[replace-across-files] Unify Find Bars across FindReplace/FindInFiles

This gets rid of a lot of the redundant find bar code across single-file and multi-file find. There are still a few bits in FindInFiles that directly monkeypatch into the FindBar's ModalBar (see the TODOs in FindInFiles), but I think we can clean that up later if we want.

The first two commits are fairly semantic, and it's probably worth looking at them individually (the big one is the second one) - I added some comments in the individual commits, but if you want I can move them to the main PR diffs.

Note that this PR is a PR into the `nj/replace-across-files` branch, so this can be merged when it's reviewed (it'll just go into that long-running branch).
It gets called from "Find All and Select", which creates a multiple selection from all the matches for the current selection in the file. This runs without the find bar open. Since that command never treats the selection as a regexp, it's okay to run `parseQuery()` with no FindBar in that case since there will never be a regexp error to show.