Java Wars - a New String[]

The forces of the Luddites have been thrown into disarray on discovering
that Commander Needham is actually the much-reviled Char-Char Binks.  A
command for his execution has been parsed (boom boom ching) throughout
the system.

Ominscient Constructor of all things good and working Seb is pressing
home the advantage, with his forces infiltrating and converting the
Luddites with the promise of "Being able to play that Hearthstone thing
better with a computer that uses Java and stuff".

Nathan is currently in a food-induced coma after having lunch with
Char-Char, all part of Binks' nefarious plot no doubt.