might i suggest that the wayward wooden one end it all by stuffing himself into an electric pencil sharpener 
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(ROOT (S (MD ) (NP (PRP )) (VP (VB ) (SBAR (IN ) (S (NP (DT ) (JJ ) (JJ ) (NN )) (VP (VBP ) (NP (NP (PRP )) (NP (DT ))) (PP (IN ) (S (VP (VBG ) (NP (PRP )) (PP (IN ) (NP (DT ) (JJ ) (NN ) (NN ))))))))))))