Well. It works until the very last moment. Which is massively unsatisfying. But it's nearly 11pm on Friday and I need a drink. TODO: a switch statement router needs to be built that will accommodate different types of responses. For example, when called from UrbanGlass, create.customer and charge.success happen at the same time. Subscriptions are contingent on existing accounts, so if a new account needs to be created, subscriptions must wait. However, if they're waiting for account creation, they'll need some trigger to fire (i tried putting it in a callback to no avail since by the time it was called, the body.object.type had already been used to do account creation. it's a finicky problem and will need a fresh brain to fix it. This is the longest commit message I've ever written.