command: potentially fix dvd angle setting

This called demux_flush(), but that doesn't make any sense with an
asynchronously running demuxer. It would just keep reading and add new
packets again. Explicitly pause the demuxer, so that this can't happen.
Also, when flushing, data will be missing, so the decoders should
always be reinitialized, even if the operation fails.
player: fix regression with ordered chapters

Broken by commit 1301a907. This commit added demuxer threading, and
changed some other things to make them simpler and more orthogonal. One
of these things was ntofications about streams that appear during
playback. That's an obscure corner case, but the change made handling of
it as natural as normal initialization.

This didn't work for two reasons:
1. When playing an ordered chapters file where the initial segment was
not from the main file, its streams were added to the track list. So
they were printed twice, and switching to the next segment didn't work,
because the right streams were not selected.
2. EDL, CUE, as well as possibly certain Matroska files don't have any
data or tracks in the "main" demuxer, so normally the first segment is
picked for the track list. This was simply broken.

Fix by sprinkling the code with various hacks.
demux: don't start reading if no packets were requested yet

Instead of starting to fill the packet queue if at least 1 stream is
selected, wait until there is at least 1 stream had new packets
requested.

In theory this is cleaner, because it allows you to e.g. do a seek and
then reselect streams without losing packets. Seeking marks all streams
as inactive, and without this new logic, the thread would read new
packets anyway right after seek.