Fix bugs in master

Ping @msmith-techempower and @aschneider-techempower for a code review before these changes are merged. I updated your port closing function quite a bit and fixed bugs that were preventing master from running properly. If this looks good it's ready to merge, but given how close you are to R10 I want someone to eyeball it before it hits master
Wow, I completely misread/interpreted your original question.

Real answer: killing the master process with `kill -9` will leave the child processes running and they will retain their PPID... I think. I can test this pretty reliably with the latest (commenting out our nuke-from-orbit call) and running a benchmark on `bottle`.