ISPN-4250 PR for ISPN-4190 causes a performance drop in repl mode

Revert "ISPN-4190 Use Message.Flag.DONT_LOOPBACK instead of RequestOptions.setExclusionList"

This reverts commit 5117fd30c1a487688bca9c75b9426b0db49bda05.

* This is reverted until JGroups bug can be fixed for DONT_LOOPBACK