+per defer for PersistentActor

note: defer does not persist anything (does not even hit the journal). I think this is enough, as if someone wants to persist stuff (get replayable stuff), they can just use persist methods.

Refs https://github.com/akka/akka/issues/15230
Depends on #15227

TODO: 
- [x] try to implement using same mechanisms as `persistAsync`, remove the 3rd state, make the Journal not persist `LoopStuff` wrapped messages.
- [x] update the persistence lambda docs
yes, this will not fly as public anyway, so please make it internal and create another ticket.
I think it falls into the category "not needed": user can create own composite message (the journal must anyway bunch them together into one byte blob).