fix long-standing pending_connect/inactivity timeout issue

this reverts a change made for #374, which inadvertently disabled inactivity
timeouts altogether.

instead we always QueueHeartbeat when bConnectPending changes, so
GetNextHeartbeat can calculate a timeout based on the new connection
state. i confirmed this fixes the broken test on master, and the original
"20s delay" bug (using the repro in #393).

this should also address the timeout stacking issue reported in
igrigorik/em-http-request#149, as well as the original report in
igrigorik/em-http-request#222
use hack from luislavena/rake-compiler#36 to work around rake-compiler bug (fixes #222)
v1.0.2
fix EM.system (cc #322) (closes #413)
v1.0.3
fix compilation on solaris with new sunww compilers (closes #416)
add licenses to gemspec

so rubygems.org can display them. 
Merge pull request #421 from pivotal-cloudplanner/patch-1

add licenses to gemspec
Fix crash on attach/detach in the same tick
Merge pull request #427 from pietern/attach-detach

Fix crash on attach/detach in the same tick
fix idle test with epoll (cc #427)
fix infinite loop in heartbeat dispatch when system time is changed (closes #428)
fix EM.stop latency when timers exist (closes #426)
fix rake-compiler hacks when cross-compile env is missing
Fix for ../../../../ext/ed.cpp:987: error: ISO C++ forbids variable-size array ‘iov’

No standards-compliant compiler should have allowed this through.
Fix compiler warnings

Just to trigger a build, really
Fix indentation in README
Merge pull request #434 from chocoby/fix_indentation

Fix indentation in README
Bug fix for OS_WIN32: Replaced errno with WSAGetLastError() where result is compared with WSAE... codes.

Per http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/windows/desktop/ms737828%28v=vs.85%29.aspx
Error codes set by Windows Sockets are not made available through the
errno variable.

Comparison of errno values with WSAE codes was causing EventMachine
to spontaneously close socket connections when the errno value didn't
match the expected WSAE codes.
Merge pull request #433 from johnsyweb/i686-apple-darwin11-llvm-gcc-4.2-fix

ISO C++ forbids variable-size array ‘iov’