Slapd: rename by parameters

* Rename by/what as by/access (as per official doc)
* Allow access to be absent (as per official doc)
Slapd: remove duplicate entry in database_re
Slapd: support smart quotes in database entry
Slapd: Allow any allowed combination of who/access/control in by field
Slapd: move by/who to the value of by
* NEWS: describe Slapd changes in last few commits