OMPI: add call to del_procs

fixed by AlexM, reviewed by miked
cmr=v1.7.5:reviewer=ompi-rm1.7
OSHMEM: finalization fixes

Fixes mxm endpoint destruction and hung during
SHMEM finalization.

Add a barrier between spml del procs and finalization.
Not having it caused hungs because ikrit spml can not properly
disconnect if its peer already finizalized.

Refs #3763
OSHMEM: MXM2: a2a perf improvement on large scale

Allow only limited number of coonections to have 'puts'
that do not require remote completion ack. That will
greatly improve performance of shmem_fence()/shmem_quiet()
and shmem_barrier() when there are many active connections.

fixed by Alex, reviewed by Miked

Refs #3763