build: add option for reducing exports (v2)

This was committed previously as 4975ae172 and reverted, because the flags were
applied even if the checks didn't pass. This is the same commit, fixed up to
actually disable the functionality when necessary.

Enabled automatically if boost >= 1.49.
See: https://svn.boost.org/trac/boost/ticket/2309

Also, check for a default visibility attribute, so that we can mark future
api functions correctly.