Fix setting a polymorphic association's attributes to nil and saving, if that association had been non-nil and loaded.

This raised a nil deref, because the stale_state test returned true (the target was no longer valid) and so #find_target called #scope, which ran klass.all - which failed because #klass is now nil.

This only happened if saving the record holding this polymorphic association, as opposed to say referencing the association, because the latter is implemented by the SingularAssociation#reader method which called #reload if the target was stale.  This patch does something similar, but a bit less radical (calling reset).
Revert "Uses mysql2 0.3.13 or later"

This reverts commit 71d29251a5840c08ef39176c11538f1c1cbe1ff3.
disable the after_update belongs_to counter cache updater to work around issue #10865 (3.2 didn't have this callback); have proposed a better solution to rails-core