net: avoid use of listener socket options on active open sockets

This CL ensures we use the correct socket options for
passive and active open sockets.

For the passive open sockets created by Listen functions,
additional SO_REUSEADDR, SO_REUSEPORT options are required
for the quick service restart and/or multicasting.

For the active open sockets created by Dial functions, no
additional options are required.

R=golang-dev, dave, bradfitz, rsc
CC=golang-dev
https://codereview.appspot.com/7795050