implement entry API for HashMap

Deprecates the `find_or_*` family of "internal mutation" methods on `HashMap` in
favour of the "external mutation" Entry API as part of RFC 60. Part of #17320,
although this still needs to be done on `TreeMap` and `BTree`. Work on `TreeMap`
is TBD, and `BTree`'s work is part of the complete rewrite in #17334.

The implemented API deviates from the API described in the RFC in two key places:

* `VacantEntry.set` yields a mutable reference to the inserted element to avoid code
duplication where complex logic needs to be done *regardless* of whether the entry
was vacant or not.
* `OccupiedEntry.into_mut` was added so that it is possible to return a reference
into the map beyond the lifetime of the Entry itself, providing functional parity
to `VacantEntry.set`.

[breaking-change]
fallout from deprecating internal mutation methods
semis
semis
semis