Tweets working with Javascript preloaded on page.
Updated styles (hint: they're awful).
Change method of retrieving first tweet to not use int() ids
Simplified greatly. But the whole thing is shit because

1) you can only get the most recent 3200 statuses of a user through the REST API; and
2) Twitter already made this themselves: https://discover.twitter.com/first-tweet#audiodude

Abandoning this project...