Hoisted configfile/stdin related things out of controller.c

Since controller.c now supports dynamically creating controllers,
opening the configfile can be done by main, and likewise for attaching
stdin/stdout as a controller script.
Renamed send_stall_time to send_abort_ts, and fixed logic using it

The old name didn't convey whether it was the last time we sent soething
or the time we were supposed to give up, and I had used it as both in
ctl_flush.  Fixed now.
Added option --mlockall, disabled by default
--config-file of '-' can now be used to enable --stdin

The difference is that --stdin will still try to load a config file, but
--config-file - will skip the config file in favor of stdin.  It also sets
the auto-final-newline feature on the parser.