I'm not proud of this, but it will get me through

Yes, there is a shit ton of hard coded glop
In my defense, I threw up a lot while doing it.
That's not a defense, but maybe you'll see I understand the wrong.

TODO:
    1) Don't hardcode subnet id
    2) Don't hardcode VPC id
    3) Don't hardcode region.
    4) Provide VPC and Subnet lookup functions
    5) We're due for a rewrite