disable node if graceful_stop is_default
integrate deallocator in node.disable()/stop()
support graceful_stop.force setting in disable()

also removes graceful_stop.is_default as it cannot be
supported due to the limitation that jvm shutdown hooks
cannot be aborted.
make Deallocators aware of running deallocations
Merge pull request #8 from crate/m/deallocators_fix

make Deallocators aware of running deallocations
implemented primaries deallocation