add working a_spin() atomic for non-x86 targets

conceptually, a_spin needs to be at least a compiler barrier, so the
compiler will not optimize out loops (and the load on each iteration)
while spinning. it should also be a memory barrier, or the spinning
thread might keep spinning without noticing stores from other threads,
thus delaying for longer than it should.

ideally, an optimal a_spin implementation that avoids unnecessary
cache/memory contention should be chosen for each arch, but for now,
the easiest thing is to perform a useless a_cas on the calling
thread's stack.
sanitize number of spins in userspace before futex wait

the previous spin limit of 10000 was utterly unreasonable.
empirically, it could consume up to 200000 cycles, whereas a failed
futex wait (EAGAIN) typically takes 1000 cycles or less, and even a
true wait/wake round seems much less expensive.

the new counts (100 for general wait, 200 in barrier) were simply
chosen to be in the range of what's reasonable without having adverse
effects on casual micro-benchmark tests I have been running. they may
still be too high, from a standpoint of not wasting cpu cycles, but at
least they're a lot better than before. rigorous testing across
different archs and cpu models should be performed at some point to
determine whether further adjustments should be made.
fix build error on arm due to new a_spin code

this was broken by commit ea818ea8340c13742a4f41e6077f732291aea4bc.
spin in sem_[timed]wait before performing futex wait

empirically, this increases the maximum rate of wait/post operations
between two threads by 20-150 times on machines I tested, including
x86 and arm. conceptually, it makes sense to do some spinning because
semaphores are intended to be usable as a notification mechanism
between threads, not just as locks, and low-latency notification is a
valuable property to have.
spin before waiting on futex in mutex and rwlock lock operations
refrain from spinning on locks when there is already a waiter

if there is already a waiter for a lock, spinning on the lock is
essentially an attempt to steal it from whichever waiter would obtain
it via any priority rules in place, and is therefore undesirable. in
the current implementation, there is always an inherent race window at
unlock during which a newly-arriving thread may steal the lock from
the existing waiters, but we should aim to keep this window minimal
rather than enlarging it.