First pass at separating out connect options from query options

An idea to resolve the confusing situation seen in #493 and a few previous tickets.

First pass code has the bad effect of overriding the user's settings with defaults if the user changes the class hash values in `@@default_query_options` before connecting, but has not updated to know about `@@default_connect_options` introduced here.

Retains the bad situation of having both sets of options in the `@query_options` hash from there on out.

Needs some more thinking, putting this out for comment and ideas.