clean up refreshes

This is a larger clean-up of the refresh situation.
The general shift is that refreshes are now mainly triggered by
the (top-level) widgets when they get shown or closed via UIManager.

All refreshes for the widgets when they are in use were handled by
themselves before. This adds the case of showing/closing.

It is the desired result of not having UIManager:show()/:close()
do (full screen) refreshes on its own.
UIManager:_refresh(): no more default refresh

If no refresh type is specified, don't do a refresh.
There should be now refresh types specified in all relevant places.