Option to disable HAALISOURCE when building FFMS2 on VS

Visual Studio Express does not supply ATL and can't build the Haali-
supplied code in FFMS2, so provide an escape hatch for that.
Option to change parallel make options for gmake based VS projects

It seems that gmake can livelock in parallel make mode on Windows
in some cases. This provides an escape hatch for those cases.
Also ignore VS *.sdf lock files (*.opensdf)
Move style catalog indexing and naming logic
Pass style catalog names instead of file names to AssFile::LoadDefault
Forgot OSX default config in 6b827abec0
MicroDVD import should also use default styles