Make submodules externally refcounted

`git_submodule` objects were already refcounted internally in case
the submodule name was different from the path at which it was
stored.  This makes that refcounting externally used as well, so
`git_submodule_lookup` and `git_submodule_add_setup` return an
object that requires a `git_submodule_free` when done.
Fix submodule leaks and invalid references

This cleans up some places I missed that could hold onto submodule
references and cleans up the way in which the repository cache is
both reloaded and released so that existing submodule references
aren't destroyed inappropriately.
Merge pull request #2204 from libgit2/rb/submodule-reference-counting

Make submodules externally refcounted