Fixed post fetching issues (no event registers) by rewriting the system to use a general registerPost function and dispatching an event for other scripts to hook onto. In order for this to work properly with the theme files the loading order needed to be rewritten as well, relying on a much more complex system wherein a theme JS file is always loaded dynamically and an init event is then dispatched that finally calls the proper purplish init.

Fucking bullshit this all is, if you ask me.