Cache rejected tx to avoid rerequesting

AlreadyHave only prevents rerequesting transactions accepted to the mempool or identified as orphans; if a transaction failed validation, it keeps requesting it and validating it every time it receives an inv. This change adds a small mruset to remember some failed transactions.

This requires a new distinction between permanent failures (that are independent of chain state) and temporary failures; the few potentially temporary rejections are not cached.

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I wrote this because my node keeps banning old peers affected by #3190, when they're only resending the failed transactions because we keep getdataing them. A small cache of invalid transactions has low overhead in code complexity and runtime complexity, and prevents a lot of unnecessary banning for #3190 and any possible future bugs with similar effects.
That's an *output* parameter, passing a copy would defeat the purpose