Don't be ridiculous. These are just different techniques with different tradeoffs. Also, there really is not much difference between accumulating the classmap in the APC data cache or explicitly generating a map that is then also cached in the APC cache. The key property of these techniques is that the files are generated.

Using classmap is probably less flexible but provides better performance. See e.g. https://github.com/Seldaek/autoload-bench

If you do not like the idea of having multiple classes in one _generated_ php file, just think of it as an archive. Could probably even use a phar file instead. Also, I would like to point out that there are files in the ownCloud core tree that contain multiple classes (and these are not generated).

Speaking of dirty hacks, I suggest you have a look at the proposed way of addressing the "too many includes" problem. https://github.com/owncloud/core/pull/5026#issuecomment-25328860