[SQL] [SPARK-2826] Reduce the memory copy while building the hashmap for HashOuterJoin

This is a follow up for #1147 , this PR will improve the performance about 10% - 15% in my local tests.
```
Before:
LeftOuterJoin: took 16750 ms ([3000000] records)
LeftOuterJoin: took 15179 ms ([3000000] records)
RightOuterJoin: took 15515 ms ([3000000] records)
RightOuterJoin: took 15276 ms ([3000000] records)
FullOuterJoin: took 19150 ms ([6000000] records)
FullOuterJoin: took 18935 ms ([6000000] records)

After:
LeftOuterJoin: took 15218 ms ([3000000] records)
LeftOuterJoin: took 13503 ms ([3000000] records)
RightOuterJoin: took 13663 ms ([3000000] records)
RightOuterJoin: took 14025 ms ([3000000] records)
FullOuterJoin: took 16624 ms ([6000000] records)
FullOuterJoin: took 16578 ms ([6000000] records)
```

Besides the performance improvement, I also do some clean up as suggested in #1147

Author: Cheng Hao <hao.cheng@intel.com>

Closes #1765 from chenghao-intel/hash_outer_join_fixing and squashes the following commits:

ab1f9e0 [Cheng Hao] Reduce the memory copy while building the hashmap

(cherry picked from commit 5d54d71ddbac1fbb26925a8c9138bbb8c0e81db8)
Signed-off-by: Michael Armbrust <michael@databricks.com>