, as long as you are willing to believe. Will you have an accident? Of course not, because you are so capable and your body is healthy. If you imagine certain accident scenarios, you can also tell yourself how you ensure your safety, and even have superpowers at the most critical moment. Anxiety comes from imagination, so let it end in imagination as well. Sometimes if you think too much, then just let it be, let it go, not force it, and it will leave us more quickly. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I understand that you are often troubled by anxiety and fear, and I believe you must be under a lot of pressure. Our conscious mind knows not to think about it, but the subconscious mind still wants to. So, I believe simply telling you not to be afraid and that it's all just your imagination may not be very helpful for you. It may be better to explore the underlying reasons behind these fears. There are often deeper reasons behind the fear of death. You can ask yourself, what would happen after death? Sometimes, the fear of death stems from a lack of direction in life, not being able to find a sense of love, or even expressing some sort of anger. As a result, the force that should be directed outward turns inward, resulting in self-attack and becoming anxiety or a lack of motivation, among other things. If possible, try to explore the underlying reasons behind your fears (if you find it difficult to do so on your own and can't escape this pain, joining a growth group can also be a good option). I think there may be many emotions inside you, waiting to be seen. If possible, try to foster some relationships and find one or two friends whom you can confide in. Also, engage in activities that you enjoy. Your inner self will be nourished by having warm relationships.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Good afternoon, OP! I'm glad to meet you here. I have carefully read your message. I feel like after this National Day holiday, you have grown up and have many thoughts. These thoughts and ideas make you feel nervous, worried, chest tightness, oppression, and discomfort. These psychological and physical discomforts confuse you. You hope to find a solution to make yourself feel more relaxed. Personally, I feel that high school students have a lot of academic pressure and a sense of urgency. In this situation, it is normal to have some symptoms both psychologically and physically. It feels like you are too nervous, or something happened during the National Day holiday. My suggestion is that you need to relax. For example, try observing your breath, with each slow inhale and exhale, you will feel your body becoming more relaxed. Or listen to some relaxing music. You can also try doing some exercise or go for a run. These are some suggestions you can try. Finally, I wish you a happy mood.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5690 + }, + { + "question": "How to get along with elderly hoarders?", + "description": "How to get along with the elderly? Living with an elderly person who loves to hoard things.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! From your brief description, it appears that you are frustrated with the hoarding behavior of elderly individuals. I share the same sentiment. Elderly people have a strong inclination to hoard items, even those that are useless and have been sitting around for decades. They simply cannot bring themselves to throw things away. This behavior is directly linked to their life experiences and has become a habit. As younger generations, we truly have no way of changing them. We can only accept and tolerate them. My approach is to let them hoard for a while, and then I secretly clean up and throw away some items, one by one, without attracting their attention. This way, you can keep them happy and avoid conflicts between each other. Additionally, your home won't be cluttered with piles of garbage.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 26, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 26, + "end": 36, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 36, + "end": 135, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 135, + "end": 146, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 146, + "end": 192, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 192, + "end": 231, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 5806 + }, + { + "question": "How to deal with a seemingly avoidant personality depressive boyfriend?", + "description": "My boyfriend has an avoidant personality and I recently discovered that he has a history of depression. However, his avoidance is not because of any conflicts between us, but rather due to other issues and problems with his family. Normally, he would avoid me for a couple of days and then come back to tell me what's going on and how he feels. But this time, for some reason, he has been missing for a month. In the middle of it, he only answered one phone call to tell me he was catching up on school work and assignments (we're both college students). Later, when I called, his phone was either switched off or he didn't answer. I would regularly send him packages with letters, but he hasn't collected any since the end of May. It seems that the purpose of our phone calls is to make me happy and reassure me that I can focus on studying, maybe he feels that saying goodnight to me every day and having two calls a week is a burden. But I am really scared now that he has disappeared for such a long time, and we are also far apart so I cannot go and take care of him. But I really don't want to give up. Other than his occasional strange behavior, everything else is fine and we are very compatible. I really like him. Right now, I just send him a goodnight message every night without bothering him, hoping that he knows I am here. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or not.", + "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, love management.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I think the support from the questioner is really good. Even as a counselor, there is no other way to help visitors who do not have the willingness to seek help, except for providing companionship. Perhaps your presence is like a ray of light in their dark night, or maybe your companionship doesn't have much effect on them. It's impossible to predict the impact of your actions on others, all we can say is that you are doing your best, living up to this relationship, and answering to yourself. However, as a partner, his current state puts a lot of psychological pressure on you, so take care of yourself and live your own life well. As for your boyfriend, for now, it can only be like this. Don't guess, take his words as they are. If he says calling you is not a burden, then it's not a burden. If he says he is doing fine, then he is. Believe that he, as an adult, can take care of himself. This is respect and trust.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18030 + }, + { + "question": "In 17 days, there will be the college entrance examination (gaokao). I always have nightmares at night and dare not sleep, feeling tired and lacking energy.", + "description": "In the past year, I have been having recurring nightmares at night. I am in my third year of high school and there are only 17 days left until the college entrance examination. Even during afternoon naps, I have nightmares and I can't sleep. I am afraid to go to sleep. Right now, my brain is exhausted from studying and I don't have the energy to learn. My efficiency is low and I am very anxious and scared. I have dreamed of being trapped in a maze, blood-filled coffins, skeletons chasing me, being followed behind a crossroad at night, riding a hearse into a colorless wasteland, stabbing myself in the abdomen with a knife, being chased by sharks at the bottom of the sea, dismembered bodies downstairs, falling into a snow pit, being soaked in a field of poisonous snakes, a ghostly grandmother in a green cloak at the door, being kidnapped, blood flowing uncontrollably staining my white shoes, being abandoned in a deserted village, getting lost in the deep mountains, countless recent nightmares. Yesterday at noon, I dreamed of being quarantined in a hospital with my mother, without any study materials, and having to stay there for 15 days in that eerie place. My mother told me not to speak or else I would be taken away. I am so anxious and scared. This sleep problem is affecting my study. What should I do? I don't want to have nightmares anymore??? The college entrance examination is less than twenty days away!", + "keywords": "Emotion, depressive emotion, anxious emotion, panic and helplessness. ", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me to answer. After reading your description, I genuinely feel afraid for you. So many nightmares, so vivid, and it has been over a year. I wonder how you manage to calm yourself and recover from fear after waking up from each dream to face the stress of studying. I also find myself unable to escape flashes of terrifying scenes from my dreams during everyday studying. Due to limited information and the inability to have substantial communication with you, I can only provide possible psychological explanations based on your account. Your nightmares began over a year ago, right before the most crucial year of studying for the college entrance examination. The senior year of high school is undoubtedly an important year for preparing for the exam, and your nightmares have severely affected your study efficiency. Ultimately, they will impact your exam results, leading to lower scores compared to what you would have achieved through normal preparation, resulting in a decline in your performance. In other words, your nightmares substantially hinder your performance, and this is the effect of the nightmares. Perhaps subconsciously you fear success, fearing that you will achieve higher scores in the exam. One psychological theory suggests that if a person is afraid of success, it activates their primitive sense of omnipotent narcissism. After succeeding, they may exhibit exaggerated aspects of infantile behavior, which inherently causes extreme anxiety in adults. Therefore, they try to find ways to prevent themselves from succeeding. In your dreams, many death scenes appear, which may be representative of the aggression of an infant. These aggressive tendencies were repressed during your infancy, such as moments when you were mischievous, cried, or hit objects. They were suppressed by significant caregivers at the time, who did not allow you to express or exhibit them. Thus, as the college entrance examination approaches, these repressed emotions are activated. Of course, this is just a speculation, and a deeper understanding requires working with you and listening to your inner voice. However, you demonstrate a pattern of relying on external relationships, either trying to handle everything on your own or completely depending on and trusting others. This may also indicate that you did not establish a healthy attachment relationship during early childhood. This is not your fault but rather a result of significant caregivers failing to help you develop a good object relationship. This aspect can be addressed through psychological counseling. Lastly, I wish you the best of luck and a successful college entrance examination.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I hope you can hang in there! Many candidates feel nervous and have many nightmares before the exam. I am no exception, especially during the college entrance examination, it was particularly difficult for me to fall asleep. I can understand how you feel, and I hope my personal experience can help you. 1. Why are you nervous? The college entrance examination is very important. Teachers, parents, and many people say that you have been studying hard for twelve years just to win the college entrance examination. But, dear, every step you take counts. Your growth, your learning, is not only represented by the score of the college entrance examination. Don't be nervous, the college entrance examination is not everything in life. Calm down, don't imagine the disaster after the exam, just work hard before the exam. Study with a calm mind, exercise appropriately, it's hot recently and it's easy to have heatstroke. What you need to do is drink more water, take care of yourself, and meet the college entrance examination with a healthy body. Regarding sleep, pay attention to rest, don't stay up late to study hard, it will affect efficiency the next day. Develop a fixed rest time, even if you can't fall asleep, try deep breathing to relieve tension. Focus your attention on breathing, your brain will get relief, and it will be easier to fall asleep. It's less than twenty days before the college entrance examination, how to resolve anxiety. Some people say that maintaining moderate anxiety before the exam can keep you alert and perform better in the exam. But obviously, you are already overly anxious, which leads to half the effort. 1. To resolve anxiety, first lower your expectations and set your college entrance examination goals based on your actual situation, don't aim too high. 2. Seek help, teachers and classmates are comrades-in-arms fighting with you, you need to believe in them, communicate with them in a timely manner, and relieve your own pressure. 3. Encourage yourself. The closer you get to the end, the more you need to affirm yourself. Believe in yourself. If you can't even believe in yourself, how can you hold on? Finally, as someone who has been through it, let me tell you that the college entrance examination that once made me nervous is not so important when I look back. So, don't be nervous, relax and face it. Good luck with the college entrance examination.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The anxiety and tension before the college entrance examination are normal. I can see that most of your dreams are related to being lost, pursued, or death, which are indeed terrifying. However, they also reflect your deep-seated anxiety in your subconscious mind. If you cannot adjust psychologically in a short period of time, it is recommended to start with your physical and environmental aspects. Before going to sleep, you can use self-suggestion to tell yourself that you will have a good sleep and wake up refreshed in the morning, so that you can have a better day of revision. You can also imagine a dream that you want to have before falling asleep, the more detailed the better. If you find it difficult to come up with a dream, you can choose an idol or any character you like, and imagine the details of that person, suggesting to yourself that if I have a nightmare, that person will appear in my nightmare to protect me. Imagining a character may be easier. Physiologically, you can do a progressive relaxation exercise before bedtime, starting from one body part to another. I recommend \"Guided Relaxation\" which you can listen to and follow for about half an hour. Try to avoid stimulating exercise or activities that are mentally or physically exhausting half an hour before bed. You can also have a warm glass of milk or something similar to help with sleep. In terms of the environment, try to make the lighting, pillows, and clothes as comfortable as possible. It is suggested to give it a try. It may not have a complete effect, but it will bring some improvement. Having moderate stress and anxiety is not all bad, it is only harmful when it becomes excessive. Just do your best during these ten or so days, especially in the last few days, and maintaining a positive mindset is the most important.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug you, my dear sweetheart. I deeply understand your pain. It's okay. Sending you a warm sun. Here is my analysis: \n1. Dreams are the language of the subconscious mind. The content of your dreams is diverse, but all revolving around one word: crisis. This means that your life is inevitably filled with a sense of crisis. \n2. The college entrance exam is approaching, and the pressure is great. It's like walking on a single plank bridge, a major turning point in life. However, I want to tell you that getting into Tsinghua or Peking University doesn't necessarily mean success. Xie Yuhang, a top student at Peking University, is seen as a symbol of perfection by others. He is a winner in the college entrance exam. But what does it matter? He killed his mother and dismembered her, causing the world to despise him. \n3. Studying is not the only way out. It is just a stepping stone to success. Without it, you can still succeed by striving. Whenever you feel anxious, tell yourself that it's okay to fail the college entrance exam, and then shift your focus to doing homework. Just focus on reviewing, and don't worry about the results. That's the mindset of a successful person. \n4. In fact, most of a child's pain is caused by their parents. Our parents only care about whether their children can fly high, but never ask if they are tired from flying. I feel sorry for you. Sending you a warm hug. \n5. Do you believe in me, bro? If you do, I will pass on to you a set of unparalleled martial arts. It will make you overcome all obstacles and fear nothing. The power of this divine technique depends on your level of trust. It has only eight words of true mantra, which are: acceptance, permission, blockage, and diversion. Acceptance and permission are internal techniques, while blockage and diversion are external techniques. Come on, the world and I love you. Thank you for your question, may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the college entrance examination is really a very important event in life, so it is understandable that you have such a series of psychological pressures due to the college entrance examination. \u2474Problem analysis from your various descriptions and behaviors, whether it is nightmares or not daring to sleep, etc., are all due to the fear of performing poorly in the college entrance examination, feeling that time is short and it is difficult to achieve the desired improvement, thinking that there is not enough study time. In addition, the issue of the epidemic this year may also have a certain impact on your psychology. The sudden and uncertain factor of the epidemic may make you feel that certain unexpected or sudden situations may occur, leaving you unprepared. \u2475Problem-solving methods, how to solve this anxiety, excessive thinking, and excessive stress? I have three suggestions for you. \u2474First, the main reason for the problems you are facing now is that your motivation is too high. Studies by psychologists Yekes and Dawson have shown that every activity has an optimal level of motivation. Insufficient or too strong motivation will lead to a decrease in work efficiency. For students facing the college entrance examination, the college entrance examination is not a simple matter. A lower level of motivation in difficult tasks is conducive to the completion of the tasks. In other words, if your level of motivation is too high and it puts too much pressure on you, your performance may not be as satisfactory. For example, those who panic during the college entrance examination, or even tremble when picking up a pen, and various low psychological qualities are all due to excessive motivation and excessive focus on the results of the examination, without focusing on the actual examination process and preparation. In the face of such problems, you should focus on what you should be doing now, how to prepare for the examination, rather than thinking about various possible bad results before the results are not available. \u2475Ensure sufficient sleep and maintain energy. Lack of sleep will reduce learning efficiency, lack of concentration, and make it difficult to remember and learn the things you need. Lack of concentration will also make it difficult for you to plan your studies and have the energy to review and grasp the content before the exam. So, not only do you need to lie down and prepare for bed at the right time, if you really can't sleep, you can listen to light music. There are many sleep aid apps available on the market now, which I think are quite effective. \u2476The most important thing now is to make good use of the review time. Indeed, as you said, time is very tight, but even if there is only one day left before the exam, we should still make every effort to review, right? Until the exam is over, we can't give up. So, if possible, make a review plan based on your own situation, or consult a teacher, and try your best to learn everything you can master, without wasting too much energy on thinking about things that are useless, such as not having enough time, having poor foundations, or not being able to perform well, etc. What you need to do now is to study, to prepare for your exam. Good luck to you, get a good score, and keep going.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug you, my little cutie. The preparation for the early stage of the college entrance examination is a long process. I hope you can persevere and hold on until the last moment. Keep it up! It is normal to feel nervous before the exam, as it puts our bodies in a stressful state. Moderate tension can help us better achieve our goals, but excessive tension can have the opposite effect. It seems that your nervousness is already seriously affecting your life and exam preparation. You dream of your mother, so what role do you think your mother plays in your life? To avoid having nightmares at night, we can try to expend more energy during the day, so that we can sleep more soundly. When I took the college entrance exam, I was also very nervous as the exams were approaching. I had a strong aversion to studying back then. I called my mother that day and she brought me home. After relaxing at home for a day, I felt much better and when I returned to school, I wasn't as nervous anymore. It's probably because the tight deadline and heavy workload made you anxious and caused the nightmares. You can take a break and try not to think about how many days are left until the exam. Instead, focus on learning every day, and on the day of the exam, just tell yourself to write down everything you know. Making an effort is the greatest reward for yourself, and let the heavens judge the results. Good luck with the college entrance exam!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19352 + }, + { + "question": "23 years old, still acting like a child, could sensitive social anxiety be causing my intellectual regression?", + "description": "Before the college entrance examination, she was an outgoing and sociable girl. After transferring schools due to physical reasons, she experienced campus violence. Coupled with the lack of paternal love due to her parents' divorce in childhood, she suffered from depression and anxiety disorders, leading to emotional breakdown. Due to financial conditions and the pressure of the college entrance examination, she did not receive systematic psychological counseling. It has been 8 years now, and she has also graduated from university. Although she has gone through a lot, she feels that her words and actions are still stuck in her mindset from 8 years ago. Her emotional intelligence and intellectual quotient are not on the same level as her peers. Therefore, in order to avoid work and social interaction, she stays at home and prepares for postgraduate entrance examination or going abroad. There is a term called \"regression period\". Is there any way to change this situation?", + "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "\"Hello, OP, I hope my answer can help you. Is the current confusion due to sensitive social anxiety causing cognitive decline? Is it normal to avoid work and socializing by staying at home and preparing for postgraduate programs or studying abroad? Preliminary analysis: Do you have social anxiety disorder? Firstly, the strongest feeling of social anxiety is emotional anxiety, unease, and fear. This may include fears of eye contact or public speaking, amongst others. Additionally, there may be physical discomfort, such as blushing or rapid heartbeat when encountering people. Many people mistake their slight nervousness and anxiety about socializing as \"social anxiety disorder.\" Everyone experiences some social anxiety, but it does not reach the level of a \"disorder.\" In your case, it is more likely that you feel that your emotional intelligence is not on par with others, which makes you hesitant to engage and causes psychological rejection. However, actually engaging with others would not result in severe distress, and if the conversation goes well, you would still feel happy. Therefore, it seems to be more related to low self-esteem. Is it normal to avoid the current situation? \"Self-protection\" is an innate mechanism in humans. In unfamiliar environments or facing unpleasant situations, the subconscious behavior is to avoid or escape. This is very normal, and you have a clear self-awareness in this regard, so there is no major problem. The real problem lies in \"excessive self-denial,\" believing that you are not perfect enough or inferior to others, which leads to an internal resistance to and fewer interactions with the outside world, ultimately resisting self-discovery. Some suggestions: Learn to forget the past and focus on the present. I recently read a book called \"The Courage to Be Disliked,\" which inspired me in a few ways. The main message is that the problem is not how the world is but what kind of person you are. Regardless of your upbringing or past experiences, they may have influenced you, but you are ultimately in control. If you feel you are not perfect in the present, instead of excessively examining the past reasons, focus on finding solutions. Is your current lack of confidence really due to low emotional intelligence and low IQ? More likely, you haven't learned enough, haven't been exposed to enough, and don't consider yourself particularly remarkable. Now, you have chosen to pursue postgraduate studies or study abroad, so don't dwell on those things; instead, prepare well and succeed in one fell swoop. Acknowledge your efforts and achievements. There are many ways to strengthen confidence and reduce anxiety. The most effective method is to have \"low expectations, high behaviors, and take it seriously.\" You are now better than you think, and you have more and stronger abilities. You just need a breakthrough, which is to take action and try. Many problems are created by overthinking. If you think you are not good enough, you can ask people around you how they perceive you. Correctly viewing yourself will greatly improve your mindset. Don't overthink, and if you feel anxious, read more books. In this world, reading books and listening to music are the most healing. Reading broadens your horizons, enhances emotional intelligence, and distances you from the current environment, providing soothing effects for both your mindset and psychology. Music does the same, but it primarily provides emotional and psychological comfort. This world is beautiful, and you are truly amazing! Look forward to discovering a better self and embracing a better future. Everything will be fine!\"", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the original paragraph is as follows:\n\n\"Hello, after reading about the various setbacks you have experienced along the way, carrying scars and loneliness, I can imagine the sense of loss and helplessness you have experienced. You have evaluated yourself as having \"behavior and actions still at the level of 8 years ago, emotional intelligence and intelligence not in the same league as peers.\" It makes me wonder if something has happened recently that has made you feel very immature and dissatisfied with yourself. In fact, you have been admitted to a university, graduated, and have the ability and goal to study abroad through postgraduate entrance examinations. Your ability to learn and self-regulate is not weak. Even after graduating from university, there are still many unknowns that most young people have to face, and being mature enough may not be enough. The concept of \"regression period\" seems to be a label you have given yourself, providing a reasonable explanation for your dissatisfaction with yourself, but it may also be a limitation. In psychology, regression refers to when a person reverts to their childhood response patterns under stress, but it does not mean that their inner growth remains at a certain stage. Our psychological development continues, albeit at different speeds, throughout our lives. It is just that we may encounter setbacks and setbacks that affect our internal integration and resilience, but we can still repair and rebuild ourselves. Childhood is an important time for establishing a person's sense of security, and the transition from high school to university is an important stage in transitioning from adolescence to adulthood and forming self-identity. Indeed, you have experienced setbacks and deficiencies in these two stages, which may have made your growth less smooth. But \"slow\" does not mean \"stop\" or \"regress.\" Being aware that you are avoiding work and social interactions is itself a good awareness and understanding of oneself. In times of dissatisfaction, people often try to find answers by judging themselves, but the effect is to use judgment as a label, making themselves less confident and fixed in that position. Evaluating oneself as having \"emotional intelligence and intelligence not in the same league as peers\" does not help oneself become more mature. It is better to think about what aspects of emotional intelligence you want to improve on and what goals you have for intelligence. Accordingly, you can learn relevant content, such as Carnegie's series on emotional intelligence, or whether there are outstanding individuals around you whom you admire and can learn from. As for the part of lacking love and motivation internally, you can learn some psychology knowledge, understand yourself better, and if possible, participate in interpersonal groups and receive systematic psychological counseling. Let go of the labels and move forward, that is the best way.\"", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! You can feel the OP's inner depression, anxiety, and fear. This situation of avoiding work, socializing, and staying at home to prepare for study abroad can be seen as regressive behavior caused by a severe lack of self-confidence and security, which is a subconscious protective behavior of the self, and not a \"regression period\" of the OP's psyche. The OP mentioned that their parents divorced and separated in their childhood, and the lack of paternal love led to the OP developing depression and anxiety. This also indirectly reflects that the relationship between the OP and their mother is also abnormal, lacking understanding, acceptance, recognition, and care from their mother. For a young OP, it is difficult to understand why parents would divorce and separate, and this separation also means being \"abandoned\" by one of the loved ones. The subconscious instinct will consider it as not being good enough, leading to the parents' divorce and the OP being abandoned, and now having experienced the feeling of \"abandonment\" once, they will also worry about being \"abandoned\" again. They will instinctively suppress themselves to please their mother, in order to survive and hope to gain their mother's understanding, acceptance, recognition, support, and care. The inner feeling of not being good enough makes it difficult for the OP to trust, understand, and accept themselves sufficiently, and they feel that their inner being is powerless and helpless, especially when facing contact and interaction with others. Influenced by their parents' marriage, they lack a sense of security in normal social and intimate relationships, feel anxious and uneasy, and instinctively want to avoid socializing in order to reduce their anxiety and fear. Regarding the OP's parents, their divorce and separation can be seen as a serious problem in their emotional relationship, which cannot continue to live and be together and needs to separate in order to resolve it. It can be said as their own needs, and it has no great relevance to the OP. Maybe the OP didn't realize that even though they feel anxious and scared when faced with contact and interaction with others from childhood to adulthood, they still maintain various social relationships with people around them, such as neighbors, classmates, teachers, supermarket cashiers, strangers, and so on. Every day, they are in contact and dealing with many people in their lives. Perhaps, during this process, some events have occurred that made the OP feel anxious and uneasy, but not all contact and interaction have caused the OP anxiety and unease. There are also contacts and interactions that make the OP feel more relaxed, natural, and happy. Now that the OP is preparing to study abroad at home, studying abroad also means they will be further away from their mother and have to interact with more strangers. According to the current psychological and emotional state, it will be difficult for them to accept and bear such a situation. Therefore, to address the OP's struggles, a detailed goal plan should be developed to release repressed emotions, heal inner wounds, gradually step out of the house and interact with others. It is advisable to consider scheduling an appointment with a suitable therapist for professional psychological counseling.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, poster! I hope my humble efforts can help you. Question: Even after experiencing many things after graduation, I still feel that my words and actions are stuck eight years ago. My emotional intelligence and intelligence do not match those of my peers, and I avoid work and social interactions. Analysis: Regression period: In psychology, psychological regression is a defense mechanism to prevent anxiety. When a person faces setbacks, anxiety, and stress, they abandon the relatively mature survival skills and behaviors they have learned, and their behavior and psychological activities regress to an earlier stage of life in order to reduce their anxiety and fulfill their unmet desires. Psychological regression is also a key stage in your self-healing and recovery. For people with depression, during the recovery phase, they may lose self-confidence and their psychological and social functions may decline. They engage in regressive behaviors to resist anxiety and escape reality. This is also why you want to avoid social interactions and work. Childhood psychological trauma caused by school violence, incomplete emotional connection with parents due to divorce, and a lack of security and paternal love have led to a lack of security in you. In the phase of relationship repair, a state of longing for love will arise, manifested as regression to a lower level. This belongs to compensatory regression, which awakens your deep-seated needs. So you need to view the regression period rationally, which is to some extent a good reaction. However, it also requires your own efforts and proper guidance. You need to try and learn to accept yourself. And bravely try to socialize, never avoid it. Social interaction can help you open the door tightly closed in your heart. Keep going, we are always here for you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, it's great to see that you are seeking help. I hope we can assist you in some way. Based on your description, it seems that the divorce of your parents during your childhood has already caused psychological trauma for you. It is quite rare for someone to maintain an extroverted personality before adolescence under such circumstances, indicating that you are not inherently more sensitive or prone to depression. Returning to the issue of transferring schools due to \"health reasons\" and experiencing \"campus violence\" while feeling physically unwell, this double blow has led to your complete loss of ability to cope with stress and subsequently develop depression and anxiety disorders. It has been eight years, I wonder if your depression has improved? If there hasn't been any improvement and you are still in a state of anxiety and confusion, I suggest you seek professional help from a psychologist. However, if the situation has improved and it is only the issue you mentioned about feeling like your behavior is still stuck in the past and that your emotional intelligence and intelligence are not at the same level as your peers, from a psychological standpoint, it is common for individuals with mental disorders to experience some form of psychological regression, where they retreat to their childhood or student phase and use previous thinking patterns to confront problems. This is known as a regression of psychological age. If the issues obstructing your psychological development have not been addressed, your mind will remain stuck in the past in certain aspects or as a whole, and this gradual accumulation will result in a form of psychological growth disorder. The past is in the past, move forward, and if you keep looking back, of course, you won't see any changes. I suggest you try to accept the present and focus on your postgraduate entrance examination. However, I don't recommend completely avoiding social interactions; it would be better to try going out. Although it may be challenging for you at the moment, refusing to engage will not help you progress. Believe in yourself! I hope to hear good news from you. Take care.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, from your words, what I see is not how \"bad\" you are in this situation, but I see your motivation for a complete transformation, and I am deeply moved. You mentioned your changes before and after the college entrance examination and your family situation during childhood. Indeed, these past experiences have made you feel very uncomfortable. Perhaps, you have always felt a lack of support and love around you, and these experiences have also left you with many shadows. However, without external help from systematic psychological counseling, you were still able to continue your studies, complete college, and now you are even preparing for postgraduate study abroad at home. I think you have been through so much! Sometimes, we tend to notice the areas where we are not doing well or the places where we are unhappy and hope to make up for our unhappiness. But I think it is more important for you to see the resources within yourself! Eight years have passed, what made you persevere until now? In those difficult days, what supported you? What made you want to improve yourself and study abroad in such circumstances? In fact, you can carefully think about the questions above, these are all the resources within you, the \"resources\" and \"strength\" that have helped you overcome difficulties one by one. Maybe in some aspects of life, such as social interaction, which you mentioned, it may not be perfect in your mind. But you need to see the desire for change within yourself and the existing resources. You can make progress through reading books, professional psychological counseling, and other help. You are actually very capable, you just don't realize it! Also, make sure to see your own shining points!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, when a person's mental health is sick, it is highly likely to cause psychological degeneration. Before the college entrance examination, Luo was an outgoing and sociable girl, but she could not bear the psychological pressure after experiencing some incidents. The triggering of unpleasant childhood experiences led to depression and anxiety. If depression is not treated in a timely manner, it will cause the patient to become more and more isolated. Long-term depression can lead to brain lesions and excessive production of certain hormones. She becomes excessively pessimistic about any problem encountered. Luo was diagnosed with depression but did not receive systematic treatment. She isolated herself and went from loving socializing to not wanting to socialize, and eventually became afraid of socializing. Her mental decline has hindered her psychological maturity, and her behavior is consistent with that of eight years ago. To solve the problem from the root, we should start with the depression that caused a series of negative reactions. Although I don't know if Luo's current financial situation allows for it, it is necessary to seek treatment from a mental health professional. Enumerate the triggers of depression, and with the help of a psychologist, overcome the inner demons. Luo should also have more confidence and not feel inferior because she believes she is far behind her peers. Her current situation is not entirely her fault. When faced with danger, it is instinctive to choose to escape. Luo avoids work and socializing in order to protect herself from harm. If going abroad to study is more comfortable for Luo than working in her home country, then she should not worry too much about her mental decline. Instead, she should focus on studying hard and preparing for further education. In terms of socializing and working, she can take it slow. Through the efforts of a psychologist and herself, she can gradually eliminate the fear of socializing. When feeling down, Luo can do things she enjoys or write in a diary, or simply get a good night's sleep... I hope my answer is helpful to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Give you a hug, you who want to change despite going through hardships! The regression in psychology I am referring to is not the same concept as the regression you mentioned. In psychology, regression refers to when a person, in a sufficiently safe and stable environment, regresses to a state that is much younger than their actual age. However, the regression you mentioned does not satisfy the condition of a safe and stable environment. The outside world was once unsafe, so you don't want to go out, fearing further harm. This is a manifestation of subconscious self-protection. At the same time, you yearn to connect with others, which is your true desire. Therefore, when you are in a state where you are afraid to interact with others, you blame yourself. Accept your current state and also recognize the positive motivation behind your reluctance to go out. Allow yourself to gradually change.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14182 + }, + { + "question": "I don't know where to go, how can I find the motivation to continue on the path of pursuing a college degree?", + "description": "19 years old, failed to repeat the year last year, the learning atmosphere in the vocational school is not very good, and now I feel very confused, not knowing where my direction is. I am still willing to work hard, but I feel that there is a lot that I don't understand. There are also some unfair issues regarding my grades. If I choose to comply, I will have inner conflicts. If I choose not to compromise, I feel like I don't fit in. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, student growth, life meaning", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, based on your question, I can feel your disappointment due to failing the reexamination and not being admitted to your ideal school, as well as your confusion and anxiety about the future. I understand you. Sending you a hug. #Let's take a closer look at the specific problem# [I'm 19 years old. I failed the reexamination last year and now I'm studying in a college where the academic atmosphere is not very good. I feel very lost and don't know where my direction is.] It can be seen that because you didn't get into your ideal university after repeating a year, you ended up in a college and the academic atmosphere there isn't great, which makes you feel disappointed and regretful. You may feel sad and think that there might not be a good future for you with just a college degree, which is indeed a very sad thing and I understand you. [I am willing to work hard, but I feel that I don't understand a lot. I also have some unfair treatment in terms of school performance. Choosing to obey makes me feel uncomfortable with myself, and choosing not to compromise makes me feel out of place.] You have just entered university and you are facing a new environment. You are not happy with some unfair behaviors at the school and you don't know whether you should conform or stick to your own beliefs. It is normal to feel confused in such a situation. Don't be too anxious for now. Give yourself some time to adapt and adjust. Start with the small things you should do, do good deeds, don't ask about the future. Maybe you will gradually find a clearer path ahead. #Suggestions for resolving the problem# First, know yourself and establish goals. People often feel lost because they don't have direction and goals. So you need to think about your goals, analyze yourself seriously, discover your strengths, talents, and interests, and establish goals that suit you based on these. Second, adjust your perception and seek improvement. You may need to understand that a college degree doesn't mean no future, and not getting into your ideal university doesn't mean your future life will be terrible. The college entrance examination and entering university are just stages in life and cannot completely determine your future. You are always in control of your own future. There are still many people who achieve success even after attending college. There are many ways to improve yourself based on your goals: 1) The first way: improve your education level. If you value your education, you can study hard and try to transfer to a bachelor's degree program or even continue your advanced studies. The process of learning will enrich yourself and improve your education level. 2) The second way: obtain certificates. If there are certifications that are beneficial to your future career path, you can take them during your university period. These certificates with high value will enhance your competitiveness and expand your job opportunities after graduation. 3) The third way: enrich yourself and improve your abilities. The main task in university is learning, but the cultivation and improvement of various abilities are also very important. University serves as a transitional stage before entering society. In addition to basic learning tasks and the development of professional skills, the improvement of social and communication skills are also essential for survival in society. Therefore, take advantage of the relatively relaxed and free time during university, participate in activities, exercise, enrich yourself, and enhance various abilities. This will be very helpful for your future entry into society. Finally, take action and persevere. Any goal and choice ultimately need concrete actions to be achieved. We cannot change the environment, but we can change ourselves. When you start taking action instead of being trapped in emotions, when you empower yourself, take action, and persistently strive to improve yourself, you will find that things are not as bad as you imagine. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Best wishes to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1591 + }, + { + "question": "How long does it take to study and accumulate from a beginner counselor to a professional counselor?", + "description": "Counselors need constant learning and accumulation in their profession, and it takes solid counseling foundations and skills to grow from a novice counselor to a professional one. I would like to ask professional counselors how long it takes to grow from a beginner to a professional counselor. Can you share your experiences, teachers?", + "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I don't know about other teachers, but from being a novice in psychology to becoming a professional career counselor, I have studied for 10 years. It took me 4 to 5 years to transition from a beginner counselor to a relatively skilled one. I continuously learn the fundamental knowledge and skills of psychology and integrate what I have learned into my actual counseling practice, discussing and helping visitors solve their problems. It helps me grow, a bit like solving equations in mathematics, \"boldly assuming, cautiously verifying.\" In terms of theory, I personally believe that basic knowledge is crucial. All complex psychological activities and behavioral expressions are composed of the most fundamental conditional factors, just like all substances are made up of the most basic atomic elements. By arranging and combining this basic knowledge according to different actual situations, one can understand and interpret visitors' problems. As for operational skills, there can be many, such as psychoanalysis, cognitive-behavioral therapy, humanistic therapy, postmodern narrative therapy, and so on. It depends on one's interests, abilities, and preferences to choose the appropriate school of knowledge. Learning these skills not only helps oneself gain a clearer understanding of oneself but also enables a more reasonable and effective way to help visitors understand and solve their own problems. In short, combining theory with practical experience is the key to personal growth. Theory and practice, like the yin and yang in Taoism, need to be balanced to find harmony in both body and mind. When oneself is balanced and stable, only then can they help others achieve the same equilibrium and stability.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 22172 + }, + { + "question": "Consistency countertransference and complementary countertransference, do they coexist?", + "description": "During the treatment process, is there a simultaneous presence of consistency countertransference and complementary countertransference, or is there a sequence?", + "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug. Empathy is a technique frequently used by psychological counselors in the counseling process, but it is different from traditional empathy. You mentioned congruent countertransference and complementary countertransference. Congruent countertransference is often mistaken for empathy. What does complementary countertransference mean? It means that the counselor's countertransference reflects the client's internal feelings and emotional fluctuations in the client-object relationship. Congruent countertransference refers to the counselor's emotional feelings that may be more consistent with the client's feelings. Let's take an extreme example: if the client falls in love with the counselor, the client may try to make the counselor aware of this during counseling. The counselor, on the other hand, wants to reject this situation. When the client's explicit or implied actions fail, the client may feel that the counselor has received their hints but rejected them. This may remind the client of past experiences of being manipulated, insulted, or abandoned by various people. When discussing these things, the client may appear calm, as if talking about someone else's matters, while the counselor may feel very sad or uncomfortable. And if this sadness is not due to the counselor's personal situation, at this point, it is believed that the production of this emotion is actually the client projecting their own feelings onto the counselor, possibly to make the counselor aware that despite looking calm, their inner pain may be even more severe than what the counselor feels, and they need help. At this point, we naturally can use this emotion as a prompt or entry point to inquire. Alternatively, the counselor may have the opposite attitude, being aware of the client's emotions and behaviors, and expressing anger and sadness about it, attempting to terminate the counseling or not being able to control themselves and getting angry directly. In the above example, the former handling method is congruent countertransference, and the latter handling method is complementary countertransference. So Phil believes that, loosely speaking, they can coexist, but if we want to compare them in detail, there must be a specific sequence, not simultaneous, unless the other person also has \"problems\". I hope my answer can help you. (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 142 + }, + { + "question": "Does caring about others' opinions, definitions, and labels only mean going with the flow?", + "description": "A person becomes a person by first being able to follow the principles they set for themselves, knowing what kind of person they should be, knowing what they should do, and taking responsibility for it. They should not be influenced by the opinions of others, including all authorities. Regardless of whether others say they are stubborn, as long as they don't care about others' opinions and persist in doing what they want to do, then they can become their own person because evaluations and thoughts belong to others. They cannot control how others evaluate and think, so the only thing they can do is believe in themselves and what they are doing.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, giving you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 (1) First, reject evaluations and labels, know what you are doing and what you want to do, and strive to do it. Don't mind other people's evaluations, live your own life. This is great because you are living out the essence of your life, living for yourself. (2) Secondly, reject labels and evaluations does not mean ignoring all voices. What we need to do may be to listen to them and make improvements if necessary. Absorb the beneficial aspects and reject the dross. If we choose to shield ourselves from the voices just because we want to be ourselves, then we may become stubborn and unyielding. (3) Finally, the correct way to reject labels and evaluations is that I am willing to listen to your voice, but I can remain unperturbed by flattery or criticism, and just smile and move on. Facing it with an open and inclusive mindset may be more helpful for personal growth and breaking down the walls in our hearts. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16345 + }, + { + "question": "Not studying and often getting angry, feeling useless...", + "description": "I feel very useless. Mom and Dad give me the best, but I don't study and often lose my temper. I have a bad temper and sometimes can't control myself. My mom fainted three times and I feel worthless. Sometimes I think about death, but I think of my dad, mom, and brother. I'm worried that if I die, will my mom faint again? So I let go of the idea of suicide. But sometimes I still wish to die because of the pressure to study. I don't want to study because of the stress and our poor family conditions. I feel really guilty for always asking for things. But every time I feel better, I lose control of my temper again. My mom is so good to me, but I treat her like this...", + "keywords": "Emotion, guilt and shame, emotion regulation, fragile and tears.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "~You mentioned: 1. From your message, I can see that you love your family very much and feel grateful for their care and love. However, you feel regretful and self-blaming for not being capable enough. 2. You want to study well and not let down the expectations of your family, but you also feel overwhelmed by the pressure and find it difficult to continue studying. Here are some analysis and suggestions: 1. Firstly, your emotional state is not good, which is not conducive to your studying. You need to adjust your emotional state first. In this regard, you can seek help from a school counselor or a psychological consultant. Professionals can give you more specific advice. 2. Do not resent yourself. Your family loves you very much, and they will be happy as long as you take care of yourself. Learning, fundamentally speaking, is for your own future. Your family hopes that you will have more choices and a smoother future, rather than aiming to boast about your achievements. Therefore, do not prioritize your family above your studies, as it will only create negative pressure and hinder your ability to adjust your studying state. 3. Avoidance is not the solution to the problem. You need to actively address the problem and bravely confront negative emotions. This is how you can live up to your family's love and expectations. Keep it up (\u0e07\u2022_\u2022)\u0e07! I hope you can overcome the darkness soon. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 91, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 91, + "end": 102, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 102, + "end": 172, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 172, + "end": 294, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 294, + "end": 342, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 342, + "end": 361, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 361, + "end": 367, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 4411 + }, + { + "question": "Do men dislike it when they ask women to apologize because they are not close?", + "description": "Not familiar, what psychological factors lead to a boy demanding an apology from a girl?", + "keywords": "Romance, affection.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "[Phenomenology of Society] Based on your explanation, a male causing a female to apologize can be classified as either \"culpable type\" or \"provocative type\". With the socialist values of fairness, justice, equality, and integrity as the foundation of the party and government, if one party commits a culpable act that causes harm, the other party must apologize unconditionally. However, your explanation did not mention the specific situation, so it is categorized as the provocative type [bullying]. This type of situation often occurs in schools, where acting cool and showing off is more likely to gain attention, deliberately provoking or using coercion and temptation to make the other party give in, and even generate resentment. The other type is extreme bullying, where one believes in male chauvinism and wants to see the other party angry, crying, or in a state of panic and fear in order to satisfy their so-called pride, deriving pleasure from the other party's suffering. Recommendation: With the progress of society, the era of \"male superiority, female inferiority\" no longer exists. Therefore, women should learn to protect themselves, learn to say no, and inform friends, family, teachers, etc. They can also defend their legitimate rights and interests through the law to avoid persecution. Hope this can be helpful to you, thank you for your question!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16521 + }, + { + "question": "25-year-old woman, nothing particularly happened, just simply doesn't want to live?", + "description": "There hasn't been anything particular that happened, but I just don't want to live... I don't feel like eating, and I don't want to take my depression medication or contact my therapist. I have no energy, even typing these words feels exhausting. I simply don't want to live...", + "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, emotion regulation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, do you have seen a psychologist? Have you been diagnosed with depression? If so, anti-depressant medication and therapy with a counselor will be helpful for you, don't give up. Perhaps, it may not be easy for you to gather up the courage and spirit to seek counseling, but you need to push yourself and not easily give up on yourself. Things often fall into two categories: things that are easy and things that are right. The right things are often not easy. You say that you simply don't want to live, but since you have come here to ask for help, it may indicate that deep inside your heart, there is still a will to survive. It is this will that has brought you here. In order to not let this will to survive go in vain, don't easily give up seeking help and treatment. Imagine, after a period of time, when you get through this phase and can restore a calm and healthy mindset, when you can feel the beauty of life, at that time, you will surely be thankful to yourself for not giving up now. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14987 + }, + { + "question": "Father's emotions are constantly changing, and he has tendencies to kill animals. What should I do?", + "description": "I am over 20 years old, and my family can hardly take care of any living things because my father's moods are unpredictable. He often gets angry and throws things around. Today, he put the turtle we kept at home into a plastic bag (he stayed calm and composed throughout the entire process, knowing what he was doing), and threw it off the balcony of our high-rise apartment. I tried to stop him but failed, and witnessed the whole thing. I wonder if this situation indicates a tendency for him to become even more out of control... However, he is usually very polite in front of others, and although he has unpredictable mood swings towards our family, he has never mistreated us. (In addition, I am a girl, and when I was young, I was often beaten and scolded because I couldn't solve math problems. I still have scars from that time, and I'm not sure if this counts as early signs of violent tendencies. But in China, it is considered normal for parents to hit and scold their children, even though this form of education is very distorted).", + "keywords": "Behavior, violence, aggression, control", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, you are worried about your father's abnormal emotions and fearful of more extreme behavior. The teacher understands your current state of mind. Your father may not think his behavior is inappropriate, as he may not have any other way to vent his anger and can only take it out on small animals. However, he may regret and blame himself afterward. As his child, it's understandable that you are anxious about this situation. It may be difficult to persuade your father as this is his usual way of dealing with negative emotions. He can only change when he realizes the need for change himself. As for the background of family education, you mentioned it very well. In China, it was common for parents to physically punish their children, and it became the norm. It has influenced countless children in an unfortunate way. Fortunately, people in China have now recognized the importance of education models and are working to change the current situation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20684 + }, + { + "question": "High school students, feel like can't study anymore, just want to aimlessly live each day?", + "description": "Initially, I was doing very well in middle school. However, during the high school entrance examination, I mistakenly applied to the wrong school, and due to some poor performance, I was not able to get into the best provincial key school and ended up in a regular high school. Since then, I have not been motivated to study. I am currently in my first year of high school, and my performance in monthly and mid-term exams has been mediocre, especially in math where I am among the lowest in my grade. Gradually, I have lost interest and motivation in studying. I have tried to push myself for the sake of my parents and to make up for the regret of the high school entrance examination, but it has not been effective. I have read many inspirational articles and books, but they have not helped either. My study time is limited to only during school, and sometimes I don't even feel like paying attention in class. When I get home, I just want to space out, look at my phone, or go to sleep. I used to review and preview my lessons in middle school, but not anymore. Some people have told me that maybe high school subjects are more difficult and there is a lot more to learn, but I feel like I might have entered a state of aversion to learning. I simply don't want to put effort into solving problems or listening attentively; I just want to live aimlessly. I am very worried and anxious. Feeling this empty every day makes me feel helpless. I want to ask if anyone else has experienced this and also request some help. Thank you.", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and studying.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "You now have a feeling of aversion towards learning, for two reasons: first, because you haven't yet moved on from the disappointment of the high school entrance exam and still mind it a lot; second, because you haven't understood the true purpose and meaning of studying, thinking it is for the sake of your parents. When we are full of confidence and encounter failure in a challenging task, our thoughts and understanding change, our confidence is greatly undermined, and we begin to doubt ourselves and lose the courage to continue the challenge. We use avoidance as a way to evade challenges and maintain our self-esteem. You used to study well and had confidence in yourself, but the high school entrance exam didn't go well, and you ended up in a regular high school. The gap between where you originally believed and pursued in your mind and the reality of entering a regular high school is huge, causing a great sense of disappointment. You may also doubt if your own studying is not good enough and your abilities are lacking. Therefore, during your time in regular high school, you still refuse to accept reality, which is also an evasion of the idea that your studying and abilities are not good enough, and a way to maintain your self-esteem - because I didn't work hard to study, that's why my grades are not good, it's not a problem with my abilities. This subconsciousness makes you unwilling to actively engage in studying, but you still pretend to be committed to studying in order to justify it to your parents. The idea of studying \"for your parents\" also indicates that deep down you see studying as something that you have to do for your parents and others, instead of realizing that studying should actually be done for yourself. This incorrect cognition and motivation cannot support your actions for a long time, and you cannot find genuine interest and motivation for studying. Therefore, you always find it difficult to take proactive action and stay committed to studying. So, you need to adjust your mindset and face and reevaluate the matter of studying. First, accept the fact of the high school entrance exam results and understand that your performance at the time was abnormal, but it has already passed. An occasional abnormal performance cannot indicate your level of studying and abilities. You need to learn to accept and face failure, and allow yourself to fail as part of life experience. Then, you need to reconsider the core question: what is studying for? Is it for your parents? Then how can you, as the subject of studying, acquire the initiative for studying? Ultimately, studying is for yourself, to improve your knowledge, enhance skills, make yourself stronger, and have the ability to take control of your own life and future. If you are studying \"for your parents\" now, then in the future, are you also going to live \"for your parents\"? Where are you, in all of this? Perhaps your self-esteem also prevents you from thinking highly of regular high school and accepting that you can only go there to study. But through these exams, you can only rank in the middle, which also shows that there are better students in regular high school with higher academic abilities than you. So, what right do you have to look down on it? If you can't even compare to the students in regular high school, how can you consider yourself \"good at studying\"? If you believe that your level of studying is higher than regular high school, then how do you prove it? These questions are harshly realistic, and avoiding them will not solve the problem, but only make it harder for you to escape reality. How you view yourself, how you view studying, how you view regular high school - you need to think through and understand all of this for yourself. No matter how much others encourage you or motivate you, it will be difficult to make you willing to take action. The meaning of studying and the motivation to strive for it all need to be comprehended and rediscovered by yourself, and you must prove yourself again. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP:~~ First of all, just because you attended a prestigious high school doesn't mean you will perform well in the college entrance exam. Some students who are in accelerated classes in high school end up with lower grades than students in regular classes. It seems that because you think you didn't get into a good school, you have started to doubt yourself, feeling that you are worthless and that it affects your ability to grasp and accept knowledge. It is indeed a great blow when we underperform, leading to a loss of motivation and enjoyment in studying. However, a regular high school environment may be better than a prestigious one. Although the academic atmosphere may not be as intense as in a prestigious high school, the pressure is also much less. If you were in a prestigious high school, you would find that the people around you are more talented, and the impact would be much greater when you make mistakes. The same teachers and the same learning environment, why are those students excellent while you are not? It's better to be in a less competitive learning environment where you can at least spend time doing things unrelated to studying. Cultivating an interest is very important, and it's not just for the sake of the college entrance exam. You need to accept your imperfections and embrace your current situation. After all, you have the courage to face high school life, which is already remarkable.\u2014\u2014\u2014If you want to play, then play wholeheartedly. When it's time to study, study earnestly. The efforts you are making now are all for the sake of doing what you love in the future. Balance work and leisure, and you will go further. If you don't want to do homework at home, then make sure you absorb the knowledge in class and do your homework well. This way, when you get home, you can play to your heart's content because what the teacher taught in class is enough for you to grasp and apply, without needing any additional \"topping\". Don't aim for outstanding grades, being in the upper-middle range is enough. The more you rush to improve your scores, the worse the results will be. Instead of worrying about whether to aim for Peking University or Tsinghua University, it's better to choose a school where you can achieve the required scores with a little more effort. If there are any writing or science competitions in your school, you must actively participate. This will allow you to showcase your strengths, enhance your influence, improve your physical fitness, and develop resilience. Doing things unrelated to studying may not stimulate your brain, but it will definitely nourish your soul. The college entrance exam is a marathon, not a sprint. There's no need to exhaust all your energy at once. You can break down big goals into smaller ones and implement them step by step. Progress may not be particularly noticeable, but the cumulative benefits are very optimistic. Give yourself some time to adapt to high school life, to have fun, to be playful, and to use your scientific knowledge to create crafts. The knowledge in subjects like physics, chemistry, and biology may be difficult, but experiments can be very interesting. Memorizing knowledge in language and social sciences may be challenging, but once you learn it, you can become a tour guide, historian, or political debater. When you learn English, you can communicate with foreigners, sing English songs you like, and watch English movies without relying on subtitles. Mastering language arts allows you to write poems like Li Bai and Du Fu, or be a good screenwriter. As for mathematics, it's mostly about logical thinking and math problem solving. Don't over-schedule yourself. Based on your current situation, passing is the most important thing. When the time is right, you can aim for higher goals. Don't forget, even in the dark night, the stars and moon are always with you. Once you get through it, the sun of tomorrow will still rise as scheduled.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4037 + }, + { + "question": "There is a student who is extremely self-conscious and is afraid to express themselves. What should be done?", + "description": "A student feels very inferior and thinks they cannot do anything well, and is afraid to express themselves.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your question and I was wondering if you are a teacher or a parent. But I think you are more likely to be a teacher. If you are a teacher, I am glad that you care about the mental health of your students. You are truly a good teacher. If you are a parent, you are a good parent for being able to understand your child's inner feelings. Students in adolescence are prone to developing low self-esteem if they have poor grades or face setbacks in other aspects. Students with low self-esteem may feel inferior to others in every way. They may feel helpless, pessimistic, and disappointed, even giving up easily on things that could be easily achieved with a little effort. This will have a very negative impact on their learning, interpersonal relationships, and future growth if not properly guided. 1. Criticize less and praise more. Behind every student with low self-esteem is a set of strict parents. They criticize, blame, and ridicule their child for even the smallest mistakes. The fragile heart of a student cannot bear so much criticism and blame. Only through more praise can students increase their self-confidence and strive towards higher goals. 2. Help students have a comprehensive understanding and evaluate themselves correctly. Guide them to have a correct understanding and evaluation of themselves, and not to overlook even the smallest positive aspects. Then compare themselves with their peers. Through a comprehensive and dialectical view of their own situation, they can realize that no one can be perfect, and a person's value is mainly reflected in achieving attainable goals through their own efforts. Take a rational attitude towards their weaknesses and failures, and face reality with a positive attitude, so that low self-esteem loses its breeding ground. 3. Encourage students to make up for weaknesses and play to their strengths. In every class, there are bound to be students with poor academic performance or other shortcomings, and these students may feel a certain degree of low self-esteem. My advice to them is that when they realize that they have some deficiencies or are not as good as others in certain areas, they should work hard to make up for their shortcomings and take the \"slow and steady wins the race\" approach. Success naturally eliminates low self-esteem. 4. Encourage positive interactions with others. Most people with low self-esteem are introverted and not sociable. They isolate themselves. Psychologists believe that when a person is alone, their psychological activities turn inward, focusing on themselves. If someone with low self-esteem spends a long time alone, their psychological activities become narrow and limited, and their personal understanding becomes limited as well, causing their psychological activities to become one-sided. They only see their shortcomings and neglect their strengths, thus falling into deep self-doubt and unable to break free from it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1523 + }, + { + "question": "Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the other half's parents always target me?", + "description": "The parents of my partner always target me. This morning, after my partner left, his parents came out. I was having a meal with my child, and they were like ghosts, expressionless and without saying a word. There was fear in my child's eyes. I continued eating with my child, while my father-in-law caused a ruckus in the canteen. They either didn't speak or spoke angrily. I argued with my partner, and they teamed up to make trouble for me. I asked myself to calm down, but they kept bothering me. I am exhausted from their treatment towards me. I can't accept it. Then my anxiety disorder flared up yesterday, causing me great pain. It has been six years since we got married, and they have always treated me like this, never considering me part of the family. I feel a coldness in my heart and really want a divorce, but I am afraid of hurting the child. However, the atmosphere they create at home on a daily basis has a negative impact on the child. My in-laws are ordinary city residents, uneducated and lacking in manners. It's too painful. They don't give any consideration to the elderly's rest. Besides having a bad temper, my partner doesn't do anything else. I am in great pain. How can I adjust myself if I want to leave this broken family?", + "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, marriage management, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, son-in-law.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Host, hello~~~ First, give the host a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. The host's parents-in-law always target the host in life. 2. The other half is also unwilling to participate in these issues, only knowing how to get angry and stand by. [A little analysis and suggestions] 1. If family relationships are not handled well, these problems may exist for a lifetime. The relationship between the host and the parents-in-law ultimately needs to be regulated by the husband. If the husband is unwilling to mediate and take on his own responsibilities, it will be difficult for the host as a daughter-in-law to reach a consensus with the parents-in-law. 2. Try to communicate and negotiate with the husband to solve these problems, clearly telling him the host's concerns, the importance of the child's well-being, and the family atmosphere. If it is really impossible to resolve, consider divorcing the husband and living alone with the child. Maybe it is really difficult to judge which option is better, and divorce is not an option to be ignored. If necessary, the host can also consider the child's opinion, ask about the child's heartfelt thoughts, and ask if the child is willing to live in such an environment. I hope this helps the host.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13581 + }, + { + "question": "It seems like I have developed feelings for a girl in the game, but I am also afraid that it may not be genuine.", + "description": "I am a 19-year-old (freshman) girl who met a 17-year-old (high school junior) girl in a game. We have known each other for about a month and a half in the game, and we went from being mentor and apprentice to being in a romantic relationship. She seems to really enjoy being with me, always going along with everything I say. She tells me every day how much she likes me, and she is always available whenever I need her. She even wants to buy me gifts for holidays. I am a skeptical and insecure person who has very few close friends, but she makes me feel safe. I feel like I have become somewhat dependent on her. I find myself wanting to know what she's doing every day, and the game is no longer enjoyable without her. She told me before that she depends on me, and I feel like we have the same mindset. I always have this feeling that I like her and want to be with her in real life as well. I want to hold her face and kiss her and things like that. However, I also feel like this might just be my imagination, and that we are only friends. I don't know if I really like her or not. She was originally planning to quit the game, but she stayed because she wanted to be with me. I am a bit scared that she might leave. What kind of relationship are we in right now? Distance creates beautiful fantasies, but I am afraid that reality will be hard for us to accept. I feel a bit sad and don't know how to deal with these thoughts.", + "keywords": "Love, affection.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your concerns. I understand that you met a girl in the game who seems to be very into you. She tells you every day that she likes you and that she depends on you. In real life, you are sensitive and often overthink things, and you don't have many friends. Her enthusiasm and warmth make you feel secure and needed, but you are unsure about the nature of your relationship with her. You are afraid that reality may not accept it, and this is causing you a lot of pain. Perhaps the conflicting feelings come from the fact that you feel you like her and fantasize about a closer relationship, but you are afraid that she only sees you as a friend and you fear rejection. It may also be because you think that developing love between people of the same sex is more difficult. She is just a 17-year-old high school student and there are many uncertainties in her future, so you think that these thoughts are just your own illusions. You tell yourself that you are just friends in order to suppress and deny your feelings for her, and this is causing you a lot of pain. Some suggestions: Regarding this issue, you can try to have a deep conversation with her and honestly express your opinions about this relationship. See if there are any discrepancies. Any conclusion based solely on your feelings may not be reliable. The sadness you currently feel is based on the difficulties you imagine, and you believe that you cannot overcome them. You anticipate negative emotions from an unfavorable outcome. However, without getting a clear response from her and seeing it reflected in her actions, there is no concrete evidence to prove that the result will be as bad as you imagine. Therefore, the best way to deal with these thoughts is to test them through practical actions. Even if you receive negative feedback in the end, it will be helpful for you to make the next decision and not waste your energy on subjective assumptions. Focus on solving the problem, and I believe it will be more helpful for you. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Given the current situation, the impression we have of each other is mostly based on the interactions we have had online, so it is difficult to determine if we are truly compatible in the long run. Additionally, there are many variables in life that can change our circumstances. Therefore, it may be best to maintain this pleasant friendship for now, and let other things unfold with time and circumstances. Based on the information provided, it seems that we are at least similar in terms of personality type, which allows us to have many common topics to discuss and depend on each other to some extent. However, it is unclear whether this is purely a friendship or something more romantic, as it is difficult to assess without actually spending time together. Meeting each other is a matter of fate, and if we were to choose to give up directly, neither of us would be happy about it. Therefore, it would be better to maintain good communication, and face and solve any problems together. As for other matters, we can leave them to time, as it will eventually reveal the answer. Nevertheless, we should also understand that if either of us meets someone who captures our hearts in the future, or if we no longer have the same feelings as now, we shouldn't be too surprised. Just like interesting souls, we have simply encountered someone with whom we share many common topics at a certain point in time. Some things change as we grow and gain experiences, so we should not limit ourselves to the confines of our current relationship. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, regardless of whether it's friendship or love, we all develop a certain level of dependency, which is a normal behavior. You guys got to know each other through gaming and developed feelings for each other. However, now you're struggling with determining what kind of feelings you have for her. In light of this, I would like to give you a few suggestions that I hope can help you. Take a courageous first step: Since both of you cherish this relationship, take a bold step and meet in person. Whether it's friendship or love, your first step is to transition from online to real-life interaction, getting to know each other in a more genuine and precise manner, and see if you truly connect in the same way in person as you do online, and then further develop the relationship. Re-evaluate your relationship while spending time together: The boundary between friendship and romantic partner is not clear for you, and you're unable to determine the nature of your feelings towards each other. It's unnecessary to worry too much about it. Spend time together in real life, re-evaluate your feelings, and bravely face your inner self. Don't let external factors interfere too much: Our feelings are pure and genuine, as long as we treat each other with sincerity and believe in the power of love. Whatever kind of feelings it may be, they deserve to be respected and understood, and they are valid. In interpersonal relationships, communication and maintaining them well are of utmost importance. Good communication can help us solve various problems encountered in interpersonal relationships, facilitate a better understanding of each other, and make the bond closer. Nurturing a relationship can make it last longer and become more stable. Confront your inner self, dare to try, take that first step courageously, don't leave yourself with regrets, and cherish every relationship. Your personal mental health counselor by your side. May my words bring warmth to you! Also, thank you for occasionally passing by and reading, please feel free to follow me and click \"Helpful\"!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. From your description, I can feel that both you and that girl have feelings for each other! Why don't you clarify your relationship with her? Are you afraid of meeting that girl and finding out that she is different from what you imagined... disappointing you? Or are you afraid that after clarifying your feelings, you won't be good enough, and can't be with the girl for a long time? Or is it some other reason? You need to ask yourself what you are afraid of, and then ask yourself why you are afraid... You both have common interests, and the girl also cares about your feelings. She even told you that she likes you and refused to cancel the trip for you. She is a girl who bravely pursues love. So ask yourself again: what am I afraid of? What is preventing me from confessing? What is stopping me from facing it? Please tell me the answer from your \"inner self\"! Let's explore that \"shy\" side of you together.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Liking and getting close to someone is a normal reaction for you right now because you feel very lonely inside. However, she is not the person who can fulfill your emotional needs, only partially satisfy them. Although it seems that both of you get along well at the moment, there are still many hidden dangers and it may not be worth continuing. In fact, your real problem is how to expand your social circle, meet more people, and eventually encounter someone who truly satisfies you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I understand and embrace you. Because I also have a girl I have a crush on online, she cares about my life a lot. At the same time, her first love was with a girl, and they met in an online relationship, but they broke up later, which is not a big deal. Do you know that I am bisexual? After understanding both boys and girls, I know what I want. After gaining more experiences and thoughts, the original poster can have a clearer understanding of this relationship. The greatest generosity for the future is to dedicate everything to the present. \ud83e\udd70.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's true that the feelings towards each other are real. I suggest you enjoy the present moment. This kind of pure interaction between each other is rare. If both of you are happy, continue to play together. If one wants to leave, do not try too hard to hold on. If the other person doesn't initiate anything further, just maintain the same pace. After all, too many good feelings fade away when exposed to the light, whether virtual or real. Cherish the wonderful feelings and I recommend not taking it too seriously, but also keep a beautiful expectation for miracles. Have fun :).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3531 + }, + { + "question": "My previously close friend deleted me because I stood them up. How do I reconcile our friendship?", + "description": "A previous close friend of mine. She deleted me because I missed an appointment. We haven't been in contact since. I saw her today and it made me want to mend things with her even more. I even wonder if we can be friends again, if not as close as before. But I don't know how to approach her. Perhaps she has changed since then. And I don't know how she sees me now. Today, I went out with a classmate, and we were holding hands. She noticed us right away and said to the person beside her, \"Look, they're holding hands. I want that too.\" I feel like she still has feelings for me, but I really don't know how we can reconcile.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there, giving you a warm hug~ I can sense that you really cherish this friendship. When the other person deleted you, you might have felt at a loss and unsure of how to repair your relationship. The reason the other person deleted you was because you didn't show up for your appointment, and to him, punctuality is important. He may also feel that you don't respect his time and possibly even his emotions, so he might think you're not an important friend. From this perspective, it's possible that he misunderstood you. You can find a time to talk to him about the missed appointment, share your thoughts, and how you value his emotions. If you want to reconcile with him and you can sense that he's not completely indifferent towards you, then you can try taking the first step. It doesn't mean apologizing or discussing the situation makes you a bad person. Precisely because you cherish this friendship, you are eager to seek reconciliation. Best wishes~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18589 + }, + { + "question": "22-year-old male wants to get back together with me, what should I do?", + "description": "After breaking up with my boyfriend, I was quite devastated. Sometimes I even need to take sedatives to fall asleep. He is begging me to get back together, but I don't want to repeat the same mistakes. He keeps apologizing and saying that he is not good enough for me. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, and managing relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hug the OP. Although I don't know the reason behind the OP's breakup with the ex-boyfriend, I can feel that the OP is a kind person and is worried that the ex-boyfriend may be deeply affected by the breakup. The OP mentioned being afraid of repeating the same mistakes, I'm not sure exactly what that refers to, is it the fear of another breakup? I think the OP should set aside other irrelevant factors and consider whether they actually want to get back together with the ex-boyfriend. The fact that the ex-boyfriend is seeking reconciliation and the OP is now conflicted about whether to reconcile indicates that both options have pros and cons. Choosing to get back together may be because the OP still has feelings for the ex-boyfriend, but there are also concerns about the possibility of breaking up again. Choosing not to get back together means the OP won't have to go through being abandoned again, but they may also struggle to let go of the ex-boyfriend. In fact, there is not only these two options, there is also a third option, which is to observe the ex-boyfriend's changes and see if they last for a period of time before making a decision. For example, when the ex-boyfriend asks for reconciliation, the OP can respond like this: Actually, I'm not sure if I want to get back together with you yet, but the previous breakup did hurt me, so I can't give you an answer right away; if you really still like me, we can be friends for now, and I won't start a new relationship in the short term; after some time, when I have a clear idea, I will tell you my answer. I suggest you also seriously consider it, give yourself some time to cool down, if you really are sure that you like me, you can pursue me again. But no matter what the outcome may be, I hope we can face it calmly and accept it willingly. By responding in this way, it gives the ex-boyfriend a chance to reconcile and also provides both the OP and the ex-boyfriend with a chance to cool down. If the ex-boyfriend really can make some changes, then the OP can choose to resume the romantic relationship after the ex-boyfriend has changed. If the ex-boyfriend is not willing to make an effort, or gives up after just a few days, then the OP won't be hurt again, it's a win-win. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18240 + }, + { + "question": "\"Why do some girls not use the first-person pronoun 'I' when thinking and speaking?\"", + "description": "High school girl, somewhat introverted, not accustomed to using the first-person pronoun \"I\" when speaking, prefers to refer to herself by her nickname \"Yao Yao\". Furthermore, she also uses \"Yao Yao\" as the first-person pronoun when thinking. While we find it difficult to accept using \"Yao Yao\" as a self-reference in our consciousness, she finds it difficult to accept using \"I\". Why is this?", + "keywords": "Behavior, confusion", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I use a nickname for myself, and there may be three reasons for this. First, girls may use nicknames to express a cute and likable image. For example, \"I think...\" or \"Well, Yaoyao thinks...\" (Yes, at this time, you should add some interjections and expressions.) However, not everyone does this, mostly it's with close friends or family members. Second, another reason may be that the girl's mother used to call her by this nickname when she was a child. So, in certain situations, we might \"regress\" to our childhood state. Although it may seem a bit immature, actually everyone tends to regress in some way in certain situations, such as being coquettish with loved ones, etc. This is also a way for us to seek love. However, in most cases, we only regress in a safe environment, which is what we call \"Being an adult in the storm and a child under the sun.\" The third situation is a feeling of slight emotional isolation. By not using \"I,\" it seems like we are isolating ourselves, giving a protective feeling, like we are talking about a third person. For example, \"I think this matter is not good...\" or \"Yaoyao thinks this matter is not good...\" By not saying \"I,\" it seems like we won't face as much pressure. Of course,", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Actually, you know, we humans don't start out using the first-person pronoun \"I\" when we first start talking. When we are very young, we learn to speak in the tone of adults when expressing our thoughts, saying things like \"Baby wants this\" or \"Baby is unhappy\" ... At this stage, we can't realize that we are separate individuals. The use of the pronouns 'you,' 'I,' and 'he' is a milestone in the development of self-awareness. Getting used to being called \"Yaoyao\" can also be understood as her unwillingness to grow up. She is accustomed to identifying herself with the nickname given to her by others, rather than expressing herself with a very strong subjective awareness of 'I'. Objectively speaking, her psychological state is very immature.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation! I would like to ask, what is your relationship with this girl? If you are the parent of this high school girl, you should know what kind of environment she grew up in when she was a child. Was she a left-behind child? Were her parents not close to her? She has been using a nickname since she was young, especially when she is thinking, she refers to herself as \"Yao Yao,\" as if lacking self-awareness. In her mind, \"Yao Yao\" is a separate entity from herself. This child, \"Yao Yao,\" has been stuck in a certain stage of her childhood and refuses to grow up. During that stage, there may have been some unpleasant or memorable events, her important person who often called her \"Yao Yao\" may have left or not given her the love she deserves, her caregiver may have been emotionally indifferent or irritable, all of which may have caused her to develop self-pity and self-love thoughts. Additionally, she takes on the role of a protector, someone she imagines should love and protect her, taking care of this little person, \"Yao Yao.\" The protector she imagines could be her father, mother, grandparents, or other important caregivers. However, \"I\" am nowhere to be found. She is unwilling to find \"I\" and only sees the need to protect \"Yao Yao\" in her heart. If someone who is greatly loved often refers to themselves using a nickname to gain favor, then someone with an introverted personality who refers to themselves using a nickname and cannot integrate themselves in their thoughts surely has experienced trauma. This trauma occurred during childhood and is related to a lack or loss of love. Think about what happened to her when she was young? If you are the parent of this girl, I also want to mention that it seems like there is not much intimacy between you. If that is the case, it is also one of the reasons for her lack of love. Of course, this is just a personal analysis and may not be correct. Perhaps there are many hidden truths that are difficult to speak about, and it is understandable if you do not want to say too much. To find the real reason, we would need more detailed information. Goodnight!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm sending my regards to your friend as well. \ud83e\udd17\ufe0f First of all, you must be good friends with this girl. You seem to enjoy getting to know her and want to help her. You mentioned that she is introverted. Many people have biases against introversion and think it is a thousand times worse than extroversion. Introverted people are not as expressive, but actually, for introverted people, it's enough to know about the beauty of the world without having to shout it out loud. Although they are not as active as their extroverted friends, they have sharper intuition and are good at handling things calmly and adaptively in times of crisis. As for using nicknames instead of 'I', it is actually their way of self-expression toward the outside world. Introverted people like to follow their inner feelings and don't care about others. They mostly enjoy being alone, talking to themselves, and know how to be in their own company, drawing energy from solitude. It's a comfortable way of life they have chosen for themselves. Your friend likes to communicate with herself and think about problems in the third person, and there are benefits to this as well. Communicating in the third person shows that she can consider perspectives of others and take their feelings into account. Moreover, thinking in the third person allows for a more rational approach and gives space for deeper contemplation before taking action. Introverted people often prefer to play the role of spectators. They are not good with words and fear exposure. They have delicate and sensitive emotions, but they also have their own brilliance. There is an old saying in China, \"The highest mountain is silent, and still waters run deep.\" They will grow strong in silence! They will feel the care and concern from friends around them. Take care!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! The issue you described about the little girl has sparked my thinking, and I'd like to share my thoughts with you here: \nThe girl's behavior: 1. Not used to referring to herself as \"I\". 2. Used to referring to herself as \"Yao Yao\" in the third person, even when thinking alone. 3. Introverted personality. \nPossible reasons for this behavior: If the girl is simply used to calling herself \"Yao Yao,\" it could be a temporary influence from characters in movies or books, or even just a habit she developed. However, based on your description, her condition seems more severe as she resists using the first person \"I\" to refer to herself, even when alone in her own thoughts, she still uses \"Yao Yao\" to confirm her own existence. Possible causes of this issue: 1. Family influence: The family is the child's first environment for growth, and the family environment and education have a subtle influence on a person. People often accept their family's influence as a given. There are two possibilities: either the girl's parents or close relatives have such a habit, or they are lacking in this aspect during their education of the girl. Another possibility is that the girl had a negative experience in her family environment during childhood. 2. Social environment: In the process of growing up, contact with others is inevitable, including teachers, classmates, etc. In the process of interpersonal communication, it is inevitable to encounter some problems, including psychological ones. If these issues are not dealt with correctly, they can leave psychological concerns. 3. You also mentioned that the girl has an introverted personality, which indicates that she may have difficulty expressing herself in interpersonal relationships. Referring to herself as \"Yao Yao\" is like taking the perspective of another person, possibly existing as a companion. Recommendations: 1. Determine if you really mind this issue. 2. Find the root cause of the problem, that is, why this issue arises. 3. If it is indeed due to negative factors in the mind, then take appropriate measures. 4. In addition, having an optimistic and positive mindset is also very important. I hope this girl can open her heart, embrace the world with a positive and sunny attitude, and communicate with the world.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, in your question, you mentioned a high school girl who usually speaks using her nickname \"Yao Yao\" instead of \"me\". In my mind, this image emerges where Yao Yao is a little girl, and I am different from her. I am like an onlooker, watching Yao Yao. Is she envious of Yao Yao's life? Or does she hope to be treated like Yao Yao? What kind of emotions is she expressing to the people around her by using the name Yao Yao? Or is she longing for something or trying to convey something by using the name Yao Yao? After listening to your description, I am particularly curious about this girl. What has she experienced in her growth process that makes it difficult for her to integrate \"me and Yao Yao\" well? Has she had any experiences that prevent her from expressing \"me\" or dare not express \"me\"? Does she have any siblings? What kind of impact do her relationships with her parents and her upbringing environment have on her? If we want to understand a person, perhaps we need to listen more to their inner world, pay attention to their emotions, and understand the environment in which they grew up. It is difficult for us to completely understand a person's behavior or traits through our own speculations and guesses because even an ordinary life is a limited edition. Theories may help us understand a person's behavior from different perspectives, but ultimately, the person standing in front of us in real life gives us the answers. Their joys, angers, sorrows, sadness, and pain guide us in finding the direction to the answers. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm not sure if you are Yao Yao or if your visit is related to Yao Yao. I don't like to refer to myself as \"I\", I prefer using my name, Yao Yao, to address myself. There is a term in psychology called fixation, where the object self and the subject self are not well separated during the process of childhood development. This phenomenon is normal in children around the age of two. Kids express themselves by saying things like \"Yao Yao did this and that,\" as if evaluating themselves from someone else's perspective. High school students should have passed this stage, but if they still retain this characteristic, it is necessary to observe, ask family members, and understand their upbringing to find out what happened during the fixation stage. There is also a term called regression, if this behavior has only appeared recently and was normal before, organic lesions should be ruled out. It is important to understand the source of stimuli and whether their self-awareness, self-evaluation, and self-perception are consistent internally and externally. Seeking help from professionals is advised. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, here is my response, hope it can help you~ Based on this short description, I didn't see any significant issues~ It seems like it's just a matter of habit. I went through a period of time where my friends and I would call each other by code names or nicknames, and after a while, I started referring to myself with those code names as well. Also, there are many internet slang terms that are more suitable to refer to oneself with code names, which gives a cute impression. If there are any other peculiar or more serious issues, please provide a more detailed description.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "From your description, this girl tends to use the third person in both her way of expression and inner thoughts. Because she does not stand out in any particular form or specific environment. So any psychology is possible, or it may just be her way of expression that makes her most comfortable. It is too arbitrary to judge someone's psychology solely based on their way of speaking. And trying to classify and interpret a person according to a specific psychological type is lazy in a relationship. If you really want to understand, why not directly ask her, after all, she is the only one who knows the truth. Otherwise, any interpretation is just imagination about her. If she herself cannot understand why she has such a psychological inclination. Trace it back to her surrounding environment, significant people who have a major influence on her, her interests, and many other aspects. In short, to understand her, you can only understand it from herself and should not speculate too much.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14976 + }, + { + "question": "Unsatisfied with the blind date partner, always hesitating, how should one choose when it comes to dating?", + "description": "Mature women, many people around me are getting married, which makes me very anxious. I have had many blind dates, but I have rejected those who contacted me, and those who didn't contact me are not possible. Every time someone contacts me, I can always find their flaws, such as being uncommunicative or having poor conditions, which makes me a bit pessimistic. I want to find someone who is optimistic and can handle things lightly, who can give me advice when I encounter difficulties, but I haven't met anyone like that. I just want to be happy together with someone, but some people just complain about their own misfortunes as soon as we meet, which really annoys me. Is it really so tiring to find a partner? I used to always think the next one would be better, but there hasn't been a perfect match, regardless of conditions, compatibility, or personality. Nowadays, I sometimes suffer from insomnia and hair loss due to the immense pressure. I keep hesitating because I am not satisfied with the blind date candidates, and then I end up rejecting them. What should I do? I'm on the verge of depression.", + "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, give the host a warm hug. As we reach a certain age, it seems that people become anxious. If one hasn't found a suitable marriage partner within a certain age range, they will be urged and criticized by those around them, and they will have to bear a lot of pressure. When we have too many thoughts, it is often easy to forget our initial intentions when it comes to love. I hope my answer can help you make better choices and deal with the troubles in your future relationships. 1. Age is not a problem. As a mature woman, it is clear from your description that you are very concerned about your age. Therefore, the first thing you need to do to get rid of the anxiety caused by age is to adjust your mindset. You need to believe that age is not a problem in order to calmly face the invisible pressure imposed by age and continue to look for a partner based on your original intentions, rather than succumbing to age pressure and hastily finding someone to love in a specific age range. \"Many people around me are getting married\" only means that those around you have been a little luckier, as they found love earlier. But this is not something you should worry about. The lives of those around you, whether they are good or bad, is their own business. You are you, you have your own life to live, and there is no need to be influenced by the life trajectories of others. 2. Ask yourself what you want. I have been on many blind dates, rejecting those who contacted me, and those who didn't contact me were not possible to pursue. Whenever someone contacts me, I always manage to find their shortcomings. They can't communicate well or their conditions are not good, which makes me a bit pessimistic. I want to find someone who is optimistic and takes everything lightly, who can give me advice when I encounter difficulties. However, I haven't met anyone who fits this description. From your description, I can see that you are also actively looking for a partner and have been on many blind dates. But I also sense your confusion. You don't seem to be clear about what kind of partner you really want. That's why you keep searching for flaws in the people you have contacted. Because even though you are in a hurry, you are also afraid of finding someone who is not good enough, wasting all these years of waiting. Dear, you are like a traveler who is walking fast but doesn't know the direction. It's hard work, but your efforts without a goal will be in vain. Find a goal first, or try to define it, and then work hard towards it. You will find that a person with a goal, even if they walk slowly, will eventually reach their destination. 3. Personal growth. Many people always have requirements for their future partners that they themselves do not possess, hoping to make up for their own deficiencies through their partners. I have had such thoughts before, but later I realized that in the end, we have to rely on ourselves in life. What you are not capable of or entitled to, you shouldn't expect from others. The principle of \"do not do to others what you would not have them do to you\" should also be applied when choosing a partner. It is a form of respect for the other person and can also help us to better discipline ourselves and grow. So, if you hope that your partner can handle things with ease, why not first try to face more challenges yourself and cultivate this valuable quality of being calm in the face of difficulties. Instead of relying on others, strive to improve yourself. Love between people is also based on mutual attraction, and those who can be mutually attracted usually possess similar qualities. So when you have the qualities you desire in a partner, you will naturally attract that type of person. Keep it up and I hope you find your ideal partner soon. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the idea behind your words seems to be the common reason why people who frequently go on blind dates are unable to find a partner, right? I wonder if it's because \"birds of a feather flock together\". After reading your description, I believe I can identify the cause of your distress. In fact, if you think about it from another perspective, you desire someone good, just like others do. It is hoped that he is optimistic, easygoing, and can help you when you encounter difficulties, but more often than not, it is someone with flaws, poor communication skills, and undesirable traits. Psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm once said, \"Love is not only limited to one person; love is our attitude towards the entire world.\" From your description, I can also see your attitude towards love. However, I want to say, do not panic just because you see others getting married, and do not get married just because you feel like you \"should\" get married. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and we have the chance and reason to find someone even better. In this process, we need to constantly improve ourselves, change our mindset, dress ourselves up, and radiate our own charm. Lu Sihao once wrote: \"The kind of person you are will determine the songs you hear, the articles you read, the words you write, and the people you meet.\" Give yourself some time so that you can live a life without regrets. All the best!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 7064 + }, + { + "question": "23-year-old girl, when I lose something, I feel very sad. What should I do to not be like this?", + "description": "When something is lost, I feel very sad. If I can't find something, I feel empty inside. It doesn't matter if it's something small like an eraser or a hair tie, or something big, once it's lost, I can't stop thinking about it and it makes me feel uneasy. Sometimes, my mind feels a bit cloudy.", + "keywords": "Behavior, control, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hug you, don't be sad. I can understand how you feel. You feel that the lost things were originally a part of you, so no matter what you lose, it feels like a loss to you. Facing loss, anyone would feel unhappy. When things are lost, do you feel out of place and insecure in life? Do you remember if you were attached to certain small items when you were a child? Have you ever heard of a term called \"\u65ad\u820d\u79bb\" (duan she li)? Its meaning is: completely severing, letting go, and cutting off unnecessary and unsuitable things, and breaking the attachment to them. \"\u65ad\" means not buying or accepting things that are not needed, \"\u820d\" means getting rid of things that are piled up at home and not used, and \"\u79bb\" means abandoning the infatuation with material possessions and creating a spacious and comfortable, free and easy space for oneself. After losing things, you are being bound by those things. Treat the lost things as garbage. Transform the passive loss into active abandonment, completely severing your attachment and concerns towards them. Think about what shortcomings those lost things have that give you the motivation to let go of them. Separate yourself from the objects in order to restore your completeness. Objects are objects, and you are you. Even the cells in our bodies undergo renewal and replacement, let alone external objects. Think if there are any other things that can replace them to avoid inconvenience. Shift your focus. You still have more important things to do. Confide in your friends. \"I've lost...again.\" Saying it out loud might make you feel better. Many people like to alleviate their sadness by doing housework and incidentally looking for lost things. If the things have significant meaning to you, you need to bid farewell to them. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I also have situations like yours. Whenever I lose something, I always feel confused and anxious. Sometimes, I even psychologically suggest that this is a bad omen and it will lead to something bad happening to me. I don't know if you have this feeling. But when you really self-suggest, even a small bad thing that happens to you will be attributed to the fact that you lost something. And then the next time you lose something, you will feel even more upset and panicked, falling into a vicious cycle. Another possibility is that losing your belongings makes you feel insecure, so you feel sad. You can look at the problem from a different perspective. Losing things is a common occurrence for everyone, and everyone loses things. Just be more careful next time. Or maybe it's just temporarily lost, and it will suddenly reappear when you don't care about it so much. Maintain an optimistic attitude. Out with the old, in with the new, right? Shift your attention to other things or other matters, and you shouldn't feel so sad. The above are just my personal opinions, for reference only. I hope it can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18568 + }, + { + "question": "Did my boyfriend's head turning in that direction indicate that he has someone else in his heart?", + "description": "Tonight, a group of friends walked home together. My boyfriend and I were walking at the back. Due to the narrow width of the road, there was a girl in front of my boyfriend who likes him. (Even though our relationship is public, my boyfriend has made it clear to me that he doesn't like that girl, but I still can't help feeling jealous sometimes.) When we reached a fork in the road and said goodbye, that girl turned right while we kept walking straight. I noticed that my boyfriend's head turned in her direction. Does he really have feelings for her or was he just looking at the road? Or am I just being too sensitive?", + "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love maintenance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Author, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, it can be understood that your boyfriend has a girl who likes him, and you sometimes get jealous and wonder if you are too sensitive. [Some analysis and suggestions] 1. It is normal for couples in the early stages of a relationship to often experience a feeling of gaining and losing, essentially because they value each other. Moreover, your boyfriend has a girl who likes him, so your thoughts are not baseless. 2. However, couples in love need to give each other enough trust for the relationship to last. Therefore, you can suspect that your boyfriend likes another girl, but you should not solely rely on this to doubt him. Through observing his daily behavior more closely and asking the opinions of familiar friends, the conclusion you reach in the end may be more objective.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18832 + }, + { + "question": "Life feels numb, always lacking flavor, lazy?", + "description": "I always feel that life has no taste, whatever I do, I have no enthusiasm, no sense of passion, struggle, or satisfaction. Days pass by lightly, but my heart feels itchy. I have something very important that requires my immediate and complete attention, but I feel lazy and unable to gather my energy. Occasionally, I make some intermittent efforts, but then I become slack again. Even a small setback that is not considered a failure can become a reason for me to give up. What should I do? I am anxious and helpless.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, meaning in life.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "One, I am constantly a person with a frowning face. Life has become even more difficult now. Especially this year. Life always loves to play cruel jokes, either it's poor health, inability to earn money, or the betrayal of love and trust by others...The list goes on. We always suffer from various worries and headaches. However, life must go on. We also need to give ourselves a little sweetness because, after all, this long journey belongs to us. Perhaps this year has been tough, but both you and I deserve to be happy today. Two, I want to share the small joys in my life with everyone, hoping that we can all find our own light. (1) Music is always a great way to heal the heart. I started learning music relatively late. My family thought I shouldn't pursue the arts, so they suppressed me. It wasn't until I grew up that I started learning to play musical instruments on my own. Music can truly make you forget about life's worries. When you immerse yourself in music, you can leave all the unhappiness behind. Whether it's the guitar or piano, the flute or the drums, there is always a type that suits you. (2) Pick up a paintbrush, and you can create something beautiful. When I'm feeling down, I enjoy painting. I casually sketch out my thoughts and ideas. In this process, the stress dissipates. You can try copying old masters or seek guidance from experts. Painting requires patience and focus. Through painting, the unhappiness in your life also disappears. When you finish your first painting, there is a great sense of accomplishment, and this happiness counteracts your sorrows. (3) Occasionally, doing some crafts and DIY projects is also enjoyable. During the pandemic, we were all stuck at home with nothing to do, and it's inevitable to feel anxious. When I was bored, I found a way to pass the time: crochet crafts. Following online tutorials, I made bags that I liked with a needle and thread. It exercises my focus and patience, while also bringing me happiness. (4) Planting vegetables and experiencing a sense of achievement. I have always been fond of Tao Yuanming's \"Returning to the Farm\", \"Caged birds long for the old forest, and the fish in the pond yearn for the old deep pool. Cutting through the virgin wilderness to the south, I return to my rustic fields and gardens.\" Due to my longing for this kind of life and the difficulties I experienced, I started my own farming life. I bought pots and soil for my balcony and built a wooden fence. When I am in a bad mood, I try planting mushrooms, green onions, cherry tomatoes, or other vegetables. The satisfaction of a good harvest is truly fulfilling. Three, if you still feel sad and helpless, then perhaps you need some psychological help. Personally, I am a mental health professional, so I hope you can consider some of my advice: Advice 1: When your mood is generally negative and pessimistic, emotions tend to take over. This is when you must learn to bring rationality to calm your mind. We need to learn to control ourselves rather than allow ourselves to become slaves to our emotions. So, when you find yourself unhappy, you must calm down and slowly return to rational thinking. When you experience negative emotions, you can try lying down and practicing deep belly breathing to lower your heart rate, which may be chaotic due to your unhappiness. Alternatively, you can try enrolling in a yoga class as yoga aims to bring peace of mind. You can also listen to soothing music to put your worries behind you. Advice 2: When you are facing unresolved issues, it's best not to go through them alone. Try confiding in someone you trust to vent your emotions. Humans have seven emotions and six desires, and when we become upset and restless, the more we isolate ourselves and sink into negative self-indulgence, the greater the risks to our mental and physical health. When you're feeling down, try talking to your friends, family, or loved ones about your frustrations and grievances. You need to release your negative emotions, and when you communicate with people who care about you, your feelings of despair will not be as strong. Advice 3: When you're in a bad mood, actively seek change. Exercise stimulates the release of dopamine and can effectively regulate your emotions. When you're feeling down, exercise can give you more mental strength. Through exercise, you can feel yourself becoming stronger, and this psychological experience will make you feel less small and helpless. When problems and pressures come back, you will be stronger. In exercise, you can release the stress in your heart and it also promotes your physical well-being. Advice 4: If you have been feeling consistently down for a long time, it is recommended that you seek psychological counseling. Unhappiness and depression may be just \"one wall apart\". If you experience persistent low moods that are resistant to any attempts to improve, it may be worth considering the possibility of a psychological problem. It is advisable to go to your local hospital for a comprehensive psychological assessment and seek the help of a psychologist. Listen to the advice of professionals and seek early detection and treatment. Four, there may be a hundred different situations that make us sad, but there may be ten thousand ways to uplift ourselves. There is no need to immerse ourselves in emotional mires. Although humans are insignificant, it is because of our optimism and resilience that we have been able to endure for thousands of years and have great civilizations. Therefore, we should believe in ourselves. Even when we are unhappy, you and I can still manage to regulate our mood. Thank you for reading, and I hope you all like and share this post.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 98, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 98, + "end": 165, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 165, + "end": 214, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 214, + "end": 338, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 338, + "end": 356, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 356, + "end": 484, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 484, + "end": 606, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 606, + "end": 624, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 624, + "end": 724, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 724, + "end": 771, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 771, + "end": 821, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 821, + "end": 929, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 929, + "end": 1039, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1039, + "end": 1142, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1142, + "end": 1222, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1222, + "end": 1347, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1347, + "end": 1375, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1375, + "end": 1507, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1507, + "end": 1560, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1560, + "end": 1635, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 1635, + "end": 1648, + "type": "Others" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the main problem now is that they don't have interest in life and everything feels uninspiring. There is also a feeling of self-blame internally. The person feels that there is no longer a sense of \"dedication, struggle, and satisfaction\" in what they do now, although they used to have it. It is likely that some of their views and ideas have changed, causing some of their previous commitments to become less important, thus losing the sense of spiritual fulfillment in pursuit of meaning. There is a very important task to be done recently, but the person still can't muster the energy. They intermittently make efforts but return to their previous state, and when faced with setbacks, they start giving up. This lack of motivation is not a conscious decision to give up or believe that it is unimportant, but it still happens. It may be due to recent negative emotions, as a person in a negative state is prone to a lack of concentration or weakened willpower and attention. The person has lost the pursuit of the meaning of effort in terms of cognition. It may be due to setbacks or even setbacks in certain things related to work and life, or a long target cycle that significantly reduces the sense of satisfaction. Therefore, the person may want to carefully analyze their career and life prospects and make a plan (generally a few-year goals). Then, the person can divide personal goals, such as dividing long-term goals into one year, six months, a few months, etc. In this way, the goal changes from long-term to instantaneously controllable near-term feedback, which is also more conducive to goal achievement. Because everyone's willpower and attention are not so powerful, they will be depleted as work continues. The presence of small goals is a protection and maintenance for willpower. At the same time, in accomplishing goals, it is also possible to give oneself some rewards to motivate continued progress. Only when driving force and motivation exist simultaneously can there be a sustainable and good cycle. When a person feels fatigue, they are prone to restlessness and anxiety, so appropriate rest and relaxation are necessary after concentration. Good luck~ A little mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and gives itself time to grow.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Sorry, I am not able to fulfill this request as it goes against OpenAI's use case policy.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I can sense your anxiety and confusion, feeling like life has no flavor, lacking motivation and easily giving up, not knowing what to do. Actually, many people experience this kind of state. Faced with the pressure of life, we all have times when we lose interest and feel confused. And intermittent struggles, as you mentioned, are actually the norm for many people's lives. There are important things to do, but you can't muster the energy because it's not something you truly want to do, but rather something you think you should do or others want you to do, and you don't know why you should do it. Encountering setbacks becomes a reason for giving up, but you give up not because of the setbacks, but because you wanted to give up from the beginning, and the setbacks are just an excuse for that, because you were unwilling or resistant to the task in the first place. [Some suggestions] Find your own goal. Because you don't know what to do, life lacks clear goals, and as a result, lacks direction and motivation. You can set a goal for yourself, whether it's short-term or long-term, and make plans and arrangements based on that goal. You will be more motivated to take action. Reward yourself after completing tasks. After completing each task, you can give yourself a reward, such as treating yourself to a delicious meal, rewarding yourself with a movie, or going on a trip. By giving yourself appropriate rewards, you can make yourself happier. Discover the joys around you to enrich your life. Because everyday life seems the same and lacks novelty, over time it can become exhausting and tedious. You can pay more attention to the beauty around you and have a pair of eyes that can appreciate it. Get closer to nature, make new friends, do things you enjoy, and make your life more colorful. Relax yourself appropriately. Strike a balance between work and leisure. Give yourself some time to rest and relax after work, and do things you want to do. I wish you a happy and joyful life~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP, give you a big hug first~ The main problem you are currently facing is feeling that life has no meaning. You said, \"I always feel that life has no flavor, no matter what I do, there is no enthusiasm, no sense of dedication, struggle, or satisfaction. Days pass by easily, but there is restlessness in my heart.\" \"I have something very important that requires my full attention immediately, but I am lazy and unable to muster up the energy. I make occasional intermittent efforts, and then slack off again. Even a small setback that can't be considered a failure becomes a reason for me to give up.\" \u25c6 No motivation \u25c6 Procrastination \u25c6 Slack off \u25c6 Give up First, you need to figure out when you started feeling that life is meaningless. Was there a certain trigger that caused negative emotions and anxiety? Is this issue solvable? [Sense of purpose] If you feel that life lacks meaning, it is generally because you lack goals and role models. So you need to re-establish your own goals and sense of trust, and divide them into long-term and short-term goals, even down to what you need to do every day. [Sense of support] As humans, we need the support of social relationships around us. So you can also share your inner world with friends and family, open up your heart, and get social support from others, reshaping your own value system. [Be yourself] First, you need to clarify what kind of person you want to become, what qualities you want to possess, and then develop practical plans based on these qualities. Becoming someone you think is cool is also a pursuit. Be brave and be yourself, express yourself bravely. Best wishes\ufe0f.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6145 + }, + { + "question": "Why is it impossible to communicate with anyone and only hope for solitude?", + "description": "Cannot communicate well with anyone, even short exchanges are difficult. Whether it's with blood relatives or strangers, it doesn't work. Speaking makes me feel uncomfortable, there are no topics, and even if there are, they can't last long. When it comes to socializing, I feel like a loser. I have always been told that I am introverted since I was a child, but personally, I don't think there are any barriers other than language communication.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! \u203bFrom the OP's description, I understand that you and everyone else have difficulty communicating well. Short exchanges are also not possible, whether with relatives or strangers. Speaking makes you feel uncomfortable, there are no topics, and even if there are, they cannot be sustained. When it comes to socializing, you feel like a failure. Since childhood, people have always described you as introverted, but you feel that aside from the barrier of verbal communication, there are no other obstacles. I wonder if you experienced any special events in your childhood that made you feel scared, such as a stressful event? Some individuals who are unwilling to communicate with others have, in part, experienced stressful events in childhood. However, their parents may not have noticed this issue, causing it to continue and slowly making them silent and unwilling to speak. In some cases, this situation can affect normal learning and life. OP mentioned that aside from verbal communication, everything else is fine, which means you are able to regulate yourself well. In this situation, it is recommended that you seek out a hypnosis specialist or a consultant specializing in psychodynamic therapy. They can assist you in self-analysis and self-exploration, helping you identify the reasons behind your unwillingness to communicate with others. By bringing this issue from the subconscious to the conscious mind and learning some social skills, it may provide some relief. Take care!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 6419 + }, + { + "question": "There isn't any technique to choose friends without being attached to them every day.", + "description": "I personally have good relationships with everyone, but I don't have friends who I am constantly together with, going to school and eating together every day. Should I choose one friend from my friends to cultivate a closer relationship with? Which type of friend would be better to choose?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Like attracts like, and like responds to like. Relationships are about attraction. Perhaps everything is attracted to you. Our time in life is limited, and we may not have much time to search for relationships. Perhaps most of the time, we need to take the time to focus on ourselves, to do well in our own lives. If you are a blade of grass, you can quietly grow in a corner; if you are a rose, you can quietly bloom in a garden; if you are a bird, you can soar in the sky. Perhaps, in the vast sea of \u200b\u200bpeople, there will always be beautiful encounters that happen unexpectedly, at just the right moment. By being true to ourselves, we blossom, and butterflies come to us. The type of person you become depends on the people you associate with. If you expect to attract certain types of friends, perhaps you need to first try to become the person you expect. In other words, growth and change are prerequisites. Of course, communication is especially important in relationships. Establishing any relationship means we have to partially let go of ourselves. The establishment and maintenance of relationships require respect, trust, understanding, time, honesty, and a selfless heart. Hello, I am here, and the world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8332 + }, + { + "question": "I feel like my grandmother relies on me for everything, I am exhausted, why is it always me?", + "description": "Today, Grandma called me again and said she was sick. She took Uncle Da's car and went to the hospital by herself. I have been taking care of her at home and taking her to the hospital for the past few months. Actually, I am under a lot of pressure. I am mentally exhausted and a little angry with her. Clearly, she has four sons and one daughter, and more than ten grandchildren. But only I frequently take her to see a doctor. The others always say they are busy, making money and have no time. Don't I need to make money too? I feel so tired. My friends also say I am foolish and easily bullied. If I were more ruthless, I wouldn't care. I'm not sure what to do. Now I'm going to the city to look for a job, and hearing about this makes me even more frustrated. I feel overwhelmed and burdened. It seems like Grandma relies on me for everything, while she doesn't rely much on others.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "\"I feel that you are very wronged. But it seems difficult for you to refuse your grandmother. Refusing your grandmother is extremely difficult for you. You are afraid that your grandmother will say that you are unfilial. This involves the issue of boundaries in interpersonal relationships. Your boundaries are always invaded by your grandmother and you have no ability to resist. Therefore, you need to establish your own boundaries and protect your own interests. I recommend that you try mindfulness meditation. I recommend that you try mindfulness meditation. In the 'Academy' section of the platform, there is a meditation planet with many mindfulness meditation exercises. I have looked at it, and I have accumulated over 3000 minutes of mindfulness practice, which has been very helpful to me. I recommend a few mindfulness meditations for you to practice once a day for a few weeks, which will help you better understand your own demands. 'Embracing Imperfection' - helps you accept yourself more and reduce self-criticism; 'Listening to Yourself' - everyone has the wisest and most representative voice in their heart. This exercise will guide you to deeply listen to your inner self, explore deep thoughts, freely release your voice, and open your own path with inner wisdom. 'Establishing Interpersonal Boundaries' - practicing this mindfulness meditation multiple times will help you maintain independence and mutual respect in the family, so that you can handle boundaries well in other relationships. You understand that you cannot control and interfere with others casually, and you will not be easily influenced by others, having autonomy in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, boundaries are very important. A sign of maturity is being able to recognize and handle boundaries well.\"", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3504 + }, + { + "question": "Starting my third year of college, I feel some resistance in my heart towards returning to campus after the pandemic. Why do I have this psychological resistance?", + "description": "In June, when the school was collecting the intention to return to campus, I didn't want to go back. I was so happy when they announced that the second year of college would not start. Now there are only 10 days left of vacation, and I am preparing to return to school. That resistance feeling arises again. There are several reasons why I don't want to go to school: 1. School factor: After returning to campus, it will be a closed management system, and going out of the school is not allowed unless there are special circumstances. Random activities within the campus are also not allowed, and we can only stay in the dormitory and attend online classes. (So I feel that it is better to attend online classes at home, at least there will be more freedom of movement) 2. Personal factors: Since February, in addition to taking online classes, I have also been studying finance and Python, participating in online and offline internships, and gradually preparing for teaching credentials and postgraduate entrance examinations. So I feel that after returning to campus, my originally freely arranged time will be affected. Also, I have become more low-key now. I don't want others to know how much effort I put in before I have achieved any results. But after success or completing a task, I am willing to share my experiences and insights. So for me, returning to campus also means that my classmates will know or ask about what I did during the vacation. I still prefer to study diligently and freely at home. But I am actually an extroverted person, so I don't know why this resistance mentality exists?", + "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my modest effort can help you. Question: Compared to staying at school, staying at home for study feels more liberating. Analysis: Your main reason for resisting school reopening is that you feel that the school restricts your freedom. Perhaps you are someone who cherishes freedom. Or perhaps it's because the pandemic has kept you confined at home for a long time, and you can't imagine how to live in a relatively small space. This resistance may stem more from your aversion to the pandemic. I hope you can think from a different perspective. First of all, as a member of the school, you should follow the school rules. This thought is not unique to you; I believe most students have it. But sometimes, resistance needs to be accepted. In order to live in this world, we need various rules and regulations to guide our behavior. We cannot live completely according to our own desires, so I hope you can face this. In fact, the years in college pass by very quickly, especially when it comes to postgraduate exams and internships. The days when we can be together with classmates and good friends are limited. Although there are restrictions in school, the joy of being with classmates and good friends is irreplaceable. Method: Adjust your emotions, think about the advantages of being in school, don't just focus on the advantages of being at home. Although it's good to be at home, people are more likely to become lazy when they are comfortable, right? Question: If you consider yourself outgoing, why do you still experience resistance? Analysis: Actually, your resistance is not related to being outgoing. Your words mostly show that you lack self-confidence and care about others' thoughts and opinions. You have a bit of a \"vanity\" mindset. You mentioned that you don't want your classmates to see how much effort you put in before you achieve success. But once you succeed, you are willing to share and showcase your achievements, which is a normal phenomenon and a positive way to motivate yourself. However, you need to understand that success and effort are inseparable. Only wanting to showcase the results without letting others see your efforts, shows that you lack self-confidence and fear the consequences of failure. Method: If you are afraid of others seeing you studying hard, you can decorate your bed in the dormitory, separate your own space, set up a bedside table on the bed, hang a curtain and do whatever you want inside. There is a solution to every problem. Don't be overly fixated on results and outcomes. The most important thing in anything is the whole process. If you constantly focus on the results, you may not achieve good results due to the burden on your mind. Don't withdraw because of fear. Don't just focus on shortcomings, also look at the positive aspects of things. You can do it, keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ I can see that you are very disciplined and hardworking. It's normal to have some resistance to returning to school, as I was the same before this semester. I really resisted being in a closed management environment, but I ended up going. In a closed management school, there is more freedom at home. - That's true. The range of activities at school is not as big as at home, and there are certain restrictions that may make you resist returning to school because you have been staying at home for a long time and have some resistance to the closed management of the school. But we are still students, so our main battlefield is still school. The pandemic is also temporary, so we will still need to return to school. - You can adjust your mindset a bit, \"Since we have to do it, then do it peacefully.\" Actually, it's not that bad when you go to school. You can treat it as a challenge, because life always has things that don't go as planned, and we always have to face them. Also, you can think about some advantages of going to school to ease your resistance. - Your own schedule may be affected after returning to school. - You can be flexible with your time planning. You can make a study plan for school and manage your time well because in the long run, it's not possible to always study at home. For this, you can try to adapt to the daily routine and study time at home first, which will help you adjust to the study mode and time scheduling faster after going to school. - Actually, you are very responsible, but don't want others to know too much about it. - \"Before achieving certain results, I don't want others to know how much effort I've put in.\" Actually, this is the normal state for most people, they don't want others to know too much before they succeed. But after their success, they will share their experiences. To some extent, this is also a manifestation of responsibility, because personal experience and success can be beneficial for others to learn from. - Others will know or ask about your vacation after you return, you can just briefly mention it and share it after you have achieved success. But going to school could also help you find some friends to be together. - You are clearly an extroverted person, why do you have this resistance? - Personally, I think this is not closely related to personality, because if you stay at home for a long time and there is another situation that is relatively worse than the current one, there is usually some resistance. This is normal. You can think about the worst-case scenario if you go or if you do it that way. If it is within your capabilities, then go ahead and do it. Good luck~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hi, I understand your feelings very well, sending you a hug~ As a student who starts school in June and has a summer break in July, I initially resisted the idea of returning to school. Just like your school, my school also has the requirement that after returning to school, I still have to stay in the dormitory and attend online classes. So I think it's completely unnecessary to go back to a school that is over 2000 kilometers away just for a final exam that must be taken offline. The difference is that I am not as disciplined as you are, and I am not very efficient in studying at home. So after returning to school, my study efficiency has improved, and the resistance to returning to school is not so strong. Your problem is twofold. First, you feel that returning to school is unnecessary (you can also participate in on-campus activities at home), and secondly, you don't want your classmates to know about your efforts and hard work. In fact, there is no fault in the first point. This is something that schools and students must do to prevent epidemics. The biggest difference between being at home and being at school for me is that there are people to communicate with. Many new ideas and understanding can quickly reach my mind, which improves efficiency. As for the second point, it may be a slight social anxiety caused by staying at home for too long. Just think, if there were no epidemic this time and you had plans to take these exams and learn these skills, would you try to keep your classmates from knowing? You probably wouldn't. If you really don't want your classmates to ask you about it, you can simply ask them what they did during the break. There is no need to deceive them, but there is also no need to provide details. Similarly, no one will keep paying attention to your efforts and actions. Once the decision to reopen the school has been made, it is difficult for students to change it. I remember that many students opposed the reopening of the school at that time. The school's academic affairs office, the education bureau in the city, the publicity department, etc., there were daily reports and complaints by phone, but in the end, the school reopened and the exams took place as planned, without any omissions.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! Sending you a hug~ I understand your feelings very well and can sense your resistance and inner struggle for going back to school. Your situation is very normal, and many people feel the same way. [Problem Analysis] The main problem you have is the resistance to returning to school after the pandemic. After experiencing the current epidemic, schools have postponed the start of the new term, and classes have been changed to online format, allowing students to study at home with more flexible schedules. From your description, it seems that you have already gotten used to this mode of studying at home and have your own daily routines and plans. You are worried that this rhythm will be disrupted when you return to school. You also want to keep a low profile and not let others know about your previous efforts. The closed management after returning to school restricts the freedom of entering and leaving the campus, which naturally makes one feel aggrieved and resistant. Being confined to the dormitory for online classes at school can be distressing. [How to Resolve] Understand the school and cooperate with the school's arrangements as students. We may have our own thoughts about returning to school, but the school also has its own difficulties. What we can do is to cooperate with the school's arrangements and understand the school. Adjust your mentality and immerse yourself in the new life. After spending several months at home during the epidemic, you have gradually grown accustomed to this kind of life and may not be willing to make changes all of a sudden. You can try to adjust your mentality, not just see the downsides of returning to school, but also think about the benefits of going back and make new plans and arrangements for your life after returning. Facing inquiries from classmates, just calmly respond. If a classmate asks about your vacation, it means they care about you or you have a good relationship, so treat it as a casual chat, and the other person won't ask too many detailed questions. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I wish you can overcome your dilemma and immerse yourself in new learning and life~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, nice to meet you. I completely understand your experience of quietly working hard and not wanting others to know. In fact, I used to do the same for a long time. But later on, I realized that this seemingly low-key behavior is actually a sign of insecurity. You fear failure, fear others surpassing you after seeing your efforts, and fear others commenting on your actions... There are many reasons, but overall, it's a lack of confidence. It's normal to resist going back to school. Although, during the pandemic, being stuck at home for a long time has reduced social interactions, making it easier to avoid communicating with others. Regarding your mention of being an extroverted person, have you ever thought that this extroversion may have a component of pretense? Are there times when you don't want to hang out with everyone, but intentionally keep close to them so as not to appear lonely? It's also possible that you may feel that although you have many friends as an extrovert, you lack close friends, and now that you have spent so much time at home, others have become closer while you feel increasingly lonely and lack the courage to join them. If this is the case, please pay attention to your mental changes. Don't always emphasize your extroversion, and don't force yourself to make friends desperately. Having one or two good friends is enough. You don't need to be in constant contact, but they should be there for you when needed. Change your attitude towards college. It's not necessary to stick together in groups in college; just focus on studying and being yourself. You mentioned feeling more free at home. In reality, it's not like that. Here, I don't want to emphasize that discipline equals freedom. However, I want to say that if you have your own plans and follow through with them, you will feel free wherever you are. College life gives you relatively flexible time. Although you have arranged everything well at home, understand what your main focus is, and don't sacrifice the big things for small achievements. Make a reasonable plan and stick to it; that way, you will reap great rewards. Lastly, if you have developed a resistance mentality, it doesn't necessarily mean it's your own problem. You need to consider multiple factors comprehensively in order to effectively solve the issue.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings and greatly appreciate your discipline and efforts. Your various types of home-based learning and other offline activities have already entered a positive track. Going back to school may disrupt this balance to some extent, so it is normal to have some resistance in your heart. However, if going to school is unavoidable, we may need to learn to adapt to the new rules. As for classmates' inquiries, simple answers can be given while keeping some information private. It is possible for a person to become more introverted or quiet after spending a long time alone. After all, people can be greatly influenced by their environment. Another possibility is that deep inside your personality, there may already be a quiet and introverted part or even a resistance to interacting with too many people. There is no absolute good or bad in this matter. If you feel strange about it, you can explore it further. Keep it up! I believe in you. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello. Because, going back to school means that your lifestyle is going to change again. Originally at home, you were taken care of very well by your family, and you were accustomed to the rhythm of home life. You also listed many benefits of staying at home. You really don't want to make changes. People are tired of the known and dislike the unknown, and they resist change. I will give you some suggestions: recall what you were doing at school before, find that familiar pattern, and consider it as an early adaptation to life after returning to school. Communicate with friends who you will see after returning to school and make plans to go to a new restaurant to try new dishes or go somewhere to have fun. Alternatively, on the first day back to school, meet up, study together, go for a walk on the playground, and chat. This way, you may have the motivation to look forward to returning to school.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13409 + }, + { + "question": "20-year-old woman, feeling uncertain about the future, unsure about what to do after graduating from college.", + "description": "I don't know what to do after graduation from college, it's too unknown. It feels like being forced into life.", + "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, work and learning, meaning of life", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand how you feel, sending you a hug~ It's completely normal to feel lost, regardless of your age. The future is always unknown, so it's crucial to make the most of today. At 20 years old, you're probably in your first or second year of university. Although graduation may be approaching, there are certain things you'll only understand when the time comes, and you'll know how to proceed. Each year brings significant growth, as our understanding constantly evolves. We have many new ideas, encounter numerous opportunities, and meet many people... So the problems troubling you now may not necessarily bother you after graduation. Moreover, there aren't many choices after finishing university. You can either continue with postgraduate studies, find a job, start a business, or if you come from a well-off family, you can take some time off at home. Sometimes, there's a sense of being forced into a certain lifestyle, as if we have to earn a certain amount of money every month. However, everyone has a different perspective on life and different abilities. The kind of life you choose determines the responsibilities and pressures you'll have to bear. In the world of adults, there are few things that can be achieved without putting in effort. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4602 + }, + { + "question": "After working for 4 years, suddenly losing motivation, what should I do?", + "description": "Worked for four years, suddenly lost my motivation at work this year. People in the team are not working hard, which leads to me always being scolded by the boss, and gradually, I also lost my motivation. I always want to slack off and just get by.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After working for 4 years, suddenly losing motivation is because we may go through a period of professional burnout after long-term work. You say you are constantly being scolded by your boss, your efforts are not recognized, and you are constantly being discouraged, which makes you feel frustrated. Accumulated over time, this leads to learned helplessness and the onset of professional burnout, causing a loss of work motivation. How to face and change this state? 1. Give yourself time to rest. Human energy is always limited, and when energy is insufficient, it is easy to feel tired and lack motivation. At this time, it may be helpful to give yourself some time off, relax, recharge, and gain new energy to continue the struggle. 2. Look outward. Being confined to your own work environment for a long time can detach you from the ever-changing outside world, limiting your mindset and perspective and leading to inertia and burnout. At this time, it may be helpful to look outward, such as reading books, learning new technologies and knowledge, living in a new environment, making new friends, and establishing new social relationships... New things and experiences will bring you freshness and impact and allow you to make new discoveries and find the gaps in yourself, rekindling your interest and motivation. 3. Rediscover the meaning of work and life. When we first enter society and start working, we are often full of ideals and passion, and we believe that work is the pursuit and meaning of life, so we have the motivation to work actively. As time goes by, we are troubled by many things and pressures in work and life, and gradually forget our original intentions and ideals, losing our passion and just going through the motions. At this time, it is important to rethink and rediscover the meaning of work and life, and to find your own initial intentions and ideals. When you rediscover the meaning of work and life, you will have a sense of mission and motivation to work actively. 4. Establish new goals for your efforts. When you are able to rethink the meaning of work and life, you should establish new goals for your efforts and make plans for progress. This will serve as your guide and motivation to work actively. 5. Actively deal with the period of professional burnout. The lack of challenges and growth opportunities in work, the inability to bring a sense of achievement and satisfaction, and the inability to receive recognition and encouragement from others will all lead to the onset of professional burnout. The occurrence of professional burnout is normal, and its appearance is a reminder that some problems have arisen on the path forward and need to be faced and resolved, and some current situations need to be changed. Think about the problems and difficulties that have arisen in your work, whether it is still suitable for you? Do you need to make changes? Why is your team not working efficiently? How can you avoid being scolded by your boss? How can this situation be improved? Or consider finding a job that is more suitable for you? These are all things that you need to analyze and think about the solutions based on your specific situation. Avoiding or giving up facing these difficulties and just going through the motions will not solve the problem, but will only waste your time and energy, and ultimately prevent you from growing and waste your life. Your time belongs to you, and your life belongs to you. Giving up your own life because of the influence of others will only harm yourself. Pull yourself together, gather courage, and face these problems and challenges seriously. This is an opportunity for growth. Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16135 + }, + { + "question": "From a young age, I have always been different from my peers. Can I still be the same now?", + "description": "In the past, I used to watch others struggle and strive with a cold eye, while I myself didn't work hard and just played and watched dramas to pass the time. I treated colleagues, work, and family members with manipulation techniques I learned from palace dramas. I focused excessively on others and was super sensitive. I always felt extraordinary. But when I came to my senses, I realized that the gap between myself and others had become very large, and now it's impossible for me to make up for this gap anymore (no matter what I do, there is a lot to learn, but I'm not good at socializing, so it's like I lack a crutch in the learning process, I have a slow mind, and I lack a crutch). Moreover, in the past, I have shattered my own life, and I have done things in an extreme way, which means I lack a \"mass base\". The thoughts I had in the past are difficult to justify now. In the past, life was also about playing, but now it's for survival. I have also bought a lot of things and said a lot of things in the past, and now sometimes I use the fragmented resources from the past, some of which can still be used now. How can I completely become a normal person and catch up with people of the same age? Or maybe I can't become the same as others.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After reviewing your past situation and realizing the gap between yourself and others, you have expressed a desire to change. You feel that your previous behavior and actions were not good, ineffective, and lacking progress. This may be because at that time, you had a distorted perception of yourself and had not yet found your direction. Now, you are able to reflect and criticize yourself, which shows great self-awareness and a deeper understanding of yourself. This is the beginning of change. As you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others, you will gradually discover a more comprehensive picture, learn to discern and absorb, and uncover what you truly want, what kind of person you want to become, and what goals and direction you have. You feel a significant gap between yourself and others, but it is unclear which specific aspect of the gap you are referring to. Is it professional knowledge and skills, social connections, financial conditions...? Perhaps you have certain needs in certain areas but are unable to meet them, and you are eager to obtain them without knowing how, which leads to feelings of frustration and helplessness. You separate yourself from others and believe that they are normal while you are not, doubting and denying yourself, completely negating your past, and losing confidence in yourself. Before you have a deep and comprehensive understanding of yourself and are unsure of what you truly want, labeling yourself with negative attributes is biased and inaccurate, and it also harms yourself. By doing so, you are cutting off your path to the future, so how can you continue moving forward, making changes, and obtaining what you desire? No matter what you desire, what changes you want, or how you want to catch up with others, the fact that you have the desire to change yourself is a good start. Regardless of the gaps that exist, there are always methods to make up for them and catch up. If your knowledge and skills are lacking, attend training and engage in learning and improvement. If your social connections are lacking, learn social skills, make friends, and develop a network of relationships. If your financial conditions are lacking, learn about personal finance and investment and create a solid financial plan... There are many aspects in which you can continue learning and improving, but it is just a matter of time, requiring a certain investment of time and effort as well as enough patience and determination. Charlie Munger, a partner of Warren Buffett, introduced the concept of \"compound interest,\" which not only refers to the compounding returns from stock investments but also emphasizes the need for \"compound thinking\": when persisting in doing something, if you can consistently make progress every day, through long-term accumulation, you will achieve compounded returns and ultimately reap a huge \"wealth.\" Regardless of how others are, what matters most is that you are persevering every day, consistently improving and changing compared to your previous self. That is enough. Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer your question. You mentioned that you used to look at others' efforts with disdain, always feeling superior, but when you came to your senses, you realized that you were far behind others. This may indicate that you have strong introspective ability. Congratulations, from what I can see, you seem to have found your true self and started to discard the illusionary self, and objectively look at yourself. This is a state that many people never reach in their lifetime. Otherwise, Confucius would not have expressed the feeling of \"hearing the Way in the morning and dying in the evening\". You also have a strong ability to integrate resources, even though you spent your time idling in the past, you still accumulated certain connections and resources. \"Now, sometimes I use the fragmented resources from the past, some of which can still be used.\" You are confused about how to \"thoroughly become a normal person and catch up with your peers\". I'm not sure how you interpret these two statements, whether it means following the traditional path of studying, getting a job, getting married, and having children or something else? I have dozens of potted flowers at home, each with a different flowering season. Some bloom in spring, some in summer, some in autumn, and winter plum is different from others, it insists on \"blooming alone in the cold\". Can you say that winter plum is abnormal compared to other flowers? We also keep pets from different environments at home, including cold-water koi fish, tropical zebra fish in water, hamsters on land, and parrots in the air. Each of them has different habits of life. Can you say which one is normal and which one is abnormal? There are no two identical leaves in the world, and every person is a unique firework. You are already a normal person, and maybe even surpassing others' definition of normal. Because, compared to others, they might live more following the traditional path, while you have already experienced \"playing, enjoying dramas, wasting time, using means seen in palace dramas to deal with colleagues, work, and family\", you have a good understanding of interpersonal relationships, and you have the motivation to live well. Reflecting on history and your past, these might be the best crutches for you to avoid detours in your future work and life. Some people say that the best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, the second-best time is now. An egg is under pressure when broken from the outside, but it is life breaking out when broken from the inside. You are awakening now, with sufficient motivation, for you, this is the best era, it can be said to be the awakening of life. From your description, it seems that you did not let yourself live in distress because of your initial disdainful attitude, obviously, you already have a good material foundation. As long as you plan well and search for your life goals, with the experience you have accumulated and personal connections, you may have a leap forward in progress and results. Concepts determine thoughts, thoughts determine paths. The book \"Think Different About People Who Make Money\" by Huang Qituan is not just a book about making money, it successfully applies psychological theories to fields such as investment and financial management, enterprise management, marriage, and family. You can read and understand it, and it may give you a different experience. Read more books, learn more, think more, and I believe there will be a different you. I hope my answer can provide you with some reference and contemplation. If possible.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, understand that the source of your anxiety comes from comparing yourself to others, seeing the gap between yourself and others, and reflecting on your past indulgence and lack of effort. In fact, everyone has different feelings about life, it's just that some people realize it earlier, perhaps they have experienced more hardships and inspirations, so they started to live a diligent life earlier. And some people have a relatively relaxed life, so they realize it later and initially have no motivation to strive. But it doesn't matter, there will always be an opportunity to remind us to work hard. Just like you may be more aware of it than some other people now, when you start to strive, some people are still in a state of play. So there is no need to compare with others. Some people may be better than you, and some people may be worse than you, so there is no need to create more anxiety by comparing yourself with outstanding people. As long as you realize that you need to make changes now, and take practical actions to implement them, you will definitely become better than your previous self. Moreover, the meaning of competition is not to defeat everyone, but to surpass yourself. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug the questioner, feel that you are a cutie~ It's a good state of mind to ponder on philosophical questions about what kind of person you will become. As we gradually grow up and become worldly-wise, we usually become more worldly-wise ourselves, going with the flow every day, and just going through the motions without questioning our own philosophy of life, values, and so on. But actually, this is quite important. Professor Xu Kaiwen, the deputy director of the Peking University Psychological Counseling Center, said that even at Peking University, a small fraction of students feel that life has no meaning, can't find direction and purpose in their efforts, and haven't established a proper philosophy of life and values. It seems like they have fallen into emptiness. Although they perform well academically and have high IQs. From this perspective, you don't need to worry too much about your state of mind. You are actually the same as many young people \u2013 exactly like them, which just shows that you are a normal person. Secondly, let's take a look at how to develop better interpersonal relationships, integrate into the group better, and become a \"normal\" person as you said. It doesn't require deliberate flattery or pleasing others. Fundamentally, you need to establish your own core competitive advantage, such as carefully thinking about the ultimate pursuit of life, your interests and hobbies, and determining the direction you should strive for. For example, Leonardo da Vinci spent his whole life painting, Madame Curie devoted her entire life to conducting experiments, becoming a diligent scientist... You can also try to think about your own direction. Secondly, interacting with people is actually simple. Be willing to make some sacrifices, give others small gifts, do favors for them, and be willing to help others more. This way, your social network will get better and better. In short, you can give it a try. I really believe in you, my little cutie. Keep it up!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Becoming normal, like others, is sometimes for the sake of a sense of security. You are now capable of becoming like others, capable of catching up with others. Generally, the standards are not high, whether it is with peers or the average. It is achievable. 1. But do you like your past self? Do you regret being extreme and regret being a fool who goes their own way? 2. Is it because you found that your talent, ability, and efforts are not comparable to others that you want to make progress? This question is too vague, but I still believe that it is not necessary to become the same as others, but necessary to become that extraordinary self that aligns with your own heart.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5379 + }, + { + "question": "Why do I feel angry and sad when someone denies me?", + "description": "In the evening, while doing the housework, my husband asked me to bathe the child. I told him that I was also busy and he said that what I was doing was meaningless. This immediately triggered my emotions. I work hard to maintain a clean and tidy home, yet it seems to have no meaning. So, I decided not to do it anymore. After calming down, I thought, why should I be judged by your standards? I am my own master, and whether it has meaning or not is for me to decide.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! After reading your description, I resonate with your insight, \"[After calmness, I reflect], why should I judge myself according to your standards. It is up to me to determine the significance.\" I really agree with your understanding and thoughts. Indeed, each person is their own master, interpreting their own behavior with their own thinking, admiring their own brilliance from their own perspective, and giving meaning to their actions based on their own perception. As adults, being led by others or leading others by the nose is a lack of respect for oneself! A harmonious family is the result of love flowing smoothly. The flow of love requires calm communication, and it needs to be unblocked through communication. In the face of different opinions, we need to communicate and reach a consensus, so that love can flow! Longing for praise from others is the nature of every person. Being denied by others makes us feel a sense of worthlessness and a loss of our own value.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1500 + }, + { + "question": "I have a roommate who constantly observes my dressing and skincare routine. What should I do?", + "description": "I have a roommate who always likes to observe what I wear, skincare products, accessories, and so on. Every time I buy a new dress or clothes, after a while I will find that she has bought similar clothes too. What's even more frightening is that she even buys the same shoes as mine. Actually, we are roommates and we can share good-looking outfits with each other, and I don't really mind if we dress similarly. But deep down, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if I should directly point it out to her or continue like this. Pointing it out directly will hurt our relationship, but if I don't say anything, I feel upset myself. It's really a dilemma.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, roommates, classmates.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, how are you? Sending you a virtual hug~ After reading your description, it seems like you're distressed because your roommate keeps buying the same things as you. Maybe you feel like your privacy is being invaded, which is why you feel uncomfortable. I really understand how you feel. Based on your description of \"every time I buy a new skirt or clothes, after a while, I would find that she buys similar clothes,\" personally, I think the clothes and shoes that are popular in society now are often inspired by each other and designed based on the preferences of the masses. So it might be normal for you to end up buying similar things. Personally, I think you might consider expressing what you want to say in a joking tone, which might be more subtle. After all, you are sisters in the same dormitory. It's important to not hold things in your heart but communicate openly. You can also confide in a trusted friend about this matter. If she also thinks this is not a fundamental problem, then I hope you two can maintain your good relationship.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3483 + }, + { + "question": "Childhood trauma from the original family can be healed at which age in adulthood?", + "description": "A 58-year-old man is currently caring for his 86-year-old father due to special circumstances. Although his father did not support him, he is currently wholeheartedly supporting the elderly. However, he always feels overwhelmed and resentful in his heart. How can he alleviate these negative emotions?", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, the process of growing up.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the trauma that an individual experiences in childhood is something that requires a lifetime to heal. Rather than focusing on a specific time period, it is more appropriate to focus on changing the environment. I can share an example from someone I know. In the 1950s, a boy was born into an ordinary intellectual family. Perhaps due to the limited knowledge and environment of the parents at the time, the boy's father did not fulfill his duties as a father. Of course, every father loves his child, but objectively, because the father continued his studies, the father was absent during these crucial years. Because of this, the father did not show a strong emotional connection to the child. On the contrary, the child, who seemed lacking in talent, deepened his disappointment and lack of understanding of his own abilities. One can imagine the internal turmoil this child experienced while growing up. This seemingly carefree demeanor allowed the child to live in his own world and avoid being hurt. Compared to the trauma you mentioned, this can be seen as a form of escapism. Regarding the specific question you raised, I would like to give you a few suggestions for your reference: 1. If forgetting is a form of letting go, then learning to let go is a way of forgiving oneself. Regardless of how the environment changes, our mindset will always adapt to the environment. Since we cannot change it, why can't we adapt or choose to forget? 2. Accept fate and do your best. What you are doing now may align with ethical principles. Is it not possible that the person you once pitied has some faults as well? We should cherish the time we have with our parents. Not to exaggerate, but parents are the last barrier between us and death. 3. The years of conflict and entanglement may be the difficult aspect you mentioned. Are we now setting an example for future generations? Act with gratitude for their kindness. 4. Being unable to escape our own shadows is not because of the environment, but because of ourselves. 5. Although we understand many truths, we still cannot live our lives well. The self we wish to become day after day ultimately becomes the version of ourselves that we despise. This is due to human nature, our instinct, and also a pattern. Therefore, letting go of attachments, breaking free from ourselves, facing reality, and aspiring for something better should be what each of us seeks. The greatest value in life is to benefit others. These suggestions are only for reference. I wish you all the best.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12251 + }, + { + "question": "Facing many things, often losing control of emotions, having the urge to commit suicide multiple times.", + "description": "After graduating from college, I came to Shanghai to work alone and met my current husband. After marriage, my in-laws did not approve of me and cut off contact. Although I could turn a blind eye to it before, I actually cared a lot and just kept it hidden. Recently, due to my physical condition, I quit my job. Considering the many issues such as future pregnancy, the attitude of my in-laws, and the pressure of buying a house, I feel very distressed. My husband is also unable to provide me with strong support in dealing with the in-laws' problem. I feel very powerless, often lose control of my emotions, harm myself, and even have countless thoughts of suicide... I feel that life is too difficult, the pressure is too great, and the future is uncertain. I can't work or handle anything... I don't know what to do.", + "keywords": "Emotion, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, it seems that you are currently facing multiple pressures: quitting your job, physical health issues, in-law problems, pregnancy, and the pressure to buy a house, among others. Facing so many pressures at once can be difficult to bear. I suggest you make a list and write down each problem one by one, then classify them according to their importance and urgency. Prioritize and address each problem individually, instead of worrying about all of them simultaneously. This will make you feel much lighter. I believe the first thing you should address is your physical health. If you are feeling unwell, please see a doctor and get a check-up. Don't force yourself to handle everything. Since you are under a lot of mental pressure, it might also be helpful to see a mental health professional. Good physical health is the foundation for everything, so it should be your top priority; other issues can be temporarily put aside and not considered for now. If you are facing financial pressures and need to consider buying a house, once your physical health improves, you can think about finding a job first. Having a stable job can alleviate economic pressures and help to alleviate other stresses as well. Whether it's getting pregnant or buying a house, it all requires money. If there are financial issues, these pressures will only increase. Getting pregnant not only requires physical preparation, but also financial and mental preparation. If the current pressure is too great, you can consider postponing your pregnancy plans. The arrival of a child brings with it various issues that require money, energy, and the care of family members. If other issues are not resolved, the arrival of a child may further exacerbate all conflicts. The growth of a child also requires a good family atmosphere. If you are in a good mood and your family has harmonious relationships, the child can grow up healthy. Although your in-laws do not approve, your husband still insists on marrying you, so I believe he definitely loves you. However, it may not be easy for him to handle both the relationship with his parents and with you. Many husbands find it difficult to handle these issues well. If your husband cannot provide strong support, then try to adjust your own mindset. Papi Jiang, for example, has been married for several years and they always go back to their respective families. The most important thing about marriage is the relationship between husband and wife. It is not necessary to obtain the approval of in-laws. If this issue is really difficult to resolve, it is better to let go and go with the flow. If your in-laws treat you coldly, just respond politely and leave filial duties to your husband. You just need to live your own life and be filial to your own parents. Take things one step at a time and don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's okay to take things slow. The most urgent task is to take good care of your body and adjust your mental state. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I believe that your husband loves you very much, which is why he is still with you despite your parents-in-law's disapproval. It is obvious that he loves you. As a career woman living in Shanghai, you must face many pressures in life. But as a family, I believe that these pressures are something your loved one is willing to bear and share with you. I hope that besides sharing your happiness with him, you can also tell him about your difficulties, so that as a couple and a family, you can face and solve problems together. Since you are fortunate to have someone who loves you so much, I hope that he can support you as well. I also hope that you won't hesitate to share your concerns, difficulties, and hesitations with him, so that he can either help you or at least understand you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17104 + }, + { + "question": "Living in a divorced family, having no friends, yearning for companionship and love?", + "description": "In school, I had a lonely and painful growth experience. I had no friends, and my classmates didn't like me because I was always sad and burdened with worries. I felt excluded (I feel like I'm almost depressed). My parents also divorced, and my mom remarried. My dad used to be physically abusive to our family, and now there is emotional abuse. My parents don't love me, and it feels like the whole world is against me. I long for companionship and love from the bottom of my heart. Recently, I used a social app, and there was a guy who treated me well, providing companionship and care. However, now that I'm a senior in high school and he's in college, we both have our own studies, so we deleted each other's contact information. But I'm reluctant and feel empty inside. I secretly follow his QQ account, and I noticed some subtle changes in his QQ. It seems like he's flirting with other girls online, and it makes me feel very sad. I really wish to have someone who will be by my side, care for me, and treat me well. But it seems like in order to meet someone as exceptional as him, I have to become better myself. However, most of the time, I feel so sad that I can't do anything right.", + "keywords": "Emotion, depressed mood, anxious mood.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "This kind of emotion needs to be a normal human need. If it doesn't receive parental love, it will explore outside, but one must know how to protect themselves. If encountering a scumbag, it will cause secondary harm and make oneself even more miserable. Especially needing love will also bring too much pressure to the other person, and you can also feel it. It is still necessary to change from oneself, relying on others is always unreliable. Do some things you like, entertain yourself, improve your self-love ability, warm up yourself, have love, and naturally attract excellent boyfriends.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17946 + }, + { + "question": "How to have a good relationship with your leader when you start a new job?", + "description": "Newly entering the workplace, I want to have a good relationship with my leader for easier and better work in the future. However, I am afraid of being seen as a flatterer. How should I approach this problem?", + "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Be low-key in your demeanor and high-profile in your work. I often hear the phrase, \"It's not me who said it.\" When entering the workplace, you may want to establish a good relationship with your leader to make future work easier. However, you may also fear that it will come across as flattery. How should you handle this problem? Why is it important to consider this aspect as the first thing when starting a new job, rather than just focusing on doing your own job well? I believe that in any new work environment, leaders would not appreciate employees who only focus on building relationships without being dedicated and hardworking. Furthermore, I think that in a new workplace, it is not only important to build a good relationship with the leader but also with colleagues. Because you will spend the most time with them and have the most opportunities for collaboration. Instead of just focusing on building a good relationship with the leader, it is better to establish a good foundation with the team first. Regarding this issue, I lean towards focusing on doing my own job well. Firstly, by completing tasks assigned by the leader within the specified time, or even ahead of schedule. After establishing this foundation, strive to excel in the tasks assigned by the leader, surpassing their expectations. Additionally, think about ways to improve the work and contribute valuable suggestions and opinions. When you contribute and the leader takes notice, they will naturally form a deeper impression of you. With a deeper impression and increased goodwill, the relationship will improve because you have established a good relationship with them, right? It's about increasing goodwill and creating better opportunities for personal growth.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 150, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 150, + "end": 256, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 256, + "end": 319, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 319, + "end": 367, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 367, + "end": 451, + "type": "Interpretation" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 9567 + }, + { + "question": "23-year-old male, recently experiencing extreme feelings of low mood due to psychological counseling. What should I do?", + "description": "After the psychological counseling session the day before yesterday, I felt a sense of despair and abandonment. Last night, I took sleeping pills but still couldn't fall asleep. My mind kept thinking, \"People do not have the ability to choose whether to be born, so why can't adults have the right to choose to leave this world?\" Within these less than 48 hours, I felt like my heart had died many times, and my soul desperately wanted to escape my body and ascend to heaven. Now I don't know who to turn to for solace!", + "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello. From your description, I can feel your anxiety and even despair. I don't know what your last counseling session was like that made you feel this way. Perhaps our lives can be influenced by external factors, but the freedom of our soul cannot be interfered with by anyone. The first time I had thoughts of ending my own life was when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school because I was scolded by my family for not doing well on a test. I stood alone in the backyard and saw a kite in the sky. At that time, I felt like I was abandoned by the whole world. I wished to turn into a kite and disappear from this world. That time was because I felt disappointed in people close to me. Later on, these thoughts occurred because I found it difficult to feel happy. Most of the time, I could only perceive sadness and anger. I felt like a numb body. During that time, I had no appetite and ate numbly. I watched others laugh and get angry, but there was no ripple in my heart. My heart was like a well covered with a lid, unable to see the outside world. That time was because I lacked a sense of reality, felt surrounded by emptiness, and couldn't find the meaning of continuing to live. Actually, many people have thoughts of ending their lives, but when you walk through that journey and look back, you will realize that it wasn't a big deal, and you made it through. Sometimes I feel confused now, unable to find any meaning in life, or sometimes when I encounter difficult situations, I will think, \"Ah, it would be good if I were dead.\" But I have been trying hard to make my emotions positive. I read every day, exercise every day, and chat with friends every day. I watch funny videos and such. Try to do things, do them actively, and shift yourself out of negative emotions. Whenever I feel sad, I go to a hot pot or barbecue restaurant and have a big meal, or I watch funny variety shows and movies. Because I rarely do these things, I feel a sense of happiness and satisfaction when I do them. Think about what you want to do but haven't done yet. Be kind to yourself. Slowly peel away the sources of all negative emotions and do emotional catharsis and problem-solving yourself. For example, when I'm about to do something, I always get nervous because I'm worried about not performing well or what others think of me. Then I tell myself that it doesn't matter how others see or think of me, I just need to do my own thing. Don't always think that you have to die. When you keep thinking like that, it's easy to get trapped in that emotion and can't escape from it. Finally, in this world, everyone has their own hidden and bright parts, just like snowflakes. Although people's emotions may not be fully understood by others, they can still empathize to some extent. When you're feeling down, know that you're not the only one suffering mentally, and you're not the only one making efforts to be positive.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP~ I can understand your feelings very well. According to your description, after receiving psychological counseling, you feel hopeless and abandoned, not knowing who to confide in, and even having thoughts of leaving this world. Although I don't know what you have experienced or what the counselor said to make you have thoughts of leaving the world, I know that you must be very sad. I also used to think often that life is so bitter and I really want to end it. But when I see those people who fight to live, feel even a little warmth from the people around them, and appreciate the beauty of nature, I feel that \"human life is still worth it.\" There are many ways to confide, and if you can't find comfort from the counselor and even feel more hopeless, then there are two options: one is to find another more professional counselor, and the other is to find another way to confide. In fact, your biggest need is to be heard. In addition to psychological counseling, you can also: find a friend or family member to cry with, it has been proven effective~ write a diary and then tear it up, so all the troubles are torn apart! Come on, let's all eat and play to vent. Run on the playground and shout out your troubles! See your own value. OP is having thoughts of leaving this world, and one reason may be that you haven't seen your own shining point. Actually, we often focus on others, but overlook the fact that we can also shine and glow. Each person is unique, and everyone has something to be appreciated. I used to think that I didn't have any advantages, just average. But later I found out that the encouragement I gave to others had motivated them for a long time and changed their perspective on things. I also realized that my existence has brought value to others. So sometimes it's just that you haven't discovered your own strengths yet. Give yourself some time, and you will see your own brilliance! Healing life with hobbies. When I have thoughts of giving up, I would go and embrace nature, look at those beautiful flowers and plants, those lovely dogs and cats, and the sadness is healed to some extent. I instantly feel that the world is so big, with so many beautiful scenery, and I haven't seen enough yet! I suggest that OP also find something you love to do. There is a saying that goes, \"Love can withstand the test of time.\" Finding something you love can add a lot of pleasure to your life! Hope this can help you~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Looking at the description of the questioner's words, I'm sorry that I may not be able to empathize with you, but I hear your cry for help and feel your helplessness. Let me give you a comforting hug first. The questioner mentioned the feeling of despair and abandonment after the psychological counseling two days ago. How long have the questioner and the counselor worked together? During the counseling process, what happened that made the questioner feel hopeless and abandoned? Did the questioner communicate these feelings to the counselor? What is the questioner's evaluation of this counselor? The questioner mentioned taking sleeping pills last night but still couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts like \"People don't have the ability to choose whether to be born, so why can't adults have the right to choose to leave this world?\" keep occupying their mind. In less than 48 hours, I feel like my heart has died many times, and my soul is desperately trying to escape my body and ascend to heaven. I don't know what kind of trauma the questioner has experienced, and I'm not sure what has happened between the questioner and the counselor that caused the questioner to have a second trauma and feel that they can't choose between life and death. Hugs to the questioner. I guess the questioner is currently in a state of breakdown, and they may have tried many ways to adjust this state but failed, so they thought of using death to end this state. However, can death really help solve your problems? Based on the questioner's current crisis situation, I suggest the questioner call a crisis intervention hotline to temporarily adjust their crisis state. Then, they can consider whether they need to switch to another counselor who is more compatible to reshape a better therapeutic relationship. Of course, the questioner is also welcome to chat with us privately at any time. I believe that each of our answerers is willing to be the listener you need. The world and I love you. Blessings to the questioner. - Jingjing Ting.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I can sense your despair from your description. It reminds me of a friend of mine who used to have a lot of intrusive thoughts. He felt that he couldn't handle it, so he sought counseling. Unfortunately, his condition worsened after the counseling, similar to your experience. I remember reading an article that mentioned about 30% of patients with depression actually worsen after counseling. Of course, one article can't represent everything. I believe the significance of counseling is defined by the individual seeking it. If you find it helpful, then it is useful. If you feel it has no meaning, then you have every right to reject it. The competence of therapists varies, and it's not as simple as just finding another one if you come across a bad one. The impact of a bad therapist on a person is indelible. You mentioned, OP, that \"People don't have the ability to choose whether or not to be born, so why can't we have the right to choose to leave this world as adults?\" I think you're right. We do have the right to leave this world, but that shouldn't be our reason for leaving. We should live for our parents, best friends, loved ones, children, and most importantly, for our own curiosity, desire for good food, and the bustling world we want to see. For all these things, we should do everything we can to live well until our lives can no longer continue. Believe that everything will pass and things will get better~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, facing the inner pain, you choose to seek psychological counseling. This is a very good way to relieve yourself. There is no problem with this behavior. When you feel abandoned and desperate, coming here for help is a responsible act towards yourself. It is wise to actively seek a way out for yourself. Why did you have such emotions after counseling? Did you have these emotions before? You need to think about it. There is a gift behind every emotion. If you want to save yourself, seeking help is one aspect, but more importantly, it is your own awareness. If you have had this emotion before, being afraid of abandonment and seeking dependence, and the counselor has once given you a sense of acceptance, when you cut off contact with him, you may feel that you have lost your dependence and feel abandoned. You really need to face and deal with this energy on your own. Behind this is a longing for love and acceptance. Everyone has their own lessons to overcome in life. Regardless of what happens, the first step is acceptance. Accept your current situation, accept your low and sluggish state. Acceptance is not compromise. Don't let this state control you. Actively seek ways to save yourself. The best teacher is yourself. The best way to improve yourself is to return to your bodily sensations, pay attention to your body. In the state of despair, how is your breathing, be aware of your own breathing, how does your body feel, where is it tense, is there any discomfort? Just look at it, don't escape, even if it's very uncomfortable, feel that discomfort. Not resisting is a great release and permission. If you do this repeatedly, you will find that the influence of negative emotions on you becomes smaller and smaller. When you feel inclined and willing to move, try to move more, taking a walk in nature is a great way to cleanse yourself. Spend more time in the sun, do things that make you feel good. The process of saving yourself requires patience. It is a process of accompanying yourself in return. In the process of continuous self-exploration, you will have the power to choose when facing emotions, instead of being trapped by them. I hope you find the inner light and stop seeking it externally. May you become the master of yourself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there, I hope you can open the music and play Hua Chenyu's song \"Seems to Love This World\". I hope this song can bring you some comfort. First, let's look at the main issue. After following the doctor's guidance, you started to realize your problem. Now let's see how to solve it. 1. Learn to accept. After realizing the problem, we need to learn to accept it. It may be difficult at first, but don't worry, take it slowly, everyone is waiting for you to overcome it. 2. Psychological growth. Our minds are not mature enough, and everyone lacks maturity. I recommend that you read the book \"The Road Less Traveled\", which is about psychological growth. Maybe you will gain something from it. 3. Keep going. Everyone will encounter their own dark side, but if you can get through it, you win. So, be brave and keep going, think about the people who love you and whom you love. Keep it up! I hope my answer can help you. Take care.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug the questioner~ The process of contemplating life is always painful. Sometimes we may question why we came to this world, why life is so difficult that death seems like a better option. But we never seem to find any answers. The sound of the question's bounty amount also sounds like \"death\", and the thought of death still lingers in your mind as you ask this question. I wonder what you experienced in the consultation the day before yesterday, if this consultation made you feel uncomfortable, have you considered changing to a counselor who suits you better? As adults, why don't we have the right to choose to leave the world? Every day, many people die in the world. Of course, we have the right to choose to leave the world, but to put it in political terms, rights and obligations are inseparable. We live in this world, and obligations always outweigh rights. We can only exercise our rights after fulfilling our obligations. So, ask yourself, have I made myself happy? Have I lived a fulfilling life? Have I lived my life in a way that reflects who I am, rather than what my parents wanted? The topic of suicide is discussed by many people. The fact that it receives more attention has made people more sensitive and gentle in trying to suppress thoughts of suicide. At the same time, it has also provided a seemingly solution for many people, thinking that after death, they don't have to do anything and won't experience the difficulties of life anymore, so why not? However, when following your instinct to die, please don't forget that you still have the instinct to live. Until the very end, your body and brain will struggle and strive to keep you alive. (I believe this is why we should cherish life. We should not let momentary thoughts deprive us of the right to live.) I happen to be watching 'Saw' recently, my second time watching it. I no longer consider it as a horror film. On the contrary, I feel that what it truly wants to convey is that \"people should cherish life and not wait until the end of life to suddenly realize that they don't want to die.\" When you have thoughts of death, close your eyes for 13 seconds and enjoy the calmness in the darkness. When you have thoughts of death, go to the market and experience the strongest smell of humanity. When you have thoughts of death, do something else to distract yourself, read a book, listen to music, go for a run, anything is fine. (There are many methods online to regulate mood.) When you don't know who to confide in, come to us, everyone is willing to feel the beauty of life with you~ We and the world both love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello! I see your confusion and I want to give you a hug, hoping to bring you some warmth. I noticed that you mentioned feeling low because of providing psychological counseling to others. First of all, we need to acknowledge that mental health counselors, just like everyone else, are ordinary people and it is normal for them to experience problems in their mental well-being. Therefore, it is important to face your own confusions and not avoid them. Additionally, being a mental health counselor is a profession that involves solving the psychological issues of others, which can be very demanding. When dealing with the struggles of others, it is easy for one's own emotions and mental state to be affected, and communication between mental health counselors is often limited. Under the constant pressure of various psychological issues, it is easy for a person to feel overwhelmed. Your current problem may be a result of neglecting your own needs and magnifying them, and it's possible that you can relate to the emotional experiences of those you provide counseling to. I sense that you may have spent too much time focusing on other people's psychological issues. It would be helpful if you could take some time to focus on your own life. Pay more attention to your hobbies, socialize with friends, and spend time with your family, etc. Make sure to leave some space for yourself. When you feel exhausted and drained, take a moment to immerse yourself in your inner world and find out the cause of the problem. If your \"positive energy\" supply is running low, take a break and seek support from friends and family to replenish. When you feel confused and tangled up in various emotions and experiences, causing a change in your perception of life and the world, try to completely pause your work and go out more, allowing your body and mind to relax. Each period of exhaustion can also mean growth, so don't be too afraid of this feeling. It's important to treat yourself as an ordinary person. Besides communicating with colleagues, try to get to know like-minded individuals, improve the quality of your life, and absorb positive energy and perspectives. Finally, I hope that you can adjust your state of mind as soon as possible, temporarily divert your attention, and ease the distress and confusion caused by various emotions, giving yourself some space. Take care!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11637 + }, + { + "question": "Chatting likes to make fun of others, am I suffering from anxiety disorder?", + "description": "When chatting with others, I feel superior and like to challenge people. Today, in a group chat, a member of the group sent an emoji of someone not wearing clothes. The content of the emoji was the Emperor's New Clothes. I responded by saying, \"Why is the king not wearing any clothes?\" The group member replied, \"It's more breezy this way.\" At that moment, driven by my sense of superiority, I responded to him, saying, \"I don't like dressing like this because it shows off my private parts.\" Then another group member chimed in and asked, \"Well, how do you like to dress?\" My response to him was, \"I like to dress while lying down.\" After that, when I sent messages, no one responded to me. I've been thinking about this incident and I just can't take it anymore. So, I came to ask a psychologist, do I have anxiety disorder, or am I just bad at chatting?", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP~ \u203bFrom OP's narration, it is understood that OP feels anxious about not receiving a response after expressing their opinions with just an emoji in a group chat, and believes this is because they have a tendency to argue with others. Therefore, OP is worried if they have anxiety disorder. I understand your current feelings, but first let's understand what symptoms are associated with anxiety disorder. The main symptoms include: (1) feeling sad and empty, (2) lack of motivation or interest in activities, (3) feeling worthless or guilty, (4) loss of appetite and weight loss, (5) insomnia or excessive sleep, (6) easily becoming fatigued, (7) difficulty concentrating, (8) thoughts of death or suicide. Based on your description, your reactions may be due to sensitivity rather than anxiety disorder. In the internet era, many people do not like to reply to messages in groups. Because excessive information occupies too much of our mental resources and affects our normal lives, so many people choose not to reply. This is a common issue in the internet era and not targeted at you specifically, so you can relax. In the group chat, try to discuss topics that interest everyone or are beneficial to their mental and physical well-being, which can effectively avoid incidents of not receiving responses. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ From the description given by the OP, I understand that the OP's concern is about not knowing if their way of speaking and the content is correct. They are worried that they may have behaved inappropriately during conversations with others. In regards to this, I have a few suggestions that might help. Firstly, we should avoid speculating and putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves. In this regard, we can try asking friends who were also part of the conversation or have someone we trust review the content, so they can provide the OP with a more accurate judgment and share their thoughts. This can help us confirm other people's perspectives. On the other hand, the OP mentioned feeling superiority and enjoying arguing during conversations. If the OP is already aware of this, it might be helpful to consciously reduce the negative impact of these emotions during future conversations. For example, if the same emotions or situation arise again, consciously exit the chat box and distract yourself with something else to shift your attention. Avoid sending messages before thinking, and take time to calmly consider the reply that the other person or others might expect in that particular situation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11185 + }, + { + "question": "Why do I always feel like I'm the one being bullied? Am I easy to bully?", + "description": "I live in an old residential area where we take turns paying the water bill. However, every time it's my turn, there's always a problem. Everyone knows that someone in the neighborhood has a water leak, but no one admits to it. No one is willing to share the extra water bill, but I've already paid for all of it. Not a single person has given me their share of the water bill. Does it make me feel like they're taking advantage of me?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your feelings of helplessness and frustration. However, there are two points in your question that you need to think about: 1. Why do you always encounter problems when it's your turn to collect the water fee? When you say \"problems,\" do you mean water leakage? Why does it always happen to you? What's the reason behind it? Is it just a coincidence? 2. You are responsible for collecting the water fee, but it doesn't mean you have to pay all of it upfront. Why do you choose to do that? After understanding these two points, think about why you always feel like you're being taken advantage of. Is it only happening in this particular situation, or does it occur in many other instances as well? Has it always been like this, or is it a recent development? However, based on this particular incident, if everyone takes turns collecting the water fees, I believe some people wouldn't pay upfront and don't have the obligation to do so. The best solution would be to identify which household is experiencing the water leakage and carry out necessary repairs. It is inappropriate to pay upfront without getting approval from others and then expect them to reimburse you. By doing this, you are taking on the risk of not being able to collect the money unless you are prepared to bear the loss if someone doesn't pay. Dealing with a large group of people naturally comes with psychological pressure, and the group may have a tendency to bully the weaker ones. Therefore, in this situation, you need to think more carefully and not act unilaterally, only to later feel like you've been taken advantage of. When a person is strong enough, they won't constantly feel like they're being bullied by others. These are just some superficial thoughts from Hongyu. I hope they can be helpful to you. If you find them useful, please remember to click the \"helpful\" button. Thank you for your question.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug to the OP~ Through the matter of the OP paying the water fee, it can be seen that the OP is actually a responsible and kind person. Thumbs up to you. Seeing that the OP mentioned \"every time,\" it means that the OP has done this more than once. I think the OP can first ask other residents in the residential area how they deal with such situations. For example, whether they have also paid in advance or received a shared fee, etc. If everyone else has also paid in advance, then the OP doesn't need to think too much. If everyone else has received a shared fee, you can ask for specific methods for reference. So there may still be a situation where you are kind enough to pay in advance, but at first everyone is grateful, and later it becomes a habit that they think it should be done. It can be frustrating when you do good deeds and others don't appreciate it. If their behavior makes you uncomfortable, the OP can learn to refuse appropriately, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. The most important thing at present is to communicate with everyone again and understand the specific situation. Otherwise, we will not be able to solve the problem by speculating and assuming here. The OP is a kind person, so don't casually deny yourself or label yourself, and leave the smile to those who are more deserving of our help and gratefulness. Lastly, I wish the OP success in life and work! Let's keep going! The world and we all love you~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I have read your description of this situation. Since it is done in rotation, have you observed or asked others about how they handle it? Is it only when you are in charge that the issue of needing to pay for water arises? Would others not encounter the same situation? It seems that you have this idea that the person who tampered with the water will automatically realize and pay you back. But if someone is so conscientious, why would they take the risk of stealing water in the first place?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 71 + }, + { + "question": "What should I do if someone finds out about masturbation?", + "description": "It feels really difficult, unable to move on, feeling unhappy, lacking confidence in life.", + "keywords": "Emotions, guilt and shame, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "What happened and how did people find out? What were you thinking at that time? I'm not sure how old you are, are you going through puberty? It seems like there is a sense of shame when it comes to masturbation. Actually, masturbation is a very normal behavior, just like eating, it is a safe, healthy, and convenient way to release sexual tension. Some people even use tools to enhance pleasure, and you can buy all kinds of tools online. This is just a part of self-indulgence, like enjoying food. Even people with sexual partners sometimes masturbate occasionally, maybe for convenience. Of course, if you are excessively indulging, you should consider whether you are using this as a way to escape from something.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 7266 + }, + { + "question": "University, much worse than others, feeling useless, can't do anything well.", + "description": "When I was young, my parents used to tell me that I was not as good as other children. At that time, I still had the determination to compete and strive. However, after entering college, I realized that I was really inferior to other people in many aspects. I couldn't do anything well. I had intended to help, but often ended up causing trouble and inconvenience to others. Gradually, I didn't like to talk to other people because I felt that they were so good and I shouldn't bother them. Now, I feel very inferior and lonely. Sometimes, I even think that it would be better to die so that I don't have to worry about anything anymore.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Author, hello: The reason why you feel inferior to yourself is because you have grown up and face more challenges, and take on more layers of pressure. You are no longer the child you used to be. You have your own thoughts and will not think like a child, thinking that you are still young and have plenty of time, nor will you find various reasons because you are young. Instead, you take more initiative to take on responsibilities. I feel sorry for you because your parents also have strict expectations of you and have placed a lot of pressure on you. It's normal for you to worry about making mistakes. You may think that your parents dislike you because you don't do well and you are not as outstanding as other children. But in fact, it's not a bad thing if you can't do some things well now, and it doesn't particularly affect a person. You don't need to demand too much from yourself, give yourself some confidence and time to gradually reconcile. You, on the other hand, care too much about other people's feelings. You always think it's your fault and blame yourself. There is no need to deliberately please others. If someone really cares about you, you don't have to try to make them like you. Hopefully, you can be more positive and happy. You have more than you can imagine, so don't give up on your dreams. Keep going! (\u0e07\u2022\u0300_\u2022\u0301)\u0e07", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3192 + }, + { + "question": "16-year-old male, has been depressed for two years, and his mood tends to suddenly become irritable.", + "description": "For the past two years, I have experienced sudden irritability, secretly throwing things in anger and feeling constantly sad. I frequently suffer from headaches. I have attempted to jump off a building, but my mother stopped me, and I also frequently take medication.", + "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological crisis, mental disorders.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, you mentioned that you have been depressed for two years. Have you seen a psychologist and actively sought treatment? Emotional outbursts are often a result of inner suppression, not knowing how to express and release emotions. As a result, it manifests as irritability and anger. Therefore, I think it is important to communicate with your parents and ask them to take you to see a psychologist or counselor. It is crucial to express the thoughts and feelings that have been suppressed in your mind in order to find inner peace. You mentioned that you often take drugs. What do you mean by \"taking drugs\"? Are you referring to recreational drugs? Initially, you might have taken drugs to alleviate your pain, but you need to understand that it is a temporary relief and will only lead to greater suffering. Drugs and other substances can cause significant harm to your body, particularly to your nervous system, and may result in irreversible damage. While you may feel temporary relief and relaxation in that moment, once you stop taking these substances, you may not be able to experience true happiness and joy anymore. Instead, you will rely on more and more drugs to numb yourself, causing you to fall into an endless cycle of pain. If by \"taking drugs\" you don't mean recreational drugs, you should still be cautious. Regardless of the type of medication, it should always be taken under the guidance of a doctor, as it can cause significant harm to your body if misused. No matter how long you have been taking drugs, it is important to turn back and seek help from a doctor and others. Believe that there are better ways to help you break free from your current state. Remember, you're only sixteen, and everything is still possible! Sending you a virtual hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20751 + }, + { + "question": "Excessive thinking, unable to stop at all, as if must find a definite answer?", + "description": "I am 39 years old and I always think about what if I get into a train collision? What if the plane I am on crashes? What if there is an earthquake when I am traveling? These thoughts just won't stop, and they make me feel very anxious and tense when they come to mind. I can't fall asleep at night, as if I must find a definite answer. This phenomenon has been happening since high school.", + "keywords": "Emotion, depressed emotion, anxious emotion", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner, I can feel your anxiety. Many people experience this phenomenon. The issue lies in excessive worry about things that have not happened, which keeps your nerves constantly tense, leading to anxiety and insomnia. The pressure of modern life is too great. Facing the pressure of exams in childhood, and then the pressures of work and life as we grow older, there are always things to worry about in every stage of life. I can truly understand how you feel. Here are some suggestions that might help you:\n\n1. Change your mindset and stay calm: to alleviate this dilemma, the most important thing is to change your mindset. Tell yourself that even if something bad happens, it's not a big deal. Prepare for the worst and think of solutions. The problems you are worrying about do happen in society every day. Face them with a more detached attitude. Whether these things happen or not is beyond your control. Fussing over them all day will only add to your troubles. It is better to go with the flow and at least allow yourself to live more calmly in the present moment.\n\n2. Cultivate your ability to handle unexpected situations: Learn some emergency measures so that you know how to escape and self-rescue when danger strikes. Once you have mastered self-protection skills, you will face danger more calmly and no longer feel as fearful.\n\n3. Cherish the present and enjoy life: The meaning of life lies in enjoying the beauty of the present moment. If you worry too much about things that have not yet happened, you will only make yourself miserable. Cherish every day, go out into the world, read books, exercise, make more friends, and taste various cuisines... Do things you love to make your life more fulfilling. When you're young, go out and explore the world; your mindset and perspective will change.\n\n4. Shift your attention and keep yourself busy: When you are alone and free, especially when you tend to overthink, do something to keep yourself busy. Go for a run, practice boxing, sing, or tidy up the house while listening to music. When your attention is diverted, you won't be so focused on these thoughts. Properly organize your daily schedule and strive to make your life more fulfilling. I hope you can overcome this dilemma and live a happy and joyful life soon.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Whether it's positive or negative thinking, your ability to come here and ask for help shows that you are already aware. Various problems will always arise in life, and what we fear the most is not recognizing or choosing to ignore them. What should we do if the train crashes? What should we do if the plane crashes while traveling? What should we do if there is an earthquake when we go out? This kind of thinking doesn't stop, it makes us nervous and anxious, unable to sleep all night, as if we must find a definitive answer. As a 39-year-old questioner, you must have been tormented by catastrophizing thinking for more than 20 years. Catastrophizing thinking has three obvious characteristics: \u2460 highly overestimating the consequences of failure and the likelihood of things getting worse; \u2461 always picturing the bad outcome in your mind, creating various scenes of failure and disaster that you can't escape from; \u2462 being sensitive and suspicious, always prepared for battle like a startled bird. Although you clearly know how terrible catastrophizing thinking is, you still fall into it because your brain excessively interprets bad things in a pessimistic way. The American psychologist Ellis created a well-known theory called the ABC theory of emotions, which states that the triggering event A is only the indirect cause of emotional and behavioral consequences C, and the direct cause of C is the individual's cognition and evaluation of the triggering event A, which leads to negative emotions and behavioral obstacles, not directly caused by a specific triggering event A, but by the incorrect cognition and evaluation of the individual experiencing this event, which is called irrational beliefs. A \u2192 B1 \u2192 C1; A \u2192 B2 \u2192 C2; A--cause; B--belief; C--result. In other words, different thoughts will lead to different results for the same event. The event itself does not affect people, they are influenced by their perception of things. How to avoid catastrophizing thinking? \u2460 Recognize your automatic thoughts; \u2461 Identify emotions; \u2462 Evaluate your automatic thoughts; \u2463 Respond to automatic thoughts; \u2464 Identify and correct core beliefs. Questioner, a couple sentences cannot explain it clearly, there is a book called \"Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Foundations and Applications\" that you can read. This book is easy to understand, even readers without a background in psychology or those who have never been exposed to cognitive therapy can learn how to appropriately treat themselves. Best wishes to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, through your description, I feel that it is a manifestation of excessive anxiety. Excessive anxiety may be caused by excessive pressure, which leads to worrying about everything around you. You mentioned that it started from high school, maybe it was initially due to academic pressure, and then pressure from life or career. I actually understand you. Whenever you feel anxious, excessive worry can make you feel fearful and you will be eager to break free from this emotion. You may repeatedly contemplate these irrational behaviors and your painful anxious emotions, trying to convince yourself, but this will only lead you to a vicious cycle. However, when you are anxious, you can shift your attention or think about positive and joyful things. For example, go for a run or listen to soothing music. If you go traveling, what can you gain from it? You can plan your itinerary and visit attractions. Instead of worrying, it is more about looking forward to it. You can also use psychological suggestions to tell yourself that this feeling is only temporary and it will disappear soon. There is no need to get caught up in finding the result or answer to your excessive anxiety. I hope this can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ Sometimes I also experience this phenomenon of excessive thinking, and I always think in a negative direction. In such situations, I feel very bad, very anxious and nervous. Hugs to you~ From my perspective, in order to prevent or reduce the troubles caused by excessive thinking, you can: shift your perspective and think in a positive way. For example, the probability of things like a train collision, a plane crash, or an earthquake while traveling is relatively low in real life. We tend to focus on special events and ignore probabilities. At this time, try not to think too seriously and give yourself some comfort. If it still doesn't work, I think you can think about the happy things that have happened to you, such as some beautiful moments in life, things that made you happy today, or you can shift your attention by doing some exercise, watching a movie, or chatting with friends. You can also talk seriously with your family about your feelings and state of mind, being accompanied by your family may be more effective. Give yourself some psychological suggestions: none of these things will happen. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, sir, I understand your feelings very well, and I think you need to focus on changing your mindset and logic. Your attention often revolves around what the problem is. In fact, the time required to go from complex to simple is very short, you just need to change your way of thinking. What I mean is to focus on simple principles and bypass complicated processes. It's like crossing a bridge. Do you see this bridge as a straight line or a curve? Then calculate how many steps you need to take and how much time it will take to walk across it. The result is the cost you pay to cross the bridge. However, many people focus on other things: there is a fast-flowing river several meters below the bridge, what if I fall into it? These are indeed problems, but when you see complexity, an endless number of complicated things will come to your mind. We need to find the power of simplicity from them. It is the ability of a person to grasp the most powerful rules, discover the most fundamental secrets, and then act swiftly. You clearly have an extroverted personality type, and you focus on many possible things. My advice is to focus on the things right in front of you, wait and see until things really happen, and then think about how to solve them. At the same time, do you know the meaning and purpose of your actions? What are you doing? Does it benefit you? We should analyze things from multiple perspectives, rather than just considering the possibilities of other things. I also recommend listening to calming songs or playing games or chatting with friends when you feel anxious. Finally, I wish you the best in changing your mindset, as it can only change your attitude. I wish you happiness every day.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "You are very anxious, feeling anxious about things that haven't happened or won't happen, and unable to stop your thoughts. Sometimes you may even set aside time specifically to think about these issues. Firstly, I want to say that I understand this very well, and secondly, I want to tell you that \"if you want to be happy, you really can't think too much.\" This is because when you engage in activities that interest you or keep yourself busy, you can reduce the amount of time you spend alone and thinking about these things. Lastly, this type of behavior indicates a lack of security, where the uncertainties and insecurities of the outside world lead you to think in the most negative way possible. It is important to find methods that make you feel secure. I wish you happiness.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your state of \"worrying about the worries of the world.\" When you go out, you worry about whether you have locked the door or turned off the electricity. You worry about not finishing things or feeling anxious about things that have not happened yet. Actually, you can try to believe in yourself. If you are traveling, check the weather, flights, and routes beforehand. Then go relax and experience a different way of life with peace of mind. You can write down the things you need to accomplish in a notebook and take them one by one. Keep going, life is meant to be simple.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14828 + }, + { + "question": "Should I confess when I make mistakes at work? How should I handle it?", + "description": "I made a mistake at work, but currently no one knows about it and it is unknown whether there will be any adverse consequences. I am feeling very anxious now, fearing that the things I worry about will come true, and I also feel guilty. At the same time, I feel like I am a dishonest person because I didn't proactively tell my supervisor that I made a mistake, and I have let down the trust others have in me. However, when it comes to being honest, I have many concerns. Firstly, I am afraid of severe punishment. Secondly, because no consequences have occurred yet, I still have a sense of luck. Lastly, it has been more than half a month since I made the mistake, and it seems that I have missed the best time to confess. So, what should I do?", + "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace interpersonal relationships, work pressure.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, good evening! To put it simply, making mistakes is bound to happen, especially in the workplace. The consequences of making mistakes can vary, some are direct and intense, while others may be subtle or even hidden, seemingly going unnoticed. I understand your current state of mind, feeling anxious, scared of facing strict consequences, yet also hoping to avoid confessing and receive leniency. The question is, what is the right choice? Human intuition is often strange, the subconscious mind can provide accurate answers to certain things or situations in a short amount of time. You might want to ask yourself, how do you feel right now? Which emotion is stronger, worry or relief? Which fear is stronger, fear of the consequences or fear of punishment? By identifying these conflicting points, you can reflect on yourself and become aware of your feelings. The advantage of doing this is that it allows you to quickly understand the answer within your mind and helps you relax sooner. Being in an anxious state is not the right state to be in. If it has already started affecting your normal life, then it's important to face the problem. Carefully recall the events, and use professional investigation to anticipate the consequences of the mistake. If possible, consider proactively discussing this matter with a trusted superior. Superiors often assess the severity of the situation and should provide assistance to you. At the very least, it will provide a sense of relief in your mind and body. Opening up is not about trying to receive lenient treatment, but rather showing a positive attitude towards your work. This is not contradictory to making mistakes. Some mistakes are inevitable. However, taking work seriously and being able to learn from mistakes is truly a commendable quality. Especially if this mistake can be remedied to some extent, leaders will value employees who have overcome their mistakes. I hope the above content can be helpful to you. Simplicity in thinking and methods often yield the most effective results. The sky is blue, you are here, life can be beautiful! The world loves you, and I love you too!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "After reading the description of the original poster, I'm not sure how serious this mistake is. Regardless of whether it is serious or not, if it can be remedied, it may not be necessary to inform others. After all, leaders only care about the results. However, if you are unable to remedy it and cannot predict the potential impact, it is best to inform others. Although you may face some punishment, at least you can have peace of mind. In terms of attitude towards work, I personally believe that: first, being truthful is an important principle in dealing with people, and admitting mistakes is an important virtue for individuals, whether in learning, life, or work. Second, when a mistake is made, it should be honestly communicated to the leader. This includes providing an overview of the situation, explaining the reasons for the mistake, summarizing the lessons learned, and outlining future efforts. Third, generally speaking, if a mistake is honestly communicated to the leader and does not cause serious consequences, most leaders will forgive and accept it. However, if serious consequences arise, you may be reprimanded by the leader. In such cases, you should humbly accept the lesson and avoid having any resistance. Please note that the above suggestions are for reference only.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 20395 + }, + { + "question": "Is there fairness in society when workers are not paid their wages? No, there isn't. Am I too kind-hearted?", + "description": "I have been owed five months of wages from work, and when I asked for the payment, I was accused of having an inappropriate relationship with someone. I was even summoned by the police for allegedly trespassing on someone's property. The boss who owes me wages has resorted to self-harm and fabricating documents. Now I am waiting for the final outcome, feeling very disappointed and angry. This society is very harsh and unfair. I have repeatedly tried to become stronger, aiming to provide a good life for my only mother. However, I have been deceived time and time again. Is it because I am too kind-hearted? I once wanted to be a person who spreads positivity, but this dark world has made me feel discouraged. I want to bring them to justice with my own sense of righteousness.", + "keywords": "Behavior, attack.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I am sorry that you have experienced these unfair things and I feel deeply sorry. Like you, I am an ordinary person and sometimes I also feel that the world is unjust. There are many problems that I cannot solve or cope with, so I feel angry and even despair towards the world and myself. Sometimes these emotions make it difficult for my mind to stop and rest, and push me into even worse and more terrible situations. Perhaps you are currently going through such a process? Fortunately, you have chosen to seek help on a professional platform, which is a very wise and lucky choice. As a practitioner in mental health, we cannot help you recover economic justice (perhaps you can seek legal assistance from public interest organizations in this regard), but we may be able to help you alleviate your anger so that you can continue to focus on the issues that need to be resolved (such as finding a lawyer, continuing to fight for your rights, etc.). Unfortunately, I am not personally skilled in handling cases like yours. As mentioned earlier, there are problems that I cannot cope with, but this does not mean that others cannot. Beijing Crisis Research and Intervention Center provides a 24-hour free helpline at 010- [phone number], where you can seek help anytime with peace of mind. Written communication is far less real than telephone communication. There are not only unfairness but also a lot of uncertainty in this world - if we don't give up on ourselves, there will always be opportunities. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15503 + }, + { + "question": "23-year-old female, my parents do not agree with me cohabitating, what should I do?", + "description": "Currently, I am studying for my master's degree in Guangzhou. Due to the pandemic, I have been living with my parents for over five months. I have been in a stable relationship with my boyfriend for over two years, and he is currently working in Guangzhou. As the summer vacation approaches, I want to go to Guangzhou for an internship. However, my parents strongly oppose the idea of me renting an apartment with my boyfriend. They try to convince me by saying things like \"he may not be your future husband\" or \"men care a lot about a woman's past.\" But my perspective on love and marriage has always been quite open-minded. In fact, I have had several boyfriends and have had sexual experiences, which I don't see as an issue. This current relationship makes me feel secure and happy, and it's disheartening to see my parents' disapproval. Today, my mother even said with a serious tone that she would rather spend more money for me to rent an apartment than let me live together with my boyfriend. But I believe that I am already an adult, and I am going for the internship without asking my parents for any money. This decision is my own, but my parents' strong emotions about it make me feel uncomfortable. On one hand, I feel that it's right to stand by my own thoughts, but on the other hand, I am angry and frustrated by my parents' lack of understanding. It's also difficult for me to accept that I can't live my life authentically the way I want to.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Encountering such a situation can indeed be quite difficult and I understand your feelings. In the process of psychological counseling, counselors often explore the essence of certain issues with visitors, as many problems have underlying causes. Simply treating the symptoms won't truly solve the problem. We all know the famous story in \"Water Margin\" where Lu Zhishen fought Zhen Guanxi. Lu Zhishen asked for ten pounds of lean meat without any fat, and when Zhen Guanxi prepared it, Lu Zhishen asked for ten pounds of pure fat without any lean meat. This went on until Lu Zhishen asked for ten pounds of crispy bones without any flesh inside, and finally found an excuse to beat him up. It's a bit like finding a reason to accuse someone when you want to. Returning to your situation, is the conflict with your parents really caused by this incident alone? Is this the only thing they don't understand about you? If they accept this incident, will you be able to live the life you want without any worries? In 1982, psychologist Oona Freeman published a paper called \"The Existence of a Mother is to Make the Child Leave,\" which caused widespread discussion. People began to ponder this issue. The process of a person's growth is essentially the completion of separation and individuation. If during this separation process, parents hold onto their children tightly, believing that the children belong to them and neglecting the objective fact that the children exist as independent individuals, strong conflicts and contradictions will arise. As children, they will feel that if they want to pursue their own value and independence, it will inevitably hurt their parents' emotions. Many people describe that they are afraid of hurting their parents, afraid of disappointing them, afraid of \"breaking\" them, and therefore experience strong feelings of guilt. On the other hand, if they cannot be independent, it means they will always depend on their parents and allow their parents to control them. They have to choose their lives, their jobs, and everything according to their parents' wishes. This will make them very uncomfortable, feeling that they are incapable, hating themselves, and experiencing a strong sense of repression. In other words, in this situation, whatever choice the child makes, they will feel terrible. Therefore, as children, we must allow our parents to be disappointed in us, because no child can completely meet their parents' expectations. At the same time, as parents, they also need to face the feelings of separation and loss that their children experience during their growth process. I know for most, if not all, parents, this is a difficult and painful process. When you face the fact that your child is growing up, no longer relying on you or needing you as before, and when they have different thoughts and cannot fully meet your expectations, this sense of pain and loss is undoubtedly cruel. Sometimes, this process will even challenge parents' dignity as individuals. So, to some extent, as an already grown-up \"child,\" you don't have to agree with your parents' unwillingness to \"let go,\" but please understand that in the relationship between you and your parents, the intense emotions and feelings expressed by them, and even the hurtful words in your opinion, often come from their own life, from the pain and sense of loss they experience when facing the act of \"letting go.\" Your absolute compliance and obedience cannot truly solve their inner doubts and frustrations. So, you need to allow your parents to be disappointed in you, while also allowing and helping them to experience the difficulties and challenges they must go through in their own growth process. In this matter, do your parents' words make sense? Yes, they do. It is indeed possible that the situations they mentioned may occur. However, the problem is that reason is not truth. These reasons are just a kind of logic, a kind of value. When you clearly understand and are willing to accept them, they become unimportant. If you cannot be independent in terms of life, economy, and personality, then this conflict is likely to continue. Of course, independence does not mean losing emotional connection with your parents. It's just that the degree of independence needs to be balanced. This process may be accompanied by arguments, sadness, pain, and even feelings of anger and depression, but at the same time, it will also be accompanied by a sense of intimacy, love, and the repair and rebuilding of the relationship, allowing our lives to be sublimated together! I wish you a happy life!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Due to different eras and perspectives, parents and children may have disagreements on many things, especially for more conservative parents, there are certain behaviors they cannot accept. The parents have these concerns because they worry that you will be at a disadvantage in this relationship. Another consideration is future marriage. If you and your partner are already at the stage of discussing marriage and soon plan to get married, I believe that parents would not be so opposed. As someone of the same age as you, I personally have a more open view on matters related to sex. However, for our parents' generation, certain beliefs are deeply ingrained. Unmarried pregnancy was not accepted by most people in their time. I believe you also do not want your marriage to be a marriage of convenience. With open-mindedness, if precautions are not taken, there may be a chance of pregnancy. If the man is responsible, if both parties get along well and their families are not too concerned, then this matter can still be relatively easily resolved. If the man is not firm enough, or if the man's parents have other thoughts and concerns, then how should we handle the situation after pregnancy? After all, abortion is extremely harmful to girls, while boys often only think with their lower body. Another point is that marriage is not just about the two individuals. If the man's parents are as open-minded as us and do not mind the past of their child, as long as the child is happy, then there would be fewer conflicts. But will the other party's parents think that way? (After all, it is difficult to change the thinking of the older generation.) As a male, my girlfriend and I have been together for many years. When I just graduated, my mother said to me, \"If you cannot marry in the future, then you must not cohabitate with someone else. There are some matters of young people that I cannot intervene in, but you need to consider the girl's reputation and face. You need to have your own principles.\" At first, I didn't take it seriously, thinking that young people should have their own lives. But later on, I understood that marriage is not the same as dating. I also need to consider and be responsible for my partner. After all, not everyone can accept their partner's past without any reservations. Cohabitation and dating have a qualitative difference for most families. We have the ability to do what we can do. Whether or not to cohabitate, we can reconsider. I believe that if the other party truly loves us, they will also consider our emotions. The person who loves us will also consider our feelings and those of our families. Although our parents' thoughts are somewhat outdated, they are only worried that their children will get hurt. We can work together with our partners and strive to enter the sanctity of marriage early, so that everything will be legitimate. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "From your perspective: \u25cb You can accept premarital sex because you believe it has nothing to do with character and is a matter of individual freedom in contemporary times; \u25cb As an adult, independent-thinking woman, you have autonomy over your body and emotions, and you can decide how to express them and to whom; \u25cb Your current relationship makes you feel secure and happy, and you derive joy from it rather than pain and harm. Even if there are some emotional hardships, you believe you can handle them. From your parents' perspective: \u25cb They have more conservative views on sexuality, not intended as a derogatory term, but rather that this notion was applicable and correct in their younger days; \u25cb They hope that your emotions and marriage will not go through or at least experience few setbacks. They do not want premarital sex to affect the quality of your future marriage or cause any harm to you; \u25cb Their concerns are somewhat reasonable, as some men do attach importance to a partner's virginity, linking it to noble morals and character (it can be considered their conquest instinct). They do not mind having relationships with various girlfriends, but have harsh requirements in this aspect when it comes to choosing a wife. If the person you marry has such views and you are not aware of it beforehand, it can easily lead to conflicts. From a holistic perspective: \u25cb You have a very close relationship with your parents. They care about your happiness, and you also care about their opinions. It is normal for there to be differences in certain perspectives between generations. Good communication and mutual understanding can lead to harmony in the end. Do not let a rift develop between you and your parents because of this; \u25cb It is commendable for women to study and work independently, with independent thoughts and attitudes. We can demonstrate this in appropriate ways and earn our parents' trust that we are capable of taking care of ourselves, accepting various experiences in life, and choosing our own path, rather than being seen as a child in need of protection. Then, parents will let go and feel at ease; \u25cb Renting your own place also has its benefits, such as having a space to retreat to when you have a disagreement with your boyfriend, providing a sense of independence. If you really need to be with your boyfriend every day, as long as you demonstrate that you have the ability to take responsibility for yourself, parents will also accept this as an established fact. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there~ I really understand your feelings, sending hugs to you~ It seems that you and your parents have opposing views on sexual concepts, making it difficult to reach a consensus. Your views on love and marriage are very open-minded, while they are relatively conservative. Of course, this can be completely understandable because our generation and our parents' generation have different educational conditions and social environments, and we have differences in many issues. On one hand, it is important to understand them as much as possible. Their beliefs are formed based on their own educational experiences, and there is reason behind their conservative sexual concepts. Having overly open-minded sexual views may harm oneself. On the other hand, I suggest considering their suggestions appropriately. In fact, you can still do as you wish but choose a more cautious approach. You can tell your parents what kind of person your boyfriend is, how you intend to handle this relationship, and how you plan to deal with problems...I believe you truly want to nurture this relationship well. Many times, parents worry because they do not understand the circumstances you are in, just like when we were children, our parents did not forbid us from going out to play, they were just anxious about when we would return, where we would go to play, and who we would play with. Sometimes they try to prevent us. So, telling them some information they are interested in would put their minds at ease and also give you more freedom. Of course, as a girl, you need to learn to protect yourself in all aspects. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The main question is very typical. Let's first consider the issue of whether or not to cohabit before marriage and how to reconcile differences in views with parents. First of all, it seems that we tend to support cohabitation, and it is clear that you are an independent and mature girl. Based on my counseling experience, knowing each other before marriage leads to higher stability in marriage. I support you, of course, but when living together, it is important to take safety precautions, not just for pregnancy but also for protecting yourself from diseases, you understand. Secondly, it is important to understand the concerns of parents. After all, you are a girl and parents are afraid that we might be taken advantage of or hurt. However, your parents agree to you going to Guangzhou for an internship, they agree to spend more money, and they do not interfere with your relationship with your boyfriend. Perhaps their way of expressing themselves may not be appropriate and may make you uncomfortable, but understanding your parents is the basis of communication. Thirdly, the purpose of communication is to reach our goals in the face of differences in understanding. Can you tell your parents how good it feels to have such a good father and how happy you are because of that? This way, your parents might be willing to give you more money to rent a house that you can live in by yourself, giving you the freedom to come and go as you please. This arrangement allows you to stay at your boyfriend's place for a couple of days and for him to come over to your place for a couple of days. It also gives you some time and space for yourself. This is convenient for you and your boyfriend, while also respecting your parents' well-meaning intentions. Additionally, this arrangement gives you more autonomy. Fourthly, perhaps this is not a major issue, but rather a power struggle between you and your parents. You feel that you are an adult and can take responsibility for yourself, and you are striving to break free from your parents' subjective thoughts imposed on you, which is why you feel uncomfortable. Behind each of us, there is an invisible family committee. It's good that you are aware of this. For reference only.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The paragraph discusses the internal conflict and anxiety the author feels towards their desire for independence and freedom in their own life, contrasted with the control and coercion imposed by their parents. The author notes a significant difference in attitudes towards love and marriage between themselves and their parents. While the author has had multiple relationships and sexual experiences, their parents vehemently oppose cohabitation before marriage, using arguments such as \"your future partner may not be him\" and \"men will mind your past\" to dissuade the author. As a woman who grew up in the new era of socialism, the author's knowledge, education, and social environment differ greatly from their parents', which can be understood. However, the author's behavior also seems to have an element of rebellion against their parents. The current internal conflict experienced by the author stems from their reluctance or fear in expressing to their parents that they are capable of taking responsibility for their own love and marriage, and that they do not need their parents' control and restraint. This lack of trust and understanding towards their parents causes the author's reaction to inadvertently reinforce the parents' belief in justified control, making it difficult for them to view the author as an adult. In other words, the author's words and actions make the parents feel that the author is still a \"child\" who needs to be \"controlled and protected\" by them in order for them to feel secure. For the parents, perhaps they \"need\" to exert control in this way in order to feel a sense of capability, find value in their role as parents, maintain emotional connection with the author, and alleviate their own sense of loneliness. Under the influence of such a parent-child relationship pattern, misunderstandings and conflicts between the author and their parents increase, resulting in tense and strained relationships and significant impacts on the author's life. Therefore, the author can try to express their thoughts and feelings to their parents, clarify their role and position as an adult, communicate with their parents in a mature manner, while also understanding, accepting, and appreciating the care and love their parents have provided. This will make the parents feel that the author is indeed capable of taking responsibility for their own life as an adult, and that they no longer need to \"control and protect\" the author. At the same time, the author can affirm their love for their parents and their desire to remain connected with them. This will to some extent alleviate the author's internal pressure, promote communication, understanding, and acceptance between the author and their parents, improve the development of their emotional relationship, and allow the author to face their studies and life without being troubled by these current issues.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear, from your parents' behavior, it is evident that they cherish and love you very much, perhaps even more than you love and cherish yourself. You should feel grateful to have such parents. Although you are 23 years old and considered an adult, there are still many things you haven't experienced, so it is understandable that you may not fully understand their actions. However, anyone who has been through a marriage should be able to comprehend your parents' behavior, as well as your own actions. Your every move, including your decision to live together with your boyfriend, is being observed by him. By agreeing to cohabitate, you may have lost some dignity in his eyes. This could directly affect his attitude towards you after marriage. The strength of one's feelings for another person does not depend on how outstanding that person is, but on the level of emotional investment and effort put into the relationship. The more someone invests, the more understanding they will have in the future because they know it is not easy! If you genuinely like someone and want them to be more accepting and tolerant of you, don't rush into their embrace. Dating is a process of screening for compatibility. The most beautiful love is when you can peacefully coexist by simply being yourself. On the other hand, if someone constantly demands that you change, it may not be the best kind of love... I hope you can have a lifelong relationship like the former. I hope this answer can provide you with some help.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to help you. From your parents' perspective, the main reason they do not agree with you cohabiting with your boyfriend is indeed due to their closed-mindedness, which is just a difference in ideology between you. However, your parents' thoughts are not without reason. Even if you have been dating for two years, it does not necessarily mean you will get married in the end, and they are actually afraid that you will get hurt. Parents are the closest people to us, and even if you can't accept their thoughts, they are all for your own good, so you need to respect them. Your mindset is indeed very open. But I have a question, have you been in a relationship before, and does only the current one make you feel calm and happy? These are just your emotional feelings; love is fantasy, marriage is reality. After going through several relationships, I believe you have gained a lot of experience and are more able to choose and seize your own happiness. Your parents objecting to you is because they see the reality and have not focused on your inner feelings. In this regard, your parents have indeed not done well. However, they are elders, so please try to understand. Now there are two choices: First, compromise. Listen to your parents, as you cannot possibly argue with them, it is just that you will be the one who makes the compromise. Living apart is not a big deal since you are both in Guangzhou, and meeting each other will be relatively easy. Living together has one advantage, which is that it will increase intimacy and help you to understand each other better. Second, discuss. Talk to your parents about your thoughts and clarify the situation. Explain to them that living together is actually a simulation of married life, allowing you to see if you are compatible with each other. In reality, when dating, many people only focus on feelings and the pleasure of passion. There is no social pressure. However, once they really get together, they may find that they are not suitable for each other. This becomes an invisible pressure for you. The main thing is to explain. If explaining doesn't work, there is always someone who gives in first. There is no foolproof plan, and there will always be gains and losses. Do not have too much hope, but don't be too disappointed either. I hope your life can turn out the way you want. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I'm around the same age as you. At that time, I was doing an internship and didn't have money to rent a house, so I found a job near my home and stayed at my parents' place. But I never liked that job, so I persisted for less than a year just to gather internship materials and earn some money. I saved up and bought things I liked, and recently I rented a house. Although I really want to live with my boyfriend, I think about my parents' nagging and dissatisfaction, so I chose to rent in the same building. I didn't tell them that it's on the same floor, because they would explode if they knew. I feel like this is my freedom. I'm also in my twenties, and in a few years, I will start my own family. But they always keep a tight watch on me and make me feel uncomfortable living at home. During my university years, I tried to apply to universities in other places, and even when I started dating my boyfriend, I didn't want my family to know. They have conservative thinking and want me to find a boyfriend after I start working. But isn't it normal for college students to have boyfriends? Later, they found out from someone else and asked me why I didn't tell them. You know, it's because of the nagging and the trouble. The most important thing is that every time I came back home from college, they would say it was too early for me to have a romantic relationship. So, I just decided not to let them know. I think you can try living next door first. Although it's not much different from cohabitation, you can still stay together at night. But when it comes to your parents, you can just say you live in the same neighborhood, after all, you don't have to be too detailed. Also, in case you have an argument or something, it's better not to be in the same room. Plus, sometimes you still need a little personal space.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21239 + }, + { + "question": "How to handle new appointment arrangements after already having made plans with someone?", + "description": "At the same time, someone asks you out, but you realize that you have already made plans with someone else earlier, but you don't want to decline (both are equally important), what should you do?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, roommates, classmates.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. At the same time, you already have an appointment, but there is also a friend who wants to make an appointment with you. This makes you feel very conflicted and don't know what to do. If you cannot change the time, and if both appointments are at the same time, you can choose the one that is more important to you, agree to their appointment, and then go to the other appointment later. If what you need to do is not necessarily on that day, you can directly tell the other person that you have something going on at that time and ask if there are other available times for both parties, so that you can schedule these two things separately. If your two friends don't mind, you can also have a joint appointment. You can ask them to accompany you to solve one matter first before resolving the other matter. In our lives, we face many choices every day. You need to learn how to make choices and find ways to solve these problems. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14891 + }, + { + "question": "Being gay, about to start my senior year in high school, how should I confess my feelings to someone I care about?", + "description": "I am a boy, about to enter my senior year of high school. In high school, I met a same-sex friend whom I really want to cherish. It feels like I have strong feelings for him, but at the same time, I want to keep my distance and be a friend who accompanies and listens to him. He is a straight male and has had many girlfriends, but I am gay. I am really afraid that he will leave me if I confess my feelings. What should I do? Sigh.", + "keywords": "Romance, sexual orientation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "First of all, are you sure that you are really gay? I mean, do you feel a sexual attraction? The so-called sexual attraction refers to an energetic attraction, just like the sexual energy between young boys and girls during adolescence, but it doesn't necessarily mean sexual impulse, it can be just sexual energy. This kind of attraction is different from the feeling of elementary school boys and girls playing together and enjoying being together. So, are you sure that your sexual energy is attracted to the same sex rather than the opposite sex? If you are really sure that you are gay, it is difficult for me to advise you whether or not you should come out, because the decision of whether or when to come out as LGBTQ+ is different for everyone, and no one can make that decision for you. It can only be made when you become more mature and make the appropriate decision yourself. At the same time, you also need to consider if the other person is a mature individual who can handle the truth. If you are really struggling right now, you can try seeking support from a school counselor or a professional therapist, or confide in an older person who has a correct understanding and perception of this matter to alleviate your psychological pressure. Currently, the overall social prejudice against homosexuality is becoming lighter and there are many people who can understand this matter correctly.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you.\ufe0f ** The age of high school seniors is during adolescence, and sexual orientation does not completely reflect the true situation. Perhaps many boys at this stage may think that they are seemingly homosexual, but it is not the case - having a dominant mother and a bad relationship with her can lead to a lack of positive experiences in interacting with the opposite sex during the process of growing up. Or it may be due to a father who is too weak, resulting in identification with the father or \"taking in\" the father, becoming a person like him, or lacking paternal or maternal love, and needing a male to rely on due to one's own vulnerability.\ufe0f ** So, for now, there is no need to label yourself as homosexual, instead, focus more thoughts and energy on academics. Whether you are gay or not, you are outstanding enough to find true love in the future. \u03b5 I am here, the world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21881 + }, + { + "question": "Will someone use saying they dislike something you like to express their dislike for you?", + "description": "Roommate. The relationship is okay. I don't really communicate much in the dorm, and our relationship isn't that great either. I don't have any plans to get along well with her. She only talks a lot when she's not studying, but if she's studying, she doesn't say much. She wears noise-canceling headphones and can't hear when others call her. That's how our relationship is. We occasionally have some minor friction, but it passes. However, today another roommate commented on my dressing style, and she said that style leans towards \"girly,\" which I don't like (emphasizing it with a loud voice). I was wearing headphones at the time and ignored it. There was another time before, when they all knew which brand I liked, and during a shopping festival, one roommate mentioned that the brand was on sale. She directly said, \"What's so special about that brand? I don't wear it anymore.\"", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, interpersonal boundaries, empathy.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, nice to meet you. It is actually quite common for someone to express their dislike for something you like as a way of expressing dislike towards you. However, it is important to discern whether they genuinely dislike you or if it is just their personality to express their opinions. For example, during school days, there were those who knew you liked a certain celebrity but still insisted on saying they didn't like them in front of you. These people can be quite frustrating and may even create some distance between you. As the questioner, you seem to have a rather \"neutral\" relationship with your roommate, aiming to maintain a normal relationship without conflicts. However, sometimes it is difficult to deal with someone who enjoys expressing their opinions and constantly talks in your ear, and their comments seem to be directed at you. This makes you question whether she is targeting you, whether she dislikes you, or if she is intentionally using this as a way to convey something. Think back on her opinions of others and keep your distance. 1. It is important to seriously consider how she treats others besides you. If she only exhibits this \"disrespectful\" behavior towards you, then it is acceptable to distance yourself from her and not worry about her words. We cannot easily change the thoughts and opinions of someone who dislikes us, especially when they are just verbal expressions that don't cause us much harm. If not, then try to let go of your bias towards her. Some people are actually good, but the way they speak and behave is not easily understood or accepted, leading to biases. 2. \"If someone discriminates against or excludes you without reason, it only reflects their values and standards, and it has nothing to do with the person being discriminated against.\" Therefore, regardless of what others think, it is their own business. Whether they dislike or like something, it is more important for us to persist in what we like and cherish, rather than being preoccupied with other people's emotions. We are all small mushrooms hoping for a gentle world, giving ourselves time to grow freely.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello girl! Seeing your description, it's like going back to my student days, thinking about the most fulfilling and happiest times in campus. However, troublesome roommate relationships can indeed add a lot of annoyance to our studies and daily lives. It's not an exaggeration to say that almost all of life's troubles can find some roots in interpersonal relationships. The relationship between you and your roommate seems to have a feeling of \"a friendship as light as water\", without much expectation. Occasionally, there may be minor frictions, as you said, \"it is what it is!\" So, when your roommate says \"I don't like\" and \"I haven't been wearing that brand for a long time\", is she expressing dislike towards herself? I think this question needs to be analyzed from two aspects. 1. Objectively evaluate your roommate's overall attitude towards you and ask yourself a few questions: \u2460 How does your roommate perceive you? Like/dislike/in between? \u2461 Is it truly the case? Are there any evidence to prove it? \u2462 Are there any exceptions to your conclusion? \u2463 Is she like this with other people, or just you? Doing this can avoid falling into the trap of \"confirmation bias\", which means it is possible that you \"feel in your heart\" that the other person dislikes you, and then \"project\" this thought onto the other person, believing that she really dislikes you. Therefore, in daily life, you may tend to pay attention to her negative comments about you to confirm your own inner thoughts. 2. Take a look at what kind of person your roommate is. There is a saying: emotionally intelligent people never deny what others like! Is your roommate the type of person who speaks casually, is straightforward, and doesn't consider other people's feelings much? If she is that kind of person and has similar verbal behavior towards other roommates, then she may have just made an unintentional slip of the tongue, not targeting you. On the other hand, if your roommate is usually cautious with her words, kind and friendly towards other roommates, then she could indeed be expressing dissatisfaction towards you. After all, love extends to the house and its inhabitants, if love can't be hidden, then dislike may not be hidden either! However, even if she is really expressing dislike towards you, it doesn't matter. We are not born to satisfy others, especially not someone who dislikes us. She is not worthy of us wasting our time and energy. Maintain an appropriate distance, focus on your own affairs, and become better and more outstanding. That is the best counterattack to her! Finally, I wish you a happy life, successful studies, and a happy future!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I understand that you have encountered a roommate who seems unable to express their true thoughts directly. It can be really tiring to deal with someone like that. Virtual hug to you! I hope I can provide you with some support. Regarding what you said about her possibly using things you like against you to express her dislike for you, this situation may indeed exist. However, what I want to tell you is that whether she likes you or not is her own business. Your existence is not for the sake of her liking you, right? At the same time, it is also possible that she is merely expressing her personal preferences for clothing brands and styles, without involving others. Perhaps it just happens to be what you like too. Whatever the case may be, just be steadfast in being yourself! Respond with your own beauty. And if it is indeed the first situation, then it happens to be a signal for you. If both of you don't particularly like each other, then maintain a distance and treat each other politely. What do you think?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1778 + }, + { + "question": "Getting closer leads to rejection and confusion about one's own personality in love?", + "description": "I used to have a boyfriend because I liked someone who was independent, mature, and better than me in every aspect. At first, I thought he was that kind of person, so I started a relationship with him. But after we got together, I never worried about him leaving me. I found that he became increasingly dependent on me and clingy. I'm someone who values personal space a lot. His actions made me feel like he wanted to invade my life, so I rejected him and wanted to push him further away. I had strong hostility towards him. After we broke up, I've been rejecting love all along, thinking that love is about invading my life and trying to plot against me in my territory. Later, I met two guys who were interested in me. At first, I had no problem being friends and having casual conversations. But when they started wanting to voice chat with me and message me every day, showing signs of liking me, I started rejecting them. The positive feelings I had towards them as friends disappeared. I felt like they wanted to possess my life, and my emotions became extreme, just like a fox protecting its territory. I want them to stay away from me. Being friends is fine, but if they get too close, I hate it. Personal space is very important to me. Once they become clingy, I feel like they want to harm me and invade my territory. It makes me become emotionally extreme and irritable, but I still pretend like nothing is wrong. I'm really troubled by my love personality.", + "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can bring you some insights and provide a new perspective. I have read your question and additional information carefully (although it feels more like a personal ad~). Your idea is that you hope to have some distance in a romantic relationship and not be clingy all the time. This is reflected in what you mentioned about wanting to be with someone who is independent, mature, and better than you in everything, and also about being someone who values personal space. Additionally, the part where you said \"I have never worried about him leaving me, and I found that he is becoming more and more dependent on me, clinging to me\" - I sense a hint of disappointment in the first part of this sentence, which is also consistent with your desire to date someone who is better than you. So, I have two points to share. Firstly, I'm not sure if you have someone you genuinely like in mind, rather than just someone who fits a certain type. The people you mentioned are all people who like you (you must be quite outstanding), so I wonder if the reason you don't allow others into your \"territory\" is because you actually don't like them. It's only natural not to let people you don't like enter your domain. Secondly, I'd like to share some personal experience. I personally also find it difficult to tolerate someone who is overly clingy, but I don't reject the idea of them entering my territory, because in the long run, as the relationship deepens, it is necessary to get to know each other better rather than remaining at a surface level. This is the only way for the relationship to further develop. I hope this can help you! (\uff3e\uff35\uff3e)\u30ce~YO.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP! Sending you warm hugs! From your description, I can understand your current mood. Your aversion and resistance towards the opposite sex actually stem from not truly accepting them in your heart. You have a strong defense mechanism. As you mentioned, you are attracted to mature, stable, and independent men who are stronger than you. You also want your own personal space. These all indicate that you are used to being independent and dislike being disturbed or approached. Regarding your issue, I'll share my thoughts to see if they are helpful to you. First, clarify whether you really want a boyfriend or not. From what I can gather, it seems that you are excellent and have a lot of male admirers. However, the only one you respond to is someone who appears mature. But when you realize that the guy is getting too close to you, your interest decreases. This actually shows that these guys don't quite meet your internal standards; it also indicates that you don't have a strong desire for a boyfriend. As an independent person, you are not psychologically prepared for companionship. Second, if you have reached the age where marriage is being discussed, learn to relax your defenses. Everyone has their own personal space from childhood to adulthood, hoping not to be disturbed. But as we grow up, we all have to face how to interact with the opposite sex. After all, there will be some intimate actions in the dating stage! Understand that all of this is normal. When you meet someone you like, relax your guard and enjoy the happiness of love. Don't let your heart reject this normal social interaction. Adapt, accept, and enjoy the happiness of love! Lastly, learn to follow your inner guidance. Don't be too nervous or make yourself emotionally unstable. Learn to accept various friendly gestures from the opposite sex. If you like someone, respond positively; if you don't like someone, learn to reject them, and it's okay to not feel guilty or be extreme and think that you are at fault. Approach everything calmly and don't develop aversion. Maintain inner peace. Because on the path of love, there are no smooth sailing experiences, perhaps you just haven't encountered the guy who will captivate your heart. I hope the above sharing is helpful to you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hehe, let me explain a bit more. I don't reject someone liking me, but I do reject someone becoming overly dependent on me and sticking to me once we are together, making their whole life revolve around me. I just want to break free from that. Sometimes, I hope my partner could be someone who is mature and superior, stronger than me in every aspect, independent, and not constantly reliant on me, and we both have our own personal space with respect. I really like that kind of person.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11906 + }, + { + "question": "Is it normal to have a psychological counseling session that lasts for more than two hours at a time?", + "description": "I brought my child to see a psychiatrist as soon as he said he had depression. The first session took over two hours and cost over a thousand yuan. The doctor said that each session should also be at least two hours long to be effective. Is this normal?", + "keywords": "treatment, psychological counseling, hospital institutions", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "This may not have strict rules. According to the situation of each visitor, there can be some adjustments based on agreements and negotiations between both parties. The general frequency is once a week, for about one hour each time. Some family counseling sessions may be relatively longer. The frequency should not be too high because we also need time to digest, adapt, and change. After stabilizing, the frequency of counseling can be relatively reduced. For example, once every two weeks. Common psychological problems require a process of discovery and resolution, in which the active cooperation of parents plays a significant role. If a child's problem is not formed in one or two days, one should not expect it to be completely resolved in one or two sessions. Psychological counseling also takes time to digest. Once a week is a suitable psychological buffer period for the client to gradually accept and adapt to new changes. Especially for the psychological problems of adolescents, it usually requires the participation of all family members. Psychological counseling also follows certain regularity. If the regularity of counseling is violated, many problems may arise. For example, the problems may reappear once the client leaves the counselor. The counselor guides you with professional knowledge and skills. When you reach a certain point, you will feel that you can handle similar issues on your own, and then we can end the counseling. For clients who have been counseled for more than a month, don't forget to have a separation period counseling with your counselor to dissolve the psychological dependence, so that you can truly face the future independently. The counseling philosophy of the counselor is essential. You can choose a counselor that suits your actual situation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, let me explain about counseling appointments. The setting of psychological counseling can vary greatly depending on different counselors and different situations. For example, some counselors strictly adhere to one hour per session, once a week. Some counselors may have counseling sessions of 3-4 hours with a gap of two to three weeks. Even the same counselor may set different frequencies and durations for different visitors. The setting itself does not determine the professionalism of a mental health practitioner. Secondly, I'm actually quite curious about one thing. Since you have some reservations about this, why not discuss it with your child's doctor and ask about the reasons for such arrangements, the goals, and the work plan? What prevents you from discussing it with the doctor and posting your question on this platform instead? If different responders on this platform have different opinions, how will you judge? Lastly, I would like to talk about a principle for choosing a suitable mental health worker. It's not about choosing someone with great expertise, but rather someone who is a good match for you and your child, someone both of you can trust, so that your work together can be more effective. The relationship between the counselor and the visitor accounts for about 30% of the success rate. Take some time to evaluate and feel it out!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I understand that psychology is a discipline, but now some people are using psychology as if it were Western medicine. They have some minor issues or repressed desires and just read a few books, label themselves with tags, attach labels to others, talk about ideologies and schools of thought, and charge hundreds of dollars per hour, wasting people's time. Psychological counseling should be rich in life experience, knowledgeable about the past and present, and professional knowledge is not the most important thing. They can listen, guide, and see you. That scene should be pleasant, harmonious, and gradually enter a good state. The counselor should be eloquent, speak as little as possible, but what they say is very accurate. Sometimes, when you talk about something, you will feel more comfortable and find some analysis, which can help you identify the crux of the problem. Sometimes, just talking about it, you may generate immunity and healing yourself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11169 + }, + { + "question": "Cannot enter into a long-term intimate relationship? Does not trust the opposite sex enough.", + "description": "The native family demands strictness, authoritative parents, and rarely has their own space. When interacting with boys, they are shy, sensitive, and suspicious, always suspecting others of having ulterior motives.", + "keywords": "Love, managing relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "At the beginning of dating someone unfamiliar, we all have some caution due to our self-protection, especially girls in romantic relationships. Faced with a boy's affection, it is impossible for us to immediately trust him wholeheartedly. How do you know if he is sincere? Trust is earned. If a boy has a crush on you, he must do something that truly touches you and wins your trust, rather than just sweet-talking or taking you out for a few meals. So sometimes, the lack of trust you feel may not necessarily be your problem, but rather that the other person has not done enough. The asker was born into a strict family, so relatively speaking, they may be more psychologically protective. But I think it is not without its benefits. At least you are cautious and less likely to encounter danger. However, to solve the asker's problem, I still recommend you to provide more detailed examples, such as in what situations you become sensitive and suspicious. Only then can we better determine what problems may exist. When do we trust someone? One is time, and the other is whether the other person genuinely cares about you. Maybe I don't trust this person at first sight, but as we continue to interact, what the other person does is crucial. For example, if a boy pursues me intensely, I will feel why he is so proactive when we just met. So I won't get too close to him. But if we continue to spend time together and he continues to be good to me, then I will know that he is sincere, and only then will I open up and befriend him. The asker seems to be a shy and sensitive person, but that doesn't mean you have to force yourself to change your personality and become outgoing, treating everyone like a long-lost friend. I think it's okay to just follow your own personality. Someone who likes you will accept everything about you, including your personality. If they truly appreciate you for who you are, isn't that the most delightful thing?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hi there: Due to the influence of the original family, the protagonist lacks personal space. As they grow older, they tend to become sensitive, shy, and suspicious when dealing with boys. Hugs to you, I completely understand your feelings. During our childhood, due to the authoritarianism of our parents, we would lose our own interests and our behavior would need to be carried out with their permission and demands. The authoritarianism of our parents has a subtle impact on us, and as we grow older, we subconsciously inherit their \"authoritarianism\" and try to control the people around us. Because deep down, we feel that only by controlling others can we achieve freedom. Additionally, growing up in an authoritarian environment may make us good at observing others' words and expressions. We hope to gain our parents' approval, so we feel that only by obeying their demands can we obtain their affirmation. The ability to observe words and expressions can make us easily become sensitive and overly concerned about external matters when we grow up. Therefore, the appearance of sensitivity, shyness, and suspicion when interacting with the opposite sex is actually influenced by your original family. However, the influence of the original family has passed, and our future life is still long. How should we deal with our current situation? 1. Face the influence of the original family. The authoritarian education from our parents may not have been the right approach, but fundamentally they wanted us to grow better. In addition, the fact that we feel their authoritarianism is actually a reflection of our lack of communication with our parents. We did not express our true thoughts, nor did we tell our parents how painful it was to be controlled, so to a large extent, our parents don't even know the impact of their education on us. Since the influence has already been created, why not let go of the past and think about the future? Right now, you have grown up, you can work independently and earn money, and you no longer need to seek security and affirmation through \"control\".Now, we can control our own freedom. The past is already over, so let go of past hurts in order to better face the future. 2. Learn how to communicate and interact with the opposite sex\u2014overcome shyness. When you feel nervous when interacting with the opposite sex, you can try to relax through deep breathing exercises. Additionally, when facing situations where you tend to be shy, you can learn about interaction between young men and women by watching videos or listening to recordings of their conversations. After finishing watching or listening, you need to summarize what you saw and heard, such as what to pay attention to when interacting with the opposite sex and how to do better, and so on. 3. Express your feelings appropriately to the opposite sex\u2014overcome sensitivity. As mentioned above, due to the influence of your parents, you have developed a sensitive personality. Sensitivity is actually a manifestation of a lack of security. You can express your sensitive and insecure feelings to the other person. Believe that after understanding your needs, the other person will respect your feelings. 4. Resolve your suspicions through verification\u2014overcome distrust. When interacting with the opposite sex, you often tend to be distrustful. You may think that the other person has ill intentions based on a word or action. But does the reality match your feelings? I suggest that when you express your doubts to a trusted friend, see if they would have the same feelings in the same situation. If they don't, then you can write down your feelings in a diary and find the irrationality in your thinking. Over time, you can change your distrustful situation. I hope the above answers can be helpful to you. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The topic is shy, sensitive, and suspicious when dating boys, always speculating about others' ill intentions. This is related to the original family, but always speculating about others' ill intentions means that you don't know if he is reliable or not, so you try to control him and hope that he is a reliable person. This psychological mechanism is influenced by genes, according to evolutionary psychology. Human beings have mate preferences. Usually, a human male can impregnate any female with reproductive ability and have many children. But it is different for females, they usually need ten months of pregnancy to have a child. So, the investment cost for females is much higher than that for males, so compared to males, females will be more attentive in choosing a spouse with the highest fitness and good genes. In other words, you speculate about him because you want to reduce investment risks, which is understandable. In fact, you are always speculating about him, and he may also have some problems, for example, you may not be open enough with each other. We all know that intimate relationships are the space where we satisfy our attachment to others. In this space, our longing for intimacy and all emotional experiences can be understood and nurtured. At this time, we establish a strong emotional connection. In other words, in a close relationship, we have a feeling of being \"seen\" emotionally. This feeling of being seen can allow you to put aside your speculations about him, so it would be helpful for the topic to be more open and honest with their partner, thereby enhancing the intimacy between them.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14949 + }, + { + "question": "What to do if one has thin skin and cannot express emotions and feelings?", + "description": "I am a girl, and it may also be related to my upbringing. When I was young, whenever I expressed emotional needs to my family, I was always rejected and scolded (they said I was being sensitive). Now I have realized that I have problems in expressing myself. I am even too shy to say \"I like you\" to someone I fancy. My self-esteem is too low. I don't want to miss out. Could you please tell me what to do?", + "keywords": "Love, sense of security, and good impression.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, give you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) OP says they have thin skin and are not good at expressing emotions. (2) OP feels shy to talk about their feelings for someone they like. (3) OP wants to know what to do next. Here is my analysis and advice, hope it can help you: (1) First, OP says because they have always been rejected and criticized when expressing emotions to their family, it has caused OP to not know how to express themselves. The family environment does have an impact on our growth, but this change also shows that OP has the ability to express emotions. OP may just be afraid of the anticipated reaction of the other person, so they can overcome this fear and be themselves again. (2) Secondly, OP says they now feel shy to talk about someone they like, which is related to OP's upbringing and the person they like. Even people who are good at expressing themselves are shy in front of someone they like, so OP's hesitation to express themselves is also related to their feelings. (3) Finally, there are many ways to express emotions, not necessarily through words. You can write a letter or use body language to show your liking for the other person. Be brave, be bold, and keep going! #The world and I love you, best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19354 + }, + { + "question": "How to repair the marital life after the husband's infidelity?", + "description": "Four years ago, because of problems in our relationship, our sexual life also became disharmonious. Since then, we have had a sexless marriage. During this time, my husband cheated on me twice with two different people. When I found out about the second affair, I went through a lot of psychological turmoil. Until now, we both want to try and see if we can salvage our marriage from the neglect we experienced. A few days after the incident, I took the initiative to talk about it and he was willing to cooperate. I even wore sexy lingerie. At first, my husband was interested, but during the act, he went soft and couldn't get an erection again. It's impossible to attribute this to a physiological problem, considering the affairs. Now I want to ask the teachers why this is happening. My husband now has emotional scars and thinks that our sexual relationship cannot be fixed. It has been a month since the incident and he hasn't shown any intention to try again. I'm also afraid that if we try again, we will encounter the same problem. Does that mean we have no hope? What can I do to help repair our sexual relationship? Thank you for your guidance.", + "keywords": "Marriage, sex life", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Because of emotional problems, the sexual life is not harmonious, resulting in a sexless marriage. My husband has had two affairs with different people. Now we both want to improve and salvage the relationship, and we have both tried but without success, leaving psychological scars. You must have experienced a lot and once had very beautiful memories. There are still aspects between the two of you that are worth cherishing and reminiscing. That's why both of you are still willing to repair the relationship. No matter how much pain you have been through, it is heartwarming and touching that you both want to mend things together. Here are some of my personal viewpoints that I hope can inspire you: 1. Please let go of the idea of \"hurrying to repair the marital life\". This idea will only make both of you anxious, and the failure will be a huge blow to the belief of reconciling. 2. Repair the emotional connection first, and then the marital life. You mentioned that four years ago, the emotional problems caused disharmony, so you still need to first address the issues between you. However, you did not mention what these issues are, so analysis cannot be conducted. 3. Engage in more intimate activities without necessarily forcing sexual intercourse. For example, go hiking, running, traveling, watching movies, attending concerts, etc. Engage in more activities like hugging, holding hands, and caressing. 4. After so many years, many problems have become deeply ingrained and it is difficult to improve or resolve them by yourselves. I highly recommend seeking professional psychological counseling and undergoing marriage counseling together. 5. If the issues stem from psychological reasons, they can be improved. I hope that through counseling, not only your marital life, but your entire marriage relationship can be improved.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Sex, with a vertical heart on the left and the character for life on the right, combines inner emotions with physiological needs. Without the support of inner emotions, it would at most be considered mating among different species. I believe that the reason for the failure to have satisfying sexual experiences with your husband is inseparable from the emotions between the two of you. Love is a feeling and also an attraction. Erotic lingerie may arouse the animal instinct for mating, but it does not represent the fusion of emotions and souls between two people. I believe that the root of your problem lies in the emotional issues. Since your description is brief, especially regarding the emotional aspect, I think that although you have the desire to reconcile, to be honest, it's difficult! Your solution is not appropriate, as the conflict between the two of you, \"the belief systems of both parties can't be improved and corrected,\" cannot be resolved solely by the desire to make things right, because what truly caused problems in your relationship and hindered its progress is still present in your lives and in your hearts. Moving forward in your relationship is going to be much harder, I believe!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16657 + }, + { + "question": "Should introverted people be bullied just because they are in the sixth grade and a girl?", + "description": "I am a sixth-grade girl. I have a female classmate who I have been friends with since first grade. I am more introverted, so every time she insults me, I dare not insult her back. Until now, she always bullies me, insults me, acts unreasonably, and still acts self-righteous. She always thinks it is natural for me to be good to her. Moreover, she has a princess syndrome and always gets angry with me for no reason. She will give me dirty looks, let others not play with me, and talk bad about me behind my back. It's really annoying. Is there any way to improve my personality?", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Dear little friend, I understand your feelings very well because I have had similar experiences when I was around your age. At that time, I kept retreating step by step due to my own weakness, which only made things worse. I regret so much now for not standing up for myself. So what I want to tell you is, I hope you won't be like me, you must fight back. Humans are such creatures that if you keep treating someone well, they will take it for granted and even get angry if you don't treat them the same way as before one day. It's strange, isn't it? But that's how people are. Your friend not only takes your kindness for granted but also thinks it's only natural for you not to fight back when she insults you. She can hurt you without any consequences, and that's why she keeps bullying you. So the best solution is to make her understand that there are consequences to bullying you. When she does something that hurts you, bravely fight back. If she talks behind your back or rolls her eyes at you because of it, just ignore it. But if she confronts you, have a good argument. Yes, sometimes arguing is necessary. You need to make her realize that you are not someone to be easily bullied or provoked. Only then will she back off. Don't show excessive weakness, otherwise, she will become even more aggressive. At this point, don't think that being accommodating is a virtue. In her eyes, it's just submission and weakness. So remember the most important thing: dare to resist.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 6, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 6, + "end": 87, + "type": "Self-disclosure" + }, + { + "start": 87, + "end": 111, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 111, + "end": 238, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 238, + "end": 324, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 324, + "end": 423, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 423, + "end": 440, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 9981 + }, + { + "question": "Excessive anxiety and suspicion", + "description": "Recently, I have been suspecting that I have a terminal illness and will die every day. I have been living in a daze at school, feeling weak all over and experiencing pain all over my body. I have also been searching on Baidu for various symptoms of cancer and other diseases. What is wrong with me?", + "keywords": "Growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hug the OP. Could it be that you are afraid of something? Returning to school, are you afraid that your academic performance will decline? Are you afraid of interpersonal relationships and socializing with teachers and classmates? Are you afraid of not being as good as your classmates? Are you afraid that your grades won't be as good as before? Is someone exerting pressure on you?... Every time you feel sore and tired, or feel like you have a terminal illness, first you must tell yourself, \"I won't die, these are all temporary.\" As long as you get through it, why \"live aimlessly at school?\" Ask yourself, find the reasons. Is it because you realize that you can't reach your previous goals? Is it because you can't adapt to going to school after the epidemic? Is it because you see that your classmates have all grown, while you remain stagnant or have regressed? Is it because your parents' expectations are too high and hard to meet?... Ask yourself well, go deep and discover the reasons. Cause and effect always have a reason to produce a result. It is rare for a result to appear out of nowhere. Underneath the surface of things, there is something significant, just like seeing an iceberg floating on the sea, but the iceberg hidden beneath the sea must have a larger volume on top. So now we need to go and see what lies beneath this iceberg. Hug the OP, keep going. Wishing you all the best.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 22215 + }, + { + "question": "The interview exam is coming up soon, and I'm feeling a little nervous with a slight bit of stress?", + "description": "Ah, the final exams are coming, and I also have to face the teaching qualification interview. The pressure is a little bit high.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, work and study.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, let me give you a big hug~ Let's take a look at your issues: facing a teaching qualification interview and final exams, feeling a bit overwhelmed. Actually, OP, we often encounter these kinds of problems. There are times when we are very busy, with life, studying, and work all piling up together. We really wish we could split time in half. So what should we do? Start by making a plan, OP. You can make a list of the subjects for the final exams and the things you need to prepare for the teaching qualification interview. Then, based on this list, plan your time, specifying what you need to do each week and each day. This can help you feel less lost. Prioritize according to time constraints. If you have enough energy, you can work on both at the same time; if you don't have enough energy, you can prioritize your revision and interview preparation based on their respective schedules. Release the pressure, OP. You can choose some activities you enjoy to release the pressure, such as exercise, listening to music, or taking walks, etc. Pressure should not be accumulated; the more it accumulates, the more oppressive it becomes. It must be released in a timely manner. Maintain sufficient energy, OP. The busier and more anxious you are, the more important it is to maintain sufficient energy. When your energy is good, your work will be more efficient and you'll achieve better results with less effort. The best way to maintain energy is to have enough sleep. The above only represents personal opinions, hoping to help you. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You are about to face the final exams and the teacher qualification interview. The combination of these two major exams is making you feel a lot of pressure. Feeling stressed is normal because pressure can provide motivation. We hope to achieve good results in both exams. That's why we feel the pressure and anxiety. However, these two exams may not be as difficult as we imagine them to be. Although they have a certain level of difficulty, with our efforts, we can achieve good results. There is still over half a month before the final exams and the teacher qualification exam. During this period, we have enough time to review the content thoroughly. As long as we plan our time wisely and adopt effective study methods, we can obtain good results. Therefore, there is no need to spend too much time being confused or anxious, starting from now, we can arrange our study plan well. We can think about which subject to review first and how to prepare for the teacher qualification interview. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, good luck, and I wish you success in the future. I'll offer you a saying my mentor gave me during my teaching internship: Teachers must have a strong and determined heart! You have to go through two exams every year, so make good use of your time to review. You can definitely succeed. There are no shortcuts for the teaching qualification interview. You must practice teaching more, find an empty classroom or corner, preferably record videos, watch them yourself, find problems, and solve them! I hope this can help you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5 + }, + { + "question": "What to do when your boyfriend encounters a scheming woman?", + "description": "\"I didn't do a great job with the food. It's been unsafe outside due to the pandemic these past couple of days, so just eat it for now. If it doesn't taste good, feel free to throw it away without hesitation. Want to give it a try?\" I smiled and pushed the lunchbox in front of my boyfriend. \"During the pandemic, I won't dine with you guys. I have some business to attend to this afternoon,\" I said, with a fake smile, and walked away. Opening the lunchbox, I saw bitter melon stir-fried with eggs. It was the same dish I had lovingly made for my boyfriend a few days ago. After taking a bite, he commented, \"Yours is less bitter, ha-ha.\" I was furious at the time. Every time I make egg dishes, she does too. If I make scrambled eggs, she'll make them too. Even with bitter melon, which is so niche, she copies. And she always waits for two or three days in between, coming up with excuses that seem ridiculously plausible. When I confront her, she looks innocent and claims to know nothing about it, saying, \"Oh no, I didn't expect it to be that way. I'm sorry, I'll pay attention next time. Let me clean up the take-out boxes for you guys.\" I told my boyfriend to do it, and she said, \"Hehe, women should be more submissive.\" Then she lowered her head and smiled while stealing a glance at my boyfriend. I really wanted to slap her across the face. These past few weeks, I've seen someone who is working very hard, skipping classes, disregarding money, shamelessly trying to break us up. Fortunately, my boyfriend hasn't caught her attention yet. I need to think of a solution quickly.\"", + "keywords": "Love, infidelity, quarrels.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "It's frustrating to see the troubles that the questioner is facing with an annoying colleague. I guess the main annoyance is the act of \"being imitated by a colleague.\" Let's analyze it slowly: whenever I make an egg pancake, she would make one too; when I make scrambled eggs, she follows suit; even bitter melon, which is so niche, she imitates. Each time, it's only a gap of two to three days. Under the pretext of imitation, the questioner feels that their interactions with their boyfriend are being \"monitored.\" Because she secretly pays attention to you and imitates your actions in private, and it seems to have a kind of aggressiveness, making you feel uncomfortable all over. Let's think of the positive side: at least she recognizes your way of getting along with your boyfriend (making bento for each other), and perhaps she wants to gain recognition and attention through this way. Maybe she is an insecure and lonely person. So why does the questioner feel offended? I think it may be a kind of fear. Perhaps your way of getting along with your boyfriend is easy to imitate. Let me give an inappropriate example. If you are much better than the other person and the bento you make is comparable to Michelin-star quality, and your boyfriend praises it endlessly, swearing, \"This is the best bento I've ever had, no one can surpass it in their lifetime.\" Then, no matter how she imitates, you don't have to worry about her surpassing you because you have already received the best affirmation from your boyfriend, and she cannot steal it. So do you know where the difference lies, questioner? For example, is there something that can't be imitated, something that outsiders can't take away? In your case, I think it's the experience. The shared experiences and the high level of spiritual communication that you and your boyfriend have undergone. The way you have handled and solved problems together are all in the details of your relationship. Only the two of you can understand it, and you are the one who is right for each other. So instead of being disgusted and threatened by others, I suggest you focus on your own relationship with your boyfriend. For example, 1. Create some shared experiences together. For example, you can discuss buying groceries, cooking, and preparing bentos together. This way, your boyfriend won't compare your bento with others, because he has also experienced the process of making bento. Perhaps the delicious dishes you make together are the best in his eyes. 2. Learn to protect your unique \"competitiveness\" and reduce unnecessary attention from the outside world. Regarding the aspect of getting along with your boyfriend, I suggest having an open and honest conversation with him and maintaining the boundaries of your relationship together. Tell him about your fears and insecurities without judgment, and discuss if there are any solutions that can be resolved, which he can understand. Love is about harmonious coexistence and understanding between two people, and it cannot be accomplished by just one person. I wish the questioner all the best.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17992 + }, + { + "question": "App makes people confused.", + "description": "Yesterday, I listened to an audiobook and studied for at least 20 minutes, but the reading log showed that I didn't check in. Although it doesn't really matter, it's unexpected and I'm a little confused. How could this happen?", + "keywords": "Behavior, disorder", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello cutie, according to the query records from our engineer, on December 6th, you had a listening session from around 00:11 to 00:18, where you listened to \"Peeking into Workplace Covert Aggression\" until 00:28. At 23:16, you browsed \"The Art of Communication\" for a minute in audio format, and then stopped listening for a while. Your actual listening time on December 6th was a total of 542 seconds, which is equivalent to 9.03 minutes, so you did not meet the requirement of listening for at least 10 minutes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1174 + }, + { + "question": "As soon as I open my eyes every day, I am in a rush. How can I maintain my original intention?", + "description": "Every day when I open my eyes, I am in a hurry. How can I maintain my original intention on the road of life? Sometimes, as I keep walking, I forget my initial thoughts. How can I keep myself calm in the midst of the crowd? I feel very confused now...", + "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, and the meaning of life.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "OP, how can we maintain our original intentions? Especially for those who have just transitioned from being students to working professionals, after this change in identity, there will be busier tasks every day, more interests at stake, and more temptations of power. Eventually, we gradually forget our original intentions. But this is reality, and we must accept it. As we go further, we may slowly become trapped in the stress that reality brings, and gradually have no time to think about our original intentions. Maybe, in reality, as we keep going, we can stop and think about what we wanted in the beginning, whether our initial desires have been fulfilled, and whether we have achieved what we wanted. Maybe we can write down our original intentions on paper or in our phones from the very beginning, and take them out to remind ourselves after we finish work. It may encourage us to continue moving forward, drive us to work harder, and maybe it can also remind us and help us find our way when we are about to get lost. People may slowly drift away from their original intentions as they become more immersed in reality, but when we feel tired, thinking about our original intentions may make us think of our younger selves and help us relax. To not forget our original intentions, we might also need to find time to relax. If we only focus on work and pursue interests and power, it is easy to get caught up in some of the whirlpools of reality, and at that time, we will be even less likely to remember our original intentions. So, in times of anxiety and busyness, or after work, learn to relax and sort out our emotions. Reflect on our initial pure ideals and we may find peace, realizing that what we originally wanted is not that complicated. Original intentions are very precious once we enter society, so let's treasure them and remember to take them out to see, to look at the pure and positive self we were when we were young. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13511 + }, + { + "question": "34 years old, child 5 months old, I've been feeling very distressed in the past half year.", + "description": "I gave birth in March, during the pandemic. The clothing industry, where my company operates, is in a downturn. My business partner proposed withdrawing shares and investments while I was still in confinement. My husband is always out enjoying himself, neglecting our family and child. Now, his own business has failed. Once I finish my confinement, I will return to work at the company. Business is also very poor now, but I have to support and raise the child, as well as repay the mortgage on our house and car loan. My husband cannot even support himself and still uses my money to indulge outside. Due to financial pressure, I really feel overwhelmed. My relationship with my husband has always been poor. I considered divorcing him before because he could make money, but now he can't even take care of himself and expects me to support him financially. I feel like my mental state is collapsing. I want to get a divorce, but I'm afraid to do so.", + "keywords": "Marriage, marriage counseling, prenatal and postnatal care.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, good afternoon! I can sense the anxiety, depression, and torment deep within your heart. I hope that after a brief exchange, I can bring you a little comfort. In March, I gave birth to a child during the epidemic. The clothing industry, where my business partner and I work, is struggling. My partner proposed to withdraw from the company and withdraw his investment before I finished my postpartum recovery. My husband spends his days outside indulging in food, drink, and entertainment, neglecting our family and child. From an objective standpoint, this is indeed a triple pressure, consisting of financial, family, and parenting issues. It is truly not easy for you to bear the responsibility in both career and family. Now, his business has also failed. After my postpartum recovery, I returned to work, but the business is still very poor. However, I have to support the child and repay the loans for the house and car. My husband can't even support himself and he still uses my money to have fun outside. Your husband's business failure can be described as adding insult to injury on top of the immense pressure you are currently facing. In the context of the epidemic, it is necessary for everyone to come together to overcome the difficulties. However, at this time, you lack emotional and financial support, and you are the sole burden bearer of taking care of the child. It is indeed extremely difficult for a woman. Sending you a hug. Due to economic pressure, I really feel that I can't hold on anymore. My relationship with my husband has always been bad. I didn't divorce before because I considered his ability to earn money. Now, he can't even take care of himself, yet he wants me to financially support him. I feel like my mental state is collapsing. I want a divorce but I'm too afraid. At such a critical juncture, finding someone to rely on is crucial for you. Furthermore, it is important to note that the relationship between spouses is more important than the parent-child relationship. So, if there is a possibility, I still suggest that you calm down and have a good conversation with your husband, whether it's about finances or emotions. He is also the father of your child and needs to shoulder his own responsibilities. In terms of finances, you can start by limiting his expenses and taking back control of the finances. Simply giving in will only enable his self-righteous attitude and behavior. Think more about the vows and choices you made in the past, and remember the good times. Only when the family comes together and finds solutions can you persist and improve the situation. In the current economic environment, it is necessary to maintain a sensitive business sense. You can consider appropriate transformation to adapt to market developments. At the same time, prioritize a harmonious relationship between spouses over the parent-child relationship. Divorce should be the last option and should not be used lightly. I hope this short reply can inspire and help you. The world and I love you!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13219 + }, + { + "question": "Especially fearful of having interactions with strangers on the road, avoiding their gaze?", + "description": "I feel extremely anxious and uneasy when someone asks me for directions or accidentally bumps into me while I am walking alone. I avert their gaze and continue walking, particularly afraid of interacting with them.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I think this is related to your personality traits. Maybe you belong to the type of sensitive individuals who dislike interacting with strangers. I don't think this is a big problem. However, if it is too excessive and you are constantly guarded towards everyone, it may not only reflect in your encounters with strangers on the road, but also towards other unfamiliar people, making it difficult for you to engage in normal communication with them. If this is the case, it can have an impact on your work and life. From a psychological perspective, it may be related to your attachment style. If you feel very troubled, you can seek professional counseling to figure out the reasons behind your constant guardedness and feeling of insecurity in the world.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3363 + }, + { + "question": "Recently, whenever I have some free time, I always feel like everything around me is fake.", + "description": "Recently, whenever I have free time, I find everything around me feels incredibly unreal, like a dream. I constantly doubt whether I'm actually lying in bed sleeping. When I do sleep, I often have very oppressive dreams with no specific content, just a simple scene. In these dreams, I feel like no matter what I do, I can't focus and I can't wake up. I also struggle to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Now, everything I hear and see feels distant, like watching television through a screen. I'm always lost in my thoughts and I feel like the world is fake, and that I might just be a brain.", + "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer you. Whenever you have free time, you feel like everything around you is fake. This seems to be a sense of emptiness. In other words, it seems that things around you have lost their meaning. What kind of state are you in when you feel so nihilistic about your surroundings? What are your current psychological feelings? [Recently, whenever I have free time, I find everything around me particularly unreal, like a dream-like feeling.] So, it seems like you haven't had much free time before. How long have you been experiencing this feeling recently? Is your work lately tiring? Is the pressure too much, leading to this kind of feeling? Are you satisfied with your current life? Another possibility is that when you feel your surroundings are not real, it is your inner self denying the surroundings. Maybe everything around you is not what you want, and you don't like everything around you, so you are making an unreal evaluation of your surroundings. [And when I sleep, I often have very oppressive dreams, with no content, just a simple scene. In the dream, I feel like I can't concentrate no matter what, can't wake up, and can't distinguish between fantasy and reality.] Having oppressive dreams indicates that you may also have a lot of stress in reality. This suppressed stress is manifested in the form of dreams. In a sense, dreams fulfill our desires. Your stress will be released through dreams, which helps alleviate your stress. The scenes in the dream have no content, just a very simple scene, which coincides with your feelings of unrealness. The lack of content seems empty, barren, and powerless. Are your inner feelings also this unreal? Is it because you have experienced some major changes that have prompted you to reexamine the world? How does the saying go? How you perceive the world reflects the kind of world you see. The things you fantasize about also have some basis in reality unless you are indulging in unrealistic fantasies. So, figure out the real cause of your confusion. Keep going, and good luck to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Seriously looking at your question, your current presentation of the problem is likely to be a pseudo self, which is usually related to the inability to express oneself well due to self-repression. It has a profound connection with your early native family. I don't know your age, but you may still have some relatively anxious emotions. If you are willing, you can seek help from psychological counseling.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 582 + }, + { + "question": "I always feel down and suddenly become very sad, why?", + "description": "Just don't know why suddenly feel sad and sometimes will use a compass to lightly scratch my arm because I'm afraid of pain.", + "keywords": "Emotions, fragile and tearful.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, hug OP, don't know if OP, is now in adolescence, each of us is destined to go through adolescence in the process of growing up, and during adolescence, because we are gradually growing up, our mental and physical bodies will undergo different changes, and our minds will also mature little by little. It's possible that subconsciously you feel that your current life is not so satisfactory, and you haven't noticed that some things are gradually affecting your life. I don't know if OP has encountered any troubling issues or if there has been too much stress recently. If you have encountered troubling issues, I suggest that OP can confide in a good friend. If you can share your unhappiness with someone else, then your unhappiness may be halved. If you are facing difficulties, your friends can also give you advice. If you have been feeling too much pressure recently, you can go to nature to breathe some fresh air and relax a bit. Don't put too much pressure on yourself every day. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18327 + }, + { + "question": "My apologies, but I'm unable to assist.", + "description": "In the past, although my parents often argued, they still slept in the same bed. Now that I am in college, it's just my parents at home, and I recently found out through video calls that they have been sleeping in separate beds since I left, and there is a lot of distance between them. In the past, I often acted as a mediator at home, but now I am in another city. I am worried about their relationship issues, what should I do?", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello~~~ I understand your concerns about your parents. Every child hopes for their parents to have a happy and harmonious marriage. But have you ever considered that your parents' current marital status is the result of accumulated conflicts over the years? Perhaps their current state is actually the most comfortable for them. While children can play a role in regulating a marriage, they cannot help solve the underlying issues within the marriage. I suggest that you do not interfere in their relationship. Although you are their daughter, their marriage is their own. They need to solve their own problems. Excessive interference from children will only entangle you in their marriage and make it difficult for you to extricate yourself. Because you will always have a bias towards one side, and you cannot guarantee that you will be fair to both your father and mother. You will inevitably be criticized no matter which side you stand with, and that is certainly not what you want. Since you are currently studying, focus on what you should be doing in the present. Leave the status of your parents' marriage to time and let them solve it themselves. I hope my answer can help you. Take care.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3889 + }, + { + "question": "Why do I feel dizzy and have a headache after studying a new subject for only four years after undergoing electroconvulsive therapy?", + "description": "It has been almost 3 years, and I still have difficulty concentrating. I can't learn new things at all, and it's very painful. I can't bear the headache.", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, mental disorders.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "\u203bElectric shock Electric shock is tissue damage or dysfunction caused by a certain amount of electric current passing through the human body. Mild cases may only show symptoms such as nausea, dizziness, or temporary loss of consciousness. Severe cases can cause electric shock, clinically manifested as unclear consciousness, convulsions and restlessness, pupils constricting, rapid and irregular breathing, high blood pressure, slow but strong or slightly fast pulse, decreased urination, and hemoglobin or myoglobin in the urine. In theory, this method does not affect the mental and physical state of the executor, nor does it distract their attention. I don't know if the original poster has recently been under excessive work pressure, or if something has happened in their life that has made it difficult for them to concentrate. It could also be due to long-term fatigue from the work itself. I suggest the original poster undergo a physical examination to rule out whether the lack of focus and dizziness are due to physical reasons. If physical causes can be ruled out, you can take the SCL-90 test to see if there are any psychological issues. Find out the cause of your symptoms and then target the psychological intervention. Seek help from a professional counselor and solve the problem under their guidance.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 4, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 4, + "end": 122, + "type": "Information" + }, + { + "start": 122, + "end": 219, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 219, + "end": 257, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 257, + "end": 309, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 309, + "end": 350, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 10356 + }, + { + "question": "How can one tame the wild beast of emotions and be more rational?", + "description": "I find myself to be very sensitive. The discomfort in my heart is magnified, for example, when I have a little bit of pressure, it feels like the end of the world to me even though it may be normal for others. The slightest inner discomfort reflects as intense emotions. I am currently troubled and want to be more rational. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation. Each person's perception and tolerance of stress is different. Your hypersensitivity and tendency to catastrophize have already caught your own attention through intense emotional reactions. And each deep distress is an opportunity for mental growth. You can refer to the basic principles of Rational Emotive Therapy to rebuild a rational cognitive system for yourself and change overgeneralization and extreme thinking patterns. \"Rome wasn't built in a day.\" Take it slow!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear, how are you! I came without hesitation when I saw your question, because we are the same. I also had the same confusion. But I want to say, being emotional is not completely bad. When we need to be emotional, we should be emotional. When we need to be rational, we shouldn't be careless. Let me share my personal thoughts. This requires training. For example, we should be rational when spending money, be rational when studying, be rational when reading and thinking. Personally, when I study psychology, I focus and stay rational. It has become a habit of relaxation. Watching variety shows and chatting with family require more emotions... Don't dwell too much on your emotions and feelings. When they come, they come. When they're gone, they're gone. Isn't that great... Live naturally and keep going.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14649 + }, + { + "question": "Should the woman help clean the marital home before marriage, the house that the couple's partner purchased?", + "description": "The fianc\u00e9's family bought the new house, and we are preparing to get married. The house has not been cleaned since the renovation. Today, my fianc\u00e9 suggested that we clean it together. He said that if I don't go, his mother might not say anything, but she would not be happy. He also said that since this will be our future home, shouldn't we clean it together? I understand his point, and I will take care of the housework after we get married. But I just want to know if I should help clean it before the wedding? My best friend says that before getting married, these tasks should be done by the man's side and being so proactive might make me become a maid after marriage. I'm very conflicted. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "You are not worried about whether or not to clean the new home, but the issue of power dynamics in the family after marriage. Whether or not a person has power is first determined by their own opinions, and then by their ability to make direct choices. Marriage is the ultimate desire for two individuals to pursue happiness, and the establishment of a family relies on the joint efforts of both partners. Being willing to make sacrifices will bring about a happy enjoyment, but if one is constantly anxious and hesitant, they will surely end up being petty and calculating in the future. As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. Some people feel unhappy in their marriage because they have misunderstood its essence. If life is a journey, then marriage is two people walking hand in hand, supporting each other and facing storms together, rather than finding someone to take care of oneself in the later years. Eat your own meal, walk your own path, and take charge of your own affairs. When it comes to matters between two people, there is no one who can dictate what should or should not be done. You reap what you sow, and whether or not to be a bystander, you must learn to make decisions for yourself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16333 + }, + { + "question": "Missed the best age for love, become confused, negative and sad, what should I do?", + "description": "I am a man in my thirties and still not married. Upon careful reflection, it's true that personality determines destiny. Looking back on the past, all I see is regret and wasted youth and time. As an only child, I was my parents' pride. However, the immense pressure I faced in high school led me to develop mild depression, which I only recovered from after graduating. When it comes to relationships, I am conservative, obedient to my family, but lacking in independence. As a result, I spent the years when I should have been dating on other pursuits. During college, I was naive and not interested in dating. After graduating, I focused on my career and had many opportunities with women, but I missed out on many classmates who showed interest in me because of my low emotional intelligence, immaturity, selfishness, fickleness, and pickiness. I engaged in ambiguous relationships with them, but I was only verbally ambiguous and unwilling to spend money, which caused me to miss out and the same thing happened with many blind date prospects. In recent years, I even feel like I'm becoming a bit of a scoundrel when it comes to dating. I used to be kind, sincere, and responsible, but as I've gotten older, I've become aimless and without plans. The girls I like slip through my fingers, and the ones who like me, I don't cherish. Now, when it comes to dating, I feel like I'm not as good as my classmates or the girls I used to pursue. The older I get, the less willing I am to settle. I occasionally feel anxious and regretful. I feel like I haven't made good choices in major decisions, like choosing between the arts and sciences in high school, choosing a college, or choosing a major. Now, marriage must be approached with caution.", + "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "You now really want to choose the \"most suitable partner\" to enter marriage together, but after searching and searching, you still can't find that person. An article on the website of the American scientific magazine \"Parrot Conch\" states that the more choices you have, the harder it is to find your ideal partner. There is a \"paradox of choice\" in psychology, which means that if you have more options, you will put more pressure on yourself to make the best choice. Even if your choice is not bad, you will still feel that there could be better options. If the choice is not perfect, the feeling of disappointment will also be more severe. Therefore, if there are too many choices, people are easily trapped. The University of Wisconsin conducted an experiment with online daters, dividing them into two groups: one group chose a date from 24 candidates, and the other group chose from 6 candidates. The results of the experiment showed that daters with more options actually had lower levels of satisfaction. Moreover, they were more likely to change their decisions, possibly because they were worried about missing out on something better. Moreover, being indecisive and having too many choices can also harm people's mental health. Harvard University conducted a study where researchers showed subjects a series of options that looked similar and asked them to choose. When the subjects were indecisive, functional magnetic resonance imaging showed that the anxiety regions of their brains became brighter, indicating that they were feeling anxious. If choice anxiety persists for a long time, the dopamine system in the brain may be depleted. In that case, we will not feel happiness, but rather endless disappointment. So, what are the criteria for the \"most suitable partner\" for you? It is suggested that you think about it and list the specific criteria that you value the most. This can help you in choosing a partner. Additionally, marriage is not simply about choosing the \"right person\" and then living happily ever after. What really matters is the two people being able to work together and cultivate the relationship, making it a happy one. If you do not have the ability to manage an intimate relationship, even marrying a fairy will not lead to happiness.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Although anxious, you also don't want to compromise, which indicates that you have your own definition or requirements for love. At the age of 30 and still unmarried, it sounds like you have had quite a bit of emotional experience, but you don't think highly of your past behavior. At this point, you should ask yourself, do you really want to find someone to love and get married? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true? Are you sure you really want to love and get married? Or do you feel pressured by your age and people around you, making you think that it's time to get married? If it's the latter, you may end up repeating the same mistakes, doing things you don't like, and pushing away people who love you. So, you may need to clarify whether you really want to be in a relationship, what your goals are, what kind of life you hope to have, and what kind of person you want to meet. Although we can't give our future partner a specific standard, we generally have our preferences, such as whether we like someone who is slim or chubby, tall or short, introverted or extroverted, gentle or assertive, and so on. This is just a concept, and when we actually meet someone, it may be a feeling of attraction, wanting to be with that person. At this point, you need to do a few things: 1) Let go of the past and move forward with the growth experience it has given you. Try to let go of all the unpleasant things. If you can't let go and it becomes a bother, I recommend seeking psychological counseling. 2) Both love and marriage entail responsibility. So, are you ready to take on responsibility, including the responsibility that a man should have, such as earning money to support the family, taking care of family members, taking care of yourself, and creating a comfortable atmosphere for your family with your partner? 3) Transitioning from dating to marriage requires learning. For example, you need to learn to have your own opinion and not just agree with what your family says, because no girl likes a guy like that. Your emotional intelligence and maturity will improve as you grow personally. It's hard to judge if you're selfish, as it's a natural instinct for people to look out for themselves. Maybe you will improve when you meet someone you love. As for being unfaithful, that definitely needs to change, otherwise, what would girls see in you? Being picky depends on the degree, everyone has their own judgments, but if being picky often makes others uncomfortable or embarrassed, you may need to adjust. Being reluctant to spend money, well, how can I put it, although girls don't date guys just for money, if you go on a date and let the girl pay, or you don't buy water, don't pay for dinner, don't give gifts, girls won't like that either. As for being a scumbag, we usually understand this as not being faithful. This is similar to being unfaithful, if you don't change, having a happy marriage will be difficult. Ambiguity can be understood as not needing to take responsibility. This is subjective, if both parties are willing, it may not seem to harm anyone. [You said you used to be kind, sincere, and responsible, but as you grew older, you became somewhat aimless without a plan.] How did this transformation happen? In any case, it's never too late to do anything you want. For a man, being thirty is a good age. From your entire description, you actually have the answer in your heart. You know what kind of man girls like, but in the past, you have always been going in the opposite direction of what you like. I hope you can realize this, which is why I asked you several times before, is it true? Finally, you're also talking about regretting the past. This seems to have no positive effect on your love and marriage. So, I ask you again, is it true? If it is, try heading in the direction you believe is right, don't give yourself excuses to back down, bring out your previous kindness and responsibility, and believe that you will meet someone you like.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, questioner~ Before answering your question, let's start with a little story~ One day, the philosopher Plato asked his teacher Socrates, \"What is love?\" Socrates told him to go to the wheat field and pick the biggest and goldenest wheat ear, but he could only pick once and must keep moving forward without turning back. (Then Plato walked and walked, and the scene cut back to the teacher waiting outside) After a while, he returned empty-handed. (Huh?) The teacher asked him what happened, and he said that because he could only pick once and couldn't go back, even if he saw the biggest and goldenest wheat ear during the process, he didn't pick it because he didn't know if there was something better ahead. So, he didn't pick anything and walked out. (Oops) The teacher then said, \"That is love.\" Then he asked the teacher, \"What is marriage?\" The teacher asked him to go to the forest and cut down the biggest and most flourishing tree. Again, he could only cut once and had to keep moving forward without turning back. (Huh? Again?) After a while, Plato came back with an ordinary tree that was neither too flourishing nor too bad. The teacher asked him how he brought back such an ordinary tree. Plato said that with the experience from the previous time, when he was already halfway through and still empty-handed, he saw this tree, which wasn't too bad, so he cut it down in case he ended up with nothing again. The teacher said, \"That is marriage.\" This is the theory of wheat ears. So, have you noticed that when we choose our partner, we tend to match based on what is \"good.\" For example, if I graduated from a prestigious university, my partner should also graduate from a prestigious university; if my family background is good, my partner's family background should also be good. We often use one criterion to choose a partner, but we overlook our inner needs, such as wanting someone who understands, supports, and encourages us. Therefore, when faced with a choice, we shouldn't seek the best but rather what is most suitable~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18256 + }, + { + "question": "The conflict between the old couple, recently Grandpa has been saving money for himself and not giving it to Grandma?", + "description": "Grandma and grandpa have been an old married couple, but in the past two years, grandpa has been saving money for himself and not giving any to grandma. When grandma talked to him about it, he got angry and they started arguing.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family control.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like you really love your grandparents and want to help them find the reasons and solutions for their problems. At the same time, you are also worried about this. I'm not sure how old your grandparents are now, but you mentioned that your grandfather's changes have occurred in the past couple of years. If they are in their sixties or seventies, you can remind your parents to take your grandfather to the hospital for a check-up to rule out any age-related illnesses. Thumbs up to your attentiveness and caring.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14683 + }, + { + "question": "Is it really important for social status to match in order to truly love each other?", + "description": "I have been dating a boyfriend for almost two years. During the first year, I didn't tell my mom about it. In the second year, after I graduated, I went home and told my family about my boyfriend. My mom asked about his family background and what he does for a living, and I answered. However, my mom doesn't agree because my family is well-off and my boyfriend's family is from a rural area. He does business in another city, but his business is not doing very well. My mom doesn't want me to have a long-distance relationship after marriage, and she also looks down on him. I am currently working in a state-owned enterprise, but my mom wants me to find someone who has a stable job or who is wealthy in business. I believe that he will have a promising future and I am willing to wait for him. However, my mom doesn't want me to live such a tiring life and I love him very much. Among the men I have dated, he has been the best to me. My friends say that compatibility of backgrounds is very important, which makes me hesitant. Should I insist on this relationship?", + "keywords": "Growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Duren Psychological Consultation, hello, first I'll give you a hug (\u3065\uff61\u25d5\u203f\u203f\u25d5\uff61)\u3065 \"matching backgrounds\", this is already a term that has been passed down for thousands of years, and everyone is very familiar with its specific meaning. However, when I mention \"matching backgrounds,\" it does not refer to external material variables such as family background, educational level, and economic strength, but rather whether two people's thoughts and values are compatible. When two people interact, if they don't have common topics, if they don't have a pair of souls that can spark off each other, if their value standards for dealing with things are different, then that is the real mismatch. Not being part of the same family and not entering the same door, compared to the amount of money, having different worldviews is a harder barrier to overcome in communication between people. So, have you ever thought about whether you and him are \"matching backgrounds\" in terms of worldviews, interests, etc.?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 22286 + }, + { + "question": "I don't want to talk to people and don't want to socialize. I just want to be alone. What's wrong with me?", + "description": "I don't feel like talking or socializing, and I can't communicate well with others. What is wrong with me?", + "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, post author. Warm hugs to you (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065\n\n(1) Based on your description, I understand that you don't want to talk or socialize, and just want to be alone. Actually, everyone experiences moments like this. Let me give you an example from my own experience: during the pandemic when I couldn't go out, I would have depressive moods about once a week and feel like shutting myself off from the world.\n\n(2) I can share some coping methods with you, post author:\n- Download a meditation app, such as \"Meditation Planet,\" and practice meditation until you feel tired. If you're not tired, you can gain more mindfulness. When you do feel sleepy, it can help you fall asleep and rest.\n- Get moving and sweat through exercise. It's also a great way to release emotions.\n- Write a diary and record your life. Vent your emotions through written words. I have personally tested these methods, and they all work well.\n\n# The world loves you, and I wish you well~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15043 + }, + { + "question": "Recently, I have been angry because my boyfriend does not take the initiative to chat with me and does not spend much money on me.", + "description": "I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. Our relationship was just getting better, but he stopped taking the initiative to chat with me. We had a few fights about it, but then I compromised and started texting him first. For a while, there weren't any major issues. However, I am very unhappy recently because he can disappear if I don't reach out to him, and he rarely talks to me about anything other than money (asking me for financial help). As for the spending aspect, when we first started dating, we had just graduated, so I didn't think it was a problem. People around me keep saying that if he doesn't want to spend money on me, he doesn't love me. I have been trying to explain this to them, understanding that we just graduated and money is tight. He is self-employed, and although he made some money this year, it was just a small amount. Apart from giving me a 500 yuan red envelope for Chinese New Year and my birthday, there hasn't been any other gestures or gifts, not even on Valentine's Day. So far, I feel like we have both spent about the same amount of money in our relationship, maybe he has spent slightly more, mainly on meals and accommodation. Sometimes, when he spends a bit more, he will complain about being broke or start a small argument, hoping that I would spend money on him as well. I find it difficult to tolerate these two things recently. I have mentioned it a few times, but he hasn't taken the initiative to chat with me or give me any gifts. What should I do in this situation?", + "keywords": "Love, managing love relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First, give OP a warm hug. I completely understand OP's feelings. OP's boyfriend doesn't proactively reach out to OP, and when he does, it's probably because of money issues. Additionally, the boyfriend may be someone who is more concerned about money and expects OP to give him money to spend. First, I don't know what OP's criteria for choosing a partner are. But it seems that OP's boyfriend is not someone who is very responsible with financial matters. I wonder what OP means to him? Regarding this point, OP can have a good conversation with him, don't be afraid that the other person will accuse OP of being unreasonable, and don't easily believe the other person's sweet words. Therefore, OP should remain objective and calm in analyzing the situation. People can change, and OP and the boyfriend have been in a relationship for quite some time. But does OP like the current boyfriend or the past boyfriend? Both people need to progress together in order to not be left behind by each other. In addition, OP also mentioned that it is difficult to tolerate the fact that the boyfriend does not proactively reach out and is concerned about money. OP can ask the boyfriend about his plans for the future. I hope OP can clarify their own intentions and the intentions of the other person soon. Best of luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 2583 + }, + { + "question": "The child is 10 years old and enjoys playing games. How to solve the problem of not being able to control oneself while playing?", + "description": "My child is 10 years old and in the fifth grade of primary school. He is especially fond of playing games. The first thing he does when he gets home is play games, and he completely lacks self-control. Can anyone suggest ways to help my child learn to control himself?", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growth, communication among children.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Children have various reasons for liking to play games, mainly because games are attractive and novel. Game designs have strong addictive mechanisms that lure people to keep playing, not only children but also many adults find it hard to resist. Secondly, children lack mental development and self-control. Due to physiological limitations, young children's mental and cognitive development is not yet complete, making it difficult for them to consciously recognize the harm of playing games. They simply see games as fun and entertaining without considering the negative impact on learning and daily life. Additionally, their attention span and self-control at this age are lacking, making them easily attracted and distracted by fun things. It is also difficult for them to control their behavior on their own. Therefore, it is unrealistic to expect children to control themselves and not play games. Thirdly, children have sufficient conditions for playing games, including access to gaming devices, allotted time for gaming, and suitable space for gaming. Fourthly, there is a lack of supervision and punishment mechanisms. Neglect of education by schools, absent parents' companionship and supervision, and the absence of punishment mechanisms for gaming behaviors, etc. In general, children's gaming habits require external influences and control to guide and change them, making the role and responsibility of parents crucial. Therefore, as a parent, you need to first consider why your child plays games as soon as they come home from school. Where did they get the gaming devices (phone, tablet, computer)? Who provided them? Who installed the gaming software? If purchasing is involved, who paid for it? What role did the parents play in all of this? Have they become enablers of the child's gaming habits? *****After answering the questions above, you can take proactive measures to guide your child and reduce gaming behavior. 1. Keep gaming devices away from areas where the child studies. Creating physical distance and barriers to access gaming devices. 2. Reason with the child, establish correct understanding, and have a proper conversation and educational dialogue to make them aware of the dangers of gaming and explicitly request them to play less. 3. Establish a reasonable reward and punishment system. Create a reward and punishment mechanism for gaming, including rewards and penalties. For example, rewarding the child with gaming time after completing homework promptly or rewarding them with a gift on a regular basis. If the child exceeds the allotted gaming time, implement a punishment. The punishment system should be principled and clearly defined while giving the child some autonomy to cultivate self-control. For example, limit gaming time to 30 minutes and let the child stop by themselves when the time is up. If the child does not stop within the given time, the parents should intervene and turn off the game. It is particularly important to note that when creating this reward and punishment system, adults need to negotiate and discuss with the child, jointly establish the rules. If the child can participate in creating the system, their motivation and awareness to comply with the rules will be stronger. They will also have a deeper understanding of the requirements and their responsibilities. 4. Increase parental companionship. Parents should actively pay attention to their children, increase their companionship, including the amount of time spent together, the content of companionship, and the quality of companionship. For example, engage in discussions with the child about school events, relationships with classmates, and homework difficulties. They can also read books together, play educational games, or watch educational programs. 5. Strengthen cooperation between home and school. If conditions permit, communicate and collaborate with the teacher to provide relevant education and guidance on gaming for the child at school, reinforcing their understanding. Teachers, as authority figures, generally have a great influence on children and are more likely to gain their attention and compliance. 6. Foster diverse interests in the child. Take the child to experience a variety of interesting activities to stimulate and cultivate their diverse interests, diverting their attention from gaming. *****When it comes to children's gaming behavior, it requires time and gradual guidance. It is difficult to completely change or eliminate gaming habits all at once, and it may even cause strong resistance and tantrums from the child. However, when necessary, be strict and maintain supervision, but also trust the child when giving them freedom. Do not forget the responsibilities and abilities of parents.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 78, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 78, + "end": 173, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 173, + "end": 284, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 284, + "end": 384, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 384, + "end": 502, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 502, + "end": 508, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 508, + "end": 594, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 594, + "end": 643, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 643, + "end": 738, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 738, + "end": 832, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 832, + "end": 928, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 928, + "end": 1036, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1036, + "end": 1135, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1135, + "end": 1189, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1189, + "end": 1195, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 1195, + "end": 1218, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 1218, + "end": 1257, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 1257, + "end": 1305, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "The issue of children playing games has become very common. As a parent of a second-year junior high school student, I have experienced a long struggle with my child over game-related issues and would like to share some insights: 1. Do not completely dismiss games, as in the world of children, especially among boys, games are a means of communication. 2. Set a clear agreement with your child regarding game time and strictly enforce it. If your child follows the rules well, some encouragement can be given. 3. Take control of electronic devices, this is crucial, do not rely on the child to manage themselves, as even adults cannot do it. 4. Handle the parent-child relationship well, spend more quality time with your child, and cultivate their interests and hobbies. Lead by example, minimizing the use of cell phones in front of your child. Hope this can be helpful.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I feel sorry for you. You must be mentally exhausted. A lush tree bears a flower, and we are pleasantly surprised. We carefully water it every day, hoping it will bear fruit one day. But one day, this flower gets infested with insects. If we don't treat it early, what kind of fruit will it bear? Can we just treat this flower alone? Obviously not. We need to spray medicine on the tree, loosen the soil, fertilize it, water it, and provide enough sunlight. Only when the tree has enough energy can it effectively deliver it to the flower. Playing games is not just a problem for one child, so blaming and controlling alone cannot solve the problem. If our children cannot discipline themselves, then we need to spend more time accompanying their growth. If, as you said, this situation has been going on for a while, then it is not a result of one or two days, and not disciplining them in time is also a kind of indulgence. If we can't achieve the ideal of \"Meng Mu moves three times,\" then spend a little more time with our children and cultivate some good habits and hobbies with them. My hometown is known for tennis, and every day there are buses full of children who come to the tennis court, sweating profusely and consuming their excess energy. In fact, most children who play games are lonely children who gradually become obsessed due to blind companionship.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 7700 + }, + { + "question": "When I was a child, I suffered a lot of unfair treatment at my grandmother's house. My mother didn't do anything about it.", + "description": "When I was a child, I experienced a lot of injustice at my grandmother's house. I even talked to my mother about it, but she is naturally weak and always just listens without doing anything for me. Since then, I have stopped talking about the pain I suffered. However, she once told me not to keep things in my heart and to speak out if there is anything bothering me. Now, I have told her about all the pain I endured at my grandmother's house, but she still hasn't done anything, and I can even sense blame towards me in her eyes, saying it's my maternal family's fault. I hate her so much, why would I have a mother like this? I even feel like hitting her, grabbing her neck and asking her why she behaves this way.", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relations, parent communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. When you were young at your grandmother's house, you suffered unfair treatment. Your mother, however, did not protect you, causing your inner self to be hurt for the second time, feeling sad, disappointed, and in pain. I'm not sure what kind of unfair treatment you experienced at your grandmother's house when you were young, but regardless, it was a great harm to you as a vulnerable child, leaving behind psychological trauma. When we are hurt, the person we first and most desperately seek help and protection from is our parents. But in your experience, your mother's behavior disappointed you. She did not protect you well and did not fulfill a mother's responsibility. This made you angrier and directed your resentment towards your mother, having a desire to attack her in order to release your negative emotions. The parenting style of a family is inherited. You mentioned that your mother is naturally weak. From this, it can be seen that her character was also shaped during her upbringing in your grandmother's house. It is highly possible that she herself has had similar experiences as you, being subjected to unfair treatment from your grandmother's house when she was young, being suppressed and invalidated by them, hence she didn't dare to resist and say \"no\". Denial and avoidance are self-instincts and psychological defense mechanisms. Perhaps deep down in your mother's heart, she still has fear towards your grandmother's house, afraid that your thoughts and actions would offend them and fearful that they would cause harm to her and you again. Therefore, she carries a sense of fear and avoidance towards your complaints, wanting to deny and conceal your accusations. It can be said that your mother, like you, is also a victim of psychological trauma. Back then, she was not capable of protecting herself, and even now, she is still not capable of protecting you. However, she is able to let you express what is in your heart, which shows that she understands you and wants to protect and help you, but she lacks the ability and means to do so, hence she can only respond weakly and passively. The most she can do for you is to listen to your complaints. If you can understand the root cause of your mother's thoughts and behavior, and realize that she is actually a victim just like you, then you will understand that putting your hope for protection on her is an illusion, and directing your anger towards her is a misguided approach and a waste of effort. At this point, if you can understand and accept her, let go of your resentment and attack towards her, and stand together with her, perhaps you can support, console, and heal each other. Regardless of what kind of treatment you and your mother have received at your grandmother's house in the past, regardless of how much dissatisfaction you have towards your mother, what has happened has already happened, and the pain has already been caused. If you continue to dwell in the past suffering, maintain and continue the negative emotions of anger and resentment, these emotions will be strengthened and cause you a second harm. In the past, we didn't have the ability to resist harm and protect ourselves, but now we have grown up, becoming increasingly independent and capable of protecting ourselves, and we also need to rely more on our own strength to protect ourselves. I hope you can quickly move on from the resentment and pain of the past, shift your focus to the present and future life, understand that you love yourself, strengthen and rely on your own power, and live a good life that belongs to you. If needed, you can also seek the assistance of a professional psychologist to help you heal from past pain and rediscover your inner strength. Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13214 + }, + { + "question": "Under the coercion of my boyfriend, I cheated on him. He has a fetish for lustful wives?", + "description": "He coerced me into having sex with other men, making me tell him my feelings and thoughts. He pressured me into having a threesome. What should I do?", + "keywords": "Love, infidelity, sexual behavior.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Your boyfriend's thoughts and behavior are very abnormal and unhealthy. His sexual ideology is abnormal and goes against social morality and the essence of love, hurting your emotions and physical well-being. Although I don't know what kind of experiences or traumas he has had to develop such incorrect sexual beliefs, it is nevertheless harmful to you. Therefore, you should firmly refuse and make your stance clear, safeguarding your rights and freedom. I don't know what kind of feelings he has for you, does he truly love you? And what kind of feelings do you have for him? Do you still love him? If you do, then after expressing your position, try to communicate with him or seek help from a professional counselor to help him untangle his emotional issues and change these unhealthy sexual beliefs, cherishing the relationship between the two of you and attempting to start anew. If he refuses or cannot change, then you and he have incompatible sexual ideologies, and even if you still love him, it will be difficult to continue. It will only harm yourself. Therefore, you must consider leaving him and protecting yourself. No one has the right to force you to violate your own wishes and accept abnormal sexual behavior and love. Protect your own rights, the decision is in your hands. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12407 + }, + { + "question": "Approaching senior year, feeling anxious and fearful, how can I make the future seem hopeful?", + "description": "I am a soon-to-be senior student, but I have failed both the English CET-4 and the Computer Level-2 exams, and even had to retake some courses. I had originally planned to find a finance-related internship during the summer, but I failed to do so. I have fallen into deep self-disgust and anxiety, feeling afraid that I have no skills and no future. The fear of graduating and not being able to find a job, along with the disgust I feel towards myself for being so useless, has trapped me. Can anyone offer some guidance, to tell me what I should do to have hope for the future?", + "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, feelings of panic and helplessness.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, my dear. Based on your description, it seems that you are feeling confused and lost due to the combination of struggling with subjects in college, uncertainty about future work, and self-doubt. Don't worry, we can discuss strategies for dealing with future work, underperforming grades in college, and current coping methods for your reference: \n\n1. Fear of the unknown: Did you know that everyone experiences fear and uncertainty when faced with unfamiliar work? It's natural to feel overwhelmed when entering something new and unfamiliar because it feels beyond our control. Remember how you felt before starting college - excited yet worried? It's similar to the feelings you have now. Everyone experiences a mix of excitement and worry when stepping into a new phase of life. You are not alone in this, so face it calmly. \n\n2. Accepting your current situation: Regarding the subjects in college that you feel you didn't do well in, such as failing the computer second level exam or missing the English level 4 test, these are all in the past. Whether the past was good or bad, it only represents your past, not your present or future. If there's no way to make up for it now, there's no need to dwell on it. Even if we blame ourselves and regret not putting in enough effort, we can't change the past. Instead of spending time and energy on self-blame and regret, let's accept the current situation and accept our past. We can't rewrite the past, but we can write a good present and future. It may take some time to completely let go of the past, but we can gradually shift our focus to the present and future, allowing the past to fade away. You still have time to take the English level 4 and the computer second level exams since it's your senior year. Give it your all and try your best.\n\n3. Moving forward: As mentioned earlier, let's move forward by cherishing the present and making a plan for the future. Think about your goals. Do you want to find a good job? There are many job postings on reputable recruitment websites. Explore what kind of talent they are looking for and identify the gaps between their requirements and your skills. If there are jobs that you really want, you can gradually improve your abilities to match their requirements. This is an effective method that allows you to enhance your skills in the shortest possible time, making you a better fit for the job. Moreover, many companies nowadays are interested in hiring recent graduates and are willing to invest time and effort in their development. So, consider exploring such opportunities as well. However, as your senior, I would advise you not to settle for just any job but to find one that aligns with your goals. Only by heading in the right direction can you get closer to your goals. Also, I hope that in this job, you can learn the skills you need for the future. \n\nLastly, I want to tell you to be confident and daring to try. Everyone has their own path, and it's never too late to start putting in effort. Don't dwell on the past and don't fear the future. Live each day wholeheartedly. That's enough. Hope this helps. May we all become the best version of ourselves... Wishing you all the best!\n", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "As graduation approaches and I begin to think about the future, it is normal to feel anxious. No matter how my college life has been, it is already in the past. So, please remember to focus on today and look towards the future. As a young person in their early twenties in their fourth year of college, there is still plenty of time. I recommend you read the book \"The Hundred-Year Life\", you will gain something from it. When you measure your life in terms of a hundred years, you are only 20% of the way there, so as long as you have dreams, it is never too late. It may just mean success comes later in life. So, think carefully about what kind of life you want to live, what kind of person you want to become, what do you still lack right now, and how can you become a better version of yourself? Once you have determined your big goals, you can break them down into smaller goals, and it's best to quantify each small goal so that you can measure your progress. For example, in terms of learning English, if your goal is to memorize words for today, that is a vague goal. Even memorizing one word is considered a success, so why not set a goal to memorize 20 words today? If you complete the task, you have completed it; if not, you haven't. It's clear. This way, you can better monitor yourself as everyone tends to be lazy. Furthermore, if we try to climb to the third floor in one jump, it's impossible. But if we take one step at a time, we will eventually reach the top one day. So, once you have set your goals, persevere and keep going! The future is promising, so why not seize the moment?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18038 + }, + { + "question": "17-year-old girl, feels that social interactions are all boring, sadness behind the smile?", + "description": "Classmates' interactions often involve acting and hidden layers of disguise. Behind their smiles, there is often sadness, and after sadness, there are smiles again. It's a mix of fake and real, and they are all skilled at saying polite words. They have become experienced in navigating social dynamics, forming cliques and alliances.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, deceit and trust, interpersonal boundaries.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "When I was seventeen, everyone was busy with exams. Kids nowadays grow up too fast. Actually, there's no need to pay too much attention to this. Some people are good at socializing, while others are better at developing their inner selves. When your knowledge reaches a certain level, socializing becomes less important. But you still need to learn basic communication skills. During my first three years of college, I was naive and only did what I liked. I never felt lonely because I liked being alone. I still don't know how to engage in gossip and small talk, even now. But eventually, you have to learn, at least learn to differentiate between good and malicious intentions. External appearance and internal growth, you have to choose one. Because I was naive, I suffered quite a bit. At the very least, don't fall for trickery.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19825 + }, + { + "question": "The wages earned from summer job were directly returned by family members, what should I do?", + "description": "I worked in my parents' friend's new store for 3 days, doing dirty and tiring work. My legs were swollen and bleeding. I couldn't continue anymore. The boss was willing to pay me a regular salary because I worked so hard, but then my mom rejected it and we had a big fight. I don't care how much the salary is, but because of what my mom said about repaying the favor, it feels like my hard work for the past 3 days has been wasted. Did anyone really consider my feelings? Now that the anger has subsided, there is only helplessness and pain. I am truly disappointed in my parents.", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent-child communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "OP, hello, our feelings need to be seen by our family, but this kind of recognition also requires our own efforts to fight for it. Sometimes parents may not have this awareness and consciousness. From your description, I can feel your sadness and pain. Your hard work is not only not seen by your parents, but they respond to it by repaying favors without your consent, which understandably causes you emotional distress. Although your anger has subsided, it is important to communicate openly with your parents and express your feelings and thoughts. It is possible that this is your first job, and you cherish the money you earn through your hard work. You can understand their desire to repay favors, but there are many ways to do so that do not necessarily involve using your salary. You feel very upset and aggrieved about this, and you feel that they do not respect you or consider your feelings, which has left you feeling disappointed, among other things. These feelings of yours need to be made known to them. You have grown up and have your own thoughts and rights, but if similar situations occur again, you must communicate more with your parents, and not tolerate or suppress your feelings. There are often many misunderstandings between parents and children. Resolving these misunderstandings requires not only empathy but also time and love. If your parents care about your feelings, they can discuss privately with friends and have the friends give you the salary normally, and they can pay back the favors themselves in other ways in the future; or they can have an open discussion with you, allowing you to voluntarily return the salary, and afterwards they can give you other rewards to commend and affirm your three days of work, etc. If there is love and concern, there are always many methods available. It is possible that your parents continue to view and behave toward you from the perspective of a child who has no decision-making power or choice, and they are unaware that you have reached an age of autonomy and independence. Perhaps you don't want or dare to express your feelings to your parents, which often leads to a sense of oppression and passiveness. Your way of getting along is for them to make decisions for you, and you helplessly comply, forming a fixed habit. You must be courageous and realize that it is not how important your salary is, but rather how important your feelings are. You need to be aware of advocating for yourself and also make them aware of the importance of respecting and caring for you proactively. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16611 + }, + { + "question": "23-year-old woman, feels too introverted, how to become more extroverted?", + "description": "I feel tired when communicating with others, leading to having very few new friends. I often feel lonely when I'm alone and envy those who are outgoing. My boyfriend often complains that I don't talk or speak too quietly. His friends also think that I don't like to talk. I want to change myself, but I don't know where to start. I really want to fit in, but I can't find topics to discuss and my words are easily ignored.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I carefully read your description. I can sense your distress and dissatisfaction with yourself. You want to change. First, you must honestly ask yourself if you truly want to change. Are you trying to conform to society's judgments of introversion and extroversion? If you don't genuinely want to change yourself, try accepting yourself as you are. You are already fine just the way you are. In fact, introversion and extroversion are not inherently good or bad; they are just societal biases. If you truly want to change yourself or learn to express yourself better, I suggest reading books on communication and public speaking. You can also start by collecting humorous jokes or writing. Don't be afraid of speaking incorrectly; the more you speak and read, the more topics you will naturally have. Wishing you a happy life!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 1649 + }, + { + "question": "Almost 30 years old, always procrastinating with my plans, feeling tired and trapped in a vicious cycle. How can I improve?", + "description": "Always planning, then procrastinating, then feeling anxious and fearful, and then re-planning. Constantly re-planning and fearing not being able to complete, reducing plans due to lack of motivation, feeling tired because of not being treated patiently by parents and teachers in childhood, and being abandoned by pigeons. It's a vicious cycle that is exhausting. How can it be improved? I'm almost 30 years old and I'm really tired. The process of growing up is always full of ups and downs.", + "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, control, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Dear OP: From your words, I can feel your conflicts and helplessness. You know the importance of planning, but you still procrastinate, so the tasks remain unfinished. You have changed the goals of your plans countless times, and it feels exhausting. This exhaustion stems from the fear of not being able to complete the plans, as well as the guilt and self-blame that arise from not being able to fulfill the plans. Hugs to you, I understand the feeling of this exhaustion. Actually, it is human nature to procrastinate. For things we like, we can't wait to do them, even if they may be wrong; for things we don't like, even if reason tells us we should do them, our emotions hold us back from taking the first step. OP, hugs to you, this conflicting and exhausting feeling is something everyone experiences. Most people around the world face a battle between their rational and emotional selves. You are not alone in this fight. In your words, you mentioned your childhood experiences. \"I was never treated patiently by my parents when I was younger.\" From this sentence, I see the reason for your anxiety about not completing plans. When we make mistakes as children, if our parents and teachers impatiently demand that we correct them, or show impatience towards our mistakes, it plants seeds of insecurity in our hearts. As we grow up, when we really want something to succeed (like you mentioned, hoping that your plans will be fulfilled), if things don't go smoothly or if there are many setbacks along the way, we feel very anxious and insecure (at this point, our rational self unconsciously takes on the role of a parent or teacher and criticizes our emotional and procrastinating self). With each change in the plans you made, the anxiety and impatience intensify. So, how can you solve the issue of unfinished plans and improve your procrastination? Here are a few suggestions for you. 1. Think about the reasons that make you give up on your plans Ask yourself why you let go of your determination to execute the plan each time. In the moment of determination to implement the plan, do you have thoughts like: (1) Let's forget it for today and start from tomorrow (tomorrow is no different from today, by tomorrow at this time, you may push the studying plan to the day after tomorrow due to other reasons); (2) Forget it, let's just play games or watch a TV series, it would make you happier than implementing this plan (OP, this is the brain's \"reward promise\" influencing you. The human brain has a \"reward promise\" system. Anything that we think will make us happy will stimulate the reward system. When the reward promise releases dopamine, you become more susceptible to other forms of temptations. But dopamine is not true happiness, it just makes you feel happy doing that thing. But often, after doing it, you will feel more guilty because the original plan wasn't accomplished. For example, every time I want to go to bed early, I think I'll just use my phone for a bit longer, that would be happier. As a result, every time I stay up all night, I am not happy at all, but instead feel guilty and sad because I didn't achieve my goal of going to bed early. You see, that's dopamine fooling me into thinking that staying up all night makes me happy.) 2. Please free yourself from self-blame and guilt OP, understand your conflicting self-blame. But remember, you must escape from these feelings of guilt and conflict. Because when you feel down, it is easier to succumb to temptations, and it is easier to watch TV series or play games instead of implementing the plan when you should. When we are feeling down, our brain will guide us to do things it believes will bring us happiness. So, OP, you must free yourself from these negative emotions in order to truly make a change. 3. There are some small methods and suggestions. For example, set a reasonable goal for yourself, one that can be achieved through a small effort. When making plans, start with the easier ones first, and once you achieve a small goal, you can reward yourself and proceed to the next goal. Instead of changing your unattainable plans each time, it is better to improve the feasibility of the plan. When a simple plan is successfully executed, it provides a huge motivation to our inner self. But if we can't achieve a seemingly perfect goal, it will increase our burden and self-blame. For example, delayed gratification. If the task you set for yourself is to study and learn every day, then set a fixed study time each day. Study first, and after finishing the study tasks, then engage in leisure and relaxation activities (reduce the variability of your behavior, set a goal for a certain time of the day, and how long to study each day). For example, when faced with the temptation of entertainment and not wanting to study, think about your initial goal. For example, find companions who share a common plan, supervise each other, and progress together. I recommend a book: \"Self-Control.\" It contains many useful points, so you might be interested in taking a look. What I mentioned above actually comes from some perspectives in the book \"Self-Control.\" Finally, I want to say to you, achieving one small goal after another is much easier and more sustainable than one long-term plan. You have realized that you need to change, so now, let go of the negative emotions and take the first step towards change, okay?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug~~ Hello dear partner, I'm glad to answer your question. Seeing the problems you described, I can imagine that you feel confused because of your procrastination behavior. So today, let's talk about procrastination and self-management. | Do you really have procrastination? For things that you value in your heart, you won't procrastinate. For example: your girlfriend is waiting downstairs for a date, a friend needs to return your money and is waiting for you downstairs, a deliveryman is waiting at the door for you to pick up a package... For those matters concerning \"life and death\", especially with clear deadlines, you will still complete them on time. For example: your teacher asks you to submit a paper before the weekend, otherwise you won't graduate, you need to prepare a speech manuscript the day after tomorrow morning... In fact, you haven't caused any unforgivable consequences because of so-called procrastination. Procrastination is just your inner expectation of perfection. For example: you have always wanted to read books to improve a certain accomplishment, hoping to improve your figure through fitness... Sometimes, even though you are procrastinating, you are unintentionally preparing. For example, if you need to write a report, although you haven't started yet, you have already collected and organized a lot of information in your life, just waiting for the final \"eruption.\" Therefore, for many things, if you can procrastinate with peace of mind, it shows that you have confidence in your ability to produce a burst of energy at the last moment. For example, staying up until 2 am to complete a study report you have been struggling with for a long time, or finishing three months of data analysis thinking one hour before the end of work... This cycle repeats, and these experiences will constantly increase your confidence in this area. In conclusion, if you think \"I have procrastination\" doesn't sound good, it's better to change it to \"I prioritize things according to their urgency and importance.\" | Self-management It must be admitted that self-management has become the most scarce, precious, and valued ability in our time. From psychoanalysis, Adler proposed the subject's ability to take action, to existentialism and behaviorism emphasizing taking responsibility for oneself; from realism's proposed effective behavior model to postmodernism's popular self-fulfillment, they all emphasize the absolute correlation between self-management ability and individual well-being and development. 1. It is human nature to seek ease and avoid labor. If many things have neither the desire for gain nor the pressure of harm to you, it is normal for you not to persist until the end. Therefore, what you need to do is either find someone or something that can bring you motivation or pressure, or let go of it. 2. How can you have strong self-control when you are physically and mentally exhausted? You can adjust your schedule, go to bed early and wake up early, and leave the best time of the day for yourself. 3. Think about how long the bottom line time for this goal is, and until when you cannot procrastinate anymore? 4. Set reasonable goals for yourself. Set a reasonable and achievable goal, so that there won't be greater resistance and psychological obstacles when taking action. Of course, it's best to break down the goal and complete it in stages. 5. It is normal for a person's emotions to fluctuate. Therefore, you should go along with the fluctuations. When you are in a good state, you can concentrate and improve efficiency, and when you are not in a good state, you can stop and allow yourself to take a break. This is a process of building habits. 6. Think about what initially motivated you to do this thing? If you encounter a situation where you have to choose between \"want to have fun\" and \"do what you should do\" next time, you can compare it with your goal and see if you can make a rational choice. 7. Establish a monitoring mechanism and join an action group. You can communicate with your parents or seek help from a study group to use external forces to supervise and promote your learning. Many times, an individual can't resist the power of a team. I hope the above information will be helpful to you! Keep it up!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello dear, give you a warm hug if you are feeling conflicted and anxious. Researchers in psychology have three criteria for defining procrastination: first, this behavior hinders you from achieving your desired goals, it is unnecessary, simply procrastinating on completing tasks. Second, procrastination often brings stress, guilt, decreased efficiency, panic, and negative evaluations from others regarding your inability to complete tasks or be responsible. Finally, such procrastination can lead to a vicious cycle, further perpetuating the behavior of procrastination. Also, from your description, you mentioned not being treated patiently by parents and teachers when you were young, as well as being abandoned by pigeons. In fact, both of these experiences can give us very negative experiences. Not being treated patiently can make it difficult for us to cope with anxiety and stress when we grow up. In response to the above situation, I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with you. \u2460 Positive emotions and regulating motivation: In terms of motivation, aversion to tasks can affect procrastination, so you can convert disliked tasks into liked tasks or add some rewards to make yourself feel positive emotions in the end. \u2461 Enhancing self-efficacy: Enhancing self-efficacy can largely prevent procrastination. Encourage individuals to self-manage themselves during the task completion process, proactively monitor their behavior, and evaluate intervention expectations. Finally, I hope my answer can provide you with some help. Take care~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Plan only things that you truly want to do and set a deadline for yourself to achieve those goals. When you plan to do something, make sure to do it within 72 hours, otherwise, you might never do it. It seems exhausting to make plans and then procrastinate, but you manage to endure it for such a long time. Where does your motivation to procrastinate come from? What is the purpose of repeatedly making plans? You mentioned not being treated patiently by parents and teachers and being stood up. Now, thinking about those experiences of being blamed, ignored, or rushed, even if you have already let go, it still brings some unpleasant feelings, right? Such as anger, irritation, disappointment, or resentment. Maybe under various pressures, certain emotions don't get a chance to express themselves. Emotions can be hidden but they can also be expressed indirectly. Generally, children have their own ways of dealing with or appeasing parents or teachers who annoy them. Many times, we procrastinate until the last minute, dealing with things we don't want to do but seemingly have to do. Occasionally, some things get postponed indefinitely or someone else does them in a rush, so those unwanted tasks don't have to be done. Even if you end up doing them in the end, the process of procrastination can give you a sense of control, that is: I have to do it, but I can decide when to do it. If the person who assigned the task becomes emotionally agitated because of this procrastination, then they are being influenced and controlled by me. In the past, it was parents or teachers who assigned tasks, but now it might be the boss or yourself. You're almost 30 years old now, and you can take responsibility for your own life. Regardless of the reasons for procrastination, you can solve them on your own. Do things that you want to do for the sake of your goals. In situations where you don't want to do something but have to, you also have choices. You can choose not to do it, choose to procrastinate, or choose to face difficulties for the sake of your goal.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there~ There is a theory in psychology that states there are two motivations for people to take action: intrinsic motivation (internal drive) and extrinsic pressure. When you have a strong motivation for something, you naturally approach it with seriousness, even without external pressure. When the external pressure is strong enough, you will also take action because not doing so means taking risks and facing losses. Your procrastination is actually a habitual avoidance, avoiding the losses and criticism that come with unfinished tasks. When there is a lack of internal motivation, you will only take action when the external pressure increases to a certain degree. Simply put, there are things you don't want to do or think you can't do, so you procrastinate and avoid them until you have no choice but to do them. So how can you change? 1. Explore your internal motivation and give meaning to the tasks you need to do. 2. Add some fun to the tasks you need to do. 3. Break down tasks and reduce difficulty. It must be said that the problem of procrastination cannot be solved with just a few sentences or suggestions. It is recommended to read books on dealing with procrastination and slowly change yourself. For reference only. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I thought the same way as well. I used to believe that it was my lack of willpower, but later I discovered that psychologists believe that humans naturally have weak willpower. So if you really want to have self-control, take it slowly, make small changes, and developing good habits is the most important thing. As you keep going, you will gradually be able to run. Just like an object at rest, it takes a lot of force to make it move, but once it starts moving, it only takes a small force to keep it moving forward.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21362 + }, + { + "question": "In the past, due to negative experiences, I held incorrect belief systems. How can I change them?", + "description": "I used to plant some wrong beliefs about myself due to some negative experiences, for example, that I can't stay silent for a long period of time. Once I find myself alone in a group, such as sitting alone at a desk in school, I start feeling physically uncomfortable and very uneasy. Then, that thought keeps recurring in my mind, making my body feel uncomfortable. However, in reality, whether I am at home or attending tutoring outside, I am alone but have no adverse reactions. How should I go about making changes?", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "OP, (noticing that you asked a similar question on May 29th, I am copying and pasting the response from that day below. I hope you can take action and make a change. Having thoughts lingering in your mind will not be helpful in any way. Changing irrational and incorrect beliefs requires repetitive practice, and when experiencing negative emotions, you should make an effort to calm yourself down. From your description, I can sense your confusion and pain, and these irrational beliefs that you have implanted in your mind are affecting your daily state, making you feel lost. Perhaps you fear intense feelings of loneliness, even though you consciously suppress it. Being alone in places like home or tutoring where there aren't many people around might make you feel more comfortable and not have to pay attention to others' liveliness and happiness, thus isolating yourself. The dining hall, on the other hand, is a place full of life and passion. Being there alone, without anyone around, gives you a deep sense of being ignored and unloved, making you uncomfortable enough to want to escape. During college, I also had similar experiences of feeling even more lonely in lively social settings. I chose to observe the people around me seriously and kindly\u2014the topics they discussed, their clothing and appearance, their personality traits, hobbies, appetite, food preferences, and so on\u2014because I found it interesting to get to know and pay attention to strangers rather than feeling lonely and sad while eating alone. You can try this method, but it might not work for you. In any case, you need to accept the environment you are in instead of constantly wanting to escape because you can't avoid it. Running away once or twice is okay, but you can't avoid all those moments. You can try shifting your focus and encourage yourself to expose yourself to uncomfortable situations more. Only then can you avoid fear and avoidance due to various reasons. When you find thoughts lingering in your mind and unable to go away, you can immediately play some music and listen carefully to every lyric. Then imagine the scenes and the songwriter's emotions, etc. Alternatively, you can simply focus on eating your meal well and silently recite numbers or imagine how the dish in front of you is prepared and whether you could make it or not. In short, shift your attention to other things. When you start seriously imagining something else, you will temporarily escape from the troubling thoughts. Remind yourself multiple times to shift your focus instead of falling into negative imaginations and getting stuck deeper and deeper. Don't rush and accept your failures, because changing ingrained beliefs requires long-term efforts and perseverance. Good luck.)", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 21711 + }, + { + "question": "22-year-old girl, has always been very lacking in self-confidence, feeling trapped in a whirlpool?", + "description": "I am not very confident about my appearance. I have a set of straight buck teeth, so I don't like taking photos and don't know how to smile. I also have a hunchback, so my posture is really bad. I want to change, but even if I fix my hunchback, I still don't think I'm good-looking. I don't even dare to wear skirts outside because I feel it would be really strange, and my movements would be awkward. I think others would look at me and find me very strange. I care too much about what others think of me and want to have a perfect impression in front of them, but it's really exhausting. I often say to myself that I hate myself, why am I so embarrassing, why can't I let go, why am I so awkward. I feel like I don't have any strengths. Lacking confidence really makes everything difficult for me. I feel like I'm always embarrassing myself, and I keep thinking about those embarrassing moments, so I'm even more afraid to be myself. I feel like I'm trapped in a whirlpool and can't escape.", + "keywords": "Personal growth, character development, self-improvement, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "@Hello classmate, seeing your sadness, I really want to give you a big hug! First of all, you need to love yourself. The problems you mentioned, such as crooked teeth and hunched back, can be changed through corrective measures. Your appearance does indeed affect your self-confidence. Secondly, you care too much about what others think, which can affect your mood. Everyone has different understandings of beauty and things. It is impossible to make everyone like you. Imperfection is also a kind of beauty. Lastly, your inferiority complex may be influenced by your family environment. Here are some suggestions, hoping you can take action: 1. Stop saying that you hate yourself. It will only make you lose more and more confidence. 2. To become self-confident, start by recognizing your strengths, not just your appearance but also your inner qualities. For example, being kind, having strong analytical abilities, doing things perfectly, etc. Affirm yourself a little every day. 3. Accept your imperfections and amplify your advantages. Let your strengths shine. 4. Realize that you were born with talents, it's just not the right time or you haven't worked hard enough yet. 5. Love yourself so that others can love you. Be kind to yourself. Love you.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 25, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + }, + { + "start": 25, + "end": 36, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 36, + "end": 80, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 80, + "end": 159, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 159, + "end": 175, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 175, + "end": 200, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 200, + "end": 257, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 257, + "end": 283, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 283, + "end": 308, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 308, + "end": 327, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 327, + "end": 329, + "type": "Approval and Reassurance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 7893 + }, + { + "question": "I personally feel that sometimes I have anxiety disorder and sometimes I have obsessive-compulsive disorder.", + "description": "Could you please tell me how to distinguish between anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder? Personally, I feel like I sometimes have anxiety disorder and other times I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, my experience with obsessive-compulsive disorder comes from intrusive thoughts, which means I cannot escape from persistent thoughts and often use them to guide my actions. For example: in a pyramid, wolves, eagles, tigers, and pharaohs represent solitary and dominant figures, while slaves, sheep, and ducks represent weak and group-oriented figures. Therefore, I don't know how to navigate a university environment, which is a group setting, and this is causing me distress. Secondly, you feel happy when you are doing something you enjoy and are confident in. However, you also feel anxious when you are compelled or threatened to do something you don't like or lack confidence in. Thirdly, many people advise me to step out of my comfort zone, but my obsessive thoughts make me feel like that would be going against myself, which prevents me from being true to myself. In other words, fish in the sea cannot live on land. Ultimately, my obsessive thoughts and anxiety have caused me to be distant from and rejected by friends. They think I am too introverted, self-centered, and unfriendly. What should I do? I really want to clarify the interpretation and methods for anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Thank you!", + "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, hypochondria, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I do not know if the symptoms you mentioned are diagnosed by a doctor or inferred by yourself. The manifestations of anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder can be different, but there is also deep anxiety behind obsessive-compulsive disorder. Anxiety is the fear of the unknown and uncertainty. Therefore, regardless of the situation, if you feel that it is affecting your interpersonal relationships and are distressed about it, you should seek attention. Seek timely medical diagnosis or consult with a therapist for professional advice. Usually, it is not possible to solve any problems through a simple Q&A. Honestly, I didn't quite understand your question. There are many ways to alleviate anxiety: 1) mindfulness, meditation, hypnosis, psychological counseling, and medication. 2) Be kind to yourself and allow yourself more, instead of constantly telling yourself what you can or cannot do. 3) Pay more attention to yourself and how you interact with yourself, rather than focusing solely on external factors. 4) Engage in hobbies and physical exercise. 5) Try to express your true feelings instead of pretending to be someone you're not just to please others. Practice this with people you are familiar with. 6) Engage in more practical activities and try to turn the unknown into the known through various means. 7) If you are unable to relax or experience a sense of relaxation, you can try tightening different parts of your body while taking a breath. Practice tightening and then hold your breath for a while before exhaling through the mouth and allowing the corresponding parts of your body to relax. You can train regularly to experience the feeling of relaxation.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 114, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 114, + "end": 158, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 158, + "end": 179, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 179, + "end": 190, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 190, + "end": 211, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 211, + "end": 242, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 242, + "end": 274, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 274, + "end": 293, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 293, + "end": 342, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 342, + "end": 372, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 372, + "end": 477, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + }, + { + "answer_text": "Personal belief: I think everyone will experience anxiety at some point. Anxiety is a characteristic that people display when facing difficulties, similar to how primitive humans constantly need to be wary of large carnivorous animals. Regarding OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), it depends on the cause of the compulsions. Only by identifying the cause and analyzing the pros and cons within a larger context, such as the environment and one's position, can one break free from existing behavior patterns or persist in following them.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 10506 + }, + { + "question": "I wish I could get sick and just die... Am I sick?", + "description": "I always have strange thoughts and feel that it would be better if I could get sick and die. I don't cherish my own physical health and my sleep schedule is messed up. I also constantly think about living in a new city where no one knows me... I don't know if there's something wrong with me, I'm a little scared.", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological crisis, abnormal behavior.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, do you want to escape from your current life? Whether you want to die or move to a new city, it is a form of escape. Wanting to escape means there is a reason behind it. The current living environment and situation are making you feel oppressed and unwanted, right? So, who or what specifically do you want to escape from the most? Identifying the specific person or thing might help find a solution, without necessarily having to completely and entirely escape. If there are certain people who disgust or annoy you, you can distance yourself from them; if there are certain things you don't want to do, you can try refusing them; if the environment makes you uncomfortable, you can consider changing it. ...If conditions allow, maybe you can even consider moving to a place where nobody knows you. However, this might not completely solve the problem. It's true that getting away from people, things, and environments you dislike can alleviate the problem to some extent, but sooner or later, you still have to face your inner self, which you cannot escape from. You can consider seeing a psychologist or counselor to explore your inner world and achieve personal growth. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16110 + }, + { + "question": "Dog lover, I was deceived into eating dog meat and I feel very upset. What should I do?", + "description": "There is a person who is not very familiar with me, eating dog meat in front of me and asking me why I'm not eating it. I said, \"I don't eat dog meat because I have a pet dog.\" One day, he invited me to dinner and specially ordered a plate of dog meat for me. I didn't know it was dog meat. He watched me eat and asked, \"How does it taste? Is it delicious?\" I said, \"The taste is good, what kind of meat is this? It's quite tasty.\" He stared at me and said, \"This is dog meat, didn't you say you don't eat dog meat? I didn't expect you to be so contradictory.\" I felt a little disgusted at that time, what should I do?", + "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxious emotions, guilt and shame.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. OP, who is a dog lover, owns a dog. However, OP was tricked by a friend into eating a plate of dog meat. This makes OP feel disgusted, and I understand OP's feelings. For ordinary people, dogs are just animals and do not hold any particular meaning. But for dog lovers, dogs are not just small animals, they are like family members. They accompany us, and are loyal to us, just like humans. OP's friend is really out of line, even though OP had already told them that they don't eat dog meat, they deliberately ordered a plate of dog meat for you, and then told you it was dog meat, mocking you for being inconsistent. We have never eaten dog meat, so naturally we don't know what it tastes like. When we don't know that it is dog meat, this dish is actually no different from ordinary meat. So, OP, don't blame yourself too much. It's not your fault in this matter, but your friend's fault. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 2453 + }, + { + "question": "Women, who are currently in a relationship characterized by constant reporting, feel annoyed. What should they do?", + "description": "Reporting-style relationships make me feel annoyed. I have to report every little thing to the other person. If I don't reply to a message for one second, they go crazy, act like a lunatic, and start arguing with me. It leaves me speechless... How should I solve this issue with him?", + "keywords": "Love, managing relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the last sentence you wrote is about solving \"him\", not \"it\", and I can't help but laugh a little because it seems like you're asking how to break up with him. But I think you still care about him a lot, so you're asking how to make your boyfriend less clingy. Your boyfriend seems to be an \"anxious attachment type\" who wants to be with his partner all the time, needs support from his partner, and wants you to desire intimacy as much as he does. Whenever you show the slightest bit of hesitation, he becomes sensitive, sinks into a low mood, and overthinks things, and he takes out these negative emotions on you. Just as you described: going crazy, having tantrums, and arguing. I think you did a good job initially, trying to meet his needs and taking care of his insecurity. \"Even though I always report and reply to your messages as fast as possible, there are still moments when I'm doing my own thing and can't respond to you right away. But the result is that you don't understand me and blame me, and I'm truly exhausted.\" We can't change others, but if you're willing and he wants to, we can discuss the underlying emotions behind his outbursts with him. As I mentioned before, attachment styles are formed based on the nurturing experiences during infancy with the mother. There is no fixed pattern, perhaps you can discuss with him, \"how did your mother take care of you when you were little?\" The common assumption is that when he had needs (like hunger and wanting to drink milk, having a dirty diaper, or desiring his mother's company), sometimes his mother would fulfill them, and sometimes she wouldn't, causing him to be unsure if his needs would be met each time. As he grew up and had classmates, friends, and romantic partners, in interactions with important people (referring to very important people, like close friends), he might have experienced being suddenly abandoned multiple times, also known as \"uncertainty in having his (socializing) needs met.\" Therefore, in subsequent dealings with important people, which is you at the moment, he needs to constantly be reassured that you are still by his side, that you still love him, and that you won't suddenly disappear... If you start to withdraw, he will be disappointed again, saying, \"See, nobody really loves me.\" But in reality, it is his own \"excessive\" need that proves this conclusion. You have already tried your best to fulfill his needs and provide him with a sense of security. The remaining issue lies with him - \"is it because I didn't reply to your message immediately or is it because of yourself?\" (Of course, we can't ask him directly, but you can ask, \"What were you thinking when I didn't reply to your message immediately?\" \"Is your insecurity because I didn't reply to you or because it triggers unpleasant experiences from your past?\" \"What do you want me to do?\"... Perhaps he will still express his need for you to reply immediately, then you can tell him, \"I understand that you want to constantly confirm if I'm there or not, but I also have my own things to do, and I really can't immediately respond to you. What I can promise you is that even if I don't reply to you, I still like you and have no intention of leaving you.\" Give him some reassurance, maybe it will reduce his anxiety. That's all.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the person in question may have an anxious attachment style. Constantly worrying about something may make you feel suffocated, untrusted, and even disrespected. Even in a close romantic relationship, there should be appropriate boundaries. When you are not together, you can each do your own thing independently. His anxiety and worries may stem from several aspects. The questioner can consider which aspects are more relevant:\n1. There may have been past trauma in relationships, which has damaged the trust in partners. Worries about being deceived. Therefore, he must always be vigilant. Although he knows that you may not do such things, anxiety is beyond his control, and he can only temporarily calm himself by constantly checking up on you.\n2. He may have a stronger need for intimacy than you and longs to know what you are doing all the time. Once separated, he becomes anxious, restless, and unable to focus on his own things. It's like a child being away from his closest family members. He feels secure only when he confirms what you are doing.\n3. He exercises excessive control over the actions of his partner, using it as a means to constantly maintain a sense of control that he needs. This point depends on whether he is also like this in other aspects of life.\nRegardless of the situation, it is important for you to understand your position in this process. Simply complying with his demands will not truly improve the relationship. Instead, take the opportunity to communicate more deeply, listen to his thoughts on relationships, and express your own thoughts. Mutual understanding and empathy are important. Sometimes, it is not necessary to eliminate that sense of unease through external means. The relationship itself can become a source of healing. By expressing your feelings of discomfort, you have shown that you have your own boundaries, at least not completely being absorbed by him. The rest requires deeper psychological communication. We can explore other factors if there is an opportunity. I wish you a smooth relationship!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! It is really uncomfortable to always feel like you need to report everything and be under constant surveillance. So, in order to break free from this control and achieve freedom, while also maintaining a good relationship with both parties, my suggestions are as follows: \n\nStep 1: Alleviate your own emotions. When a person is in a state of intense emotions, their thinking becomes narrow and they may make irrational decisions. Therefore, the first step is to alleviate your emotions. Although his controlling behavior makes you uncomfortable, please think about why you chose to be in a relationship with him instead of someone else. This indicates that there are certain qualities about him that you appreciate. It is also possible that you actually enjoy the feeling of being noticed, but the excessive attention makes you feel restricted. So, being with someone like him is ultimately your choice, and you have also had happy experiences in your relationship. When you think about these things, do you feel better?\n\nStep 2: Communicate with him to find out the reasons behind his behavior. Usually, when everything requires you to report to him, it is a sign of insecurity. First, you need to have an open and honest conversation with him to find out the reasons behind his insecurity. It could be related to how his parents raised him. Perhaps he did not receive enough love during his upbringing, leading to his lack of security. Or maybe his parents also used excessive attention and control, and he learned this behavior from them and is now applying it to you. Another possibility is that he has experienced betrayal or other traumas, which is why he uses controlling behavior as a way to avoid getting hurt again.\n\nStep 3: Express understanding, empathy, and positive attention. Tell him that it is understandable to feel insecure and have the desire to know everything about others after going through such experiences. Let him know that you empathize with his past traumas and that you want to provide him with love to make him happy. Praise him for courageously pursuing love and believing in it even after going through those experiences. Thank him for his attention and let him know that you feel his care and love, but too much attention makes you uncomfortable. When you feel uncomfortable, it is reflected in your behavior and some of the things you say, which can also make him feel uncomfortable. Tell him that you both need to adjust this interaction pattern so that both parties feel comfortable and you can stay together in a harmonious state.\n\nStep 4: Gradually adjust the interaction pattern. Here, it is important to emphasize that steps one to three should serve as a foundation before addressing his behavior. Especially, you need to fully empathize with him and provide him with reassurance, making him feel your overflowing love and support, which will give him the motivation to change his behavior. Adjusting his behavior should be done gradually. First, discuss and come up with an ideal interaction pattern together. Then break down this ideal behavior pattern into smaller steps and gradually implement them. For example, if currently you share your daily activities with him 10 times a day, the highest goal (Goal 1) could be to limit the number of times you share each other's activities to no more than 3 times a day. Note that this applies to both parties, meaning that you both inform each other about what you are doing. And try to do it proactively without the need for the other person to inquire. Intermediate goals (Goal 2 and Goal 3) could be limiting the number of times to no more than 5 and 7 respectively. Start from Goal 3 and work your way towards Goal 1 progressively, completing one goal before moving on to the next, until you reach the ideal goal agreed upon by both parties. Please note that these three goals are just suggestions, and the specific goals need to be determined and agreed upon together as only both parties recognizing and accepting them will lead to actions being taken.\n\nLastly, I want to share with you the key secret to dealing with a controlling partner, which is to give him enough love and warmth. When he feels secure without the need for control, his controlling behavior will decrease or even disappear. I hope you have a good mood!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I understand this isn't a lot of information, so I'll provide my perspective on the underlying reasons for your reference. To address how to solve this, we need to analyze the situation further. First, there are two characteristics in the other person's behavior: control and losing control. Clearly, the purpose of control is to prevent losing control. So why does the other person need such extreme control? It's because they are extremely afraid of losing control; in that moment, they are consumed by a great fear of being abandoned. In psychology, there is a term called fixation. Someone with significant separation anxiety is likely fixated on the developmental stage between 1-3 years old. During this stage, the psychological task is to achieve individuation, which means the child learns how to appropriately separate from important objects both physically and psychologically. If this stage is not completed successfully, the person will lack confidence in relationships and will seek to grasp onto things in order to gain temporary peace. Another aspect is called object constancy. In normal development, a child around the age of three can maintain a mental representation of their mother even when she is physically absent. Due to this, the child does not experience as much fear. This is why it is recommended for children to start attending kindergarten at the age of three based on psychological principles. When there is a delay in response, arguments, or tantrums, it is actually the child engaging in an interaction pattern with their mother. Because at that moment there is no response, it instantly triggers a psychological experience of being three years old and results in immense anxiety. In their eyes, if they can't see you, you don't exist, and they fear your nonexistence, which is why they seek control over everything to prevent this anxiety. Why does this situation only occur in your relationship and not in others? It's because only in the context of your relationship do they regress; other relationships, such as social ones, do not provide the opportunity for regression. However, regression easily occurs in intimate relationships. It truly requires maturity to enter into an intimate relationship, otherwise, it becomes a torment for both parties involved. It's important to clarify that they are not doing this on purpose; they are truly submerged in this immense fear. They are also in great pain. If you are mature enough, stable, and full of love, you can accompany them in their growth; however, during this process, you will expend significant energy, and it will take a long time\u2014several years or even decades\u2014to gently and persistently support their growth. Remember, their psychological development is fixated at the age of three, but their energy and strength are not. I hope you can carefully evaluate this before making a decision. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP! I'm glad to provide you with some of my thoughts and insights based on your description, hoping to help you in some way. Before this, there was already a response to your question. In some aspects, I agree with it. This kind of reporting-style relationship fundamentally stems from the other person's insecurity. This sense of insecurity makes the other person feel like a drowning person desperately grasping at a straw, so I won't say more about it. My approach here may be different from the previous one. I will tell you what I think is the best solution. First, let's put ourselves in the shoes of your boyfriend, meaning you are your boyfriend, now imagine if someone sets rules for us as individuals, saying when they won't reply to us, how many times they will reply to us, how would we feel? We would feel disappointed and hopeless. Why is that? It's because it's like we're drowning and someone tells us when they will and won't save us. How would we react to this? We would hate them. \"You're letting me drown, and you're telling me when you'll save me or not, how unreasonable! You might as well say you won't save me!\" It's like you're speaking cooly to me. If you say you won't save me, I'll wait calmly for my death, right? I won't struggle anymore. You're just playing with me! This kind of response completely abandons us and doesn't address the root of the problem. We are drowning, and even if they save us, all they do is lift our heads above water so we don't drown. But they don't bring us to shore. If they save us and still talk about when they will do it, is that right? So if we really want to deal with this situation, we need to address the root problem, which is the other person's insecurity. We need to confront this problem head-on and solve it. If we really can't solve it, breaking up is the best choice, and I believe no one will have regrets because we tried our best. We know the outcome. If we don't address this root problem, it may eventually lead to leaving with a sense of guilt. In the worst case, both parties may drown. At this point, you need to figure out why the other person always wants you to reply to messages and why they need to have a reporting-style relationship with you. What is the fundamental reason behind it? In a general sense, is it due to insecurity? But how did this insecurity arise? What kind of experiences did they go through in the past or what kind of living environment led to this? This is crucial. Many people may face this situation and simply say, \"I won't leave you, I won't leave.\" But they haven't truly understood what happened to the other person. This is very dangerous. For example, reporting-style relationships may be due to the other person's fear of you cheating or leaving them. However, please trust me, these are just superficial reasons. They are not the root cause. Even if you tell them a thousand or ten thousand times that you won't cheat or leave, it won't solve the issue. It's important to understand why the other person is afraid of you cheating. If it's because they think you're too beautiful or too outstanding and feel unworthy of you, then understand why they think you're so beautiful and outstanding and why they believe they aren't good enough for you. Instead of trying to make yourself less attractive or less outstanding, because when two people are in a relationship, it means they have a considerable level of agreement. So why doesn't the other person agree with this? This is worth pondering and continuing to dig deeper. At the same time, with issues like this, they won't be resolved after just one or two conversations, it's not possible to completely uncover everything in a short time. This is when you need to tell them about your difficulties and helplessness. Let them know the pain caused by this reporting-style relationship and the impact on your relationship. Tell them that you hope to have a more comfortable and happier relationship, rather than saying it's making you uncomfortable. This will increase their sense of guilt, while making us more comfortable will give them a sense of fulfillment through this change. In the end, I sincerely wish you a happier and more joyful life.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Give you a warm hug! Good love brings you troubles and irritations, and I believe you are under certain psychological pressure in this relationship. When you feel that this is a reporting-style relationship, besides feeling irritated, you can try to communicate your thoughts with your boyfriend. So how do we communicate? It is suggested to communicate from the following aspects: \n1. Take the initiative to explain your plans and arrangements to your boyfriend in advance, and let him know that you may not be able to reply to his messages immediately. \n2. Use positive communication methods to communicate. For example, if your boyfriend wants to know some things that you consider small, you can tell him that it would be more comfortable to have a little bit of independent space, so that he can understand that not every detail needs to be reported and can know your true feelings.\n3. Seriously communicate about each other's expectations of the way of interaction, what are your boundaries, what are his boundaries, and reach a consensus on how to interact with each other.\n4. Build a foundation of mutual trust, let your boyfriend feel secure in this relationship, and at the same time, you need to give yourself enough sense of safety to accommodate the interaction patterns between you and your boyfriend. \nIf it is difficult to reach a consensus after communication, it may be necessary to think about whether this relationship is suitable for you, and then consider the maintenance of the relationship. I hope this can give you some courage and confidence to face the frustrations. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, mental health counselor. From your description, it seems that your boyfriend has a strong need for control. He requires a strong sense of control to confirm whether the relationship is genuine, and this stems from his lack of security. It's similar to a drowning person who needs something to hold on to in order to feel saved. Even children have moments like this: when they don't get a response, they will yell, scream, and even throw tantrums. If you give a response once but not the next time, they will escalate their behavior. This creates a vicious cycle. The only way to resolve this with children is to make them understand that regardless of how they act, once the rules are established, they must abide by them. Don't argue or engage in their tantrums, but firmly maintain your principles. Therefore, my advice is: (1) Establish rules for how you both interact. During work/school hours, I will only give you three messages. At other times, it depends on my mood, because I am a person and I need my own space. (2) Stick to your principles, and do not break the rules that you have set. I wish you a better life. I recommend a book called \"Willing to Let the One You Love Suffer.\" I hope you both can grow together and face your future together. Good luck!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I understand your point, it is an unnamed annoyance. The best solution is through crucial dialogue, deep, continuous, and effective communication and conversation, to deepen mutual understanding, recognition, and comprehension, to achieve a state of nurturing, attachment, witnessing, and assisting each other, and supporting each other. However, it is difficult to promote such a beautiful setting in reality. Who can achieve nonviolent communication? Who can truly understand and empathize with others? Therefore, we can only understand each other through intimate relationships in practice, understand ourselves better, and thus achieve cognitive recognition of society and personal growth. Don't be discouraged, my dear, your excellent experiences will surely help you accelerate your growth and maturity. As long as we continue to learn, improve our cognition, enhance friendship, and integrate into society, we can navigate through the complex yet simple current of humanity! You're amazing!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello. Please think about how you would feel if you were not in this relationship and were an outsider observing their interactions in this way. Would you feel fear? Anxiety? Irritation? Pressure? Now, please consider how you think their relationship will develop. Will it get better and better? Or will one party feel too much pressure and leave? It seems that the party wanting to leave may not find it easy to do so because the other party may not easily let go. If they stay together, constant phone calls, inquiries, and checking of phones may become a common occurrence. \"Don't talk to strangers!\" scenes from TV dramas may happen in one's own life. Why does this happen? It is related to the growth experiences of both parties. Individuals with low self-worth, lack of confidence, and inner insecurity tend to be suspicious and jealous. If they want to maintain this kind of relationship, you can suggest that they seek psychological counseling to rebuild confidence, as this is also possible. A person who is mentally mature and has a healthy personality can better experience their own happiness and bring happiness to the other person in the relationship. If the other person does not change, this kind of relationship will be very hard. I hope this is helpful to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5419 + }, + { + "question": "18 year old female, why am I so afraid of being criticized by others and unable to adjust?", + "description": "19-year-old girl, even though my teachers, friends, and elders say that I have a good personality, sometimes even if it's not strict criticism, just if someone speaks a little louder or asks why I didn't do something well, I feel uncomfortable for a long time, thinking for a long time. I feel like I can't handle other people's criticism, how can I adjust this state? Thank you.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, self-acceptance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Title: Hello! It's natural to be afraid of criticism and find it difficult to bear. Many people, including myself, prefer performing over criticizing. How can we improve our psychological resilience? Firstly, observe the critic's emotions. If the critic is expressing certain emotions, particularly anger or frustration, you can discount their criticism and separate it from the exaggerated elements caused by their emotions. Wait until they calm down before seeking more detailed clarification. Secondly, try to see criticism as directed towards actions rather than towards oneself. If the critic is directly criticizing you as a person, you can ask: \"What exactly are you talking about?\" If the criticism can be grounded in specific situations, it won't create pressure that damages your self-esteem. Instead, it allows you to focus on discovering the root of the problem, turning dissatisfaction or self-blame into an understanding of the issue at hand. Thirdly, increase your courage to face problems. Things done poorly can become an issue in the eyes of others. If someone points it out, you should face it with composure, think about what you didn't do well, and consider how to do better next time. If needed, you can explain your thoughts to the critic. If you're unsure about the problem or how to adjust in the future, you can ask the critic if they have any suggestions or better solutions. By approaching criticism in this manner, you can learn from the issues highlighted, the critic receives your feedback and communication, and their purpose of criticism is achieved. In this way, the relationship between both parties won't be damaged, but instead deepen through the communication spurred by the problem. Slow down and don't rush. You can start by trying to transform the desire to avoid criticism and not respond to it into an objective approach to problem-solving and asking questions to understand these types of issues (if initially afraid to ask the critic, start by asking yourself if you understand the problem). Once you've adapted to this step, try whether it's possible to communicate with the critic and achieve a mutual exchange of perspectives on the raised issues. This may seem like a challenging process, but you can give yourself time and take it step by step.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello. Mei feels the same way about you. Because Mei used to be like this before, especially when she was a child, she would cry when she saw a disapproving look from her father. That feeling really cannot be accurately expressed in words. It's like a combination of disappointment, self-blame, and grievance... 1. Everyone has their own standards. But as we grow up, we will understand that what others consider good or bad is judged according to their own standards, and each of us has our own standards. For example, you think that smiling politely when meeting someone is considered polite. But mom and dad think that while you smile, you should also greet the other person and say hello to aunty or uncle... That's what they consider polite. This is because everyone has different standards. The key is whether you agree with others' standards, if you don't agree, then it doesn't matter. 2. Set yourself a small goal. Give yourself a small goal and every day, bit by bit, work to achieve it. By completing one small goal after another... your confidence will gradually increase. When you are strong enough, when you have your own set of criteria, and you think that what you are doing is okay, then you won't care too much about other irrelevant opinions. 3. Love yourself. We are all growing and improving continuously. Nobody is perfect, so there is no need to demand perfection. If today you are a little better than yesterday, that is progress. Give yourself more time and patience, and love yourself, my dear. The above is for reference. May we all live the way we want to... Wishing you, who is reading this, to get better and better!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel. I have experienced something similar before, where my parents and teachers would criticize me or speak louder to me, and I would wonder if they were dissatisfied with me or if I was really that bad... In reality, we all want to be liked by others and no one enjoys being criticized, so it's normal for you to have an emotional reaction when facing criticism. It's understandable because no one likes the feeling of being criticized, right? So, it's natural to feel troubled. According to the ABC theory of emotions, our emotions and reactions are determined by our cognitive interpretation of the triggering events. It means that event A doesn't directly cause our emotional reaction C, but rather our interpretation B of the event leads to our emotional reaction C. For example, in my own case, my parents speaking louder to me is event A, and my interpretation B is that I must have done something wrong, they don't like me anymore, I'm being invalidated, I can't do anything right, I'm useless. These kinds of thoughts lead to emotional reaction C, which is feeling scared and lacking confidence. You can consider whether you have similar thoughts when you hear criticism. In fact, the interpretations I mentioned above contain the characteristics of extreme negativity and absolutist demands, which are not advocated by the ABC theory of emotions. Now, I have learned to change my thoughts to regulate my emotions. You can consider this too, I hope it helps. For example, if you receive criticism for performing poorly in an exam, you can think like this: Did I really perform very poorly this time? It seems like it. But does performing poorly this time mean I'm a useless person? No, I've done well in exams before, and I've done practice exercises quickly and correctly before... Does my parents really stop loving me just because of this? No, they still take care of my daily life and they still care about me. Why didn't I achieve the desired grades this time? Oh, it's because I didn't practice enough regularly, I made the same mistakes again, it seems like I didn't remember the reasons for my mistakes and the correct ways to answer, it's because I carelessly didn't read the question carefully... So, what should I do if I encounter a similar situation next time? I can add more practice, summarize my mistakes, remember better ways to answer, and remind myself to pay attention while taking the exam... I hope the above content is helpful to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16247 + }, + { + "question": "After reporting a false alarm, I feel a lot of self-blame. What should I do?", + "description": "Yesterday, due to a quarrel with my younger brother, he wanted to grab a knife but didn't. So, I lectured him and said I could call the police and have him arrested for carrying a knife. He didn't take it seriously and I ended up dialing 110 (emergency number in China). I thought they would ask us to come to the police station, but I didn't expect them to come to our door. Although we cancelled the call, the police arrived quickly. I feel very sorry about this, as it wasted police resources. I am deeply remorseful now. I am not a child, yet I did such a thing. I feel very guilty about my impulsiveness at that time. I really don't know what to do.", + "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, guilt and shame, emotion regulation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Author, hello~~~ I want to give you a warm hug~ I can understand your feelings very well. Although you originally intended to educate your younger brother, you unintentionally caused a \"prank\" and wasted police resources. I think maybe you can go to the police station and sincerely apologize to the officers who responded at that time, and assure them that such situations will not happen again, causing them trouble. At the same time, perhaps you can also change the way you interact with your brother in the future. If your brother shows any signs of violence again, such as carrying a knife or other aggressive behavior, you can patiently guide him or give a stern warning, but without involving any actions that may impact public resources. If you still feel guilty, maybe you can pay attention to public welfare projects or volunteer in social work to compensate for the self-blame for using social resources. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me. The report you made about feeling powerless when dealing with your brother holding a knife and seeking social support shows maturity. However, when the police came, you felt that your situation was too insignificant and not worth involving the police, which indicates that you are aware of exaggerating the situation and therefore feel guilty. First of all, it is a good thing that you are willing to seek other sources of help to deal with your difficulties, as it will be beneficial for finding a solution to your problem. Secondly, being aware of going too far with the problem and stopping it in time is also a good practice. Lastly, feeling guilty is a natural expression of emotions, and it is inevitable for you to confront and address it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15377 + }, + { + "question": "Why am I afraid to have physical contact with others?", + "description": "I will only engage in physical contact with my mother, and I avoid any physical contact with anyone else. I long to hold hands or playfully embrace my crush, who is a boy. I envy and feel jealous when I see my other friends playfully roughhousing. I always keep my distance and wonder why I am like this.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, social adaptation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Japanese psychologist, Masuma Morita, discovered a pattern that the more one tries to \"escape\" or \"interfere\" with neurotic symptoms such as \"allergies\", the more the symptoms intensify. He proposed the idea of \"letting things take their natural course and doing what needs to be done\", treating this excessive sensitivity by not interfering and allowing them to flow freely, observing them perform to their fullest extent. With all the \"sensitivity\", one should engage with others and things. Through repeated and careful observation, one can perceive the wonders of all emotional experiences and feelings. It is entirely possible to coexist with these experiences, be friends with them, and even have them as lifelong companions.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 16566 + }, + { + "question": "Should I tell dad that mom is having an affair?", + "description": "When using my mom's phone, I saw the chat history between my mom and that person. Should I tell dad?", + "keywords": "Family, family relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, should the original poster. Hug you. When using my mom's phone, I saw the chat records between my mom and that person. Should I tell my dad or not? Before understanding the situation well, it is better not to make rash decisions and not to act recklessly. Just seeing the phone and its chat records may not necessarily indicate anything. It could be an emotional connection without physical involvement. Whether forgiveness is possible depends on the individuals involved. Infidelity partly arises from dissatisfaction with the other party. In fact, both parties bear responsibility in this matter. It is an unfortunate event for any family. If there is already a crack in the relationship, telling your dad will only make the crack bigger and deeper. However, it is not suitable for you to be the one to speak about this matter, as you have the blood of both individuals flowing through you. Regardless of which side you stand on, it won't end well if you speak up. Imagine if you told your father and their relationship worsened, it would affect their mood and also impact you. Furthermore, if you tell your father, would they really get a divorce? Would they endure the pain and discomfort just to save face in front of you? By telling your father, your mother might feel that you are not on her side and might regret raising and caring for you. It's possible that you sympathize with the one being cheated on, thinking they are being treated unfairly and pitifully. But you should also consider the other side - is there really no fault on the part of the one being cheated? Even if they are not at fault, couldn't they have done something better? Or rather, this kind of situation is just too cruel. The risks of it happening are high when there is not a full understanding of each other. It is indeed a very difficult subject. Therefore, you don't need to directly tell your father; there are other ways to make him aware. And it's important for your parents to know that: 1. You love them both. 2. You don't want their relationship to become worse. 3. What you need to do is to bring them together, to strengthen their bond, rather than telling them anything that might lead to separation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 5142 + }, + { + "question": "Girls who have dated both the opposite sex and the same sex may discover that they still have feelings for men?", + "description": "A girl previously dated a boy, but after being hurt by him, she started dating a girl and became bisexual. After they broke up, she developed feelings for her best friend. Later, she didn't identify as bisexual anymore, but she couldn't forget about that boy. She still had feelings for him, but also had romantic reactions towards other girls. What kind of mentality is this?", + "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "I personally have always believed that it is normal to like the same sex or the opposite sex, or even both (personally inclined to appreciate qualities or abilities). However, one time I heard a sentence about how our true orientation can be determined by whether we feel \"impulse\" or \"temptation\" towards the same sex or the opposite sex, probably through instincts and feelings to sense whether the objects we appreciate are male or female. So I want to collect information about the aspects and characteristics of men and women that I like, it might help us find our \"true love\"!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 381 + }, + { + "question": "16-year-old girl, recently suspects that there may be a problem with her sexual orientation.", + "description": "I used to realize that I enjoy taking care of the girls who I consider to be closest to me, but I also have a preference for boys, you could say it's a crush. Although I'm still young and marriage is not a concern for me yet, I don't plan on getting married in the future, but I don't know if that will change later. It could also be because I haven't had the experience of being in a romantic relationship. I have very few male friends among my circle, and I have more contact with girls.", + "keywords": "\"Love, sexual orientation\"", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "First of all, I would like to give the original poster a hug. From the description, it can be understood that the original poster enjoys taking care of close female friends, but has feelings for a boy and is uncertain about their own orientation. \u3010A little analysis ~\u3011 1. Enjoying taking care of close friends is simply because of one's gentleness, and it has nothing to do with one's orientation towards boys or girls. Orientation refers to the sexual longing and impulse towards a specific individual of a certain gender. The original poster's care for their friends is purely out of friendship and concern, stemming from their own sensitivity. 2. The original poster is still in their youth, a time when sexual awareness begins to awaken and curiosity towards the opposite sex arises. However, in their daily life, they mainly interact with friends of the same sex. Additionally, at this stage, there may be some misunderstandings with parents. That's why the closeness with friends may sometimes go beyond imagination and emotional bonds may be formed, but these feelings cannot be taken as a reflection of the original poster's orientation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19044 + }, + { + "question": "Should we continue with a man who hits himself when arguing? Does he have a tendency towards violence?", + "description": "We are in a long-distance relationship. Recently, I found that my boyfriend is somewhat addicted to gaming and seems less attentive towards me, which has made me quite angry. We haven't talked properly for two days. Today, I took the initiative to chat with him and communicate. We chatted for a while (of course, my attitude wasn't very good, hoping that he would console me). However, he felt that I was being unreasonable and asked me what exactly I wanted from him, and requested some personal space. I agreed and told him he can have all the freedom he wants from now on. Suddenly, he started slapping himself over the phone and asked me what exactly I wanted from him. I was frightened by his sudden behavior and don't know if I should continue to be with him. Does he have any violent tendencies?", + "keywords": "Behavior, violence, anxiety.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, I have also encountered several individuals with the same behavior as your boyfriend. In their case, it is relatively easy to observe consistency in their behavior. They tend to be emotionally impulsive and have poor emotional regulation. When faced with situations, they are prone to adopting more \"extreme\" behaviors to express themselves, although this does not necessarily mean that they have a tendency towards violence. So how should we approach this issue? [Difference between violent tendencies and emotional impulsivity] People with violent tendencies have many similarities with those who are emotionally impulsive in terms of their external behavior. For example, they both appear to be in a state of losing control and their behavior is prone to being uncontrollable. They often resort to unconventional ways of expression. In the case of your boyfriend, he felt self-reproach when he sensed your blame, which led to his self-slapping behavior. However, the fundamental difference between the two lies in whether they possess empathy. Empathy refers to the ability to empathize with others, to put oneself in their shoes and feel and think from their perspective. People with violent tendencies tend to lack empathy. They often appear indifferent in life, with a dismissive attitude towards life. For example, the \"cat abuse\" phenomenon that previously appeared online is a demonstration of the lack of empathy. On the other hand, individuals with impulsive personalities may experience emotional outbursts but they usually do not engage in harming others. Physiologically, these individuals have a brain that is more prone to excitement, and their rational brain functions are easily suppressed, which is why they easily fall into emotional outbursts. But this is just one of their behavioral patterns. Therefore, we cannot determine whether he has a violent tendency solely based on this incident but rather observe if he also displays a lack of empathy in other aspects of his life. [Expressive overreactions may originate from the influence of the family of origin] Although the functionality of the emotional brain to a large extent is innate, some individuals may be naturally prone to emotional excitability. However, through learning and development, they can still learn to manage their emotions well and gradually learn to express their emotions in a reasonable way. In your situation with your boyfriend, he experienced a lot of self-reproach and guilt when faced with your blame, and perhaps he was worried that you would break up with him. As a result, he resorted to exaggerated ways of expressing his emotions. If he had learned how to express guilt and self-reproach in the past, or how to properly reconcile, I believe he would have been able to express himself better instead of resorting to such excessive behaviors. Of course, this pattern may also stem from the influence of his family of origin. During his upbringing, he may have been exposed to similar behaviors from his parents or other family members. [Learning to get along better in mutual growth] In your question, you also mentioned that you are afraid of his way of expressing himself. I'm curious about your emotional connection with him. If you have a deep emotional bond, then mutual growth is essential, otherwise, this repeated behavior will inevitably affect your relationship. I suggest you have an open and honest conversation with him, expressing your internal feelings about this incident, sharing your fears and concerns, and sincerely telling him that you want to change and grow together. Help him learn positive communication and proper expression of emotions. I recommend a book called \"Nonviolent Communication.\" You can choose to read and learn together. It is a great opportunity for growth. However, if he is unwilling to grow together with you, and you have tried your best to salvage the relationship, then you have to respect his choice and listen to your own inner feelings when making a decision. I hope this response is helpful to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Darling, hug you, I see that you are confused in your intimate relationship. You mentioned that you have been having conflicts with your boyfriend recently. During the argument, he started slapping himself, which made you feel scared. You're unsure whether you should continue to be with him. When you heard about his behavior on the phone, it was only natural that you felt afraid, especially since you're in a long-distance relationship. You don't know how to communicate with him or resolve this face-to-face. All you can do is express your concern and worry over the phone. So, it's understandable that you feel lost. So, what should we do next? First, when talking to your boyfriend about this matter, you can ask him about his feelings, why he acted that way, what his initial thoughts were, whether he had accumulated any grievances recently, or if he's facing any difficulties. Express your worries and thoughts to him, let him understand the significance of this issue to you and how you feel about it. After both of you understand the cause, process, and outcome of the matter, it may be easier to understand each other. If both of you decide to continue, you can have a discussion with your boyfriend on how to adjust together. If he remains calm and discusses thoughts and behaviors that are unacceptable to you, consider taking a break. I hope this can help you. The world and I love you~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Your boyfriend suddenly slapped himself, a behavior of self-attack and self-harm. Whether he has violent tendencies cannot be determined based on this one incident alone, but what can be seen is that he may be experiencing some psychological pressure and is in a negative emotional state. He suddenly exploded after being accused by you, using self-inflicted slaps as a way to release his emotions. Recently, he has been somewhat addicted to playing games and ignoring you. This behavior only just occurred, it didn't happen before, right? Have you asked him if anything is wrong or tried to understand his recent situation? Many people become addicted to games not only because they find them enjoyable and captivating, but also because they are seeking escapism, satisfaction, and emotional release within the game. Often, when we encounter stress, our emotions are more likely to become negative and we are more prone to losing control of our emotions and exploding when triggered by external stimuli. Perhaps your boyfriend is facing difficulties or experiencing pressure and anxiety recently, which is why he suddenly became obsessed with games and paid less attention to you. His negative emotions have not been resolved properly and have been building up inside him, exploding when triggered. And your argument triggered his outburst. He didn't know how to respond to your demands over the phone, so he could only use self-inflicted slaps to express his attitude towards you. Perhaps he was venting his negative emotions, or maybe he was using this method to express his feelings and try to win you back. Whether this behavior indicates a propensity for violence requires further observation over time. Has it happened before? Will it continue to happen in the future? Is it a repetitive behavior? Apart from self-harm, does he also attack others, harm animals, or damage property? Being in a long-distance relationship, with limited opportunities to be together, you can only rely on phone calls and the internet to maintain your connection, which may result in a lack of sensitivity and timely awareness of each other's life changes. Maybe you can start by understanding and caring about your boyfriend's current living and working conditions, and whether he is facing any difficulties. Try to empathize from his perspective and understand the reasons behind his addiction to games and his inner needs. Also, let him know how you feel and what you think about his self-inflicted slapping behavior, and express your expectations for him to control this aggressive behavior. Love is a mutual affair where both parties are independent and equal, with the freedom to exercise their rights. Therefore, mutual understanding, acceptance, attention, and care are necessary for a long-lasting relationship. If one party continues to give while fulfilling the other person's demands, without making an effort to understand them or exerting too much control and depriving them of free time and space, they will eventually feel exhausted, oppressed, and overwhelmed. Show your boyfriend more understanding and care to maintain the relationship. However, if he continues to display this aggressive behavior and is unable to change, causing you worry, fear, and an inability to accept his actions, then it may be time to consider ending this relationship. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I think other answers would benefit you, and I want to look at your problem from a different perspective. #We are in a long-distance relationship, and recently I noticed that my boyfriend is a little too obsessed with games and doesn't pay much attention to me. I got a little angry, and we haven't really talked for two days. #Being in a long-distance relationship means that you have to communicate through language, but language itself can easily cause \"misunderstandings.\" The root cause of this issue is your different basic needs. Your need is for him to pay attention to you whenever you need, regardless of what he is doing; his need may be just wanting to finish the game and relax, unable to respond to you immediately. He wants to respond to you after the game ends, but you don't give him that time? #Today, I took the initiative to have a voice chat with him to communicate. We talked for a while (of course, my attitude wasn't very good; I hoped he would comfort me), but he felt that I was being unreasonable. #Your need is for him to comfort you, but if you don't directly express your needs, how can he guess what they are? In a romantic relationship, the woman assumes that her boyfriend knows what she wants. But this kind of understanding is developed through constant adaptation in life, not an immediate skill activated after becoming a \"boyfriend.\" Your need is for him to comfort you, but with your bad attitude, how can the other person understand your current behavior? He can't read your mind, so naturally, he will think you are \"being unreasonable,\" right? For example, when you come home without greeting your parents, they get angry at you and give you a cold shoulder for the whole day. Do you think that's being unreasonable? Only when you ask in the evening do you find out the reason is that you didn't say hello in the morning. How can your parents guess if they don't say anything? #He asked me exactly what he should do, and I said he could have his own free time. Then he suddenly started beating himself up on the phone and asked me what he should do. #He can't guess your needs, so he wants to negotiate with you and have some \"free time\" to play games. Is it reasonable to ask for that? But how did you respond? You directly said you wanted to \"break up\"? With your \"extreme\" behavior, how can he respond to you? He can only respond with an even more extreme behavior of \"hitting himself\" to suppress your \"extreme\" behavior. Otherwise, what else can he do, just really break up with you? #I was scared by his sudden behavior and don't know if I should continue to be with him? Does he have a tendency towards violence? #I don't know if you have calmed down now or if you have recovered from the shock. From your words, it seems that you only briefly described your actions when you had a conflict with your boyfriend. There is almost no reflection on your own \"extreme behavior.\" His \"extreme\" behavior was triggered by your needs that he didn't know how to fulfill, and you stimulated him with your \"extreme\" behavior. When summarizing the event in the end, instead of reflecting on whether your behavior is problematic, you are considering whether to continue being with him! Does that mean you have just let your \"extreme\" behavior go? And without consulting a professional, you immediately suspect that he has a tendency towards violence. Have you ever thought about the impact of such an easy \"labeling\" on him if he knows that you think so? So, next time you change boyfriends, will you still stimulate their \"nerves\"? If they don't know how to respond, they will likely choose to respond with \"extreme behavior.\" Of course, his behavior is indeed not good. But I think he genuinely doesn't know how to respond to you, so he quickly searches for a response method in his brain and finds this \"method,\" which is influenced by his upbringing. If you need to communicate, you can leave a message or send a private message.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Hearing your description, I can imagine that you are currently in a state of worry and feeling lost about the future. Let's have a chat, maybe after you have a more accurate understanding of this issue, you will be able to solve it in the right way. Whether or not he has a tendency towards violence is hard to judge based on this one instance of behavior. If he tends to use violence to resolve conflicts and problems every time, then it can be said that he has a tendency towards violence. Let's try to understand why he behaves this way! Everyone has emotions, both positive and negative, and each person has a different way of handling their emotions. Negative emotions arise when one experiences stress, rejection, and other negative self-perceptions. This indicates that he has recently encountered some problems that he cannot solve on his own, and he doesn't know how to relieve the negative emotions building up inside him, leading to a great deal of distress. His choice to play games is also a way to escape from this pain. At this point, you also responded to him with a negative attitude, which he couldn't bear with the added negative energy in his heart, and thus, he exploded, losing control of his emotions and doing things that harmed himself. This can also be understood as how many people tend to do wrong things when their emotions spiral out of control. Through this experience, you are worried about your relationship with him, right? In a relationship, two people need to communicate, but the way of communication must be suitable and effective. It's not about blaming him for what is wrong and telling him how to act, that's just looking at the problem from your own perspective. Communication needs to go both ways, just like playing ping pong, can you understand that? Communication generally requires a positive attitude, the ability to speak well, and sometimes arguing can also be a form of communication, but as you experienced, arguing is an ineffective way of communication. So you need to have a proper conversation with him. How to have a proper conversation? Put yourself in his shoes, ask about his recent well-being, what bothers him, give him an opportunity to talk to you, this is a chance to understand him. Then, you can express your care for him, your perspective on the problem, and your feelings about his previous actions, all of these can be said. If he can feel your care and understanding, he will also consider your feelings and apologize for his previous actions, perhaps he will change his previous wrongdoings. Lastly, I would like to mention that different genders have different ways of handling problems. When faced with problems, women hope to be comforted emotionally and seek care from their partners. On the other hand, men tend to close themselves off and solve problems on their own, only after they have resolved them will they spend time with their partners. It can also be said that women need nurturing, while men need understanding. The above are some of my personal thoughts, hoping they can help you. The world and I love you, looking forward to your life returning to happiness.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the intuitive feeling has already told you that this man has a tendency towards violence and there is a potential risk. If this incident had happened face-to-face, he might not have just hit himself. Because he becomes aggressive when his emotions are unstable, you feel fearful. However, there may be many factors as to why you didn't break up with him immediately. From your written description, we can see at least the following aspects: (1) This is the first time, maybe he is only occasionally like this, not always; (2) You realize that you have also spoken inappropriately, so you are also responsible for provoking his anger; (3) He is your boyfriend, and you have feelings for him. There may be other considerations, but based on the information I can currently obtain, the main subconscious factors that can be analyzed are the above three items. So based on these three items, I have some small suggestions for your reference: (1) It may indeed be an accidental event. You can observe whether he shows impatience when interacting with other people at other times. If you have common friends, you can ask his close friend about this person's consistent behavior patterns. (2) If you want to change your way of speaking, this is a great opportunity. Based on your boyfriend's feedback, change the tone of your speech, which will also lay a good foundation for your future interpersonal relationships. (3) Long-distance relationships are already not easy, and it becomes even easier to separate if you also indulge your emotions. In summary, if you can't bear to leave him, just observe for a while longer. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4871 + }, + { + "question": "Lately, I have been constantly having thoughts of wanting to resign from my job and commit suicide. I feel more and more confused.", + "description": "Recently, I have been feeling more and more confused. I wake up from my nap every day feeling restless. I am 20 years old this year and did not attend high school. I wanted to take the entrance exam for high school after middle school, but my grades were too poor. My family did not agree with me going to high school and sent me to vocational school instead. I have always been against going to vocational school, but I had no choice and ended up attending. I chose to study aviation for three years in a secondary technical school, but then I stopped because at that time my family had moved to Guangzhou. After finishing my secondary education, they wanted to move back to Guangxi. If I wanted to pursue a higher education degree, I would have had to stay in Guangzhou by myself to attend a junior college. I didn't want to stay in Guangzhou alone to attend junior college, so I went back to Guangxi with my family. I planned on finding a college to continue my studies once I returned to Guangxi. It was summer vacation right after graduating from secondary school, and I was 18 years old that year. I was bored at home during the summer vacation, so I suggested to my parents that I wanted to learn piano. Piano lessons are expensive, costing 2400 yuan for 24 lessons.", + "keywords": "Growing up, managing stress, work, and learning.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "From your description, I can see that your inner state may be perplexed, helpless, frustrated, lost, and even desperate.\ufe0f **Let's start by summarizing your relevant situation: \u25b2 You are 20 years old and recently have been feeling increasingly confused and uneasy. \u25b2 You studied at a vocational high school for three years, which you didn't enjoy, and originally intended to continue studying at a junior college. \u25b2 You didn't want to stay alone in Guangzhou, so you returned to Guangxi with your family.** From the current perspective, feeling anxious after waking up from a nap every day is a manifestation of psychological anxiety. It is indeed a bit awkward to have a vocational diploma, not too high or too low, and it is not easy to find a better job. In addition, the current pandemic has had a significant impact on the global economy. Perhaps the vocational high school you attended is not what you wanted, but there are still many ways to improve, such as continuing to apply to colleges and universities. However, this requires you to be determined. Being 20 years old is still young, and many people start university at your age. The key is to have self-respect, work hard, and don't worry about what others think. In today's society, no matter what you do or study, it requires some effort, even significant effort, but you can also do it within your capability. However, you must figure out a crucial question: What do you want? **In terms of career development, this age range is suitable for considering career planning. You can do it in the following way: @@ What kind of career do you like? The premise is not being afraid of hard work because life is not easy for anyone.@@ Use a competence balance wheel to assess your potential and abilities in various aspects and see how you can improve them.@@ Divide your improvement plan into several stages and determine the content and goals for each stage...\u03b5 Wishing you the best. I am here, and the world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "It seems that the main character's wishes have always been unable to come true, always being interfered by external factors. For example, the main character wanted to study at a vocational college in Guangzhou, but the parents insisted on returning to their hometown in Guangxi, so the main character had to go back as well. Another example is that the main character wanted to learn how to play the piano and play their favorite pop songs, but the teacher wanted them to teach other students, which prevents the main character from focusing on their own learning. From the narrative, it appears that the main character hasn't achieved something that brings them a sense of fulfillment. This may be the reason why they feel low and have thoughts of suicide. Understanding this, the main character can persist in pursuing their own desires and accomplish something that brings them a sense of achievement, such as learning to play a popular song. This can enhance their self-confidence, have a more positive self-perception, and improve their self-evaluation. Once we achieve this, we should often recall the instances where we succeeded through our efforts. We should also be good at recognizing our own strengths, affirming ourselves, and thereby inspiring our own self-confidence. The main character mentioned feeling a lot of pressure every time they practice the basics or a few notes, because they are afraid of being scolded by their parents and of getting caught. Slowly, they have become less willing to practice the piano and their own assignments, and they feel very anxious, extremely anxious. In this environment, the other students are all progressing faster than me, learning more notes. Some have been learning for four or five years, while I have only been learning for less than a month. It is understandable to feel afraid of being exposed when other students are more skilled. Actually, regarding this matter, you can talk to your teacher and tell them how you feel, see how they respond. Additionally, in the face of anxiety, you should do some preparation and thinking in advance. For example, list some scenarios where you may feel anxious, practice and rehearse the whole process before meetings, events, or speeches. Imagine where you are most afraid and anxious. How will you resolve and care for yourself? Consider what the worst possible outcome might be and how you would handle it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there. In order to change your current situation, you need to develop a specific skill set. Becoming a piano teacher halfway through your own piano lessons may not be the best approach. It's important to excel in what you do, and this requires thorough preparation. Here are some practical suggestions: If you haven't completed your 24 piano lessons, can you continue learning? You don't have to become a piano teacher, but you can consider picking up piano again and learning more. Here, you have two options. You can quit your job and focus on learning piano, or you can continue teaching while learning on the side. There are many tutorials available online, some of which are free. Practice diligently and build your confidence. If you currently don't want to be a piano teacher because you lack competence, then focus on self-learning and practice more privately. You must be willing to work hard, and you will improve over time. Alternatively, you can complete your studies. Being 20 years old is not considered old, and many people start over at 30. If you finish graduate school at the age of 25, having graduated from college at your twenties, it won't be difficult to find a job if you truly possess the necessary skills. Another option is to learn a new skill online. I have enrolled in a design course as a side gig, but other classmates intend to use it for job hunting. These courses don't require any prior knowledge and are suitable for beginners. If you don't want to pay, you can find free tutorials on websites like bilibili or others. Alternatively, you can try finding a job in Hangzhou. This city is filled with warmth. In the highly publicized case of Gou Jing in July, she didn't have an education, but thanks to her hard work and abilities, she is doing fairly well in Hangzhou. All of these possibilities rely on your hard work and dedication to acquiring the necessary skills. You need to put in the effort and believe in yourself. Remember: the worst times are often the best starting points. When we hit rock bottom, it is often the perfect time for a turning point. Never give up on yourself or lose hope. Keep going! Hopefully, this can help you solve your confusion. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello. Along the way, first of all, your piano teacher is a bit irresponsible towards young students, or maybe this teacher has a desire to expand their livelihood. My child is also learning piano. Children have limited ability to learn, so your teacher thinks that children are easy to fool. It is understandable that your ability is enough to teach children. However, it has caused you a lot of mental pressure. But everything has already passed. Right now, you just need to be able to calm down.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "I have forgotten everything, including math and English. I used to have unrealistic ideas of participating in art examinations, but after doing some research, I found out that our local music colleges do not accept previous graduates. Additionally, if I want to take the art examination, I would have to relearn the knowledge needed for the college entrance examination. However, I have even forgotten the knowledge from elementary school. It would take at least three to five years to pick up all of this again. I have talked to my family about this, and they said that if I want to continue studying, I should do it as soon as possible, or else I might not have the opportunity in the future. If I want to study, I would have to resign from my current job as a piano teacher and go back to school. But what would I study? I can only go to a junior college since I only have a vocational school diploma. After graduating from junior college in three years, it may be difficult to find a job, and it may not be as good as being a piano teacher now. I want to go to university, I want to take the art examination, but it requires a lot of money, and it also takes a lot of time to regain the knowledge. If I continue to be a teacher, I won't go far. I am really confused.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12611 + }, + { + "question": "The parents often scold me and beat me. It seems like I am a punching bag?", + "description": "My parents often scold and beat me, and I don't know what to do. They just yell at me for no reason, and it feels like I'm their punching bag. They even forbid me from studying and joke about my future. I can't take it anymore, I really cannot live like this.", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Title, hello! I feel very sorry when I see your question, and I want to do my best to help you get out of the mindset of not wanting to live. First of all, I admit that the family is not only a channel for love and warmth, but often also a channel for hatred and harm. But most parents are typical Chinese parents, who rarely give their children praise and compliments. Your parents and mine are among them. Many, like you, choose to commit suicide because they are beaten and scolded by their parents. But your world, which originally belonged to you, has been let go like this. Have you given up without experiencing the beauty of the world? I don't know if your parents are doing it for your own good or if their thinking is narrow-minded. I also don't know how old you are. If you have the opportunity, please study hard and make something of yourself. If your parents try to stop you, seek help from outside teachers or other sources. Only by working hard will you have the capital to leave them behind and not be influenced by them anymore. Accept the new, good, happy, vibrant, and free air and atmosphere. You will gradually get better and your thoughts will naturally change. They have lived more than half of their lives and it is impossible to change or persuade them. Teaching children in this way shows that they have not figured out life themselves. Don't try to change them or reason with them. Work hard and abandon the influence they have brought to you. Learn new, good, positive, and happy emotions and attitudes towards life. You will have a wonderful life! Because you are young, everything is just beginning! I wish you all the best! Of course, if your parents are doing it for your own good, it's a different matter. In any case, I hope you live well. When I was 30, I also thought about suicide when I was in my teens, but what made me continue was the belief that if you are alive, you should have your own identity and not deny yourself because of other people's opinions. Strive to be the best version of yourself, and everything will come to you naturally. At the age of 30, I am still struggling, so I cannot allow you to commit suicide. Let's work together to find our own place in the world.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11329 + }, + { + "question": "The previously happiest thing is now not happy at all, even painful.", + "description": "I always wanted to become an artist since I was young, but my parents forced me to pursue a business degree for my undergraduate studies. However, I decided to minor in psychology, which I am passionate about (even though my parents don't approve and want me to study finance). I also took several courses in literature, which I enjoyed. Now, my parents have finally agreed to let me study art for my graduate studies. Currently, I am preparing my portfolio, but I have realized that my foundational skills are really lacking. Furthermore, I am not happy when I paint anymore. Apart from the immense pressure and high expectations from my parents and myself, I simply no longer find joy in it. I feel miserable and don't want to paint at all. Comparing this to when I was studying psychology and literature in school, although I did experience some stress, I was able to continue and feel happy, especially with literature. Now, painting has pushed me to the point of depression. I never expected that I would one day dislike painting. I am on the verge of breaking down, and my parents are extremely disappointed in me.", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Giving you a big hug. I have always wanted to be an artist since I was young, but my parents forced me to study business for my undergraduate degree. I can understand that parents want you to earn more money, but when you try to draw, you don't experience the same happiness that you used to feel in your mind. You have a minor in psychology, which you love, but your parents don't approve and want you to study finance. However, you still chose several courses in literature from different countries that you love. When you actually start doing what a painter needs to do, the first thing you discovered is that your foundation is really poor. The second thing you discovered is that drawing does not really make you happy, it even feels painful. Now, drawing has already driven you to depression. You never thought that one day you might have the possibility of hating drawing. You are on the verge of breakdown, and your parents are extremely disappointed in you. I can truly understand your current feelings. Personal advice: 1. Extend the time, lower your expectations, and draw a little every day. Don't set your goals too high, but make sure to draw every day. Learning has a critical balance point. The task should be slightly challenging but not exceed your limits, otherwise you will experience a lot of emotions and negative feelings, which will make it impossible for you to continue. 2. Cut your losses in time and try to do more things. For example, continue studying literature and psychology, find something that truly brings you happiness and joy, and do it well. 3. Understand yourself. You need to understand that your depression may come from the dissonance between your consciousness and your subconscious. Your consciousness tells you that you want to become an artist, but your subconscious tells you that it's not meaningful and too painful. There is a book called \"The Rider and the Elephant\". The rider represents our consciousness, which tells us what is good and what we should do. It is mainly controlled by our sense of morality and rationality. The elephant is like our subconscious, which is influenced by emotions and feelings. The elephant's strength far exceeds that of the rider. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is to perceive and love your elephant, don't disregard the discomfort and unhappiness it experiences, feel it, love it, and understand it. Only then will it lead you to where you want to go. Life is not as beautiful as you think, but how bad can it really be? Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15791 + }, + { + "question": "My boss misunderstands me, what should I do? Should I resign or continue to persist?", + "description": "During work, I have made some requests regarding my job, such as having weekends off and not working overtime on Saturdays. However, my boss wanted to deduct my salary if I didn't work as many shifts. I disagreed and didn't say much about it. Later, I suggested that if my partner in my shift was absent, I should receive their corresponding bonus since I was taking on their workload. The boss didn't agree but instead took on the role of my absent partner that day. Afterward, I wondered if I cared too much about money or if I was too stubborn. Could it be that the boss is still holding a grudge against me? This led to the incident where my share of the holiday benefits was thrown onto the table directly. At that moment, I felt quite embarrassed. Later, I realized that I might have cared too much about the money during that incident, making the boss think that I only cared about money and wasn't as good as she imagined. So now I'm wondering if I should quit or continue to persist.", + "keywords": "Profession, workplace interpersonal relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, have you ever thought, when you make these demands, are you yourself so outstanding that you can confidently make such demands? When a company hires employees, they usually have certain requirements, and in normal circumstances, unless it's a relatively relaxed job, the rest requirements are usually a few days off per month. I believe that regarding rest and vacation, the company should have already explained it to you when they hired you. However, after joining the company, you still demand these things, like weekends off and no overtime on Saturdays. In the situation where you make these demands, do you think they are reasonable? There are some reasonable and some unreasonable requests. Having weekends off is a holiday that should be regulated by the company, and it is reasonable to not have overtime on Saturdays. But if you don't want to do so much work but still want to earn so much money, that's an impossible dream. Does your excellence match the demands you are making? If you have enough excellence and confidence, then you can make demands to your boss because you are a talent, and the boss will compromise. However, the fact proves that you are not that outstanding, and in the eyes of the boss, you have already left a bad impression. The boss is the one who pays your salary, and if you make some reasonable demands, I believe the boss will not have so much dissatisfaction. Moreover, when you asked for a partner to share the workload, and the boss agreed, it shows that the boss is reasonable. In order to prevent you from having too much workload and for the sake of fairness in the company, the boss also arranged a partner for you. If you have enough capability, I believe the boss will not easily lose face, withhold respect, and directly throw company benefits on your desk.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Every job has its own requirements, and if you can't accept the requirements of this job, then you can choose to find another job that can meet your requirements. Obviously, the demands you made cannot be fully met by the boss, and there may even be some resentment towards you. You also seem to value money, and in the eyes of the boss, you might be someone who values money and has many demands. And your excellence is not enough to match the demands you made, and even in the eyes of your boss, you are a dispensable person because your job can easily be replaced by someone else at any time. If you choose to quit, then find a new job first before resigning. If this job is relatively good in terms of benefits for you, then you should learn to be satisfied. When making demands, think about whether the demands are reasonable, and don't think that they are reasonable just because you think so, when in fact they are unreasonable in the eyes of the boss.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 53, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 53, + "end": 182, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 182, + "end": 313, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 313, + "end": 360, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 360, + "end": 514, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 514, + "end": 563, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 563, + "end": 589, + "type": "Others" + }, + { + "start": 589, + "end": 718, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 718, + "end": 780, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 780, + "end": 805, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 805, + "end": 887, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 8145 + }, + { + "question": "A 34-year-old married woman, who has given birth, recently feels like everything she does is wrong.", + "description": "Since the beginning of the pandemic, my whole family has been together day and night. There have been many ups and downs, and over time, I feel like all the problems are my fault. I often reflect on myself, but I also feel aggrieved. My child is going to start primary school in September, and I quit my job to stay at home with him. I feel like I haven't taken good care of him in terms of habits, manners, knowledge, effective companionship, entertainment, physical health, and skill development. I lose my temper with him easily and can't control my emotions. After venting, I regret it, but the stress and negative emotions I bring to the whole family are overwhelming. Many times I think maybe I need to leave this environment for a while, but I worry that if my child is away from me, he might regress and lose the good habits I've helped him develop. There is not much communication among the members of our family. I live with my parents\u2014my father is the kind of person who likes to use words to belittle others. I have never heard him say a word of encouragement from childhood to adulthood. My mother loves to complain, but out of filial piety, I dare not voice any complaints. Every day, I suffer internally. My husband is not good at expressing himself, and we don't talk much. Of course, he also doesn't involve himself in raising our child. I feel like I am useless. I haven't done well as a daughter, a mother, or a wife.", + "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP, give you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) In the past six months, while spending time with your child, you have felt guilt. (2) Since childhood, you have lived in a negative environment. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: (1) If every family were put together for a competition, it would definitely be a team competition. Keeping your life in order requires more than just one person's effort. It's not that your ability is not strong enough, but it's a process that requires cooperation. Just like in cartoons, only when the whole family gathers their strength, will the door of hope open and light shine in. So you don't need to blame yourself, it's not solely your fault. (2) Accept imperfection and all emotions. It's evident that you have listed a series of things you wanted to do but didn't do well. They may seem trivial to mention, but each one is a significant undertaking. You are an ordinary person, not superhuman, so it's understandable if you haven't reached your ideal standards. Of course, your pursuit of perfection and completeness determines that your standards may be set high. And precisely because you are an ordinary person, it's allowed for you to have emotions. Dealing with those trivial matters can indeed put you in a state of confusion, but you can choose an appropriate way to release your emotions, such as doing some meditation before bedtime. (3) We can't choose our original family, but we can actively make changes. Seeing the environment you grew up in, which was full of negativities, it's no wonder that you have a self-blaming and insecure personality. But actually, you are already doing great, really! What you need to do now is to accept yourself. Although your husband is silent, it doesn't mean he is not a practical person. You can seek his help appropriately, after all, a family needs to be managed together by both husband and wife. Don't be too hard on yourself, you will get better and better, keep it up! #The world and I love you, take care~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14183 + }, + { + "question": "22-year-old female, easily influenced by the environment and unable to focus on her own tasks.", + "description": "I am too easily influenced by the people and environment around me. It makes it difficult for me to focus on my own things. I can't live with others, as soon as I start living or sharing a house with them, my life becomes chaotic and without any structure.", + "keywords": "Emotion, emotional regulation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, you mentioned that you are easily influenced by external factors and your life becomes chaotic once you are with others. In psychology, there is a concept that categorizes people's cognitive styles as field independence and field dependence. These two concepts originate from the perceptual research conducted by American psychologist Herman Witkin. The term \"field\" refers to the environment, and field dependence refers to the degree of a person's independence. Witkin believes that some people are more influenced by the environmental information they see during perception, while others are more influenced by internal clues within their own bodies. He refers to individuals who rely more on the external reference of their surrounding environment to define knowledge and information in the context of environmental stimulation as field dependence. Both of these styles have their pros and cons. I think you can describe yourself as a \"field dependent type\" instead of thinking that there is necessarily something wrong with you. Moving forward, you can create an environment that allows you to live independently, eliminate distractions, and reduce exposure to external stimuli. For example, you can keep your desk clean, wear earplugs, close the doors, or live alone. Allowing yourself to thrive in an environment that suits you can also be very comfortable. Best wishes, Jang Jang.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner has read your question, and I have a small suggestion. You mentioned that you are easily influenced by others, which indicates that you don't have a very firm goal. You need to be determined about your goals or your own affairs, and believe that you can do well. Don't let yourself be swayed by just a few words from others. At the same time, you need to strengthen your composure in doing things and not be influenced by others. You also need to adapt to your environment and try to gradually accept others. It may not be possible for you to suddenly accept it, so take it slowly. Let the people around you gradually become a part of your life, and you can also appropriately change your previous lifestyle. Perhaps there will be a different world waiting for you. Keep up the good work, gradually adapt, and things will get better.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Yes, some people are easily influenced by the external environment, and I am also one of them. I need to be in an absolutely quiet and undisturbed situation to focus on my own things. That's why I choose to live alone or tell others not to disturb me when I need to be alone. Take care of yourself and make yourself comfortable. Similarly, you always have the power to choose, no matter when or where.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19186 + }, + { + "question": "Parents always think that when I use my phone for studying, I am just playing with it. If I argue back, they think I'm being disrespectful.", + "description": "Parents are disturbing me from studying, saying that I can't study if I play on my phone. If you don't let me use my phone, how am I supposed to study? I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, right?", + "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parent communication", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "In Chinese-style family relationships, it is difficult for children to communicate with their elders on an equal footing. Coupled with the generation gap caused by age and era, it is difficult to understand each other. I have already finished graduate school and am in my mid-twenties. Even during the pandemic, when I study on my phone, my elders still say that I am playing around. But the truth is, when I'm not in class, I do choose to play games or watch dramas. This can give the impression that I'm always on my phone, and it's not worth explaining. It would be better to talk about what I learned in class today, so that they can have a better understanding of my situation.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17141 + }, + { + "question": "25-year-old woman, why would she have an inexplicable aversion to the term \"aunt\"?", + "description": "At this rational age, it is normal to be called \"auntie\" by some children. But when they call me that, I feel a little unhappy, as if they are calling me old. How can I adjust my mindset and accept my age?", + "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP, hugs to you. Believe me, many people have experienced the same thing as you mentioned. In our daily lives, we may be called \"auntie\" by some children. Because we are indeed at that age, and many people of our age have already married and had children, so it is quite normal. I believe OP is probably still unmarried, and perhaps your parents take care of you and show more love at home. In their eyes, you will always be a child who never grows up. In your subconscious mind, you always feel that you are still young, especially for recent graduates, this feeling of still being a child will become more and more serious, which is why you have such thoughts. Compared to those who entered society early, they may already be accustomed to such things. Actually, you can adjust your mindset and tell yourself that \"auntie\" is not an old title, but a more respectful address for you. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17009 + }, + { + "question": "Achievement can maintain or increase happiness? Can happiness summarize life?", + "description": "As mentioned. Is a sense of achievement in maintaining happiness or accumulating happiness? Can happiness encompass all aspects of life?", + "keywords": "Growing up, the meaning of life.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP: Well, happiness is the lifelong pursuit of everyone. Perhaps in this process, each of us pursues different specific things, but the goal is to obtain happiness. Whether maintaining happiness or accumulating happiness, the difference lies in whether this sense of achievement is a genuine pursuit from our hearts. Some people feel that they have obtained happiness by possessing wealth, so they pursue \"money\"; some people feel that they have obtained happiness by possessing power, so they pursue \"power\"; some people feel that they have obtained happiness by being loved, so they pursue \"being loved\". All these things are aspects of a sense of achievement. We like the aspect that we pursue, and that aspect is the sense of achievement we seek. OP asked whether the sense of achievement is in maintaining happiness or in accumulating happiness. In fact, this depends on how each of us defines the sense of achievement and what meaning this thing we pursue has for us. We desperately pursue money. When our wealth reaches a certain level, we also have a sense of achievement. If we deeply appreciate our own behavior and means of pursuing money and derive genuine happiness from it, then each of our sense of achievements can bring us joy, and in that case, we are accumulating happiness; if the way and means we pursue money goes against our hearts and we feel compelled to do it, then each of our sense of achievements will bring us fatigue. At this point, we are maintaining happiness. We pursue love, we pursue being loved. Whenever someone likes us or pursues us, we feel a sense of achievement. If we love the person who loves us, then this sense of achievement can bring us genuine happiness, and thus we are accumulating happiness; if we do not like the person who loves us, then this so-called sense of achievement will make us weary. At this point, we are maintaining happiness. So, the same thing will bring us different experiences of happiness depending on our true intentions. Happiness is not everything in life. Having or not having money is a matter of comparison, and so is love and not love. Likewise, happiness and unhappiness are also a matter of comparison. The same thing will bring different feelings to different people. A million dollars that falls from the sky would bring great joy to an ordinary person, but to a rich person, it would be tasteless. Happiness is a subjective feeling. We can better cherish happiness only when we have experienced unhappiness and adversity. Life is often unsatisfactory. Apart from the experience of happiness, there are also many experiences of unhappiness. These experiences cannot be avoided, but when we look back, these pains will also bring us different experiences and feelings, and even push us forward. Happiness needs comparison, and life is not just about happiness. How we view those difficulties and unhappiness is what we need to continuously learn. I hope that the pursuit of each of us comes from our true intentions, and I hope that we can learn to embrace and accept those unhappy days while enjoying happiness. Good luck.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "A sense of achievement is in maintaining happiness or accumulating happiness. Whether happiness can summarize the entire content of life, a sense of achievement can be the completion of certain goals set by individuals. If the goals are achieved successfully, a sense of achievement may be completed. This may be a part of happiness for some people. Maintaining or accumulating happiness is a certain state that can be viewed from various perspectives. Maintaining happiness means grasping the current level of happiness, while accumulating happiness assumes that the current level of happiness has not yet reached its peak. This happiness itself has a corresponding formula for measurement, but in reality, it is relatively abstract to operate. The composition of happiness is diverse and can be maintained or accumulated. A sense of achievement is also associated with the things we possess. We happen to possess what we want and can maintain a state of contentment. This sense of achievement may be considerable. We can understand that mentally healthy people actually live very happily. If happiness is the achievement of success, this can be a perspective to consider because they seem to complement each other. When people's inner selves are full of happiness, naturally they can fully tap their potential and control their own emotions, thus achieving more feelings of achievement. Our willpower can also be well demonstrated, such as maintaining a well-regulated daily routine. This kind of health is also a true happiness. However, many times, the sense of achievement is greatly diminished because some people demand too much and try to fill their houses but fail to fill their hearts. This is a kind of inner scarcity and emptiness. A sense of achievement may be a part of happiness. The environment is an important influencing factor, and individual mentality also serves as an important indicator of happiness. Many people are becoming increasingly unhappy, with more and more negative emotions being suppressed. If there is less anger and complaints in one's heart, there will be more optimism and health. People will be more forgiving and grateful. The positive emotions will naturally be higher and it will be easier for people to adapt to society and feel that they have a good and happy life. When making decisions or pursuing certain goals in the future, look at whether one can reach these goals and whether one truly feels that this achievement is necessary. We need to ask ourselves, \"What is our conscience and morality saying?\" Will this trouble me or others? This will help people make wiser decisions, become responsible for themselves, and adapt to this ever-changing era. Good luck! ZQ.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ From the perspective of applied psychology, discussing \"happiness\" is more about helping to improve people's daily lives. Based on Martin Seligman's \"The Five Elements of Wellbeing\" and his advocacy of the five major elements that constitute happiness, let's see how to enhance happiness. The five elements that Seligman refers to as constituting happiness are positive emotions, engagement, good relationships, meaning and purpose, and positive accomplishments. The so-called positive accomplishments are not just achievements, but the pursuit of achievements for the sake of achievement itself. In simple terms, it means that writers write for excellent literary works, and painters create for genuine art. Compared to wealth, fame, and social status, which are more like subsequent \"accessories\", they are not what they initially pursue. Seligman proposes a formula to measure accomplishment: owned skills multiplied by effort level. Therefore, positive accomplishments are also accompanied by qualities such as effort and self-discipline. Returning to the question, a sense of accomplishment is a source of happiness, and generally speaking, the greater the sense of accomplishment, the greater the sense of happiness. As for whether to maintain happiness or accumulate happiness, I think both can logically be said to be plausible. I believe that happiness cannot encompass the entirety of life because unhappiness is also a part of life and should be objectively viewed. Best wishes~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hehe, if humans can be summarized with one viewpoint and one word, do you think it is a blessing or a disaster for humans? \"Is the sense of achievement in maintaining happiness or accumulating happiness? Can happiness encompass the whole content of life?\" I personally think it varies for different people, and it also varies for individuals in different stages of life and age groups. This mainly depends on the individual's understanding and the meaning they ascribe to it. The significance of a sense of achievement lies in the feeling of self-worth. The degree of achievement is directly proportional to the level of effort required for something. I personally think that a sense of happiness can be found everywhere; it depends on our own expectations and sensitivity. May each of us have a sense of achievement one or two times and often feel happy!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "We received an education that promotes ideals, but we live in an era that is focused on reality, constantly struggling between ideals and material desires. Deep down, we are actually quite traditional, but the education we received in school and the social circumstances we face after graduation have created some disconnection, leading to disillusionment and the collapse of our value system. As a result, doubt and reflection fill the essence of our generation. We advocate for authenticity and yearn for sincerity. We don't believe in self-proclaimed authorities, although we often fall into that trap ourselves. Being able to uphold our own ideals is more important than whether they can be realized. Therefore, happiness cannot encompass everything. Best wishes to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11085 + }, + { + "question": "16-year-old girl, troubled by mental illness, has depression relapsed or never improved?", + "description": "Last November, I was diagnosed with severe depression at the city mental hospital. However, after a few months, my condition improved and I did not go for a follow-up. In addition, my parents also think that I was just being naughty. Lately, I have been under a lot of stress and feel like I'm going to break down. I have severe somatic symptoms, especially headaches and muscle pain. I have some suicidal tendencies, although not severe. Is it a relapse of depression or has it never gotten better? Could it be something other than depression? I have taken fluoxetine and lorazepam. Thank you for your response.", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, trauma treatment", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Popularly speaking, depression is the excessive suppression of negative emotions, leading to a series of physical reactions. People with depression have decreased levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine. However, it is not clear who influences whom between depression and neurotransmitters. Generally, antidepressant medications act as serotonin reuptake inhibitors, ensuring a sufficient concentration of serotonin in the brain, so that one's emotions do not become too low. Physiologically, the medication regulates the concentration of neurotransmitters to influence a person's emotions and reduce somatization symptoms. People with depression usually have a low sense of self-worth and excessively suppress negative emotions, making it difficult for them to be their true selves. Medications cannot improve one's sense of self-worth or change how a person handles negative emotions. When you ask if your current emotional state is due to a continuous or recurrent depression, from a physiological perspective, it is a relapse, because the medication adjusts the concentration of neurotransmitters to a normal level and the symptoms disappear, indicating improvement. From a psychological perspective, it has not improved because medications cannot improve your sense of self-worth or change how you handle negative emotions. Therefore, encountering some unpleasant events in the outside world can lead to a rapid accumulation of emotions and the reoccurrence of depressive symptoms, which is why it seems like it has never improved. You asked if there are other problems besides depression, but based on your description, it is difficult to judge, so it is unknown if there are other psychological issues. It is recommended that you exercise more, get sunlight exposure, increase the secretion of serotonin, and learn to sense and express your true emotions in order to reduce emotional accumulation. If you want to learn more about depression, you can visit my profile and read my article \"The Truth About Depression, as Told by a Psychologist.\"", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "After reading your description, I would like to talk about your recent situation. You mentioned feeling extremely stressed and on the verge of breaking down, experiencing physical reactions such as headaches and body aches. I want to point out that severe cold can also cause headaches and body aches, so don't rush to associate these symptoms with depression. First, check if it is due to physical discomfort. You also mentioned having suicidal tendencies, although not intense. This may be somewhat related to depression. From this perspective, it seems that your depressive condition has improved under medication. Therefore, I suggest that you find a counselor who can help you sort out your concerns in a relatively safe environment and provide emotional support. This will help you gradually overcome your difficulties and establish a new lifestyle. I believe you will get better with time.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Last November, I was diagnosed with severe depression at the city mental hospital, but I didn't follow up with a check-up as my condition improved in the following months. Do your parents think you are misbehaving? Before being diagnosed with severe depression in November last year, did something happen that made you feel a lot of pressure? How is your relationship with your parents? How do they usually interact with you? What happened that made you have mild suicidal tendencies? If the Buddha were to make your depression disappear, what would you most want to do?", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 7339 + }, + { + "question": "How can I adjust myself when my good friend betrays me?", + "description": "The company suddenly held a training session, and my good friend and I were selected to attend the training together. We have a good relationship that we built in the workplace, and she is more friendly towards me. She also expressed her intention to train with me. The training content is extensive, and it is stressful and difficult to understand, especially because it is conducted in a foreign language. We are all worried about keeping up. I struggle with training especially, and I have a hard time remembering and staying focused. Training with my good friend helps stabilize my mental state. But, who would have thought that on the first day, she sat next to a girl who had previous experience and had come back for training. My good friend immediately changed her attitude towards her and actively engaged in conversation, asking about her job. Originally, I didn't mind who she talked to more, but now, she unintentionally asks the other girl about everything, even if I ask a question, she immediately turns to ask the other girl to prove that I am wrong (as long as there is a chance to show that she is better than me, she instinctively tries to belittle me to maintain her superiority). I know that she is someone who doesn't like to invest in others and only cares about her own interests. I really don't want to deal with such an ungrateful person! I feel even more stressed now. The training is already difficult, and it's awkward not talking to her when our desks are adjacent. And she frequently talks to that girl.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, deception and trust, colleagues.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "After reading the description provided by the title, I personally feel that the person's behavior is not like betrayal, but rather that the person is very clear about what they want. Just like the title mentioned, the person belongs to the type of person who is willing to endure anything to achieve their goals. Although some of their actions may be off-putting, it must be said that people like this can succeed wherever they go. However, with such people, everyone is more inclined to use each other for their own benefit rather than becoming genuine friends. It seems like good friends unknowingly hurt us with some of their actions, especially if they can find something to criticize us about, they won't let it slide. This also shows that in many aspects, we are more outstanding than the other person. Sometimes, it doesn't matter even if we make a mistake, after all, the purpose of our training is to improve ourselves. If the other person can help us identify our problems, they are seemingly helping us indirectly. Since the title is more introverted and not good at communicating with others, but since we are here for training and learning, sometimes we can try to expand our social circle and be with people who are more outstanding than us. We can quickly recognize our own shortcomings and learn some methods from others. So sometimes we can be more proactive, try to make simple friends with others, and perhaps the title will gain a different life experience. As for this friend, since they act one way in front of us and another way behind our backs, we might as well focus more time and energy on ourselves and think about why we came for training, as well as the areas where we can improve. Sometimes it's enough to just be superficial friends. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, it seems that your main concerns are three points: 1. On the first day of training, your friend sat next to a girl who had previous training experience, your friend actively communicated with her about the business, which made you feel uncomfortable. 2. You mentioned a problem, and you felt that your friend immediately turned to ask that girl to prove that you were wrong, which made you feel like she was unconsciously undermining you. 3. You feel that your friend is the type who doesn't like to give to others and only cares about herself if it benefits her. You don't want to deal with her, but you also feel awkward and under pressure, which puts you in a dilemma. I can tell that you are a sensitive and thoughtful person. Hugs to you~ About issue 1: You said this training is difficult and stressful, is it possible that your friend was also interested in the training itself when she communicated with the girl who had training experience? I don't know what kind of personality your friend has. Do you think she deliberately ignored you, or did she unintentionally make you feel ignored? One possibility is that your friend was only focused on the training and unintentionally ignored you, but you are sensitive and feel like your friend was \"snatched\" away. As for issue 2: Is it difficult to objectively judge whether the other person deliberately undermined you or was just trying to confirm the answer to this problem? Do you have any other specific examples to explain how your friend intentionally undermined you? Regarding issue 3: Could you give specific examples of why you feel that your friend is someone who doesn't like to give to others? It seems that you are currently feeling quite angry, and there may be some angry words involved. I suggest you take some time to express your feelings of being ignored indirectly and see what your friend thinks and says. Perhaps, you are overthinking it.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 17197 + }, + { + "question": "Severe depression + severe anxiety, often times when I speak, others don't understand.", + "description": "Many times when I chat with classmates and friends, they say they can't understand what I'm saying, and also that my thinking jumps too fast. Often, I have already finished speaking and started a new topic, while they are still confused about what the previous topic meant. So I become even more hesitant to communicate with others.", + "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social phobia, roommates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello OP~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, we can understand that when OP is communicating and talking with classmates and friends, they can't keep up with OP's pace, so OP doesn't like to talk to other kids anymore, and feels depressed and anxious about it. \u3010A little analysis and suggestions\u30111. Giving classmates more patience and opportunities may lead to friendship. OP's friends still want to communicate with OP if they listen to what OP says. If there are issues with response speed, OP can try saying things twice or waiting for them during conversations, paying more attention to their feelings, perhaps there will be progress in the relationship. 2. If OP feels depressed and irritable about communicating with others, OP can try expressing themselves through writing, keeping a diary, or writing some thoughts. A diary won't fall behind OP's thoughts, write whatever comes to mind, and it will accept whatever is written. Would that make things better? 3. Whether to communicate with friends or not is ultimately OP's own choice. If not wanting to be with friends, OP can also choose to develop their own interests and hobbies, such as watching movies, reading books, etc., which can also bring a sense of relaxation and enjoyment alongside learning. Hoping it helps OP.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Your title is very attractive, but there are some inconsistencies with the content, right? If your classmates can't understand what you're saying, would it have the same effect as your title and content not matching? You mentioned that your classmates can't understand what you're saying, so do you know what you're trying to express? Try practicing writing more and when you read what you've written again, see if it conveys the meaning you want. After making some improvements, continue to communicate with people, which will gradually help you improve.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18477 + }, + { + "question": "I feel extremely tired whenever I see my textbooks and I want to learn. What should I do?", + "description": "I'm sorry, but I am only programmed to support English text.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, student growth.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Interest is the best teacher. You need to find the fun in this course and not reject it. Set small goals for yourself and gradually learn from easy to difficult. Learning requires perseverance and consistency. Think about the value of this subject for long-term self-motivation, and set long-term plans and goals. Master learning methods, control the pace of learning, balance work and rest, and do not bring a bad state of mind into your studies. Research how long you can sustain high-efficiency learning during effective study time and keep yourself in a state of high-efficiency learning. Don't force yourself to study when your mental or physical state is not good. Once you develop good study habits, you will find yourself addicted and enjoy it. Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and lay a good foundation for learning. Consider consulting a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other doctors to maintain your mental and physical health. Look at positive, optimistic people and things more, and spend time with excellent people around you. Change your learning methods; if you don't like reading, choose related materials such as paper-based or electronic audio and video materials, such as listening to books and operas, and learn in ways that you find easy and interesting. Don't be too impatient. Stick to each small goal and you will achieve the big goal.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 33, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 33, + "end": 56, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 56, + "end": 98, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 98, + "end": 188, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 188, + "end": 220, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 220, + "end": 247, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 247, + "end": 282, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 282, + "end": 310, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 310, + "end": 368, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 368, + "end": 393, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 10296 + }, + { + "question": "What is the outcome for children who are raised by their grandparents when they grow up?", + "description": "Among the visitors I received, more than half of them were raised by their grandparents. Each person has the same trauma and the same reality in their lives. I would like to ask other counselors about the current situation of visitors who were raised by their grandparents.", + "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I don't have any experience with these visitors who are raised by their grandparents, but I do have friends who are in similar situations. From my observations, they are especially afraid of making mistakes and tend to demonstrate maturity beyond their age, which can be a bit unsettling. Of course, there are also many among them who display passive aggression. #The world and I love you, take care~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 8572 + }, + { + "question": "There is a girl who pretended to be a boy to pursue me. After confessing, I am constantly resisting her. What should I do?", + "description": "About eight days ago, when I was watching Chen Qianqian, I said that I wanted a sweet romance or someone to accompany me. Then I met her, her voice was also very neutral, so I always thought she was a boy. But later, she confessed to me that she is a girl. I'm not a lesbian either, but she said she didn't mind and we could give it a try. I didn't say that I disliked it originally, so we dated for another two or three days. But I realized that every time she said things like \"kiss\" or \"hug\", I instinctively resisted in my heart. Does this mean that I am not bisexual? Should I have rejected her earlier?", + "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation, infatuation", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, hugs to you. This question is worth pondering. I hope my answer will be helpful to you. Does this mean that I am really not bisexual? The classifications of sexual orientations are: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual. An individual who is sexually attracted to both males and females is called bisexual. I don't know if you tried to date her after she confided in you, whether you wanted to be in a romantic relationship or just be friends. If you want a sweet romance, but her language after you found out she is a girl has already disgusted you, I think you already have your answer. Shouldn't I have rejected her earlier? From your description, it seems that you are internet friends, communicating online. My suggestion is to reject her as early as possible, just like making friends. If your values don't align and her way of speaking makes you uncomfortable. Making friends is about making yourself happy. If she can't bring you joy, why not reject her sooner? Wishing you the best~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 19153 + }, + { + "question": "My cousin speaks slowly and reacts slower than others, could this be a symptom of depression?", + "description": "In middle school, he was an excellent student in both character and learning. He has an older sister who studies very well and got into a prestigious high school in our city. Now he has a good job, and most of the children in his relatives' families are also outstanding. Being the only male child in the family, his mother spoils him very much and he can say anything and the family will listen. However, later on, he experienced some pressure because he didn't get into the ideal high school when taking the entrance exam. After all, everyone around him had gotten into the top schools in the city. Then, when applying for college, he didn't take it seriously and just randomly chose a major. After getting into school, he found that the chosen major didn't suit him. He couldn't pass the exams and started to hate studying. Eventually, he stopped going to school. His mother arranged a one-year leave of absence for him, but after staying at home for a year, he even less wanted to go back to studying. In the end, he gave up. He didn't graduate from college and, in short, now he has achieved nothing. He stays at home and has been in that state for 2 or 3 years. His father sees him as a disappointment and occasionally even hits him. His mother doesn't care anymore and lets him do as he pleases. During our last chat, I noticed that his speech became slower and his reactions were slower than others. I don't know if he has developed depression. How severe is it? Should he take medication or not?", + "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello. Based on your description, I can tell that you are quite concerned about your younger brother, especially since he has been through many ups and downs and the outcomes have not been satisfactory. You can have a deep conversation with your younger cousin and may discover some clues, as communication among peers can be more in-depth and your cousin may let his guard down. Based on the symptoms you provided, it is not possible to accurately determine whether he has depression. It is best to advise your cousin's family to go to the hospital for a check-up, or you can use a depression self-assessment scale to see if he has depression. The cause of depression is still not very clear, and there are many different treatment methods. Depression is no longer a terrifying mental illness. The combination of medication and psychological treatment has very good results. Many high-level medical institutions can develop different treatment plans based on the patient's condition. This is the progress we have made in the field of fighting depression!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 18938 + }, + { + "question": "Putting the focus and emphasis on cats or significant others, avoiding oneself?", + "description": "I find that my attitude towards cats is similar to what it was towards my ex-boyfriend. When they are not around, I am able to face difficulties on my own. Even if I want to avoid them, I only avoid them for a while before confronting them again. However, when I have them in my life, it's like my emotions find a solace, and the pain of facing difficulties seems to find a place to belong. This makes it harder for me to face things and easier for me to escape, indulging in the feelings that the other person brings. As a result, I have given up on my responsibility towards myself and seek fulfillment from the external world instead of giving it to myself. This feeling has made me feel worthless and lost. After getting a cat this time, the familiar comfort is accompanied by feelings of terror, helplessness, and numbness, which is why I am writing this paragraph today. I hope to overcome this issue and believe that I can. By the way, after finishing writing this paragraph, I feel much clearer. It becomes difficult to solve problems when you are immersed in the pain of escape and comfortable numbness. It feels like I can compare it to the HIV virus because without it, I can identify problems due to the pain, and actively find solutions. But with the virus, I no longer feel the pain, and I even seek solace in it, causing the problem to worsen and myself to deteriorate?", + "keywords": "Growing up, improving one's personality, self-growth, self-acceptance.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, our psyche is very complex. Sometimes two seemingly contradictory characteristics can be manifested in one person. For example, the instincts for life and death, progress and retreat, independence and dependence, and so on, may all appear in the same person, just at different times. We often oscillate between two extremes to achieve a balance. Facing difficulties and seeking emotional refuge may seem contradictory, but they are actually your characteristics. However, you seem unable to accept the aspect of escapism in yourself. You feel that only by being independent and actively solving problems can you be considered normal and acceptable. If we can only accept one aspect of our characteristics and reject the other, it is easy to fall into stubbornness and feel exhausted because you constantly need to suppress the unaccepted side. In fact, I think we can allow ourselves to be self-reliant and solve problems on our own, but also allow ourselves to be lazy, want to escape, and seek emotional refuge from time to time. We can be flexible and don't need to adhere to strict rules. Encourage yourself to face problems actively, but when feeling tired, you can take a temporary respite, escape for a while. Whether it's a boyfriend or a cat, they are both fine. We need a safe and warm harbor, to give our tired souls a temporary rest. During this time, temporarily set aside all problems and temporarily escape from them, it's okay. Don't blame yourself, don't deny yourself. We are not superheroes, we don't need to be invincible all the time. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there, after reading your words, I can sense your confusion and I'm sending you a big hug \ud83e\udd1e\ufe0f. First of all, you mentioned that when you can't rely on something, you are able to face difficulties on your own. Even if you feel like escaping, you do so for a little while and then continue facing them on your own. In fact, this is similar to a psychological condition called \"dependent personality disorder\". It occurs when one lacks independence and tends to overly depend on others, excessively trust them, and let themselves be controlled and manipulated by others, giving up on their own plans and responsibilities. In the beginning, this may feel enjoyable, but with excessive dependence, it becomes easy to lose oneself in this comfort and even lose some of the abilities one originally possessed. When the dependable thing is not there, it's easy to become indecisive and overwhelmed by loneliness, feeling useless and lost. What we need to do is to break free from this situation, rediscover ourselves, and build self-confidence. Second, regain confidence and self-reliance. Excessive dependence often makes people think of seeking help from others as soon as they encounter difficulties. It might be better to try being \"self-reliant\", reducing the dependence on others, learning to solve problems on your own, endure them alone, and constantly improve yourself. Third, make more friends. Excessive dependence may also make people feel uncomfortable. Being overly dependent on a boyfriend, revolving everything around him, doesn't necessarily show love. Perhaps both parties should have their own space. Grow together, become better versions of ourselves in a relationship. Besides a boyfriend, we can also make more friends with whom we can confide our troubles, just like you mentioned. When you wrote down this paragraph, you felt clarity. In fact, throughout this process, you lack expressing your emotions to the outside world. You can vent your feelings by confiding in friends or by writing in a diary, among other methods. Fourth, find things that interest you. When we engage in things we are interested in, we can be more focused and time passes more fulfilling. This way, we won't indulge in random thoughts, and this interest can also bring us confidence and a certain degree of reliance. Regardless of the time, we must learn to be ourselves. No one can accompany us for a lifetime, so we must learn to grow on our own. I hope you can overcome difficulties and find your confident self. I hope my words can be of help to you. Take care!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 14440 + }, + { + "question": "High school students, feeling empty and cynical, is there a psychological problem?", + "description": "Every day I want to strive, but every morning I feel empty and lack motivation. Lying has become a habit. I dislike myself yet I want to show off in front of others. I want to hear others praise me but I don't trust myself. It's difficult to face everyone outside. I have a tendency to be fed up with life.", + "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, the meaning of life.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "First of all, the fact that you can reach out for help at this time shows that you still have the ability to help yourself, which is fortunate for you. You should know that when people are young, even making a single decision can have lifelong consequences! You say you feel empty and helpless, and if I were to advise you to study, you would probably think I'm being preachy. But have you ever wondered why people go to school at your age? Why does our country have a college entrance examination system in high school? Your brain is at its peak development during this age, you are able to learn things quickly and easily. The college entrance examination is the most fair system in our country, it doesn't care about your background or whether you come from a wealthy family, it only looks at your scores and then allows you to apply for the school you desire. When everyone around you is running forward and you are staying still, you are actually falling behind. Each stage of life has its own tasks that need to be done. If you really don't feel like moving forward, you need to consider whether there is a problem with your coping mechanisms. For example, your way of dealing with stress or solving problems may be to stay still or procrastinate. Or, perhaps you really need someone to lend you a hand. If that's the case, go find a classmate or a trusted teacher to talk to, or you can even find a counselor online to accompany you. Just don't continue to make yourself feel miserable and lost while wasting time. In summary, high school is truly a memorable and wonderful time in life, but it is also a time when people are prone to confusion and wandering. Your physical development is nearing adulthood, but your thinking patterns and ideologies are still in the adolescent stage, not yet fully mature and rational. So it is understandable to feel lost at this time. Believe in yourself, take action quickly, get yourself moving and busy. Even if it's making phone calls, playing basketball, cleaning up, or studying textbooks like crazy, after putting in effort, there will be results. Keep persevering. This pattern may be tiring, but it will give you a sense of achievement. And you will find that strong individuals are not without tears, they are all running with tears held back. Trust me, as a psychological counselor who has been doing student career planning for many years, if you compromise now, when you encounter difficulties in the future, you will also adopt this avoiding and compromising pattern. However, once you realize it and want to change, it will be much more difficult. Youth is such an enviable age! I often think, if I could go back to high school, I would study even harder. Hehe! Keep going!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "OP, it could be due to high stress or a lack of motivation. Maybe you can cultivate both external and internal motivation. When you feel that there is no motivation for studying, try to calm down and think about what you want in the future. Thinking about your goals might motivate you to study harder. You could also create a study plan for yourself and pair it with a reward system. For example, if you complete certain study tasks, you can reward yourself accordingly. This might help increase your external motivation. Additionally, improving your abilities and building self-confidence may reduce your tendency to feel disillusioned. By focusing on studying, boosting your self-confidence, and engaging in more social interactions, you might become more cheerful and active. You could also try to appreciate the beauty around you and find things that make you happy. When you feel down, you can do things that interest you or go out for a walk to relax your mind. Going to the gym for a workout might also help release pent-up emotions. Hopefully, when your mood improves, things will get better. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 13476 + }, + { + "question": "I am becoming more and more unhappy, always having a sense of confusion and negativity.", + "description": "Does growing up make people less happy? I feel like my mental state is not as good as before, and I am increasingly dissatisfied with myself. I often feel confused and negative. Regarding my studies, because of school leadership, I have been delayed in pursuing a graduate degree. I feel lost and powerless about the future. Even in my second year of graduate studies, I don't know what my plans are. There is a high probability that I will become a teacher, but I don't have a clear goal. I am taking action and trying to make changes, but I lack enthusiasm. I envy others for their hard work. In terms of relationships, I am increasingly confused. I was in a relationship with my first love for two years. Because I couldn't see a future with him, and his family background is worse than mine and he lacks my level of effort, we broke up during the pandemic. After eight months, we got back together, but now he is preparing for a second attempt at graduate school. I don't seem to like him as much anymore, and sometimes I feel that he is always missing something that makes me unsatisfied. But I am still waiting for something, and I don't want to disturb him while he is preparing for his exams. Overall, my emotions are complicated, and I feel like beautiful love always happens to other people, which makes me feel lost. I am becoming increasingly unhappy, full of fear and envy, and under pressure to compete. I am also becoming more dissatisfied with myself. I often feel lost, but I haven't expressed it. How can I improve my mental state?", + "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and learning.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Growing older and feeling more lonely, becoming more anxious is a true reflection for many people. Especially when those around us are working hard for their own goals, we may feel a bit anxious and uneasy. The problems of study and relationships also make us feel helpless. Under various emotions, we are lost, not knowing what we should do, or what else we can do. First, let's talk about academics. Since we want to become a teacher, have we mastered the necessary skills? Compared to others, what are our advantages and disadvantages, and how should we adjust ourselves? If we don't have a clear goal for now, we can start by doing something that we can determine, because doing nothing will definitely lead to stagnation. Secondly, let's discuss love. The other person's family background is not as good as ours, and they don't have our effort. Moreover, we don't see a future with them. It seems that their presence has made us even more confused instead of clarifying our future. Since the other person is preparing for an exam, we can give each other a little more time. If they truly have determination and capability, we believe they will have their own world. If they have given up on themselves, then we do not need to force them. It's also a choice for each of us to be well on our own. Lastly, don't envy what others have, because everyone is unique. What we mostly see is the better side of others, but it doesn't mean they don't have their own troubles. Therefore, we should also give ourselves some time. Adjust our mentality based on our own strengths, after all, our biggest enemy has always been ourselves. The world and I love you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hug the host, feel like the host is in a confused stage of life. In terms of academics and career, the host can observe what traits people praise the most and use the direction that can best showcase your strengths as a career goal. During school, try internships and learning opportunities related to this field. As for emotions, the host can watch videos of raising children and ask yourself, \"How much do I love him? Is our relationship worth having a child for? Would this family be happy if he is the father?\" Almost graduating and the pressure in terms of emotions can make you feel very confused and anxious. However, do not let these negative emotions affect your decision-making. In this regard, you can also consult and communicate with your parents, teachers, seniors, and peers, and ask about the experiences of those who have been through it. In addition to what has been mentioned above, the host can also do a comprehensive evaluation of yourself. What kind of person do I want to become (happy, wealthy, cheerful, generous, elegant...? Or in terms of career/family/life/wealth)? What specific indicators are there for becoming \"a\"? How should I divide these indicators (dividing ultimate indicators into tasks for each stage) and in what ways can I achieve my goals? Once you have a direction to move forward, even if you haven't reached your goals, you will feel fulfilled. Knowing that you are making progress little by little is already good. Being confused means that the overall situation is undecided for the host, everything is possible, and everything can be changed. So, in this sense, being confused is not necessarily a bad thing. Best wishes.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Let's discuss and analyze your concerns: Your first concern is that you are currently in your second year of graduate school and have no plans for the future. You may consider becoming a teacher after completing your studies, but you seem uncertain about it. In other words, you don't know what to do after finishing your studies. Your second concern is about your emotional well-being. You feel like good love always happens to other people, and you feel a bit disappointed. You wish to have a beautiful love life. For your first concern, I need more information from you to help analyze possible career options after graduate school. Also, consider the resources available to you that might offer additional choices. Are you interested and available to discuss this further? Regarding your second concern, if your partner is inferior to you in terms of conditions and academics, it confuses you about the future. Because they are not on par with you, there may be a problem in planning together for the future. After graduation, will you make career choices based on your needs or theirs? Or will you each go your separate ways? This leads to further questions, perhaps even considering a breakup... In both of these situations, not having a clear direction can lead to feeling powerless. Are you temporarily without direction? Or do you actually know a direction but don't want to choose it because it isn't your ideal choice? Would you like to discuss this further? If there are parts of this discussion that involve privacy, feel free to send a private message.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Oh my, after reading this, I feel like it's just me four years ago. I also got admitted through recommendation, because majors were chosen based on exam scores. I could only be admitted to a major that I didn't really understand and seemed to have no prospects. As it turned out, it really didn't help my future, as finding a job is really difficult. In terms of relationships, it's even worse than yours. Breaking up and making up, arguing and fighting, but in the end, there's no result. Thinking about it, it really was not happy, but I'm not as motivated as you are. At least you still want to change, but I just go with the flow, let things develop on their own, so after graduation, it seemed like life was pushing me along, go wherever it took me. Actually, true unhappiness really doesn't come from the time when we're in school, but when you're mercilessly beaten by your job and feel powerless. So I think now you shouldn't dwell on these things that affect your mood. Calm down, go for a run, listen to career planning courses, do internships, try things out, find something you want to do and actually do it, and prepare early for post-graduation work. As for relationships, give yourself and him a deadline. During this period when he's studying for his exams, don't disturb him, give each other some space to think. In fact, you have to be more positive about everything. The more unhappy you are, the more you have to face it positively. Once you start moving and getting busy, your mind will be less cluttered with all kinds of random thoughts, and life will start developing on a normal track. Keep it up, believe in yourself.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP: After reading your experience, it reminded me of my own. At that time, I don't know what triggered a switch inside me, becoming increasingly dissatisfied with myself. I had high goals in mind but couldn't work hard in a down-to-earth manner. I went through a low point, but now I'm slowly coming out of it. I hope you can clarify your goals, and once you've made a choice, don't regret it because regret is the most draining thing. As for relationships, I hope you won't settle and will listen to your inner self, rather than accepting just anyone. I suggest you talk to Duo Duo and close friends around you, even your family can help, don't keep everything bottled up inside, they will comfort and assist you. Secondly, I suggest you exercise more, like running. You can also listen to music to relax. I hope you can get through this low period and be the master of your own life. Wishing you well.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! I read and reread your message, and it seems like I understand what you're expressing: you're dissatisfied with yourself, dissatisfied with your emotions, lost and directionless about the future, and you don't know what to do. You're feeling lost and upset, is that correct? It seems like you're expressing a state of helplessness and distress. You're not clear about the direction of your efforts, and you feel very uncomfortable with everything in the present moment. You don't want to accept it, but you also don't know what to do. It's like a state of being covered in a messy and hard-to-clean way. The feeling of powerlessness in here might be telling me about the \"weakness\" and \"powerlessness\" in your heart, which seem to largely influence and control you. They prevent you from clearly understanding your problems, knowing the direction of your efforts, and having the strength to make choices. You need to believe that you can change. Perhaps you need a good counselor to help you sort out your inner thoughts, so that your inner self doesn't feel so \"weak\" and \"powerless\" and you can have more confidence and strength, more hope and motivation. Many universities have counseling offices that offer free psychological counseling. I'm not sure about their level of professionalism, but maybe you can find a qualified teacher in there to assist you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 3700 + }, + { + "question": "Why do I start to feel afraid once I find something in my studies to be easy?", + "description": "I am a person who 'loves learning' very much. In college, I self-studied Korean because of my obsession with Korean celebrities, and now I am preparing for a proficiency exam. I had a period of stagnation in my studies due to work, but recently I picked it up again. When I do practice exercises, I feel that the questions are too easy. My initial reaction is that this set of questions is not good, why is it so easy? And then I make very few mistakes, which makes me doubt myself even more. The same goes for when I learn to sing, sometimes I quickly find the technique, but I also doubt myself. I feel that many things are too easy and it makes me feel very distressed. Why can't it be a bit more difficult? Why can't I suffer a bit more because of this issue and set more challenges for myself? Sometimes I wonder if I am being too arrogant and narcissistic. Even if something is clearly very simple at work and I easily understand it, I still wonder if it's too easy and if I shouldn't make it more difficult. Am I burdening myself with excessive worry?", + "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, confusion.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "It seems that you are challenging difficulties. There are several potential reasons to analyze why you like to go against difficulties: \n1. Lack of confidence: Simple things make you doubt your ability, and you don't believe that you can solve them quickly and easily. Only when you solve complex and difficult problems do you believe in yourself. You want to prove your strength by overcoming challenges. \n2. Internal conflicts: You may have never relaxed yourself and are afraid to relax. Once you encounter something that can be easily resolved, you may feel restless. \n3. Addicted to pain: How could someone be addicted to pain? There must be some factor inside you that allows you to benefit from making things more difficult and punishing yourself harshly in exchange for the recognition, reward, sympathy, or care of someone important. \n4. Creating an image in your mind: Let the storm come more violently, if it can't break me, it will make me stronger. \n5. Personality may have some stubbornness. According to your description, let's discuss a few points: \n1. \"Love to study,\" being a fan, self-studying Korean, preparing for level exams\u2014all of these are challenges against difficulties, and there is a kind of perseverance. If you are not happy with them, you are declaring war on yourself. \n2. Writing exercises, feeling too simple, making few mistakes, learning to sing quickly, you will doubt yourself. You don't believe that you can solve all those questions, and you don't believe that you can learn to sing quickly. It's not that the questions are too simple, or the songs are too easy, it's that you have always doubted your ability. You have been climbing, even if you are almost at the peak, you think the mountain is too low. \n3. Feeling that things are too simple is very painful. If the problem is bigger, it will make you suffer more and create more difficulties. You want to make simple tasks more difficult. This is like the saying, wanting to throw a stone and hit your own foot\u2014when the road is smooth and unobstructed, you want to place a stone there, and then find a way to remove the stone. Too smooth things make some people uneasy, always feeling that it's not possible for things to go so smoothly, is there a huge danger waiting ahead? Only by subjecting yourself to greater pain can you possibly live up to someone. Do you know that you are hurting yourself in disguise? If you want to find positive factors, they do exist. Fearless of difficulties and not afraid of challenges can make you forge ahead. However, be careful. When you feel uncomfortable, stop and let things that should be simple return to simplicity. Things are not so complicated, and you are already strong enough. I hope you can give yourself some time and spare yourself!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello ~ I can understand your feelings, sending you a hug ~ \"Feeling scared when things are too simple,\" sounds a bit strange indeed. It might require further self-exploration to gain a more in-depth understanding of this situation. I don't quite understand, even though you say things always seem too simple, there must still be things you don't know how to do, as learning is endless. So, if you constantly increase the difficulty, can't you create many impossibilities? Of course, this is just a small doubt and speculation. You can try to feel what you are afraid of and ask yourself, \"I feel scared, I am afraid that... if it's too simple, then I will...\" Sometimes, you can gain some information. I wonder if you have a tendency towards perfectionism? Do you seek perfection in what you do (not necessarily everything, perhaps only certain important or interesting things)? Do you try to answer every question when taking exams? Can you accept your mistakes calmly? Because perfectionists sometimes also experience fear of simplicity, essentially it is their desire to experience that feeling of setbacks and failures, although the reasons are more complex. Take care ~.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The thought of the questioner is very normal. Humans are naturally inclined to seek challenges, dissatisfied with the status quo, constantly learning, and understanding the constant pursuit. Otherwise, we would not have evolved from primitive humans who struggled to find food to the prosperous and technologically advanced society we have today. It is precisely because of human learning ability and curiosity that we are willing to continuously challenge difficulties and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from overcoming them. The questioner may be someone with strong learning ability and quick comprehension. This is an advantage for you, as you can learn everything more thoroughly and proficiently. So when you feel that a set of questions is too simple, you can switch to a more difficult set of questions, or not just learn the Korean language, but also learn about Korean history and culture, communicate face-to-face with Koreans, read original Korean books, and write an article in Korean. Even when you have become very proficient in Korean, you can share your experience and teach others how to learn Korean. These are all methods to increase the difficulty level. I believe that as a foreign language, these things require time to accumulate and are not so easy. Human wisdom and knowledge are progressive. Once you overcome one challenge, you instinctively want to conquer the next one, which is why we have become so advanced. Perhaps the learning content you have found now seems simple to you, but there is still much more for you to learn. You can seek out challenging learning content that suits your abilities and delve deeper into your studies. You mentioned that the work is actually very simple, but you want it to be more challenging, indicating that this job is not challenging for you. In that case, what you need to do is find a job that matches your abilities. At this point, you have two choices. One is to transfer to another department. Perhaps the work in the current department is too simple for you, but you can handle more challenging tasks, such as moving from a general customer service department to a department specialized in handling complaints. This would present a challenge for yourself. When you become adept at handling complaints, you may even become a department leader and guide other employees in handling complaints. Alternatively, you can become a trainer specializing in training new employees in their work. The other option is to optimize your current department. For customer service, if all I need to do is handle simple customer inquiries, can I learn more specialized knowledge and provide more targeted responses to customers? Can I thoroughly understand customer needs in order to provide personalized and effective solutions? These are ways to add complexity to existing tasks. The pursuit of knowledge is an endless journey. Going to the library, for example, would reveal that even the smallest branches of each discipline have an overwhelming number of books, exploring different angles and aspects. Sometimes, when we think things are too simple, it may be because we haven't thought deeply enough. Do not be afraid to challenge yourself. This is the driving force behind human progress. If you are able to handle it, then strive to learn!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15994 + }, + { + "question": "27-year-old woman, facing difficulties at work and in life, experiencing anxiety to the point of suffering from insomnia.", + "description": "27-year-old woman, about to get married. Because I am not satisfied with the new management system implemented by the company's new management, and I feel that my current job has no growth potential after staying in the plateau period for too long. It is truly a waste of my time. Moreover, I blindly demand that we work overtime even when there is no need, so my attitude at work is not very cooperative and my attendance is poor. I really want to change jobs, and I estimate that the company will not renew my contract next year. However, I want to switch to a company with more challenging job content, but I cannot do so because I lack the necessary skills. I have failed several tests for different companies. Other company leaders whom I have previously worked with have asked if I would be interested in joining their company, but I refused because I don't want to engage in the same unproductive work. Now I feel particularly anxious about the fact that my skills are not sufficient to smoothly transition to a new work environment. My original life plan was to switch to a better platform, hone my abilities, and achieve a level where I can work from home by taking on freelance projects within two years of getting married. I want to have a career that won't be delayed too much by childbirth and taking care of children. However, given the current progress, my attempts to change jobs have repeatedly failed, and my anxiety is growing. We have bought two houses, and we have a mortgage of over 150,000 yuan per year for thirty years. After deducting the housing provident fund, we still need to pay over 80,000 yuan per year. The pressure is quite high. He is growing fast and earning 300,000 yuan a year. Other companies are even willing to offer him better terms just to get him to join them, whereas I earn only 100,000 yuan a year and keep failing. The gap between us only adds to my anxiety.", + "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxious emotions, fragile and tearful.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! In the midst of career planning, there are upcoming changes in lifestyle: getting married. How will these unknown futures turn out? The more I think about it, the more anxious I become. What should we do? Let's work through it together: entering marriage is an important stage in life, transitioning from \"me\" to \"we\", will we get along well and grow old together? Will we experience the hardships of those around us... The brain is like a never-ending playback machine, constantly ringing. I think the lack of security in marriage is the main cause of anxiety. The interaction between partners in marriage requires learning. The book \"Intimate Relationships\" divides marriage into phases of infatuation, disillusionment, introspection, and revelation. After a period of entering marriage, we may discover the other person's flaws or certain behaviors we can't accept, and we will try to change them to become the ideal partner we envision. This process can lead to conflicts and disappointments, and the solution is to let go of our expectations and let the other person be themselves, unconditionally giving our love. Handling the relationship with both sets of parents is also crucial for a marriage. The most important factor for a happy marriage is the character of the partner. When faced with uncertain factors in future life, whether we can withstand tests and temptations depends on the qualities of our partners. Concerning the partner's economic income, the economic foundation determines the superstructure. Your worries, as the questioner, do have practical significance. Indeed, some men believe that with a higher income, they should have \"authority\" at home, overlooking the efforts of their female partners. Or, as you mentioned, if the income disparity is too great, the man may stray. If you have concerns in these aspects, it is important to communicate with your partner. Both parties need to acknowledge the gender inequality (some people are unwilling to admit that women have a relatively lower social status, but this is a fact), and that different social roles and divisions of labor have different social values. They are all equally important and must reach a mutual understanding in recognition. At a certain stage in marriage, our focus may shift to children and family. However, this is not everything. We should always have a sense of \"self\" in our hearts and not forget our personal growth. Only when our inner strength is strong can we truly feel secure. Managing our current life well, anxiety about the future brings no benefit to our present life. Recognizing that \"anxiety-inducing matters\" are not important to you will help you let go of anxiety. As for career planning, setting appropriate goals and needs is crucial, as excessive or low demands can diminish the effectiveness of our actions and lead to anxiety. It is important to assess our abilities reasonably and find suitable strategies. Each of us has the ability to realize ourselves. I wish you a successful career and a fulfilling life!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Seeing characters as if they were in front of you, I hope these words can bring you even a little warmth. You have high expectations for yourself, emanating independence and progress from the depths of your heart. Such a person, even if they are temporarily lost, can quickly find their way out. From your description, it is clear that your pressure comes from two aspects: work and family. Regarding work: your current job is not suitable. You clearly point out that you dislike the management system of the company and find your current job unchallenging. So it would actually be wise to change jobs. However, changing jobs is not as simple as imagined, as nothing can be achieved overnight. I suggest that you first switch to a company with more reasonable management system and a job similar to your current one. This will make you happier. With a pleasant mood, you can then seek personal breakthroughs. Often, personal breakthroughs do not come from daily work, as repetitive work does not lead to growth. To smoothly overcome this plateau, you need to enhance yourself during non-work hours. By getting rid of the distasteful work environment and combining it with your efforts, it is very likely that you will achieve personal breakthroughs within two years and move on to more challenging companies. Alternatively, you could go straight to applying for more challenging positions without considering whether you truly have the ability or not. Many companies care about your existing job skills, but they care even more about your ability to learn. As long as you are willing to work hard and learn, there is no question of whether you deserve a certain job or not. Based on this foundation, you will grow quickly and be able to take on freelance work from home, realizing your own plans. Regarding the family: do not be distressed because your husband is currently better than you. The fact that such an excellent person chose you shows that you have your own strengths. You are already a small collective with common expectations and plans. Temporary setbacks do not indicate that you are not good enough, as long as you make efforts, you will soon catch up. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to others. Also, one's contribution to the family is not just in terms of work and money, but also in the small matters at home. These things may seem unimportant and not overtly noticeable, but in reality, they have a significant impact on the family. I wish you to quickly overcome this plateau and successfully live the life you desire.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Wishing your wishes come true. First, feel your feelings from the text. I can sense your anxiety, worries, and fear. You are worried that you will never achieve your desires and feel that there is a gap between you and your loved one. Second, why do you feel this way? 1. The more people lose, the stronger their emotions become. You expect yourself to reach an ideal level, but for various reasons, you haven't achieved it, causing a psychological gap. This gap leads to loss and a sense of being out of control. When you are unable to control your life, you start to feel afraid, even anxious. 2. Comparing yourself to your loved one. Because you have established a \"vertical relationship\" in your mind, a relationship pattern of who is superior and who is inferior. This naturally leads to a competitive mentality, and when the other person is stronger than you, you feel inferior. Third, how to solve it? 1. Face work goals. Identify the reasons for failure. There must be reasons for failure, nothing happens for no reason. Differentiate internal and external factors. If it is an external factor, let it go because you can't control it. If it is an internal factor, you need to adjust yourself. When companies recruit, most of them focus on \"demand,\" and everything else is not a problem we can control. You can work towards this direction. Live in the present, don't think about how you will be in the future. The future is a blank page, do a good job in the present moment's work, and only then can you turn the future around. Living in the present moment can also reduce your overthinking and unnecessary anxiety. Gain a sense of control in this very moment. 2. Face the comparison issue with your loved one and establish a \"horizontal relationship.\" Only by establishing a horizontal relationship with others can you avoid being alternately arrogant and inferior. Feeling inferior when you see someone stronger than you, feeling superior when you see someone weaker than you. In \"Nonviolent Communication,\" it is also mentioned that one of the things that harm our relationships is \"comparison.\" In a vertical relationship, we cannot see our own position, only who is higher and who is lower. This kind of thinking harms everyone's emotions and overlooks their respective positions and roles. On the contrary, in a horizontal relationship, what we see is everyone's responsibilities, roles, values, and positions. There is no hierarchy, only differences. In this way of thinking, everyone is equal and valuable. In a family, the most important thing for a husband and wife is cooperation based on division of labor. Understand clearly your role and position in the relationship, and doing your part as a wife is already enough. I hope you can adjust yourself and strive harder. Wishing your wishes come true! Namaste!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 15829 + }, + { + "question": "Confession, the man did not reject me, he said to let it be, but he is ignoring me?", + "description": "We have a shallow relationship and haven't had much contact, but I really like him and couldn't help but confess to him. He didn't refuse, saying to let things take their course, but he has been ignoring me for four months. Is this a test or distance?", + "keywords": "Love, winning back an ex, relationship management, feelings", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello there~ Even though you haven't had much contact, you still really like this \"fantasy\" or externally fitting person. You gathered up the courage to express yourself, hoping to bring the relationship closer. However, the other person has distanced themselves from you for four months. You are caught up in this unattainable state of \"secret love,\" yearning for something you cannot have. Is this the case? The silence and distance from an adult, unless an unexpected death occurs, is a clear rejection. They have tactfully told you to let things go naturally and have directly distanced themselves from you for four months. Both their words and actions clearly show that they do not like you and are not interested in a romantic relationship with you. A guy who genuinely likes a girl would never \"test\" her in this way. If you still hold onto these illusions in this situation, it may be due to a few reasons: First, the other person's value as a potential partner is much higher than yours, and your decision-making power in the mate selection market is relatively low. You desire to reach for a \"god-like\" man, but he is \"unwilling.\" Even if he were willing, it is highly likely that your relationship would only be short-lived. Second, you lack emotional experience and have a low perception of interacting with the opposite sex. Third, you don't believe that you deserve to be loved. In your upbringing, you may have learned emotional patterns from your parents or other people that are filled with \"tests\" and \"challenges.\" Sometimes, secret love can be beautiful because it allows you to project all your inner fantasies onto one person who fulfills all your \"emotional needs.\" Perhaps we need to go through such stages, but they are not real. A genuine relationship is with someone who can accept your affections, interact with you, and stay by your side. Let go of this unreal \"relationship\" and shift your focus onto yourself, working hard to improve your own value. Whether it be your appearance, personality, work, or skills, only when you become better can you attract and be compatible with the kind of guy you desire. Only when you love yourself and open up like a flower will butterflies (men) be drawn to you. May you love yourself and find someone who loves you for who you are~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 4281 + }, + { + "question": "\"Working for 8 years, I am afraid of writing textual work reports. How should I deal with this feeling?\"", + "description": "I have been working for 8 years, and every time I have to write a work summary or a small report, I feel a headache. I don't know how to write, and I am also worried about being laughed at by colleagues for my poor writing skills. So whenever I write something with text, it reminds me of the feeling of being bad at studying when I was young. I have realized that this feeling is related to my poor academic performance and frequent criticism. Could you please advise me on how to deal with this feeling? Thank you very much!", + "keywords": "Growth, work, and studying.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Before answering, I give you a hug! \u25cf You mentioned that as someone who has been working for 8 years, you often struggle with writing work summaries or small reports. You don't know how to write them and worry that your colleagues will make fun of what you write, criticizing your writing skills. So every time you have to write something, it reminds you of the feeling of being bad at studying when you were young. I see that you are someone who has a strong ability to self-reflect, and I can sense that your past experiences have had a deep impact on you! \u25a0 Learned helplessness refers to a special psychological state in which a person or animal continuously experiences setbacks and demonstrates negative emotions, cognition, and behavior. When a person realizes that no matter how hard they try or what they do, they always end up failing, they start to feel that they cannot control the situation as a whole. As a result, their mental foundation crumbles and their fighting spirit is lost. Therefore, whenever you write a report, you always feel a headache and fear being criticized or made fun of. The general causes of learned helplessness are: \u25a0 Long-term accumulation of poor academic performance \u25a0 Inappropriate evaluation methods When unable to successfully complete learning tasks and frequently facing criticism and ridicule, anxiety arises and a fear of exploring things and participating in activities develops. One becomes unwilling to focus on improving academic performance and instead invest energy in maintaining \"self-esteem\" and \"identity\" in the eyes of others. \u25a0 Incorrect attribution When students attribute the factors causing academic and psychological problems to being innate, stable, and uncontrollable, they easily feel guilty, depressed, and inferior, believing that no matter how much effort they put in, they will find it difficult to improve their academic performance. This decreases their motivation to learn and they become inclined to make minimal effort. Since you've already realized that your current mindset has been influenced by the past, try not to dwell on the bad feelings you had before. Remember, people grow and change, and you are no longer that child who constantly received criticism. Effort pays off! Try the following strategies: Examine your attribution patterns Reflect on whether you truly lack the ability to write well. After all this time, you have been practicing and must have made progress. Did you exaggerate temporary difficulties into permanent dilemmas? Do you start denying yourself and believing that you are incapable even before starting to write? Don't negate yourself in advance, believe in yourself, and continuous practice will make you a better writer! Focus on the process You mentioned always worrying about writing poorly and being laughed at. Even before starting, you worry about the outcome. Try setting smaller goals, not aiming to receive compliments or avoid being laughed at, but focusing on \"writing diligently\" instead of \"writing well.\" Provide yourself with timely encouragement Every time you start writing and after you finish, you can give yourself timely encouragement. \"I have the courage to start, and I will make an effort. Look, I started writing! I believe I can make a great beginning! This paragraph is written well!\" Enjoy the process and each small victory you achieve. What worries us is just the worry itself. When you start feeling a headache, try breaking down the problem: Why am I worried? What situation am I facing? Has my worry come true? If not, what can I do to prevent it from happening? If it has happened, what can I do to remedy the situation? Believe in yourself, you have already grown so much! I wish you happiness and freedom from being troubled by these thoughts.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, I also had the same feelings as you before, not daring to write, afraid of writing badly and being laughed at, afraid of criticism. So when I saw your question, I strongly related to it. The criticism I received mainly came from my father. Since I was little, he would criticize me a lot, often checking my studies and if it wasn't up to par, he would say, \"How can you not understand something so simple?\" and even hit me or make me kneel as punishment. Later, after participating in a psychological camp's \"Writing Therapy\", I gradually let go and started to write boldly. Now I am introducing my experience to you. Through your own fear of writing, you realize that it is related to your poor academic performance and receiving criticism when you were young, which is great. Finding the root cause makes it easier to deal with. 1. Close your eyes and recall the scene where you were criticized, feel the emotions you had at that time, maybe sadness, sorrow, and grievance. Stay with these emotions for a while, hug that child who desires recognition and affirmation. 2. Package these experiences and the voices of criticism into a box, and say to yourself, \"That is the old me. Now I have grown up, I can give myself recognition and affirmation. I am already outstanding.\" Then leave this box there, in the depths of your heart. 3. You can start by trying free writing, writing without summaries or reports, just write whatever you want, unstructured, whether it's expressing emotions or having no specific theme, just write freely. 4. When you feel comfortable with free writing, then you can start writing summaries and reports. I hope these methods are helpful to you.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "If writing texts gives the poster such a headache, then let's approach this task from a different perspective. When faced with the need to write texts, switch jobs with a colleague who is good at writing texts. In a non-confidential situation, you help your colleague with a task that is easier for you but might be more difficult for them, and in return, they help you with writing texts (but you must provide ideas and materials, and review and edit their work afterwards). You don't have to worry about your colleague not accepting this, because it is a mutually beneficial arrangement. And you don't have to worry about your supervisor not accepting it either, as supervisors generally value the results of the work. As long as your relationship with your colleague and supervisor is not particularly bad, this method is feasible. Since writing is very painful for you, why not try the above method? There's also an extra benefit to this approach: it will improve your relationship with your colleague.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 944 + }, + { + "question": "Is my boyfriend suffering from schizophrenia?", + "description": "He has always exhibited contradictory behavior, for example, sometimes he is very affectionate and tells me he loves me. Other times he is very indifferent, claiming he loves nothing and wants to live alone, without any connection to family or anyone else. He says that what he says is what he truly feels, but many of his words are contradictory. Last night, we talked until late, and for the first time he confided in me, saying that since he was young, he has always felt another consciousness monitoring his every move, constantly questioning, mocking, or exposing him. Every action he takes, that consciousness is there giving its own different opinions or asking him for reasons. When he is not performing well at work, that consciousness mocks him. When he is intimate with me, that consciousness also wonders if it's the same with everyone. Only when he is faced with something he doesn't understand, like solving a problem, does that consciousness fall silent. He often says that he hasn't felt truly happy for a long time because that consciousness emerges whenever he feels happiness. I used to think he had anxiety disorder because sometimes he suddenly becomes very anxious for no reason, and then he throws things or inflicts violence on himself. He says that he is actually fighting against that consciousness. So I suspect, is he experiencing a bit of schizophrenia?", + "keywords": "Treatment, illness diagnosis", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From your description, we can basically rule out \"schizophrenia\" because none of his behaviors align with the clinical diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia. In general psychology and the diagnosis and differentiation of psychological disorders, the internationally recognized criteria are: the principles of illness and non-illness (psychological). 1. The principle of unity, also known as the principle of identity. That is, whether the subject and object are unified, and whether there are symptoms such as hallucinations or auditory hallucinations. 2. The principle of internal coordination of psychological activities. That is, crying when sad and laughing when happy. 3. The principle of relative stability of personality. Since human personality has stability, it does not change suddenly without significant external stimuli. So, the situation of your boyfriend can basically exclude schizophrenia. Also, let me add a sentence, schizophrenia is not like its literal meaning of splitting into another person, but rather a type of mental disorder. When we say someone seems to have schizophrenia, it means they exhibit behavior that is completely different from or even opposite to their original personality. This kind of behavior is more similar to \"dissociative identity disorder\" rather than \"schizophrenia\". The commonality between dissociative identity disorder and schizophrenia is the lack of \"self-awareness\". From your description, it seems that your boyfriend is aware of these \"changes\" and \"differences\". This is likely another kind of \"pseudo-multiple personality\" caused by hysterical personality, which is very similar and common. Hysterical personality, also known as dramatic personality or histrionic personality, is a typical personality disorder caused by psychological developmental lag. Its characteristics are: quick and rich emotional changes, but shallow emotional experiences, strong imagination, suggestibility, a tendency to attract attention, and a high degree of egocentrism. I have received many visitors with similar expressions, almost all of them caused by hysterical personality leading to \"pseudo-multiple personality\". I suggest getting the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) test at the hospital, which is currently a reliable and valid personality test. Doctors will make a basic judgment based on the test results. The standard test has 566 questions, which although not difficult, may take some time. Remember to eat something before going. I wish you a happy life!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello~ It is impossible to determine from your description whether your boyfriend has schizophrenia. If you have such concerns, it is recommended to go to the hospital for relevant professional examinations in order to confirm. From what I gather, it seems more like your boyfriend has a habit of self-doubt. He constantly feels monitored and often negated, whether it be at work or in your relationship. The more he blames himself, the more difficult it becomes for him to make changes and the easier it is for him to give up on himself. Self-forgiveness allows one to channel their energy into taking action, rather than battling with feelings of guilt, regret, and self-blame. It is important to know that self-destruction is the most draining. First, accepting oneself and acknowledging the efforts made, even if they didn't meet expectations, is necessary. Only then can one regain the motivation to move forward. Accepting oneself is a very important issue. Deep-rooted thinking patterns often have a strong experiential foundation. Self-doubt often stems from childhood neglect, while self-denial often arises from a lack of recognition from important people during the process of growing up. Thinking tendencies tend to reinforce themselves. When a pattern of self-doubt and self-denial has already formed due to many experiences, it will drive one to constantly seek and create \"I am inadequate\" and \"I am not good enough\" in life experiences to solidify oneself. Real-life facts are diverse, and every fact can be interpreted from multiple perspectives, so no matter what projections he seeks to solidify his internal patterns in the external world, he will succeed, and the \"self-fulfilling prophecy\" will help create such \"facts\". Therefore, although his feelings are very real to him, in order to move away from these feelings, he must learn at the beginning to \"distrust\" his own emotions and reasoning and take action based on more positive beliefs. Furthermore, there may be a need for adjustment and improvement in cognitive aspects, as contradictory behaviors can often be explained, but when it comes to certain issues, contradictory statements need to be recognized and judged. Best wishes~", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "The main criteria for diagnosing schizophrenia in textbooks are threefold. Firstly, a lack of insight, meaning that the person does not recognize that they have a problem. Secondly, a discrepancy between subjectivity and objectivity, such as obvious manifestations of delusions and hallucinations that are detached from reality. Thirdly, an inability to coordinate and unify internal emotional expressions with the external environment, for example, appearing happy when one should be feeling sad. Based on these three criteria, it can be determined that your boyfriend does not have schizophrenia. His symptoms are more indicative of a personality disorder, specifically a dissociative identity disorder. It is possible for him to be diagnosed with schizophrenia in a psychiatric hospital, but he does possess insight. His condition also resembles a dissociative disorder within the hysteric personality disorder. However, hysteric personality disorder primarily involves an exaggerated and performative personality, whereas his description suggests a dissociation of personality. This issue is related to his trauma, particularly severe early experiences of trauma, which led to an excessive repression of a certain subpersonality. When this suppressed subpersonality cannot be contained at the conscious and subconscious levels, it emerges in various ways. It is recommended that he undergo a diagnosis at a hospital and receive medication and counseling simultaneously. Through psychological counseling, the repressed personality can be seen and accepted, and the state of dissociation can be integrated.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello there, friend! After reading your description, I personally feel that your boyfriend does not have schizophrenia (at least not to a severe extent), so there is no need to worry too much. Sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 Actually, after reading your description, I couldn't help but think of the perspective of psychoanalysis: our mental world can be divided into two parts, the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind only accounts for about 5%, like the tip of an iceberg, while the remaining 95% belongs to our subconscious. Our emotions and behaviors often obey our subconscious rather than our conscious mind. Your boyfriend's so-called \"another consciousness\" is essentially a \"complex\" or \"shadow\" in his subconscious speaking out, and the energy of this \"shadow\" is quite strong, far beyond what his conscious mind can control. This \"shadow\" is like a \"volcano\" deep inside him, ready to erupt at any moment! \"Only when he looks at something he can't understand, like solving a problem, does that consciousness remain silent.\" This is also a kind of symbolism. The meaning behind \"solving a problem\" implies \"seeking a solution.\" The reason why the \"shadow\" becomes a \"shadow\" is that deep inside him, there is some \"unresolved event\" or \"unresolved issue.\" Only when this problem is \"solved\" will the \"shadow\" dissipate. From my personal experience, this may be because in his growing up process, he internalized certain external \"accusations,\" \"judgments,\" or \"mockery\" as a part of himself. So, before I answer your question in detail, can you please answer the following questions: 1. Do you know about your boyfriend's original family situation? How is his \"intimate relationship\" with his parents from childhood to adulthood? 2. How are your boyfriend's daily interpersonal relationships? Does he get along well with others? 3. Has your boyfriend ever experienced situations of \"being denied\" or \"being mocked\" while growing up? Has he encountered any significant events that led to \"psychological shadows\"? Of course, if these questions involve his personal privacy, I respect your personal wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Your boyfriend does not have schizophrenia; it is just his past experiences that are affecting his current behavior. Last night, we talked until late, and for the first time, he confided in me that he has always felt a separate consciousness watching him since he was young. This consciousness constantly monitors his every move and questions, mocks, or exposes him. Whenever he does something, this consciousness expresses its own different opinions or asks him for reasons. When he doesn't do well at work, this consciousness ridicules him. When we have intimate moments, this consciousness also wonders if it's the same with everyone else. Only when he encounters something he can't understand, like solving problems, does this consciousness remain silent. He often says that he hasn't felt genuinely happy for a long time because this consciousness pops up whenever he feels happy. This conscience that monitors him is a belief he formed in the past, or it can be said to be his inner shadow child. Your boyfriend says that he hasn't felt genuinely happy for a long time because this consciousness pops up whenever he feels happy. This is because he lacks a sense of self-worth. To truly be happy, we need a sense of self-worth. Self-worth is the highest level of human needs. This need is innate and gives us a strong sense of existence. If we receive encouragement and praise from our parents when we were children, we will develop the belief that \"I am loved\" and \"My existence has value,\" which results in greater self-confidence. Conversely, if we are constantly criticized and belittled by our parents, negative beliefs such as \"I am worthless\" and \"Others are mocking me\" will be formed in our hearts. As a result, our ability to handle stress will be poor, and we will struggle to build self-confidence. This is the impact that self-worth and self-awareness needs have on us. Your boyfriend says that only when he is thinking about solving problems does this consciousness remain silent. It is because when he is solving problems, he enters a state of mindfulness. You can encourage your boyfriend to practice mindfulness exercises to bring his awareness to the present moment.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! According to your description, your boyfriend's mental state is indeed a bit worrying. Let's sort it out together. My guess is that your boyfriend may have experienced trauma in the past that has not been healed to this day. Many scenes in life events may trigger the traumatic experiences he had back then: not being loved, not having the ability to love others, being mocked, not feeling valued in the eyes of others... When these experiences emerge, many imaginary images and voices appear in his mind, which, over time, become difficult to shake off and constantly judge his own actions: the inner core leader controls his words and actions. The fear of being hurt and the unwillingness to make efforts may be thoughts on another subconscious level. It may also be the result of not receiving praise and affirmation from parents since childhood, leading to self-doubt and inferiority. Your boyfriend is able to clearly express his feelings and concentrate when solving problems, but the leader who orchestrates himself disappears. So I think your boyfriend is still mentally normal. He just needs to find the person who commands his automatic thinking and reconcile with him. Each of us has become who we are now based on the events we have experienced and the cognition we had at that time, influenced by the social environment. There is no right or wrong; they are all external manifestations of self-protection. Therefore, we need to forgive ourselves, be more tolerant to ourselves, and appreciate the beauty of our present lives. I suggest that your boyfriend go to the hospital for a comprehensive psychological assessment and find a teacher who is good at dynamic consultation for long-term counseling, and find the person who will command himself internally. With the help of the counselor, he can discover a different self, thereby helping himself to grow and become a better version of himself: love and being loved, giving and accepting are equally important and fulfilling. Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Do you have a boyfriend with a mental illness? This still requires a professional doctor to diagnose. I would like to discuss with you the voices he described in his brain here: Sometimes, a person's brain is like a tape recorder, constantly repeating the same thoughts. If there have been unpleasant experiences or wounds in childhood that could not be explained at the time, they will continue to repeat in the mind and eventually become our beliefs, thinking that we are not good enough, not worthy of love! But these voices are not real! Past traumas do not fade away with time, and this is true for most people, so your partner is not an exception, just different people have different ways of expressing their beliefs. For the sake of your future together, I recommend seeking psychological counseling. It can be seen that you have had a difficult time in this relationship! You have to comfort your boyfriend's emotions while also soothing your own emotions. But no matter how he feels in the end, I hope you can take care of yourself!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello! Based on the description, it is possible that a case of dissociative identity disorder has occurred. 1\u20e3\ufe0f Dissociative identity disorder is a severe mental disorder and a hysterical dissociative disorder. 2\u20e3\ufe0f Normal individuals can have two different modes of thinking at the same time. Each mode of thinking operates independently without interference or influence from other modes. 3\u20e3\ufe0f The presence of dual personalities has a significant impact on the patient's normal life. Usually, the patient frequently has two sets of thinking processes in operation when contemplating issues, which affects information gathering and hinders decision-making. The patient may have difficulties choosing or exhibit indecisiveness, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, dizziness, headaches, insomnia, etc. Dual personalities are a serious mental disorder. \ufe0f\ufe0fCauses: 1\u20e3\ufe0f Traumatic events 2\u20e3\ufe0f Early experiences 3\u20e3\ufe0f Exposure to family violence, family relationships \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0fTreatment: 1\u20e3\ufe0f Hypnosis therapy, where the two personalities meet through hypnosis and reach a consensus through dialogue. 2\u20e3\ufe0f Reduce or relieve personal life and work environment stress, and improve living conditions. Essentially, multiple personalities are a defense mechanism against environmental stress. 3\u20e3\ufe0f Due to strong feelings of inferiority and vulnerability behind multiple personalities, it is important to gradually cultivate self-confidence and self-empowerment. Start with small things and gradually gain a sense of success. 4\u20e3\ufe0f Provide patients with enough satisfaction and a sense of security. 5\u20e3\ufe0f Communicate with patients and encourage them to build friendships with kind-hearted individuals. I hope this helps.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Analysis from Tangyang: 1 First of all, schizophrenia is often accompanied by paranoid delusions. If not treated in a timely manner, it is impossible to maintain a normal state. It is very easy to identify. For example, he might say to you that someone is harming him, and even feel that everyone in the world knows him, believing that everyone is an arranged actor, accompanying him in acting, and he is the protagonist, the center of the world. 2 Generally, when paranoid delusions occur, they are often accompanied by auditory and visual hallucinations. For instance, one might constantly feel someone speaking in their ear. The neighbors are discussing him, and passersby are intentionally talking for him to hear. Everyone is hinting at him and making him do things according to these hints. 3 The torment caused by delusions and hallucinations can lead to insomnia. The inability to sleep for a long time can result in a mental breakdown, screaming and shouting. They may even feel that someone is drugging their food. They feel that there is not a single person they can trust in the world, and even believe that you are also harming them. Treating an illness is like raising a tiger; if the tiger grows big, it will definitely harm people. Gradually, they will lose self-consciousness and start to harm others and destroy things. This is what schizophrenia is like. Based on my words, you can judge your boyfriend's situation. Of course, it is also possible that he has a dissociative identity disorder. This is different from schizophrenia and should be distinguished. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 11750 + }, + { + "question": "22 years old, others often say I behave like a child, and some people think I am immature because of that.", + "description": "I am 22 years old and working as a waiter in a small hotel for the summer. This hotel only has me as a waiter. I am currently in my second year of undergraduate studies and there are also three middle-aged chefs working together. In my daily interactions with the three chefs, I often laugh, but it's not because I'm happy, it's just because there is a chef who is over 45 years old and often tells jokes, which makes me feel that even under such intense physical work, there is someone who can voluntarily joke with me. I can't remain indifferent, but the daily workload is quite large, and I have no time to think about anything else, so I can only respond with laughter. But another chef, upon learning that I am already 22 years old, expressed his prejudice towards me and said I should not laugh so often because I am 22 years old. We were having a meal together, and I could only respond with \"You guys are so funny.\" However, he replied, \"So, are you saying we are abnormal?\" This statement sounded more like he was saying I was abnormal. I don't know why, at 22 years old, people often say I look like an 18-year-old girl. Is it because I don't know how to be my true self in front of others? Why do others say I shouldn't laugh so much? What is the reason behind it?", + "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace interpersonal relationships.", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Laughter is a signal of goodwill, but sometimes it can have the opposite effect. I often laugh, not because I am happy, but because there is a chef in his 40s who often cracks jokes here. It makes me feel that even under this high-intensity physical work, there are people who can actively joke with me, and I cannot remain indifferent. However, my daily workload is quite large, and I don't have time to think about anything else, so I can only respond with laughter. Smiling is the most healing expression, but the true meaning of laughter is determined by its intention and the situation. The laughter we understand is the emotional expression that naturally arises when others do something funny or say something that makes us happy, and it is a genuine laughter from the heart. But if we laugh just to \"accommodate\" others, that kind of smile is called a \"fake smile\" in psychology, which can be distinguished from microexpressions. This may be why others think you are silly because your laughter is not in the appropriate situation, and the intention is not happiness, but to comply with the expression made by others. When you are tired and don't feel like talking to others, honest emotional expression is more conducive to social interaction than perfunctory responses. When you tell others that you are tired and don't want to talk, they will understand and stop disturbing you. Conversely, if you pretend to be interested in the other person's words and respond with a \"fake smile\", it will make the other person feel disrespected and unhappy. So, learn to use your smile appropriately! Best wishes!", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + }, + { + "answer_text": "Hello, reader. After reading your post, it seems that you are concerned about psychological age, the difference between real age and physical appearance, and the problem it presents. You aspire to maturity in your psychological age, but your social experiences greatly limit you. Your real age is older than your physical appearance, and you are very resentful when others call you childish. Therefore, you try your best to maintain a superficial \"maturity\". However, these experienced individuals seem to see through your thoughts all at once, which makes you angry. Furthermore, the reason you detest being childish may stem from a past event that left you feeling deeply humiliated. You swore to never do something so \"stupid\" again, but obviously, everyone makes mistakes, especially in childhood. Why bother caring too much? Why not give yourself the opportunity to continue maturing? This humble one advises you not to worry too much. Farewell.", + "has_label": false, + "labels_sequence": null + } + ], + "questionID": 12443 + }, + { + "question": "Is it excessive to ask my wife, who is living in a different city, to set her social media account to only show posts from the past six months?", + "description": "Today, I had a fight with her because she went out for a late-night snack with her friends. I asked her what time she went out, and she said 9 o'clock. But I knew she actually went out at 7 o'clock. I asked her to take a video for me to see who she was with. I only saw one of her friends hugging her friend's boyfriend, and there were empty bottles and the voices of other guys. She didn't drink, and I asked her three times to show me the video of who else was there, but she didn't show me. After 10 minutes, she finally sent me a video saying she was going back home. When she got home, I asked her why she lied to me, saying she went out after 8 o'clock. She said she was afraid that I would think she went out too early and wouldn't come back. She didn't include the end of the video, and I made her a little angry with my comments. I told her to change the visibility of her WeChat Moments from three days to six months because I wanted to reaffirm my authority. We are currently living apart, and I started working when our child was only one month old. Her Moments mostly consist of the baby's photos. She got mad at me for some reason, but I don't understand why. I asked her for the reason, and she said she didn't like it. In the end, she still listened to me and changed it, but she was mad. Then she went to sleep on her own. I told her to think from different perspectives and goodnight.", + "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management", + "answers": [ + { + "answer_text": "Hello, OP. The foundation of marriage is trust. You can try to communicate with your wife. There are certain boundaries between people, even in intimate relationships. You can schedule a time with her to calmly talk about this matter. Before the conversation, pay attention to your own emotions, so that we can fully express ourselves and understand each other's feelings. First, clarify the purpose of the conversation for both parties, and if necessary, make an outline and plan. As you and your wife live apart, you have fewer opportunities to meet and communicate, which inevitably limits your understanding and reduces emotional communication. This may lead to a \"black box effect\". You worry that she might do something unfavorable to you while apart and lack a sense of security. You can try to communicate with your wife and tell her about your concerns because maintaining a relationship and marriage is a joint responsibility. Your wife has indeed done something wrong by lying, but in some areas, she may have been too strict. Regarding the social network, you can negotiate with her on how to set it up better. 1. Don't criticize her right away. 2. Express your feelings, using the subject \"I.\" This helps avoid criticism. 3. Express your concerns and tell her why you want her to set it up that way. 4. Make a request instead of demanding or commanding. Clearly tell the other person what we want, rather than what we don't want. The same applies to taking photos and videos together. Communicate more with her, using appropriate methods and being patient, she may tell you the truth: the reason why it's inconvenient to take photos. You're right, \"Hope that we can try to think from different perspectives.\" Do it yourself first, and believe that she will also do the same, hoping that your interactions will improve. May you find your own love and happiness. Be careful to avoid these four communication mistakes: 1. Moral judgments. 2. Making comparisons. 3. Avoiding responsibility. 4. Imposing demands.", + "has_label": true, + "labels_sequence": [ + { + "start": 0, + "end": 27, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 27, + "end": 45, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 45, + "end": 70, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 70, + "end": 135, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 135, + "end": 218, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 218, + "end": 259, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 259, + "end": 314, + "type": "Interpretation" + }, + { + "start": 314, + "end": 326, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 326, + "end": 355, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 355, + "end": 379, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 379, + "end": 397, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 397, + "end": 419, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 419, + "end": 471, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + }, + { + "start": 471, + "end": 494, + "type": "Restatement" + }, + { + "start": 494, + "end": 598, + "type": "Direct Guidance" + } + ] + } + ], + "questionID": 5939 + } +] \ No newline at end of file