rails > 4.0.4 + rails 4.1 support

As of rails 4.0.4, touching a column will also fire the after_commit callback. rails changelog: <https://github.com/rails/rails/blob/v4.0.4/activerecord/CHANGELOG.md> ("Make touch fire the after_commit and after_rollback callbacks.") which means that one test is failing starting with rails 4.0.4.

In this pullrequest i just fixed the test, but I also want to raise the question: wouldn't it be better to work around using ```touch```, so that delete no longer raises the ```after_commit```callback? This would be nearer on the normal rails behaviour of having ```delete``` not firing any callbacks. As of now, ```delete``` also fires the ```after_touch``` callback, which might be surprising to some people.

I'd be glad to look into it, if people think that's worth doing.

Also, there are two fixes for rails 4.1

* starting with rails 4.1.0 ```really_destroy!``` only destroys already soft-deleted records, and soft-deletes "normal" records. fixed by calling ```touch_paranoia_column``` before calling ```destroy!```. after calling ```really_destroy!``` on the dependent objects, i reload the associations on the object, otherwise ActiveRecords's ```destroy!``` will try to destroy the already really_destroyed associated objects that still exist on the object, but no longer in the database. this fixes #129

* in rails 4.1.2 the reflections have been reworked and ```reflections``` can no longer be called on activerecord objects, but only on the class (<https://github.com/rails/rails/pull/15300>). there's still ```_reflections```but it's considered private.

Actually there should have been a separate pull request for the rails 4 issue and one for the rails 4.1 fixes, but i messed it up. Sorry, i'm quite new to the whole thing.

 Thanks for your feedback!