Initial version for code review

Because the initial development was occurring on master, there isn't an easy way to do code review. This pull exists solely as a means to code review the entire project. Any changes will be put straight into master and this pull will be closed and the `initial-code-review` branch deleted. All future development will use pull requests into master to facilitate code review.
@joshterrell805 -- this isn't javascript, nearly all IO in php is blocking so you'd pretty much have to fork the process which is not worth it for only a few ms of operations.