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https://jira2.iparadigms.com/secure/RapidBoard.jspa?rapidView=18&selectedIssue=TRN-22
I feel like the code as written is solid: not significantly less clear, correct, or concise than the proposed version. And that it adheres to all existing style guidelines for the project. 

Perhaps this a case where you're asking me to write the code as you would have written it (check out http://goodmath.scientopia.org/2011/07/06/things-everyone-should-do-code-review/ search for "The most common mistake in code review").