Ruby 1.9 and 2.0 support with general updates all around

This is a lot of the same material from fork_web_server PR #2 but with a new twist. I have a wrapper bash script that holds FDs 3 and 4 open before going into Ruby land, keeping those FDs available for use with the queue scripts. This means no flag day is needed to get running on Ruby 1.9+ with existing scripts that may have assumed FDs 3 and 4 for communication with the queue manager.

This branch also uses the Daemons gem in place of homegrown daemonizing code and drops queuemgr_ctl entirely, since daemons does it better.

I am going to do at least one more big rebase and cleanup of this branch before I merge it as v1.13.0.