HPCC-12128 - MP connections take too long

When A-> B and B->A within a very short time frame a 3 minute delay would often occur after which a failed connection might still occur.  This was noticed very often when using the mptests, which are used for new mp lib development.

Signed-off-by: Mark Kelly <mark.kelly@lexisnexis.com>
slightly clearer if the 3000, that's used here and on readtms below was a #define