Autocommit Sun Dec 01 14:40:41 NZDT 2013

It's gonna be alright,
It's almost midnight,
And I've got two more bottles of wine.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:08:41 NZDT 2013

Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!!  I wonder why?
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:36:41 NZDT 2013

00 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become 00,000, at
which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
		-- Lazarus Long, 'Time Enough for Love'
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:45:41 NZDT 2013

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.
		-- Tacitus (c.55 - c.117)
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:46:41 NZDT 2013

I just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke. I think I saw God.
		-- B. Hathrume Duk
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:51:41 NZDT 2013

Well, don't worry about it...  It's nothing.
		-- Lieutenant Kermit Tyler (Duty Officer of Shafter Information
		   Center, Hawaii), upon being informed that Private Joseph
		   Lockard had picked up a radar signal of what appeared to be
		   at least 50 planes soaring toward Oahu at almost 180 miles
		   per hour, December 7, 1941.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:52:41 NZDT 2013

Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:53:41 NZDT 2013

Think of it!  With VLSI we can pack 100 ENIACs in 1 sq. cm.!
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:57:41 NZDT 2013

Dentist, n.:
	A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls
	coins out of one's pockets.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, 'The Devil's Dictionary'
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 15:58:41 NZDT 2013

When I'm gone, boxing will be nothing again.  The fans with the cigars and
the hats turned down'll be there, but no more housewives and little men in
the street and foreign presidents.  It's goin' to be back to the fighter who
comes to town, smells a flower, visits a hospital, blows a horn and says
he's in shape.  Old hat.  I was the onliest boxer in history people asked
questions like a senator.
		-- Muhammad Ali
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 16:00:41 NZDT 2013

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 16:03:41 NZDT 2013

A pencil with no point needs no eraser.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 16:06:41 NZDT 2013

Pray:  To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single
petitioner confessedly unworthy.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 16:09:41 NZDT 2013

No matter who you are, some scholar can show you the great idea you had
was had by someone before you.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 16:58:18 NZDT 2013

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for
the people.
		-- Oscar Wilde
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 17:00:18 NZDT 2013

Q:	What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A:	A dope ring.

Q:	Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A:	To cover up the valve stem.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 17:01:18 NZDT 2013

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 19:32:18 NZDT 2013

Encyclopedia Salesmen:
	Invite them all in.  Nip out the back door.  Phone the police
	and tell them your house is being burgled.
		-- Mike Harding, 'The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac'
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 19:33:18 NZDT 2013

	Talking Pinhead Blues:
Oh, I LOST my HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on channel
    TWENTY-SIX!!

Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS has been
    DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)

My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th' dog, ALEXANDER HAIG
    won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter ... (snurf)

So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me upside mah HAID!!
    (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)
Autocommit Sun Dec 01 19:34:18 NZDT 2013

I'll defend to the death your right to say that, but I never said I'd
listen to it!
		-- Tom Galloway with apologies to Voltaire