[Infra] remove indicesLifecycle.Listener from IndexingMemoryController

The IndexingMemoryController determines the amount of indexing buffer size and translog buffer size each shard should have. It takes memory from inactive shards (indexing wise) and assigns it to other shards. To do so it needs to know about the addition and closing of shards. The current implementation hooks into the indicesService.indicesLifecycle() mechanism to receive call backs, such shard entered the POST_RECOVERY state. Those call backs are typically run on the thread that actually made the change. A mutex was used to synchronize those callbacks with IndexingMemoryController's background thread, which updates the internal engines memory usage on a regular interval. This introduced a dependency between those threads and the locks of the internal engines hosted on the node. In a *very* rare situation (two tests runs locally) this can cause recovery time outs where two nodes are recovering replicas from each other.

 This commit introduces a a lock free approach that updates the internal data structures during iterations in the background thread.

Closes #6892