consent

First stab:

remove consent message type, send instance handshake instead and include consent state (I'm not fully convinced this is nicer than what we had, I'd be happy to revert this)
remove reconnection code.
only store and restore user action bits in storage.
minor code cleanups.
what sets myInstance? if a request is made before instance is known, would it be preferable to wait until the instance is set rather than erroring?