Mcgarry edits - Intro

After reconsidering, I do like your compromise sentence the best.


On 11/06/2014 01:34 PM, Katy Huff wrote:
>
> In fundamentals/intro.tex:
>
> > -individual facilities and materials.  Since fleet-based,
> > -lumped-material models do not distinguish between discrete facility entities or
> > -materials, many detailed performance metrics cannot be captured with
> > -those tools.
> > -
> > -One example use case seeks to capture system vulnerability to nefarious
> > -material diversion. This type of analysis requires discrete simulation of a
> > +Although some questions require resolution at the level of
> > +individual facilities and materials,
> > +Fleet-based, lumped-material models do not distinguish between discrete
> > +facility entities or materials.  As a result, detailed performance
> > +metrics cannot be captured with previously existing tools.
> > +The generality of \Cyclus therefore enables many use cases
> > +that cannot be achieved with fleet-based models.
> > +
> > +One such example is the use case that seeks to capture system vulnerability to nefarious
>
> why make this sentence passive? Maybe a comprimise? "Once such example 
> use case seeks to capture ..."
>
> —
> Reply to this email directly or view it on GitHub 
> <https://github.com/cyclus/fundamentals-paper/pull/60/files#r19968455>.
>