osc/rdma: fix deadlock with put_long protocol.

When sending PUT_LONG, the data is sent before headers, and sometimes 
the header is not flushed immediately. This creates a lot of unexpected 
receives in the peer, since it would posts a receive only when gets the 
header, which makes it run out of receive buffers. When the sender 
eventually flushes the window, the receiver already has no buffers to 
receive the header, which causes a deadlock.

The fix is to always flush the headers when doing put_long.

cmr=v1.8.1:reviewer=hjelmn
OSHMEM: sshmem verbs: ofed api changes

Use only contig allocator if shared_mr() is not supported
Fixes ibv_exp_reg_mr() parameters passing.
Fixes incorrect handling of sshmem_verbs_hca_name option.

fixed by AlexM, reviewed by Mike

cmr=v1.8.1:reviewer=ompi-rm1.8