Option to disable HAALISOURCE when building FFMS2 on VS

Visual Studio Express does not supply ATL and can't build the Haali-
supplied code in FFMS2, so provide an escape hatch for that.
Option to change parallel make options for gmake based VS projects

It seems that gmake can livelock in parallel make mode on Windows
in some cases. This provides an escape hatch for those cases.
Also ignore VS *.sdf lock files (*.opensdf)