rails 4.1

Fixes #143
FIX: reflections have been reworked in rails 4.1.2 - reflections is no longer available on activerecord objects, only on the class.

Fixes #143
touch_paranoia_column before really_destroy!-ing a record in rails 4.1.x. reloading already really_destroy!-ed associations is needed, otherwise super.destroy! will try to destroy these asociations (because they still exist on the activerecord object, but are already removed from the database)

Fixes #143
as of rails 4.0.4, touch fires after_commit callback - fixed test.

Fixes #143