Wait till node is part of cluster state for join process

When a node sends a join request to the master, only send back the response after it has been added to the master cluster state and published.
This will fix the rare cases where today, a join request can return, and the master, since its under load, have not yet added the node to its cluster state, and the node that joined will start a fault detect against the master, failing since its not part of the cluster state.
Since now the join request is longer, also increase the join request timeout default.
aye, this would be nice