Use Koen's abstract. It's about 20% cooler.
Remove besserwisser words (of course, obviously, straightforward, etc.)
Drastically cut down on "choosing a compiler"
Add blurb about why all of a sudden there's a bunch of Haste stuff.
Reference Cloud Haskell in implementation section.
Add client centricity to conclusions.
Note that Conductance and Duetto are quite young and quite unpublished.
Clarify that it's horrible when programs diverge.
Add real world applications to future work.
Add paragraph about why code sharing is important: GAEMS!!11
Replace monolithic by words without accidental negative connotations.