Skip dry run on node upgrade.

* Add parameter to choose whether to launch a dry run node or to upgrade directly.
* Extending classes can overriding the dry run spec
* Direct upgrade just skips dry run (and no additional steps are executed)
* Re-use the install logic for updating the new version
Fix shutdown in HOT modes.

HA in HOT modes calls back into the ManagementContext, but it's flagged !running at this point so stopping fails. The solution is to mark it !running after HA stops.