remove reference counting headers from ~

Unique pointers and vectors currently contain a reference counting
header when containing a managed pointer.

This `{ ref_count, type_desc, prev, next }` header is not necessary and
not a sensible foundation for tracing. It adds needless complexity to
library code and is responsible for breakage throughout the standard
library.

The `borrow_offset` field can now be removed from `TyDesc` along with
the associated handling in the compiler.

Closes #9510
Closes #11533