SERVER-14041 enhance secondaryThrottle parameter

This reverts commit 37f2a1e3b724dbd9e1f8eafd4ac87c5bf613c048 (undo revert).
This reverts commit d60fd22dec1c0bd104622eab463cdbba18bf11a9 (undo revert).
Fix Windows compile failure.
Add more defensive checks.
Merge remote-tracking branch 'upstream/master'