Fix a deadlock in channels, again.

This deadlock was caused when the channel was closed at just the right time, so
the extra `self.cnt.fetch_add` actually should have preserved the DISCONNECTED
state of the channel. by modifying this the channel entered a state such that
the port would never succeed in dropping.

This also moves the increment of self.steals until after the MAX_STEALS block.
The reason for this is that in 'fn recv()' the steals variable is decremented
immediately after the try_recv(), which could in theory set steals to -1 if it
was previously set to 0 in try_recv().

Closes #12340