[SPARK-3948][Shuffle]Fix stream corruption bug in sort-based shuffle

Kernel 2.6.32 bug will lead to unexpected behavior of transferTo in copyStream, and this will corrupt the shuffle output file in sort-based shuffle, which will somehow introduce PARSING_ERROR(2), deserialization error or offset out of range. Here fix this by adding append flag, also add some position checking code. Details can be seen in [SPARK-3948](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/SPARK-3948).

Author: jerryshao <saisai.shao@intel.com>

Closes #2824 from jerryshao/SPARK-3948 and squashes the following commits:

be0533a [jerryshao] Address the comments
a82b184 [jerryshao] add configuration to control the NIO way of copying stream
e17ada2 [jerryshao] Fix kernel 2.6.32 bug led unexpected behavior of transferTo