Let it burn

Since toad gave tacit approval (or at least apathy) here are the two main patches from Frost. Apply and watch the network wither and die, or eat crow and spend months arguing about why it works.  I used the less insane seeming values from mmaalfdks for requeststarter delay reduction... if the network burns to the ground with those values, oo's original values should be far worse.
Of course, this should also probably just be reverted anyway, since the only reason we'd get a success from a backed off peer is if a) they are returning data requested a very long time ago. or b) enough of our peers are backed off that we try them anyway.  neither of these cases are really good candidates for resetting backoff on a peer.