wildly incompetent but brilliantly named half past dead -- or for seagal pessimists : totally past his prime 
(ROOT (UCP (FRAG (ADJP (ADJP (RB wildly) (JJ incompetent)) (CC but) (ADJP (RB brilliantly) (VBN named))) (ADJP (NN half) (IN past) (ADJP (JJ dead)))) (, --) (CC or) (PP (IN for) (NP (NN seagal) (NNS pessimists))) (: :) (PP (ADVP (RB totally)) (IN past) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN prime)))))
(ROOT (UCP (FRAG (ADJP (ADJP (RB ) (JJ )) (CC ) (ADJP (RB ) (VBN ))) (ADJP (NN ) (IN ) (ADJP (JJ )))) (, ) (CC ) (PP (IN ) (NP (NN ) (NNS ))) (: ) (PP (ADVP (RB )) (IN ) (NP (PRP$ ) (NN )))))